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The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, October 22, 1909, Image 11

Image and text provided by University of South Carolina; Columbia, SC

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn86063758/1909-10-22/ed-1/seq-11/

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CHANGE ANNOUNCED.
ew Train Arrangeme'nt Between
Columbia and Greenville Effect
ive November 7.
Columbia, October 20.-The Soutih
rn Railway announces :hat the
change in schedule on the Columbia
nd Greenville line will go into ef
ect on November 7. The changes
-ill be as outlined at the meeting
Id at Greenville some days ago and
ave been published. The exact
chedule figures are not yet avail
ab'le, but will be given to the press
' ortly. It is also announced that
he Pullman sleeping car service now
eing operated between Columbia and
Charleston will be extended to Green
ville on October 25.
The Pullman will be operated on
o. 15 leaving Columbia at 7:15 a. m.
or Greenville and on No. 16, leaving
Greenville at 4:20 p. m. and arriv
ig at Columbia at 10:25 p. m.
IMAGINARY INTERVIEWS.
ow You Should Approach the Dic
tator of Europe.
Walter Moore in John Bull.
How should I approach the august
presence of the potential dietator of
Europe? I asked myself the ques
tion, and pauted for a reply. Folly
whispered, "Disguise yourself as a
erman sausage." That is the wurst
f a constitution leaning towards the
absurd. "Practice the kow-tow and
appear in the gar,b of a Chinese
prince," was the next thought that
rept into my mind. But habitual
prudence and a proper sense of the
fitness of things prevailed. I decid
ed to adopt the semblance of an offi
er in the British army. How could
more easily creep into the confi
ence of the German emperor?
Making my way to Potsdam, I
rawled into the awful presence of
the kaiser.
"Hoch!" he roared, lifting his
mailed fist in greeting.
"I don't mind if I do," I replied;
"sparkling, for choice. There's a
lot of dust in the air between Ger
any and England. It has given me
proper thirst for hock."
"You mistag me," said his majes
y, hastily; "I did nod say 'hog.' 1
aid 'hoeh!' "
"I beg yours," I returned, with
ne humility; "Konnensie Deutsch
rechen?"'
"Ja!" responded the kaiser.
'Boo!" I replied, bowing. Where
pon the emperor was gracious
The
Joh
100 Feature Artis
reatest Riders Ml ost Note
Clowns! 10 M1
Traineci
-OF 70 FEET
FROM -
DOME OFCANVAS
- VROVGM SPACE
~-La?DING V_PQ.N
e1U110, Io eXtild ilis liand. whieh I
grasped warmly. and forthwith pro
ceeded to ask a few questions of pub
lie interest.
"I have called :o interview you
on behalf of the only section of the
Brithish people worth considering
the readers of John Bull. I have no
connection with The Daily Tele
graph. You may speak to me with
out reserve."
"I speag tn everybody midout re
serve," said the kaiser emphatically.
"I dread nought."
"That reminds me," I proceeded.
"What's all this fuss about your
naval programme? Why have you
decided to build a big fleet?"
"Vhat I mean ish dis," began the
kaiser, brushing the end of his off
side mustache out of his eye; you
Breetish beoble fancy ve are build
ing against you. Ve are nod! Ve are
simply brebaring for der European
armageddon, vheech must gome. Eu
rope ish arming for der gr-r-eat con
vlict vheeeeh vill convulse der world
und decide vheech ,bower shall hold
der subremacy during der resd of der
twentieth century. Shermany, hem
med in by France on der one hand
und by Russia on der udder, runs the
risk of being badly squeezed in der
vhat you call?-der shemozzle. Ja!
Vhat? Darefore, she vill build
Dreadnoughts as an additional bre
0aution."
"So you have no definite designs
against England?"
"Zerdainly nod!" was the emphat
ic reply*: "Off gourse, ve mighd find
it expedient to invade you ad some
future dade; bud you can rely ubon
our doing id ass gendly und consid
erately ass .bossible. Der time ish
goming vhen all der gondimental
bowers vill find demselfs in der
melding bot off var! Denfi self
breservation mighd gombel Shermany
to seize der Breetsh Isles. Ja!"
"But the same consideration might
compel the British Isles to resist," I
hazarded.
"Dat vos so," admitted the Kaiser;
"und if she resist successfully, Bri
dannia vill find herself once more in
der bosition off virst vorld bower, as
at der glose oq der Naboleonic vars.
If she fail,it vill be a gase off 'Goot
bye, leedle gurl, good-bye!"
"We are sure to resist successful
ly" I declared warmly.
"Dond be too gonfident," admon
ished the kaiser. "Dare ish a sbirit
abroad in your goundry vhich fills
me mit joy vhen I dink off mine fad
erland. Ja! Der voice of der 'leetle
Englander' ish heard in your land.
Your 'two-bcover standard' ish be
3 OnIy E
4 Big Circus Rings 4
WILD WE T
Three Menageries
HIPPODROME
100 New Acts
ts 100 Not ed Artists
A crobats Famed Gymnasts
enage A cts! Troup
I Horses!
Hose Back Riding
Sea Lions
Troupe Japanese
and Arabs
Warren Travis
Champion Heavy WVei ght Lifter
Lifting Elephant! Holding 12 men
on Platform on His Chest! Allowing
2 Big Maxwell Automobiles to Run
Over His Body!
COSTLLO'S RIDING ACT
TARANT'S CASTING ACT
uMNRVA SISTERS
Y Ii k ee( (1 nil i a lan i e re
Lellt( rai' Dg1 to 11 hl p -
"We have ample resourcez,' 1 de
-lared.
"You may haf-now," responded
the kaiser "bud you haf gommenced
to tags gapital-*-you haf begun to
rain der chief source off your na
tional greadness."
At that moment the German chan
,ellor hurried into the apartment,
nd rushing across to the kaiser,
:eftly gagged him. Then, turning
to me, he made a significant move
ment with his head and said in a
menaeing tone, "'Voetsack!"
"pne moment," I said. "When
re you likely to invade as?"
"His majesty will send you a 'el
?gram,"? replied the chancellor.
GREAT OROWDS AT CIRCUS.
Many People Here Plan to See Bar
num and Bailey at Colu .ibia.
Newberry will be well represented
at Columbia on Saturday, Oct. 30,
when the Barnum and Bailey great
est show on earth exhibits there on
that date, for a great many of our
citizens have already expressed them
selves as having made up their minds
to attend. A glance at the list of
-wonders to be seen with this big
show would lead one to believe that
the limit in tremendous size as well
as number of novelties to be seen has
fnally been reached. Barnum and
Bailey present this year under their
city of 14 acres of tents more things
than have been offered by all other
,,ows in years. "Jupiter, the bal
loon horse." Karolly's troupe of 16
HungariLan coal black stallions, the
musical elephants. celebrated Konyof
roupe of equestrians, seven troupes
of foreian acrobats, four troupes of
aerialists and hundreds of other
'arenic novelties all go to complete a
circus performance that has never
been equalled. The big menagerie
has been augmented by the addition of
many new strange beasts and is
larger than all the zoological gardens
in this country combined. The street
parade so gorgeous and so tremendous
in size, beggars description and in all
is a fair index to the wonderful per
formances that follow.
Strange They Didn't Meet'.
'T-he recent convention of the ad
vertising men brought together peo
ple from all over the United States.
The greatest benefit resulting from a
meeting like that is the rubbing of
elbows and getting to know tihe point
ig Sho'
Orton 's Great F
iii
Hippopotamus, Rhinocerus,
Horses, Eland, Leopards, H
Two Herds of Big I
of view -f a :ellow a thousand
miles wr so fmn home. That tends
to make provincialism disappear, and
until everybody understands every
body else better there will always be
more or less of it found.
As an in-dication that there i8
still some work to be done along
this line, one of the advertisers who
lives in the west told a story of hav
ing met a man from New York.
"Where are you from?" inquired
the New Yorker.
"Los Angeles," said the man from
California.
"Oh. I see," exclaimed th Em
pire state inhabitant. "So you're
from the west. Well, I've been west
some myself. Now, last year I was
out as far as Cleveland and stopped
a while at Pittsburg. I was all around
out west.'"
"Is that so!" said the man from
Los Angeles with a great show of
interest. "Well, I was up east my
self not so very long ago. I was in
Denver and Salt Lake City, and al
around. It's strange we didn't
meet. "-Louisville Courier-Journal.
Turning Of the Gas.
At a fraternal banquet in Wasihing
ton ong of the speakers, getting back
at the toastmaster, a clergyman, foi
some of his witticisms, told the fol
lowing:
At a church service conducted b3
the toastmaster, a lady in the con
gregation suddenly remembered tha
she had left her dinner, a roast, il
the stove at home and had forgotter
to turn down t1he gas. In her anxiet3
about her Sunday dinner she hastilN
wrote a note and handed it to he:
husband. a deacon, then engaged i:
ta' * z up the collection. Mistaking
the personal note for a church notice
the deacon carried it up and handec
it to the mini*er. who among ofbhe:
notices, re:d:
"Go immediately home and turi
off the gas.''
Wlen the laughter had subsided :
member of the banqueting part:
arose and said: "I would. like t(
suggest that the lady got her not
wrong end foremost. Sending it uj
to the minister she probably mean
to say, 'Turn off the gas immediate
ly and go home."-Pittsburg Chron
iele-Telegraph.
GEORGIA-CAROLINA FAIR
At Augusta, Georgia, November 641
1909.
The Atlantic Coasrt Line announce
SHere
~uggy Riding Act
White Bears Tier, Horne
osts Animal , el,_e_Lo
eroinedMgephans
J IP%OT
Sheet A
at10
300 Pieces 1A
Music Con
Wedding
Popular S
Instrumen
at 10
Maps' I
very low excursion rates to Augusta ]
for the above occasion and for the
visit of
President Taft.
The President is scheduled 'to
reach Augusta Saturday evening No
vember 6, spend Sunday. there and
meet and address the people of
L South Carolina and Georgia on Mon
day, November 8.
Another great event during the
Fair will be the
Foot Ball Game
between the Clemson College and
University of Georgia teams on No
vember 10, and still another will be
Ohildren's Day, November 12th.
Round trip tickets will be sold
from Savannah, Charleston, Con
5garee, Florenee, Da.rlingtoin, Cam
den, and intermediate points, Novem
ber 6 to 12, limit to leave Augusta
not later than midnight of November
ThisY
BigiS
Drove Camels
-Water Buffalos
Zebras, Etc.
King's Complete
Wild West
20 Cow Boys! 20
cans and
Stage Coach Robbery, Han;
Wounded Knee. Every
Sports and Pastin
~Company of U.
IS. Cavalry
In all kinds of Monkey Drills
and Riding
$300,000 Free
Street Parade Daily
6 Bands. 60 Cages. 10 Tableau Wa
gons. Mounted People. Led Stock.
Cavalry. Wild West. 60 Ponies.
300 Horses.
Two Performances Daily, Rain or
shine. Doors open I. and 7 P. M.
Cheap Excursions on All Railroads.
Y. oc
4'1usic
Cts.
)pular Sheet
5isting of
Marches
ongs and
tal Music
Cts.
ok Store.
5th. 1909.
For tickets, rates, schedules and
.ny desired information, cal on
J. F. Livingston, S. A. L. Ticket
tgent, Columbia, S. C., or any agent
>f the Atlantic Coast Line, or ad
Iress
T C. White,
Genl. Pass. Agent,
W. J. Craig,
Pass. Traffic Manager.
Wilmington, N C.
NOTICE.
On October 27th, 1909, at ten
'clock a. m., I will sell at my resi
lence near Bachman Chopel church,
i part of the househod goods, one
~nue, one two-horse wagon, eorn,
'der and bhay and all farming im
alements.
Terms of Sale: Cash.
G. S. Livingston.
10-19-09-2t. itaw.
ear
Cow Girls! Mexi.
Indians!
~ing Horse Thief, Battle. of
Known Kind of Western
ies of the Plains.
2, ,. 28

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