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The times and democrat. (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, October 11, 1883, Image 1

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? BY
H
J. L. Sis & S. R.
?. vk w. xi. Auuiuuiiuiu];,
Editous and PaoraizrQsa,
SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
'^eyasr.
"'-.months.r.
ADVERTISING SATES.
?irst insertion, per square..
'i?bee<flicaitin>*rtfon. 6?
Notices of meetings, obituaries' und trib
utes of respect, same rates per square as or
dinary advertisements.
Special contracts made with largo adver
Isars, with liberal d^dactions o,a above
rates..
Special notices in local column, fifteen
cents per line.
His ami,
f eyw an lonely. I wont ten
What h?fl their loneliness rx&y shov
? braided hair becomes her wall,
In odor Hkr>?but oh, no! rot
That is my soared?red or brc vn,
It is the prettiesthair in town I
?ho wulks with, such a dainty charr
Butrwhethar she be Erh?rt or tan,
Of rounded limb or sylph-like form,
Her ngure suite mo?that is fill 1
Nor do I choose tho world to tnow
HraTJc her dress, or calico.
My precious girl is worth her weight,
Not in rough gold, bet diamonds fine,
And whether that be small or great
I leave the reader to divine.
Ask me to guage nor solid worth
She would outweigh tho wholo round earth 1
To rhyme her praise is such delight
That I must "keep it; to myself,
Lest one should better verses mite
And lay rne gently on the sbf?X
2 cm not jealcus; buty?u see
This rharrnhjg-gfrl?belongs to ma. ?
?M. S. Bridges, in the Continent.
A BANK ROBKE?Y.
Tho littlo city of Linton, a place re
markable for thesobriety, industry and
morality of its people, is just emerging
H&from a thrilling sceno which shook the
whole community with nervous excite
H&ment, and that came near to destroy
' ing the fire of faith in humanity which
has so long burned brightly in the
bosoms of those easy-going, honest
countryfolk.
Tho journey I have just completed
was one of haste, and my s-tay in Lin
Bjton was much shorter than I had hoped
it might be; but I wat there suffi
ciently long to witness the closing
scenes of a remarkable trial, and one
that will' bo long remembered by the
people of that quiet town, and be
talked of as the city's tragedy.
The Linton bank is one of the inter
. esting institutions not only of Linton,
but of the whole country iit which itis
situated. It has long been noted for
- its financial stability, and its officers
and clerks have many years borne the
name, of "Linton's Conservatives,"
which was given them for their perfect
- nonesty and firm adherence' to strict
'.: banking principles.
V- One of my firft movements after I
Kfchad arrived and partaken of a whoie
. some noonday meal was to visit the
Hipank for tho purpose of,having a check
cashed.
As the teller handed me a small
package of'gre?nbacks, I obser ved that
my old friend; President Goodnow, who
was sitting near the huge doors of the
iron vault, was looking me sharply in
tho fa~e. He seemed t ^ have observed
;-. --"that the- new iron and wire railing
separating the teller's corner from tho
outer part of tho room had strongly,
attracted my", attention, and from my
looks judged that X was noting thy.
changed, appearance ot.Jjf?&jknC
^theref
' not a strar.
teller's face"was a strango'o'Ke to me,
and that, with the new railing and
vorowork, had created within me a
feeling of inquisitiYeness which I
could not hida
The bank president arose from hi>
chair, raised his giasses from his eyes,
and walked toward the railing which
sep 'rated us. He soon recognized me,
and I was greeted in his usually warm
and friendly style.
" I saw you were interested to nn
*? dastand why all these radical changes
in our little bank," said Mr. Goodnow,
,* and, from the manner in which y< u
looked at the strange faceat the teller's
' desk, and tho wirework surrounding
HKit, I concluded at once that you were
not a stranger to us."
"Yes," said L " it looked so strange
to me that I almost doubted for a mo
ment that I was in the place that I
had supposed it to ba But I got a
glimpse of your familiar face and my
^,/d?ubte were dispelled. Tell me, Mr.
Goodnow," I continue!, "what is the
Es'cause of this change?"
"Yes, I will," replied the old gen
- tieman, in tones which assured me
:'. that his tender sympathies were
Bpairoused on the subject. " I will tell
? you the circumstances a3 far as they
I nave gonV he said, with deip feeling,
"and I can assure you that it is a sad
, - story you shall hear. But, as we talk,
I will ask you to walk with me. I
must be at the court-room promptly at
two."
"Indeed," Mr. Goodnow," I an:
Liiswered, "it will be a plea-ure to ac
; company you. I will most happily
' accept your invitation."
"Poor John Earnest is in jail for
theft. I would almost as easily expect
to be there myself as to see John
Earnest in jail." I could scarcely have
believed it had the fa ts not come be
fore my own eyes, and even now it
almost seems as though it must bo a
dream." The tones in which these
words were uttered were sufficient to
tell me of deep sadness in the old
man's heart as he was speaking.
" Yes," Mr. Goodnow continued, John
is in jail, and his poor widow mother
is almost crushed with grief. John
was her only support, her idol and her
pet. She is a noble woman, a true
mother, I can tell you, and even to
this day, in spite of all the evidence
?^x^hich has been produced, she declares
that John is innocent."
" But what are the charges against
? him, Mr. Goodnow? Do I understand
that John Earnest, that faithful, in
telligent man, who has served you so
long and so well, is now in jail for
theft?"
"He is," was the reply. "He is
charged with having stolen a package
of money containing $5,000 from our
bank."
"Is it possible? And what are the
circumstances, pray let me know ?"
"The circumstances," said my friend,
"are that a package containing $5,000
> ; . was missed from our bank, and we
have never been able to account for
its disappearance upon any theory or
supposition, save that John must have
known what became of it He de
clares, of course, that he does not,- but
all the circumstances point so strongly
to his.guilt that I am in great doubt
.It was on, a busy Saturday that the
shortage" occurred?or, at least, so far
as any of U3 know. In closing busi
ness atr the bank Saturday afternoon
John asked our cashier, Mr. Westman,
; if he had put away a package of
I money from the teller's desk. Mr.
Westman said he had not, and John
._. -carefully looked over his cash again,
and finally packed it up and put it in
the vault. He checked over his cash
entries and balanced his books as if
all were right. Sunday morning Mr.
Westman called for me and asked if I
would go with him to the bank. I
consented, and when inside the bank
Mr. Westman said he wanted to ex
amine John's cash. We made a care
ful count and compared the money
with the hook, and found the cash
?was an even $5,000 short. We said
nothing about it until Monday morn
VOL. XII.
ings when we met John at the
bank. Mr. Westmau then quietly
asked . him if he had balanced
his cash on Saturday. His faco was
slightly flushed, and he said that he
had balanced the cash book, but that
his cash was short and he did not stop
tosee what the trouble was. He said
it was short $5,000 as he supposed,
but that he expected a careful exami
nation on Monday would show where
the mistake was. Then followed an
examination and a re-examination, and
still another trial at finding the lost
money. All attempts were fruitless,
and an expert was employed. The ex
pert corroborated the other trials, and
reported to the board that there could
be no doubt about it, that John Earn
i est was positively short in his cash to
the amont^a|v$5,000. The matter
was placed in the hands of detectives,
and John was arrested. It was dis
covered that soon after the money
was missed -John paid off a
mortgage on his mother's house,
and that fact gave the detectives?
as they thought?a direct clew to his
guilt. When John was arrested his
bondsmen came forward and offered to
make good the loss, but John positive
ly declined and refused to allow that
to be done. He declared his inno
cence, and said he could prove where
the money came from to pay off the
mortgage. He would rather suffer
imprisonment and a trial than to'have
his bondsmen pay for what he had not
stolen, and thereby be considered a
thief. He demanded a trial. This is
probably his last day in court, and I
see no chance whatever for the poor
boy to escape the full penalty of the
law. I admit being greatly in doubt
about his guilt, and it will be a terri
ble blow upon me to see John Earnest
taken to prison. It would be almost
as hard as to see my own child taken
there." And with these words the old
gentleman tremblingly shook his white
locks and wiped his moistened eyes.
. We were now at the court-houso
steps, and we slowly ascended to the
commodious court-room. An immense
throng had gathered around the build
ing, and when we entered the court
room we found it completely packed,
and the doors guarded to prevent
iurther ingress of the crowd. My
companion passed me in, and led the
way down the aisle to a seat in the
space reserved for counsel and
witnesses. A few minutes later the
prisoner came in under escort of a
deputy sheriff. The face was natural,
and was the one I had expected to see
at the counter where I went to get my
check cashed. The prisoner lookel
pale, however, from the severe trouble
he had evidently been passing through.
But his clear skin, soft, glossy, dark
hair, bright eyes and face beaming
with intelligence and good nature all
helped to inspire his friends with
confidence in his innocence. It waa a
picture for an artist as. every eye was
turned toward the smooth-faced young
prisoner. The old gentleman lamed
over to m<3, and " in a whisper sail, as
'She tears came to his eyes: "Isn't it
a sorrowful picture ? Isn't he the type
of a noble man ? And my poor daugh
ter?she was deeply in love with him.
I wouldn't have had it happen for half
I'm worth."
Before I could ask any question,
though I was now more thoroughly
than before awakened in the case, the
judge tock his seat, tho jury were es
corted to thefr box, and the court was
called to order. Just then a small boy
came tiptoeing through the crowd and
beckoned to the deputy sheriff. I
beard him say: "Here's a message for
Mr. Earnest"
The telegram was placed in the
prisoner's hands. He nervously opened
the wrapper, read it, and passed it to
his counsel. The attorney for the
State had just arisen and asked to re
call the expert who had examined the
books. The request was granted. A
series of what seemed to me quite un
important questions were asked and
answered. The witness was excused,
and just as the State attorney was
about to arise the counsel for the pris
oner sprang to his feet and addressed
the court:
" May it pleaso your honor, I hold in
my hand material testimony in this
case. It is a telegram from an im
portant witness, who will bo here to
morrow to testify in the prisoner's be
half. I desire to ask your honor for a
?tay of proceedings until .the witnevss
arrives. If there be no objection I
shall be thankful for the privilege of
reading the telegram." ? ?
The judge informed the attorney
that he could fir-t i-how the paper to
the attorney for- the State, and if he
did not object it could then be read.
This was done; consent was given,
and the telegram, dated St. Louis, was
read as follows:
"John Eabneh, Linton: Deltyei by ac
cident. Will bo there to-morrow to prove
yonr innoceace and corroborate yonr state
ment of my bequemt Take courage; all
shall be we'l. Peteb Fouieh."
After the telegram had been road
the State attorney aroso and addressed
the court:
" I see no reason, your honor, why
this trial should be delayed on the
strength of this telegram. Theie is no
evidence to show that it is genuine,
and if that pdnt be admitted there is
no evidence to show that the testi
mony to be thus secured will establish
the innocence of the prisoner. Even
though it be proved that the author of
the telegram is the uncle of the pris
oner, as is alleged, and that he will be
able to satisfactorily prove how the
prisoner came with the money to pay
off the mortgage, that will remove only
one of the strong circumstances that
go to prove his guilt. There are other
strong circumstances, as your honor is
aware, upon which he may be con
victed. I trust, your honor, that this
shall not be deemed of sufficient im
portance to grant a postponement of
this case."
The able counsel for the prisoner
then followed with an eloquent argu
ment in favor of a postponement.
While he was talking a beautiful young
lady entered the court-room. She was
at once the observed of all observers,
and an almost deathlike silence stole
over the immense audience as she
carefully, though evidently under great
excitement, followed an officer of the
court until they reached the railing
within which sat the counsel and wit
nesses.
Assoon as the young lady's pres
ence was observed by my. elderly com
panion he aroS3 quickly and hastened
toward her, showing signs of surprise
to see her there. The two held a short
whispered conversation, the young lady
pointing to a small package which she
held in her hand. My elderly friend
evinced by his movements, excitement
He opened the little gats leading
through the railing, the young lady
stepped inside and took a seat near the
counsel for the prisoner.
When the lawyer had finished his re
marks he turned round ao^ bowed
giacefully to the young lady, and they
shook hands. A few whispers passed
Col M Glover Jttn |. >gg
c
between them, and the attorney, amis
the breathless suspense ? of the spects -
tors, and while, every eye in the room
was upon the person who last entered,
arose and said: "If your honor please,
and with the consent of the learned
counsel for the State, while I was
speaking, an important witness in this
.case entered this room. That witness
Is now here willing to testify, and I
beg the privilege of introducing further
testimony.''
At this the attorney for the State
arose and said: "I have no objection,
your honor, to receiving any testimony
which is important to a fair and im
partial trial of the accused. I consent
to the gentleman's request -of course,
upon his honor that the testimony is
important and material"
"IcallMs3 IJettie Goodnow," the
prisoner's attorney said.
The judge bowed very politely as the
young lady arose, and he said: " Miss
Goodnow, you will please take this
chair," pointing to the witness stand.
The directions were obeyed, and the
oath administered. The usual ques
tiona as to acquaintance with the case
and the prisoner followed.
Then came the question : Will you.
please inform the court and the jury
as to the nature of the package you
hold in your hand, Miss Goodnow?"
The witness carefully unfolded the
package as she replied: "This is the
package of money, sir, which was
taken fronrthe Lintern bank on Satur
day.the 10th day oflast month-$5,000!"
and she held it up that the court might
get a view of it.
" From whom, or where, did you get
this money, Miss Goodnow ?" demanded
the counsel
" I found it to-day at the house of
Mr. Henry Black, and among a bundle
of papers belonging to George West
man, the brother of Cashier Westman,
of Linton bank I"
This reply came like a thunderbolt
from heaven, and the excitement which
followed was so great that the court
rapped vigorously upon his desk before
order could be restored.
The counsel for the accused stepped
forward., and, taking the package of
money, placed it before the court, say
ing: "if your honor please, we de
sire to offer this package of money as
a part of our evidence in the case."
A paper held in the young lady's
hand was a letter from George "West-,
man addressed to her, which gave a
clue to the true history of the case.
Young Westman was the brother of
the cashier. He was in love with'
Nettie Goodnow, the daughter of
President Goodnow, and knowing that
John Earnest was the young lady's
favorite, he planned and carried out a
scheme to steal the money in such a
way that suspicion would rest upon
the young teller, andjthrough the dis
grace thus produced the attachment
between the couple would be broken
off. The letter in the young lady's
hand was from Georga^e&fc';.
If easing to ,her .his criu:
vrii'.-r-. rasend, o*gg;
her to get it ? an.I hot inform on him.
It contained direful threats if she
fhould dare to reveal the truth or re
fuse him the money.
As scon as the letter bad been exam
ined by the counsel ai; agreement was
made :for a postponement. Young
Earnest allowed his friends to give
bonds for his appearance the next day,
and there was not a dry eye in the
court-room when the accused man
started toward the door and was
stopped by the sweet voice of the
young lady who approached him with
an extended hand, sympathetically say
ing: "Wehave never lost confidence
in your honesty, John. You shall be
free to-morrow."
The remainder of my story can be
as easily imagined as told. John Earn
est is again teller of Linton bank.
! Cashier Westman is one of his best
friends. The cash is no longer short,
and though George Westman is not to
I be found, his honorable brother has
I paid all the costs in iho suit, and no
charges have been preferred against
the guilty person. I snail not be sur-1
prised to receive, ere long, cards in
viting me to witness an interesting
ceremony, which, I understand, is to
take place at the residence of President
Goodnow.?American Counting-Room,
Pr paring Sealskins.
In a small, gloomy room at the top
of a dingy building in a downtown
street in .New York eight girls sat
working stolidly. -The.light seemed
dusty and hot as it shone dimly through
the soot-incrusted window panes, and
the rumble of machinery below jarred
the iloors incessantly. The girls sat in
little groups. They were shabbily
clad, though there were touches of
bright color here and there, and their
faces all looked pinched and careworn.
Their backs were b^nt in a weary way
as they leant over the work. Each girl
held a sealskin stretched across her
lap, and picked at it- with great rapid
ity. Their hands were quite black.'
They seldom spoke, and when a
stranger entered they looked at him
listlessly for a moment, and then
dropped their eyes on their work again.
"They are picking the long black
hairs out of the skin," said the fore
man, rubbing his hand over one of the
glossy pieces of fur. "We get all of
our sealskins from London, where they
are taken direct from the arctic regions.'
.Sealskins cannot be colored outside of
England. They not only have a pe
culiar process there, but the climatic
influences result in better coloring
than can be done here. So the skins
go to England first. After they have
been colored they are shipped all over
the world and made into sacks, dol
mans, muffs, gloves and hats when
they arrive at their destination."
" Why are the long black hairs you
speak of not taken out in London?"
" Well, I don't know that there is
any particular reason except the
economical one. The London concerns
charge quite heavily for the work, and
the result is we prefer to do it here
where it doesn't cost us much. It
does not require highly skilled labor,
The black hairs you see' are not so
very much longer than the rest of the
fur. There is a difference of perhaps
a sixteenth of an inch. By blowing
against the grain of the fur the black
hairs can all be made to stand out"
" How many hours do thegirls ork
a day?"
"They come at 7 o'clock and leave at
six. They are paid fair wages. Of
course they do not make their fortunes,
but still the pay is fair."
"Monotonous work?"
"Oh, it's overpoweringly so," said
the chatty foreman, shrugging his
shoulders impatiently. "The incessant
picking almost drives me mad at times;
but then, I suppose it's worse for the
girls." _ v
James Sherman, of Lafayette, N.
Y., has a brook trout thirty-two years
old. It is kept in a well, has lost its
spots and looks aged and faded, but is
apparently as hearty as Washington's
body servant
)KANGEBUEG, S.
HUM?BO?S SKETCHES.
Ittlvsed the mouse.
Mrs. Jamieson is a Brooklyn lady,
ttnd she had a very sore finger, caused
by striking the wrong nail while lay
ing carpets. She had procured the
ringer of an old kid glove and used it
for a finger-stall. Thereby hangs a.
tale.
"While cleaning house the other day
she disturbed a mouse and it ran into
one of the bureau drawers which was
lying cn the Soor. Mrs. Jamieson is
not a thnid woman by any means, but,
wonian-like, she called for her husband.
He was shaving himself, and he came
in with his face covered with lather. '
'"Smatter?" he asked, with his
mouth full of soap.
" There's a mouse in that drawer,
and I want you to help me kill it," she
answered.
Mr. Jamieson isn't at all fond of
mice, and he'd rather go without them
than pay an exorbitant rate for them,
but he didn't want to appear afraid, so
he went out into the kitchen and pro
cured little Tommy's baseball bat. He
climbed up on top of the bureau, and
told Mrs. J. to 4i fetch on her mice."
" I'll lift the clothes out," she said,
"and when the mouse jumps you
squash him."
She grabbed the clothes out one by
one, and finally Jamieson saw the
mouse jump. Then he struck at
it, upset the bureau and went through
the looking-glass, while Mrs. J. went
into the kitchen to howl.
They don't commune at the same
table now, for what Jamieson mistook
for the mouse was the finger stall on
Mrs. J.'s finger.
Honors at Wholesale.
It is said that while James Keene,
generally referred to by the boys as
Jim Keene, was a resident ot the
Pacific coast, a California farmer burst
in upon him one day with :
" Say, Kurnel, my wife has got a
bran-new baby, and we've named it
Jim Keene Thompson."
" Y-e-s," slowly answered the gentle
man, as he passed over a twenty
dollar gold piece.
In about an hour another man from
the same neighborhood entered with
the salutation:
"Say, Keene, what do you think?
We have built a church up our way
and named it the Jim Keene chapel.
Can't you come down with a shiner
or two?"
" Well, I suppose I'll, have to,"
replied Keene as he shelled out a ten
dollar piece.
Thirty minutes had scarcely passed
when in came a third man with :
"Good-morning, judge. We are
building a sehoolhouse ov?r the creek
to be called the Jim Keene school.
Want to contribute ? ??
.1 " Y-e-s^was lue reply, as a five was
passed <>- .
..& over twea^-mihutes be
.ourth man bustled in and
called out:
" Keene, I discovered a new canon
up the country the other day, and I
dedicated it to you."
" Look here," said the gentleman, as
he turned in his chair; "I want you to
go-back and hunt up all the new ba
bies, schoolhouses, trotting horses/, an
ons, lunatic asylums, burying grounds
and berry-patches in your county which
are to be dim Keened, and come back
here and give me the lot at wholesale,
for I'm blamed if I'm going to fool
with the retail, business any longer.
Good-day, sir!"?Wall Street News.
A Mother'!! Disappointment.
A Detroit lawyer who had business
in one of the northern counties a short
time since put in a night at a farm
house. It was a long structure con
taining two rooms, and such furniture
as pioneers get along with. The family
consisted of an old man, his wife and a
girl of twenty, who was slashing
around barefooted and had a fist like a
slugger. After supper the old woman
took a seat.in front of the lawyer and
suddenly asked:
"Do you wear sich fine duds all the
time?"
" All the time, madame."
"Is that a real diamond in your
Bhirt?"
"It is."
"And I heard you tell the old man
you had a horse and buggy at home?"
" Yes, ma'am."
" And that watch and chain are real
gold, I suppose?"
"Yes, the real stuff."
"Cost as much as $200?"
"Yes, over $300."
" My stars I AV'hy, you must get as
much as $40 a month and board !" she
gasped.
" Madame, I sometimes make $50 per
day," he placidly replied.
" Shoo! Why, you arc worth a
thousand dollars!"
"Yes, ten times that."
"Stars and stars I"
There was an interval of silence as
she recovered from her amazement.
Then she tiptoed to the corner of the
house to see if there were any eaves
droppers. Coming back she walked up
to the lawyer and dropped her voice to
a whisper and said:
" Say We've bin saving Sally these
last two years for the boss of a saw
mill four miles up the creek, but if you
are struck on her and she is struck on
you, I'll run the old man six miles
through the brush after a preacher to
do the splicing P
The lawyer had to decline on the
grounds of having a wife in Detroit,
and the old woman felt so bad that the
husband had to rise at midnight and
make her a mustard plaster.?Free
Press.
The Mux-K ?n Club.
" If Clarence de MellvilJe Bung3 am
present wid us to-night. I should like
to spoke to him,'' said Brother Gard
ner as the meeting opened.
Brother llungs was on the back row
with a looking-glass in his hands and
a new brand of hair-oil on his hair.
He rose up with a scrape and a bow,
made a great spread of a blue silk
handkerchief, and finally stood before
the president's desk.
"Brudder Bungs," resumed the old
man, " I reckon you am de purtiest
member of de Lime-Kiln club. You
puts ile on yer ha'r, wax on yer mus
tache, an' de perfume on yer clothes
reminds me of de wild roses of Var
ginny. Yes, you am <ie purtiest an'
sweetest one of de lot."
"Yes. sah." replied the brother,
while his face betrayed the fact that
he was tickled half to death.
" But ?by de way, Brudder Bungs,
what am your present bizness?"
"I'ze out of a job jist now, sab."
? When you work how much do you
aim?"
"As high as seben dollars a week,
sah."
' .list so. Am dat suit o' clothes a 1
paid fur?"
"No, sah." I
c, THURSDAY, 0
f -'An' you am how many weeks be
nlnd on yer board?"
"Not ober six, sah."
"An' you owe this lodge three dol
lars due3?"
" Yes, sah."
"An' you owe members here as
much as twenty dollars fur borrowed
money."
"Ize borrowed some, sah."
'?'Brudder Bungs, Fze had some
'sperience wid purty men, an'-1 nebbsr
seed one yet who wasn't a fraud on de
word manhood. "When a man sots out
to be purty all de hoss sense leaves his
head. No man kin labor and he purty
too. He darfo lets work alone. He
beats his board, his tailor, his shoe
maker, an' all his friends. He looks
killin', an' smells like a- cologne fac
tory, but he doan' pay up. Ebery
smile beats somebody outer twenty-five
cents, an' ebery giggle costs somebody
half a dollar. I'ze had/ my eye on you
fur some time." ;
"Yes, sah."
"Six months ago you had steady
work, good pay, respectable clothes an'
was outer debt., You sot out to be
purty, an' to-day you wouldn't sell fur
'naff to pay yer debts. You smell
awful nice, but you owe a twenty
six-dollar board bill. Your ha'r carls
beautifully, but de' tailor am
whistling fur his money fur dat
suit. Your form am elegant, but
you has borrowed money until no
one will lend you anoder cent. You
smile like a buttercup an' raise yer hat
like a Chesterfield, but yer butes ain't
paid fur I"
"Ize gwine to squar^up, sah."
v Maybe you is, Brudder Bungs, but
it am too late, so fur as dis club am
consarned. Secretary
"Yes, sah."
" Scratch de name of Brudder Clar
ence de Melville Bungs, off de roll I"
"She's dun scratched; sah."
" Janitor 1"
"Yes, sab."
" Escort dis pusson fo de alley doah 1
He am too purty to remain heahwid
us. He am gwine out owin' us fur
dues, an'?wall, nebber mind."
There was no need to post the janitor.
Every one could picture him as he
cleared a space to swing his right leg,
and if anybody doubted.that Clarence
de Melvilie Bung3 was. " lifted" into
the alley he had only to listen to the
labored breathing of the janitor a3 he
returned to his &ea.t.?:lZree'Press.
History of FlsCUng.
Fishing was a far earlier mode of
supporting human life than agricul
ture. However far back in the stream
of terrestrial events we^'may suppose
it allowable to date mags appearance
on the scene, still he -?st have been
preceded by fish. The nprs, lakes and
seas, when he first looh? upon them,
must have been peopleiwery much as
they are at this day. ?nere Avas as
great, a variety of spe&fij* and proba
viduals in some, of tlieHKecies. And,
as a savage population rlustbe always
sparse, and in any localy few in num
ber, their supply of fjodfrom this
source could only have leenlimited by
their inability to capture it. What
the wild game of the instand of the
open plains were to the Inland hunting
tribes, the fish of the fwsh and of the
salt water were to the riverine and the
maritime tribes. Between these early
days and the first beginnings of agri
culture vast periods of time must have
elapsed. First, because in these, and
more or less in all latitudes, nature
offered to man no plant that in its un
improved state was worth cultivating.
The suitable form had to be evolved by
long processes of observation. This is
why we know nothing of the parentage
of wheat, barley,' oats, rye, beans or
maize, and why the tropical breadfruit,
plantain, banana and sugar-cane have
lost the power of producing seed, and
so of reproducing themselves; this
must have been a result of long ages
of huma. Section. Nothing of the
kind had je done for fish. There it
was as fit for human food on the first
day that man stood on the river bank
or the seashore as it is at this day.
Agriculture also required implements
to clear and stir the ground, and to
gather in the crops with, and these
implements we know were the result
of a long series of discoveries, im
provements and advances. Primeval
man, therefore, as we now read his
history, could not have lived by or
known anything of agriculture. Nor
could he have lived by wild fruits, for
they are not continuous throughout
the year. They have their season, and
that a brief one. He must then have
lived by hunting and fishing, and, of
the two, fishing would be the most
continuous and unfailing thruughout
the changing seasons, the most valua
ble of all qualities for those ill-supplied
times. It would not be more dillicult
to hook, and spear, and net, and trap
fish, and to gather mollusks from the
rocks and sand banks, than to trap or
pierce with arrows wild game. Our
immediate comparison, however, is
with agriculture; and we may be sure
that not in it were the foundations of
society laid, but in hunting and fish
ing, ana that of these two, as the great
carnivors at first had possession of the
forest and plain against intruding man,
fishing was the main primeval occupa
tion and means of subsistence.?Mac
millan.
A Do? That Takes Up a Collection.
The Scotch colley dog Help, which
collects funds in almost every part of
the kingdom for the orphan fund of
the Amalgamated Society of Railway
Servants, has just returned to his
headquarters at the chief ollice of the
society, City road, from a trip to France,
where he has been getting money
for the orphans of railway men. In
troduced' by Mr. Iiraggett, chief ollicer
of the steamship Brittany, to the vice
conBul at Dieppe, the "Railway Dcg
of England " received in a short time
188 francs; on his journey back to
England Help got 17s. 9d. and 26
francs while at Newhaven, and on
board the steamer he collected ?3 Is.
6d. The general secretary of the so
ciety, Mr. E. Harford, has now on
hand numerous invitations to the ani
ma', distributed over the leading rail
way systems. Help, trained by Mr.
John Climpson, guard of the night
boat train on the London, Brighton
and South Coast railway, is expected
to be the me iium of collecting some
hundreds of pounds for the orphan fund
during the present year,?London
Queen.
Used to It. ?
"Oh, Bennie, you na ighty, naughty
boy," exclaimed mamma, "to throw
papa's watch down the cistern I"
u Didn't hurt it," replied Bennie,
stoutly; "I heard papa tell Uncle Ed
ward ho had it in soak nearly all last
summer."?Burde.tte.
One thing is CTta'n, the man who
perpetrated, "There's nothing like
leather," had never tried to' eat tripe.
CTOBEK 11, 1883.
HUNTING ORANG-OUTANGS.
Incidents ofaChaoo In Borneo?Char acter
istics or the " Jnnglc.Mon."
Mr. William T. Hornaday, of the
National museum at Washington, said
to a Post reporter : "I was sent out in
1878 by Professor Ward, of Rochester,
on a tour around the world to make
natural history collections. One of
the most important objects of the
journey was to secure specimens of the
orang-outang. We could not buy skins
or skeletons anywhere, and there was
no way to get them except to go after
them. I had no experience whatever
in orang-outang hunting, nor could I
obtain any information on the subject
before starting. Nobody seemed to
know whether they were abundant or
scarce, but it was certain that they had
been obtained in Borneo and Sumatra.
Where they were once, I thought, they
are likely to be found again ; and so in
August I landed at the first-named
island. I went to the territory of Sara
wak on the northwest coast, and there
I heard that the objects of my search
were to be found in the valley of the
Sodong river. For this place I started,
fully equipped to live in the jungle for
an indefinite length of time. Accom
panied by two servants I penetrated
the interior. We made inquiries of
the natives, and were told that the
orang-outangs were to be found only in
the fruit season, which had then been
over some months, and they seemed
to have gone into the depths
of the forest. So we hunted over
the mountains and along the streams,
but without success, and finally came
to the conclusion that we would have
to give up. At that juncture two
natives came down a little tributary of
the river and said that they had seen
mias, which is the common name for
these creatures, and that, if I went up
to their village and stayed a week or
two, I might be able to kill three or
four. I packed up my things, got in
my boat, and went up there. On the
way up the river I killed three. When
I reached the Dyak village I made
myself at home and devoted myself
entirely to hunting orang-outangs. ? In
two months 1 had killed forty-three, a
number unprecedented in so short a
time. We found them only in the trees
al ong the river side. The natives said
that the orang-outangs were subject to
fevers at that season, and came to the
river to get the cool breeze."
" What are the principal features in
hunting orang-outangs, as you call
them?"
"Suppose, as the best way of answer
ing that question," said Mr. Horna
day, "that you and I start, some morn
ing, from the Dyak village, on a trip
up the river after orang-outangs. You
will find our boat excellent for hunting
purposes, being broad and flat-bot
tomed. One Malay is in the bow and
two in the stern. As we proceed you
will notice that the trees on each side
actual banks of the river are invisible;
for a cheveaux de frise of screw
pines grow far out into the stream,
and beyond them there is yet
a vast extent of ground covered
with water. Presently some one
sess a tree top moving. A moment's
glance tells us that the quick motion
of the branches indicates a monkey
and not the game we are looking for.
A little further on, however, a tree
top swings heavily to and fro. Now
we know that the gentleman whom we
have come to c all upon is at homo.
Quickly the boat is rowed as near the
tree as po.-sible, and with my indispen
sable field glass I try and locate him.
Then I fire, aiming, lor the breast or
body?never for the skull for that
would spoil the specimen. If wounde 1
mortally he will tumble down, but, if
not, we* will hear him make oif through
the woods. Overboard we go into the
swamp, natives and all, and harry after
him. My ammunition is waterproof,
and the wetting will not hurt it. After
a chase I get another ? chance to fire,
and, if that brings him down, it is
only a matter of time to wait until he
dies. We must not go near him until
he is dead, for we would speedily fin 1
what strength the oraug-outang has in
his hands and feet. You see that with
firearms there is neither danger nor ex
citement. When the natives attack
these creatures with spears the case is
different; but even then the pictures
you see of an orang-outang defending
himself with a club are pure imagina
tion. They don't do anything of t'.ie
kind."
, " What are the characteristics of the
orang-outangs V"
i " They are solitary in their habits,
especially the old ones. Once I saw
four together, but that is an unusual
thing. Their home is in the trees, and
they rarely descend to the ground.
They are as helpless on the ground as a
man with both legs*- amputated at the
knees, and simply wa Idle. They can
not stand erect for a moment. It is a
physical impossibility. They aro not
savage toward man, their lirst instinct
being to run away. Even mothers
with their young take llight rather
than attempt to make a defense.
Among themselves they fight f re paent
ly, biting each other's hands and feet.
One old fellow I kilied had three
fingers and two toes bitten off, and a
big piece bitten out of his face. They
are very destructive to the fruit, and,
for this reason, the natives are glad to
have them killed. They could not,
however, bo said to be numerous."
11 " Can they swim, like men ?"
"No, I do not beliove they can. All
my observation and experience, go to
prove that they cannot make a single
stroke in the water, but sink as help
less as lead."
"Can they be tamed?"
" I taught a young one unhurt, and
kept it quite a while as a pet. It was
tame, and its passions and emotions
were exactly like a child just before it
is able to talk. Do I think orang
outangs could be taught how to talk.? 1
don't know that the experiment has
ever been tried. If it was, and proved
successful, it would set people think
ing."_
The Country's Horses.
The horso population of the United
States is now over 11,000,000, or about
one horse to every five humans. Ac
. cording to the 1880 census the leading
horse States, with number of horses
respectively, were: Illinois, 1,023,082;
Ohio, 730,748; New York, 010,358;
Pennsylvania, 530,087; Michigan, 378,
778; Kentucky, 372,648. Two-thirds
are draught and all-work horsey and
one third are used for pleasure driving.
Quinine is said to be decreasing in
demand at the West, a prominent Chi
cago firm reporting that weekly sales
are a fifth of those a few years ago, a
circumstance due to the disappearance
of malaria, as farms are drained and
land cultivated. In New, England, on
Jhe other hand, the sales of quinine
have greatly increased of late, as ma
laria has succeeded typhoid as the cur
Jrent type of diseases* **t
Proportions in Unman Figures,
Clara Belle, the New York fashion
correspondent, inquired of an artist
concerning the proportions of human
figures, and received for reply:
"In well proportioned figures it is
usual to find the length of the body
from head to foot to be about eight
times the length of the face. The
length of the hand bears a certain pro
portion to the forearm, and this to the
arm from the elbow to the shoulder.
The foot is in length shorter than the
leg from the ankle to the knee-joint,
and this is shorter than the leg from
the knee to the hip. An idea of the
proportion which the limbs bear to
each other may be inferred from the
following numbers, which appertain to
a figure measuring five feet ten inches
from head to foot; from ground to
ankle, two inches and seven-eighths;
from ankle to knee, eighteen inches;
from knee to hip, nineteen and two
eighths; from hip to collar-bone, six
teen and six-eighths; from collar-bone
to top of head, thirteen and one-eighth;
length of foot, from heel to toe, ten
and five-eighths; hand, finger-end to
wrist-joint, eight and three-eighths;
wrist-joint to elbow-joint, ten inches;
elbow to shoulders, twelve inches."
Taking a long stick, or alpenstock,
that some pedestrian had abandoned
in a corner of the yard, the artist said:
"If you wish to test your own symme
try here's a good method. Cut this
stick to exactly your own length.
Then mark it off into twenty-four
equal parts. Number one should mark
about the ankle-joint from the bottom
of your foot; number seven the knee,
thirteen the hip, twenty the shoulder
and twenty-four the top of the head.
The length of your foot should be
somewhere between three and four
parts, from your middle finger's end
to wrist-joint three parts, to elbow six
and one-half, and to shoulder ten. The
female head is smaller than the male
head."
"Because it holds less?"
" I didn't say that. Only, to meas
ure the body by lengths of the head is
a method, though common, by no
means infallible. The body is longer
in the child than in the adult figure, to
which alone the foregoing measure
ments apply. The growth is greater
in the limbs during youth until wo
manhood. There can be no settled or
fixed measurements employed to decide
what should be the widths or circum
ference of the chest compared with
the height of the figure or of the
limbs."
An Operatic manager's Experience.
New York is overrun with young
ladies ambitious to shine in the operatic
world. They' come mostly from the
West, Wisconsin sending the great
majority. The Journal estimates the
number of these stage-struck beauties
at 2,5C0 ; but a gray-haired manager
says it seems to him there are 50,000,
-OOO-of-thom.?He-is perhaps a cipher
:or two out of the way.' " Max Strakosch
thus relates his experience with one of
these girls:
Every woman I meet has some new
song to sing me, and do what I may I
can't get away from her until I have
listened to every verse. I met a young
lady yesterday on Fourteenth street.
Oh, she was so beautiful?like a rose
bush. "Why, Mr.. Strakosch," 3he
say, " how well you do look 1 . How
have you been all the while?" Of
course, I think, maybe I know her
mother or I was her godfather or some
thing like th at, and I ask her to come and
see me. She came right along to the
house, and the moment she got inside
she made a dive for the piano. " Ho,
ho," I say, "You was a singer!"
"Yes," she say, "I came all the way
from Kalamazoo to sing for you, be
cause 1 know you want one prima
donna." " My dear lady," I say, " I
have more prime donno as I could
pack into a double-horse furniture car,
and they was all singing in the chorus,
waiting for the head one to die." " Ha,
ha," she say, "it was very evident
that you don't ever hear me." Aft-*
that she pull about twenty-five sheets
of music out of her pocket, and she
began to sing. Oh, how she do sing I
If I live 500 year I will never forget
how that young lady sing. She untie
her bonnet-strings, and byVby she
take off her shawl. She got so excited
over that " Heart Bowed Down"
or "Star Spangled Banner," ? or
whatever it was that she was
hcllerin' at, that I think maybe she
would burst her head off. Every time
I try to get out of the room she be
gins to scream, so that I was afra'd
maybe she would blow her brains out,
so I go back and sit down a little
while longer. When she was through
she ask me how I like it, and like a
fool I told her that was better as Patti.
"Caraniio. cara mio!" exclaimed Mr.
Strakosch, wringing his hands and tear
ing his hair, " it was the mistake of
my life when I told that to that lady.
She don't do nothing ever since but
chase me up one street and down
another. I tell you, my friend, it's an
awful thing to be an impressario."
"Do you understand music your
self?"
"That's tho funny part of it. I
don't know one note from another.
Hefore I engage anybody I have to
send tho singer to my director; but it
is of no use for me to tell them that,
for they would not believe me."
Hangman Marwood's Curse.
When the Phoenix Park victims
were hanged by Marwood, in Dublin,
tho mother of the youngest?who was
roally a boy?kneek'd on the ground,
all in tho rain, in front of the jail, and
called down curses on all concerned in
the execution.
Marwood was then in excellent
health. Almost immediately lie took
to drink. This weakened his vitality.
At a subsequent execution in Eng
land his cunning, that had hitherto
been proverbial deserted him, and he
made a wretched bungle of an execu
tion. A short time ago he contracted
pneumonia, which to rally from he did
not have strength -enough, and now
he is dead.
Was there any connection between
the curse and the event??New York
Truth.
Interesting Belies.
Some interesting relics of antiquity
were lately received at Berlin l'rom
Mayence. They consist of the remains
of piles belonging to the bridge which
once led from Castel to Mayence, and
which is proved to have been in use
fifty-three years before the Christian
era. The pieces of wood are trunks of
various trees, including oak, elm, and
white and red beech. Internally they
are quite sound. At one end there are
pieces of iron. Some of the wood is
tobe devoted to the manufacture of
a piano-case. Prince Alexander, of
Hesse, has had some ornamental?
pieces of furniture made from oak dis
covered at the spot referred to, and
those articles he has presented to his
son, Peace Alexander, of Bulgaria,^
- ~ j ~ ~"_
NO. 33
A loathful Prodigy.
The poet Wadsworth once said tuat
Coleridge and Sir William Hamilton,
the famous metaphysician, were the
two most wonderful men, taking all
their endowments together, that he
had ever "net. Hamilton, indeed,
began to be " wonderful" at a very
early age. At three years old be could
read the Bible; at four years and five
months be was accomplishing the feats
thus related by his mother in a letter
to her sister:
" He is one of the most surprising
children you can imagine; it is scarce
ly creditable; he not only reads well,
but with such nice judgment and
point, that it would shame many who
have finished their education. His re
citing is astonishing, and his clear and
accurate knowledge of geography is
beycnd belief; ho even draws the
countries with a pencil on paper;
and will cut them out, though
not perfectly accurate, yet so
well that anybody knowing the
countries could not mistake them; but
you will think this nothing when I
tell you that he reads Latin, Greek ,
and Hebrew 1 It is truly funny to see
the faces some of the wise heads put
on after examining him; they first
look incredulous; then they look as if
he said it as a parrot would; but after
an examination of various books and
various parts of the same book, and
when sometimes, to correct those who
from long neglect to read these dead
languages have forgotten some letters,'
he puts them in?it' they say no, he
says, ' Well, but it is so,' and when
they must agree with him, he says,
"Now see the advantage of attending
to what you read'?they stare, then
say that it is wrong to let his mind be
overstocked. They cannot suppose
that all this Is learned by him as play,
and that he could no more speak or
play, as children in general do, than he
could fly. Everything he must have a
reason for. The things at dinner are
the different countries in the world:
if he wants his handkerchief
tied around his throat, it is
?please put this round my isth
mus; if his eye itches, it is his east
eye or his west. He reals the He
brew with points. H. H. is learning
it without. She, being rather incredu
lous, brought her book, to see the dif
ference in pronunciation, and what
was the advantage of points. She
read for him, but he got so vexed at
her persevering to pronounce the
words so differently from what it is
with points, that he began to cry most
piteously, and came and told me she
went to examine him, and that she
knew nothing about it at all, tfeat she
called her letters wrong, and could not
say Haeamain as it should be said, or
any other part any more than a dunce.
We had some trouble to pacify him.
and after that, if he was asked to read
Hebrew, he always-asked: 'Do you
read'withpoints?' But by this time
you are completely tired of a mother*!!
ehlhusiasm "about her prodigy of a
son."
The Shetland Pony.
The native live stock of Shetland
cannot generally be commended, but
the well-known pony of that part of
the world is perfect of his kind. As
carts would be out of place on the
steep sides of the hills, ponf.es are kept
by every family fcr the purpose of
carrying peat for winter" use. The
fuel, after being dried, is placed in
baskets called " cassies," one of which
hangs on each side of the animal's
tack, a s-trong, broad back, admirably
adapted for the purpose of bearing
heavy burdens. The " Sheltie" is an
animal which for many generations
has been bred and trained under
special and peculiar circumstances,
and hence Iiis physique and
general character, his hereditary in
stincts and intelligence, his small size
and his purity and fixity of type. A
pony belonging to a breed which has
had to pick its zigzag way down a
steep declivity during many genera
tions must be sure-footed. By the same
rule, a pony, whose grooms and play
mates include a dozen juveniles?the
children of the neighborhood, who roll
about underneath him or upon his
back -must bo gentle, and the same
pony, living on the scathold on air
sometimes, rather than on herbage,
must be hardy. The pony of the Shet
land Isles is, in fact, the offspring of
circumstances. He is the pet of the
family, gentle as the Arab's steed un
der similar training. Ho will follow
bis friends indoors like a dog, and liok
the platters or the children's faces. He
has no more kies in him than a cat*
and no more bite than a puppy. There
is no precedent for his running away,
nor for his becoming flightened ot.
tired, even when he has carried some
stout laird from Lerwlck to his house,
many Scotch miles, across the hills. He
moves down the' rugged hillsides
with admirable circumspection, loaded
panier fashion, with two heavy "cas
sies" of peat, picking his way step by
I step, sometimes sideways. In crossing
boggy spots, where the water is re
tained and a green carpet of aquatic
grass might receive some steeds, and
bring them headlong to grief in the
spongy trap, he carefully smells the
surface, and is thus enabled to circum
vent the danger. In the winter tho
Shetland pi ny wears a coat made of
felted hair, and specially suited to the
occasion. Iiis thick winter garment
is well adapted for protecting him
against the fogs and damps of tho
climate. It is exceedingly warm and
comfortable, fl;s close to the wearer's
dapper form, and is not bad-looking
wheu new. But when tho coat grows
old toward spring, at the season when
the new on ? should appear, it becomes
the shabbiest garment of the kindthat
you often see. Its very amplitude and
the abundance of tho material render
it more conspicuous when it peels and
hangs for awhile ragged and worn
out, and then falls bit by bit till the
whole of it disappears.
Colored Provisions.'
Everyman has his favorite story,
and the Hon. Roswell P. Flower, of
New York, tells the following:
" One day an old negro, clad in rags,
and carrying a burden on his head,
ambled into the executive chamber, and
dropped bis load on the floor. Step
ping toward the governor, he said:
" Km you de gubner, s-ah?''
Being answered in the affirmative,
he said:
" If dat am a f ac' I'se glad ter meet
yer. Yer see I libs way up dar in de
back ob de country, and is a poor man,
sah. I h'ar dar is some pervishuns in
de cons'tut ion for de culled man, and
I am bar to get some ob em sah."?
La Presse has an account of a peas
ant named James Tygelof, who has
^ust died at Ode/sa, aged 147 years.
His son is still alive at the age of 115;
he has a grandson of' eighty-five, and
a great great grandson of forty. He
never drank or ?moked. ?
- ___
% f intor at* ?tmmt
SPECIAL REQUESTS.
L All changes in advertisements must'
reach us on Fridny.
2. In writing to this offlco on bnoiness
always give your name and postofllco ad
dress. .
3. Articles for publication should bo writ
ton in a clear, legible band, and on only ont
side of the page.
4. Business letters and communicationf
to bo published should be written on separata
sheeto, and the object of each clearly in
dicated by necessary note when required.
JOB PJRIJNTTIIVGJ
*X>NE WITHNEATNESS AND DISPATCH
. TERMS CASH.
HERE AND YONPW?
I walk in the crowded city, ;
And the pavement pains my fe?t,
And nothing but piles of buildings
Shut in the stones of the street;
But I only see the meadow
And the wood so cool and sweet.
I walk in the crowded city,
And mix with the noisy throng,
And the din is like to the beating
Of a great, incessant gong;
But I only hear the brook flow
And the brown wood thrush's song.
I walk in the crowded city,
And daily the many grow more,
And they fill up the street like a mill race
As hither and thither they pour;
But I only see a cottage
And a maiden at the door.
I walk in the crowded city,
And buy and sell in the mart,
But still in its crush and clamor
I feel that I have no part;
For the sweet, fresh life of the couutr
Forever abides in my heart.
I walk in the crowded city,
But see the green meadow stfil,
And look through the piles of buildings
To the wood that crowns the hill,
And alone with tho cottage maiden
I wander afar at will.
?Edward Willett, in New York Sun.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS
Vesuvius threatens another "alarm
ing eruption." It is high time for
Vesuvius to be vacwnated.?-Pitts
burg Telegraph.
A Boston commercial traveler, men>
tioned by the dole, was paralyzed whe ?
a young lady asked him, *.'When a .:
you going peddling again?"?Courier*^
Journal.
"Yes," he said, "I prefer to have
black sand given me instead of pep- \
per by my grocer. It doesn't hurt my
eyes so much when my wife gets mad."
?Boston Post. ...-.';>?
A baby will cry no hardeY ir apm is
stuck into him than he will if the cat
won't let him pull her tail. Jt is
cheaper, therefore, to pin him.?Chi
cago Telegram. . *
" How shall we stop the great evil
of lying?" ajks a religious weekly.
Don't know, give it up. It's a habit
you ought never to have fallen into.?
Saturday Night.
Mrs. Homespun, who has a terrible
time every morning to get her young
brood out of their beds, say3 she cannot
understand why children are called the
rising generation.?Boston Transcript.
A Kansas woman was upbraiding
her husband when a cyclone hove irr
sight, and, with a sigh of reliefT^er
unhappy man ran out into its path
and was safely* blown into the next I
county.?Rochester Express.
"Have you heard any bad news?*"
asked a minister's, wife of her hus
band, as he entered the house, looking
a little despondent. "Yes," the good
man replied, " I have; the marriage of ~
young Smith and the Begleygirl is put
off until next year."
"Will there be a hop to-night?"
asked a summer sojourner of anothrt
who had loved the stock market " nf
wisely but too well." "Don't knot f
about the hop, but there will be a skfp
if lean get my trunk out," was the
reply.?Boston Bulletin.
? A report that the bones of a masta*)-n
had been discovered was circulated (1e
other day, but a close inspection prov ed
the relics to be a sunken foundation of
a corncrib. It is a blessing that cool
and clear-headed men inhabit the
country.?Arkansaw Traveler.
A Los Angeles rancher has raised a
pumpkin so large that his two children
use a half each for a cradle. This may
seem very wonderful in thejjn..il tBJr>
tricts, but in this city three or four
full-grown policemen have been found
asleep on a single beat.?San Francisco
Post.
Last Sunday morning Jay Could
walked down Broadway without a rag
on him. Oh, no, he wasn't crazy. He
was one of the best-dressed men in the
street. You wouldn't expect a man of
Mr. Gould's wealth to go around
dressed in rags, would you ??Burdette,
in Argonaut.
"You make yourself scarce!" said
an irate father to the young man who
had been forbidden the house, at the
same time reaching for him with a
number nine. And the y. m. excited
ly remarked, as he cleared the front
fence, " I am now taking steps in that
direction."?Rochester Express.
A man makes a row if his wife
takes his ra or to trim a little maize on
her little toe or sharpen a lead pencil,
but he thinks it is all right, and scoffs
at her, if she shrieks her feeble protests
when he takes her little embroidery
scissors to cut a copper telephone wire.
"Don't hurt the scissors at all," he
Bays.?Hawkeye.
The mother of the high-school girl,,,
having occasion to bo emphatic yester
day, close 1 a little speech with the re
mark, "That's the word with the bark
on." The high-school girl said the ex
pression was not genteel, and told her
mother she should have said, " That is
tho exogenous combination of articu
late and vocal sounds."?0? City Der
rick.
"Charlie," remarked Fogg, "you
were born to be a writer." "Ah," re
plied Charlie, blushing s'ightly at the
compliment, "you have seen some of
the things I have turned off?" " No,"
said Fogg, " I wasn't referring to what
you had written; I,was simply think
ing what a splendid ear you had for
carrying a pen. Immense, Charlie,
simply immense."?Boston Transcript.
Skumka, chief of the Umatilla tribe
in Oregon, mistook Jamaica ginger for
a new kind of beverage that both
cheers ; ndinebriates,and drank twenty
bottles of the stuff. A few moments
later a more surprised Indian was
never seen. He thought a volcanic
eruption from .Java had steuck him
where he lives, ail? before dying he
urged all his braves to look not upon the
Jamaica ginger when it burneth like
a urairie on lire.?Norriitjum Herald.
National Population, -
"If the various countries maintain
their present rate of increase," says
M. Gosselin, sc retary of embassy at
Berlin, " fifty years hence the United
States will have a population of 190,
000,000; Russia, approximately, 153,
000,000; Germany, 83,000,001); the
United Kingdom, ttf.OOO.OOO; Austria
Hungary and Italy. bot\ 44,000,000,.
and France only 4O.OU0.O00. Ger
many has already in round numbers
7,500,000 more inhabitants than
France ; but in this reckoning Algeria I
is not taken into account." For war
purposes, however, it is obvious that
the balance is hot so heavily against
France, for, whereas in Germany there
are only -05 males to every thousand
females, in France there are 991.

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