Newspaper Page Text
The San Francisco Call and Post
F. W. KELLOGG, President and Publisher
JOHN D. SPRECKELS, Vice President and Treasurer
Money of Widows and Orphans
Safe in City Bonds
Superior Judge Gives Good Advice: "Buy San Francisco
Securities With Trust Funds"
In the dark ages of a few years ago, when capital tried to pre
tend that the government had no right to investigate its methods
and its earnings, the more imaginative of the special pleaders used
to invoke an interesting sentimental reason to forestall investi
gation. These sentimentalists would say that any curtailment of
the earnings of corporations, such as railroads or trusts or insur
ance companies, was a robbery of widows and orphans, for the
money of widows and orphans was invested in these concerns.
The corrupt monopolists made a great ado while they were hiding
behind the petticoats and kilts of the wicked widows and orphans
who made corporations possible.
Now, as a matter of fact, widows and orphans are, on the
whole, quite inoffensive folk, with no desire to give rebates or buy
up senators or do other things with which corporations have been
accused. But as a class they had to invest their money somewhere
and they found these corporations the best medium for investment.
But Judge Graham of our superior court has a suggestion for
widows and orphans to follow. He advises them to put their
money in municipal securities, in a specific instance, in 5 per cent
San Francisco bonds. "They represent the best possible invest
ment you could make," said Judge Graham to a woman guardian
of two children when he recommended that she draw $20,000 from
an investment which pays per cent interest and reinvest in
municipal bonds paying 5 per cent.
The probate courts of the state have supervision over the
estates of minors and incompetents and they have to approve, for
the most part, investments which are made of the funds in the
estates. There are many forms of investment which pay more
than 5 per cent interest, which is the rate of municipal bonds of
San Francisco, but there is no investment more safe, and there are
few investments at 5 per cent that may be considered as secure
as the municipal investment.
It is not the function of the court to "boost" any form of in
vestment, either public or private, but other probate judges may
take a leaf from Judge Graham's book and advise administrators
to put the funds in their charge in public bonds.
Of course, if that is done extensively the corporations will lose
the right to protest that any abridgement of their rapacious conduct
is inimical to the poor widows and orphans. But corporations
don't protest so much now when they are being investigated. They
don't waste their energy in futile tears.
The World IS Growing Better,
Reform IS Making Progress,
Don't Get Discouraged
Perhaps the Trouble Is That Too Many of Us Try to Drive
Rather Than Lead, and Crusade to Destroy Instead of
Planning to Construct
Sometimes those good people, and our good friends, the re
formers, betray their impatience that the world refuses to be as
progressive as it ought, or to progress in the particular direction
they THINK it ought.
The world IS growing better, however slowly it may seem to
those who teach and preach the way to better things.
But the world has to take time to change its bad habits. It
can not slough them off at once or altogether. It may be per
suaded many times when it can not be coerced.
A mother who sees her baby playing with a sharp knife is
unwise if she tries to snatch the knife away or slaps the infant's
hand to make it drop the steel. She is wise who offers a pretty
substitute for which the baby stretches forth its hand, dropping
the knife to do so.
Men are like babies in that they will hang on and yell if you
try to take away a bad habit without offering something in ex
Take cigarettes—universally smoked in every nation on the
globe. Some smoke them because they can not afford cigars.
Make cigars as good for 5 cents as they now are for 10, and thou
sands would drop cigarette smoking. Popularize pipe smoking
and still further reduce the ill effects of tobacco indulgence.
It may be noted in passing that where our grandfathers
chewed tobacco their grandsons chew gum. That's not perfection,
but it's some progress.
Moreover, where our grandsires got drunk on rum their
grandsons get merely groggy on beer. Also some gain. The gain
for temperance is as 5 per cent of alcoholic contents is to 50 per
They also work for the temperance of the American people
who invent and promote "soft" drinks, who develop the soda water
fountain into a bar, and make the places where temperance drinks
are sold as attractive as the saloons which sell alcoholic stim
Of two evils always choose the least. That principle which
admits of no expediency stiffly refuses to make progress in the
easiest, most practical way.
Virtue is not absolute, but comparative. What might be right
in one day or place or situation would be utterly wrong in another.
Morality is a sliding scale of good taste. When we agree that
a course of conduct is offensive then we cite it as immoral, after
which we vote it illegal.
But to bring others to our way of thinking, to make them
view an act as immoral, is one thing; TO MAKE THEM STOP
doing it is another.
Parents can not bring up children to refrain from all sports
and amusements because some are vulgar or dangerous. Their
course lies in making the clean and wholesome amusements appear
attractive and ready substitutes.
A girl can be kept from running the streets by letting her have
her friends frolic with her at home. A boy can be kept out of b»r
and pool rooms by providing him billiards and games in a room
where he can entertain his chums.
So those reformers who would paternally interdict the rest of
mankind from vicious habits and evil practices will find that men
are much like children—EASY TO LEAD, BUT HARD TO
Before you try to shut up or take away or extinguish anything
which men have established for their pleasure, be sure you are able
to provide something better to take its place.
Before destroying a structure to burn a nuisance, construct a
tenement that is new and clean.
The test of a reform as to its efficacy is whether it is CON
STRUCTIVE or just DESTRUCTIVE.
THE SAN FRANCISCO CALL AND POST
TO HELP OUT HIS THANKSGIVING GIFT
Santa Claus is a generous old soul, but he never tips a barber.
* * *
A trial juror gets $2 a day. How can a man get professional standing
on $2 a day?
* * *
Princess Eulalie has started a beauty shop in Paris. It used to be the
kings and princes who collected beauty.
* * *
The United States mint bed at the White House has been put out of
business. Now how can hospitality be coined?
* * *
The board of health recommends that people eat turkey for Christ
mas. Now let the paying teller second the motion.
* * *
Chicago women suggest that drunken men be taken home instead of
to jail. They want the inebriates properly punished quick.
* * *
An American paid $3,500 for a pair of old gates belonging to a British
insane asylum. They will form an appropriate entrance to his estate.
"Speaking; of hens," said an Ameri
can traveler, "reminds me of an old
hen my dad had on a farm In Dakota.
She would hatch out anything from a
tennis ball to a lemon. Why, one day
she sat on a piece of ice and hatched
out two quarts of hot water."
"That doesn't come up to a club
footed hen my old mother once had,"
said one of his hearers. "They had
been feeding her by mistake on saw
dust instead ot oatmeal. Well, she
laid 12 eggs and set on them, and
when they were hatched 11 of the
chicks had wooden legs and the
twelfth was a woodpecker."
A clever lawyer succeeded in win
ning his client's case and getting the
better of a rather bumptious barrister.
The latter couldn't conceal his cha
Footnotes of Humor
grin, and meeting his victorious op
ponent in the smoking room of the
hotel at which they were staying, he
remarked, in a loud and spiteful tone:
"Sir, is there any case too dirty for
you, or any criminal so much dyed In
crime that you wouldn't defend?"
"No," said the other, in a quiet tone.
"What have you been doing now?"
* » *
A witty judge declared recently that
"a patriot was a man who refused to
button his wife's blouse. A martyr,"
he went on, "is one who attempts and
falls, while a hero tries and succeeds."
"Then, what is a coward?" asked a
"Oh, a coward," replied the Judge,
"is a man who remains single so that
he won't have to try."
* * #
He, his wife and his wife's sister
An expert says that San Francisco women eat too much. But what
can one do when a California dish is set before her?
* * *
The United States government is to investigate the high cost of eggs
in Los Angeles. Don't folks know that the climate makes things grow
* * *
A man in Oakland, 60 years of age, thrashed three youths of 20.
Fine! When he's 80 he can polish off four, and when 100 years old five
youths will fall before his fists.
* * *
A painting by Rembrandt of his father has just sold for $110,000.
Echo carries down to us the words of the father at the sitting: "Pretty
good, my boy; but what are you wasting your time this way for?"
The climate of Paraguay must be conducive to longevity. Three
former presidents of the republic were found to gather at a banquet to
Colonel Roosevelt. We think we're doing well to have two.
had started to see something: of tha
world, and had got* as far as Niagara.
Directly they had engaged rooms at
the hotel they set out to see the won
drous falls. As they walked along
the two ladles became engrossed in
an excited talk on the question of
walking skirts, paying no heed what
ever to the scenery.
"Aren't we getting somewhere near
the falls, George?" said his wife at
last, taking a look around.
"We are," said George. "In fact,
they are only a few yards off, and I
think if you would stop talking for a
moment or two you would hear the
thunder of the waters quite dis
* * *
A lively Irishman was opce invited
to a large dinner party in Dublin in
hope that he would amuse and divert
his host's guests. But from the be
ginning to the end of the dinner he
preserved a solemn and serious face.
The host thought this very strange.
"Why, old fellow," he remarked, "I
don't believe the biggest fool in Ire
land could make you laugh tonight."
"Try," was the wit's cutting re
• • •
"Yes," said the cynical old sea cap
tain, "when I was shipwrecked in
South America I came across a tribe
of wild women who had no tongues."
"Good gracious!" exclaimed the lis
tener. "How could they talk?"
"They couldn't," was the reply.
"That was what made them wild."
DECEMBER 11, 1913
Man Is Solving the
Mystery of the
The Rapid Changes in
the Wind's Velocity,
as Revealed by In
the "Holes in the
Air" so Dangerous to
GARRETT P. SERVISS
SINCE man has provided him
self with wings he has
learned more astonishing
things about the air than were
dreamt of in his old phil
osophy. He has HAD to learn
them in order to make traveling
safe on his new aerial highway.
The wind was almost a complete
mystery until aeronauts began
to make close acquaintance with
its strange moods and vagaries.
The startling experiences of
aviators have stimulated the an
emometrists, i. c., the wind meas
urers, to fresh investigations
which have had surprising re
Discoveries the Paris
Have Made .
Consider, for instance, these
things which have recently been
found out by the Aerotechnic In
stitute of the University of Paris:
If two anemometers (wind
measurers) are placed side by
side about 72 feet above the
ground when a wind of from 33
to 48 feet per second is" blow
ing, the most remarkable differ
ences in the velocity of the wind
are observed. If the anemo
meters are only 10 inches apart,
both usually show nearly the
same wind velocity; but if the
distance between them is in
creased to about 32 inches, one
will sometimes show a wind
velocity of 10 feet per second
more rapid than that shown by
the other. But this difference
lasts only for an instant.
If the distance between the
anemometers is increased to 23
or 24 feet, the usual length of an
aeroplane, the differences in the
velocity of the wind shown by
them are occasionally enormous,
but of very brief duration. This
must clearly produce a racking
effect upon an aeroplane, which
may be disastrous, for one end
of it may for a second or so ex
perience a resistance double that
felt at the other end.
Velocity of Wind at
Given Point Subject
But this is by no means all.
Not only does the wind vary in
this capricious fashion at places
a few feet or a few yards apart,
but it varies with equal violence
and suddenness at the same
point, as is proved by fixing a
single anemometer at a height
of 75 or 80 feet above the
ground and observing the suc
cessive changes in its indica
tions of velocity. Thus it has
WILLIAM F. KIRK
transmigration of souls, my dear."
I Said the grocery clerk who had gone to college,
* "Is a grand belief that the Greeks made clear
In the days when the Greeks were steeped in knowledge.
It means that I loved you long ago
In another planet in other ages,
And a million years' haven't changed, I know,
The passion that now in my whole soul rage 3.
We have transmigrated throughout all the time,
Just your dear soul and the soul of me,
From planet to planet in many a clime.
And our new, grand marriage is bound to be."
Then her old man came down the massive stairs,
Saying, "I heerd your smooth tongue work,
But I reckon none of my daughters and heirs
Will transmigrate with no grocery clerk."
PUTTY: He Wiggles His Toes
Onnvrl«rhr. 1»1S. rnfffmntlonul Npw« Service
been found that a wind whose
average velocity was about 38
feet per second maintained that
velocity for as much as 10 suc
cessive seconds, and then, in a
second and a half, dropped to
less than 14 feet per second,
which it maintained during two
seconds, after which, in the
course of half a second, it
sprang up to a velocity of 50
feet per second! It maintained
the last mentioned velocity for
only a single second.
In another case the velocity
of the wind rose in three-quar
ters of a second from feet
to feet per second.
Considering these facts, it is no
wonder that aviators meet with
strange accidents by running
into what they call "holes in the
air," for the sustaining force of
the air, on account of the sud
den variations of the wind, may
almost instantaneously lose half
its value, and then, with equal
suddenness, recover, or more
than recover, its former power.
Such things enable any one to
understand the peculiar perils
that the aviator has to face.
Even ordinary mortals know
that the wind is capricious, but
to the navigator of the air it be
comes sometimes a very demon,
or a legion of demons, whose
eccentric gambolings are as un
controllable as they are unex
It took thousands of years for
seamen to learn how to face
with unflinching hearts the va
garies of the ocean waves and
currents, and for shipbuilders to
devise vessels that could defy
them, but it seems likely that
we in a few decades shall have
mastered the caprices of the at
mosphere and have produced
airships that will safely ride the
Ganos' Daring No Less
Than That of Jason
It is the advance of science
that has given us the great ad
vantage which we possess over
our predecessors in overcoming
nature's obstacles, but increase
of knowledge would not have
served us if there had been a
decrease of courage. That there
has been no such decrease is
proved every day by the daring
feats of aviators like Ganos,
who recently crossed the Mcdi- .
terranean sea in a single flight—
a bolder achievement than Ja
son's voyage in search of the
golden fleece and a manifesta
tion of personal courage not
second to that of Columbus.