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THE KANSAS CITT JOMNAtFKIDAY, PEB WaT&Y il897.
THE KANSAS CITY JOURNAL.
The Journal Compnny, Publishers.
Journnl I!uUlInc Tenth anil Wnlnnt.
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Entered at the Postofllce at Kansas City,
Mo., as Second Class Mail Matter.
Washington. Feb. 11. For Missouri: Fair
and slightly colder Friday; northwest
For Indian Territory and Oklahoma: Fair
Friday; light west winds.
For Kansas: Fair Friday; west winds.
1 Tp 1
Stations. Bar . pm pre.'vrth'r
Bismarck, N.D -' - -02 Cloudy
DesMolnesVia. 29-86 -J? Snow
Duluth.Mlnn 29-W 22 .WSnow
Galveston, Tex .M .01 Cloudy
Helena, Mont........ 23-M 2 T Snow
KinsScity.Mi.... 29.8S 34 .02 Cloudy
New Orleans, La.... 29.S2 GG -Rain
Oklahoma Ctty.O.T. 29.95 20 .00 Clear
St. Louis, Ho 29.SG 2C .01 Snow
8t-Paul. Minn 29.SG 20 .MHSnow
Bait Lake City. U.... 20.02 40 .00 Cloudy
Springfield. Mo 29.S4 2S .02 Cloudy
A BRACE OF REMEDIES.
The last piece of folly, proposed by the
Kansas legislature is the creation of a.
state department of insurance which will
carry on, the business of Insuring all kinds
of property against losses from flre. It
Is intended as a remedy for the work of
another bill, which provides that all in
surance companies shall Inyest 50 per cent
of their receipts from Kansas policy hold
ers In Kansas securities, and which could
hav? no other effect than driving such
companies out of business In the state.
"All right, let them go," iid a Populist
senator in dlscussins the matter. yester
day; "when they, are. gpne.wg--will apjily
the remedy of homq Jnsunmci'rarid keen
the-iaoney within thetetwWch'now goes
abroad." --..' ,-:'ij !
If there Is any poslthm Inwhtch the
"Populist party shines allts .brightest, ji
is "when proposing a remedy for' some of
the consequences of Its'jSwjj'ftuitaslic Je-j
xsiauon. mil in uus instance we uru cuu
vinced that its work has been hasty and'
Ill-advised. There Is now pending a bill
-which provides that Kansas shall make
her owi money. It Is to be non-redeemable,
non-Interest bearing. In fact, pure
fiat, and there has-been something of a
fear that 'people might decline to take it.
Instead, therefore, of passing laws which
will keep this money within the-borders
of the start, it would seem to bo the part
of -wise statesmanship to force it out Into
the markets of the world, where it could
perform Ha work of education and bring
the whole people to an appreciative knowl
edge of the Kansas system. In fact, we
can conceive of nothing' which would more
entirely conduce to the advantage of the
Kansas people than a law which compelled
the Insurance companies to stay right on
the ground and do business taking fiat
money for premiums and paying back gold
for los-ies. There can be no doubt that
three-fourths of the present legislature be
lieve money can be made out of wind, and
any law therefore which assumes to pro
hibit the free and unlimited circulation of
wind would be not only inconsequential,
but likewise selfish.
Th'ere is another bit of remedial legisla
tion to which our attention has been at
tracted, and we refer to it now because
It would be too bad If the Kansas legisla
ture adjourned without attending to the
matter. The railroad bill which has
been reported by the house committee
provides that the attorney general must
bring suit against the Interstate com
merce commission to compel it to es
tablish an interstate maximum freight
rate. Judge Sage, of the Ohio district, has
just decided that the Interstate commcrco
commission has no power to llx interstate
rates, and it is obvious that it would never
do in the world for the Kansas legislature
to adjourn without cither enlarging the
powers of the commission or passing a
maximum interstate rale on its own ac
count. A XEW RACE OF .1AYHAWKERS.
The exposure of a secret society which
for years has been doing business in Ken
tucky under the title of "Jnyhawkcrs"
discloses to what b.ise uses a fine old name
may s-ometlmcs be put. The word was
of distinctively IConsas origin, and came
to be applied to those men banded together
for the advancement of human freedom
and the liberation of the enslaved negro.
In Kentucky the purposes of the "Jay
liawkcrs" appear to be exactly the oppo
site of these, for they are accused of all
ports of outrages upon the negroes and of
ha-vlng for one of their tenets of faith
the belief that the race should be deprived
of the right to vote.
Probably no better evidence of the char
acter of the Kentucky organization could
be submitted than an extract from the ob
ligation which must be taken by men seek
ing admission, as follows:
I further promise and swear that I will
obey any summons from the chief coun
cilor. It being in my power so to do, and
I will protect and defend any member of
this order, whether right or wrong, it need
be with my blood, or with uplifted hand In
any so-called court of justice."
Having thus surrendered his individuality
and manhood into the keeping of the so
ciety the candldato subscribes himself to
the following hair-raising penalty:
"Binding myself, under the penalty of
having my right arm severed from my
body, my flesh torn Into shreds, and my
soul earned to hell by tlio devil and his
angels, there to receive nil the tortures Sa
tan can inflict throughout all eternity,
should I ever proyo wilfully guilty of vio
lating this, my most sacred, obligation."
One of tho anomalies of humanity Is
presented in an organization like these
Kentucky "Jayhawkers." It will readily
be admitted that a man -who would thus
surrender his liberty and become an out
cast and criminal at tho command of a
superior officer must be weak indeed. And
yet it cannot be denied that, though vicious
and barbaric these men are strong, for
they do things which call for a high order
of mental and physical courage such, for
Instance, as facing prison and even death
rather than betray a fellow member.
CHIEF JIUIX, l'OLITICLIX AND MA
CHINIST. If the lawmakers of Missouri -want oc
cular demonstration of the necessity of
referm in Kansas City's police department,
let them keep their eyes on Chief of Po
lice Julian, who is now at Jefferson City
working for tho protection of Commission
ers Fyke and Johnson and for the grain
Mr. Julian's interest in the proposed sep
aration of grain inspection from the office
of railroad commissioner Is said tcTbe 'in
spired, by his -desire to secure for Marcy
K. Brown a fat appointive office.
The .office of chief of police Is one of
the most active in the city government.
It is especially liable to emergency cuty.
Its incumbent should always bo at his
pobt or within call. Yet Julian finds time
to make a prolonged visit to the capital
for political purposes. He realizes that the
political machine is about to go to pieces,
and he finds it more Important to bolster
it up than to attend to the needs of the
people. i ,
Julian's services as chief of police are
none too valuable -when they are given
-without interruption; but lie happens to
be invested with the authority of office
and he should be on guard.
COMEDIAN ROnsON1 TURNED REALIST
It would seem that the very acme of the
atrical realism has been reached in tho
dramatization of Opie;Read's story of "The
Jucklins," presented Monday night in Chi
cago by Mr. Stuart Rpbson. Until now we
have descanted upon ihe verity of numer
ous properties and episodes of various
"shows," but Mr.-Robson has demonstrated
that we have been 'too easily satisfied. Like
the Edison inventions, this new exposition
makes us wonder how we ever got along
This bit of realism, which puts in the
gloom everything of the rt that has gone
before, is a cock fight not a make-believe
main, but one in which the combatants are
genuine game roosters. The fight Is said to
be so desperate and to be fraught with Buch
hazard to the life and limb of the birds,
that four "extras" are kept In reserve.
Mr. Robson, realizing the importance of
the cocks, artistically subordinates his own
personality, and refuses to take curtain
calls after their scene.
One can now see how very ordinary, aftei
all, have been the unreaj flre engines of the
drjv-for-llfefplaysthe rivers of real -water,
fed Jay Email pipes and 'resting on beds
ofltarpaulln; the otsj and'-pansjand rcast.
turkey 6f the rural drama; the treadmill?
races of the Sporting. comedies; the caged"
lions, of "Theodora, !. and the made-whlle-you-walt
cigarettes and cocktails of the
stage. . ' , lii,
Even the ticker of "The Henrietta" had
lost Its pulsating influence, and Mr. Rob
son realized that ho must give tho public
something. hot with excitement. He evi
dently believed that comprehensive real
ism was the thing. He did not bother
about the subtleties of the exclusive cults.
He must have rubbed his hands with gleo
when tho rooster idea struck him. Equipped
with six game birds that will fight at
the drop of a feather, he has taken a new
lease of prosperity.
To be sure, Mr. Robson sinks himself in
exploiting such a masterful exhibition of
dramatic reality, but the disciples of the
real all have to .come to the necessity of
self-extinction. He is now prepared to go
on the lecture platform and expound the
beauties of his discovery and challenge
those who analyze -tho ghastly horrors of
Zola's "Therese," tho maternal love of
Yvette Gullbert's "La Glu," or the name
less dread of Ibsen's "Ghosts."
It is a strange coincidence that Mr. Rob
son's new expedient should bo tried the
same week that a Cadillac, Mich., clergy
man illustrated tho deadly effects of nico
tine poison by putting- two cats to death in
Ihe church and the stage cannot be en
ZEAL "WITHOUT WISDOM.
There are two subjects that the average
legislator feels himself entirely competent
to tackle, the road law and tho state pub
lication of school books, and judged from
results, he handles one about as effectively
n3 he does the other. The legislatures of
Kansas and Missouri are both engaged at
present upon the latter question. Both
want state uniformity from the Silurian
age to the end of time. Both would like
to have the convicts in the penitentiaries
compose, edit and publish a series of school
bocks for exclusive use in all the schools
of the state; but the idea of penitentiary
publication awakened a sort of moral re
vulsion In tho minds of a majority with
sufficient force as to render this course
impracticable at present. So modified
schemes are submitted.
In Kansas it is to bo a grand commis
sion of large dimensions to sit in solemn
judgment and select text books at a min
imum price for all tho schools, and If the
bids are not received at tho maximum
price the state will pay then tho state is
going to do the job itself. This Is what
may be considered as plunging into a good
thing heels over head. The people would
better not hold their breath till tho divors
come to the surface. Such Is the situation
at Topeka now.
At Jefferson City the .situation a some
what different, because tho conditions ore
not exactly similar. Six years agi a text
book commission was created and empow-.
cred to select text books in the common
branches for all tho public schools in the
state. St. Louis and Kansas City under
that law were exempt from tho operation
of the act. The books were selected for,
five years. Tho time has already expired,
and the house bill now pending in the Mis
souri legislature Is to re-enact the old lavf
with a tremendous appendix attached,
namely, to force the stato books on'SL'
Louis and Kansas City, and to selectalli
tho high school books for the stato 'be
sides. Kansas City uses the geographies which
were adopted by the state commission, but "
no other books; St. Louis, uses the'gram
mars. Should Kansas City and St, Lbulfl.
not "be exempt, it means that between Sep-
tembcr, 1S97, and September, 1KB, all the
ward school books the children have iq
Kansas City except their geographies mint
bo thrown aside and tho state book3
bought, while In St. Louis all books must
be bought anew except grammars.
This bill makes no provision for "ex
change of books; it simply prescribes what
shall bo used. To tho parent it means that
the books that havo been bought and paid
for must bo cast aside and new books
.bousht instead. No chanco whatever is
.given .to trade, old books. for-new ones, or
to give book for book. The price of the
books, considering quality. Is greater than
the contract prices that the boards of edu
cation of Kansas City and St. Louis make
with the, publishers direct.
Should Kansas City not be exempt, Ihe
loss, including books In the hands of thet
pupils in the ward schools and the high
schools, will not fall below $73,000, not to
say anything of the dead stock left in the
hands of dealers, and which they cannot
exchange at any price.
The representatives from Jackson, no
doubt, will oppose, with entire unanimity,
a measure so unjust to the Interests of this
February is really a delightful month, to
everybody except those of us who happen
not to bo -web-footed.
It seems no cranks appeared at the Brad
ley Martin ball to disturb the serenity of
the snobs and chumps.
Those who are disposed to sneer at Queen
Victoria's $2,300 contribution to the India
relief fund should remember that her maj
esty's Income is only a few millions a year.
Although President Eliot's request for
$10,000,000 additional donations to Harvard
was made several days ago, the amount
has not yet been sent in. This shows how
hard times are.
One of General Weyler's troubles comes
from the fact that typewriter "pacifica
tion" doesn't pacify.
Buslinell is not tho only Ohio man who
can blast senatorial ambitions. Mr. Hanna
would respectfully call attention to tho
fact that there are others.
If the djlnklng water in Chicago is so
impure, it is strange the newspapers .of
that city don't caution residents to boll it.
It can be said to the credit of the United
States,' navy that frequently' moro than
half of the warships are afloat at the
Bills have been introduced in the Kansas
legislature to reform about everything ex
cept the practice of electing wild-eyed re
formers to tho legislatures. '
The report that General Weyler's sol
diers love him has all the earmarks of a
Because Fitzslmmons has been wrestling
with a dog it shouldn't be supposed that
he 13 maintaining a dogged silence. He
It must greatly puzzle Mr. Searles in his
meditative moments to understand how
this country ever managed to get along
before tho sugar trust started.
Fasting and prayer is tho remedy pre--.scribed
by an Omaha clergyman for munl
cipaVboodling. Tho boodiers can be de
pended on to indorse this remedy to a man.
Now if there are any other wealthy New
York snobswhp want to -put money into
'clrculatlonf let" them brlng'tn tnelr' balls:
The statement that tho. Kansas legisla
ture contains only ono editor is an uncom
monly handsome compliment to tho press.
William L. Wilson Is to become a college
president. As college presidents havo noth
ing to do 'with framing tariff measures,
Mr. Wilson may bo a shining success in his
Cuba is not opposed to reforms, but she i3
partial to the home made variety.
The physicians have never yet been called
In to mako repairs on John L. Sullivan's
Indiana people say their stato contains
more poets than any other state. Yet they
have considerately refrained from asking
congress for an appropriation to extermin
It seems Messrs. Foraker and Bushnell
didn't know there was a string tied to
Sherman's cabinet appointment.
Three weeks from this morning Mr. G.
Cleveland will roll out of bed and find a
largo and becoming "ex" prefixed to his
Tho contest between the Kansas and
Missouri legislatures as to which can in
troduce tho greatest number of fool bills
in a given tims Is thus far a dead heat.
Tho truth is that the people who now
believe this government can pay running
expenses without a pretty high tariff aro
few and far between. As an object lesson
on this subject the Wilson bill has been a
Jeff City Is to hold a public meeting Sun
day night in the interest of the ratifica
tion of the arbitration treaty with Great
Britain. This will clear the way for fav
orable action by tho senate early next
At any rate there's nothing scaly about
the reappointment of Colonel Crisp ns
a a a
Trenton is supplying a considerable
number of horses to the Philadelphia
market, a dealer making weekly visits to
the former place for buying purposes.
The latest route planned for the "straw
berry express" electric line is from Jop
lln to Aurora by way of Sarcoxie. The
berry men are pushing the project and
there Is a probability that the road will
The seven Mexican war veterans who
reside In.Jasper City are planning a big
dinner in their town February 22, the
flftie-.h anniversary of the battle of Buena
Vists, the guests of honor to be their
comrades residing in Jasper, Newton and
"-"The "Vesta" picture an attractive
sftmplo of '"altogether" art. which has
been on exhibition in various towns in tho.
jslntn.and nnw-flmaments the barroom of a.
Sedalla hotel. Is said by an expert-in-that
town; to have 'been painted from a local
a a a
Knob Noster's new curfew ordinance
place j the age limit at 20 years.
John G. Bailey, who died at his home
north of Bucklln last week, at tho age
of 7S, was one of Linn county's best known
citizens, having resided there continuous- i
ly since 1SD9.
Not that Brookfleld is likely to have a
telephone exchange and a new electric
light Mant, some of her widewake citizens
are demanding that a modern hotel and
an ctera house bo added to the list of
absoh te necessities.
-LibertjF papers, are cackling over the
phenomenal record of a io.i jien. which,
although but ten months old, has laid 120
Trcn on Odd Follows, who dedicated their
new i;mple with appropriately imposing1
ceremonies Tuesday, are the proud own
ers of the finest business block -In the city.
(Marshall has bumped up against a reali
zation that if it Is going to live up to Its
metropolitan pretensions It must tackle
tho sewer problem without further delay.
An nttempt Is to bo made at i. meeting
In Sarcoxie February 23 to bring all tho
bony growers of Southwest Missouri and
Northwestern Arkansas together' Into ono
big organization for their mutual benefit
Up to Wednesday night Sedalla subscrib
ers had paid up in cash $15,700. toward the
first quarterly installment of $23,000 on the
$100,000 lot purchase which Is to secure the
location there o the "Katy" shops and
general offices '
Carthago municipal authorities have a
$3,000 sidewalk damage suit on hand but
are so confident of being able to beat li
thnt they havo refused to compromise on
a basis of $200.
Scmebody called attention to tho fact in
Carthage Thursday that with the month of
February nearly half gone there had been
during the entire time less than six hours
of sunshine there. The oldest inhabitant
will have to hustle If he shows up u
parallel for this.
Miles Standlsh spoke for himself at Cooi
idge the other day, but the young woman's
name was Mary, not Priscilla.
Before closing this pyramid discussion
once for all we would like to Inquire if any
one knows how those Wichita people who
were barked at by mad dogs are getting
nlong since they came back from the Pas
teur institute. ,
If we understand Senator Peffer's posi
tion, there is no danger of the fusion policy
The people of Kansas are rapidly becom
ing reconciled to Senator Peffer's defeat.
He announces that ho does not intend to
take the lecture platform.
It is easy to pick out the Populist editors
over Kansas who were turned down for of
fice. They are writing editorials under the
title, "Will Manhood Assert Itself Over
Greed," and such like.
Tho Syracuse Republican speaks of a
"terpslchorean .ball' out there as quite the
finest social event of the season. It was no
doubt attended by all of the fashionable
lady women and tho leading male men.
t - . . .
Kansas is not altogether Indisposed to
stand with Dr. Lyman Abbott in his dis
belief of the whale and Jonah story, hut so
long as the Populist legislature remains in
session she will resent any doubt cast up
on Daniel and the lion's den.
When W. J. Bryan stepped off the Mis
souri, Kansas & Texas train to take din
ner at Parsons the other day a small crowd
gathered around to see If that smile was
all that Mrs. Bryan had cracked it up to
be. But Bryan did not smile. Ho simply
The bill which compels street car compa
nies to place vestibules on cars for tho pro
tectipn of conductors and motormen has
now passed both houses, but nowhere in It
can consolation be found for tho man who
braves the storm from the front seat on a
coal wagon or the poor devil who blisters
through a July sun as chief engineer of a
Seme of tho Populist legislators aro com
plaining that theyaro not treated fairly
and that the newspapers should wait until
the legislature has completed its work td
foie condemning it so unmercifully. There
would be a great deal ot Justice in this
claim but for the fact that these self-same
legislators have been keeping up a yelp
evei- since the polls closed In November
abfcutt the ndn-arrival of the prosperity
pledged in the" election ot McKInley. It
they expect to be judged by the legislation
which they ultimately pass they shouM
concede tho same rights to the McKinlcy
Tho Sunday School Association at Hallo
well has passed a aeries of resolutions
in which it announces itself as opposed
to .ill "Suhday traffic, -"such as running of
trains, hunting, gambling and other vio
lations which aW prohibited by the stat
utes." This ought to effectually dispose
of any suspicion that tho Sunday schools
of Southern Kansas were In favor of
gambllhg, hunting and other infractions
of tho Sunday law.
Colonel Whoop Tomllnson is talking
about calling a convention of "Kansas De
mocracy" to protest against the way tho
Populists are running things. There Is
no Kansas Democracy at present avail
able for the purpose. 'Gene Hagan and
BUI Perry went to Washington three
weeks ago ind are still there.
There havo been Instances on record
where railroad companies put themselves
to considerable trouble In accommodation
of the public, but probably no parallel
could be found to a case which is reported
In tho Newton Republican. S. M. Swartz
boarded a Missouri Pacific passenger train
there tho other day on route for a visit
to his old home in Pennsylvania. When
tho train was a mile or two out the con
ductor came around for his ticket and ho
made tho discovery that he had left it at
home. The conductor stopped the train,
backed up to the station and waited pa
tiently until Mr. Schwartz could run three
or four blocks to his house nnd secure tho
Tho real heroes and heroines of this
world aro often found in the walks of
everyday life, and when they die no mar
ble shaft extols their virtues. There was
a funeral at Fort Scott the other day the
funeral of a heroine and yet two old ex
press wagons with chairs in them were all
sufficient to Carry the people who went to
tho cemetery to lay her away. Mrs. Kate
Schiller was the name of the woman, and
after she was dead and buried a preacher
who had known her In youth told the peo
plo of Fort Scott her story. Years ago
Kato Sallier was tho belle of Northern
Wisconsin, nnd when she married Frank
Schiller it was made the greatest fashion
able event Green Bay had ever known.
He was the owner of a llneof lake steam
boats and exceedingly wealthy, nnd their
homo' was famed far and wide for its lux
urious appointments and its cultured hos
pitality. By and by he was stricken with
paralysis, and little by little his fortune
crumbled away. At last she gathered up
her wrecked husband, her little children
and somo remnants of their property and
camo to Fort Scott, where continued ad
versity reduced them to absoluto poverty.
Uncomplainingly she took up the burden.
What with washing and Ironing a few
boarders anything honorable she man
aged to keep her children In school and
her helpless husband in needful medicines.
For fifteen years she worked on, with no
wordi of bitterness or complaint: always
with a smile -for her own", though some
times It was wan and weary. Then she
died. Already she is forgotten.
Kansas may anyway consolo herself
with' the knowledge that she has a left
hand relationship with McKlnley's cab
inet. Attorney General McCook and Sec
retary Sherman each had brothers In Kan
sas in the early days. One was General
Daniel McCook and tho other Qeneral W.
T. Sherman, who,- together with Thomas
Ewing, formed a law firm in Leavenworth
which lasted until just before the war.
.There is an Atchison man, acco-ding to
the'GTobc, who intends to gather statistics
to. show how many people are Dermlttpi tn
I die peacefully without the aid ot a sur-
geon's knife. This being done, "ho will
pile up figures in tho Interest of the man
who -eats poorly cooked meals while his
wife Is at card parties, and also in tho In
terest of the father who is driven from the
parlor to the kitchen by the young 'men
wno can on nis daughters. He will call
himself the 'Statistician of tho Oppressed,
and hopes in this way to become known as
a reformer and a wise man."
A case has been started -in ono of the
district courts in Western Kansas which
will be watched with Interest by the law
yers. Kansas has a law which forbids the
marriage of either party to a divorce until
after the expiration of six months from
tho date of the decree. It. Is regarded as
bigamy If cither party shall marry any
earlier and the penalty is the same as for
bigamy. In the case to which we allude
the couple had been duly divorced nnd the
decree entered. Threo weeks later they
effected a rconcillatlon and were remar
ried, after first procuring a license and
proceeding In every manner as though" It
was a new deal entirely.. Some.enemies'Ot
the husband, however, -caused tho arrest
of both under the law which makes such a
marriage bigamy and the case will come
on for hearing in April. A distinguished
ex-member of the Knnsas supreme court
said to Topics yesterday, when his atten
tion was called to the case, that It would
come to nothing. The fact that six months
limit was placwl upon remarriage would
be interpreted to mean that the divorce
had not been entirely accomplished until
the expiration of that time, and therefore
the couple In question had not really been
divorced. The ex-judgo did not explain
what the legal status of a couple would be
who went to Ifving together again wLthout
the formnlity of a re-marriage within this
six" months period, or whether a decre"e of
divorce from tfie court would be set aside
by such nn act, but he was quite positive
that no court would ever send a husband
and wife to tho penitentiary under the cir
cumstances of this case.
SucccNMur of nGcittlcnmn'aCcntlcnian.
From the New York Tribune.
In choosing John Addison Porter to be his
private secretary, the president-elect has
not only conferred distinction upon a mem
ber of the journalistic profession, but he
hats likewise shown to the country the Im
portance which he attaches and rightly at
tachesto this office. A post that in the
past has been filled by such men as Colonel
John Hay and the present secretary of war
will strike most people as being not alto
gether Inconsequential. They at least
made it what it ought never to have
ceased to be a post ot great honor and
paramount Influence. It Is within the last
four years only that It has been dragged
down to tho level of a doorkeeper, making
of its occupant little more than a higher
The Tribune, on various occasions, felt
compelled to draw attention-to the strange
evolutions of a gentleman's gentleman
through which Henry T. Thurber seeming
ly passed with joy and rapture unspeaka
ble. It Is difficult, of course, to quarrel
with a man whose sole conception of the
office of secretary to the president consists
in standing, literally and figuratively, be
tween tho idol of his little brain box and
the public, and we shalL not attempt it.
We simply note the fact that the role filled
Mr. Thurber's ambition. His has been a
term of stress and strain anyway, whether
It was devoted to "standing off" imperti
nent -congressmen, turning on the water
works of sympathy and compassion or cut
ting bait and inspecting sentry boxes, nnd
we wish him no ill. In fact, we are almost
disposed to regret his approaching depart-,
ure for the classic shades of Monroe (in
Michigan) and the wild haunts of Detroit,
its celebrated suburb. Whatever his short
comings, ho was always such an "amusin
little cuss," as amusing almost ns the late
lamented Jeames Yellowplush, and he nev
er, no never, failed to furnish us with a
valuable and instructive topic of discussion
In dull ,'days 'Tfneh congress was no longer ,
"on! our "hinds'.; and the woes of a. "great
and good friend" had ceased to be a' draw-ing-.caril.
JCr. Thurber's" successor cannot hope ,to-
fill the niche In our affections about to ,be
ravished.' "instead of aspiring to bec6me a
gentleman's gentleman, Mr. Porter will be
satisfied' to remain asimpleigentleman. He
will excel, we have no doubt, in all those
arts which tend to enhance the value of a
favor granted and seem to deprive the
keenest, disappointment ot its sting. He
will ba courteous, kind and patient. He will
not pese as the guardian of tho temple or
tho keeper of the holy shrine. He' will eat
and live as others do. He will require
something more substantial than an "At
mosphere" to support life with, and ho will
not exact a fetich worship from tho unso
phisticated. Under such circumstances the
president-elect, we feel warranted in say
ing, is to bo congratulated upon securing
the services of John Addison Porter.
Sngnr Trust Investigation.
From tho Chicago Record.
Tho nttempt of the special committee ap
pointed by tho New York stato legislature
to inquire Into the performances of the
sugar trust has been blocked by a remark
ablo failuro of memory, and knowledge on
the part of John E. Searles, the secretary
and treasurer. Mr. Searles, who was sub
poenaed to tell what ho know of the con
solidation, proved to be as Innocent as a
babe. Ho did not seo how the trust in
terfered with competition. He did not
know how the books of tho concern could
be brought into evidence, tho books being
located in the "foreign state" of New Jer
sey. Ho did not remember how certain
moneys were handled, nnd ho did not ex
actly understand what the investigating
commltteo meant by asking the "actual
alue" of certain sugar trust holdings.
In fact, considering that ho Is the sec
retary and treasurer of the concern, Mr.
Searles' all-around ignorance of its busi
ness was pathetic. He Is almost as badly
off as the Havomeyers, who had to inform
the Lexow committee that really they
knew very little about the details of their
business. Mr. Searles seems to know n
littlo less, and the whole result of the
committee's interview with him is a half
hour of nicely phrased English which
sounds well and means nothing.
This is not the flr.st time that tho sugar
tiust has succeeded in escaping tho in
quisitive Inspection of rude committees.
The puzzling thing to the public is that Mr.
Searles should havo admitted that such a
thing as tho American Sugar Refineries
Company is In existence. If the gentleman
had been so minded, ho might have es
caped the whole ordeal by blandly assuring
tho commltteo that he never heard of the
sugar trust and had not tho faintest no
tion of its business affairs.
It seems that a rich corporation that
won't bo investigated can't be Investigated,
and that is all. there Js to it.
Wheel woni n.
From tho New York Herald. '
The Rev. A. C. Dixon is a very rash man
and Is likely to mako himself unpopular
with the fair sex.
Ho said recently, "There aro degrees of
ugliness, but I think the ugliest sight is a
woman on a bicycle."
Tho difficulty with this statement Is thnt
It is not true. If that seems a trivial mat
ter to the clergyman In question It is not
so te the rest of the community.
It has been often remarked, very justly,
that the most graceful riders of the wheel
are women. They almost always sit
straight, not In the humpbacked fashion
ot the men. It may be objected that the
style of dress Is for the moment a bit
unbecoming, but tho processes of evolution
ara at work and that defect will be reme
died In the near future.
Oh, no: a woman on a bike is not the
ugliest sight in tho world, by any means.
Oa the contrary, she is a thing of beauty,
nnd her method of driving the wheel might
be imitated by nine men out of ten with
The Eurnpcnn I'ot Ilolllnpr.
From the Philadelphia Press.
Accident and international jealousy has
again come to the aid, assistance and pro
tection of the great assassin of Yildlz
Kiosk, the sultan of Turkey.
Three days ago it looked "as If Europe
were almost ready to apply coercion and
stop the massacre and misgovernment'"of
the Turkish sultan. Tho plan for reform
had been presented by the ambassadors of
the powers. It had been as good as re
jected. The next step would be for the
powers to "advise" as to the use of coer
cion, as they agreed to do last December
it the sultan would not listen to reason and
reform. France has beerT growing jealous
of England. The Russian czar seemed
ready to rid himself of responsibility for
massacre long continued.
Thcso fond hopes seem. over. Sir
Michael Hicks-Beach, as English finance
minister, has made the announcement in
regard to 'the payment by England of the
Dongola expedition ' in terms 'certain to
embitter and enrage France. Technically,
England Is in Egypt as receiver for the
Egyptian bondholders. Tfie International
court, which it was agreed should pass on
such matters, decided that Egypt could not
pay for the expedition. The English min
istry practically retorts that England will
pay for It nnd take a claim on tho territory.
Nothing could more exasperate France or
render more certain a break In the Euro
As If these were not enough, in the nick
of time Crete breaks out again and all
Greece Is ablaze with desire to seize tho
Island. To this Russia and Austria are
both opposed, neither wishing Greece any
stronger. Here again is another difference
and another difficulty in the way ot agree
ing on the coercion of the sultan, nnd with
out coercion thero will be no reform.
' . The Mr. ilk.
From the Chicago News.
Mr. Frank May, the English financier,
who died yesterday, shared with two in
genious and celebrated Americans a very
singular sort of honor.
.The Americans "did" the Bank of En
gland by means of forged drafts and Mr.
May was popularly supposed to have in
jected into the venerable frame of the same
august Institution certain unmarketable
collaterals nnd securities In the way ot
giving credit to a firm in which his family
Now, to tho common mind, the Bank of
England is so vastly potent and mysterious
a concern thntr for any mere mortal to take
liberties of any kind with It staggers the
Imagination. To say that a man gulled the
Bank of England produces much the same
effect upon the hearer as to say that So-nnd-So
cut a nick out of the British throne
or said, "Hullo, Benny, old boy!" to ex
The Bank of England Is no doubt the
most venerated secular institution in the
world. It is "the bank" tho quintessence
of nil other banks and of commercial and
financial respectability. It doesn't seem
quite right someway, that a mere human
being could "do" the Bank of England. It
shakes one's faith in tne solidity of the
whole commercial structure.
Yet in some important respects "the
bank" is only a small affair. Indeed, con
sidering Its smallness In some respects and
Its immeasurable largeness in others, it is
rather a wonder, that William Waldorf As
tor or some other rich American doesn't
buy it and put a fence around it, so that
not even the Prince of Wales can get in
without an invitation from tho owner.
A Switch to Every Bnrnynril.
From the New York Sun.
The brain of the Populist legislators of,
Kansas continues to work overtime, and
with results which defy competition.
Among not the least valuable ot these re
sults must be mentioned a bill command
ing railroad corporations which havo tl:j
singular financial felicity of trying to rv.n
trains in the great thought stato to stop
"any train at any station where any pas
senger desires.to gct-off." This is an inier
lng proposition, in its way, but It is much
too conservative to'satisfy tho demand 'for
icKisiaiiuii wnicn win jnaKO ine ivansos
railroads exceedingly , urcomfortabloand
the. .Kansas Pqpu)lst. yery icdmfbrtable j in
deed. Tracks ought to, be laid straight1 up
to -every rPopuIlsl's' door, and a special car
with engine In commission should always
be waiting fc-r htm. A track with adequate
yard facilities should be run up to his barn
doo and his live atock, if any, should be
transported to arid from pasture on special
cattle trains. He cannot havo too many
privileges, arid the Kansas railroads ought
to be glad to do more for him. Walt until
the state goes Into tho railroad business,
nnd then you will see at least four parellel
railroads running through every farm, and
nobody paying a cent cf fare.
A Question of Anthems.
Fiom the Chicago Times-Herald.
A bill which Senator McMillan, of Michi
gan, proposes to introduce designates "The
Star-Spangled Banner" as the national an
them. The precise terms of the act have
not been wired from Washington. If the
purpose is to make the "Star-Spangled
Bunrer" compulsory, objectfcns should be
filed at once. Tho public demands a tune
within the reach of all, and the "Star
Spangled Banner" is so high that only tho
most favored sopranos can sing It. Tho
expression of a man with a bass voice ono
octave in range who attempts to surmount
the rocket's red glare is too painful to
arouse the spirit of patriotism in the
bi casts of the humane. But if the bill is
merely designed to prevent Americans
from singing foreign tunes with American
words it ought to bo adopted, with a penal
Meanwhile, the people having the courso
of the senate In mind, the most popular
national anthem will be, "They May Have
Seen Better Days."
Reward the Bencfncror.
From tho Chicago Tribune.
A token of world-wldo esteem should be
presented to tho man who It is alleged has
invented a device for opening soft boiled
eggs in such a way that tho contents can
be transferred to a cup without tho pre
vious burning of tho fingers and tho drop
ping of tho shell with its contents. A soft
boiled egg is always too- hot to handle,
without breaking several scriptural man
dates, and It always insists in escaping
from tho fingers at the critical moment
when its fall means a liberal application of
egg on tho outsido of the shell. Tho only
way known to open ono of these eggs suc
cessfully up to the present has been to
havo someone elso do it, and If any man
has an Invention that will obviate the dif
ficulties he deserves a large reward.
From the Indianapolis Journal.
"This man says you jumped on him with
out provocation or warning," said the
judge, "and beat him scandalously."
"I guess I did-," said the red whiskered
man in the dock, "an I done it because
of tho way his people is opprcssln them
"But the complainant Is an Italian and
Cuba Is fighting with Spain."
The red whiskered man's jaw dropped.
"The Is that so?" he asked. "Glvo it
to me. Jedge, nnd give it to me hard, nnd
when 1 clt out I won't do nothing but
take a course In night school whero I kin
learn the different brands of dagoes."
Wlllins; to He Generous.
From the Chicago Post.
The brunetto felt that somehow the pro
prieties had been violated.
"Do you think It was exactly good form,"
shp asked, "to kiss your brother before
The blonde looked surprised.
"If you wanted to kiss hlra first." she
said, "why didn't you say so? It wouldn't
have made any dlfferenceiwlth me, and I
know Jack never would llavo objected."
Survived the I'le.
From the Baltimore News.
Tho good lady scrutinized him closely.
"Didn't I give you a whole mince pie a
day or two ago?" she inquired in tones
which resembled an amateur cold wave
"Yes, mum," replied the occupant of tho
outcast overcoat, "I'm the same party; but
I've recovered, and If you'll make it plain
bread and milk this time I'll be heartlly
From the Chicago Record.
"It costs $25,000 a year to dres3 a fash
ionable New York woman."
"Is that tho reason so many ot them go
around only half clothed?"
As to Peffer.
Slowly and sadly he'll pull down his vest
When tho 4th of March has found him.
And gloomily start for the boundless West
With his whiskers wrapped around him.
OF CCHHE.NT INTEREST.
In the five months of last year from May
to September. Inclusive. 122 accidents duo
to the falling of trolley and other electric
wires occurred in the United States. Eleven
of these. In which trolley wires fell, were
fatal, twelve persons losing their lives by
this means. Thirty-one persons were In
jured in twenty-eight similar accidents ahd
twenty-four horses' were killed In eighteen
others. Nine persons were killed by tho
fall of nino electric wires, twenty-seven
persons were injured in twenty-two similar
mishaps and seven horses lost their lives.
At this rate the total for the year would,
so the Riillroad Gazette figures out. bo
greater than the total deaths caused by
steam railway accidents.
An Atlanta pnper reports an epidemic ot
diphtheria among tho dogs of th.tt city.
The disease 13 said to be in a virulent form
and to bo killing the animals off rapidly,
the veterinary surgeons being unable to
effect a cure. The first symptoms of tho
approaching illness are sluggishness and
ab.-.cnt mlndedness. The happy wag of the
tall gradually gets weaker and weaker, and
Is executed In a perfunctory and mechanical
way. Tears fill the eyes of the dog, and
he wears a troubled, anxious expression,
the tonguo hangs red and swollen from
tho mouth, und his fever runs high. In
s:eii or eight days, unless a cure is ef
fected, tho dog's system k, worn out from
exhaustion, and he dies.
That feature of the times, the pneumatic
tire, was first thought ot way back in
1M3. when an Englishman named Thomp
son took out patents in England and
America for an invention which was prac
tically the double tube tire of to-d.iy. He
made experiments in Regent's park with
a vehicle weighing over 1.000 pound3, using
first ordinary steel tires and afterward
pr.ucmatlc tires, and conclusively proved
that with the steel tires a force of forty
one pounds was required to draw the ve
hicle over a hard road, while a force ot a
littlo more than tweaty-five pounds sufficed
when the pneumatic tires were used.
A London paper congratulates tho theatcr
gotis of thft United States on their gcod
manners. In London, as in Paris and other
capitals, an audience makes a noke when
It Is. not pleased, and often hisses down a
play, while, as tho English writer was sur
prised to find, an American audience Is
content to express its disapprobation by
leaving the house. The polite frost which
Wiled "Tha Seats of the Mighty." with
Eterbohm Treo as the star, was the im
mediate source of this surprising revelation
ot trans-Atlantic polish.
Boston is the largest consumer of snuff"
in tho United States. They use it on the
sly there. A manufacturer from Wultham
said to a newspaper man the other day
that ail tho spare timo of his clerks was
employed in doing up in 5 and 10 cent pack
ages snuff for tho factory girls, who
formed in a long line every Saturday night,
when paid off, and purchased a week's sup
ply. There are four great snuff factories
in tho United States, whose annual output
is 13,000,000 pounds. Twenty years ago only
3,000,000 pounds were manufactured.
The making of anagrams from proper
name3 has occupied tho timo ot many in
genious persons. ot leisure, and such exam
ples as "a just master" from the names ot
James Stuart, "honor est a Nllo" from
Horatio Nelson, "flit on, cheering angel"
from Florence Nightingale, have pleased
many, but the evolution of "Grab, retain
it" from Great Britain, for which somo un
known genius Is responsible, is, the Chicago
Chronicle thinks, entitled' to first placo at
the present time.
Bishop Arnett. of the African Methodist
Episcopal church, i3 on his way to Wash
ington to arrange for the.entertainment ot
a committee appointed to present to Major
McKinlcy a Biblo for use In tho inaugural
ceremonies. The book, a gift from tho Af
rican Methodist Episcopal church, lJ to bo
handsomely bound, lined with silk, and to
have on the cover a gold shield, with tho
president's name, and that of the donor.
It wilL be encased in a box .made ot native
Ohio wood and gold mounted.
That littlo girl born to Lieutenant and
Mrs." Peary, away up In tho Arctic regions,
is now old enough to talk, nnd chatters
away at a great rate. The other day her
parents were preparing to attend p. din
ner at tho homo of Chester S. Lord, of tho
Sun, says a New York writer, when Chat
terbox asked: "Where are you going,
mamma?" "Wo dine with Mr. and Mrs.
Lord," was tho answer. "Why, mamma,"
said Chatterbox, In amaze, "you never
told mo ho was married."
At tho annna! ball of the French cooks
of New York atMadison Square garden.,
not only are nil tho best known chefs ot tho
city present, but their thousand and ono
friends nnd'admlrers, as well. Some amaz
ing exhibits aro made. Many of them are
apparently ornamental, but all designed
for inner comfort. The titles of somo ot
the marvelous creations for gourmets ore
rather unusual. For instance, "Artillery
of tho United Ptntes," and "Spain's Night
mare." M. Osires, of Paris, who recently bought
the castle ot Malmaison, is having- overy
room in it carefully restored. Among tho
best known rooms aro Napoleon's study.
billiard room and drawing room, and tha
room whero tho Empress Josephine died.
La Petito Malmaison, whero Josephine had
her sreenhouses. has already been restore!
by the Count do Barrl, brother of tho kins
The obituary addresses delivered upon tha
occasion of tho death of a member of con
gress cost the government a good deal of
money. Usually 12,000 copies are print
ed, with a steel plate portrait of tha
deceased, fifty of which, bound In full mo
rocco with gilt edges, are for tho family of
the dead congressman. The cost of obitu
ary volumes in the Fif ty-flrst congress waa
According to tho official statistics Just
published ot the latest census in Germany,
the population numbered S2,27D,S0t on De
cember 2. 1S93. or 2,831,431 more than at tha
previous census in 1M0. Thi3 increase ot
more than 5 per cent la five years Is great
er than in almost any other country, the
population of which is not fed by Immigra
tion. Aubrey Beardslcy's "Book of Fifty Draw
ings.", Just published, is said to Tie appall
ing In its cleverness, and many of tho
drawings aro likely to provoko unlimited
admiration, though others are "so offen
sive in their deliberate ugliness and so
broad In their obsccno realism that It la
impossible to look through them without a
A "Valentino dinner" is to bo given orx
Saturday next at tho Windsor, in New
Ttork, by tho Woman's Pres3 Club. It will
be an unusually festivo occasion, as "gen
tlemen may bo Invited." Original valen
tines, illustrated or otherwise, are to bo
contributtd by all members and addressed
to thu club, to.guests or to individual mem
ber?. Tho statement ha3 been made on hlch
authority that more poetry is written bv
tho Inhabitants of Indiana than by thoso
of any other state in the union. A literart
periodical finds an explanation for Hits
curious phenomenon in the fact that James
Whltcotnb Rjley Is a Hooslcr.
He Was There.
From the Chicago Tribune.
"Is there a man in this room '
The voice of the young woman rang out
nppeallngly. and the twenty-tive men at
the desks in the large business office of
tho establishment started from their seats.
"Is there a man in thl3 room." she re
peated, "who will oblige me, by tuckins
thcso big sleeves ot mine Into my coat for
me? I havo got them partly In and now
I can't move my armssithcr way!"
The customer In trouble was not only
young but comely, nnd the twenty-tlvo men
who had started from their seats, rose aa
one man anu went to her relict.