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A JLS r
T?BTIMArEilunJsheaMand ail orkA?ar7
ajsrunw?oj: Dinop;QuuwiHn wireet peiweeiii
P. S. MYERS,
Groceries, Hats and Caps
Boots and Shoes, Queensware and Hardware.
Highest cash price paid foi Grain and Country
Produce. Jylod AIt. OLIVET
T. J. CURIEY,
Plumber, Gas and Steam Fitter
dealer in Hath Tubs, Hydrant Pumps, Iron
and Laqd Pipe, Globe, Anuleanri Check Valves,
Rubber Hose and Sewer Pipe. All work warranted
and done when premised, Kecoud street,
opposite White & Ort's. , ap3
G. W. GEISEL,
No. 0, W. SecomlSf., fpp. OperulIouHO,
Fruits and Vegetables iu season Your patronage
respectfully solicited. j I Idly
JOHN W HEELER
Headquarters for all Jzjntlsof Confectionery
Fruits. Canned Go.ods, etc. .
Fresh Stock and Low Prices.
Come and see me if you want to save money.
F. L. TRAYSER,
Front St., 4 doors west of Hill House
' ' '
Grand, Upright and Square Pianos, alto.f he
best make of Organs at lowest manuiacturers'
prices; Tuning and Repairing. nl.7
THE LATEST SENSATION.
4000 Yards Lah, choice styles'ahd fast colors
at 5 cents per yard. SCO yards India Linen
at 10 cents per yard. 240. pairs regular made
men's half hose at 10 cents per phlr. Other
goods proportionately low.
'BURGESS & N'OLIN;
July (1, 1882. . , r - n
DKALEIt IN '
- ' STAPLE AND FANCY
j - -
C Xv OCE a I S 5-
Teas, Tobacco, Cigars, Queenware, Wooden-ware,
GlassAvare, Notions, &c. Highest price
paid for Country Produce, Goods delivered to
any part oi the city.
Cor. Fourth and Plum Streets,
5 &Jl Manufacturer anjMnvefatorTof
I mxr S S E s ,
MatleDoubJe orSinjil for men or
, . . WILLIAMCAUDLE, J
- 5 1 IS fhnro 'I' V. Pall A finn
x l' f
"NOT A LINE IN THE PAPER THAT
The editor snt in liis chair alone
A busier person there never was known
When in came a farmer, a Jolly old soul,
Whose name for long years had been borne on
Of paying subscribers. He had come into town
To bring his good wife and some farm produce
And having a moment or two he could spare
Had run in as usual, to bring in a share
Ot his own lnwaui sunshine, to Pghten the
Ot the man of the press and his dull cheerless
The editor's smile, as he lifted hi j eyes
And saw who was there, wasol joytul surprise:
And he greeted his irieud with u deal ol glad
For a good chat with him was like taking a
& i; i$ as o ;t i
When at length the old farmer got ready to
He said, with a sly little laugh in his sleeve,
"My dear friend, theie is one thing I Just want
Now, please don't get vexed, lor you know
its my way
But what makes you put in each paper you
So much that is worthless do you take the
Well petty misfortunes and little misdeeds
And lots ot small matters that nobody reads."
The editor looked at him square in the lace,
At first with a frown, then a smile took its
"My dear irieud," he replied, I'm surprised you
Every line in the paper is read but it's so ;
And now, if you wish, I will make my words
And prove what I say, as every mau should.
I'll put in the verv next paper a line
Or two about you in coarse print or fine,
Whichever you choose, and just where you
And if you don't find on the very next day
That your neighbors all read it, I premise to
Free subscriptions to you, just as long as you
"Agreed," said the farmer, "you shall sing a
Put it right in the middle of one of those long
Fine-type advertisements I never yet knew
Any person of sense to read, one oi those
If 1 hear from it twice, I will bring down to you
The best load of garden sauce I ever grew."
Then the 'ood days" were passed, and the
And the editor laughed to himself without
As he thought of wager and how it would end,
And the nice little Joke he would have on his
Then he wrote just two lines, and he ordered
In the smallest type thinking, "I'll win that
And he placed them himself, to be sure and
In the midst of a close agate real estate sale.
For, to better succeed in his little designs,
He'd selected a place where to put tuese two
And have them connected with what followed
A sentence complete in itself, without break.
These were the lines that he wrote: "Our o,d
friend, good James True,
Who is one of the best men the world ever
Of the well known Hope Farm" that was all
that he said
About James, but the line next below these two
'Will be sold very cheap" then went on to
The beauties and bounds of the estate to be sold.
The paper was printed. The next day but one,
The tanner came in. with his eyes full of fun ;
"You have won," he began, "jut as sure as
you're born ;
Why, before I'd got breakfast ate yesterday
Two or three of my neighbors called, purpose
What that meant in the paper they saw about
(I hadn't teen it yet.) Then, during the day,
Every neighbor that met me had something to
About my being sold. I was sold very cheap,
And you did it well, too; it was too good to
So I've told the whole story, and come with all
To bring you the garden sauce as I agreed."
The editor looked from his window and saw
His friend had brought in all his hotses could
for him ; he declined to accept it, but found
That his friend would not listen, and was oir
Saying, cheerily, as he went out "In your next
Just say Jim TrteTs preaching, and this is the
There Is naught In the paper fruit, flowers, or
JJot a line In the paper that nobody reads."
Prof. A. Bi Bredow, a poor music teacher,
who died at Greensboro, N. 0., a few
days ago, was a member of the Berlin
Academy of Art and Science and a -Knight
of the Iron Cross.
HEW TO THE LINE, LET THE CHIPS EALL WHERE THEY MAY."
I . :M 3T
VOLUME 1. MAYSVILLE, THURSDAY EVENING, JULY 27, 1882. NUMBER 211.
KEY WINDING WATCHES
J.BALLENGFRnt Albert's China Stove ad.
Joining Peaice, Wallinm'oirl & Uo.'s Bank.
J. C. PECOR & CO.,
A fresh supply just received.
NO OHilD St 33 33 lO,
All this year's inrcbase. Call and getia
Every tyleand pattern, as cheap as the cheapest.
Give a call and examine our stock.
ap21Iy J.C. PECOR & CO.
Kendall's Spavin Cure.
The Jlovf Successful Remedy ver discovered,
as it is cei tain it its etlects ana does
not blister. READ PROOF BELOW.
From Rev P.N. GRANGER.
Presiding Elder of the St. Albans District.
feT. Albans, Vtm Jan., 20, lfcSO.
Dk. B. J. Kendall & Co., Gents: In reply to
your letter I will say that my expei Jence with
'Kendall's Spavin Cure9 lias been very satisfactory
indeed. Three or tour years ago I procured
a bottle ol youi agent, and witli It, cured
a horse ol lameness caused by a spavin. Last
season my horse became very lame and I
turned him out for a few weeks when lie became
better, but when I put him on the road
he grew worse, when t discovered That a
was forming, I procured a bottle ot Ken-dell's
Spavin Cure and with less than a bottle
cured him so that he is not lame, neither can
the bunch be found. Respectfully yours.
Perseverance Will Tell.
Stkoughton, Mass., March 10, 18S0.
B.J. Kendall fc Co.. Gents: In justice to
you and myself, I thiuklouuhr to let you
know that I have removed two bone spavins
with Kendall's Spavin Cure,' one very large
one, don't know how long the spavin had
been there. I have owned the horse eight
months. Jt took me f'oui months to take the
large one oifaud two for the small one. I have
usecj ten bottles: Xhe horse Is entirely well,
not stiff, and.no bunch to be seen or 'felt.
?hls is a wonderful rtiedicinei It is a new thing
lere, but it it doegrfor all what it has done for
me its Will be -very great.
Respectfully yours, Chas. E. Pahkek.
Kenimll'sSpavin Cukk is sure in its effects,
mild in its action as it does not blister, yet it is
penetratingand powerful to reach a every deep
seated pain or to remove any bony growth or
othec enlargement, such as spavins, splints,
curbeallougjsprtUimv swellings; any lameness'
aifdall enlargements!)! the joints or limbs, or
rheumatism in manarid tor anypurpose for
which a liniment is used lor man or beast. It
is now known to be the best liniment for man
ever used, acting mild, and yet certain i its
Send address for illustrated Circular which
we think gives positive proof of its virtues. No
remedy has ever met with such unqualified
success to our knowledge, lor beast as well as
man. r , . - -
Price SI. perbottlefprsjx bottles for 35. All
Dkuggists huYP'itfc orJcaneet if for you bf it
by-the proprietors.!)!. B. J.J&ENDALL&.
iiQJiJJnosbuigU KallS, yermont.
i.iiiww i i.lyfc1 ill. n i ..i. ,..ni I i .-. Ai M.MI..H
t,XJi!Tir. 5T iBfe.
Architect, Contractor mimh
account of my continued ill health, 1
ON concluded, as soon as practicable, to
retire from the dry goods trade, 1 now oiler my
entire stock lor sale to any merchant wishing
to engage in the business, and will rrom the
1st day of July sell my goods FOR CASH, until
disponed of, which will enable me to offer to
the retail trade some special bargains.
All persons knowinu themselves indebted to
me will please call and settle at once, as lam
anxious to square my books. Respectfully,
C X?L jflL C K1X2
For ale by all grocer.
A Human Calliope.
Prople who have had occasion to pass
the Tribune office corner recently in the
evening have doubtless been mystified
and puzzled by what sounded like the low,
soft notes of a'calliope. These sounds are
heard every evening about this corner,
am many curious people have spent valuable
time in vain endeavors to find out
the source of this mysterious noise. Some
have attributed it to the steam whistle,
while others have thought it was the
wind whistling through the telegraph
wires, and but few have found a satisfactory
explanation of the noise. For a time
it sorely puzzled the reporters of the Tribune,
who would, rush to the windows of
the local room every time the sounds
were heard, and out into the night only
to see the Blue Island avenue car rattling
over the stony street.
One evening a curious reporter started
out with a firm resolution to ferret out the
mystery. At the corner he caught the
scent and followed it closely until he came
to a neighboring beer palace. Descending
to the lower stratum, he came uj on a colored
indidual, who appeared to be the
center of an admiring crowd of
As the newspaper man entered he
was picking a glass of the amber fluid
from between his massive lips. Depositing
it on a table, he vigorously grabbed his
right ear, gave it a twist, and from his
mouth came the musical sounds of a calliope.
The mystery was solved !
This colored man is a
customer, very black, who is known a i
over the country as "Steamboat Bill," and
is a whole show in himself. He will le
remembered by some as being connected
with Haverly's colored minislrels, doing
imitations. Tiring of working on a salaiy
with a troupe he stared off on his own
hook, and now travels around from city to
city giving his specialties in saloons and
passing around the hat. Before he performs
this ceremony he announces that he
intends leaving town the next diiy and
needs the money to gefaway with. This
statement acts as sort of magnet to small
change, and he leaves the crowd with
well-filled pockets, only to turn up next
evening with the same old racket.
His specialties are numerous, varied and
entertaining. His imitation of the steam
calliope is singularly coirect, and his imitation
of a steamboat is so good that it
gave him the name he is known by. He
also gives good imitations of a banjo, with
song; of a buzz saw, and a planing mill;
of a sanguinary tight between two dogs ; of
a bass viol, and of a locomotive. He can
put a lighted stub of candle on his head
and blow it out with one breadth, and can
shut his capacious mouth on a lighted cigar
stub, and bring it out aijain burning
fiercely. One very good thing he does is
to fill a glass half full of beer, set another
glass in it, drink the beer in the lower
glass, and put both glasses on the bar with
his hands in his pockets. He take the upper
glass out by clasping it tightly under
his chin, takes the glass of beer between
his teeth, leans back and drinks slowly,
and walks to the bar and deposits tlie
glass on it. His capacity for beer is unlimited.
His latest gag" is to stand in
front of an auction store, attract a crowd
with his imitations, and entice them inside.
Once in the autioneer springs a lot
of cheap jewelry on them before they can
escape. Steamboat William will probably
remain in the citv as long as the shekels
are forth coming.
Miss Greyson, who had for many years
been bedridden with spinal disease, at
Erie, Pa., believed that she could be cured
bv prayer. She talked with the attending
physician about it, and he said he would
arrahge for a meeting of devout persons,
at the house of a neighbor, when her recovery
should be earnestly implored. At
the appointed time she sprang from the
couch and declared herself miracupusly
recovered. But the perfidious doctor had
called no meeting, and no praying' had