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?(jf ?tos mi Qtmsam
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an angel side.
The huge, rough stone from out Che mine,
Unsightly and unfair,
Has veins of purest metal bid
Beneath the surface there.
Few rocks so bare but to their height
Some tiny moss plant chugs.
And round the peak so desolate
The sea bird sits and sings.
- Behove mo, too, that rugged souls
Beneath their rudeness hide
Much that is beautiful and good?
"We've all our angel side."
Joe Smudd's Experience.
Very many flights of stairs had to b<
climbed?rickety, dirty, old, rot-eater
stairs they were?before a visitor could
reach the uppermost floor (there were nc
elevators-in those days), in the furthest
and smallest room of which Joe Smudd,
the cobbler, lived, tojled and rejoiced.
Joe was a hard worker, yet while or
his sear, hammering out strips of leathei
HaT'proper tenuity and solidity, or ir
stretching seams, or in other employment
of his craft, he was never at a loss for a
tune to whistle or a verse to sing; and,
although he sought not work?nevei
went out of his little room in search ol
it?he was seldom without a half 01
whole dozen broken-down feet coverings
Of course they were neighbors whe
patronized Joe Smudd, and for reasons
that were good in themselves. They
were: his obliging disposition, low prices,
good work and promptness, and added
to these, a song sung in a voice as clear
and as sweet as that of a silver-tongued
Joe Smudd was. so his neighbors said,
a " splendid singer," and it pleased him
to hear them praise his cobbler work
and his voice? not that he thought him
self r. better mechanic than hundreds
who depended 0:1 their awl for a living,
and making what fortune favored them
Of course Jo^ Smudd was not a pun
ster. He despised playing on words.
He was simply n sole-mender, and a
sweeter and better singer than he knew.
It was, perhaps, well that he was not
wise in this last particular.
But, just now, work was slack, and
Christmas was nt hand.
To Joe Smudd the first fact was un
As he sat on his bench and pondered
and sang, he wondered what had hap
pened?why it was he had no shoes to
patch up, no boots to heel and toe, nor
odd jobs to do with welting and upper
and quarter, in-sole and out-sole.
Joe Smudd was not discouraged. Not
he. He only wondered, that was all.
Well, he rather liked it, for it gave him
the opportunity he hud long been seek
ing, to study the words of a song he had
heard a few weeks before whistled and
sung by some unknown person?a queer,
little old man with green goggles mounted
on his nose, and who, as he hazily and
huskily voiced the notes, looked steadily.
JUatn_joe's kindly face, and Ychanieotly
struckrhe aagjrii!? with hiw-sraff in-time
to fhe rise and fall of tee notes.
And now, as Joe ran his eyes over the
printed words and sung the time correct
ly and sweetly, he bethought him of the
little old man with his comical action,
It was a low, round, good-natured
chuckle that welled up from Joe Smudd's
throat when he recalled the action and
the figure of the singer, with his impor
tant air. ?
When he had finished the last line of
the song he murmured:
.""Well, that's a nice tune-anyhow, and
fee words arc almost as good as the air.
"I'd like that old gentleman whom I first
heard sing it to listen to me, and tell me
whether it's all right."
Hardly had Joe. Smudd uttered these
words when, to his great suqirise, the
lamp by which he had read the lines of
the song began gradually to grow dim
mer, and then, with a spurt, go out, leav
ing him in total darkness.
" Whew!" cried Joe. " That's funny?
funny for the lamp. It never did so be
fore; and I declare I thought as it went
clean out 1 saw the old gentleman with
goggles on his nose and his big stick in
his hand standing there before me!"
"Did you, now!" a voice, to Joe's
great consternation, cried. "Well, what
if you did, Joe Smudd? IIa! ha! Don't
you know that there's a door to your
room, a window to look out of, and a
chimney by which the smoke from your
little stove may ascend to the air? Ha!
ha! Joe Smudd, Joe Smudd, you don't
keep your door locked, do you, when
ybtfr^fagf And, I'll tell you what, Joe,
it's cKnS&nas, and you've a grand voice,
and?how wtucli money have you saved
from your latter since this time last year?
Tell me that, yoe Smudd. Hem! I
want to know it." D'ye hear?"
And the Mttle old gentleman, at the
close of his oration, struck the bare floor
three or four times w ifj^his big cane, as
if de-irous of giving doub.'e and treble
emphasis to his words.
Joe Smudd, by this time, had "forgot
ten he was talking to an iutruder, und
that, too. in the dark.
With a cheerful laugh ho answered:
"Well, sir, I've just made thread-ends
meet. But I've waxed happy and ham
mered out a good living, including an
occasional pipe and a pint, now and
then, of beer. I've heeled and toed it
"Joe Smudd! Joe Smudd!" almost
screamed the old man: '"and that's all
you've done with that voice of yours?"
" That's what I've done, mending and
making as good as new, customers'shoes.
And I'd be pleased to heel and sole yours
whenever you want them fixed, and I
won't charge you over much. Always
open for a job."
"Bah! Pshaw! Boo-00!" cried the
visitor, in most extraordinary fashion,
raising his voice to a scream that ex
pressed a wonderful amount of contempt
and indignation. " Come with me, Joe
"You," replied the cobbler. " Why,
bless us, it's snowing like fury, and the
wind is whistling and dancing round
the corners of the streets, and driving the
snow in people's faces, and blinding
people's eyes, and chilling people's!
"It's Christmas Eve!" yelled the old
man, as if in a fury. " And you want to
sit up here in this little bit of a room!'
Come with me, Joe. D'ye hear? Come!" |
Now, Joe Smudd was as courageous as 1
any cobbler in the town, but somehow he
was brought completely under the w ill of
the imperative visitor.
He tried to demur?to summon up a
refusal, but it was of no use. Joe i
Smudd found himself rising from his seat, 1
and, as he stepped away from it. It oc-1
curred to him that he ought to have a
Seizing a box of matches he struck
one. It ignited, and tiarcd up the mil
lionth part of a second?just long enough j
for him to see what appeared to be a pair
of goggles of immense size and a head
covered with a shaggy cap, and when he
had lighted a second match, which also
instantly ceased to burn, he thought he
perceived, raised high over his head, a
huge stick?very much like the one he
had seen in the hands of the little man
when he first heard the air of the song
he had sung, onlv that it appeared more
like a giant's s:.... than a waiking cane.
And now, do what Joe Smudd would,
and he labo. cd persistently and desper
ately, the locofocos would not ignite,
or, if they did, would sputter a little,
flare up. and then darkness followed.
"Well, muttered Joj, "I never sawtne
like of it before. It's funny."
"Yes, it is?very,'' said the queer
visitor, sarcastically. "Now, when you
have burned all your matches, and can
find no other excuse, you'll perhaps com
ply with mv request."
"But," cried Joe, with a little show of
indignation, "I can't go into the street,
in the midst of a snowstorm, with the
wind biting and whistling around one's
ears, and without my hat and coat and
The irascible visitor laughed shrilly and
pounded the floor with his staff.
When he had arrived at the conclusion
that he had laughed enough, the little
"Joe Smudd, you are a fool, an idiot,
a donkey, a goney, an ass 1 But you have
"Why, what have I done?" demanded
"Hal ha! Why, you've been talking
about your coat and hat and boots," was
the answer. "And, behold! you have
them all on you, and?why, Joe Smudd,
you're dressed like a gentleman!"
"I?" queried the now bewildered cob
"To be sure? to be sure you are. I
never saw a gentleman better dressed.
Why, man, where were you going before
took the* liberty of entering this elegan
studio? To viait some grand lady, doubt
less, and entrance her with your voice!
Ha! ha! Joe Smudd, you are a hypocrite
?yes a hypocrite, sir!"
"I?I?" persisted the cobbler. "You're
mistaken. I'm not dressed. How could
I be? I have just left off work?that is,
a minute ago?that I might learn that
sweet song of yours."
"Well, never mind, Joe Smudd," re
plied his visitor; "I won't argue further
with you about dress. You're all right.
Take my arm and assist me to the bottom
of your terrible breakneck stairs, and
there we'll lind a carriage awaiting us."
Joe, feeling it would oe more comfort
able for him to sing his new song alone,
gladly assented to the invitation to con
duct the sa.castic intruder to the street,
at once offered him his support.
It was not an easy task to descend the
crooked fights in the dark with a stranger
I hanging heavily on an arm of the guile
I less mender of shoes.
But the cordwainer, being accustomed
to every turn, succeeded without acci
dent in getting to the lower hall.
When they had reached the sidewalk
the carriage was there, drawn up in front
of the doof. To it were attached four
splendid horses, their hides glossy and
black as night. There was a coachman
and footman in brilliant and costly livery
standing near the open door of the vehi
cle, prepared to hand them to the soft
and warm seats within the cosy body
Joe shrank back when the little man,
in an exhuberant manner, waving his
stick in the fashion the conductor of an
orchestra swings his baton, invited. him
to precede him in the carriage.
"Can't do itK_suy*I-said Job
more ^detormincdlv than he hat
any time"UuHiig the interview- "Liook!
I'm not dressed."
' 'Bah! I say you are. See, thepe's the
gas-light, and here," and the Little man
ran to the carriage and took out of it a
mirror?"look at yourself, and if you are
not attired like a prince I'll?I'll cat you!
Joe looked, as invited.
He started back, overwhelmed with
"Could it be him!" he mentally cried.
"Is that me, Joe Smudd? Why, I'm
splendidly dressed, arid my face is
shaved?and?and ?" he added, as he
drew from a small pocket in his trousers,
to which was attached a costly chain, a
large gold watch! While doing this he
saw something glitter and scintillate in
the light. He looked again, and on one
of his fingers was a magnificent diamond
"Well, I never!" he exclaimed.
"When, where did I get these things?
"By your voice," answered the little
miii., throwing his stick fifty feet in the
air and fairly catching it on the end of
i his nose as it fell. "New, Signor Smud
jdio! Ha! ha! That's good! From
Joe Smudd to Guiseppe Smuddio. Pray,
signor, enter. Beauty, wealth, popu
larity await you in the palace of the
muses?the home of cultivated harmony
in east Fourteenth street. Ha! ha!
Joe felt himself puffing up and swell
ing with his importance.
He had not, so he tho ight, been more
than comfortably seated in the carriage,
when he found himself standing behind
the footlights of the stage of a vast
theatre. Before him were thousands of
faces. There were eager, expectant faces j
everywhere, and near, as leader of the j
orchestra, swinging in the air his big
stick, was the queer little man who had J
j insisted upon his honoring the occasion. !
And as he stood in the vast presence,
i cheer upon cheer greeted the cobbler,
j It rang in his cars like a mighty storm
I of sound. Then there came at the end
! of it a tremendous crash of music. Bi<?
I drum and little drum, bugle and trumpet,
clarionet and serpent, and fifty other in
steuments sent forth one mighty and
: harmonious voice.
When ihe instrumental part had been
? brought to a close, there was a dead
j silence. So still was it that Joe Smudd,
j alias Guiseppe Smuddio, could hear the
; ticking of his watch, the beating of his
"Sing! Sing. Sigi.or Smuddio; D'ye
hear!" screamed the little man, rising
and throwing his stick -with a furious
gesture upward until it str ick the ceiling,
and which on falling hit the bald pate of
the big drummer, causing that much in- I
; jured gentleman to howl with pain.
Joe opened his mouth as if to sing,
and, notwithstanding the audience again
applauded more deleriously than on his
j advent, never a word or note could he ;
I get out of his throat.
There he stood, as if transfixed, with |
! his mouth wide open!
The people in the parquettc and boxes
and galleries, perceiving this, began to
stamp, and then to hiss and groan.
As this had no effect on the vocal organ |
of the unfortunate Joe, they commenced 1
I throwing ill-smelling eggs, rotton oranges I
! and decayed cabbages at him, and these
little attentions were followed by howl
I ing and screaming and tearing up of the 1
seatsand the firing of all kinds of missiles
at the little conductor who had brought!
him to this pass, and who. it^vas evident, j
was wild with anger and indignation.
The marked disapprobation of the
audience grew in intensity. Pandemo- |
nium seemed to have drifted from its |
anchorage into the house, and through it
all, because he could not help himself or
get out of the way,stood the now pitiably
besmeared mender of boots and shoes.
Then came a fearful explosion, and j
Joe Smudd found himself shot into the .
air and going swift as a cannon ball? 1
"Joe! Joe!" cried a soft voice, "wake
up! What is the matter? You're tumb
ling about and groaning at an awful rate." i
" What!" exclaimed the cobbler, as he !
leaped from the floor to his feet?" am 1
here? How came I in this room? Oh,
what a relief! Where's my gold watch,
m.y diamond finger-ring, and those splen
did clothes? Lord, how they frightened
me, and I couldn't sing a bit for them!"
" Arc you crazy, Joe?" ask the soft
T voice and in a sweeter tone than at first.
"Crazy?" repeated the cordwair.er.
"Tell mn, Kitty?am I Joe Smudd, the
cobbler, or Signor Smuddio, th<
The person addressed as Kitty?a fair,
pleasant-faced girl of eighteen or twenty
years?laughed in a low, silvery voice aj
"Mad as a March hare! Joe, you
ought to be locked up in an asylum foi
the demented, with the other sane people
that are put therein."
" So it was a dream," Joe continued.
"It was just awful. Kitty, and I'm glad
I'm safely out of it. What was that roai
and crash I heard?"
" Why, you upset the stove?you fell
over it," Kitty answered. "Oh, Joe, if
there had been fire in it, we'd have had
a fearful time of it this awful winter
night:?and to-morrow Christmas day,
? you know!"
Joe looked at the young girl and said,
in a low, hurried way:
"Kitty, I have an idea. I want a beau
tiful, kind, good Christmas present. Do
you know what I want, what I must have
to-morrow, Kitty? You see, I am so
awfullv lonely up here. Do you know J
The girl blushed and smiled and hast
ened to change the conversation.
"Tell me your dream," she said.
Joe seized Miss Kitty's hands. On
drawing her to him. he made her seat
herself by his side, and then, quietly en
circling her waist with his good right
arm, proceeded in a straightforward way
to recount the history of his adventures
in that most wonderful country of coun
"What a curious experience, to be
sure," remarked Kitty, when he had
brought to a close his narrative.
"Yes," Joe answered drawing Miss
Kitty yet closer to him; "and it all
comes of my loneliness. Now, Kitty,
I've been begging you for ever so long
to take my name?Smudd it is?and
you've held off. Hey?what say you to
night? See, the storm's over, and there's
a parson on the next block whose shoes
"It's so sudden, Joe," said Kitty, do
"Not for a Christmas box, is it?"
"Well, here's yours, Joe."
As she spoke she gave the cobbler a
smart stroke with her hand on the right
ear, which, of course, he received good
Love made the cordwaincr eloquent,
and it was not long?he cunningly point
ing out to the girl his extreme loneliness,
and what might happen if he should have
another such dream?before she con
It was yet early that Christmas eve.
It might be said that before she was
wholly conscious of her conduct the de
mure but pitying Kitty found herself en
dowed to wear, for better or for worse,
with the name of Smudd.
In the presence of the Reverend Mr.
Snoodson, who was indebted to Joe for
sundry soles?of leather?the name trans
"Joe, am I awake or asleep?"
"Never wider," he answered.
"ADd you'll be no longer lonely?"
"Not a bit of it," he returned, and
with that he gave her a kis& that almost
deprived her of her breath,so ardent was
"We'll call it square, parson," Joe
added, when he had succeeded in getting
his lips away from those of Mrs. Kitty
"Very well," responded the minister,
with a laugh.
When Joe and Kitty returned to the
tenement he was again astounded.
His apartment had, during his absence,
been lighted up, a Christmas tree, set in
a box, in it, and on its branches con
tributions of customers and neighbors,
and lots of useful gifts. Among other
things "too numerous to mention," as
the auctioneers say, was a gold watch,
and as much like the timepiece he saw
in his dream as one twin can look like
another. And there were also nice
things for Kitty. Her eyes sparkled
when she saw them.
"Kitty, am I awake?" he asked,
doubtingly. "Tell me for once."
"Never wider," was the cheerful re
Then the friends of the happy pair,
without pretension of any kind, but loaded
with lots of good things in the way of
eatables and drinkables, flocked in, and
presently they overspread the whole
floor, and?didn't they have a jolly time
of it, dancing and singing?
And of the gathering, no one danced
better or more gracefully than the
pleasant-faced bride, or a?.ng sweeter or
more delightfully than the good-natured
Now all this happened this Christmas
eve one year ago, and would you believe
it, although there are three of them
now?including the olive branch?Joe
and Kitty's honeymoon is not ended, and
folks say it never will De, which is cu- j
If at times the cobbler exhibits a little
petulencc of temper, as the best men
sometimes will, Kitty addresses him as
Signor Giuseppe Smuddio. That re
stores him to good humor, and his
rooms?he has more than one now, and
they are on the tirst stcry?are instantly
filled with the sweecst of sweet airs, for
Joe Smudd, really and truly, has a ,
magnificent vocal organ.
Christ inns in Shetland.
Shetlauders do not speak of Christinas I
us much as of Yule. Nay, more, if you
were asking a native why Yule is kept as ,
a holiday, the chances arc that his reply
would emit.! n no reference whatever to j
the nativity. He would Minplv say, it
"had aye been kept by the auld folk"?
meaning his forefathers. He that as it
may. Yule is in Shetland the great holi
day of the year, or lit least was so when
I was a boy. Hut Yule was not the 2-*>th
of December by the modern calendar,
but the titli of January: for in '.he "melan- .
choly isles of the furthest Th?le" time
was always reckoned according to the i
"old style." Wc were always, therefore, ?
twelve days behind the rest of the civil- !
ized world. All that, however, is now ?
passing away, thanks to steamboats and ;
electric telegraphs, and newspapers and
(general intercourse with the South; and
I dare say Yule, the dear Yule I reinem- '
her so well, will ere long be know n and 1
spoken of only as a tradition, for, alto- j
nether, life in those islands is now very :
different from what it was some fifty or
sixty years ago. ? ChamJiers Journal.
The festival of the birth of Christ was
celebrated by different communities of
tlu; early Christians at various periods of
the year, and it was not until the fourth
century that the present season was defi
nitely fixed upon. This is said to have
been the act of Julius I., Pope of Home,
A.. D. 337-352. There can be no doubt
that the end of December does not rep
resent the true anniversary, and there is
reason to believe that the celebration was
transferred from the last mouth of the
Tewish year, when the birth was known
to have taken place, to the last month
of the Christian year.?Antiquary.
m am ? -
Cows aro still used to drag the plow
In Central Germany,
LNGEB?EG, S. 0M
TRAINED FOR THE CHASE.
Row tbe Corn omnta Work In China
?The *?acting Leopard?A Flab
Which Catche? Turtle?..
At the present day the dog stands as
the exponent of the highest perfection
attained in the education of animals for
economic purposes. The retriever,
pointer, and setter are all so finely bred
that in many cases their training or edu
cation is a mere form, and the desired
knowledge seems to come by intuition.
A common sight in China to-day is the
fisherman with his board of cormorants,
ready to go over at the owner's word.
This practice was followed in England
in former times, and the master of cor
morants was a prominent officer of the
royal household. The birds are taken
from the nest when young, and easily
trained, and so rapid are their movements
under water that rarely a fish escapes
them. When taken out in a boat they
are generally kepi; hooded by a wire
mask, to prevent their utilizing the
catch for their own benefit. In China
this bird is one of the daily sights to be
seen on the canal or island streams,
especially in the neighborhood of Ning
po. Here on the Iske the boats congre
gate, each propelled by a single China
man, with three or ? four cormorants
roosting either on the rail or a platform
made for the purpose. So perfectly are
they trained that they obey the slightest
word of the master; and when he gives
the word over they go, and with remark
able speed begin a search under water, seiz
ing the fish,rising to i;he surface,and bring
ing the victim to the owner exactly like
a dog. If a large fish is captured these
intelligent birds go to each other's assis
tance, and with a combined effort bring
it to their master, after which they are
repaid by the entrails?to them, insa
tiate gluttons, the choicest parts. So im-1
portant are these fisheries that many j
persons are eneraged in raising cormor- i
ants and training them for the fishermen. |
Birds trained to bring down game
were first used in China.and Japan. In
the former country it was practiced 2.000
B. C, aud, according to the records of
Wen Wang, it was a sport much esteemed
in his locality, GS'J B. C. Six hundred
years before Christ it was also practiced in
Arabia, and Persia, and on the ruins of
Khorzabad a bas-relief has been found
showing that it was known, 1700 B. C.
About the middle of the fourth centurj.
and probably earlier, birds were first
trained by sportsmen in Western Europe.
As hawks had a natural bent in this di
rection they were used, and out of it
grew the fashionable sport of falconry
followed for many centu:' -s later. In |
the ninth century to be a good trainer of J
falcons was an essential for a young man
of good birth. Alfred the Great was a
famous trainer, and wrote a treatise on
the subject. In France, during the
eighth and ninth centuries, the grand
falconer was a great man, with an annual
salary of 4,000 florins, and an attendance
of fifty assistant falconers and fifty gen
tlemen. Beside this, he was allowed to
keep 300 hawks for his own amusement,
Skjd, best of all, in a pecuniary sense, he
I PfTconeed every vender of hawks, receiv
ing ii ta-x?npori every- bird- sold in -the
kingdom. Early in the seventeenth cen
tury a goshawk and a tassel-hawk brought
100 marks, a large sum for the time. In
the reign of James I. Sir Thomas
Mbnson paid $?'>,000 for a cast of hawks,
and as a cast means a pair, the birds
brought $2.500 apiece. Various kinds
- of birds were used, and they were ar
ranged by the old falconers according to
rank; thus the king used the gcr-falcon,
the emperor the eagle or vulture, a prince i
the falcon, a duke the falcon of the rock,
j an carl the peregrine-falcon, a baron the
bastard, a knight the secret, an esquire
the lancret, ladies the marlyon, young men
the hobby, yeomen the goshawk, poor
men the tercel, priests the sparrow-hawk,
the servants the kestcri, etc. In Eng
land to-day hawking is carried on to
some extent, and various birds arc used
to capture herons and smaller game. In
Africa the falcon is used to capture the
gazelle, the birds being trained to seize
the animal by the throat, the wounds and
the beating of the bird's wings so con
fusing the poor beasts that they fall a
victim to the hunter.
In Africa and Southern Asia the chee
tah, or hunting leopard is important to
the sportsman. The animals resemble
the common leopard in their markings,
hut are more slender, having long legs
and certain external caniuc characteristics
:that are very noticeable,so that it was long
thought a connecting link between the
dogs and cats. In Persia it is called the
youze, and they are carried to the field
in low cars, whereon they are chained.
Each leopard is hooded. When the
hunters come within view of a herd of
antelopes the leopard is unchained, his
hood is removed, and the game is pointed
out to him, being directed in the pursuit
by his sight. Then he steals along cau
tiously and crouchingly, taking advan
tage of every means of masking his at
tack till he has approached the herd un
seen, within killing distance, when he
suddenly launches himself upon his
quarry with five or six vigorous and rapid
hounds, strangles it instantaneously, and
drinks its blood. The huntsman now
approaches the leopard, caresses him,
wins him from his prey by placing the
blood which he collects in a wooden
ladle under the nose of the animal, or by
throwing to him pieces of meat, and
while he is thus kept quiet, hoods him.
leads him back to his ear. and there
chains him. If Ihc leopard fails, in con
sequence of the herd having taken timely
alarm, he attempts no pursuit, but re
turns to his car with a dejected and mor
The hyena and ounce have also been i
used in hunting, while the wild dog of
Africa is often in demand. In Asia
tiger-hunting would be practiced less
were it not for the elephants, who seem
to en joy the dangerous sport as well as
their riders, who are safe housed on their
backs. These intelligent animals are
also used in capturing wild animals of
their own kind, and are important fac
tors in tin- training and subduing process
that conies later. The horse was for
merly used in England to stalk animals.
They were trapped so that the rider was
concealed, and so feeding alontr the ani
mal gradually brought the sportsman
nearer the game. In the inventories of
the wardrobe belonging to King Henry
VIII. is the allowance of certain qualities
of stuff for the purpose of making stalk
ing-coats and stalking-hose for the use
of his ma jesty.
In Florida the writer had an ucquaint
ancc-au ancient (islmrman, not too spright
ly withal?who possessed two tame peli
cans that he had brought up from the
nest. As catching bait was somewhat
of a laborious task, the old man frequent
ly attached a leather strap about the birds'
necks, and they invariably came back
with pouch distended with fish that they
were unable to swallow and would not
give up, and then they were wrested from
them by their owner, who, he it said to
his credit, always gave the birds a fair
share* of the snappers and barracondas
caught with the bait of their collecting.
In former years, to a considerable ex
tent, otter was used to fish, the animals
being tamed when cubs, and trained at
first with leather fishes so that they
would fetch like a dog. Though not
used exactly in hunting live game, a
large lizard found in the Nile country
has been put to a curious use. The ani
mal is extremely powerful, using its
claws to great advantage, and, being
aware of this, a large one was secured by
a band of robbers, who hid no ladder
wherewith to reach the ln*iioe of a sec
ond-story window. The) great lizard
was placed against the roiigh wail, head ?
toward the desired poiht,?nnd instantly
it began crawling up,' evenBaUy hauling
one of the robbers safely^mp, who was
clinging to his tail. A. vely good story,
if not true, and perhaps possible, as
these lizards of the Nile country have
been known to drown .hrhgc animals in
In England?and too -often in thia
country?the ferret is olte?r used i? hunt
ing the rabbit, while the e,.pert rat-catch
ers of this country value them as import
ant adjuncts to their my&t'rious business.
In the Caribbean sea; some of the fisher
men use a fish?the remOra?in the cap
ture of turtles. The fis'x is the well
known attendant upon tl^ shark, baving
a disk-like sticker upon/.its head, with
which it clings to large ?shes. The ex
tent to which this labor-saving arrange
ment is used is shown in ; he fact that the
upper side of the fish, ','hat in others is
generally dark, is light and the under
side dark. So powerfu- is the sucker
that fifteen or twenty pouads can be lifted
by taking the fish by the tail, and by care
fully playing in the wafc a large turtle
can be caught. The fiSkermcn take the
remoras out in a tub of/water in their
boats, and have a leather strap attached
to a long line that fitted about the fish's
tail. At the approach of a turtle the fish
is turned over, and remembering its old
friend, or instinctively,ut attaches'itself,
and so the reptile, often towing the boat,
is gradually brought alongside hnd~ sub
dued, and the rcmora pliiced in the tub to
await the second appcaraucc. The re
moras attain a length of r. foot and a half,
and attend sharks and turtles, and have
also been seen about a large porgie. Num-"
hers of small animals a/e used indirectly
as lures to game, showing that the eco
nomic value of animals m this respect is
of no little importance, 'even at the pres
ent day.?St. LouLt Gtoie Democrat.
A Giant Python.
A chorus of discordant screams from
the throats of half -a hundred parrots
greeted a New York <Sjm reporter who
walked into the bird dealer's rooms in
Itooscvclt street. When he had become
accustomed to the rasping sounds suffi
ciently to hear, the proprietor said:
"I will show you the largest snake in
captivity. Snakes in shows arc usually
disappointing to the bc-y who has read
the cheerful tales of aniicondas that swal
low nothing smaller than a cow, but here
is a sensation in snakes/'
He unlocked the hisp on a heavy
box two and a half by four feet
large and a foot d?"ep, and raised
the cover. There was the snake in
what sailors might call two Flemish coils,
one on top of the other, covering nearly
the whole of the bottom of Wie box. As
the light shone into th;; box the snake
raised its head, which;was as large as
j !> man's open hand, arid moved it about
uneasily, while a bfnfck forked tongue
darted out toward the spectators. Its
body was black, rattled with white
and olive green spots. Tlie little, round
black eyes seemed to look steadily into
the eyes of the keeper and the re
porter at the same time, and nothing
could withdraw their gaze till the lid
was shut down.
"It is thirty feet long, and eighteen
inches in circumference in its Inrgest
part,'* said the proprietor. "It was cap
tured about eighty miles back of Cal
cutta. It is a genuine python. We
have another one of the same kind about
eighteen feet long, that is probably the
second largest in the country. The
largest one could kill and swallow a
man. It could kill a horse."
" How are these fellows captured?"
"By small mesh nets. The natives
spread a large net over any that they find
coiled up. The snake at once jumps
around; antic efforts to escape, and
becomes lgled up in the net. It is
then hound with cords and bands and
carried to the sea, and sold to some ship
"What is the market price of a
"From $-2? to $50 for the ordinary
museum snake. That smaller one will
bring $150, but the big one will sell for
$500. I am going to South America
soon to get some of the water snakes.
They are said to measure from fifty to
seventy-five feet in length. None has
ever been captured.
"My father has something on his house
that your father ain't got," said a little
boy to his companion.
"Whatis it ?" he earnestly asked.
"A mortgage."?Marathon Independ
Little George was questioned the other
day about his big sister's beau.
" How old is he ?"
" I don't know."
"Well, is he young ?"
" I think so, for he hasn't any hair ou
his head I"?Boston Courier.
Little Benny w as looking out of the
window the other day when a man went
by with a saw horse over his shoulder.
"What do you call that ?" he queried.
He was given the information he desired,
with the question: "Did you never see
one before ?" "Oh, yes," was the reply,
"I saw a man put a log of wood across
one the other day, and then he fiddled
Master Fred. Fenton fell from the top
most limb of an apple tree. He was
picked up and carried to the house in an
After watching at Iiis bedside through
many weary hours his mother perceived
signs of returning consciousness.
Leaning over him she asked him if
there was anything she could do for him,
now that he was beginning to feel better.
Should she bathe his forehead? Should
she fan him or change his pillow? Was
there anything he wanted?
Languidly opening his eyes and look- ,
ing at her, the little sufferer said:
"Yes, mamma: I want a pair of pants I
with a pocket behind."
He got them.?Philadelphia Call.
The Mandate Was Obeyed.
Bcnjumin Tappan, better known a
"Oid Hen Tappan, of Ohio,'" was one o
the w ittiest men who has ever sat in the
I'nited States Senate, and he labored
under an obliquity of vision greater than
that of Governor Butler. On one oc
casion, while holding court in an interior
town in Ohio, the prison, the county jail
of which was const meted of logs, as he
was passing sentence upon the usual
number convicted of petty offenses
against the law, an inebriated individual
in the customary crowd of spectators
sang out. " That's right, give it to him,
old gimlet-eye." " Who isthat ?" sternly
demanded the court, his sinister eye in
dignantly flashing lire. "It's the old
hoss. Judge." exclaimed the offender
against " the peace and dignity of th
State." "Mr. Sheriff," promptly re
sponded the dignitary with the italic eye,
" take that old horse to the stable, lock
him up, and keep him without hay, oats,
or drink for twenty-four hours," which
mandate was forthwith obeyed.
A century ago out 1,000,000 out of
27,000,000 souls forming the population
of'France could read and write. Now
education is universah
5MBEE 27, 1883.
A "WHISTLING CURIOSITY.
rhc Romantic Story of Whistling
Jack as He Tells it Himself.
In the rear of 450 Ninth avenue, ihil
city, says the New York Newt, is a di
lapidated building knovs as the " Rook
. sry." Here it is that a well-known
character eatsi^feepg and whistles.
George W. Johnson is a gentleman of
color, sbout thirty-five years of age.
ife is variously known as "Johnson's
band," "Whistling Bill," "Whistling
? .Charley*' and "Whistling Jack." Why
'he has never been styled Whistling
I George will forever remain a mystery,
i As Whistling Jack he is better known in
this vicinity. Everybody knows him,
j but few have heard his story. Readers
of the Newa have seen him on the ferry
boats, on the cars, in the theatre and on
i the street. They have been charmed by
him while from his screwed up lips he
! has discoursed harmony that rivaled the
' sweetest toots of Levy or Arbuckle.
Popular melodies, like * "Swanee
j River," "Way Down in Dixie," "The
J Last Rose of Summer," or "The Harp
that Once," have been invested with by
his peculiar talent with irresistible sweet
ness, and ho can give the "Mocking
Bird" and its trills and variations with ?
the accuracy, expression and finesse 'of
Ole Bull. His story, substantially as he
told it to a reporter, is given as follows:
Thirty-seven years ago Whistling Jack
was born in slavery on the estate of Wil
liam W- Mallory, at Hanover Junction,
Hanover county, Virginia. His parents
and grandparents had been brought to
this country by English slave traders
from Africa. His former owner and mas
ter, Mallory, was captain of the guards
who stood around the scaffold on which
John Brown was hung. Mallory had in
all twenty-seven slaves.. Hale and
hearty, and able to read without glasses,
Whistling Jack's grandmother is living
at Chesterfield, Va. She is now 105
years of age, and was taught to read Eng
lish when in her seventy-first year. It is
said that she is the only one in this
country who can speak her native, or
African tongue. A family tradition is
that her husband was a prince of a Sene
gambian tribe. In the year 1808 he
was taken captive, with his wife, and
while" in transport to this country, where
he had been sold to slavery, he was
drowned while attempting to escape.
When General Wilson made his historic
raid on Harrisburg, Va., in 1862, Whis
tling Jack was one of thosc.who crossed the
line and joined him. He remained in
the anqy until the war was over. After
the war Whistling Jack drifted as far
East as Lynn, Mass., where he attended
school for three years. The principal of
the school was John Batchclder, and one
of bis schoolmates was Roland G. Upshur,
who afterward became Mayor of Lynn.
After a few years of schooling Whis
tling Jack returned to Virginia. His su
perior education, modest as it was, gave
him a prestige and influence with his col
ored fellow-citizens. He had political
aspirations, and they were gratified when,
in 1871, he was elected a member of the
Virginia legislature. He was returned to
the assembly for another term by a hand
some majority, and, in 187*1, his ambition
led him to accept r. nomination for Con
gress. He was defeated by W. W. Ayres.
After that Whistling Jack, determined to
have nothing more to do with politics,
again wended his way North. The sum
mer of 1874 found him the proprietor of
an ice-cream saloon at Long Branch. His
face and the little hand-cart loaded with
ice-cream and cake, which he trundled
along the beach, became familiar to the
visitors at the Branch in a short time.
Near the close of the season Jack accepted
the situation offered him by N. B. C.
lloosac, secretary of the society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. He is
next found working for the society as
portec, at $75 per month. When less
than a year in the service of Bergh, Jack
was afflicted with rheumatism, and being
confined to his bed for several weeks, lost
Walking down Eighth avenue one day
shortly after his convalescence, Jack was
whistling that melancholv air: "Out in
this Cold World, Out in the Street."
The tune was very appropriate to his case
and condition, as Jack was then looking
for work. Ed. Lane, then the proprietor
of a livery stable on Fifteenth street,
near Eighth avenue, was standing on the
corner as Jack happened along, and was
charmed by the whistle. Accosting the
whistler, he said: "If you come with
me to-night, you can get ten dollars for
that wind of yours." Jack, after some
persuasion, promised to be on hand at
8 o'clock, lie kept his promise, and
was conducted by Mr. Lane to a saloon
on the corner of Fifteenth street and
Eighth avenue. There he met a well
known ex-judge, an ex-sheriff, a gentle
man who is now a prominent rcpresenta
tive of this government in Europe, and
several other well-known men about
town. When the jollification there was
at itshight, Whistling Jack was intro
duced, and he so pleased the crowd that
he was made to whistle all night. His
hat was taken from his head at the
end of each selection and when
he arrived home next morning
and counted the wealth that had been
thrust into his pockets he was richer by
$70.71 than when he left his lodgings the
night before. .Many of the same party
were to have an excursion the next night
to Gravesend. Whistling Jack was hunted
up and brought a!oni?r. There were girls
ill the party, and a band was taken along
in the stages. The band proved to be in
competent for dance music, and Whist
ling Jack was called upon. The girls
were delighted with his whistling, and
at their suggestion the band was dis
missed. Whistling Jack whistled from
0 p. >f. until 5 .\. m. One of the girls
took his hat around and realized $101.01
for his night's music.
After that Whistling .lack devoted
himself to the business of whistling for
a living. He has been in Europe and
has amused many of the nobility. He
sleeps by day and by night he wanders
in search of an appreciative audience.
Last winter he traveled with a stock
company through the West, and the
newspapers spoke of him as the attrac
tion of the show.
Whistling Jack is no longer poor. In
answer to a question of a reporter as to
whether he had saved any money, he pro
duced three bank books representing
$112,000 to his credit.
Lieutenant John White says that on
his voyage to China, when his ship was
anchored at the mouth of the river Cam
boya, the sailors were much astonished
at she sounds that issued from the
water, resembling the Imss of an organ
mingled with the tones of a bell, the
croaking of an enormous frog and the
clang of an immense harp. These sounds
swelled into a gentle chorus on both
sides of the ship and were attributed by
the interpreter to a school of fish. A
similar occurrence in the South Sea was
described by Baron Humboldt. The
sailors were greatly terrified at about
7 o'clock in the evening by an extra
ordinary noise in the air. like the beating
of tambourines, followed by sounds
which resembled the escape of air from
boiling liquid. At !' o'clock these
strange sounds, which it was judged,
proceeded from a school of scioenoides,
ceased. The gizzard shad, known sci
entifically as the lorosome, utters a dis
tinct, vibratory, whining sound. The
mullet utters a distinct note, often quite
prolonged and accompanied by a dis
charge of air-bubbles,?Demtr Tribune,
A Michigan girl told her young man
that she would never marry him until he
was worth $100,000. So he started out
with a brave heart to make it.
"How arc you getting on, Georgej"
she asked, at the expiration of* a few
'""Well," George'said, hopefully, "I
have saved up $22."
The girl dropped her eyelashes and
blushingly remarked: "I.reckon that's
near enough, George."
"That's Enough?Stand Down!"
In a contest over a will a certain wit
ness was giving his evidence as to the
disposition of the testatoT.
"Was he. a good-natured man?" asked
." Not altogether;"
"Was he cross, then?"
"Well; yes, rather., in places."
"Was he very cross?"
"How cross was he? Give us an ex
lmple of his disposition."
"Well, sir, he was that-cross that
when he called up the cows at milking
time it made the milk sour."
"That's enough! Stand down 1"?
A fanner, living a few miles from Aus
tin, whose wife was troubled with an
aching tooth, decided to come in town
with her for the purpose of having it ex
tracted. The pair took a seat in the
cars, and soon after the train started the
farmer walked forward into the smoking
car, telling his wife he would be back di
rectly. While her husband was absent
the conductor came leisurely along,
ticket punch in hand, and approaching
the old lady, reached over for-her ticket,
whereupon the victim of the toothache
opened her mouth and taught him, say
"You needn't mind giving me chloro
form, doctor; just pull it right out, any
how. I can stand it, and when John
comes back he'll settle with* yer."?Sift
Rules for the Limekiln Club.
Judge Chewso arose to nsk .for infor
mation. He wanted to know how strong
the fraternal ties of such a club could be
considered. How far was he obligated?
" Brother Chewso," replied the presi
dent, "I will read de follerin' fur your
"1. All meet hcah on terms of equal
ity, but de member who blacks stoves
an' saws wood am not 'spected to be so
familiar as to ask de barber airnin' $17
per week to lend him his toof-pick.
"2. If you find a brudder in distress,
aid.him. Dar am .no pertickler objec
shun to takin' a mortgage on his stove in
case he wants to borroy fo' dollars in
cash, but give him a lcetle show befo'
"3. Excuse a brudder's faults as fur
as you kin, bu^arter he has spit on your
butes about tnWWWhes you kin conclude
dat he aches to be licked.
"4. Speak well of each odder; avoid
wrangles an' slander; be ready to give
good advice; encourage sobriety and in
dustry, but doan' let a man kick yer dog
simply because he sits on de stool uex'
you in Paradise Hall."?Detroit Free
Saved Himself by Cutting Of* a Limb.
If there was anything Father Boggles
really delighted in, it was to spin a yarn
about the sharpness of.his boy Tom.
'' Ah," said Boggles one day, as he had
fairly fixed his auditor, " To l is the
most remarkable boy ever set your eyes
on. He's like his old dad: you can no
more sarcumvent him than you can catch
a wcescl asleep. You recollect that
choice apple-tree by the hedge? Wed, I
forbid Tom touchin' those apples; but
he would get 'em in spite of me. One
day I caught the young scapegrace up in
the tree stuftin' his pockets with the
fruit, and I determined this time to
punish him for it.
"'Thomas, my son,' says I, 'come
down.' I thought I'd be a sort of per
suasive, so it would fetch him; but he
smelt a rat and didn't budge an inch.
" ' I can't, dad,' says he, 'these apples
are in the way.'
"'Tom,' 1 continued, sternly, 'come
down this minit', or I'll cut down the
tree, and let yer fall.'
" You see my poor limbs wouldn't per
mit my sliinnin' alter the boy.
" ' Oh. no, you won't, dad,' says Tom.
' Only think how you'd mourn if you
couldn't sell the apples.1
"That was too much to have my own
boy accuse me of such parsimony. So
what does 1 do but get an ax. and cut
away at the bottom of the tree.
" 'Tom?Thomas,' I cried, as the tree
was about half cut off. ' will you come
down now, and save yourself?"
"'Never mind, dad,' sai.l he, 'I'm
"It was no use! I couldn't briug him
down that way. So I chopped away at
the tree till it began to sway, and fell to
" What! and crushed your own boy?"
ejaculated his horrified listeners.
"Not by a long chalk," said old Bog
gles, winking knowingly. " You couldn't
get over Tom in any such way. What had
he done but crawled out on a limb; and
while 1 was choppin' at the bottom o'
the tree he had been cutting oil the limb
with his jack-knife, and when the tree
fell he was still up there on the limb!''
11 u per IN Itequcftt.
"Come hither, Beryl."
Stuyvesunt Nutwood spoke in kindly
tones to his daughter, and yet the girl
noticed, or imagined that she did, a
slight trenW in his voice, but, thinking
it. was due to the involuntary loosening
of his false teeth, gave the matter no
further attention. She crossed the room
to where her father was sitting in his
great arm chair beside the window.
Beryl had grown up on her father's
farm almost without society, but not with
out education, for every year she had at
tended the seminary at Acornville, and
in her eighteenth year had graduated
?with all the honors and a percale dress.
And then she had gone back to the farm
again, but somehow her life there was not
as satisfactory as before. Then; were
times when Beryl felt a sense of ennui
mixed with an indefinite feeling of rest
lessness that would cause her to wander
aimlessly around the place in a reverie
until recalled to the things of this world
by stepping on her ankle. But though
she strove to conceal, even from herself,
tin: real cause of this feeling, her heart
would ever ami anon give a great throb
as she thought of Hupert Hollingsworth,
who was now a struggling lawyer in a
Western town. There had been no words
of love between them, but on the day3
Hupert graduated they had met for the
last time. and. standing beneath the shade
of a grand old oak that guarded the en
trance to the college campus. Hupert had
taken Beryl's hand in his and said to her,
while his dark brown eyes seemed look
ing into her very soul: "You will not
forget me entirely, Miss Stuyvesant.?."
"I shall never forget you,"she replied,
with grave earnestness, "as long as I
He had once stepped on her toes.
When Beryl had crossed the room her
father motioned bet to a seat by his side,
and as she cuddled up cosily on a has
lock and, placing ner arms upon her
knees, looked up in his face with a won
dering expression in her great bl?e eyes,
Stuyvesant Nutwood felt a great thrill ol 1
sorrow in the knowledge that one day
this beautiful girl, with all her wealth of
love and bandoline, would leave him for
"I have received a letter from Rupert
Hollingsworth, Beryl," he said.
The girl gave a sudden start, and a
wave of crimson swept over the pure,
sweet face, but she did not apeak.
"Can you not guess," he continued,
"what the purport of his letter is?"
Beryl could no longer look in her
father's face. She knew full well why
Rupert Hollingsworth had written.
He had gone away onlv two years be
fore, in all the vigor of* his glad man
hood, and his splendid talents bad gained
for him success where others had failed.
And now, crowned with the laurel
wreath of victory, he had written to
her father for permission to urge his
suit with her.j She knew all this full
well, and yet 'when her father asked her
the question to which her heart had
already given answer, sho did not reply.
"You could never guess, little one,"
said Stuyvesant Nutwood, a merry
twinkle in his eyes, "why Rupert has
written. Do you think you could?"
A deeper blush overspread the pretty
"But I will tell you," he continued,
"because you two were at college to
gether. Still, perhaps I had better be
silent"?and again the laughing light
came into her father's eyes.
"Tell me, papa," whispered Beryl, no
longer able to conceal her eagerness,
"why he has written."
"He wants something," was the reply.
"Can you not guess what it is?"
Every fiber of Beryl's being is throb
bing with expectancy now. The sun has
passed from sight, and great bands of
,rosy light that stream up from below the
horizon's rim cast a strange halo ovorthe
silent earth. Beryl feels the solemn in
fluences of the twilight hour, but no
word comes from her lips.
"Can you not guess," repeats her father,
"what Rupert Hollingsworth desires?"
For an instant she does not reply. To
answer the question in the affirmative
would seem bold and forward, and yet
can she deny, even to herself, a -knowl
edge of what Rupert desires? So she
simply says to her father: "Tell me what
Bending tenderly over his daughter,
Stuyvesant Nutwood whispers within
finite pathos in her ear: "Twenty-five
dollars to get home with."?Ghicagt
A Chinese Quack Doctor.
A quack medicine-dealer was offering
to a crowd nostrums for every complaint,
says a correspondent in a letter from
Hong Kong. This gentleman whose
stock-in-trade consisted of a few bottles,
had a number of diagrams purporting to
represent the course of illnesses in the
?human body. As a matter of fact, they
were absolute nonsense, but the good
Chinese who stood with open mouths
around him and listened with wonder to
all he said knew no better, so that for all.
practical purposes his pictures were good
enough. Curiously enough, however, he
was most eloquent upon a medicine
which I have since found has just made its
appearance in England under a patented
name?namely, Menthol. He declared
it would cure all nervous diseases if
rubbed into the skin. Our chemists and
druggists now advertise it as an antidote
to neuralgia; so that, after all, the
Chinese quack doctor was not such a
rogue as he looked. The price of his
drugs was high. He had nothing under
two-pence, which is a large sum among
the peasants in China. But he sold
great numbers of packets and did a roar
ing trade for hours. I had presently an
opportunity of seeing how little difference
existed between him and the recognized
I professors of Chinese medicine, being
I taken by the learned Dr. Eitler to a
I native hospital. Here, seated on three
I little stools at three tables, sat the
i "faculty" waiting for patients. The
indigent crowd as it came in selected
its own physician and went to hini.
Then ensued a species of treatment
which was about as curious as can
! well be imagined. The Chinese have a
1 theory that there is a different pulse in
j every limb. They also hold that all
; complaints arc connected with either
: fire, air or water. And they place im
! mense faith in the benefit to be derived
from puncturing any affected part with
' a long needle. So it came about that
j when a man entered and consulted one
i of the "faculty" about a pain in his leg
?probably rheumatic in its nature?the
learned man, after glaring at him for
some time through an enormous pair
of goggles, proceeded to feel for his
"ankle pulse," which when found to
j his satisfaction indicated some "/cry won
derful facts. The man was suffering,
, he remarked, from "lire" in the leg,
. and must be punctured; saying which
I he stirred up the limb with at long nee
j die, till I, who looked on only, felt posi
! lively ill. This operation completed, he
produced a tiny plaster, probably an inch
, and a half square, and giving it to the
man told him to put it on the legal
night. The patient, who seemed to have
perfect confidence in the doctor, hobbled
: off, aud the turn of the next victim then
came. He had a pain in the head, prob
ably having smoked ton much opium or
drank too much samtschu. Tue doctor
was quite equal to the occasion. He
seized hi? victim by the head, aud taking
, h small iron rod proceeded to rub his
' neck till he nude an abrasion at least an
inch square. Then he rubbed at another
spot, and yet another, till the skin was
olT in three places. This was all. The
patient was told to go. He, too, was
suffering from "lire.*' Yet there was
no sound of a murmur. The operator evi
dently was considered a very clever per
son, inside the hospi.al the wards seemed
to be in excellent condition. The patients
there miirht have gone to a European
hospital hail they so chosen: but they
preferred the doctoring of their own
people, who, from all 1 heard, are cer
tainly very clever at putting fractures or
dislocations right. I went into the
pharmacy and found the medicines were
nearly all vegetable?one, the rind of
oranges, being in great request. Hut
everything seemed harmless enough; and
if the patients die 1 should say they are
killed by the disease and not by the doc
tors, which is more than can be averred
I of every English hospital. One thing I
noted, however, and it was that the
I notions of anatomy were very vague at
this place of healing, for all the diagrams
; I saw were woefully wrong, anil could
; not have existed an hour had thi-Chinese
surgeons ever examined a dead subject
A Queer Russian Boar.
j A novel Russian boat is a peculiar
i form o' boat similar to the catamaran,
j It consists of two independent hubs, in
j the center of each of which is an open
ing in which the traveler thrusts his feet.
When standing he propels himself by the
aid of a long two-bladed paddle, and
regulates the distance between the two
boats by manipulating the ropes which
lead from each bow to the middle of the
paddle. When tired he brings the boats
alongside one nnother, places 1 ue cross
bars in position, elevates his umbrella for
a sail, and thus skims swiftly over the
The general understanding is that a pa
tient is not out of danger until the doc
tor has been discharged.?Picayune,
ffidf ?imf5 nut ffcawrraf.
SPECIAL REQUESTSV_ ^
1. All chancres in advertisements marrf
reach ns o?^Friday.
2. In writiug to this office on bnainesa
a'w.iys give your name a??J postoffice ad
Articles for pnb?c.V.?; should be vrtli
ten in a clear, legible hand, and ou oalyofi??j
side of the page.
4. Burinjss letters and comonflkationr
to be published should be written on separat*
sheets, and the object of each clearly in
dicated by necessary note whed required.
DONE WITH NEATNESS AND DISPATCH
PUMPKIN PI KS?
Gentle stranger, let me ask;''?'
Did you ever stop to bask
In the atmosphere codling,
When a maiden fair I? looking,
Askancely from the depths1
Of her limpid, azure eyjes??
As she shoves in the big oven
Those delicious pumpkin pie*rf
Ah, what ecatacies appealing
As aromas gently stealing,
Permeate the rural kitchen
Whose confines hold a lair witch in,
Fascinating, dainty, rare*,
To intoxicated eyes I
'Tis the maiden, flow laden,
Manipulator of the piss.
Pumpkin pies 1 What meuwriearias.
Even to the sunny skies,
As .?-he opens to your "eyes
The big oven she did shove la
Those delicious pumpkin pie*
Golden orbs of lusCiooe glory t
Never had the world a etory
Fairer to the heart of man",
Ay! tobt arts of mortal clan.
Than the manuscript in yellow
Hot and toothsome 'neath your eycsl ? r>,
And I fain would long to spell, oh,
Worldly bliss?in pumpkin pies. .
Quarter, naif, the wholo, oh, give itl
I could dwell in bliss and live it
In ah hour such as this,
Ah, forevermpre, I wi?? .. ^
Sitting in the plea-ant kitchen
Whose confines hold a fair witch in,
Fascinating, dainty, rare,
Askancely glanoing from her eyes, ?
* At me, over pumpkin pies.
?H. S. Keller, in Detroit Free Press.
. PUNGENT PAMGBAPHS,
A flourishing genius?The writing-mas-,
The dog has queer taste in matters<4*-?
dress. He wears -his pants^Uiiia
A Brooklyn landlady calledjber boarder
?Thoenix" because he rises from the
hashes and flies. ? i
Herbert Spencer's works |ac appearing
in Japanese. We thought we nad no
ticed little extracts, of them on tea chests..
Gilpik reading in a paper that "facts
are stubborn things,'' says there's no
particle of doubt but that hjs wife is a
"Overcome by gas" is the heacUfett-,.
on a daily paper. $$?7e know, those tre
mendous gas-bills" would^kill -somebody *
sooner or later.?-?oiton Bulletin,
? ' Whemasked what she had for dinner,
she leplied "cold tongue?' And he
judged, by her'matfncr, that there would
be some of it left for supper.?Chicago
Sun. * .
" For the noblest man that lives there
still remains a conflict," sighed thephi
lospher, as ho rolled.up his sleeves pre
paratory to carving a boarding-house
. Thoy thought they heard burglars in
the house last week, and In going down
stairs to investigate, Bibbs said to his wife:
"You go tirst; it's a mean man that would
shoot a woman."?Boston Budget.
Probably the meanest thing that a
man ever said was uttered by Fogg' to
day. Being asked Iiis idea of the best
remedy for polygamy, he promptly re
plied, "Mrs. Fogg."?Boston Transcript,
" Is this your dog, John ?" "No; he
belongs to 'Squire Smith. And between
you and me he's a deal smarter than his
owner." "Yes; there are dogs of that
sort. I have had several myself."?
As a part of the marriage ceremony in
Servia, the bride has to hold a piece of
sugar between her lips as a fign that she
will speak little and sweetly during her
married life. The sugar soon melts away.
"The surest way to take cold, said a
distinguished physician, is to "hug the
stove." Young men who go a courting
on Sunday nights should remember this
and not spend all their time hugging the
A Yankee has invented a new pro
cess for lasting boots and shoes. If he
can last a ten-year-old boy's shoes so
that they will last two weeks without re
quiring half-soling he should open a
branch office in this town.?Norristovm
Matthew Arnold doesn't like para
graphs, and says American newspapers
nave a fragmentary look to him. After
the American newspapers get through
with Matthew, he will have a fragmen
tary look to his English friends.?Mer
"Oh, will he bite?" exclaimed one of
Middletown's sweetest girls, with a look
of alarm, when she saw one of the danc*
ing bears on the street the other day.
"No," said her escort, "he cannot bite?
he is muzzled; but he can hug." "Oh,"
she said, with a distracting smile, "I
don't mind that."?Middletown Trans
Said the robber, '"No family jewels?nonoi"
"None," :a.da fearless la- iy, "hut one1?
A carbuncle?the petting a fortune cost;
But 'tis well secured and cannot bo lost."
" Quiek! hand me the jewel, or els.; you shall
Said the robber, with fiercely (ladling eye.
"1 can't.'' said the Ind.v, with smiling reixjso?
"The carbuncle's fas;?on my husband'*
nose." ? The. Judge.
Americans are good listeners, says the
New York World, Of course they are,
and this habit of listening is encouraged
by the fart that the dividing walls of
houses are nowadays built so thin that by
putting your ear to the wall you can hear
what the couple in the next house say
when thev are lighting with each other.
? Philadelphia Chronicle.
"1 have a strong following," remarked
the burglar, as lu; shot down the alley
just ahead of a detective, two policemen,
a constable, and a dozen stray citizens,
"and I think if 1 can get out of town
ahead of my ticket I'm all right in the
country." Ami so he was, for he ran
into a barbell wir?; fence at the corpora
tion limit ami they counted him in.?
THE EDITOll and If IS DAUOHTER.
Unto her pa, with face serene,
Said one of (lotham's fairest daughters:
" What does this old expression mean?
This ' easting bn ad upon the waters?' "
Her father, with a soft < aress,
Replied, with earnestness surprising:
" My dear, 'tis nothing more nor less
Than most judicious advertising." i
?.Wie York Journal
Throw up Your Chin.
The whole secret of standing and
walking eroct consists in keeping the
chin well away from your breast. This
throws the head upward and backward,
and the shoulders will naturally settle
backward and in their true pssition.
Those who stoop in walking generally
look downward. The proper way is to
look straight ahead, upon the same level
with your eyes, or if you are inclined to
stoop, until that tendency is overcome,
look nither above than below the level.
Mountaineers are said to be "as straight
as an arrow," and the reason is because
they ure obliged to look upward so
much. It is simply impossible to stoop
in walking if you will heed and practice
this rule. You will notice that nil round
shouldered persons garry the chin near
the breast and pointed downward.