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MRS. SO-AND-SO'S HUSBAND.
Tweatieth Century Man Who Re
sents Being So Designated is Fool
Cincago Record-H erald.
Ta these days of the "club woman"
-&nd the "new woman" no man or
sense will get hot under the collar
because he is referred to as Mrs. So
and-So's husband, or because he is
characterized as a "zero in the domes
If he is old enough in matrimony to
have had the vanity of his earlier
years sufficiently crimped he will
meekly acknowledge that he is a
"zero," that his identity was surren
-dered at the altar. anm his individu
ality lost during the first year of his
It is not likely, then, that any well
seasoned benedict will be so foolish
as to take offence at the sarcastic
flings of Miss Genevieve Cooney. who
-spoke to the toast. -The Club Wo
man's Husband." at the banquet oi
the Gathvlic Woman's League. For
a woman who wears the prefix "Miss'
she displayed a remarkable knowl
edge of the club woman's husband.
not as he pretends to be to his fel
lows and the world, but as he really
is. She declared him to be a "zero"
in the domestic problem. but she finai
ly acknowledged that he was goou
to sign checks, and that he at times
displayed "intelligence that is almost
shuman, just like the family,dog."
Of course the club woman's hus
band-as well as the ordinary wo
-man's husband-is a "zero." There
is no need of denying it. We might
-even call him a "cipher with the rim
-taken off" for a more fitting charac
terization. Man enters the matrimon
ial estate with much bombastic as
sertion of his personality, but he
soon find himself in a condition of
meek and willing servitude, ready to
,Jo just as he is told at all times.
In the matter of dress. attendance:
-u.pon proper functions, and in all the
,conventionalities of life he may make
a show of resistance. just to make
'nimself think he is a man. but it is
,:nly a "bluff." It is of short dura
*tion at best, and he finally yields com
tplacent obisance. happy to think
that he is alive and glad to be knowi
:a "Mrs. So-and-So's husband."
'Cut Its Paw and Hurried to the Doc
tor to be Treated.
The fact of canine intelligence has
-been demonstrated ever since the be
-'-ginning of time, but rarely does it de
,'elop into such human quality as
,that displayed by Queen. the prize
igreyhound owned:by Ed. H. Reeves,
:a prominent caterer of Glenwooa
While playing around the grounds
o f the Hotel Colorado the other af
ternoon the dog received an ugly cut
from a broken bottle. She looked for
her master. but could not find him:
she licked the bleeding paw carefully.
and with an almost human instinct
set out on a crippled run for the of
fice of Dr. L. G. Clark. county coro
*ner, in the Firs.t Natonal Bank build
Up the stairs she !iobbled, feeble
'with the loss of blood, and lay down
'on the mat of the closed door. The
-door was closed, but it was always
"closed;'it would open before long, as
it always did, for her master. wvho
v'isited the doctor for a wound on his
But poor Queen did not know that
'the rioctor had closed his office and
gone. There shc waited for two lc,ng
hours, nursing her foot with the ugly
gash, licking it, and looking vainly tot
the familiar face of the doctor.
After long and faithful waiting hie
appeared. At the sight of the doctor
.a look of triumph gleamed in her
-tired eyes. The doctor noticed the
* dog casually, and opened his office
'door. Behind him crept the suffering
'Queen, and when the doctor had seat
ed himself she placed a pawv with a
*bleeding gash across it on his knee.
The doctor smiled. patted her head.]
-and todk the paw in his hand. It was
soon washed and bandaged ana
Queen was again on the street, prouu
of the white bandage which paid fot
her long wait.
Early Justice in California.
Kansas City Journal.
A Pike county Missourian is cred
ited wvith having first used the ex
pression: 'If this court knows her
self, and she thinks she do."
Long before the discovery of gold
i' C.aona a Pike county boy
named Blackburn, so it is said, ran
away from home and went to the
Rocky 'Mountains, where he grew to
manhood as Indian fighter, trapper
and mountain guide. lie became o
feet 4 inches tall. proportionately
thin, and marvelllously awkward. He
had many encounters with grizzlie:
and Indians. He was scarred from
head to foot. one eye had been partly
put out. his hair was thin and
coarse. and stood straight up on top
of his head and hung in every direc
tion from the sides. Blackburn. as
might be supposed. was not an edu
cated man. but he was not lacking in
keen wit and sound sense.
When gold was discovered Black
burn went to the mines. and the
miners, as a sort of joke. elected him
alcalde. an office similiar to that ot
justice of the peace. The first case
brought before the alcalde was that of
a gambler who. while drunk and on
horseback. had run over a young
Mexican woman. knocking her down
and seriously injuring her. The trial
took place in the largest cabin in the
neighborhood. which was packed with
roughly dressed. much bewhiskered
men. The gambler, who was rica.
hired able counsel to defend him. Al
calde Blackburn called the young wo
man, who told her story in brokei,
English. but frankly and honestly.
When she finished, the alcalde pe
remptorily ended the trial. The at
torney for the defendant protested
vehemently, but the alcalde ran his
hand through his hair until it stood
straighter on top than ever before
"If this court knows herself, and
she thinks she do, I fine you $5oo
damages and assess upon you the
costs of puttin' this yere gal in good
When asked what he meant by
"good condition." he replied that the
"gamblin' chap" must pay the doc
tor's bill and all other costs of the
woman's illness. A more learned
judge might have made a more for
mal ruling. but scarcely a juster one.
As the Sermon Struck the Deacon.
Kansas City Independent.
A self-conscious and egotistical
young clergyman was "supplying" the
pulpit of a country church. After the
service he asked one of the deacons.
a grizzled, plain spoken man, what he
though of "this morning's effort."
"Wall.". answered the old man slqwly.
"Ill tell ye; I'll tell ye in a kind of
parable. It reminded me of Sim
Peck's first deerhunt, when he was
green. He follered the deer's tracks
all right. but he follered 'ern all day
in the wrong direction."
TH W.- of Me.
GREAT : -
KENCH REME!'.Y produces the above result
n30dasys. C,e.s ZNervous Debility,Impotency.
'rariccete, Faihng Aiemory'. Stops an drains and
sses caused by err<.rs of youth. Ilt wards off In
sanity and Consu:.ption. Young Men regan Man
hood and Old Men recover Yoauthful 'igor. It
gives vigor and size to shrunken organs, and fits
a man for business or marrige Easily carried In
Carelessness is responsible for
many' a railroad wreck and the same
causes are making human wrecks of
sifferers from Throat and Lung trou
bles. But since the advent of Dr.
King's New Discovery for Consump
tion. Coughs and Colds, even the
vorst cases can be cured and hopeless
resignation is no longer necessary.
Mrs. Lois Cragg, of Dorchester.
Mass.. is one of the many whose life
was saved by Dr. King's New Discov
ery. This great remedy is guaranteed
for all throat and lung diseases by
W. E. Pelham & Son, Druggists.
Price soc. and $x.oo. Trial bottles
Some people never stop to think
that heaven is in the heart of a little
One of the greatest blessings .1
modest man can wish for is good.
reliable set of bowels. If you are
not the happy possessor of such an
out fit you cau greatly improve the
eficiency of those you have by the
judicious use of Chamberlain's
Stomach and Liver Tablets. They
are pleasant to take and agreeable in
effect. For sale by Smith Drug Co..
Newberry, S. C.. Prosperity Drug Co..
Is not a new, untried remedy. It
has been on the American market
for more than 3o years. It is the
most popular household remedy
known. Why? Because it is gen
uine, honest, powerful, thorough,
harmless, quick in action and easy
to take-the doses are very small.
Mrs. Mary J. DeGross, of New York
City, in a voluntary letter to Mr.
Lyman Brown says:
"For years I have been a chronic dys
peptic. Have taken more kinds of medicine
than I can remember, but Seven Barks has
proven to be the best. The relief it gives
me ,s speedy and certain. I feel bright and
well after its use, the effect is so good.''
We have thousands of equally as
SPECIAL If you sufter from headaches,
kidney or liver troubles. bil
OFFER iousncss. dyspepsia or any of
the kindred ailments, buy a 50 cent bottle of
Seven Harks and try it. If the result is not
entirely satisfactory take the bottle back
and get your money. The druggist will
cheerfully refund it.
LYMAN BROWN. New York City.
Mayes' Drug Store
Although the government 'doesn't
encourage counterfeiting, it employs
a lot of congressmen who pass bad
Sick headache results from a dis
ordered stomach and is quickly cured
by Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver
Tablets. For sale by Smith Drug Co..
Newberry, S. C., and Prosperity
Drug Co.. Prosperity, S. C.
There should be no objection to a
ian smoking cigarettes if he is alone
and happens to have a grudge against
A Runaway Bicycle.
Terminated with an ugly cut on the
leg of J. B. Orner. Franklin Grove.
11l. It developed a stubborn ulcer uI
yielding to doctors and remedies for
four years. Then Bucklen's Arnica
Salve cured. It's just as good for
burns, Scalds, Skin, Eruptions and
Piles. 25C, at Win. E. Pelham &
Son's Drug Store.
"Well." she said sorrowfully. "we
"How?" asked the neighbor.
"Why. we mortgaged the house to
put Mamie in society, and she didn't
,arry a man rich enough to pay off
Thus it will be seen the specula
:ion is not confined to the business
Doesn't Respect Old Age.
It's shameful ' when youth fails to
how proper respect for old age, but
ust the contrary in the case of Dr.
ing's New Life Pills. They cut oft
aladies no matter how severe ania
rrespective of old age. Dy'spepsia.
aundice,- Fever, Constipation e all
yield to this perfect Pill. 25c at
m E. Pelham & Son's Drug Store.
Newberry, S. C.
apital -- - $50,000
Surlus - - 19,500
since organIation 21,000
aid Depositors in
ment since or
ganization - - $9,200
A man working by tbe day is paid
or the time he puts in at work, but
when that man saves a dollar for his
day's labor it works for him nights,
a well as days; never lays off on ac
ount of bad weather and never gets
ick, but goes right on earning him
an income. It's a nice thing to work
or money, but it's much nicer to
av money working for you. Try
t-open a savings account with usa
and get some money working for you.
Make a deposit in the Savings de
partment today and let it begin to
work for you. Interest computed at
4per cent January 1 and July 1 of
Cor Load Ju
Mowers and F
worth of repairs
what you need.
device for cutting
S THIS SPACE B
jThe Riser M
* We are too b
* full stock in el
Come to us f
0 beautiful in Mil
* trimmings, Bel
The Riser M
Our Aini a
We want your collars,
anything else that need:
know how to do them as
ause we, have made a s
and wg have all of the
are used in the most
rial bundle wilLconvinc
we use only the best mi
ethods in washing the
Call and see the way y
The NewberrU l
I GREEN FRUITS -
: Everything in the F~
* Modern Re
fS. B. Ji
. You can get
See our specia
Y small grain.
ERITY, S. C.
usy to write e
but have a 0
very depart- 0
linery, Dress .
ts and Necke
Well Doqe is
Cuffs and Shirts, and
to be cleansed. We
they should be, be
udy of the business.
latest appliances that
ip-to-date plants. A
e the most critical that
aterials and sanitary
our clothes are han
ncy Grocery Line.