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GOATS NEARLY RUINED HIM
Farmer Complains of Bureau Litera
ture to Roosevelt.
Washington. D. C.. June 20.-Presi
dent Roosevelt at the Cabinent meet
ing to-day entertained the member
by reading a humorous letter he ha<
reeeived from a New Hampshir,
farmer, who had been experimentini
with Angora goats. This is the letter
Mr. President: I regret -to call you:
attention to the Angora goat depart
ment of the bureau of agriculture
It has spread broadcast a documen
commending Angoras to the farmer
of the country. This contains thre
"Before Goating" shon s a dens
jungle, suggesting the average Nev
Hampshire pasture. "One Year Afte
Goating" shows the same land pro
ducinga valuable crop of bean poles
"Two Years After Goating" shows :
lawn suitable for golf links Th,
onifniverous appetite of Angoras i
described in a way that led me to hop,
they might even effect a saving ii
blasting powder, the chief source o
expense in farming hereabouts.
I procured a flock at considerabl
cost. The result of the first inter
view of my dog and the buck cause
me to name the latter Togo. Hi
views on the subject, I think, woul
receive your approval. The does. of
tihe other hand. neglect their kids s
shamelessly that I fear they belon
to a female goat club.
I inclosed the flock with a fenc
highly recommended to me by -th
American Steel and Wire compan}
I now suspect that this coinpa.,y ma;
be a Trust, and should be investi
gated. The goats began by thrustin
their heads through the upper par
of the fence, where they hung b
their horns. When tired of this the
went through, under and over th
T make no comvlaint that they at
a valuable rose garden belonging to
neighbor; but their conduct in m
own vegatable garden entitled me t
relief. When pursued their rapidit
of movement might suggest ideas t
the Pennsylvania Railroad compan
in connection with its Chicago-Nei
York service. If interested, you ca
<obtain the flock on easy terms, nc
necessitating a new bond issue.
I leave the matter, Mr. Presiden
to you, sure of justice. A consulat
near good fishing ground -would b
* An Absent-Minded Man.
A group of sailors on coastwise vea
sels were gathered on an East Rivc
pier recently and got to spinnin
yarns as sailors usually do when the
.are together long.
"The absent-mindedesf man I evt
hearn tell of used to live downi
Maine," said one old tar.
"He was so blamed absent-mninde
-tihat he used to fergit his name. T11
pepul of the town was on to him a
right and had lots of fun with him.
"One day he went to the postoffic
and asked if there was enny mail f<
his'n folks. 'What's your name?' as]
ed the postmaster. Old Hall-his
name was Hall---was stuck. Ile
- scratched his ;head. but it was no use
ndI started to go h-,ime. Just out
si(ie the (iuor he met an old friend,
who said: 'Good a'ternoon. Mr. Hall.
- The old man rushed pellmeli into the
- postoftice, singing out at the top of
his voice, Hall! Hall! That's my
I name! Got any mail fer the Halls?'
"Old Hall and his wife were just
starting out to take a drive one day,
and they forgot tVhe hitching rope.
Old Hall said he fetch it, so he went
- to the barn. He had been gone a
. deuce of a while, so his wife thought,
t when he came around the corner of
the house toting an old sawhorse. His
wife got the rope.
'That old fellow did a kinds of
queer things. He'd just as likely grab
his wife's frying pan when he was go
ing to milk the cow as the milk pail.
- His wife hit the nail on the head when
she said: 'I can never tell, when I
send Jim for a needle that he won't
a show up with a pickax.'
- A Dear Little 'Boy.
1 Archbishop Ryan, at a dinner that
f was given in his honor in Philadel
phia, anent, a man who had bought a
- "The gentleman's disappointment
I on the discovery of the salt must have
s been great. It resembles a little, per
I haps. the emotion of a certain Frank
1 fort man.
" "This man had a small nephew of
whom he was very fond. One night
in evening dress, he called at the
e youngster's house. and, taking hirr
e on his knee, gave a demonstration oi
an opera hat's mechanism. First he
' would crush his ta.l black hat intc
- a pancake. Then, with a loud report
he would spring it back into its porp
t er shape again.
Y "The little fellow was amused. H<
Y took the that. He too, found h<
e could crush it and open it again witl
ease. He played with it for half ar
e hour. He had a good time. The epi
a sode made an impression on him.
y "The uncle. called the next montl
0 on a Sunday afternoon. Tbis tim<
y he wore a frock coat and a silk hat
0 He placed tihe silk hat on a table it
y the hall, entered the parlor and be
v gan to converse with his brother.
n "An hour passed. Then the little
t nephew entered with something blacl
and shapeless in his hand.
t, " 'Uncle,' 'he said, 'this hat is hard
e er than your other one. I've had t<
e sit on it, but I can't get it more'n hal
Colors Birds Don't Like.
r Red wvill annoy a turkey-cock a
g much as a bull, but a sparrow will no
y let it disturb its nmind. But if on,
shakes a blue rag in front of a cage<
:r sparrow's eyes he will go franti
n with disgust. Sparrows and linnets
too, will refuse food offered them o
d a piece of blue paper and dislike th
.e appearance of any one wearing
11 blue cress. Medium lig'ht blue affect
them rmost, but blue serge the
:e scarcely mind at all. Thrushes an
~r black birds object to yellow, but wi
t- .use red or blue dried grass left abou
When in ne
and a lot of t]
tensils in the
their haunts to build the outer layers Sp
"f their nests. Yellow gras=es they
1':l: 11' t US~C.
Found a Cure for Dyspepsia.
Mrs. S. Lindsay. of Fort William, ap:
Ontario. Canada. who has suffered lan,
quite a number of years from dyspep- on
sia and great pains in the stomach, Sn
was advised by her druggist to take G.
Chamberlain's Stomach and Liver
Tablets. She did so and says, "I find
that they have done me a great deal m<
of good. I have never had any suf- thi
fering since I began using them." It alh
troubled with dyspepsia or indiges
tion why not take these Tablets, get
well and stay well? -For sale by
Smith Drug Co., Pelham and Son, D
W. G. Mayes, and Prosperity Drug c.
The laxative *effect of Ch!mberlain's i
Stomach and Liver Tablets is so ag
agreeable ;d so natural that you do co
not realize it is the effect of a
medicine. For sale by Smith Drug mn
Co., Pelham and Son, W. G. Mayes. to(
and Prosperity Drug Co. C
A pretty girl doesn't mind reflec- sa
tions on herself when they come from gr
A young man may induce the girl's a
father to toe the mark by posing as
Mr. J. T. Barber of Irwinville, Ga., is
always keeps a bottle of Chamber
lain's Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy at hand ready for instant
use. Attacks of coli cholera morbus H
and diarrhoea come on so suddenly bii
that there is no time to hunt a 'doctor an
or go to .the store for medicine. Mr. an
Barber says: "I have tried Cham- El
berlain's Colic, Cholera and Diar rc
rhoea Remedy which is one of the te
best medicines I ever saw. I keep a in
bottle of it in my room as I have had wi
several attacks of colic and it has su
proved to be the best medicine I ever gt
used." Sold by Smith Drug Co., VI
Pelham and Son, W. G. Mayes, and 50
Prosperity Drug Co.
If you have written a letter, read it wN
carefully before sending. If the
words "Burn this" appear take your
own advice at once.
Cuban Diarrhoea. ca
U. S. soldiers who served in Cuba C,
during the Spanish war know what B:
this disease is, and that rrdinary tr
'remedies have little more effect than is
Sjso much water. Cuban diarrlhoea is et.
almost as severe and dangerous as a w
mild attack of cholera. There is' one
*remedy, however, that can always be
depended upon as will be seen by the le
following certificate from Mrs; Min- at
tnie Jacobs of Houstonr, Texas:- "I it
Shereby certify that Chamberlain's
Colic, Cholera and Diarrhoea Reme
dy cured my husband of a severe at
tack of Cuban diarrhoea, which he h<
brought home from Cuba. We had tt
e several doctors but they did him no es
a good. One bottle of this remedy r<
scured him, as our neighbors will tes- F
Stify. I thank God for so valuable a a'
medicine." For sale by Smith Drug f<
t Co., Pelham and Son, W. G. Mayes, al
and Prosperity Drug Co. st
It Takes Only
Three Minutes IE
ed of anything
[ings out of it,
County. We lead
rained Ankle, Stiff Neck, Lam
fhcse are three common ailment
which Chamberlain's Pain Bair
especially valuable. If prompti
ilied it will save you time, mone
I suffering when troubled with an
e of these ailments. For sale b
Lith Drug Co., Pelham and Son, X
Mayes, and Prosperity Drug Cc
Fainting is a great winrer in argu
nts. If a woman can faint whe
ngs don't suit her her husband wil
vays see that she gets her way.
Torture of a Preacher.
[he story of the torture of Rev. C
Moore, pastor of the Baptis
.irch, of Harpersville. N. -., wil
crest you. He says: "I suffere
anies, because of a persisten
igh, resulting from the grip. I ha
sleep sitting up in bed. I trie
ny remedies, without relief, until
)k Dr. King's New Discovery fc
nsumption Coughs and Cold:
Li h entirely cured my cough, an
ed me from consumption."
tnd cure for diseased conditions c
roat and Lungs. At W. E. Pelhar
d Son druggist; price 5ocents an
oo, guaranteed. Trial bottle fre(
One strong point of many a woma
at the end of a hatpin.
"For stven years," writes Geo. V
>ffman, of Harper, Wash.. "I had
:ter battle, with chronic stomac
d liver trouble, but at last I wo
d cured my diseases, by the use
ectric Bitters. I unhesitating
Dmmend them to all, and don't it
:d in the future to be without the
the house. They are certainly
)nderful medicine, to have cure
c:h a bad case as mine." Sold, undh
arantee to do the same for you, b
E. Pelham and Son, druggist,
cents a bottle. Try them today.
By doing the hard things first y
il be sure to find the rest easy.
A Fearful Fate.
It-hea fearful fate to Lave to e
ire the terrible torture of Piles.
n truthfully say," writes Har
)lson, of Masonvilie, Ia., "that f
lind, Bl'eeding, Itching and Pr
uding Piles, Bucklen's Arnica Sah
the best cure made." Also best f
ts, burns and injuries. 25cents
.E. Pelhama and Son, druggist.
Don't open your mouth and swa
w everything yeou hear-unless y<(
e foolish and don't care who knox
In Mad Chase.
Millions rush in mad chase aft
~alth, from- one extreme of faddis
another, wvhen, if they would on
Lt good food, and keep their bow<
gular with Dr. King's New Li
ills, tiheir troubles would all pa
vay. Prompt relief and quick ct
>r liver and stomach trouble. 2
W. E. Peiham and.. Son's dr
YOU USE AI
in the HARE
call on us, v
nt of Hardwh
the others try to I
iS necss:iry for cotton to produce
high yields and good fibre.
6Write for our valuable books on
fertilizatiun: they contain informa
tion that means dollars to the
farmers. Sent free on request.
Write now wh;ie you think of it
GERMAN KALI WORKS
- New York- Atlanta, Ga.
93 Nau St..or = S Broad
For Sale by
C. H. CANNON.
Y In tea and coffee sets, both ster
tt ling silver and plated ware. Te de
and desirable with each passing year
and our grandmothers' eyes would
twinkle with zmazenent at the dis
play to be seen here.
eY want the BEST. We have .
ly EXACTLY whatu want. Don't
is wait to feel eatyready. We canA
fe4MAKE you able. Ou rices are!
LOW- -our terms are ESY.
ssV Write us at once for catalogues,V
re Aprices and terms. Address
seMalsne's Music House, -
ag Columbia, S. C.
oo . .le