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Heub Today. Jn LMtT Sen, Loety: I
haf recelfed year letter from ChlnchlnnaUl rich
informatiens me dot you stayed up all night
-Thursday playing poker ued only leat a dollar
If you bat te play poker, Looey, I am glad
dat yen stayed up all night at it. Yen you faint
mentioned der verd in your letter I ras afraid
te read furder for fear I reuld see it dot at 12
o'clock you get kink in your instep und quit
four dollars Tinner.
If you play der game play it like a sport,
Looey, und rear ofershees te keep your feets
Te me, Looey, nuddingi ras se disgusting as
der poker player dot gets der congestion of der
ankles efery time he rins two dollars efer his
Poker players ras divided into two classes,
, Looey, der Companions of der Celd Feets, und
der Leedle Brethers of der Beest.
Der Companions of der Celd Feets make der
most money; but der Leedle Brethers of der
Beest haf all der fun; und dis is a pretty tough
old Terld if te dean'd haf a leedle fun mit each
udder, ain'd it, Looey?
Fer instant, Looey, took your Uncle Oscar
Schmittberger. He is run of der Companions
of der Celd Feets.
Uncle Oscar nefer sat in a game of poker in
his life mlteud being prepared tebaf pneumonia
in both heels der moment he ras ahead of der
game sigs dollars' verth.
Uncle Oscar plays dem close te his appendi
citis, Looey, und efery time he fills a four-flush
he feels an awful draught en der fleer.
He has his feets se veil trained dot efery time
deir owner rakes in a pet mit eight blue checks
in it dey gif him der icehouse signal te cease
firing und cash in before der bank eggspledes.
Ve hat a leedle poker party at home last Mon
day night und for seferal days aftervards ve
encheyed der money left mit us by our luffing
Dare vas your mother, und Uncle Oscar und
his rife, und Ludwig Beerhabenund his rife and
Geat Schmalz und myself, yet.
Ludwig is a charter member of der Leedle
Brethers of der Beest, und he can laugh louder
J ...........a -.a... ....... 0
I Am Sure That There is Something
in This That Will Interest YOU.
A modern, up-te-date, strictly first claas 8-room brick
reaidence. One of the most delightful homes in the city.
Will require no repairs or additions for the occupancy el
the most fastidious.
A Third street brick residence of 8 rooms, splendid
cellar, and modern in all its appointments. In first class
repair, with rear entrance te geed stable.
A Third street frame residence with large let, in the
aristocratic part of the city, which can be bought at a fig
ure that will justify the purchase.
An 8-room frame dwelling located in Second street,
Fifth Ward, with all the modern improvements and geed
sized let and convenient in every particular. The one who
purchases this will have an up-te-date residence.
A geed two-story frame residence located in Ferest
avenue, in splendid neighborhood, between Commerce and
Lexington streets. Price $1,400.
L. B. Gray's two-story frame residence located in
West Second street, with a let 50 feet front extending back
te the C. and 0. Railway, at a very low figure.
A very desirable two-story brick residence in West
Second street of 8 rooms and bath, with stable in the rear
and alley entrance, at a reasonable price.
The Mary A. Styles residence, just East of the resi
dence of Mike Brown, in the Sixth Ward. This is one of
the best localities in the city. If you want a geed home
for a small price you cannot miss it en this.
A geed two-story frame residence in Cottage street at
the very low figure of $550.
Seme very desirable leta in Riverview Terrace, be
tween the residences of Themas A. Davis and J. U. Rains.
Take a leek at them; they are beautiful, and the price is
A house of 4 rooms in West Third street, which
rents for $5 per month. Yeu can buy it for $450, en easy
A geed brick residence in West Third street, in splen
did state of repair. Price $8,000.
If nothing in the above Jist suits you, I would sug
gest that you permit me te sell you a let en Ferest avenue,
or in the Maysville Real Estate Company's Sub-division,
just this aide of the residence of Mrs. H. H. Cellins. It
is all the style new te own the house which you occupy.
If you wish te work for the benefit of your family, and for
the "Hener and Glory of Greater Maysville," and be thor
oughly prepared te celebrate "Heme-Coming Week" befit
ing your standing in our city, you should net fail te buy
a home in order that you may pe ready for that event. I
will consider it n favor te tallr-'with you with reference te
any of the property mentioned abeve, or te have you make
inquiry with reference te anything which you may wish te
buy. If you have net the cash, I can arrange the payments
te your satisfaction.
und mean it Ten ha loses two dollars den any
man I efer met.
"But Ludwig! wife is der Corresponding Secre
tary in der Weman's Annex te der Companions
of .der Celd Feets.
She turns your Uncle Oscar a close second
for getting frappe in der pedals.
Efery time Ludwlg's rife is separated from
fifty cents somediog in her mind seems te gif
aray mit a crash.
Ludwig's vife luffs money se much dot efery
time she bets a blue chip she shuts her eyes und
pretends it t&s only a vite tud.
Any time you see a silver dollar mit all der
t&ilfedders pulled eud of der eagle you can bet
dt blrdvunce belonged te Ludwlg's vife un der
parting vas a bitter vun.
Yell, anyvay, Looey, I opened der f airst chack chack
pet last Uendayefenlng und eferybedy dropped
eud eggscept Ludwig's vife und your mother.
Yeu knew, Looey, I like your mother. She
Is., der only vife I efer hat und der only vun I
efer vish te haf, und se I say it from my heart
dot she plays peker like a Yelch rabbit, vich is
miteud form und full of dark surprises.
Frem der financial point of view, Looey, your
mother is der best fellow dot efer drew cards,
but mit regards te der technicalities of der game
she is vet der ancient Greeks veuld call a Pa
Yell, anyvay, Looey, te make a long story
lese Its cunning, your mother vaved a fend fare
veil after losing four dollars, vich vas all in der
family anyvay, but Ludwig's vife bit her lips und
trailed along nntil she hat sent sefen of Lud
wig's goet dollars te der Bad Lands, den she
Yen I laid down four typewriters she called
ne again, but I veuld hate te tell you hew und
Nefer before, Looey, in der history of der
game dit vnn veman get se mad in se many dif
ferent places at der same time.
Yeu see, Looey, she hat four deuces all der
tine und after der fairst bet she began te bnv
a new dress. After der second bet she hat se
lectlened der trimmings. After der third bet
she changed der material und took semeding
mere eggspensive. After der fourth bet she de
cided te pick oed imported dressmaker' en
Fifth avenue, und after der fifth bet she felt
vealthy enough te go dare in a cab.
Pretty aoen came der awful avakening und
she hat te put dot dress back in der store.
I dean't dink Ludwig's vife vill efer quite re-
cefer from der shock. She vill be a saddened
veman all her life unless a rich relative dies
semerare und leaves her sefen dollars.
Und te make matters mere like a life insur
ance inwestlgatlen abeud ten minutes later Gust
Schmalx stung your Uncle Oscar for five dollars
and seventy-five cents, vich caused your Unele
te haf an internal fit vich nearly became epi
demic all efer his system.
Und dus It happened, Looey, dot dese two
members in goet standing in der ancient order
of der Companions of der Celd Feets hat te sit
dare all der efenlng and play dem close trying
te get dare money back, vich dey dittent.
Der mills of der gods grind slew, Looey, but
vunce in a vile dey grind eud someding vertb
Play poker, if you must, Looey, but alvaya
keep your rubbers en.
Dis gees for der neck as veil aa der feet.
Yours mit luff, D. Dinkelsnel,
Per Geerge Y. Hobart.
Ur. J. U. Barrie never writes for mere than
two hours a day, and is a slew worker.
The late Henry Harland is said te have re
ceived $70,000 from one of his novels, but his
manner of working kilted him.
M. Jusserand, the French Ambassador te this
country, is a voluminous author, whose works
abundantly show the thoroughness of the writer.
With reference te a recent marriage, Londen
Truth says that se many actresses are becom
ing peeresses that the aristocracy of Great
Britain should aoen be known as the actressoc actressec
racy. Bathtubs made of glass are being manufac
tured in Germany. They are made in a solid
piece, and one can be turned out in five minutes.
The tubs are said te have advantages ever metal
and enamel, one being that they are much
Acoerding te reports from Illinois and Indiana,
some mines in these states are filling with water
as the result of the fact that the pumpmen and
engineers havd net gene te work. The opera
tors are going before President Mitchell of the
Miners' Union and demand te knew if it is by
his authority that the pumpmen and engineers
are eat of the mines in question, when all are
Union mines in these two states and the Unions
agreed te keep the pumpmen at work.
Take IleIUiter's Recky Meuutaln Tea this
month. Drivel away spring tiredness, gives ap
petite and sleep, makes you well and keeps you
well. Great family tonic 35 cents, Tea or Tab
lets. J. Jas. Weed A Sen.
When Senater Scott of West Virginia gave
notice recently that he would read a twenty-Gva-mlnute
speech and said Senators might safely
retire te the cloakrooms, he was left with an
audience of just seven.
There Is mers Catarrh In this section et the
country than all ether diseases put together, and
until the last few years was supposed te be Incur
able. Fer a great many years doctors pronounced
It a local disease and prescribed local remedies,
and by constantly failing te eure with local treat
ment, pronounced It Incurable. Science has
proven catarrh te be a constitutional disease and
Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney &
Ce., Teledo, O., Is the only constitutional cure en
the market. It Is taken Internally In doses from
10 drops te a teaspoentul. It acts directly en the
bleed and muoeus surfaces et the system. They
offer one hundred dollars for any case it falls te
cure. Send for circulars and testimonials. Ad
dress, F. J. CHENEY A CO., Teledo, O.
Sold by Druggists, 75.
Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation.
Ne. 39 W. SECOND
NOTICE te HORSEMEN !
The famous Premium Saddle and Harness Stal
lion, purchased a year age at a handsome price by
Gorden Asbury, is located this season
AT DAVLTON 3f.lt.' STABLE IN MINIAY,
THEUAY, WEINEIIAV IF EAIH WEEK.
The remaining time be will be at Fernleaf, Ky. I
will also bava a Una Registered Peroberen Draft
Bullion, Prinea Ne.WM, and Jack, Jehn Bauty,
at my barn, Fernleaf, Ky. Fer farther informa
tion refer te cards or address me.
aprt m-w-fSw K, P. D. Ne. 1, Dever, Ky.
CALLING HIM DOWN QUIETLY
Uproarious Supplication "Salacious
ly" Squelched by Paraen
"While I Isn't namln' no names and
don't aim te be puasenal In muh speclQ
catiens," said geed old Parson Bngster,
during a recent sermon, according te
Puck. "I la bodaeiouBly Impelled te re
quest a certain worthy brudder te jra
after please be a loetlo me' economical
vfld his vociferation. It am all right te
ueah aloft te a reasonable night in pra'i
and praise, but when a man sings be vel
canically dat he drowns de choir plumb
out and causes de constable te cemi
uh-swaggerln' round after he thinks d
free fight am all ever, and prays be loud
and numerous dat de puhsldln' eldei
'nominates It a 'sturbance radder dan a
supplication, it am she'ly 'preprlate fei
dat anoymeus brudder te take a tuck In
his vecallty. De frivolous deems It fun
ny, de devout am shocked and de sick
and conflicted In de neighborhood am
'sturbed of deir rest; and It 'pears te me
dat dat zealous, but elaborate brudder
am elected te turn off his breath 'stld e'
blewin' It out."
"YasBah! Yassah!" doggedly replied
brother Shlnpaw, the culprit, rising In
his place In the midst of the congrega
tion. "But I wants ye' te un'erstand,
sah, dat I's a free and unlimited moral
agent, and has de right te worship de
Lawd accerdln' te de Indications of muh
own conselence, sah!"
"Ye" she'ly Is, muh brudder," replied
the clergyman, "and ye also most sa sa
lacleusly has! Whuh we differ In de
matter am en de extent of de longitude
te be puhmltted In de strechln' of you'
conscience. And f begs te elucidate dat
It ain't needer praise nor worship te
r'ar back and holler at de Lawd like he
was a balky hess! De hat will new cir
cumambulate th'oe de congregation.
EACH VILLAGE A VENICE.
Strange Belle of Ancient Customs
Prevailing in a German
One of the meat interesting regions
In the "old fatherland" is the se-called
"Spreewald," the Forset of the Spree,
situated net far from the German cap
ital, in the province of Brandenburg,
says the Technical World. Each vil
lage is a little Venice, every house a
little island, and these islets are con
nected by bridges sufficiently raised te
allow beats te pass under them.
Most of the houses, with their barns
and Btables, rest en piles, and there is
generally a strip of artificial terra
flrmii either In front or at the rear of
every building. By means of these
land strips and of the bridges the slen
der land communication Is kept
throughout the district, but most of
the business and amusement Is carried
en through the canals, which net only
form the main highways but penetrate
and cress and recress the whole re
It is en these .agoens that all traffic
is conducted In beats during the pe
riod from spring, when the last ves
tiges et frost and ice are disappear
ing, until the end of autumn. Yeu see
the letter carrier sheet up and down
the canals, performing his duties in
his frail crate; the police glide leisure
ly along the banks, watching every
thing going en; peasants bring the
products of their tell te the nearest
towns; children go te and from
school; young mothers, dressed In
their Sunday clothes, are rowed te
church, carrying in their arms a small,
Queer-looking bundle from which two
large eyes in a tiny face stare at the
stranger in wonderment baby Is go
ing te be baptized, an important mo
ment with this strongly religious peo
ple. Ancient Fish Story.
Here Is an eighteenth century fish
etery. It is told in a letter written
by a traveler in Russia te a woman
In England. A vessel laden with the
latest fashions from Paris was run
down in the channel of St Peters
burg. "The next day," the writer
Bays, "a salmon was caught in the
Neva, dressed in a white satin pet
ticoat; and in the same net were
found two large cod, with muslin
handkerchiefs round their necks.
The sharks and porpoises were ob
served in gowns of the latest taste,
end hardly was there a fish that did
net display soma of the freshest
Palslan fashions that ever visited the
Queen's Modest Treasures.
Of her many treasures Queen Al
exandra values most a modest milk
Jug of earthenware, which she keeps
In the boudoir attached te her dairy
at S&ndrlngham. It was given te
her by a peer dying girl, whose lat
ter days had been seethed by the
tender nursing and sympathy of
Princess Alexandra. When the
queen entertains any very exalted
guest at afternoon tea In her Swiss
chalet, it is from this humble, but
priceless. Jug that she pours tne
Only One Obstacle.
Mrs. Hewllgus Absalom, they say
there Is going te be another coal
strike. What is te hinder us from
putting in our next winter's supply?
Mr. Hewllgus Why or nothing,
Amanda, except that I havent paid
for the coal wo're using new. Chi'
Sir Jean Sinclair, a Scottish baronet,
kas presented gramophones and rec
ords te 300 asylums and ether Institu
tions, en condition that, they are
flayed te the inmates for half an hour
.j;;;jffff?ff ?? - . i
fel Yeu Are Invited! if
. n ulna i
Te call et Ne. 45 West 8ecentl street and'
inspect our stock of :::::::::::: . .
Harness, Saddles, Bridles, Whips,
We carry a full and complete line of every
thing usually found in a first class house.
Hand-rnade goods and repairing a specialty.
See Our Buggies Before Making
All et the latest designs and high class work
manship. We will please you both in qual
ity and price. :.:::::::::::::::
VOGEL, BAUER & KLIPP,
45 West Second Street.
!ft: i;:ii:ii:iiiiittiiiiit..,iiii:iii.:t:.iti : !"
? JJJii .
W .! SSSS:
NATURE'S PACKING PLANT.
Salten Sea in Southern California
Freezes, Salt Gathers and
There Xt Is.
Washington. The recent extreme
cold weather in the southwestern parr,
of the United States has produced one
extremely curious result: The Salten
sea, which is produced by the over
flow of the Colerado river into a de
pression in southern California, has
been frozen ever te a great depth. The
Southern Pacific railroad, which has
been greatly embarrassed by the flood fleod floed
ing of its tracks occasioned by the ris
ing of the water, has moved its tracks
te the Ice, and Is new running ever
The water of the lake being salt,
it has, in freezing, deposited upon the
surface, quantities of salt, which, by
the action of the desert winds, has col
lected in windrows upon the Ice. This
has given rise te a new Industry, or
rather te the revival of an old Indus
try. Thousands of cattle have been
driven te this neighborhood from the
great ranges te the north and south,
and the business of slaughtering and
meat packing Is being carried en upon
an enormous scale, the salt and ice
for the purpose being right at hand.
Hew long this will last Is of course
In the meantime the geed people of
Imperial en the sea are greatly enjoy
ing their skating, a pastime which
they have net enjoyed since the found
ing of the town until this date.
Frederick Saugreln, the eldest native-born
person in the Louisiana pur
chase, celebrated the ene hundredth
anniversary of his birth a few days
age at his home in Sedalia, Me. Mr.
Saugrain is the son of Dr. Anten Fran
cols Saugraln, the friend of Benjamin
Franklin and the "pioneer scientist of
the Mississippi valley." The centenari
an wan born at the Saugrain home in
St. Leuis 100 years age.
Ice from Ment Blanc Glacier.
A company has been formed te cut
Inte the Ment Blanc glacier in Switzer
land at a height of 4,000 feet The Ice
la mined with dynamite and the blocks
are out into cubes and sent Inte the
valley by a narrow gauge railway.
There they are cleaned and then sent
by train te southern France.
It is the opinion of the Londen
Dally News that with "All-ef-a-sud.
den Peggy" we may be entering upon
a new era of nomenclature, and
that critics may shortly expect in
vitations te "More-or-less William,"
"Day-nftor-te-morrow Delly," "Deltb
erately-and-et malice aforethought
Julia," and be forth.
We would respectfully call the
attention of the public te the fact
that we have added a complete
Te the stocks of Steves and Tin
ware, in which we have been
dealers for many years. We so
licit an opportunity te show you
and quote prices.
McClanahan & Shea,
Ne. 41 West Second
THE WASHINGTON THEATER
Thursday, April 26
The lilt Everywhere!
GORDON & BENNETT-
l'resunt their own cempauy
tit an artlitle and Rorgeetm
prrxluclleu or the beautiful
romantic musical drama
By Clnivnoe Dennett, author
ei "Tiieneiyuuy." superbly
MRKeu. ueamiiuiiy gowned.
1'rlrf s nlwaj s the same.
75c, 50c, 35c, 2
man qradr iMHfl
STEAM AND HOT WATER Uld
Ne. IB KAST SECOND 8TKEKT.
IS? A full stock of all sizes of Rawer Pine, anil
handlers of the Lynu Filter. All work guarani
ieeu te give aaiisiaciien.
The man who will turn down a publica
tion simply because lie considers Its rates
tee high Is likely te get stuek- with a one
eyed animal at "a very low price" In bis
first horse trade. Infant Inauttrltl.
The same with Boek and
Jeb Printing. The right
kind, free from typograph
ical errors, and done by
skilled workmen, at Led
ger Printery. $? dp?0nmlted.
Street. Maysville, Ky.