EL PASO DAILY HERALD, THURSDAY. JUNE 21. 1900.
STAVING OFF A BILL.
THE GRAND PROMOTER EXEMPLIFIES
IT AS A FINE ART.
Major Crofoot Orgrnnizea m
Scheme of Glxantic Proportion
mad Generously Takes In Ills Print
er on the Ground Flour.
Copyright, 1900, by C. B. Lewis.
It was the printer "with his bill for
3,000 office cards, and lie knocked on
Major Crofoot's office door In that half
hearted way adopted by creditors who
feel that they must call and yet have
no faith that the bill will be paid.
"Come in. and gootl morning to you
jrood morning:' shouted the major as
he spransr up and. extended his hand
and shook so heatily that the caller's
hat was nearly jostled off his head.
When the shaking' had been concluded,
he said: '
'I have bec.-n expecting you up here
every day or a week, and if you
simply to rest easy."
hadn't called today I should have sent
at messenger to hunt you up. Did you
remember to bring the bill?"
"Yes, sir," replied the printer as he
handed it over.
"Oood! Let's see. It's for $4.50,
and I pronounce it correct absolutely
correct. There never was a more cor
rect account rendered never In this
commercial world. And now you want
a. check for it, of course? I must ask
you to excuse me that this trifle has
ran so long, but when a man is dealing
In millions he is apt to forget dollars."
That is all right major," replied the
printer as a soft smile stole over his
face, and he began wondering why he
had ever called the promoter a dead
"Thanks for your confidence your
financial confidence. I like men to
have confidence in me. Let me tell
you, sir, that the man who puts his
trust in Major Crofoot, grand promo
ter, gigantic originator and tremendous
consolidator, loses nothing by it. Here
is a bill for $4.50. It has run for weeks
and months. Instead of wearing out
the stairs and pounding on my door,
you have been content to let time slip
along. You felt that your money was
safe. You believed that I would pay
on presentation. Ah, sir, but I love to
witness such exhibitions of confidence
I love to do it! Let us shake hands
"I'm in a bit of a hurry this morn
ing," remarked the printer as a doubt
suddenly entered his mind and sent a
chill up his back.
"Ah, yes, of course you are of
course and my time is also limited,
but do you know what I am going to
do? Instead of debating about a bill
for $4.50, I am going to talk to you of
thousands and hundreds of thousands
and millions. My dear man, you have
arrived at an opportune moment. It
almost seems as if the band of Provi
dence was in it. Having displayed
your confidence in the financial in
tegrity of Major Crofoot and arrived
at an opportune moment, what fol
lows?" "You pay the bill for $4.50," replied
"It follows, sir it follows as natu
rally as night follows day, but with a
heap more cash in It that I take you
in on the ground floor. Behold those
Iapers on my desk. I bad just ceased
to figure when you came in. I had
finished the last line of my prospectus.
Behold, sir behold the organization of
the "Wide World Chicken and Infant
Raising company with a capital of
"Major, I called"
"You called, sir you called at an op
portune moment. By calling you put
it in my power to prove my gratitude
in something besides words. What is
the Wide World Chicken and Infant
Raising company? As Its name im
plies, the object is to raise chickens
and infants. How, sir, how? Ah, that
is .Major Crofoot's great discovery,
which has enabled him to organize a
company on a basis of $20,000,000.
The discovery is not original, but we
apply it as it has never been applied
before. We incubate chickens, but by
the million instead of the score. Take
your pencil .nd figure a little."
"But I came up for my $4.50," said
the printer In ugly tones.
"Take yonr pencil and figure. Eggs
can be bought for 20 cents a dozen.
Por 2 cents additional one dozen chick
ens can be roduced. Four cents more
and you have a dozen spring chickens
worth 50 cents apiece at the incubator;
total for eggs, incubating and feeding,
30 cents; total for chickens, $6; clear j
profit to divide up on every dozen, !
$5.70. Can Cripple Creek or the dia- I
mond mines beat it? We produce 20,- I
000,000 dozen chickens per year. . Fig-!
ure it out, lan, figure it out. Do you
want greater dividends than 70 per
cent on your capital? If you do"
"What about this bill?" demanded
the printer as he lifted it off the desk
and laid it back again.
"If you do," continued the major as
he walked bout the room with bands
crossed' under his coattails, "then you
shall have It. We incubate infants In
the same maclrfnes, with only a thin
partition between. We take infants
after they are 24 hours old white,
black or any other color and without
reference to sex and we bring them
op until they are a year old at so much
per week. Terms are strictly cash in
advance every Monday morning, and
every kid is marked on the right heel
with our stamp and can't get lost or
mixed up in the shuffle. While we are
hatching 1.000,000 dozen eggs we are
bringing up 100.000 infants. I put
the number at that, but it may be a
few dozen more or less. Two dollars a
week for 100,000 infants is over $10,
000,000 per year. Call the expense for
milk, paregorie and toast $1,000,000,
and what profit do you have left?"
"But I have come here to collect a
"The $9,000,000 profit on the infants
added to the profits on the chickens
gives us a dividend of $1.20 on the dol
lar, and can you ask for more, sir can
you do it? Why, man, the wealth of
Golconda Is not in it! The De Beers
diamond bonds are waste paper in com
parison! And you are to share in it.
You are no longer a struggling printer
on the seventh floor back, but a mil
lionaire on the first floor front. I take
you In. I allot you $100,000 worth of
stock at 30 cents on the dollar, and in
two weeks, if you care to sell out, I
buy it at par. That's your reward for
your confidence in Major Crofoot; that's
"But I have no confidence In you!"
shouted the creditor. "Pay this bill,
and you can incubate and be hanged
and keep all the profits!"
"You have simply to rest easy," con
tinued the major as he began to walk
on the man's toes and drive him to
ward the door. "Just keep quiet for a
couple of weeks, until the stock is is
sued. If anything was said - at the
"What you pushing me for?"
"If anything was said at the present
time, some one might cut in on us. Just
go right back to your shop"
"I want that money!"
"and keep mum, and the stock will
be sent to yon in due time. That's it
good day good day. Your confidence
in Major Crofoot has brought its re
ward." "Look here, major!" shouted the
printer as he hammered on the out
side of the door, "you are an old dead
beat! You you"
The bill was shoved under the door
against his toes. He picked it up,
gave the door three hearty kicks and
slowly went down stairs. He realized
that he had been taken in on the
ground floor. M. Quad.
One of tbe Most Difficult of Lan
gnasr to Learn.
It is well known that the Chinese
language is one of the most difficult to
master, and for us to attempt this task
after we have finished our school years
is excessively trying and difficult. Cer
tainly the mistakes one hears of as be
ing made by those who begin to talk
and, worse still, preach in a language
they fondly imagine they have mas
tered are ludicrous in the extreme.
I heard of a clergyman who was
preaching to a Chinese congregation in
the vernacular. "Come to God, oh, my
friends; come to God!" he cried (or
thought he did) and was considerably
surprised to find some of the congrega
tion with broad grins on their faces,
while others were frown"ing blackly.
Great was the good man's consterna
tion when he found he had been say
ing, "Call the pigs, oh, my friends; call
the pigs!" His mistake, I believe, was
due entirely to putting the accent on
the wrong syllable, which altered the
whole sense of the words.
The Chinese seem to regard a for
eigner speaking Chinese like Dr. John
son regarded women preaching. "It .is
like a dog standing on his hind legs,"
said the learned doctor. "You are not
struck with admiration at how well he
does It, but you are surprised he can
do it at all." Leslie's Weekly.
A Phillips Brooks Story.
The spirit of love and kindliness to
all which pervaded every word and
deed of Phillips Brooks did not hinder
his keen appreciation of others' fail
ings and shortcomings or his own.
"Why in the world doesn't Brown
write his autobiography and have It
published?" said one of the bishop's
friends, referring to an incessant talker
and most egotistical man who had been
wasting an hour of the bishop's most
precious time by a rehearsal of some
"Why, he'd rather tell it, of course,"
said the bishop, and then like a flash
came regret for the quickly spoken
truth, and he turned on his friend with
a half humorous, half distressed face.
"What do you mean by asking me
such a question as that when I'm off
my guard?" he demanded reproach
fully. Youth's Companion.
"Setting; the River on Fire."
In old English times, when each fam
ily was obliged to sift Its own flour, It
sometimes happened that an energetic
man would turn his sieve so rapidly as
to cause it to catch fire. The style of
sieve used in those days was called a
"temse," and it became a customary
saying that a lazy man would never set
the temse oi fire. Now, it happens
that the name of the river Thames Is
pronounced like the name of this old
flour sieve, and after many years, when
the old fashioned temse was forgotten,
A was thought that setting the temse
on fire meant setting the river on fire,
and that is why today we say that a
stupid person will never set the river
on fire. Ladies' Home Journal.
In every family you'll find an old
man trying to quit smoking and a
yoang one trying to learn. Atchison
Age may not be garrulous, but there
Is no denying the fact that it tells on
both met and women. Exchange.
You're a gainer by
buying Coal of ua. An boneet ton
weighing 2000 pounds, delivered at
a short price, that's our specialty.
There are no kickers on our list
because we satisfy everv customer.
Taking the year through, the ou
lay for coal Is large, and the e '
pendlture should be made wise'
Just give us a chance and wr J
make you come out ahead.
Payne-Badger Coal c
WHOLE8AL1 AND RETAIL DIALERS IN
Wood, Lime, Cement, Plaster
Telephone 389 Second and Chihuahua
In yonr pocket If the hoaae yon buy oi
build Is constructed with
from our yard; and you will make no
mistake If you buy your
FEED AND FUEL
of all kinds from us. We carry the beat
of everything In our line.
Offiice: 411 Santa Fe St.
Link Saloon and
Short Order Restaurant
Cool Lemp's Beer Always on
Oysters, Fish and Game In
Wine Rooms Attached.
215 El Paio St
want to find a man and
don't see him on the
streets, go to the . . .
Is st last blessed
with a flret-clase
The Fuel Company's new hotel at
Capitan will be formally opened to the
public on May 15th. Spacious, new and
handsomely furnished rooms have been
added, and guests have tbe cboioe of
either American or European service.
Short order service at all hours, and a
well stocked lunch counter with all the
delicacies of tbe season awaits the
weary traveler directly opposite the
depot MA CHUCK, Proprietor,
Capitan, New Mexico.
Many delightful summer resorts are
situated on and reached via Southern
Railway, Whether one desires the sea
side or the mountain, the fashionable
hotels or country homes, they oan be
reached via this magnificent high
way of travel.
Ashevllle, N. C, Hot Springs, N. C,
Hale Springs, Tenn., Roan Mountain,
Tenn., and the Mountain
resorts of East Tennessee and Western
North Carolina, "The Land of the
sky," Tate Springs, Tenn., Oliver
Springs, Tenn., Lookout Moun
tain, Tenn., Monte Saoo, Hunst
ville, Ala., Lithia Springs, Ga., and
various Virginia Springs; also the
seaehore resorts, are reached by the
Southern Railway on convenient
schedules and very low rates.
The Southern Railway has Issued a
handsome folder, entitled "Summer
Homes and Resorts," descriptive of
nearly one thousand summer resorts,
hotels and boarding houses, including
information regarding rates for board
at the different places and railroad
rates to reaoh them.
Write to C. A. Benscoter, Assistant
General Passenger Agent, Southern
Railway, Chattanooga, Tennessee, for
For Over Fifty Years.
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup has
been used for children teething. It
soothes the child, Boftens the gums,
allays all pain, cures wind oolio and li
he best remedy for diarrhoea, twenty
fire cents a bottle.
Civil and Mechanical
JAMES H. MARTINEAU.
Civil, Hydraulic and Mining Engineer.
Have Had Forty Years' Experience.
colonia jtjarez. : : : : Mexico.
J. A. Halsted
119 San Francisco St.
We act as agents for Shippers to Smelter
Control and Umpire Work a Specialty.
Weare prepared to handle ores from a hand
sample to five-ton lots, as we have
tbe LARGEST crushing power plant
of any office In the Southwest.
We carry a
in El Paso.
L PASO MINE, MUX, AND
SMELTER SUPPLY HOUSE.
Assay and Chemical
If yon want reliable assays and analy
ses give us a trial.
The only power crashing plans In an
assay office south of Denver.
Careful attention given ore shipments
to El Paso smelters.
208 MESA AVENUE,
P. O. BOX 97. El Paso, Texas.
Independent Assay Office
Agont for Ore Ship,
per. Assays and
1518 SXAVIXKD AHD
Bullion Work i Specialty.
. . sex .a.
Offlc and iADoratoiTi
Cor. San Francisco m
EL PASO. TEXAS.
For the Toilet Table
our Complexion Creams, Toilet Waters,
Perfumes, and Powders are Indispensa
ble for the refined and dainty woman.
We have everything in toilet articles in
sponges, loofahs, sea salt, fine soaps,
batb, nail and tooth brushes, that are
of superior manufacture and reliable
J. A. ROGERS.
Real Estate and Rental Agent
Proprietor CHOPIN HALL, the on 'first
class hall In the city for Dances, Concerts
Socials, Lodge Meetings, Oack Walks, etc.
FOB SALE! -9-room brick residence neat
Hotel Dleu; easy terms.
Collections promptly made and remitted.
OVee In rear Chopin Hall.
San Antonio Street.
Every One Eats
SILVER KING CAFE
Most popular lunch counter In the
city. Anything you want: the best of
food and the best of service.
"The best Chill Con Came in tbe city
every night at 8 o'clock."
Open Day and Night..
STEIN & UHLIG, Props.
209 San Antonio St - EL PASO
Mine, Bill, and Smelter Supply House;
STORE AND WAREHOUSE: EL PASO. TEXAS.
N. OREGON 8T MILLS BUILDING
ranch Oompanla Industrial Mexicans. - Gen. Office and Works i Chihuahua, Mas
FOB THE KEPOBLIO OP MEXICO we are the LARGEST
and, practically. ONLY MACHINERY MANUFACTURERS
WHO MAN OFAOTUBE
CONCENTRATING MILLS, STAMP MILLS, CYANIDE
MILLS, CHL0RINATI0N MILLS, PAN
Hoisting Plants, Pumping Plants and Wire Rope Tramways Complete.
Write for estimates and prices before purchasing elsewhere.
JUAN A. CREEL, Gen. Mgr.
I WRITS Fire Insurance in strong
espeolal attention to correct policy
Fair rates and good treatment. I
311 Oregon Street
NAGLEY and LYONS,
Suooessors O&lci-well TJxi.cleirtsJKJ.xa sr. Oo.
Expert FunerallDirectors and Embalmers
Office Open Day and Night
mm m sSSsSftJ'seesei
J. JR. McGIBBON,
808 El Paso Street. Opera House Block.
STOVES ST. CLAIR STEEL RANGES, CROCKERY, LAMPS.
Refrigerators Cheap In Order to Close Out.
324 & 320IElPasoBSt.
-tarsa and Carriages Furnished:
Osteopathy, Massage, Yogi Breathing,
Will Cure any Curable Disease.
When drugs and medicines fail, come and consult me.
615 Mesa Street.
DR. NG CHE HOK
Graduate Chinese Physician
OTor 90 years' ex
erleoce In treating
.11 diseases of men
He guarantees to
rare Blood Poison.
Loss Manhood, Skin
j Hernia, Gonorrhoea,
i -crofula, Paralys s.
s -asesor tsrain. Heart,
,Lung. Kidneys, Llv-
r. Bladder, ana an
"em ale Complaints
All diseases cored
! inclusively by Chi-
iese herbs without
Hours: 9 a. m. to 8 p. m. ; Sundays, 10 a. m
P "office, 105 Myrtle Ave.
Off 8an Antonio St., next Delaware Fur
Special attention given to Real Es
tate and Probate Law. Will practice
in all the courts.
ROOM S, UUNDY BLOCK.
ET, PASO. - - TEXAS
If you want a Nobby and
Neat 8uit of the best material
NAP J. ROY.
The Merchant Tailor
of El Paso. wMcwaaasa
All Remedies Furnished.
Special study and experience for 24 years
In diseases of Women and Children, Obstet
rics and Chronic Diseases. In treating to cure
Consumption, the Creator's laws are followed.
Office and Residence The front suite of
rooms up stairs, 100 El Paso street.
Office Hours Early and afternoons. WHl
also do general practice.
Shady Grove butter 2 lba for 45 cents
at El Paso Grocery.
We have recently added to our stock In El
Paso a complete line of Assayers' Balances
and Supplies, Electrical Fixtures, Motors.
Etc., Asbestos Packing and Covering, and
have a heavy stock of Mining Machinery,
Pipe and Pipe Fittings, Steam Fittings of
Every Description, Blacksmiths' Supplies,
including a heavy stock of Round, Square and
Band Iron, Sheet Steel, etc., and, in fact, have
now in our warehouse in El Paso such a com
plete stock of Mining and Milling Machinery
and Supplies as will make it tQ your interest to
write us before placing your order elsewhere.
B. L. BERKEY, Mgr.
agency companies only, and give
forms and adjustment of losses.
solicit a share of your business.
Horace R. Chase
El Paso St.-
- - - - Telephone 197
Phones 71. 6QZ& 196.
GEO. P. WELCH. 0
El Paso, Texas O
Mexican leather carrer ai work.
Call on ua.
W G.WALZ COiyOludadJuaTCrjbUaE
Op Custom House.
La Union Cloar Factory.
The beat grade of Mexican cipari
x ne v ictoria uoion a specially, we
do a strictly wholesale business. Mall
orders promptly filled.
A. ALVAREZ, Prop.
204 Mesa Ave., El Paso, Texas i
When in JDAREZ insist upon having
. Cigars, manufactured by
Balsa y Hermano, Vera Cruz, Mex
xne only Mexican cigars that have ta
entre to the leading- clubs of the Dnltel
States and Europe. Special brand. "FLOB
IF YOU WANTi
GOLD AND . . .
In the Jarilla Camp, or Interests In
same call on or address, A. W. QIF4
FORD, Box 12, El Paso, Texas.
First-class restaurant in every respect
First-class cooking. Short orders da
Dinner Daily at 3 p. m.
123 El Paso St., Next toJCooper't
The "STAR" Livery. Feed
44 Cola CiaMsclOor. W. Overlai
0UU uaib Oiauiba an Banta Fe Sts.
BEST AND CHEAPEST
RIGS IN CITY.
J. CALDWELL., Prop. PHONE f
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