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EASTER GAUDS AT PHISTER?S.
EVENING it- -, BULLETIN. ?TO
,' HEW TO THE LINE, LET THE CHIPS FALL WHERE THEY MAY."
. , 4
m s m r w y t a- v
VA YSYIIiEE, FRIDAY EVENING, MARCH 17, 1382. NUMBER 99;
OISTE nsriairr ONLY.
TUESDAY. MAR. 21
!Mict from their own theatre. Brooklyn. N. Y. They will have the honor of Dresentinn their
'Swn original Comedy, entitled '
HjH flB H H H IHHfei pHI PHiL B I
JRHHa B IBB K m B 'BW
Introducing the famous "DONKEY JERRY."
The FUNNIEST COMEDY Ever Written.
BRYANT anl HOEV,
KITTY 0'WEJri. .
.JOHIV E. HENSHAW and MY TfiNBRO'EC;
The Great Character Comedians,
,Charle I McCarthy and Miinroe I Georgre
i. 1 1 "' ' , Mis 'Jennie Satterlee, ' , " '" fl
Munumi:niOi I undo uni
teiccoND St Opposite Myall & Hiley'h,
Freestone Pavements and all kinds of Building
Stone on hand. Having had an experience
of thirty-two years in the business, I offer my
Y6rVic8 to the public, confident of lendering
.GRANITE AND MARBLE.
ug25 ly. MAYSVILLB.
LOU. C. LIIsr&JkKJD.
"Popular Prices Reserved Seats 75 cents General Admissson 50c.
TICKETS for sale at Harry Taylor's News Stand.
Persons living in the country and adj dining towns, can have their
seats reserved by telegraphing or by writing to H. Taylor,
Fire. Life and Marine.
SAMUEL J. DAUGBERTY,
M ANUFACTUKKH OF
Bargains! . Bargains! !
Fashionable ready-made clothing, in the lat
est styles and fabrics at
Unpfecedehted LOW Prices.
New stock Just received direct from the manufacturers
consequently there will be no extra
commissions to be paid,.
We will not be under undersold, Our prices
are the lowest and our goods of tho very best
qualliy . Give us a call and save money.
Buits made to order on reasonable terms,
V1CUOY & LEE,
ecoiid BM adjoining Bulbor, Petry & Co.
J&A1&E A W03R10K,
Contractors and Builders.
STIMAE8 promptly and cheWuily fur-
'i nlnhnd fnr nil work in nnr linn. Hlmn nn
Third street near Wall, Mnysvllle, Ky. fiOm
The cottage was a thatched one, the outside' bid
ret cverj'thini; within that cot was wondrous
neat and cldan;
The night was dark and stormyr the Wind was
A patient mother watched beside the deathbed
of her child.
A little worn-out creature his once- bright
eyes grown dim ;
It was a collier's wife and child, they called
him "Little Jim."
And, oh! to see the briny tears, fast hurrying
down her cheek,
As she oFered up a prayer in thought; she
was afraid to speak,
Lest she might waken one she loved fn'r better
tnnn her llfo;
For she had all a mother's heart, bad that poor
With hands uplifted, see, she kneels beside tho
And prays that He will spare her boy, and
take herself Inst ead.f
bhe got her answer from the boy,ysoft fell
those words from him"
" Mother, the angels do so smile, and beckon
little Jim ;
I have no pain, dear mother, now, but, oh ! I
am so dry",
Just moisten poor Jim's 11ns again, and mother,
don't you cry."
With gentle, trembling haste, she held a teacup
to his lips;
tie smiled to thank her, as he took three Ony
" Tell father when he comes from work, I bid
good night to him,
And mother, now I'll go to sleep." Alas, poor
She saw that ho was dying, that the child she
loVed so dear
Had uttered the last words she might ever hope r
The cottage door Is opeued, the collar's stop
is heard, r
The ather and the mother meet, yet rieitber
npeuk'rt word. .
.He lelt, that ail was over, he knew hlschildwvas
dead. i ,
He took the candle in'his htth'd, and walked
toward tho bed,
His quivering ip gave token of the grief he'd
Aud, see, his wife has Joined him, the stricken
'.., , , cod pie kneel; , ; ,3"
"With hearts bowed down by sadness, they
humbly aak of Him, ,
In Heaven once more to meet their own dear
GIVE Tlte BARBER HIS DUE.
An'Instauce'WIieii thcIan d'f the Chair
The barber is a satirized and maligned
artist. He j$ jet forth as being a skillful
business man and a humorist. If he were
Half as shrewd as he is said to be, he would
certainly have sense enough to go into
Wall street and become the possessor of a
lew railroads. And if he were the merry
jester that he is elaimed to be would get
into a circus or ministrel troupe and secure
wealth and recognition by the introduction
ut a fresh joke, which would not
only redound to his credit, but be a step
toward the annihilation of those which
are so old that they are obliged to hobble
on crutches and hold themselves together
In truth, the barber uses only the most
commonplace, every day language. To
prove this it is only necessary to quote a
conversation I overheard the other morning
between one of these so-called fiends
and a customer, the barber opening :
" Fine day!"
" Guess the rain's over ?"
" We'll have snow before long, I think?"
" Correct. In some parts of the world
they have snow oven at this time, in other
parts they never have snow, while there
are regions where snow lies on the ground
all the year ronnd. You are right in your
prediction, however, and you would be
safe in betting on it without consulting the
"Are you in the Weather Bureau ?"
" No ; I sell pork."
"t)oes tho razor hurt?"
"Not at all. I can't feel it any more
than you can can feel a candidate's pecuniary
pulse the inorning after election
"The election Excitement is over is it?"
'It is it ha8 been ovor about two
' Is it too cold for you with the door
"Not at all. , ia,s
" We are going to have a mild winter."
"It looks that way, and I trust we may
be able to scramble through on our bamboo
canes and summer underclothes." , ,-,
"Close shave?" , '
" Yes, as close as you can ; I want this
shave to last until pay-day." ,
" Crops are good here."
"They may be; but it is not proper for,
a man who cuts hair to sneak of crops.'
That was originally intended for a joke in
London, where it was built, aid had 'a
long prosperous run, and underwent various
changes to meet various contingencies
It is now now respected simply on account
of his gret age, and is kept alive on wVrtri
bricks, stimulants and medicated underclothes."
Pause. , '
-' "A sad suicide last night ?"
"Didn't hear of it, but it must' Have
been. Suicides are generally sad. Don't
known as I ever heard of a real delightful
suicide that embraced all the
of a sail over a tranquil lake ht
twilight, accompanied by a girl with soft,
black eyes rind a tender little rosebud
Pause. . .
" Ydur hair is getting thin on top."
" That's the correct place for it' to get
thin. Suppose a man's hair should- fall
out all around and remain intact on the
top ! Then he Nvould have be luftejd like
a cocKuiouanu nu wouiu ucupsu u uuuuiri'i
dhow every time, he lifted his hat to a lady.
And he might wax such a tuft and work
it up tq a point like a goatee, and thus
"afford his friends lots of innocent amusement,
or he might grow it long'ei4, an'd 'let
it hang around his head in a frWge,
a pigtaiUl. u V. ' ., T
, Pause. , - , '
"Yes." ' - 4
"Fifteen cents." , ..!.'
"Here." 7-.,. -, :t
' Thank vou. Good mcTrmnjr." .:-.
" Good morning." x
And the patron who had done tlvice&si
mtich talking as the barber walked 6ut. t
A "Strange If True" Story Aborit Santa
Judge Major, of Kentucky, recently related
the following story of Santa Annfl,
the Mexican Dictator: "Did you ever
hear," he said, " that he was a
?" I confessed that I never had. "Well
that is believed by many old people about
Frankfort; I have heard it from boyhood.
It is said that Santa Anna, afterward President
of the Mexican Republic, was au illegitimate
son of one Nat Sanders, of this
county. While a youth he went to New
Orleans on a flatboat, and was never afterwards
heard from. When captured at San
Jacinto, In 183G, he was brought through
this place on his way to Washington, and
was recognized by the Sanders, who recognized
him as their illegitimate and long-lost
relative. He did not deny it. He
spoke English like a Kentuckian and with
a Kentucky accent. One of the Sanders
had determined to kill him, on account of
the death of of a relative in the masacre
of the Alamo, but abandoned his purpose
when he was convinced that they were
blood relatives. The mother of Evan E.
Settle, of Owenton, was a Sanders, and he
bears a marked resemblance to the pictures
of Santa Anna. Larkin F. Sanders,
Representative from Carroll- county to the
present General assembly, belongs to the
family, as also did the noted George"N.
Sanders, who figured so prominently in
politics during the administrations of
Pierce and Buchanan."
A Boy's Composition on Girls.
Girls are the only folks that have their
own way evory time. Girls is of several
thousand kinds, and sometimes one girl
can. be like several thousand girls if she
wants anything. This is all I. know about
girls, and father says the leee I know
about them the better off I am.