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SOME QUEER PRAYES
Curious Mistakes That Have
Been Made by Preachers.
A CAUTIOUS SCOTCH ELDER.
The Way He Qualified in His Petition
His Praise of the Pastor's Wife.
The Blunt . ppeal of Father Taylor,
the Boston Preacher.
The most frequent cause of inappro
priate petitions is no doubt the per
sistence of habit. Certain phrases are
used again and again until they come
to be repeated without any thought of
their immediate application, says the
Christian World. We may similarly
explain the stories of the workhouse
chaplain who prayed that those pres
ent might not trust in uncertain riches
and the prison chaplain who besought
the Lord that he conduct the worship
ers in safety to their respective places
The sense of humor must surely have
been lacking in the old man of eighty.
supported by crutches, who regularly
included among his petitions at the
weekly prayer meeting the request that
he might be kept from running with
the giddy multitude to do evil. Fa
miliarity with conventional phraseology
was the undoing of the minister who,
after the sermon on the Pharisee aind
the publican. asked that there might
be poured out upon his hearers a dou
ble portion of the publican's spirit.
Not very complimentary was the use
of a well known Scripture passage
made by a minister at a wedding:
"May these persons live together in
such harmony in this life that they
may finally attain unto that state of
felicity where they neither marry nor
are given in marriage." As a conclud
ing example of the thoughtless use of
familiar language one may quote this
remarkable amalgam: "O Lord, we
praise thee that we are thine; we feel
that we are thine; we know that we
are thine; Lord, make us thine."
As in a sermon, so in a prayer, the
attempt to correct a hasty utterance
sometimes leads to surprising results.
A cautious Scotch elder, it is said, had
taken supper at his pastor's house and
in returning thanks after the meal en
tered upon a detailed exposition of
various causes of gratitude. He con
cluded by invoking the divine blessing
upon the pastor's wife as his godly
helpmeet, who h'A always upheld his
hands in every good work-"at least,"
he added in a saving clause,- "as far
as we know." It is related of a com
patriot that in a moment of forgetful
ness he ence thanked God for "the sal
vation of all men." but immediately
redeemed himself from heterodoxy by
the qualification, "which, 0 Lord, as
thou knowest, is true in one sense, but
not in another."
There are some men who seem to
think that an indirect manner of ex
pression is especially suited to .sacred
things, as the Scotchman quoted by
Dr. Boyd as saying,' "For, as thou
knowest, men do not gather grpes of
thorns nor figs of the national em
blem," and the Englishman who thus
pledged himself, "And. 0 Lord, if thou
wilt move the heart of any young man
to enter thy service, we -will show our
approval in a way which thou wilt
P'ather Taylor, the- Boston sailor
preacher, was one of the most direct
of men and on the one recorded occa
sion when he essayed a roundabout
style nature triumphed over artifice.
It was the Sunday before the state
elections, and he was praying fervent
ly that a man might be chosen for
governor who wc~ld rule in the fear
of God, who would never be afraid of
the face of clay, who would defeat the
ringleaders of corruption, who would
defy his own party if it yielded to wire
pullers, who-suddenly Father Taylor
paused and then exclaimed: "0 Lord,
what's the use of boxing the compass
in this way? Give us George N.
Briss for governor. Amen!"
The temptation to use public prayer
as a vehicle for the conveying of infor
mation has sometimes been too strong
to resist. In his lively reminiscences
published some years ago in the Wes
leyan Methodist Magazine the late Dr.
Benjamin Gregory recalled how a cer
tain Methodist minister of an earlier
generation was accustomed "to convey
all necessary directions to his younger
colleagues through the medium' of the
throne of grace." Here is an example:
"0 Lord, bless thy dear young servant.
Thou knowest his appointment for to
morrow is at --, and he will have to
stop at Brother --'s, who keeps a lit
tle shop opposite the church. Oh,,grant
that thy dear young servant may not
forget: to let the people have the maga
zines and to bring home the moneys."
The famous Dr. McCosh of Princeton
was accustomed to meet the students
in the college chapel every morning,
when he would make any necessary an
*nouncements as well as conduct C -:o
-tions. One morning in the prayer with
which the serv-ice concluded he prayed
for the president of the United States,
the cabinet. -he members of both
houses of congress, the governor 6f
New Jersey, the mayor and other offi
cials of Princeton. and he then came to
the professors and instructors in the
college. At this point there flashed
into his mind a notice which had lieen
communicated to him orally and which
he had omitted to include in the an
nouncements made just before. To
the surprise of the assembled students
President McCosh continued, -"And. 0
Lord, bless Professor Karge. wihose
French class will be held this morning
at 9) o'clock instead of 9:30. as usual."
He who hesitates much will accom
plish little.-Von Moltke.
Kills Would-Be Slayer.
.-A merciless m.urderer~ is Appeudicitis
with many victims. But Dr. Kurzs New
Life Pi!ls kill it by prevention. They
gently stimulate stomach. liver- and
bowels, pr'eveuting that cloging that
invites ap'penidcitis. curina Consti pa
tion,.Biliousness. Ch ills. .Malaria. head
ache and Indigestion. 25e at Dr'. W. E.
Brown ec Co., and J. E. Ariant.
"Are you going to attempt to an
swer all .the charges made against
"Certainly," replied Senator Sor
ghum. "Answering charges these days
is easy. All you've got to do is to say,
'You're another.' "-Washington Star.
"What is the difference between pre
ferred and common stock?"
"Well, if you buy the common you
lose your money right off, but if you
buy preferred there is a little }onger
*delay about it."--Judge
A Liar ends by making truth appear
A LAND SALE IN BOLIVIA,
Survival of a Curious Old Ceremor
Our remote ancestors did not sE
land as it is sold nowadays, the sell
merely givina to the buyer an a
knowledged deed of the premise
According to their customs. no lar
title could pass except by "transmut
tion of possession," and this they a
complished by a solemn ceremon
called by an old term a "feoffment
The seller and the buyer went c
the land together in the presen-e <
witnesses, usually most of the villa;
folks. The seller took a tuft of gra,
or a clod of earth and handed it 1
the buyer, declaring with a loud vol
his intention to transfer to him ti
possession of the land in question.
Centuries have elapsed since tl
English race has sold land in th
way, and it has been supposed th:
the practice had become extinct.
few years ago, however. a New En;
land lawyer, returned from Bolivi
gave the following account of a lar
sale within 100 miles of La Paz. ti
The Americin had climbed the Ai
des to a height of 1,400 feet, accor
panied by a native Bolivian who ha
agreed to sell some mining propert
The subprefect of the province and
notary went with them. The Indiax
living on the route were called o
as the party passed along, until final]
the complete company numbered aboi
When the party reached its destin:
tion. the prefect called the assembl
to order, declared what was to 1
done. and the notary wrote it dow:
The seller then tore up dirt ar
grass with his hands and handed
to the buyer, who at once began 1
run wildly about the land, turn some
assaults and cut up all manner <
This. the notary told the party, w.
to convince the native Indians that tl
purchaser had actually taken leg
possession of the land, and he furthi
stated that the Indians and their d
scendants would defend the newcor
er's title against any and all intrude
until he or his heirs should see fit 1
transfer the possession of thd lax
to still others in a similar manner.
THREATENED THE DEITY.
An Impious Relic of Arizona Whi
Under Spanish Rule.
Among primitive peoples gifts a
made to the gods in the hope of s
curing their favor. Quite logicall
also, when a god does not respond h
worshipers cut off their gifts to hi
and sometimes even desecrate his ii
age. But it is odd to find a surviv
of this notion amtng Christians, ho'
ever simple minded they may be.
A very curious instance is contain
in a report filed in the Smithsonii
institution at Washington. It tells <
what happened in Arizona while u
der Spanish. rule and is amusing
naive in its story of how the peop
of one department tried to threat(
the Deity and thereby make thim gi
them rain. The report says:
Considering that the Supreme Creat
has not behaved well in this province.
In the whole of last; year only one show
of rain fell; that in this summer. nc
withstanding all the processions, praye
and praises, it has not rained at all, al
consequently the crops of Castanas,
which depend-the prosperity of the whC
department, are entirely ruined, it Isd
Article I. If within the peremptory
rod of eight days from the date of tl
decree rain does not fall abundantly:
one will go'to mass or say prayers.
Article II. If the drought continu
eight days more, the churches and cha
els shall be burned, and missals, rosari
and other objects of devotion will bed
Article III. If, finally, in a third peni
of eight days It shall not rain, aul t
priests, friars, nuns and saints, male as
female, shanl be beheaded. And for t:
present permission is given for the co:
mission of all sorts of sin in order th
the Supreme C::eator may understand wi
whom he has to deal.
Economy is always admirable.
Cheyenne hatter, though, was disgus
ed the other day with the economic
spirit of a visitor to his shop. T1
visitor, a tall man with gray hai
entered with a soft felt hat. wrappt
in paper, in his hand.
"How much will it cost," he sai
to dye this hat gray' to match n
"About a dollar," the hatter a:
The tall man wrapped the hat 1
"I won't pay It." he said. "I c:
get my hair dyed to match the h:
for a quarter."-Household Journal.
Judge-You are charged with bt
glary. How do you plead?
Prisoner-Not guilty, boss, an' I
tell yo' why. In de fust place,
chicken coop doa-h wazn't eben locke
in de secon' place, dar wuz no burg1
alarm; in the third place. dar wuz
bulldog, an', in de fourf place, dar w:
no steel traps. Now, dat ain't burgla:
et all, boss; dat's jes' simply findi
chickens, an' I leabe It toe yo'sclf.'
Not So Here.
Every London man should rememb
that in the ordinary way, if he ha
reached 3 p. m. without gettxng mz
red, he is, by a merciful dispensatic
of ecclesiastical law,. safe for th
day at any rate.-London Punch.
Driven to Drink.
Artist-My next picture at the aca
emy will be entitled "Driven
Drink." His Friend-Ah, some powe
ful portrayal of baffled passion. I su
pose? Artist-Oh, no; it's a cab a
proaching a watering trough.
How can any person risk taking sor
Iunknown cough remedy when Fole
IHoney and Tar costs them no more?
is a safe remedy, contains no harm:
drgs, and cures the most obstina
coghs and colds. Why experiment wi
your hiealtLi Insist upon haring t
genuine~oley's Honey and Tar. W.
Brown & Co.
Found a Better Place.
Mak Twain said: Once when I w:
going out to visit some friends I tc
George, my negro servant, to lock ti
house and put the key under a certa
stone near the steps. He agreed
do so. It was late at night when I
turned. I wvent to the stone und
which the key was supposed to ha
been hidden. It was gone. I hunt
around for about fifteen minutes, b
still no key. Finally I went
George's house-he roomed outside
and rapped vigorously upon the doc
A black head, which I had no di
fiulty in recognizing as George's. PC
ped out of an upstairs window.
"Where did you Put that key, y<
black rascal?" I roared.
"Oh, massa," answered George,
REGULATING THE COOK.
1 The Good Housewife's Experience and
Its Abrupt Ending.
11 ".Maggie," said Mrs. Hartford sharp
r ly, "this meat is not properly tooked.
C- My husband says it is not fit for a
Zd "But, Mrs. Hartford"
E- " do not answer back, Maggie.
c- I do not care to argue with you. I
, went to the butcher myself yesterday
."and bought the steak, so I know it is
> *If you"
e "Do not be impudent with me. I
5s pave warned you several times about
o trying to correct me. You have made
e a dismal failure of today's dinner. Mr.
10 Hartford Is thoroughly disgusted with
your cooking and just left for the cafe
IP to get something to quiet his appe
it By this time poor Maggie was in
- "There is no use crying about it,"
a. continued Mrs. Hartford without the
least display of sympathy. "I have re
ie monstrated with you about your neg
lect of duty long enough. Remember,
L- now, if ti . occurs again I shall cer
a- tainly --.charge you without a mo
d m- - tice." -
73u- Mrs. Hartford awoke with a
a sudden start and, shaking her bus
is band violently, said:
it "George, I have jast had the most
lY impossible dream."--St. Louts Repub
TRAINING WILD BEASTS.
) Whips, Sticks and Iron Rods Are the
Methods That Win.
"Kindness and argymint," said the
backwoods father of live husky sons,
"is great things, but whenever I want
er persuade one o' my boys to do
suthin' in a hurry thet he do:i't want
er do I use a bale stick."
i In laying down this rule for the gov
ernment of his offspring the old back
woodsman hit the principle of wild
animal training straight in the nose.
The only use an animal trainer has for
the word "kindness" may be found in
its employment when he discusses his
d professional methods with an inter
Many pounds of good white paper
have been wasted in describing in
stances of mutual affection between
animal and trainer, but when it comes
right down to actual cases the sole
le bond between the domestic man and
the %vild beast is a good strong stick,
re and the fiercer the beast the bigger
e- and tougher the stick. Of the great
Y, army of nature fakers certainly the
is professional animal trainer is com
m mander in chief.
- hips, sticks and iron rods are the
al accepted instruments of persuasion,
v- and trainers constantly employ them.
When a wild animal is to be broken
d the first thing to break is his spirit. It
mi is done with a club. - Everybody's
ly The Cause of the Delay.
le Our small boy. Arthur. had long'be
m I lieved that. a baby in the family was
7e desirable, since most of his playmates
came from homes provided. with this
or adjunct. In good time his mother told
ahim confidentially that his oft ex
pressed wish for a family baby would
rsprobably be gratidied. The news was
dtoo good to keep. and Arthur was
promptly boasting to his nearest chum.
.e- "But when are you going to have
it?" demanded the friend.
-s "Oh, I don't know-'fore long. I
guess." answered Arthur.
I"Huh." sniffed the other. -wkat's
es the use of waiting? What good's a
babyvif you can't have it when you
want It? Why don't you g'et It right
8d "Well, you see. it's this way," ex
bIplained Arthur. driven to his 'bits'
be end: "we've ordered the baby. but we
nhaven't paid for it yetl"-Womnan's
( Home Companion.
Pleasant While It Lasted.
IHe listened intently. It was his wife
and her mother talking.
A "No. my dear." the latter was say
ting, "I must go tomorrow. I do not
al believe in a mother-in-law making long
ie visits. But, before I go. I want to tell
:r, you what a treasure I think you have
d gained in your husband. He seems to
me to be near perfection. Are you sure.
d, however, that you are not too strict
i ~with him? Do not be quick to chide
him when he stays out late. Men need
n a little latitude, you know-say two or
three times a week."
ip The man stirred uneasily in his sleep.
It seemed so real: but, alas, It was a
A Light Diet.
A certain father who Is fond of put
ting his boys through natural history
rexaminations is often surprised by
r-their mental agility. He recently ask
ed them to tell him "what animal I1s
satisfied with the least nourishment."
"The moth!" one of them shouted
confidently. "It eats nothing but
0holes. '-Youth's Companion.
ry Cordial and Confidential.
n' "How did- you get along with Ma
-- mie's father?'
Ti'ne. He said it was all right before
I asked him. And then he asked me If
I didn't know a few more -likely young
er fellows who would take the rest of his
is girls."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Made His Mark.
at "Well, young Dr. Slicer has made his
mark already, hasn't he?"
"Yes; did it on his first case."
"Great work! What did he do?"
d- "Vaccinated him." /
ar- There is many a good hearted fool.
P The trouble Is that a man doesn't do
P- his thinking with his heart.-Philadel
ne A Religious Author's Statement.
SRev. Joseph H. Fesperman, Salisbury,
uN. C., who is the author of several
ul books, writes: "For several years I was
teafflicted with kidney trouble and last
Swinter I was suddenlv stricken with a
esevere pain in my kid'neys and was con
^fined to bed eight days unable to get up
without assistance. My urine contained
a thick white sediment and I passed
samne frequently day and night.' I com
as menced takmng Foley's Kidney Remedy,
ld and the pain abated andl finally ceased
2e and my urine became normal. I cheer
in fully recommend Folev 's Kidnev Rem
to edy. W. E. Brown & Co.
er A Look Ahcad.
e Simon hna .iust paid a long delayed
bill at the grocer's, partly in response
tto many urgin;gs and partly because he
to happened to have the requisite ready
money. The grocer, an old friend in
.spite of his persistence in dunning.
.thanked him heartily.
S"Good for you, Simon," he said gra
ciously. "You deserve credit for pay
u lng up this way."
"I know It," replied Simon, "and I
wish you'd give it to me sooner anoth
VMIRES OF WEIGHT.
How Carta Pound of Food Make One
Three Pounds Heavier?
Here are two personal experipnces,
of my own that are equally striking.
After having put on rather too much
weight, probably through excess and
other mistakes of food and drink, I
played a severe tennis match and lost
seven pounds in weight. Then I took
a glass of wine and at once by this
put on two pounds. Then I took a
meal slightly larger than usual and
put on another two and a half pounds,
though the meal itself weighed only
On another occasion when I had
fasted for a day or two and had natu
rally lost two or three pounds a day
I ate a meal weighing about one pound
and went up in weight not one pound.
but three xunds.
How can only one pound in food
add three pounds in weight?
How, in the case of other people.
can thr'ee pounds-a day's food and
drink-add nothing-at all?
In my own case one principle ap
pears, and this is that my nature is
at any rate rapid in getting toward the
normal, but comparatively slow in get
ting far below or far above the nor
A not uncommon but very striking
phenomenon is that of the shampooer
in a Turkish bath in London. He finds
that after his day's work, which in
volves copious sweating and hard
physical exetcise and scarcely any
thing to eat or drink, he goes up in
weight some two or three pounds mere
ly by resting.-Eustace Miles in Metro
STRANGER THAN FICTION.
The Way the Captain of a Slave
Trader Was Convicted.
Rfomance writers are often blamed
for making the plots of their stories
turn upon slight chances and improba
ble incidents, but here is an incident
in real life stranger than fiction.
In 1799 the cutter Sparrow brought
the brig Nancy into harbor at Kings
ton, Jamaica. under suspicion that she
was engaged in the slave trade. But,
although many circumstances pointed
to this fact, no clear proof could be
obtained, as the brig had no papers
from which the charge could be sub
stantiated. The suspected vessel was
therefore discharged, but the day be
fore she left the harbor a man-of
war arrived, bringing some documents
that clearly proved her guilt.
These papers had been obtained In
a "highly improbable manner." While
cruising off the coast of Santo Domin
go the crew of the man-of-war had
amused themselves by fishing for
sharks. One monster was captured
and cut up on deck, and in its stom
ach was found a bundle of ship's
papers, the very documents flung over
board by the captaln of the Nancy
'when he was boarded by the Sparrow.
Curiosity led the captain of the man
of-war to clean and examine the
papers, and the result was that he
brought them before the authorities at
the nearest port. The unlucky brig
was condemned on this romantically
acquired evidence. - St. Paul Pioneer
A Lame Excuse.
"A French sentinel in Algeria." siid
a playwright. "bad for hise colonel a
very tall, lanky, round shouldered man.
This round shouldered colonel one
night was making a quiet inspec
tion. Passing the sentinel, he found,
to his rage and indignation, that he was
not challenged. So he returned to the
man and roared:
"'You didn't challenge me!'
"'N-no, sir.' faltered the sentinel, sa
"'Well, why didn't you?' the colonel
"'Excuse me, sir,' said the sentinel,
but I thought--I beg your pardon, sir
I thought you was a camel.'"
H a ho had been playing golf
with a clergyman heard him swear
two or three times under his breath.
Suspecting the lapse, he could not be
~sure of it until one monosyllable
came out with unmistakable clearness.
After he had finished the match a
friend of his said: "I saw you play
ig just now with the Rev. Mr. Dash.
Of what dlenomilnation is he?" "Some
people say he Is a CongregationaLlist."
replied his late opponent. "but I should
call him a Profaxiitarian."-Argonaut
An Air Loving World Wanted.
Once get a nation into inviting fresh
air instead of barring it out, and not
only is that nation going to repel con
sumption, but it is going to better it
self physically in such a nieasure as
to be pracedcally immune from other
diseases. An air loving world Is what
the scientists are aiming at.-Philadel
Mrs. X. (away from home)-John.
did you leave out anything for the cat
before you started? Mr. I. (wvho dis
likes the b'east)-Yes, I left a can of
condensed milk on the table. with the
can opener beside it.-Boston Tran
Bad and Good.
Miss Sue Brette-And you say he
took aim and threw an egg at you?
Foote Lighte-He did.
"The egg was, but the aim was not."
-Kansas City Independent.
The Old Moons.
Little Dot-IS there a new moon ev
ery month, mamma? Mamma--Yes.
dear. Little Dot-And does God cut
the old moons up and make stars of
Simple Remedy For La Grippe.
La grippe coughs are dangerous as
they frevuently dievelop into pneumonia.
Foley's Honey and 'Tar not only stops
the cough hut heals and strengthens the
lungs so that no serious results need be
feared. The genuine Foley's Honey and
Tar contains no harmful drugs and is in
a yellow pack-age. Refuse substitutes.
W. E. Brown & Co.
A clergyman was an important wit
ness in a horse dealing case. He gave
a somewhat confused account of the
Itransaction in dispute, and the cross
examining counsel, after making sev
eral blustering but ineffective attempts
to obtain a more satisfactory state
"Pray, sir, do you know the differ
ence between a horse and a cow?"
-"I acknowledge my Ignorance," re
plied the reverend gentleman. "I hard
ly know the difference between a horse
and a cow or between a bull and a
bully-oly a bull, I .am told, has
horns, and a bully"--here he made a
respectful bow to the advocate-"luck
Here and there on an Atlantic liner
I midocean sailors With pots of paint
nd huge brushes painted cowlvs, stan-'
hions~, rails, everything they could
rach. Suddenly dropping his brush.
ne of these sailors rushed to a man
i a black suit.
"Oh, sir," he cried distressfully,
you've sat down on fresh white
With a roar the man leaped to his
fet. curved himself acrobatically and
tared at the seat of his trousers.
"But I've got a bottle of benze ine
my bunk," said the sailor. "I'l run
nd get it. I'll have your pants all
ight in a jiffy."
Soon the pants were all right, and
he man ere he strolled jauntily off
( little wet and smelly. perhaps) gave
he sailor a quarter.
"That's the third toda-y, Bill," the
tan said to his mate. "I tell you^
hat with all this paintin', us jackies
o durn near as well on tips as the
"That's right," said Bill. "I made a
ollar myself yesterday with that little
ottle of benzine."
The Children's Friend.
Mr. C., a distinguished lawyer of
oston, was -on his way to Denver to
ransact some important business.
uring the afternoon he noticed in the
pposite section of the Pulman a
weet faced, tired, appearing woman
aveling with four small children.
eing fond of children and feeling
sorry for the mother, he soon made
riends with the little ones. Early
te next morning he heard their eager
q mestions and the patient "Yes, dear,"
f the mother as she tried to dress
em, and, looking out, he saw a small
white foot protruding beyond the op
osite curtain. Reaching across the
isle, he took hold of the large toe
nd began to recite, "This little pig
went to market; this little pig stayed
at home." The foot was suddenly
ithdrawn, and a cold, quiet voice
aid, "That Is quite sufficient, thank
Mr. C. hastily withdrew to the
smoker, where he remained until the
rain arrived in Denver.-Good House
Hard and Soft.
"What," ask-ed the teacher. "does
"That's a kind of coal," said little
"Yes. Anthracite coal Is whiat we
call bard coal. So 'anthracite' must
:ean 'hard.' Now, can you tell me
hat 'bituminous' means?"
"That's coal, too."' Willie replied.
"But it isn't the same kind of coal
that anthracite is, is it? Bituminous
oal is what we commonly refer to .as
soft coal. Now, Willie. let us see if
you can form a sentence containing
the words anthracite and bituminous."
Willie thought the matter ov~er for a
oment and then said:
"He:e's one: 'This morning before
a started downto-wn ma wanted $5
for groceries and things, and she tried.
o get It by saying bituminous words.
but pa gave her an anthracite look,
and when he disappeared around the
orner she was weeping bituminous
Will cure any case
Sbeyond the reach of 1
A Piohibited Weapon.
Every traveler knows that there are
certain restrictions upon the introduc
tion of arms into foreign countries. .
Among the weapons which it Is forbid
den to take into France is ,he "trom
blon," which Is expressly mentioned in
the Bengal code as a weapon the carry
ingand sale of which are not allowed.
And yet the "tromblon" is not a fire
arm which is commonly used now
adays, for it is nothing else than the
blunderbuss, a weapon which old cari
catures show to have been carried by
the guards of coaches as a protection
against highwaymen and to have been
hung over his fireplace by John Bull
at the time of the scare of a Napoleonic
invasion a hundred years ago. The
blunderbuss had a flintlock, a short
barrel and a muzzle like a trumpet, the
bell mouth being designed to scatter
the slugs with which the primitive -
piece -was charged. Any one who buys
one at an old curiosity shop had better
take care how he introduces. it into
France, for the penalty for doing so is
a fine of 200 francs.-London Chron
Took His Joke Seriously.
A funny incident occurred aboard
one of our big. battleships. While at
anchor off some large city a delega
tion of ladies representing the W. C.
T. U. came aboard and were much in
terested In all they saw. One of the i
visitors, spying the chit box for the
wine mess, wSch was fastened up in
the ward room, inquired what it was.
A young officer, being facetiously in
clined and not for one moment suppos
Ing that his joke would be taken seri
ously, told her It was a box for foreign . .J
missions and that the officers were al
ways glad to have all those who came
aboard contribute. Nothing more was
thought of the matter till the end of
the month, when the box was opened "
and, to the astonishment of all, was ,~
found to contain $12.30. The'dilemma .
was overcome by sending a check for'j
the amount,' together with a letter of '
explanation, to the- secretary of the -
navy requesting that he have It for
warded through the pi-oper channel to
the cause for which It was contrib
uted.-Army and Navy Life.
Interpreting a Gift.
A Philadelphia man sent as a pres
ent to his son and daughter-in-law a
gold eagle and with it the following
"The woman on the face of this coin '
is for you, Clarence, because men
usuaUy like good looking women. The
eagle on the reverse, with the feathers
on its legs, is for Lottie, because wo
men are supposed to like birds and
"The 'E Pluribus Unum,' which you
know is translated 'One of Many'
means that of the many of them you
would like to have this is the only one
"The thirteen stars, being an un
lucky number. indicate the hard luck EF
many of us have in our efforts to gath
er in the quantity of these coins we Dr
really have need for, but, then, the to1
forty-six stars around the rim tell you Ga
that by working like 'forty' six days In -
the week you can probably accumu
late enough to see you through."-F
of Kiny Or' Bhdde Diset
~eicme. No medicine can dc
W. E. BROWN & CO.
Sy the Chemist or the cManufacturer
CHARLESTON, S. C.
than we quote mean but one thing
the goods are of ,inferior quality- -
Remember, "The best -is none too
good.' And the best is the cheqpest,
be it Dry Goods or Groceries.
STURAUSSIROGAN -coMP I.
SUMMERTON S. C
BANK OF CLARENDON, Manning S C.
We solicit your banking business. It is to your interest to
patronize this safe and strong bank, Four years of con
tinued growth and operation without the loss of as much
as a dollar, speaks for itself, does it not?
We want to be your bankers, ifyou are not already a
customer, come and see us about it and tell us why. If
yu are, come and' see us anyhow. It is never too late-to
la good thing for yourself. . -
Interest Paid on Savings Deposlts.
BANK( OF CLARENDON, Manning; S. C
rEn Your Job Printn to Th Thues
EATY & BEATY, E N O gC
[GINEERS AND CONTRACTORS. . TO TOWN CALL AT
ivil Engineering, Land Surveying,9
ainage. Prompt attention to out-of
n patrons. SH AVING SALOON
luchat Building, MANNING. S. C.
Which is fttted uip with an
0EY3ffIE TA R --e theco-ftofhi
asheoghadeaslns customners. .. ..
~p~t. co.~hHAIR CUTT136
Cures Backache IN ALL STYLES,
Corrects I SAIGAJ
- rregularities H A MPO OI NG
Do nrot risk having Done with neatness and
se not Ei-ht's Disease dispatch.. .. ....
more. or Diabetes a codals invatii
ia extended. . .
A Manning Tim'es Block.
Doors, Sash, Blinds,
Moulding and Building
* ~CHARLESTON, S. C.
Sash Weights and Cords.
Window and Fancy Glass a SpecialtJ.
w. o. w.
Meets on fourth Monday nights at
Visiting Sovereigns invited.