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Where They Missed It.
It was their first baby.
The mother was in perfect rapture.
It was an ugly baby, but she did
mot know it.
Happy young mother!
All of them are like her!
But the father had dark misgiv
His salary was only two-ten a
veek, and babies are expensive lux
Her father was rich, but he had
frowned upon their union, and had
heteradox and heretical notions as to
supporting a son-in-law besides.
Cruel old man.
One day. when the baby was about
a month old. the .father came home
.rom his office in the city and found
his wie radiant.
She was not happy when the baby
vas out of her sight.
"What is it, Jennie?" asked her
husband, for he was yet uncertain as
to the blessings conferred by the
He was also sle-py.
"'Oh. Charlie," she chirruped. "I
heard from papa today."'
Charlie looked gloomier than ever.
"Don't say anything. dear," she
pleaded, for she knew her husband's
opinion of her father. "He has heard
of our baby, and, though he has not
vet determined to forgive us. he has
sent us a check for y pounds for dear
At first the young husband's face
it up with pleasure. then it shadow
"Are you glad, Charlie?" she ask
ed with a quivering lip.
Then he smiled, joyfully.
"Yes, darling," he answered; "but
.,.what a pity it wasn't twins!"
In the Supreme Court.
As the hands of the clock point to
12 the crier of t' e supreme court
of. the United States raps with his
gavel, the mummer of conversat-on
zeases and attorneys, court officials
-and visitors rise while the chief crier
slowly announces. "The honorable
chief justice and the as,ociate jus
tices of the supreme court of the
TJnited States." Robed in black silk
gowns, they walk with slow and digni
fied steps toward the bench as the
chief justice appears at the entrance
to their seats.
At this the crier says: "Oyez!
Oyez! Oyez! .A:1 persons having
business before the honorable chief
justice and the a'ssociate justices of
the supreme court of the Uuited
States are admonished to draw near
Sand give their attention, for the court
is now in sitting. God save the gov
-ernent of the United States and this
*No man entering the domelike
* ourt room at WVashinigton may wear
his overcoat. Such is the dignity
and impressiveness of that tribunal
that- some men to~ whom emharass
mIent has long been a stranger evi
dence the renewal of their acquaint
ances with it by a stammering speech,
a quickening breath, a nervous man
tier when addressing the court.
She Went Down.
'The man with the bronzed face and
the rolling gait was entertaining an
~attentive circle of acquaintances, ac
'cording to the Galveston Daily News,
when Mr. Jones edged up just in t'ime
to hear the words: "And the ship
went down with all of us on board."
"She went down?" asked Mr. Jones,
"Yes, sir," smiled the bronzed fac
- ed man. "She sank slowly, but sure
ly, and scarcely a ripple was left to
mark the spot where she had sunk."
" Bnt where were you?"
"In the captain's cabin."
"'And couldn't you get out ?" again
m ~estioned Mr. Jones.
"Why, no. I never thought of get
*ing out." was the cool answer.
"Oh, 1 suppose it was all so unex
'No, we knew she would go down."
.And how did you escape?"
"I didn't have to escape."
*How's that?" Mr. Jones inquired.
~If the ship sank with all on board,
and there was no chance for you to
escape, how do you expect us to be
liev.e your story when we see you sit
ting here alive and wvell?"
"It was a sub-marine boat," explain
ed the man with the bronzed face.
Liberal minded women can't keep se
It Didn't Pay.
A newsboy was strutting along
Walnut street recently when close to
the curb he espied a bright io cent
piece. A benevolent looking gentle
man stood near. The honest boy,
thinking the man had dropped the
:oin, picked it up and offered it to
The gentleman turned kindly and
not on1v allowed the boy to retain the
:oin, but gave him a quarter; saying:
"Here is a reward for being honest,
ny young man.
The boy trotted off in high spirits.
rhat night he slept little, partly on
iccount of thinking of his good for
:une, and partly because of a scheme
xhic'i his Vuthful brain had hatched.
He would make money deliberately
n the same way as he had accident
illy made it on that day.
It would be necessary to drop a
:n near snie one then the reward
Yould come in the way of a present
The next morning he started off
arly. and seeing a well dressed gen
leman standing at a corner, he softly
ropped a 1o cent piece near the man
;uddenly he said: "Excue me mister,
lid you drop this?"
The gentleman. a noted millionaire,
lanced at the proffered coin. Then
ook it, saying:
"Ah! perhaps I did. I always
iave loose change about me, but I
nust reward you for your honesty."
The boy's heart went pit-a-pat. The
nillionaire fumbled in his pocket till
L car was near. Then he quickly
)ressed a pe-ny into the anxious
)oy's hand and boarded the car.
Reflections of a Spinster.
It isn't always the most enthusias
ic gymnast who responds most po
itely to his wife's request to help her
>eat the carpet.
The men who believe the stories
bout girls collecting engagement
ings while on their summer outings
>robably never had the generosity or
:ash to give a girl an engagement
ing in their lives
One touch of flattery makes the
vhole world grin.
- What some people take for ideas
tre often merely ideals.
A girl with a sense of humor always
:njoys hearing a man's opinion of
A gill of prevention is worth a mil
ion of repentance.
It's odd what big opinions of them
elves some men hold.
WVhen a man gives a girl a rose he
as worn he has a sneaking belief that
he's going to press it between the
eaves of her favorite poet.
Method in His Madness.
A visitor to the St. Louis exposi
ion congratulated Joseph W. Folk,
he district attorney of the city, upon
he speed with wh'ch he had brought
he "boodle alderman" to trial, says
he San Antonio Express.
"Speed," said Mr. Folk, smiling, "is
en excellent thing, a thing that will
chieve wonders. I heard the other
lay of an Irishman, though; who ex
ected too much of speed.
"This Irishman was a painter
sually being paid by the hour, he
worked rather' slowly, but a friend
ound him painting one day like a
"The friend paused to investigate.
o strange a matter.
" 'W\hat's come over ye. McGuire?'
te said. 'It ain't like you to work
"'Whist.' said McGuire. 'Stand out
the way and don't shtop me, Oi'm
~hirivin' to get through befur me
mint gives out.'"
Reflections of a Bachelor.
Yew York Press.
Some men are born troubled, some
unt fcor trouble and some marry into
Some women don't have to bleach
:o have red-headed tempers.
Even a bathing suit can't look a
>ee'k-a-boo shirt waist in the face.
It's just like a woman to wish she
iad curly hair when she hasn't even
mo'ugh of the kind she has.
It's funny how absolutely convinc
d the reformer is that the only vir
~te on earth is buttoned under his
If there is one thing thinner than
water it is the blood of your rich
Boston People Are Particular.
Rev. Robert Collyer, whose long
and successful ministerial career has i
been passed chiefly in Chicago and
New York, finds the complete satis
faction of Bostonians in their city a
source of amusement. He says he
once dreamed that he was in the vi- 3
cinity of the pearly gates and saw
two ladies approach, seeking entrance.
"Where are you from?" asked St.
"We're both from Boston," replied
one of the ladies.
"Well, you can come in," said St.
Peter. "but you won't like it." A
variation of the same anecdote is the
story of a Boston woman who had
passed within the gates and was tak
ing her first look around.
"It is very nice." she exclaimed;
"very nice. indeed, but"-this with a
sigh-"it isn't Boston."
What Enervated Him.
"Most enervating weathah, this,"
"Yes?" queried Snayley.
"Yass. I thought of a lettah I
had to write this morning. so awfter
a while I thought I'd just get at it,I
but, bah Jove! when I started to do it
I found I hadn't the energy. Beastly
"Whv blame the weather? Per
haps it was those two thoughts in one
Of the condition of The Commercial
Bank of Newberry, S. C., at the close
of business June 30, 1904. Published ac
cording to an Act of General Assembly.
Notes discounted ............... $302,210 7314
Furniture and fixturei....... 3,051 934
Due from banks. ......... ..... 4,525 58
Overdrafts ........................ 4.823 09 4
Cash and cash items............ 10,935 65:4
Capital stock ..... ............ $ 50,000 00 4
Individual deposits ............ 174,334 90
Dividends unpaid............... 2,437 50
Accrued interest................ 1,279 35
Expense, Due July 1st, ..... 1,233 34 4
Due banks......................... 3,347 00
Profits.................. 27,914 89
Rediscounted............ 65,000 00
Personally appeared before me Z. F.
Wright, Cashier of the above named
bank, who swears that the above state
ment is correct to the best of his knowl
edge and belief. Z. F. Wright, Cachier.
Sworn to before me this6th day of July
1904. J. Y. McFall, Notary Public.
0. B. Mayer,
Jno. M. Kinard, ~.Directors.
L. W. Floyd,J
Will buy either of the below men
Two pounds of Good Rice.
One pound of Good Parched Coffee.
Two boxes of Potted Ham.
Three pounds of Best Flour.
Two dozen Fruit Jar Rubbers.
ITwo yards of 4-4-Bleaching.
rour pounds of A. H. Soda.
One box of Good Salmon.
1 plug of Good Chewing Tobacco,
worth 15 cents.
Two packages oi Fine Tea.
One box Pineapple.
Lots and lots of other things too
numerous to mention.
Cure aEd Sue U
Honors Resting Easy.
Mr. Roosevelt is said to have cap
ured the Irish vote, but Candidate
)avis is still leading the Germans.
Guide (to tourist)-Vell, sare, how
ou like ridin' de camel?
Tourist-Well, we don't blend very
vell, as it were. You see, he can do
Vith a drink every three weeks, and I
vant one every three miles.-New
Chicago Host (to visiting relative)
-Aunt Hepsy. shall I help you to
ome of the carrots?
Aunt Hepsy (slightly deaf)-Par
ots? Fer the land's sake, Rodney?
las the meat strike in this town got
s bad as all that?-Chicago Tribune.
"A musician out of work, are you?"
aid the housekeeper. "Well you'll
nd a few cords of wood in the wood
hed. Suppose you favor me with
"Pardon the pronunciation, mad
in," replied the bright tramp. "but
hopin is not popular with me."
hiladelphia Public Ledger.
Are my long suit.
except bad ones
siamp and an ind
ing linen for 40 <
other good things
1334 Main Street.
nvils, A rdirons, Sash
Cotton Mill Casti
We repair Engin
fAIL OBDERS RECEIVE 0
4,t,a L'ut*e &Is Sores,
"t.E - Pies,
The Dtath Penalty.
A little thing sometimes results in
death. Thus a mere scratch, in-sig
niIkant cuts or puny boils have paid
the death penalty. It is wise to have
Bucklen's Arnica Salve ever handy.
tt's the best Salve on earth and will
prevent fatality, when Burns, Sores,
Ulcers and Piles threaten. Only
25c. at V. E. Pelham & Son's drug
Taken With Cramps.
Wi. Kirmse. a member of the
bridge gang worKing near Littleport
was taken suddenly ill Thursday
night with Cramps and a kind of
cholera. His case was so sever that
he had to have the members of the
crew wait upon him and 'Mr. Gifford
was called and cons-,lted. He told
_Im me iad a medicine in the form
Chumberlain's Colic. Cholera and
Diarrhoea Remedy that he thought
wond help him and. accordingly ser
:ral doses were administered with the
r:ult that the fellow was able to
be arlund next day. The incident
.'pe!-:s quite highly of Mr. Gifford's
m edicincs.-Elkoder. Iowa, Argus.
This remedy never fails. Keep it in
vont home. it may save your life.
For sale by Smith Drug Co.. Newber
y: Prosperity Drug Co., Prosperity.
I make any kind +
1 furnish a new *
flible pad for mark- *
ents. I have some
e Supplies, etc.
Columbia, S. C.
LAURENS, S, C.
Weights, Cane Mills,
ers, Grate Bars.
Made to Order.
gs A Specialty,
s, Boilers, Gins,
R PROMPT ATTENTION.
y its combined therapeutic action.
upon the blood and the mucous
membrane, Hancock's Liquid
Sulphur positively and surely
Catarrh is a constitutional dis
ease, and local treatment aloDe
will not cure it. Sulphur is the
greatest germicide known, and a
jider. Its value hlas been recog
for ages,but all its curative effects
iever obtainable till the discovery
~cock's Liquid Sulphur. So posi
its action that we guarantee it to
atarh, Eczema, Acne. Itch, Dan
re Mouth and Throat. Granulated
Is, and all diseases of the Scalp.
COCK'S LIQUID SULPHUR OINTMt!NT.
ed especially for Buhrns. Sealds, Open
Chafed P'arts, Raw Surfaces, Boils,
Roughness .f Face and Hands, and
.ll realibl drug stores. write for free booklet
the uraive and tod use of ,ulphur.
COCK LIQUID SULPHUR CO.,