Newspaper Page Text
' . ' "Darn It."
m
They had a terrible time at a wedding
tip at Petaluma, and which only goes
,to show how the smallest draVback will
sometimes take the stiffening out of the
swellest occasion.
It seems that the ceremony waB a very
grand affair, indeed. There were eight
-bridesmaids, and the church was crowded
from pit to dome, as the dramatic
critics would say- But, when they got
to the proper place in the ceremony,
and the groom began feeling around for
the ring, he discovered that it wasn't on
hand. After the minister had scowled
at the miserable wretch for a while the
latter detected that the magio circlet
had slipped through a hole in his pocket
and worked down into his boot. He
.communicated the terrible fact in a
whisper to the bride, who turned deadly
pale, and was only kept from fainting
by the reflection that they would inevitably
cut the strings of her satin corsage
in case she did. "--
" "Why don't you produce the ring ? "
whispered the bride's big brother,
hoarsely, and feeling for his pistol, under
the impression that the miserable
.man-was about to bock out
"I can't. It's in my boot," explained
the groom under his breath, his very
hair, meanwhile, turning red with mortification.
" Try and fish it out somehow hurry
up," mumbled the minister behind his
book.
"I'll try," gasped the victim, who was
rather stout ; and he put one foot on the
chancel rail, pulled up his troufiers leg
and began making spasmodic jabs for
the ring with his forefinger. The minister
motioned to the organist to squeeze
in a few notes to fill up the time, while
a rumor rapidly went through the con-
fregation to the effect that a telegram
ad just arrived proving that the groom
had four wives living in the East
already.
"I I can't reach it," groaned the
half-married man in agony. "It won't
come."
"Sit down and take your boot off,
you fool 1" hissed the bride's mother,
while the bride herself moaned piteously
and wrung her powdered hands.
, There was nothing left, so the sufferer
sat down on the floor and began to
"wrestle with his boot, which
hew and tight, while a fresh rumor got
under way to the effect that the groom
was beastly tight and insisted on paring
his corns.
As the boot came finally off its crushed
wearer endeavored, unsuccessfully, to
hide a trade-dollar hole iu the heel of his
stocking ; noticing which, the parson,
who was a humorous sort of a
said, grimly :
"You seem to be getting married just
in time, my young friend.' And the
ceremony proceeded with the party of
the first part standing on one leg, trying
to hide his well-ventilated foot under
the tail of his coat, and appropriately
muttering, "Darn it I" at short intervals.
Derrick JDodd, in San Francisco
Post
Leaf from the Czar's Diary.
Got up at 7 a. m. and ordered mv
"bath. Found four gallons vitriol in it
and did not take it Went to breakfast.
- The Nihilists had placed two torpedoes
oh te stairs but I did not step, on
them. The coffee smelled so strongly
of Prussia acid that I was afraid to drink
it. Found a scorpion in my left slipper,
but luckily shook it out before putting
it on. Just before stepping into the
carriage to go for my morning drive it
was blown into the air, killing the
coachmen and horses instantly. I did
ndfc drive. Took a light lunch of
hermetically-sealed American canned
goods. They can't fool me there. Founcl
raVpbisoned dagger in mf avQrjte xsbftir,
With the point? slicking out., Didvrio
sit down pn it Had dinneiat 6p. in.,
. and. made Baron Laischonnowonsia taste
every dish. He died before the aoiip
wa carried away. . (Dorisumdd some Baltimore
oysters and some Loudon- Ktout
th't J, havelhadlooKed lipor fiveyears
.' IVsn.t. & '$a, ,'tbrtfo AndrW, shotat
' three 'tunaevin -the. first jut' H&d.iKe
bauanaalepj ail xught on the roof o
1 tKS . 'laee; Francisco News-.
Jtf tfar, r
i x.
3)EALKR IN
STAPLE AND FANCY .
G HSR O O 22 URI ! S9
Teas, Tobacco, Cigars, Queensware, Wooden-ware,
Glassware, Notions, &c. Highest price
paid for Couutry Produce. Goods delivered to
any part of tue city.
Cor. Fourth and Plum Streets,
npl21yd
MAYSVJfLLE. KY.
Buggies ! Buggies ! !
"VVo have for gale the celebrated
T. T. HAYDON BUGGIES,
from SC5 upwards. T. K. BALL & SON.
J3d&wtf
I AM DAILY RECEIVING
JNEW DESIGNS IN
China and Glassware,
which I will sell very low. Clocks repaired.
mySdly G. A. M cCARTHEY .
NOTICE.
are now receiving the most assortment
WE of BUGGIES. FHiETONS nnd
CARRIAGES ever biought to the city of
TUYALL& RILEY.
au2dly no. 7:Second, and 18 Sutton Sts.
7 KENDALL'S M
SRAV1N 6jgsH
Kendall's Spavin Cure.
The 3fo6t Successful Remedy ver discovered,
as it is certain it its eflects ana
blister. READ PROOF BELOW.
From Rev P.N. GRANGER.
Presiding Elder of the St. Albans District.
feT. Albans, Vt., Jan., 20, lfcSO.
Dr. B. J. Kendall & Co., Gents : In reply to
your letter I will say tbat my expeiience with
rKendalls Spavin Cure' has been very satisfactory
indeed. Three or four years ago I pro-cm
ed a bottle oi your agent, and with it, cured
ti horse oi lameness caused by a spavin. Last
season my horse became very lame and J
turned him out for a lew weeks when Jie became
better, but when 1 put 'him on the road
he grew worse, when I discovered That a
was forming, I procured a bottle of Ken-dell's
Spavin Cure and with less than a battle
cured him so that he Is not lame, neither can
the bunch be found. Respectfully yours.
P.N. GRANGER.
Perseverance Will Tell.
STK0UGHT0N,MASS.,MaJCh 10, I860.
B.J.Kendall & Co., Gents: In justice to
you and myself, I think I ought to let you
know that I have removed two bone spavins
with 'Kendall's Spavin Cure,' one very Urge
one, don't know how Jong the spavin had
been there. I have owned the horse eight
months. It took me foui months to take the
large One ofl and two for the small one, I have
used ten bottles. The horse is entirely well,
not at all stiff, and no bunch to be seen or felt.
This Is a wonderful medicine. It is a new thing
here, but if it does for all what it has done fpr
me its will be very great.
Respectfully yours, Chas. E. Parkek.
KENDALL'sBPAviNCunEissuroln its effects.
, mild in Its uctipn as it does not blister, yet it js
puueiruuugunu powenui vo reucii a every aeep
seated puin or to remove any bony growth or
other enlargement, such as spavins, wpllnts,
curbs, callous, sprains, swellings, any lameness
and all enlargemepts of the Joints or limbs, or
rheumatism Hn man and for any purpose for
which a liniment Is used for mab or beast. It
is now known to be the best liniment for man
ever used, acting mild and yet certain In Its
effects. "
Send address for illustrated .Circular which
wo think gives positive proof of its virtues. No
remedy has ever met with such unqualified
success to ourknowledge, for bstust as well as
man., i ... . ,
. Prioe 1. per pottle, or six bottle for $6. All
Ukuggimto hay.e 1fr or 4n getiltforyou or it
will D'jjent.fcany address of price
by the proprietors. DR.B. J.. KRNDALL &
CO, Enosburgh Palls, Vermont." J27d.
N fy i
r
LINN,
Four Doors Below the' Postojfice
HAS OPENED HIS
ICE CEEAM PARLORS- -
"Jco Cream for -ale by the cnllou or half gal
lon. Wedding Parties furnished on short no
tice.
parties promptly attended to.
my20
QTJEENSWARE,
GLASSWARE, TliUUIE. CUTLERY M.
S. SIMON,
45 Market St., East side, between 2nd and 3rd.
mSdOih J
WINDHORST & BLUM,
FASHIONABLE MERCHANT TAILORS,
IARGE stock of Imported and Domestic
j Piece goods and Trimmings on hand. All
orders executed promptly and satisfactorily.
XKETCooper's Building, second story, at head
of stairs. au2dly
J. C. Kackley & Co.
Dealers m
Dry Goods, Groceries, Boois, Shoes,
Hats Caps and Clothing.
Goods always what they are reccommended
to be. Main Street, Germantown, Ky.
F. H. THAXEL,
Baker and Confectioner
ICE CREAM A SPECIALTY.
The only manufactuier of PURE STICK
CANDY in the city. Orders lor weddings and
myodly
SYRUP BROMIDE CHLORAL
THE GREAT NERVINE
It is ilie remedy in painful Inflammatory
RncuiuatlHin, or any other excessively
painful disease ai by quieting the nerves it produces
immediate relief.
It relieves Acthnia. Palpitation or Uie
Heart, ShortneM ofltrcatb. and Hysteric
immediately not like most remedies, requiring several
hours to experience their beneficial effects.
Sure euro for DRUNKGNNEKS. The-
. fttrors. jhe Appetite for STRONG DRIKK.
JtirCS.UJKLlItllJJX THUHIGHN.
It is recommended by the Deal physicians all over the
country. Price, SO cent ner bottle. Prepared by
IV. II. ADDERLEY, Apothecary,
-on. Baostdess An Lqcost fcTKKKTS CINCINNATI, 0
Alt your Druggist for it, or sand for Circular.
auggd&wamo
LANE & BOBLEx w.
AWARDED
GOLD MEDAL
BY THE
ATLANTA COTTON EXPOSITION,
ON THEIR
Steam Engine and Saw
-AND-
Mill
Exhibited at Atlanta in 1881.
Manufacturers of Steam Engines, Boilers,
Saw Mills, Gang Edgor. jLath Machines, Hub
and Spoko Machinery, Shafting, Hangers., Pulleys,
Couplings, Gearing, Grist and Flour Mills
Bead for Special Circular of our No. 1 Plantation
Saw Mill, which we soil for
$200.
Special attention given to Plantation Machinery.
Illustrated Circulars Free.
LANE & BODLE1T CO.,
John-d; Water Sts., Cincinnati, O.
THOS. BRANCH & CO.,
COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
RIOHM OND, VA.
QOLTC1T consignment of QRAIN. Make I
l. j 'jiimrHi anvunnfw svnn mil iiminip in nann.
prgmpt retnms.given, charges reasonable. El
evxturs wiin capacity or wj,wu
on line of Chesapeake nnd Ohio
'
Jel53niU
i fcM
CITY AND COUNTY MEECTOKVf -
Courts Circuit Conrt. ""'
Judge A. E. Cole.
Commonwealth's AttorneyT.A. Ourrnii, "
Clerk B. D. Parry. J.
C. Pickett.
-Deputies: $j$
Jailer jlu. uauit.
Tuesday, after second Monday iu January
April, July and October in each year.
ronnty court.
Judge-G. S. Wall.
County Attorney J. L. Whltaker.
Clerk W. W. Ball.
Second Monday c: each month.
ttnarte ly Coiirt.
.
Tuesday after second Monday In Mareh.June'
September and December In each year.
MnistrntoH Ooiirtnt.
Maysvllle, No. 1. W. H. Pollock and J. L
Grant, rlrstaud third TuesdayBln March, Juno
September and December,
Maysvllle, No. 2. Win. Pepper and W. L
Holton, first Saturday and fourth Tuesday
same months.
Dover, No. 3 A. A. Gibbon and A. F. Dobyns
first and third Wednesday, same month.
Minerva, No. 4-0. N. Weaver and J.H.Wat'
son, first and third-Tuesdays same months
Germantown, No. 5 S.F.Pollock and James
Fegan, first and third Saturdays, same months.
Sardls, No. 0-J. M. Ball and J. W. Tllton
secoud and fourth Saturdays, same months.
Mayslick, No. 7 C. W. Williams and J. D
Raymond, second and fourth Fridays, same
months.
Lewlshurg, No. 8 J. M. Alexander aud
Abner Hord, second and fourth Thursdays,
same months.
Oiangebur?, No. 0 W. D. Coryell and W.J.
Tully, first Saturday and last Monday, same
months.
Washington, No. 10 John Ryan and James
Smithers, fourth Tuesday and third Wednesday,
same mouths.
Mnrphysvllle, No. 11 Lewis Jefferson and
E. L. Gault, fourth Monday and third Thurs-day,
same months.
Fern Leaf, No. 12-S. E. Mastin and J. B
Burgess, second and fourth Saturdays, snmt
months.
Constables.
Maysvllle, No. 1 J. P.Wallace.
Maysvllle, No. 2 W. L. Moran.
Dover, No, 3-W. B. McMillan. ,
M inerva, N o. 4 James Runy on .
Germantown, No. 5 Isaac Woodward.
Kardls, No. G J . A. Collins.
Mayslick, No. 7 Tliomas Murphy
Lewlshurg, No. 8 S. M. Strode.
Orangeburg, No. 9- Thomas Hlse.
Washington, No. 10 James Gault.
Murphysville, No. 11 W. R. Prather
Fern Leaf, No-12 B. W. Wood.
Society Meetings M oNOiiic.
Confidence Lodge, No. 52, first Monday ol
each month.
Mason Lodge, No. 342, third Monday of each
month.
Maysvllle, Chapter, No. 9, second Monday of
each month,
Maysvllle Commaudery, No. 10, fourth Monday
of each mouth.
I. . O. P.
Plbgah Encampment, No. 9, second and
fourth Mondays in each months at 7 o'clock. '
DeKalb Lodge, No. 12, Tuesday night, each
week, at 7 o'clock.
Ringgold. No. 27, Wednefcdny night, each
week, at 7 o'clock.
K.of P.
Limestone Lodge, No. 36, Friday night ol
each week.
I. O. W. M.
Wednesday night each week, at their hall oh
second street.
A
Sodality It. V.M.
Second nnd fourth Sundays In each month
at their hall on Limestone street.
Father Mathew T. A. S.
First Sunday in ea.ch,raonlh, at their hall on
Limestone street.
St. Patrick'H Beuevolcnt Society
Second Sunday in each month, at their
on Limestone street.
Cigar Makers' Union.
First Tuesday night In each month,
I. O. G, T. , vj '
Monday night ol each week.
K. C. R. R.. ariives at 9:;i0.a. jn. and 8:15 p. ni
Departs at 5:45 a. m. and 12 in.
Bonanza, down Monday, Wednesday arid
Fridays at, 6 p. m. TJp Tuesday, Thursday and
Saturday ate p. m.
CITY GOVERNMENT.
The Board ol Council meets the first Thursday
evening in each month.
MayorHorace January.
Council.
President L. Ed. Pearce.
First Ward-Fred. Bendel, E. 1 Nute, L. Ed ,
t'earce.
Second "V ,trd Dr. G. W. Martin, Thomas J
Chenoweth, M. C. Hutchins.
Tiiird Ward Matt. Pearce, Richard Dawson'
David Hechmger.
Fourth Wnid Dr. J. P. Phister, B.
John W. Alexander.
Fifth Ward Wm. B. Mathews- James.Hall
Edwnrd Myall.
Treasurer and Collector E. 3. Pearce. ' J L
W. Fitzgerald.
rw..Mu J James Skinner. .
Wood and Coal Inspector Peter Parker.
Mnrketmaster M. T. Cockerlll.
,
Keeper of Alms House Mrs. S. Mills,
" ' ' " " ' '-ML .'
t
Walnut Sltf u
Lewis Vandn, Proprietor.
