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SUPPLEMENT.] MANNING, S. C.,
JOSEPH F. RHAME,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
MANNING, S. C.
JOHN S. WILSON,
Attorney and Counselor at Law,
MANNING, S. C.
MkNI G. S. C.
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
MANNING. S. C.
_!- Notary Public with seal.
WM. " INGRAM.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Office at Court House,
MANNING, S. C.
M CLDNIONG LUHT
PRACTICES IN COURTS OF
CHARLESTON and CLARENDON.
Address Communications in care of Man
JOS. H. MONTGOMERY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW
Main Street. SUMTER, S. C.
*!OCollections a specialty.
W. F. B. HASwoRTH, Sumter S, C.
B. S. DnrsanS, Manning, S. C.
HAYSWORTH & DINKINS,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW,
MANNING, S. C.
TR. G. ALLEN HUGGINS,
- OCFILES -
MANNING AND KINGSTREE.
Kingstree, from 1st to 12th of each month.
Manning, from 12th to 1st of each month.
9A. M.fol P.M. and2to4 P. M.
J J. BRAGDON,
REAL ESTATE AGENT,
FORESTON, S. C.
Offersfor sale on Main Street, in business
portion of the town, TWO STORES, with
suitable lots; on Manning and R. R. streets
TWO' COTTAGE RESIDENCES, 4 and 6
rooms; and a number of VACANT LOTS
suitable for residences, ant in different lo
calities. Terms Reasonable.
Louis Cohen & Co.
284 King Street.
CHARLESTON, S. C.
Importers, Wholesale and Retail Dealers in
Dry and Fancy Goods.
jWSamples and prices cheerfully sent
on application. Orders entrusted to
me will receive my prompt personal at
tention. Will be pleased to see my
friends from Clarendon County.
ISAAC M. LORYEA,
With Louis Cohen & Co.,
CHARLESTON, S. C.
Wm. Burmester & Co.
HAY AND GR ATN,
Red Rust Proof Oats, a Spe
Opposite Kerr's Wharf,
'CH ARTLETON S. C.
Mhx G. Bryant, Js. M. TEWnD,
South Carolina. New York.
Grand Central Hotel.
BEYANT & LELAND, PnoPRaEroRs.
Columbia, South Carolina.
The grand Central is the largest and best
kept hotel in Columbia, located in the El
-ACT.BUSIES CENTER OF THE CITY
where all Street Car Lines pass the door,
and its MENU is not excelled by any in the
THE BEULAH ACADEMY,
Bethlehem, S. C.
B. B. THOMPSON, Principal.
Fall Session Begins Monda, Oct. 29.
Instruction thorough, government mild
-and decisive, appealhng generally to the
student's-sense of honor and judgment mn
the important matter~ of punctuality, de
portment, diligence. &c. Moral and social
Taition from $1.00 to $2.00 per month.
Board in good families $7.00 per month.
Board from Monday to Friday per month
:$3.00 to $4.00.
p~rFor further particulars, address th
J. G.DINKIN, M. D. R. B. LORTEA.
10. Diokins & Co.,
BruggStS and Pharmacists,
PURE DRUGS AND MEDICINES,
'FINE CIGARS .AND
Full stock of PAVars, OI~s, GLuss
Vanwm~r and WHIrE EED, also
Paner and WmrrEASH EEUSHES.
An elegant stock of
SPECTACLES and EYE GLASSES.
No charge made for fitting the eye.
Physicians Prescriptions carefully
'compounded, day or night.
i, 6. Dinkins & Go.,
Sign of the Golden Mortar,
iLA2NITN, 5L C.
A PIANO TUNER TALKS.
SOME OF THE STRANGE THINGS EN
COUNTERED IN HIS TRADE.
Bats Play Havoc with the Felts-Children
Poke Canes Under the Strings-Finding
a Lost Pocketbook-Results of a Man's
"Look out for that rat!" was the excla
mation of a piano tuner to a reporter, a
few days ago, as he stood watching him
take a piano to pieces. The words had
barely been said when a large, lean rat
jumped out of the instrument and scam
pered across the room and out of an open
ddor. While he was dexterously remov
ing the rat's nest from inside the piano
the reporter asked if rats were usually
part and parcel of pianos. The tuner re
marked that -while probably two-thirds of
the instruments in residences were free
from the rodents, the other third were in
fested with them, at least that had been
his experience during twenty years of his
life. Those in the country, especially in
well to do farmers' houses, were gener
ally inhabited by rats, and in dozens of
cases fully half a bushel of small scraps
of paper that had been carried there by
the pests had been discovered. The paper
and the nests were not so bad, but rats
very frequently did the instrument much
damage. Rats play havoc with the felts
in the action, and he had repaired pianos
where the felts had all been eaten away.
Occasionally a hungry rat i. discovered
that sJiows fight, and the wielding of a
broomstick, with the accompanying
screaming by the women folk, is neces
sary to get rid of the animal -
Children oftentimes cause pianos to get
out of order, but while the trouble caused
by them is usually quickly repaired there
are times when they do more damage than
rats. Left alone in the room with an open
instrument the spirit of mischief comes
over them, and a cane or a book is poked
in under or among the strings. The
owner returns to play on the piano, and
then finds it at sixes and sevens. As
everything was all right but a few min
utes before the cause of the trouble can
not be understood, and then there is
bluster about the house. Should the
piano be a new one the maker is blamed.
the instrument is condemned, and a sharp
letter is forwarded to the seller. The re
pairer with fear and trembling hastens to
the scene, the trouble is found, and after
apologies, the whipping of the small boy
who did -he mischief, and the payment of
the bill for repairs, the piano is left to its
WHERE THE MONEY GOES.
Picking up a five cent piece lying on the
action, the tuner said: "Here is something,
too, I find as well as rats' nests and the
work of children. To be sure money is
not found frequently, especially in any
considerable amount, but the finding of
two fat pocketbooks and a ten dollar gold
piece I will never forget. The gold had
been placed in the piano for sai keeping
by a young lady, and its hiding place for
gotten, and my finding it, of cour-3,
made the owner happy. The bring ..g to
light of one of the pocketbooks made me
,50 richer, that being a present from its
loser. It had been missing for a year,
and contained $600. Detectives had been
hunting for thieves who, it was supposed,
had stolen the money. The discovery of
the pocketbook brought back the recol
lection that it had been laid on the top
lid of an upright piano, and that it had
no doubt fallen in the inside, where I had
"Instead of getting a reward I came
near being arrested, and perhaps sen
tenced to a term of imprisonment for
finding the purse. Its contents were over
$200, and like the other one, having been
carelessly left on top of the instrument,
it fell inside. Being missed w'1e I was
in the house, and the owner of the money,
a country justice, remembering where he
had laid it, suspicion rested on me as the
one who had taken it. When I remarked
the mysterious actions of the justice, his
wife and two daughters, he told me of his
loss and what he suspected, and threatened
my arrest unless the money was immedi
ately produced. It was a bad predicament
to be in, and what to do puzzled in. The
finding of the other pocketbook flashed
across my mind. I suggested a search in
the interior of the piano, and there it was
found to my joy. The old man took it
without as much as saying 'Thank you,'
and to this day 1 think he holds the
opinion that I liid it away in the piano."
Dlismarck's Weighing Machine
Close by the side of Prince Bismnarck's
bath is a weighing chair, covered with
red velvet, of the most modern construe'
tion, and the great German minister
never fails to "try his weight" at least
once a day, or to record the result of his
trial in the small diary he keeps attached
by a string to the arm of the weighing
chair for the purpose. There was a thms
when the prince sealed the somewhat
Gargantuan weight of 247 pounds; but
"much has happened since then," as is
late friend Lord Beaconsfield once re
marked. And, among other things, the
prince has taken not to "Banting," but to
a more recent system of dealing with one's
"too, too solid fiesir."~ Thanks to deter
mined perseverance in the system, the
Germanhancellor was last Friday able te
announco at the breakfast table, in a tone
of triumph, that he that morning only
weighed 100 pounds. Europe, which has
such a deep interest in Prince Bismarck's
continued life and good-health, would do
well, if ossible, to secure for -informa
tion a daiy return of the weights re
corded in the chancellor's little diary.
,-Coffee as a Disinfectant.
Coffee is a handy and harmless disinfec
tant. Experiments have been made in
Paris to prove this: A quantity of meat
was hung up in a closed room until de
composed, and then a chafing dish was
introduced and 500 grammes of coffee
thrown on the fire. In a few minutes the
room was completely disinfected. In an
other room sulphuretted hydrogen and
ammonia wvere developed, and ninety
g-ammes of coffee destroyed the smell in
about half a minute. It is also stated
that codee destroys the smell of musk,
castrum and asafetida. As a proof
that the noxious smells are really decom
posed by. the fumes of coffee and not
merely overpowered by them, it is stated
that the first vapors of the coffee were not
smelled at all, and are therefore chem
ically absorbed, while the other smells
gradually diminish as the fumigation con
tinues. The best ;w'y to effect this fumi
gation is to pound the coffee in a mortar
and then strow it on a hot iron plate.
vhich, however, must not be red hot
Owing, as it is supposed, to the sysic'
matic robbery of their nests, mocking
birds are heard less this year in Florida
A Dude and His Trousers.
"Bagging at the knees ist a matter. I
confess, which has caused me more un
easiness than I can tell you. It has done
more to turn my hair gray than anything
else. But I do not have so much trouble
now as I used to have. You know they
are wearing trousers larger now than a
couple of years ago. In fact today a well
made pair has hardly a legitimate excuse
for bagging unless they are worn con
stantly. I myself never wear a pair two
days in succession. A little while ago.
when wo wore trousers almost skin tight,
I thought I should have to go into- an
asylum. A pair worn half a day showed
a decided inclination to expansion at that
most critical point. I found myself at.
ten-ting to ward off the evil. I tried
every method I could hear of and every
one 'I could invent, but they did little
good. Finally I invented one of ray own.
I used to hang the trousers up by the bot
toms, being particular to have them hang
straight. and then I dampened the incipi
ent bags. After that I attached a, weight
of some sort to the waist band, so as to
bring the strain over the knees. The
cloth in drying came back into shape and
"Your tailor or your furnisher has no
doubt tried to sell you the device known
as 'pants stretcher.' Don't waste your
money. I have tried every kind known.
and they don't give satisfaction. They
don't stretch the cloth evenly enough, nor
is the cure permanent. That little scheme
of my own is the best I ever found. Oh,
yes; you may try it. I haven't patented
it. But if you really want fo know the
best and most satisfactory way of remov
ing bags from the face of your trousers
let me whisper it to you. Go to your
tailor. For 15 cents or a quarter he will
press them, and nothing works so well.
But when you are on the top of Mount
Washington the tailor is not there. Al
ways hang your pantaloons up carefully.
I have known fellows who would go home,
take off their coat and waistcoat, throw
them into a chair, remove their trousers,
dump them in a heap on top of the coat
and vest, and then pile the shirt and
underclothing on top of the trousers. This
is all wrong. A man's underclothing is
always a little damp, even in winter. The
coat and waistcoast at the bottom, the
trousers between them and the under
clothing, the pantaloons are certainly in a
regular sweat box. There they are, all
crumpled, creased and in a heap, and, of
course, when the wearer comes %- put
them on in the morning he wonders what
the deuce makes his trousers look so out
of shape."-Boston Cor. New York World.
Profit in Publie Enterprises.
E. R. Brady, who has been connected
with various public enterprises in elec
tricity, pungently remarked: "The aver
age American citizen will let you rob him
daily and hourly of a small amount of
money, and permit you to rob all his
fellow citizens .in a great community at
the same time,'so that in the aggregate
you have an enormous plunder, when, if
you were to take even a tithe of the
amount out of his pocket annually or out
of the public treasury he would want you
hanged to the first lamp post. The street
car lines take a penny more from every
passenger than they are justly entitled
to. Ferry boats are in the same class.
The price per thousand for gas might be
"Every telephone subscriber could pay
less for his telephone and leave still a
large profit to the companies. Telegraph
messages could be reduced, but in this
hustling and active country no one wants
to stop and consider those things. You
pay your nickel of fare on the street fr
without ever so much as a thought that
three cents fare would pay a good divi
dend on the original investment of most
of the roads. You pay $1.25 a thousand
for gas, although you know in your in
most soul that $1 is a big price. It is in
franchises of this character that money is
rapidly made, and since the people are
all willing to pay these small larcenies, I
don't know but that my original lan
guage, terming it robbery, is a little too
strong. Perhaps the fact is that the
American citizen is wiming to pay pretty
well for good accommodations of any
kind."-New York Tribune.
Fallibility of Human Judgment.
Yet, after all, isn't it rather a curious
weakness in human beings to care for one
another's opinions? Why should Jones
mind what you or I think of him or say of
him, when you and I are almost certain to
be wrong?~ Nay, why should he mind
what the majority think of him, when the
majority re usually wrong? what the
cultured minority think of him, when the
cultured minority are seldom right? what
an entire generation think of him, when
the next generation may reverse the ver
An accurate history of critic'm, for cx
ample. would be a delightful burlesque
upon the fallibility of human judgment;
only the historian should owe no fealty tc
what was current; ho should stand so far
apart from present human thought that
all its most cherished conclusions should
appear to him only shifting waves in an
ocean of folly-should recognize that our
moralities mzay be vices, our vices virtues,
our orthodoxies follies, our rascals heroes,
our masteraieces daubs, our Shakespeeares
and Goethes and Virgils and Dantes the
puerilo intelligences that their contem
poraries mostly believed them to be.
An Artfuil Little Dodger.
A ladv came out on the steps of a house
on Dunceld street and called aloud in
swet. Imrsuasive tones:
There was no answer, and she looked
anxiously up and down the street and
again called, but in a firmer voice:
Not a word. Taking in the entire hori
zn with one sweeping, comprehensive
glance. she made a trumpet of her hand
and called shrill and sharp:
Then a little pair of scurrying feet
came around the corner of the h,>uso, ac
companied by a round, innocent face,
much stained with watermelon juice, and
a sweet voice inquired:
"Did you call me, inamma?"-Detroit
Life in Paris Studios.
In no place more than agtudio is it true
that the early bird gets the woerm; but in
a studio that bird must be 'prepared to
defend her spoils. Thus it is a great thing
to be among the first to pose the model at
8 on Monday morning; but unless you are
preparesl to fight for the continuance of
your pose, you will find that each coiner
will want to alter it to suit her particular
taste. Unfortunately, malcontents have
the right to put the pose to the vote, and
it not unfrequently happens that after
you have patiently blocked in the figure
during the first hour, at 9 o'clock, when
the crowd arrives, a fresh and totally dif
ferent position is voted for and carried by
an exasperating majority, and all your
la i s.....nmnrest'5 Monthly..
i-ANDL ING OF FREIGHT.
SOME POINTS WHICH ARE OF IN
TEREST TO THE PEOPLE.
How Merchandise Is Handled by the Rail
roads-Their Methods of Raising Rates
and Settling Claims Described in 'Brief.
Sending a "Tracer."
The manner of making up through
rates, that is, rates between points neces
sitating transportation over two or more
roads, is now comparatively simple. Prior
to the passage of the interstate commerce
act. certain agreed rates prevailed at all
junction or common points (prevailed
until some one road felt inclined to cut),
and points local to one road were fixed at
as high rates as were considered necess:ury
by the road reaching them. Now, how
ever, the majority of the roads have
thrown their local territory open by ink
ing common points as basing points. and
making the rates to intermediate local
territoi-v the same as those in effTet at the
next farthest basing point. In other
words, dividing the road into g-ups. cah
group taking certain fixed rates. The
through rates are divided between the
roads forming the line, on a ;nilenge basis
-that is, each road receives a percentage
of the through rate as great as the dis
tance traversed over its rails bears to the
entire distance from point of shipment to
.The numerous cases of delays and loss
of property in transit are in a large ncas
ure due to careless or improper miarhjmg
of merchandise by the consignor. If nil
packages were properly and plainly
marked these annoying occurrences would
be reduced to a minimum. As it is, how
ever, the systematic methods of handling
freight in practice by all roads render it
almost impossible for anything to be car
ried to a wrong destination, alt hcugh
somo errors in routing occur which, in
the case of perishable freight, are equiva
lent to actual loss.
When a shipment fails to arrive on
time a "tracer" is sent after it. These
I "tracers" are in the shape of a request
upon forwarding agent to follow up
the shipment, by means of his way bill,
car number, train number, date and seals,
all of which are kept in his station rec
ords. The "tracer" is sent along the line
traversed by the shipment, and each agent
in turn notes thereon date of arrival and
departure. whether transferred into an
other car, and seal record, and forwards
to next junction point. In this manner
freight is always ultimately discovered,
though sometimes it takes considerable
time. In urgent cases this is done by
The great bone of contention between
shippers and railroads is the time con
sumed in adjusting claims. When a
claim is paid the mass of correspondence
that has accumulated is usually detached
from the claimant's original papers, and
he cannot, therefore. understand gwhy it
could not have been paid sooner. Claims
are never purposely delayed, and if
shippers but knew the amount of labor
involved. even in the simplest cases, com
plairts on this score would be less fre.
quent. The larger business houses are
gifted with more patience in this respect
than the country merchants. It is also
true, as claimed by these smaller dealers,
that the large shipper has his claim "put
throngh" in much less time. There are
sevenil reasons for this; the constant
shipper. in pfresenting a claim, accompa
nies it with all necessary documents, and
gives a clear and concise statement of the
ease, whereas the country merchant writes
a rambling sort of letter, threatening to
give all his shipments to -he A., 3. and
C. road, and to do various other terrible
ti";gs in the event of non-payment of his
claim. and studiously avoids giving par
ticulors, thus, in some cases, forcing the
railroad to make out a case against itself.
A mistake the country merchant fre
oiuently makes is to send his claim to the
shippers, asking them t o push it through
for him. This course of procedure always
causes delay. A claim presented by the
owner of the property-if bill of lading
or receipt, and paid freight bill, together
with a letter of explanation, is submitted
to the delivering road-will be handled
with dispatch, be the ceaimant a large or
As a general rule overcharge claims are
the most quicly disposed of. If occa
sioned by an error of one road in a line
such road usually stands the amount, and
if the claim be based on a rate in force
by a competing route all roads interested
w.illingly reduce to that figuro upon pre
sentation of proof.
The loss and damage claims are more
diliict-dt to handle. In the investigation
of these matters, particularly damage
claims, each road attempts to disprove
any liability, and endeavors to shift the
responsibiity upon another, and it is this
discussion between the roads which
causes the delays complained of most
frequently. The method of investigatin'g
claims of this nature is simple enough.
The shipment is traced through from
point of shipment, and the road on whose
line shipment checks damaged or short
pays the damage. It ofte-n happen~s,
however, t hat the loss or danage canno'.t
be located. It is then that correspond
ence accumulates. and the claimaant's hair
turns gray while waiting for his voucher.
In eases where it is utterly impossible to
locate the damage or loss it is the custom
for all roads participating in the haul to
join in payment of the damages. Several
roads have recently adopted the plan of
paying just claims as soon as presented.
looking to their connections to "chip in"'
Imnprovemient in Our School.
The schools should be an aid to the im
provement of man's estate. In no way
has so much been accomplished in this
direction as by new inventioas, by nme
chanics or artisans. The improvement of
our material surroundings places human
ity on a higher plane, and euables thoso
who care for it to obtain the education in
classics, etc.' which they may desire.
The tendency in the public schools should
be to educate youths so that man may
be better able to deal with his material
That can be done in connection with
the mecre bok~ education now given. But
it is not done. A small departure in that
direction has been made in the normal
training. This needs to be carried fur
ther. The expensive higher branece
should be lopped off and more aid given to
those who need it. The old methods
must g'ive way to modern ideas. Improve
ment in the school system is badly needed.
-New York News.
An Original Young XIs-.
A little miss of this city, 3 or 4 years
old, was in one of our shoe stores the
other day, and after she had been fitted
snc was asked by the salesman if she
wanted them put on. She replied: "I
dess I will wear 'em home in the box."
Turlngton Tree Press.
A Sportsman Who Examined rhem Tells
How They Are Constructed.
Through some parts of the State of
Connecticut it would be hard to pick
out a clover field of any size that did
not have a woodchuck burrow in some
part of it. Sometimes they choose a
site somewhere under the stone wall
which surrounds the field, or if there
is a large rock, as Is often the case,
anywhere about the middle of the
field, the animal will burrow under
this as a very choice location. Finally
the roots of an old apple tree or other
tree are often chosen for its strong
hold, the burrow being dug down
among them, the owner seeming to
possess a realizing sense that no one
would ever dream of attempting to
dislodge him from such quarters. As
is the case with the excavations made
for their habitations by most fossorial
mammals, the burrof of a woodchuck
at first descends obliquely into the
earth, then passes nearly horizontally
for several feet, rises moderately for
the last .half of its length to terminate
in quite a spacious and round chamber,
which constitutes the "living room" of
the entire family. In it the female
brings forth her litter and the young
remain there until they pair off and
dig their own homes elsewhere.
Such a burrow may be at least thirty
feet in length, so long that one never
th'nks of digging a woodchuck out,
but I have seen farmers bring up two
or three barrels of water on a cart and
drown the occupant of this subter
ranean establishment on a short notice
and rejoice most heartily if the pair
and perhaps seven or eight quarter
grown young are caught in at the same
time. Very often I have captured
them in steel traps set at the mouth of
the burrows, taking the precaution to
sprinkle it carefully over with fine
dirt. One old woodchuck, I remem
ber, constructed his burrow almost in
the center of a twenty-acre clover lot,
and every attempt to capture him in
any kind of atrap utterly failed. It was
the rarest thing in the world to even
catch him standing up at the entrance
of his burrow during the day, but fre
quently we would see him just head
and shoulders out of it. It seems to
me I must have fired thirty or forty
times at him under such circumstances
from the outer side of the stone wall
which surrounded the field, and that,
too, with a heavy old-fashioned muz
zle-loading Kentucky rifle, which at
seventy-five to one hundred yards was
good nearly every time for all small
game. But here every shot failed; a
cloud of dust would pull up at the very
entranoe of the burrow each time and
I would confidently walk over to pick
him out, but no, next day at noon he
was there again, looking out as smil
ing as ever. He was captured finally
by my cruelly tying a Colt's revolver
to a stout stake driven down within a
few feet of the burrow and training the
aim down the entrance and then tying
a long string to the trigger. I waited
behind the wall till he again showed
-himself, when the success of the device
sealed his doom.-Forest and Stream.
The Importance of Instl111ng Into Their
Hearts Right Motives for Action.
While we are making beautiful orna
ments for our rooms, and lovely pict
ures to hang on our wails, to delight
the hearts and eyes of our children
and friends, are we trying, also, to
adorn the lives of our children by in
stifling into their hearts and rminds
right principles and motives for ac
tionP Let us remember that memory's
hall is a spacious chamber, capable of
containing~ many pictures, and that
the scenes beizig enacted, daily and
yearly, before our children's eyes, and
in which they are taking part, are
forming pictures; and, unlike those on
our walls, they are to remai~n there
through life. If they are not pleas
ing they can not be exchanged or
effaced; so, don't you see how im
portant it is that we are very careful
in their formation? How much bet
ter it will be in after years, when they
grow up, to be able to call up pictures
of green meadows, murmuring brook
lets, the delightful woods, filled with
harmless and beautiful creatures, and
fragrant wild dlowers, than to remem
ber these places only as they were
represented to their youthful minds as
the lurking place of something dread
ful: toads, worms, bugs, and, as I have
heard children say, "wildcats as big
as a cow."
Let us try and teach our children to
be happy and enjoy their childhood
while it lasts. Sympathize with them
and try to call out all the good and
beautiful in their natures by calling
their attention to some of the thousands
of wonderful and lovely objects all
around them. Tell them of the butter
fly and the changes through which it
must pass before it becomes the -gor
geous creature sailing among the flow
ers, and of the nests of the robin or
brown thrush, with their treasures of
eggs or young birds, to be sought for,
looked at and admired, but not harmed.
Teach them the names of all the trees
and plants, and the different kinds of
birds in their vicinity, with something
of their habits, and they will soon
learn to love the study of nature, and
their minds and hands will be occupied
There's beaiuty nil around us, if but our watch
Qan trace It 'mid familiar things and through
their lowly guise.
-Hours at Home.
-A lady of Wrightsville, Ga., put
up a lot of preserves and seasoned
them with what she supposed to be
ginger. What was her horror to find
afterward that instead of ginger she
hnA nsed snuff. -..- s
FULL OF FUN.
-Dreams go by contraries. But
this is something a fellow never can
seem to remmber when he is asleep.
-Burlingtona Free Press.
-"I received two orders to-day
one for a full morocco, the other to
get out," wrote a book canvasser to a
firm of publishers employing him.
-''You have heard a cat purr. I
suppose?" asked the Judge. "Yes."
replied the Major. "But, outside of
poetry, you never heard a Cowper."
-Sweet Girl-"Mercy! It's ten
o'clock. Has time ever passed so
quickly with you as it does now? De
voted Lover (a traveling salesman) -
"Never, except at a railroad dining
-"I'm so sorry you spilt the ink,"
said the poet's wife. "Has it gone
over your poem?" "No, confound it!"
returned the poet, sadly, "it went!
over my postage stamps."-Tife.
--Masher-"My dear Miss Rustic,
you have the most blooming cheek I
have ever seen. Let me congratulate
you." Miss Rustic-'Well, you have
the most blooming cheek I have ever
seen, but I can't cngratulate you on
the fact. "--1.ondon*Punch.
--Miss Ciara-"Yes, I enjoyed the
opera last evening very much, Ethel,
and afterwards, the supper at Del
monico's. Mr. Featherly is a delight
ful escort." Miss Ethel (a bosom
friend)-"Do you know, Clara, I think
you would make a very skillful violin
player." Miss Clara-"Why?" Miss
Ethel-"You have such a natural apti
tude for working a beau."-Scribner's
-Looking out of the window into a
rainstorm, little Willie inquired:
"Mamma, where does all the rain
come from?" "From the heavens."
"And do people drink all that water?"
continued the little fellow. "Yes,"
was the reply. "Well." rejoined the
small wit, "I should think it would be
very unhealthy to drink, there are so
many dead people up there!"-Boston
-Guest (registering, to Hotel Clerk)
-"I am Editor Styggles, of the Buck
ville Gazette, but- I haven't-er-any
baggage with me." Clerk (hospitably)
-"Glad to see you. editor; that won't
make the slightest difference." Guest
-"My not having any baggage?"
"No, your being Editor Styggles, of
the Buckville (azette. Two dollars,
-Briefless (entering the office of a
fellow-disciple of Coke and Black
stone)-"How goes it with you, Quib
ble? It's as dull as ditch-water with
me; I'm not making a cent!" Quibble
-"Same here. Nary client." Briefiess
-"Suppose we go into partnership?
We might make a more respectable
appearance as a firm." Quibble (for
getting above mutual admissions)
"H'm! I don't know about that. You
see that scheme would divide profits
and double expenses."-Judge.
-Customer-"That was splendid in
sect powder you sold me the other day,
Mr. Oilman." Mr. Oilman (with justi
iable pride)-'-"Yes, I think it's pretty
good--the best in the trade." Cus
tomer-"I'll take another couple of
pounds of it; please." Mr. Oilman
"Two pounds?"' Customer-"Yes,
please. I gave the quarter of a pound
that 1 bought before to a black beetle-,
and it made him so ill that I think if I
keop up the treatment for about a week
[ may manage to kill him. "-Fun.
SAW THE CONNECTION.
Adventures of a Man Who Had No Squash
in is Eyes.
"Is that check good for any thing?"
sked a passenger off the Lake Shore
road of the policeman at the Detroit &
iilwaukee depot yesterday.
."No, sir," replied the officer, after
am inspection. "That's a confidence
mian's check. How much did you letI
"Thirty dollars." '
"WVell, you have been swindled.
Didn't you ever read of their gamnes?"
"Lots of times."
"And you were roped in?" '
"I can't help you any."
"I don't want you to. I want you toz
ook at this."
He handed the officer a parcel which, :
pon being opened, was found to con-3
ain a large bunch of human hair
which had been pulled out by theI
roots, together with a piece of a man's
"And count this," added the man, as
e held out a roll of money.
"Here are seventy dollars, and what
oes it all mean?" asked the officer.
"I'm the man that was swindled. 1
[his truck belonged to the chap who'
hought he had caught a sucker. See~
he connection? Closely observe my
eft eye. See any squash in there?
eel of my head. Any soft spots any
there around? Tr'ia-la, old boy, and
rell 'em not to weep for yours truly!"
Det ro i' ree Pr'ess.
An Evidence of Insanity.
"M~r. Yoder', youlr daughter Irene
as given me her perission to ask of
ou her hand i nmarri: ::; ~u, before 1;
ask for your fcnn::1 onsent you will C
ardon me i~f I ;aake the inquiry, as t
It is a matteri of lifelong consequence C
o mn'. whether or not there have ever p
cn any indications of insanity, so y
rar as you know, in your family?" I
"You say Irene has accepted you, y
"I am happy to say she has." f ]
"Then, sir," said the old man, shak-r
Ing his hand dejectedly, "it is Iny i
iuty, as her father, to tell you that I 8
~hnk Irene is showing decided indica- r
anna8 Of inanity.-.Chaaa Tribune. ,i
WIS OF THE PAST.
ramous Englshmen Who Said Some Very
Sharp and Pat Things.
The late Mr. Alexander, the -emi
nent architect, was under cross-exam
[nation at Maidstone by Sergeant,
afterward Baron, Garrow, who wished
to detract from the weight of his tes
timony, and, after asking him what
was his name, proceeded: "You are a
builder, I believe?" "No, sir, I am
not a builder; I am an architect."
"They are much the same, I suppose?"
"I beg your pardon, sir; I can not
admit that; I consider them to be to
tally different." "0, indeed! per
haps you will state wherein
this great difference exists?" "An
architect, sir," replied Mr. Alexan
der, "conceives the design, prepares
the plan, draws out the specifications
-in short, supplies the mind; the
builder is merely the bricklayer or the
:arpenter. The builder, in fact, is the
machine; the architect the power that
puts the machine together and sets it
going." "0, very well, Mr. Architect,
that will do. And now, after your very
ingenious distinction without a differ
mnce, perhaps you can inform the court
who was the architect of the Tower of
Babel?" The reply for promptness
and wit is not to be rivaled in the
whole history of rejoinder: "There was
io architect, sir, and hence the con
One evening at Carlton House the
Prince Regent observed the author of
"The Heir-at-Law." "Why. Colman,
rou are older than I am." George re
plied: "Oh, no, sir; I. could not have
aken the liberty of coming into the
world before your Royal Highness."
When a subscription was proposed
or Fox and some one was observing
;hat it would require some delicacyand
wondering ho.i Fox would take it, Sel
wyn said: "Take it? Why quarterly,
o be sure."
To all istters sollcitingtds subscrip
ion to any thing, Erskine has a regu
,ar form of reply, viz.: "Sir, I feel
nuch honored by your application to
ne and I beg to subscribe"-here the
reader had to turn over the leaf-"my
ielf your very obedient servant," etc.
"My Lord," said Dr. Parr to Erskine,
whose conversation had delighted him,
"should you die first I mean to write
tour epitaph." "Dr. Parr," was the
reply, "it is a temptation to commit
One of Curran's friends, a notorious
ad lucky gambler, getting entangled
n conversation with him, gradually
lost his temper, and at last said, with
treat vehemence: "No man, sir, shall
rifle with me with impunity." Curran
:orrected him by saying: "Play with
rou, you mean."
An old lady residing in one of the
charming villas near Tours, observing
that her watch had stopped, told her
aid to see what o'clock it was on the
sun-dial in the garden. In a few min
2tes Mlle. Nicole returned, quite out
)f breath and carrying something
teavy in her apron. "Ma foi,
nadame," said she, "I can't make out
what it says, so I have brought it here,
that madame may.look at it herself."
Bushe, the Irish Chief Baron, made
;his impromptu verse upon two agita
ers who refused to fight duels, one on
tcount of his affection for his wife
md the other because of his love for
Ltwo heroes of Erin, abhorent of slaughter,
Improved on the Hebrew command;
)ne honored his wife and the otherliis daughter,
That his days mnight be long in the land.
Dr. Croly said very smart things
md with surprising readiness. At his
able one day when one of the guests
nquired the name of a pyramidal dish
>f barley-sugar, some one replied: "A:
yramid a Macedoipe.." "For whati
se?" rejoined the 4ther. "To give a
hlip to the appetite," said Croly.
At the breaking up of a fashionable
arty, one of the company said he was
bout to "drop" in at Lady Blessing
on's; whereupon a young gentleman,
1perfect stranger to the speaker, very
nodestly said: "0, then, you can take
ne with you; I want very much to
:ow her, and you can introduce me."
hile the other was standing aghast
t the impudence of the proposal and
nuttering something about being but
slight acquaintance himself, etc.,
ydney Smith observed: " ir~'ge
our young friend; you can do it easily
nough by introducing him in a ca
acity very desirable at this close sea
on of the year-say you are bringing
rith you the cool of the evening."
endon Society Times.
Indian Mounds in Iowa.
According to intelligence from that
stato several Indian mounds were re
ently opened in the country around
)ubuque, "all seeming to confirm the
heory that these mounds contain the
es of a prehistoric race, differing
reatly from the American Indian, and
,vastly superior order of intelligence
,ad civilization. Last .week several
keletons, in a perfect state of preser
ation, where taken from a mound a
al from Dubuque. They have been
riculated and are now on exhibition.
hey are of huge stature. Another
rge mound, at Charles City, in Floyd
~ounty, has also been explored. Hesre
ie skeletons were in a trench, instead
f on the ground, and a quantity of
ottery, arrow-heads and stone im
lements of peculiar design were also
nund. The most curious relic was a
ase with a rim ornamented in the
aine fashion as vases found in ancient
nglish znouinds and described in the
eport of the United States Bureau of
thnology. That report states that
pecimens of this kind are exceedingly
are in this country. Further explora
lans are to be mada,"