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* Troubles of
Well. thank goodney. I am now
saft at ho-:n agaia. and eady .f: r
business. Hay bin on a extendid
trip Lrew old S.'lath C:olina. I jef;
Norw.> d on S:l!.tv, July 21s; and
got '.aek on Ai-.: . hieh was Sat
urday. I shoire 0.H 11:,Ve a gloi:-a;
time while I was gone, but atter awl
the best part of a trip is gitting back
heme to Je.ems. I went to Saulsberry
and Sharlot, Gastony and Spartan
burg.. stoppin fur a few daze in
Greeonvill. From there I went to
Newberrv. S. t. and siade a hole
week. I had sum turrible times and
got completely riled several times
while I was cne. The first time was
up here at New London when we
-3tarted to Whitney. Cap'n Frabier
,was off on a vacation and a nuther
-onduckter-a tony lookin feller
'named Chattem, was a runnin his job.
I aon't no what in the name of sense
they called him that for, cawse he
-din't chat 'em worth a red sent. At
,er he got their tickets or money, he
Jidn't pay no more 'tention to 'em,
%no diffrunee how purty they' was.
Wel. as I was savin, when we got to
New London, that conduckter sed we
had to go by Whitney; and, Mr. Edi
-ter. as shore as my name is Becky,
Ann Jones, lie perseeded to take us
,down there backerds! Mrs. Ramsey
.-from Chestnut Hill, Saulsberry, was
on the trane. and mE and her got to
-tawkin about sich a indignity - bein
put onto' us. Me and her had both
bin use to goin into'things face fore
-mist and with both ize open, and we
didn't like no sick. Purty soon I
prescovered that Chatem feller com
i threw the kyars, and I up and
axed him what he meant by sich
-doins. Sez I:
"My deer man. besides bein riled
and exasperatid to the pint of ex-1
-plodin, I'm also comfuddled and puz
zled to no your reesin, that is if you
have got arry won, for sich doins. Air
-ou 'shamed fur your passengers to
see Whitney, or air you 'shamed fur
'Whitney to see your passengers?
-Which is it, man?"''
I reckin my umbrel looked purty
-thretnin, eawse he tride to get up
- sum sort of a flimsy piassifyin ex
muse that wernt no excuse at awl.
I told him that I node well and
good that Cap 'n Trazier woodn 't 'a
subjagated his passengers to sich in
diignity. Then Mr. *Ohatem 'lowed
uwith em aticks, that he was jest as
-;good a conduckter as Cap'n Frazier
~or any other Cap 'n, and, ruther than
~have a fuss and make spectickle of
myself, I let it go at that-bit my un
ruly member, put up my umbrel and
sot down to meditate consarnin the
unreesinbleness of the male men.
Well, I had a longtime had a han
kerin' to see 'ihitney, and had lgde
off to go there soon; but little did I
think that when I did go, I'd go in
'backerds! I never seen nuthin dow-n
there that inprest me faverable, but
of course as I nev4r got offen the
'kyars, I hadn't f6rter pass judgment
on the place.
Atter a while we got to Saulesberry
ad, I allers' lowed it was a sin to
be pore and act the same way, s'o I
went to won of them hifalutin hotels
~where a sarvant skoots a cheer under
;you when you go to set down to the
ftable, and then stands rite behind you
reddy to do jest anything you axe
* em. Bless Patty, I[thought I was too
late fur supper, cawse there wern 't a
.solitary thing on that table 'ceptin a
few tiny little dishes of stuuf stuck
-'ite round the plates of a couple of
'dudes. I node they was dudes soon
'as I lade ize on 'em, fur they was
*jest prezactly like Governor Glenn's
prescriptin of that species, in the
speech he made at Albemarle the big
corner stone layin' day. Yes they
*was dudes-wawkin sticks, big
-floppy britches and awl. I was about
'to axe 'em what they ment by taken
possession of ever artickle of eata
bles that was on the table, when a
giee eleen lookin yaller chap warrin
a puty white apern and caip, handed
sne a strip of paper that looked fur
awl the world like a dun fur a bill of
groceries. There was lots of furrin
ritin on it that I cudn't make out
but I seen enuff to rouse my 'spi
eions. I handed the thing back to
him with a hawty gester and sed:
'"My good frend, I ain't a doubtin
but what you air 'onest in your in
tention, but you have made a series
mistake; I aint the pursin you air
lookin fur. I don't owe you a red
cent :-have jest now arove in the
city." "Bi of fare, main; -what
dia11 I:bring for your supper?" sed
Ie. felle mie. permit and not noti
ein my orful blunder, while won of
them dudes had a orful coffin spell,
and the other busted out to laffin
and sed he jest happened to think of
a leckture he herd the nite before,
and that ever time it crosst his mem
ory he had to laff, no diffrunce where
lie happened to be. If they hadn't a
bin sich tony looking fellers, I wood
a thought maybe they was laffin at
me; but they looked like they had
been well razed. Well, I allers was
Tick to keieh on to most any thing,
so looked over that paper agin and
told that yaller man to bring me some
tea. (I jest ordered it cawse I hadn't
never seen none, and if I live long or
di soon, I hope I'll never see no more.
It tasted fur awl the world like Sim
mons' Liver Regulater) and some
ham, eggs, rice, butter, bred and s
on. Purty soon here come a servant
with a big tray full of stuff-awl I
had ordered and a hole lot more, and
I perseeded to bizness. Won of them
dudes got threw and went out, and
I sot there a eatin and a wishin the
tother'n wood go too. But no, sir,
lie wanted to git up a conversatio'n
with me, and I had to give him a
pease of my mind before I got rid of
him. I jest wish to goodness Jeems
cud a hearn him! My! my! If he had!
Mr. Editer, did you ever stay in a
room where there was a little button
on the wall, and by pressin it yoi
could git jest anything you happened
to take a notion fur?
Well, that is the kind I stade in.
I don 't no what kind of a inven
tion will be next. People air gittin tc
be overly smart, and how, and some
of 'em think they can make jest any
"It's wonderful, now-days, how the3
drop the olden ways,
And new appliances are every where;
We have elevators high that will land
us to the sky,
And let us down again with prope.
We have telephones that talk fron
Chicago to New York,
And patent cradles, too, for one ani
But to give a fellow ease, you can gei
just what you please,
When you press the little button or
Your tailor you can shun, when hi
calls to make a dui,
Your wife need never hear you comi
If you want a private drink, you have
only got to wink,
The button does the business while
If you find your ma-in-law has a lit
tle too much jaw,
And makes within your home toc
long a call,
You can make her too the mark 'nd
she'll vanish like a lark,
When you press the little button ox
In polities you'll win, tho' you
chances may be thin;
Your pockets will be always lined wit]
You can make*the girls admire, if t<
fashion you aspire,
Among the great 'Four Hundred' yoi
If you havent' got an heir, or wouli
maybe like a pair;
Or want the earth you only have t<
There's nothing you can't get, if yot
want it you can bet,
If you press the little button on th
Thats won of Marthy Jane Matil
dy's songs, and I allers thought tha
them senterments was stretched til
I occipide a room where won of then
buttons was. Well, as I eudn 't thin]
of a thing I wanted, I never toc]
that button that nite, but I mad<
things lively as I come on back !
wont tell you about that till I get t<
it, and I may change my mind ani
not tell about it at all. I don't lik,
to tell things on myself no how.
left Saulesbury soon Monday morni:
and took the kyars fur Greenville, S
C., where I spent a happy time ti
Thursday, with won that I'll cal
She had red some of my artiekle
and shad rit to me and fur quite
spell we had bin a correspondin wit]
much plezure and mutil benefit.
As I had to go to Newberry any
how on sum bizness, I pereludid to g
by way of Greenville, and see i
"Sister May'' was as sweet as he
letters. I found with grate stupefae
tion that she was more so.
She lives with her mother who is
sense '"Sister May was sixteen. th,?y
have bin alone together. The mother
is a feeble little critter and "Sister
May's" devotion to her is the pur
tiest site I ever seen.
Well, my friend shore did give me
a fine time. She tuck me mitey ni awl
over Greenville on the street kyars.
I've rid on them tliinzs before-sev
eril yeers ag-o when I was in Shar
lot-but I don't reckin I'll ever see
the time that I can ride on 'em with
out feelin kinder curis.
Jest to see them things go a tarrin
up and down the streets without a
sine of a horse hitched to 'em is enuff
to make the creeps crall up and down
a pursins spinel collum, and to be on
won when it's a doin it, is somethin
else. I don't like to show my iOner
ance in a eroud. and I wouldn't let
on to '"Sister May'' that 1 was ske-er
ed within an inch of my life, but I
secretly clung to my seet with a deth
grip, and tride to summon a cool, cam,
and indifferent expression to my
Won time I thought fur shore we
was a goin to glory, or to the other
place 'cordin to our deservin, fur I
seen a thing comin like litnin down
the street a meetin us, and a snortin
defiance rite in the face of our kyar.
And, law sakes! it was rid by fore
purty gals with their hare a flvin in
I the air, and they didn't 'pear to be
skeered a mite. I shore thought they
was goin to run rite square itio us.
but jest as I give a screech of horrori
-and dismay, the thing skooted rite
out to won side and we was awl safe.
Soon as I ead speek I axed "Sis
ter May" what that thing was and
she sed it was a orterbeamule. I
told her it shore had orter be a mule
stiddy of a dare devil kind of a crit
ter like that, fur a mule woodn't a
tuck them gals rite into the jaws of
deth like that thing did. No, sir! I no
a little about mules and I haint nev
er seen won yet that wood a rushed
rite up on a street kyar frunt end
Well, I visited lots of interestin
places in Greenville, and will try and
-tell sumthin about sum of 'em.
Reedy River Falls is a purty place
and is among the grandest of Naters
wild seenery. [t ain't more'n five min
iits wawk from the bizziest section of
t.he city. It was here that in 1776,
Richard Paris hilt his historic mill;
but romanse has bin swept aside by
modern progress, fur here air now lo
cated the Cemperdown Cotton Mills.
SThe old piill (I reckin it is Parises)
is still a standin, its grate warter
wheel idle and lookin like a sentinal
at a post of duty.
Sitiwated on the West McBee ave
new, in a purty grove of native oke
trees, stands the First Baptist church
-a stately house of warship with
grate ma'ssive collums and tall steeple.
It can set down 1,500 people and has
got the finest pipe orgin in awl S. C.
The church was established in No
vember, 1831, with ten members.
Then there's the Greenville-Female
College, a Baptist institution. It was
founded in 1819, but never got its
present name till the yeer 1845. It is
on College street; the grounds air
large and roomy and the bildin is
comnmodious, stately and imposin. Its
dormytary will 'commeraate 300 pu
pils, and the big auditoram has got
won of the sweetest soundin pipe or
gins in that part of the country.
I believe that upper Mane street is
the purtiest residence section that I
seen. On this street is the grate
moneyment, erected to the memery of
them that lost their lives in the civil
war.. Two grate big cannons gard this
The Suthern R. R. Depo is a mitey
big hansum bildin in keepin with the
stile and progress of that hustlin city.
SIt is complete in awl its derange
ment.s fur the cumfert and conveni
enee of the :ravelin puxbliek. It shore
is a whopper.
1I went awl over the Cotton Mill of
the W. F. Poe Mfg. Co., won of the
bigest and finest cotton mills in the
south and is fit up from top to bot
tomn with awl the latest improved ma
sheenery fo-r makin fine cotton fab
rics of severil different kinds. The
mane bildirn is a eighth of a mnil long
and is over a hundred feet wide, with
fore stores and a basement.
1The mill was started up in Janu
ary, 1897, with .10,000 spindles and
300 looms, and now has bout 60,000
spindles and 1900 looms.
The plant cos't$1,000,000. The in
jine to that mill!aS .as jurty..and
shiney as a pianner' and the hole
mill was the eleenest I ever seen. This
company has got its own ice plant
and makes 3,000 pounds of ice every
da-and delivers, free of charge, ten
fpounds of ice ever day to ever fambly
on the mill hill.
I left Greenville Thursday monin
at 9.45 on my way to Newberry, S. C.,
goin by way of Greenwood.
ASK yourself the QUESTION:
Which Company offers the greatest security?
Which Company will pay the largest dividends?
Which Company issues the most complete policy?
59.3 per ct. cash dividend paid o
It PAYS the LARGEST DIVIDENDS pa
$50,000,000 is part of the exti
The Pacific. A
More than is offered by *
It wrote last year (paid for business) over $6,0(
tate), being nearly as much as any other three cor
It was organized 40 years ago on "Old Line Bn
han 40 States and Territories. It has over $13,00
iess in force
The stockholders, who are well known, and co
50,000,000 are personally liable in an unlin
ngs, for all the debts.of the Company; extra secui
ind offered only by the Pacific Mutual Life Insuran,
Jnder these same laws the directors of the compan:
)fficers. Funds must be invested in non-specul
>any funds ai e under bonds.
The Greatest Combination of Strong Ir
The Pacific Mutual Life has the best legal orga
ees of any American Life Company. It is a mediu
has many advantages not enjoyed by the Eastern "i
res. It has a surplus to policy-holders of nearly $
olders over $20,U00,000. It is governed by strinE
eposited with California State Treasurer $1,200,OC
The Cash Capital, One Million Dollars, Fully Pai
tion of policyholders. The Complete Combination I
Sickness, Accident, Old Age and Death; they emboi
ONE CONTRACT, ONE PREM
Life Disability, Accident, and Disease Insuranc
ease cost annually only $3 per $1,000. Life preni
costs policyholders absolutely nothing. Should you
why, you cease paying premiums and receive annu,
cash for ten years.
Weekly Inicome (52 weeks) in case of accident.
ayable in case of insured's permanent and total di
-l " " " death . . .
PROTECT YOURSELF in order that
Call to see us. RC
Office over;Old Postoffice, Newberry, S. C.
Liberal cortracts to agents.
If you desire to buy insurance, let'us hear frorr
Rubber Hose, Lawn
Full Line . of Geni
THE PACIFIC MUTUAL
enjoys the advantages of
1. A low rate of mortality.
2. Maximum interest earnings.
3. Minimum expense rate.
n policies maturing 1906.
id by any company.
-a protection offered by
ny other company.
0,000 of business in California (its home
sis." It is now doing business in more
0,000 Assets, over $100,000,000 of busi
nservatively estimated to be worth over
ited egree, according to their .stockhold
-ity required only by the Ca*ifornia Laws,
:e Company of Los Angeles, California.
r are liable for the wrongful acts of the
ative securities. Officers handling Com
surance Feature Ever Devised,
nization, and gives the greatest guaran
m sized Western Company and as such,.
;iants" nor by the smaller young compa- -
2,000,000. It has paid account policy
ent Insurance Laws of California. It has
0 for special protection to policyholders.
d, is special legal surplus for the protec
olicies protect for one premium against
iy 'all modem improvements" and are
lUM, FOUR BENEFITS.
e all in one Contract. Accident and Dis
um rates are low. Disability Insurance
become totally and permanently disabled,
ly one-tenth of the face of the policy In
. . . . . $50
s. - . . . .$50
. . . . . $10,000
ou may PROTECT OTH ERS.
Gen. Agt. for South Carolina.
Sprinklers and a
ry and China.