Newspaper Page Text
BOYS WILL BE BOYS.
Tho Bar. Epimenidcs Morton is tho editor
uc3 proprietor of the Weekly' H&liomjah
News, a journal which ably defends its creed
and' urges-its subscribers to pay up. . During
many nseful yews the- BevY Epimenidea was
a circnit rider, and many a man who is now
enjoying the comforts "which tho Gospel
brings into a family, was 'seized by him in
the early dava and inducod to take shelter
within the fbld;- - ' If ' '
? Several days ago. Mr. Anthony Biddle?aa
goodVihurch member a3 over lived?accom
panied, by his little boy, called on Mr. Mor
ton. Tho visitors were cordially received
into tho office.
"Why, my dear old friend," said the
editor, "you don't know how happy I am to
see yon. Ah, and you liavo brought your
little ' boy. What a fino little, fellow he is.
Never mind, that's all right, I assure you."
The fine little fellow had shoved a bottle
of ink off tho tablo. ??? ,.
"Henry. I am astonished at yon," said
Mr. Biddlo. " What made you do that?"
. M Bidn't go to do it?" tho boy replied.
" Well, you must bo more particular, or I
never will let you go auywhero with me
" Do not scold the littlo man, brother
Biddle, for boys will bo boys. By the way,
how did you like niy article on tho 'Bap
tism of tho (Saints, or tho Footprints of John
Made Clear?'"_' ' '
??1 ? ami ncbT."".?,? ?
"Don't you think that his footsleps were
indeed made clear ?"
"Perfectly so," Mr. Biddlo politely lied,
for ho had not read the article.
"I am glad to hear you?oh, that makes
no difference. I assure you."
- Tho boy hod droppod the editor's scissor*
inxo tho Bpittocn.
"My gracious, Henry 1" exclaimed Mr.
Biddlo, seizing tho boy by the arm, " what
made you do that ?"
"Yoq are the worst child I ever aaw.
Why don't yon kcop your hands off things ?"
'Cause I will."
"Oh," said tho patient oditor, "boys will
The Rev. Epimonides Morton is ono of th -
moat patient and uolf-aacrificing ihju in the
world, and is so careful of other people's
feeling*) that he entirely furgcti that whiek
is duo himself.
"Ye?," ho repeated, "boys will bo boys.
I think that it is our duty to stand up for
tho faith, Brother Biddlo." Wo aro too apt j
to forget how precious it is, and how our
noble ancestors had to fight to maintain it.
W* tvould think moro of it if wo wero com
pelled to sne&k out into the wooda and
there. Brother Biddlo, do not Jerk him
around that way." -
. The hoy had npaet a bottle of mucilago on
a new, gilt-edged Bible. .....
"Henry!" exclaimed tho irato father,
"yon shall ncvor go anywhere- with mo
again. Iam going to tell your mother-"that
you are not St-io.go..anywhere. Now-just
look what you'vo done?ruined that Bible
"What made, you do it, say ?"
" Didn't go to."
"Sit right down there, now, and keep
your hands to yourself."
"Oli, the book is not injured." said th'e
editor, as ho. proceeded to wipe ofr the
mucilago. "Boys will bo boys.^1 remem
ber very well when I was r. bpyV
" Brother Morton, what aro yon dci^g
with that big polo standing there in tho
corner?" . ?>
"Tint, my dear Brother Biddlo; is a sap
ling that grew on the ,sito of an old church,
where I preached my .first sernion. The
house was longsinco toru.awny and this hick
dry sapling grew up whero tho pulpit used
to stand. An old f; i'>?/d of mine cut it down
aovoral days c^o, .ti iiniiiL-v1 Off tho branches
and brought it to r-o.;.. I prize i: very high?
ly, I assure you. I um-rao?1 dor.'tslap him."
Tho boy had turn-.'d ov.r iiio spittoon.
. "I'll whip ypS fur that ju^t as "soon as 1
gotyou"borne, yr-u 'good-fi'r-nothing thing.
Just look there h'atr on tho" carpet. What
modo.yon do it, say??'.. . ? . s
"Didn't go. to." . . . .' ? j.,!
"Wliycan't you sit etill? What makos yon
Want to tramp around that way, say?"
" Ouch, now don't 1" ?
"Don't shake him that way, Brother Bid
?lo. Buys will ,bo boys in spite of every
thing we can do."
" I'm going' to whip him just as aooa as I
get hiaj homo."
"Oh, I wouldn't do that."
"Yds, I will. It is timo ho was learning
how to behave himself."
Tho preacher and visitor soon forgot tho
boy's depredations and entered into an inter
esting discussion of tho article which made
John's footprints clo;;r.. The boy got up,
crossed tho room and began to examine tho
" Henry, dou't try to lift that polo."
" He can't hurt it, Brother Biddlo/
"But he Can't do it any good. Yes. I qnito
agree with you and most highly appreoiato
your Ioto of faith."
The boy;lifted tho polo.
"I am glad to hoar you say?"
Wh&ck 1 The polo had cracked tho oditor
on tho head.
"My goodness alivo 1" exclaimed tho visi
tor, "oprrrigiuy to his'fret ami as.ii.>Uing tho
oditor to rise. " Aro you badly hurt, Broth
Tho editor's faco had assumed an expres
sion of agony. It was sonio timo before ho
could Bpoak. Then ho attempted to say
something about boys being boys. When
tho visitor had draggod tho boy down stairs,
the editor tenderly touched a bump on the
top of his bald bead and groanod.?[Arkau
eaw Traveler*; t
Undo Mose met Mr3. Lindley Murray.
" How am your sou coming on ?" asked tho
"Ho is doing very'well.' Ho is a student
at tho medical department of tho University
" You don' tolo mo so?"
"Yob, and ho will graduate next year." ?
"And den ho will be a doctor?"
"Yes, Undo Mose."
" Why, do Lor', your son am too young to
bo a surQ enough doctor. I reckon ho is
only a doctor for childruns."
Is tho World Growing Better?
" Tho world iB a groat doal moro wicked
than it was when I was a boy."
" Oh, that's all stuff and nonsense. It's
growing better every day."
"I'd like to Bee you provo it."
"I can do it."
M Como on with your evidonco."
"Well, sometime ago I inadvertently left
tin umbrella in a hotel hat-rack, and found
it there on my return a day or two after
ward", and it was a silk one. *,oo."
" Was it raining at tho timo?"
"Well?or?no, I bcliovo not."?[National
A Profitable Tip.
Mrs. McEwon: "Did you tip that waiter,
Mr. McEwen: "Yes; didn't you soo mo
givo hira a quarter just beforo ho went for
tho check ? But ho tipped mo back.
Mrs. McEwou: " A waiter tip you, Heuryl"
Mr. McEwen: "Certainly. Ho tipped
mo tho wink when ho handed mean cighty
fivo cent chock for a dollar-and-a-half lun
?'What do thoso letters stand for?" asked
a curious wifo of hor husband, as sho
looked at hid Masonic seal. " Well, really,
my love," ho replied encouragingly, "I
presume it is becauso thoy can't sit down."
8ho postponed further questioning.?[Mer
A Sore Thing of It.
" What interest can you havo in reading
the list of prizes in the Havana lottery? You
never buy any tickets," asked Kosciusko
Murphy, on seeing Col. Ycrger perusing a
" I know that I never buy a ticket, but I
have mor? real enjoyment than if I did,"
replied Col. Yergor.
" How is that?"
:' You see, I pick out a number. H it
wins I am as much tickled as a man can be,
ami go on a tear. If my number don't win,
then I havo saved the price of the ticket, and;
I celobrato my escape with tho mono? 1 havo j
saved. I am bound to win cither way. Ij
can't bo beat."?[Texas Siftings.
" To sum it up in a few words," said Sam
Jones recently, " a dudo is a jackass." Mr.
Jones is surely mistaken. Whilo a dude is
not distinguished for brain, tho other aui-j
mal is protty much all brayiu'.?Biugham-j
IN THE SEA'S ABYSMAL DEPTHS.
A Walk Amid Coral Groves?Shelly Form?
Found. In Deep-Sea Mud?low Lift,
The results of deep-sea dredging tend to
show.that.tho ocean bottom, which has
been supposed io be in absolute darkness,
is lighted by brilliant phosphorescence. I
believe that if we conld .find ourselves
upon the bed of the sea in 2,000 fathoms,
we should see brilliant .white lights, cast
ing intense shadows, illuminating the
bottom in an effectual manner. The
groves of coral would shine with this
light, shrimp.and fishes would dart about,
spectre-like, over an Illuminated pathway,
each carrying Iiis own lamp, and tho
whole ground would be one glow of phos
phorescent light. The bottom .animals
have eyes, and hence they have use for
theiri, for nature' supports no useless
Organ. One thing that is certain is that
"there is practically no glimmer of sunlight
in these gtent abysmal depths; and urjess
we adnvtrthat there is some such light as
T have mentioned, the presence of. eyes
' can not be explained. Certain animals rc
'tarn a phosphorescent luster even after
being brought to the surface, andit seems
but natural to conclude that in this way
the ocean bottom is lighted.
' TTIE TKEASU1JES OF THE DEPTHS.
The dredge comes up laden With its
precious- load of deep-sea treasures, and
the;envkusiastlc naturalists crowd around
to explore the contents. Mixed up in a
mass of mud are brilliant red starfishes,
deep purple sea pods, delicate pink sea
anemone-, pure white holpthurians, and
ugly black fishes, all peculiar in many
respects.' While tlw naturalists are busy
getting the animals ready for us to see,
let us take a bit of the mud into the latv
oratory and examine it through the
microscope It will he found to be com
posed of countless numbers of micro
scopic shells, the testoj of Foraminifera.
They are usually composed of carbonate,
of lime, but there are silicious species
also, and in the shallow waters, sandy
forms. Some are as ' smooth arid
glossy as the best-glazed chinaware,
showing beautiful concentric rings
of different hues, while others are rough
and lobed in a manner which defies des
cription. Still othors are the most beau
tiful shade of pink, and some present in
color a most delicate chocolate brown.
Wo find them tubular, coiled, crown
shaped, spherical, and oval, and in masses
of lobes upon lobes.
These beautiful shelly forms are allied
to Amosbai, so common in fresh water and
on damp leaves. They are one-nelled and
simple, the lowest forms of animal life,
yet capable of producing these regular
and perfect shells. These are the creatures
which have formed the English chalk
cliffs. Moreover, they aro at this mo ..oi.t
falling from the surfaco of the sea in a
continual shower upon the great ocean
abysses, and in conjunction with the forms
living on the ocean bottom, are forming
vast layers of an oozy, clayey mud, which,
in the proper conditions, would produce
groat strata of chalk.
LIFE ES ITS SIMPLEST FORM.
The animal inhabitant is very simple,
being without any organ, yet capable of
performing all the necessary duties of life!
They can move without muscles, eat with
out a mouth, ligest without a stomach,
and feel without nerves. When they wish
to move they send out a pseudo-pod or
little foot, whieh maybe any part of the
elastic cell wall, and then the body
actually begins to flow from itself into
its foot. If the foot touches a digestible
object- another smaller one is sent out,
and the two surround'tho object, join to
gether, and thus two pseudo-pods become
one, with the object within. The ease
with which they can dispose of the cell
wall to accomplish this makes the whole
process seem bke magic. It is in these
animals that we see the first formation of
As we go higher these become fixed cs
permanent organs, and the next higher
step *f animal life has ono part of the
body fixed i.s a permanent mouth, anuthcr
as a stomach, while other definite parts
afford locomotive power. Here i.s life in
its simplest form, capable of using any
part of its body for a stomach and any
part for a mouth. Although so simple,
they arc wonderful because of their very
simplicity of structure, accompanied by
such complex powers.?Ralph S. Tare in
New York Sun.
One of Paris' Peculiar Institutions.
A correspondence of the Temps ha3beon
at the pains to ascertain that there are in
Paris at the present time no fewer than
twenty-three establishments which em
ploy a more or less considerable staff of
clerks in writing out addresses for circu
lars and advertisements to be sent through
the po3t. Although these establishments
arc, as a matter of course, busier than
usual at election time?having had to
writo out the addresses of uearl? 3,000,000
circnlars?they Beem to do a pretty good
business all the year round, their ordinary
work consisting for the most part of
addressing tradesmen's circulars. They
also keep a list of all the persons engaged
indifferent branches of trade compiled
from tho directory of Paris; so that when
anyone applies to them to send out a
circular, say to all the tailors of the town,
they are ready to begin writing the ad
Stranger still, thoy keep a list of those
who stammer, who have lost their hair,
or are subject to nny infirmity which ad
vertisers of patent medicinos, and so forth,
propose to cure. The writer of tho article
in The Temps says that he has the mis
fortune to be bald, and he is constantly
receiving circulars about some infallible
preparation or other for restoring him his
lost locks. Lists of this kind must neces
sarily be incomplete; but, by dint of per
severance, their compilers aro enabled to
classify most public men and get a good
deal of information in a haphazard way.
There aro even lists of persons with fal?e
teeth and with red hair.?Pall Mall Ga
A Rural Brldogroom's Marrlago Fee.
A "Washington clergyman recently re
ceived ?1,000 as a marriage fee. Tho writer
of this paragraph, whose father was a
Methodist minister, remembers the gusto
with which the old gentloman told the
story of marrying a couple in Rhode
Island, and after tho ceremony tho ap
proach of the rural bridegroom, who in
quired, "Well, parson, how much dew yew
ax me?" The minister replied, "The regu
lar fee is $2." Tho bridegroom, after
vainly searching his pockets, observed,
"look here, parson, I haven't got any
change, but I'll pay yer day arter to-mor
row in white beans." True to the word' he
appeared at the appointed time with his
bag of beans.?Exchange.
Musical Instrument of Aztec Origin.
A quaint musical instrument has been
found In Mexico. It is ip the shape of a
pipe, the body and head of which repre
sent the inferior extremities of a grotesque
figure of human form, terminating in a
leg, which, with the foot, forms tho
mouthpiece. The instrument is. supposed
to bo of Aztec origin.?Chicago Herald.
PRAIRIE DOGS IN CENTRAL PARK.
H.?w They Began Work Whoa First
Turned Loose In Their Quarter*.
[Cor. Boston Transcript.I '. .
When the dogs wero turned into the
enclosure,they frisked,about the space a
few moments in evident surprise. Then
they gathered in a knot for consultation,
in which one fat old patriarch seemed to
assume the leadership.' The .ojd , dog.
followed by. six other stout dogs, selected
a central spot in the enclosure and. began
to dig with "his forcpaws until in a minute
or two his head was out of sight. He
then stepped aside and-gravely sat on his
haunches while 'another dog began dig
ging in tho hole thus started. ? ^The re
maining live dogs stood in a row behind
the ono that was digging, while the un
occupied cbgs kept "together a short dis
As the . dirt -was thrown up from the
hole the dog that was Ucxt to the o:;e dig
ging gathered it in his paws and threw it
hack farther to those behind., Iu a shore
time the.firstdog. was out of sight. He
then stopped and took his position last in
the row, and the next one began digging.
The foreman continued to watch the
operations quietly or to inspect the pro
gress of tho work at short intervals. It
aid not take long .before the whole six
were doWa into the ground. Then the
workmen were rc enforced by another
detachment, until fiually the forty dogs
had disappeared,-with tho exception of the
old one, who stoodoutsidc.
i< Presently=there was a movement of the
earth at a distance of fifteen feet. A dog s
head appeared, and the subterranean
workmen all filed out of the gallery
.whickrthey had made. . The dogs seemed
highly pleased with the result of I heir
work, and after the foreman of the work
had inspected ihe lunnel several times the
colony then divided into groups, each
group selecting a spot and going tc work
to burrow on its own account. Five of
them with the old dog continued to work
at the first burrow. During the afternoon
each of the groups made its own home
under ground; and they all went to rest
iu these holes at night
Kow TiHt if I'liKiiioinl StnnJin?.
rU'N-le Bill's" New ' ot'< T.-rr.?.]
A new test of the real financial stand
ing of a man about town is to suilf at his
silk hat. If it smells like a mixture of
turpentine, hartshorn and several other
things, however faintly, then the wearer
is to be set down as not a dandy reckless
as to expenses, lie may be a good enough
chap in a general way. but he is guilty of
re uvenuting his hat bv means of n I'uid
sold by barbers in hottics. instead of hav
ing it blocked by his halter every two or
three days at at a cost ,'nj cents for each
treatment The new method imparts lus
ter, but leaves an indistinct odor, by
which the economizing can easily be de
. They tell a piece of fiction nbout a fel
low noted among a lot of swells for his
devices for living slowly at a low cost.
The tale runs that he called on a beautiful
young heiress, with a distant view of get
ting so near to her as to marry. At .the
end of the evening aud his departure she
lifted his gloved hand to withiu a foot of
her dainty nose, sniffed at it, and ex
claimed: "Ah; benzine!" Then she
brougtit her na=al tester close to his lap
pels, and remarked: "Naphtha!" Finally
she smelt of his glossy hat, and handed it
to him with the parting criticism: -< >h,
stove-pipe polish!" He did not call again.
A aiotltmlical Old Man.
Thomas M. Walter, architect of the
United States capttol extension and of
GIrard college, lives in Philadelphia aud
is described as the most methodical of
men. He is now engaged ou the new
city hall in that city. Although verging
closely on to ?0 years of age, he is yet
able to produce drawings the details of
which arc as carefully prepared as though
he were half as old as ho is. Punctually
every morning at '?) o'clock his tall figure
can be seen entering the city hall, and
just as punctually at 4:;;0 in the afternoon
he leaves. A watch can almost be regu
lated by his movemeuta His penman
ship, too, Is-indicative of his character
istics. Every letter is formed with the
utmost caro, and each word is separated
by precisely the same sized blank space
All his expenditures, even for postage
stamps, are carefully noted down in a
A Blob Find.
[Dotr jit Free Press.]
A broad tract of land iu LisboD, jVIc,
known for years as tho "Pine Woods, " is
now one of the most highly valued lots
of land in that state Two years ago it
could havo been bought for $S an acre,
and to day $25,000 an acre is its estimated
value. It is owned by E. N. Chamber
lain, who leased it a few months ago to
E H. Taylor, of Columbus, Ohio. Mr.
Chamberlain is to receive a royalty on the
product of a paint mine that it contains.
The value of the earth comprised in this
tract of land was discovered through ob
servation of the fact that the mud cling
ing to the wheels of vehicles driving
through it dried on like paint and was
removed with difficulty. The earth is
yellow, and has been pronounced by
Professor Stanley, of Eates college, to be
a variety of sienna.
India's Opium Production.
gThe amount of crude opium produced
in India in 1S33 is stated in recently pub
lished statistics to have been 0,071.120
pounds. The number of acres of land
used in its culture is given at 876,45 k
The use of opium among the poorer classes
is said to be rarely excessive, but the well
to-do people suffer greatly from overin
dulgence in it
Ou the Old English Post-ltoads.
Cycling ls giving to the present genera
tion of England a remarkable knowledge
of their own country, which railroads
were causing them to lose, and has in
fused fresh life into many once famous
inns on the old post-roads. The moot
popular cycling ground is tho great Bath
road, ana men frequently go 150 miles
and back. _
Can >'?> Lnngnr It.) Stld.
IN'ew York Tribuno.1
With the multiplication of elevated
railroads in all directions, allowing pas
sengers to look into all manner of bed
rooms and kitchens, and get correct, if
llecting, views of the sort of domestic
economy practiced by their occupants, it
can no longer be said that "one-half the
world knows not how tho other half
It dglngs for thn Poor.
: liiUulel|>h:a Call.]
One man's hobby is to Induce the
wealthy residents of cities to open their
spacious, ventilated homes during their
own summer absence as lodgings for the
poor. He argues that it is wicked iu the
millionaires to let thousands of innocent
children die unnecessarily in tenements.
The crop of raisins grown in California
has increased from 1,000 boxes nineteen
years ego to 400,000 the present season.
1VTEW VO?K QTOEE
HEW I OEK OTORE
Upward and Onward,
I Defy Competition
Always tlie Leafler of Low Prices!
Haviug Enlarged My Store it is Now
the Largest iu the City ami Kill
ed With Every Desirable
Goods Imaginable at'
the Very Lowest
p r ices:
To See is to Belie?e!
What We Say. We Do, or
It would take this entire paper to
enuinen.tc everything we keep to sell,
Our Stock embraces #00,000 worth
BOOT AND SHOES
HATS AND CAPS.
&c., &c, &e.
C A I.I. AI>? SEI: LS!
AND SAVE MOSEY!
CARPETS, "WINDOW SHADES and
LACE CURTAINS big specialties.
CALIFORNIA BLANKETS at a great
GUNS to suit any price. Come and See.
Don't fail to Come and See Us.
Oucc dealing will bring
New York Store.
J. M. MAYHEW.
C. Mayhew & Son,
COLUMBIA, S. C.
COLUMBIA MASBLE WORKS.
Manufacturers jI'and Dealers in
All Kiii'iis of/
AMERICAN AND ITALIAN
Mantel?, Monuments ami Tablets
furnished to nny design
at Lowest Prices.
Polished Granite Work, either Na
live or Foreign, to order.
Building Stone of all kind furnished.
Correspondence solicited with those
in want of any work in the above lin.?.
BUTTER FOR FAMILY USE
IX CONVENIENT PACKAGES.
I will have in another lot of the 10 pound
BEST GILT EDGE BUTTER,
such as save such general satisfaction, in
tima for Christmas. My patrons can leave
orders for'same, it will be sent home. Also
tubs of fine
at 24 cents delivered.
ONE CAE OF
at my yard. Price to suit times.
CORN, &C &C.,
BCcd Chestnut \>h, II? rd Coal.
BURNS EIGHT HOURS.
All goods delivered free.
John A. Hamilton.
Intending to change 'my busi
ness by the 1st of January I
will positively sell (comnienc
Mta from the 21st instant) all
the CROCKERY and TIN
WARE I have on hand regard-,
less of cost. Call around be
fore buying and he convinced
that this is no humbug.
2 doors South of Henry Kehn.
to ian l
Finest variety of Tropical Fruits iu Mar
ket. Fresh cargoes every week.
STOi'ders filled with dispatch.
C. BART & CO,
53, 55 and 57, Market Street,
oct 22-Cma CHARLESTON, S. C.
Tai MtihrMpok Gallen
OVER 13. R. OWEN'S, Russell Street,
Orangeburg, S. C.
To the Public : I have opened a first
class Photo Gallery. I would ho pleased to
have samples of work examined at Gallery.
All werk strickly first-class.
Photos of Groups and Babies a speciality
by Instant method. All Vowing Exteriors,
Dwellings, Horses, Hogs and Animal;
taken at short notice by instant method.
Old pictures copled/.uul enlarged. Special
attention given to this branch of work.
Pictures finished in water colors, India Ink
and Cravon. Also Photo taken from th?
size of smallest pocket to full lifo 3x3feet
All work done with neatness and dispatch.
Vcwing any where k> the Stab?. Special
discounts on all ordersover3l0.no. Give
me a call, 1 will assure satisfaction. All
work CASH ON DELIVERY. Postively
no credit. VAN ORSDELL, Artist,
July 17 Russell Street, Orangeburg, S. C.
\ LL PERSONS HAVING CLAIMS
iV against the Estate of Mrs. FRANCIS
R. WOLFE, deceased, will present them to
the undersigned on or before January 21,
l?se. J. A. WOLFE,
Dec 24-4* Executor