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I wish I had a million
To my credit in the bank:
A great big auto-buzzer,
. And a chauffer, for to crank.
k grip sack made of leather,
From an alligator's hide,
You bet I'd hit the highways.
And split 'em open vide.
Oh, yes, I would be tickled,
'Till I couldn't scarcely live
Thinking 'bout the boodle,
That I -had a right to give.
Thinking of the laughter,
If that should come about,
Thinking of how 'twould please me
To hear 'em sing and shout.
A dime I'd give "The Idler,"
To help him build his park,
.And celebrate the occasion
With a hundred dollar lark,
I'd burn the best "Havanas,"
Keep champagne by the ton;
I'd live on blue points, only,
Oh, I'd enjoy the "mon."
I'd drop a bright new penny
In the missionary hat,
Then swell up 'till I looked like
I'd dropped a thousand flat;
And when the preacher thanked us
For some working fellow's ten,
I'd put on holy unction,
And yell out loud, Amen.
An, then I'd climb the buzzer,
And take a spin around,
You bet I'd keep my pedals
From contact with the ground.
I'd hit some cafe sideways, -
And pass the grubs some tips,
To show me where the fellows
Were monkeying with the "chips."
I'd give my wife a dollar,
To pay the grocery bill,
A qufarter and some nickles,
To buy the girls a frilL
I'd tell her should she ask me,
For the boys, some small advance.
To dike 'em out by using
My old last summer pants.
Oh, yes, I'd make orations,
At the churches and the schSrils,
I'd tell them how to prosper
And lay them down the rules.
Old "Carnie" .an?d old "Rocky,"
No matter how they spout,
'Bout how they made their money,
Would never crowd me out.
I'd buy a seat in congress,
Or make the welkins siz,
For when I get to gouping
I'm always up to biz,
I'd acquaint them with the notion,
That I wisn't built a frump,
And when I hit the ceilingi,
You'd hear a millien dollar thump.
A Little Care Will Save Many New
berry Readers Future Trouble.
LWatch the kidney secretions.
See that they have the amber hue of
The discharge not excessive or in
Contain no "brick-dust like" sedi
Doan's Kidney Pills will do this for
They watbh the kidneys and cure!
them when they are sick.
F. L.' Paysinger, 1881 Johnson St.,
Newberry, S. C., says: "I suffered!
considerably from kidney and bladder
trouble. About six months ago I had
such a severe attack thai I found it
necessary to call in a physician. The
passages of the kidney secretions
were too frequent and often attended
with pain. I was weak and nervous
and my health . was much run down.
It was my good fortune to learn of
Dean's Kidney Pills and I procured a'
box at W. E. Pelham & Son's Drug
Store. Although I have not used themt
long, I am rapidly improving and I
know that my system is being cleared
of the uric poison that my kidneys
previously failed to remove."
For sale by all dealers. Price 50
cents. Foster-M:ilburn Co., B3uffalo,
New York, sole agents for the United.
Remember the name-Doan's-and
take no other.
OVER 85 YEARE'
Woodmen of the World.
Maple Camp, No. 437, W. 0. W..
meets every first and third Wednes-1,
day eveiug at 7.45 o'clock. Vit-1
ing brethren are cordially welcome.
D. D. Darby,
T. Burton, Clerk.
Newberry Camp, No. 542, W. o. W.,
meets cvery second and fourth W ed
nesday night in Klettner's Hall, at
0. 0. Smith, C. C.
J. J. Hitt, Clerk.
Amity Lodge, No. 87, A. F. M.
Amity Lodge, No. 87, A. F. M.,
meets every first Monday night at 8
,'clock in Masonic Hall.
Visiting brethren cordially invited.
Harry W. Dominick,
J. W. Earhardt, W. M.
Signet Chapter, No. 18, R. A. IL
Signet Chapter, No. 18, R. A. M.,
meets every second Monday night at
8 o'clock in Masonic Hall.
Fred. H. Dominick,
Harry W. Dominick, E. H. P.
Golden Rule Encampment.
Golden Rale Encampment, No. 23,
1. 0. 0. F., will meet at Klettner's
Hall the 4th Monday night in each
onth at 8 o'clock.
I. H. Hunt,
W. G. Peterson, Scribe.
Bergell Tribe, No. 24, 1. 0. R. I.
Meets every Thursday night at
Klettnar's Hall at 8 o'clock.
0. Klettner, C. R.
Cateechee Council, No. 4, D. of P.,
L 0. R. M.
Meets every Tuesday night at 8
>'clock. ,0. Klettner, R. C.
B. V. CHAPMAN
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Newberry, South Carolina
THE DOCTOR'S QUESTION.
uch Sickness Due to Bowel Disor-'
A doctor's first question when con
sulted by a patient is, "Are your bow
ls regular?" He knows that 98 per
ent of illness is attended with in
ctive :bowels and, torpid liver, and
hat this condition must be removed,
ently and thoroughly before health:
an be restored.
Rexall Orderlies are a positive,'
leasant and safe remedy for consti
>ation and bowel disorders in gener
l. We are so certain of their great
urative value that we promise to re
urn the purchaser's money in every
ase when they fail to produce entire
Rexall Orderlies are eaten like s
andy, they act -quietly and have a 0
oothing, strengthening, healing in- c
iuence o-n the entire intestinal tract. 13
hey do not purge, gripe, cause naus- h
m, flatulence, excessive looseness, P
~liarrhoea or other annoying effect.
hey are especially good for children,y
veak persons or old folks. Two sizes,n
5c. and 10c. Sold only at our store-.h
he Rexall Store. Gilder & Weeks,y
ewberry, S. C.T
Scholarship and Entrance Examina-a
The examination for the award of
acant scholarships in Winthrop col
ege and for the admission of new
students will be held at the cc,unty
ourt house on Friday, July 7, at 9
. mf. Applicants must be not less h
han fifteen years of age. When schol-.t
irships are vacant after July 7 they d
will be awarded to those making the
ighest average at this examination,
provided they meet the conditions4
overninlg the award. Applicants for
cholarships should write to Pr si
ent Johnson before the examination
or scholarship examination blanks.
The scholarships are worth $100 .N
nd free tuition. The next session iv
~vl open September 20, 1911. For fur- 6,
he information and catalogue-, ad- w
ress P:osident D. La. .Johnfson, Rock~ i
Pi!. S. C.
1HIG PRICED Q
The Ford quality hE
be made attractively low.
quality has sold all Fords s
The Ford Featuri
The Ford Motor, the
and all the important elem
We can prove this by shos
The Ford Car
If roads are poor, if hills are stec
then the FORD MODEL T shows
car, abundance of power, splendid <
tire trouble, because of high cleara:
Runabout, $600. I
F. 0. B. Factory, Equip
INewvberry, S. C.
Action Sate Hatton Property.
F:een years ago the old Garrison 1
eiAt Anderson, lying about the
iedistance from the square as the.
udhave been bought for $2,500. It
nw worth $25,000. The owners
erepeatedly refus'ed $20,000. DB
Bcrayer bought 110 feet on south
mstreet in Anderson about eight
asago for $5,500. He borrowed the
ny to pay for it, but the next year
d part of it for $6,000, and last
rhe sold the balance for $14,000.
old Hatton property here in New
~ywill be sold at auction early in
afor one-fifth cash. Look out naow
ntlet the speculators get every
n.If you are working for a sal
hold on to your job, but harv one
to years. Watch for aduts
nsof the sale.
NOTICE TO OVERSEERS.
loverseers of public roads are P r s
by notified and ordered to work
errespective sections aA least three
sby May 15, 1911.
L. I. FEAGLE,
etownship road inspectors of D
ewerry county are requested to
ctat Newberr'y on Saturday, Mayth welko
11 o'cck1 a. mn. The mieeting
l e held in the court ho'use. The pcait s
ors' ar ll earnestlY reerlustedj ioel4hwa
TQ~fl '(~rjnts~ 'tt clD o r. . E.
toOffice with Dr.
**-j W 'ior ~over J. A. Bu
~d Estate (
Thos.3. SWrY. The Herald and
L.' that gives the news
the Ford G
W-MIG PRICE QUALITY
SIN A LOW PRICED CAP*
[ALITY IN AA LOW P
s never been sacrificed tl
Quality sold the first Forc
ince that time.
s Are Original, No
Ford Ignition System, the
ents of the Ford car are disi
ring you in. detail the const
is Built for. H
kp, if land is sandy, if rocks abound,
ITS REAL SUPERIORITY. Becai
lesign, simplicity of mechanism, lov
ice, this car has become imnmensel
'orp edo, $645. Ton
ment $80 Extra. We hav
[Vachine Shop a
D Buyers Gui
L E~ RDry Goods, Clothing, Et
IMatch For Us
0N Each Friday we will tell you somethi
Igood. Be sure and read what we say.
~ONare prepaired to serve you better in t
future. We thank you f -r your patrona
N. L. Black & Sor
BIT I Prosperity, S C.
Business is continued at the well kno,
Old Reliable Stand, 943 Main St. Give
acall and see the latest In Platinum a
Gold Sepia Photos.
erity LeROY A. & MINNIE M. SALTl
(Successor.- to J. Z. Salter)
-13 Barber Shop.
Jones The Barber.
IWheli you come to tow
have your barber wok dot
Crimm by Jones the Barber.
Main Street. Prosperity, S.
n Eye Sight*
Newberry. Prsig lb
: expert work Pesn lb
wil dowel - If you want yrour ol
.W. Sih clothes to look like ne3
t.nWs Reah, bring them to the
)ffice. STAR PRESSING CLUI
News-the paper Under Crotwell Hotel.
iat the price might
[ Cars in 1893 and.
inctive Ford ideas.
ruction of the car.
if wet weather is plenty,.
ise of light weight of the
r fuel consumption, little
ring Car, $700
e Cars in Stock.
le and Classified
DIR ECT ORY
. Merchant Tailor.
For ALL KINDS of Suits
for Summer, consisting of
e Light Weight Goods, such
e as Mohairs, Cicilians, etc ,
e call on
CARLSON, The Tailor.
G. W. KINARD
Groceries and Geperal
Properity, S. C.
P. F. Baxter & Son
(successors to L. M. speers.)
Marble and Granite Dealers
Contractors and Builders
- Newberry, S. C.
- E.H. AU COMPANY
I The Quality
Specialist in Every Class
I of Job Printing.