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HUJiORS OF THE DAY.
"Do xou play poker, Mrs.
"I do; I play it on Mr.
SohenkwaleB' head sometimes."
" Never send a present hoping for one
in return." r Never.- Get your present
first, always, and send yours -when you
"Is the General on the retired list?"
they asked of his "wife the other evening.
"Retired! no, indeed 1" she replied;
"he's down to the club playing poker,"
Jones (accompanied by his dog Snap)
meets Brjwn. who accosts him with,
" Good morning, Jones ; how's your dog
Snap?" Jones" Pretty well, Ttliank
you ; how are you ?"
Imagine the indignation of an American
boy in a French school, who in a
history class is told how Lafayette, the
great French General, triumphed in the
Revolution, assisted by Washington.
"Just taste that tea," said old Hyson
to his better half, at the supper table,
the other evening. " Well, there doesn't
seem to be anything the matter with it.
I can't taste anything." "Neither can T,
and that's what I'm growling at."
Ftest Swell "I never did like
'May ;' not nearly so pretty as 'Mary ;'
wonder they don't change the name of
the month to ' Mary.'" Second Swell
"Olevaw ideaw, by Jove; make
good to June, you know !"
Modesty: "Do you pretend to have
as good a judgmeut as I have ?" exclaimed
aii enraged wife to her husband.
"Well, no," he replied slowly, "our
choice of partners for life shows that my
judgment "is not to be compared with
A Fbench officer said to a Swiss
: "How is it that your countrymen
always fight for money, while we French
always fight for honor?" The Swiss
shrugged his shoulders and replied : "I
suppose it 18 because people are apt to
fight for that which they need most."
"I understand that Brown is in
trouble," said Smithson. " Yes," replied
Fogg. " Brown Was at the auction shop
the other day. They had a silver pitcher,
and Brown offered to take it offered to
take it for nothing, ycu know. Well,
the Sheriff took him up. That's all. "
It is quite a proper idea for a young
" lady to paint a bunch of pansies on a
fresh-laid egg and foward it by special
messenger to her best gentleman friend.
This signifies : "Pa is hatching another
scheme against you. Come 'over the
garden wall' this' evening." The interest
now begins. New Haven Jiegister.
Uncle Ned lost a dollar the other day,
and when he went home he called up his
eldest sou. "Comeheah, boy, and set
down. Dis am a queer woiT, anyway,
boy ; jis' w'en yo' think yo am layin' on
feathers on' walkin' on roses slap ! an'
dar yo' is, fiat in de mud, playin' a tattoo
wld yo' heels on nex' to nuffin." Oil
Terrible fate of a kind-hearted girl
According to a truthful Indian newspaper,
a hungry lion invaded a young
ladies' seminary on commencement day,
and, bouncing in among them, carried
off the prettiest and plumpest, with her
composition in her pocket a school-girl
essay on kindness to animals.
"How profoundly still and beautiful
is the night," she whispered, resting her
finely-veined temple against his coat-collar
and fixing her dreamy eyes on the
far-off Pleiades, "how soothing, how
restful." "Yes," he replied, toying
with the golden aureola of her hair,
"and. what a night to shoot cats."
" Look yar, Clem, don' yo' be growlin'
'bout de scacenes9 on dem yar trousers !
Dey's got as much Var in 'em yit as
dem shanks o yo'u, eben ef yo' fader
did tram 'roun' in 'em ano'n forty year.
He didn't hab no sioh a'rs I He'd be
prancin' 'roun' in 'emfit, and ba proud
'nuff ob'de chance, ef dar wuz any
for gearmints whar he's gone." .
Italian Bees For Sale.
JLBS. WITH TF.STEI lCJSEy S3 00
I Vlilt COLONY ..... i . $4 00
SHIPPED AT YANCEEURG.
M. L. WJLLIAMS. Vnnoebunr, Ky.
WM. 0. PELHAM, Muybville. Ky.
STAPLE AND FANCY
CI IH.O wiiZiESS9
Teas, Tobacco, Cigars, Queenswnre, Wooden-ware,
Glassware, Notions, Ac. Highest price
paid lor Countiy Pioduce. Goods dellveied to
any part oi the city.
Cor. Fourth and Plum Streets,
P. S. MITERS,
Groceries, Hats and Gaps
Boots and Shoes Queenswnre and Hardware.
Highest cash price paid loi Grain and Country
Produce. jylod Mt. OLIVET.
TXrEare now receiving the
W soitnieut of BUGGIES, PHiETONK and
CARRIAGES ever brought to t he city
ville.", '.MYALL & RILEY.
aui'dly no. 7;Second, and b Sutton Sts.
Kendall's Spavin Cure.
Tlie Most Successful Itciuctfy fver
as it is ceitaln it its eflects nun does
not blister. READ PROOF BELOW.
From Rev P.N. GRANGER.
Presiding Elder oi the St. Albans Districl.
J?T. Albans, Vt., Jan., 20, lfcfc'O.
Dr.. B. J. Kendall te Co., Gents: In iqply to
j our letter I will say that my expeiience with
Kendall's Spavin (. uie' litis been veiy
indeed. Three or lour yeais ago 1 procured
a bottle ol youi agent, and with it, cured
a horse ol lameness caused by u spavin. Last
season my horse became very lame and I
turned him out lor a few weeks when he became
better, but when 1 put him on the load
he grew worse, when discovered that a
was foiming, I proem ed a bottle ol Ken-dell's
Spavin Cure and with less than a bottle
cured him so that he is not lame, neither can
the bunch be found. Respectfully yours.
P. N. GRANGER.
Perseverance Will Tell.
Stiiotjgiiton, M ass., March 10, I860.
B. J. K em) all te to., Gents: In justice to
yqu und .myself, I think I ought to let you
know that r have removed two bone spavins
with Kendall's Spavin Cure,' one very large
one, don't know how long the spavin had
been there. I have owned the horse eight
months. It took me lour months to take the
largo one oil and two for the small one. 1 have
used ten bottles. The horse is entirely well,
not at all still, and no bunch to be seen or felt.
This is a wonderful medicine. It Is a new thine
here, but if it does for all what It has done for
me its will be very great.
Respectlully youis, Chas. E.Parkek.
KendaWsSpavin Cuke Is sure In Its eflects,
mild in its action as it does not blister, yet it is
penetrating and powerlul to reach a every deep
seated pain or to remove any bony growth or
other enlargement, such as spavins, splints,
curbs, callous, sprains, swellings, any lameness
and all enlargements ol the joints or limbs, or
rheumatism in man and tor any purpose for
which a liui)nent Is used for man or beast. It
is now known to be the best liniment for man
ever used, acting mild and yet certain In ItK
Send address for illustrated Circular which
we think gtves positive proof of its virtues. No
remedy has ever met with such unqualified
success to pur knowledge, for beast as well as
per bottle, or six bottles forf5. All
Dkuckhbts have it or can get lttfor'youTr"b
will on receipto'f
hv thn TiTOTirifitQPH. niLH.v J. XMNDAT,I .'A'
CO. Enosburglf Falls, Vermont. J27d.
Four Dcors Below the Postoffice
HAS OPENED HIS
ICE CREAM PARLORS-
Joe '"ream fovple by the gallon or half gallon.
Wedding Parties furnished on short notice.
Will oiler at Public Sale on Wednesday,
I September i:t. 1882. at my farm near
Snmmitt I Ptntion, K. 0. R. K., 8 good horses,
Farming Utensils Coin In the Field, Hay in
the Stack. Hoas, Household and Kitchen Furniture
and other property. I will also, at the
time and place rem the farm to an acceptable
tenant. Tenns made known on the day of
sale, about 10 o'clock u. m.
(au3Ud&w2w) CHAS. D. LOYD.
SYRUP BROMIDE CHLORAL
THE GREAT NERVINE
It is tfro remedy In painful inflammatory
ItheumntiMtn, or any other excessively
ainful ilisenae a3 by quieting the nerves It
It relieves ARlIimn. Palpitation or the
Heart, .ShortueK of Breath, nml Hysterica
immediately not like moit remedies, requiring several
hours to experience their beneficial effects.
Sure cure for DRUXKENNENS. I)c
KtvoyttUv Appetite for CTRONO IItI5i'K.
Cures IEFIKIUJI Tltr.TOENft.
It is rcotnmen ioil bv the best ptiyncians nil over the
fu itry. Price, .10 centH r.pr bottle. Prepared by
W. Eff. AIIr.BtE.UY, Apotliocnivr,
ok. SAoaDEBS avd Locust .srui'Kw, CINCINNATI, O
'biz your DrugLT4st for it, or seal for Circular.
MME & BOBLl
ATLANTA COTTON EXPOSITION,
Steam Engine and Saw Mi
Exhibited at Atlanta in 1881.
Manufacturers of Stoam Engines, Boilers,
Saw Mills, GangEdgers. Lath Machines, Hub
and Spoke Machinery, Shafting, Hangers, Pulleys,
Couplings, Gearing, Grist and Flour Milla
Send for Special Circular ofour Ho, I i'luntuthm
Saw Mill, iTliich wo soil for
Special attention given to Plantation Machinery.
Illustrated Clrctitim Free.
XaASrai & BODLEY CO.,
John & Water Sfs Cinctunaii, O.
J. C. Kackley & Co.
Dry Goods, Groceries, Boots, Shoes,
Hats Caps and Clothing.
Goods ulwavs wlmt they nre recoonnnended
to be. Main Stieet, Gennnntown, Ky.
Baker and Confectioner
iceki;asi a spk;iai.ty.
The only ninnulacturer of PURE STICK
CANDY In the city. Orders tor weddings and
parties promptly attended to. mySdly
GUSSWAHE, TINWARE, CUTLERY &G.
4n Market St., East side, between 2nd and 3rd.
TH0S. BRANCH & CO.,
OOLIC1T consninments of GRAIN. Make
O liberal advances' witu bill ladlsr In band,
prorapt'retorn giyenf chargee rjjasnableOEl
evatora llh capacity of 40Q.OQQ totwhels, impae'
di'atly tri line? 'of CheraeakeFahd
CITY AXll COUNTY I)IKECTOfli'f
Judge A. E. Cole.
Commonwealth's Attorney T. A. Curran.
Clerk B. D. Parry. ,-
Sheriff-J. C. Pickett.
DnnPerrlne. -" rr -
Deputies. j. n.Kice.
Jailer Ed. Gault. .
Tuesday alter second Monday In January
April, July and October in each year. ., .
Judge-G. S. Wall.
County Attorney J. L. Whitaker.
Clerk-W. W. Ball.
Second Monday c: each month.
Tuesday alter peconu Monday in Marcli,Juue"
September and December In each year.
Maysville, No. l.-W. H. Pollock and J. L
Grant, rlrst and third Tuesdays In March, Juno
September nnd December.
Maysville, No. 2. Wm. Pepper and "W. Ij
Holtou, first Saturday and tourth Tuesday
Dover, No. 8 A. A. Gibbon and A. F.Dobyns
first and third Wednesday, same month.
Minerva, No. 4-0. N. "Weaver and J. H. Watson,
first and third Tuesdays, same months.
Germantown.No.o S. F. Pollock and James
Fegan, first and thiul Saturdays, same mouths.
fcartlis, No. 6-J. M. Ball and J. W. Tilton
second nnd fourth Saturdays, same months.
Mayslick, No. 7-C. W. Williams and J. D
Raymond, second and fourth Fridays, same
Lewisbnrg, No. 8 J. M. Alexander and
Abner Hord, second and fourth Thursdays,
Oiangebunj, No. 9 W. D. Coryell and W.J.
Tully, first Saturday and last Monday, same
Washington, No. 10 John Ryan and James
Smithers, fourth Tuesday and third Wednesday,
Murphysvllle, No. 11 Lewis Jefferson and
E. L. Gault, tourth Monday aud thlid Thins,
day, same months. .
Fern Leaf. No. 12-S. E. Mast in and J.
second aud fourth Saturdays, same
Maysville, No. 1-J. P. Wallace.
Maysville, No. 2 W. L. Moran.
Dover, No. 3-W. B. McMillan. .
Minerva, No. 4 James Runyon. ,:$
Germantown, No. 5 Isaac Woodwaid.
Sardls, No. fi .1 . A. Collins.
Mayslick, No. 7 Thomas Murphy
Lewisbnrg, No. 8 S. M. Strode.
Orangeburg, No. 9- Thomas Hise. ,
Washington, No. 10 James Gault.
Murphysvllle. No. 11 W. R. Prather
Fern Leaf, No. 12-B. W. Wood.
Society Slectiujjs 3Iosonie.
Confidence Lotlge, No. 52, first Monday ol
Mason Lodge, No. 342, third Monday of each
Maysville, Chapter, No. 9, second Monday oi
Maysville Commandery, No. 10, fomth Mo
day oi each mouth.
I. . . p.
Encampment, No. 9, second and
fourth Mondays in each months at 7 o'clock.
DeKalb Lodge. No. 12, Tuesday night, each"
week, at-7 o'clo'ck.
Rluggold. No. 27, Wednesday night, each
week, at 7 o'clock.
K. of J.
Limestone Lodge, No. 36, Friday night oi
each week. , 1
I. O. W. M.
Wednesday night each -week, at their hall on
Sodality 1$. V.MT.
Second and fourth Sundays in each month
at their hall on Limestone street.
Father arn their T. A. S.
First Sunday in each month, at their hall on
St. Patricks "Benevolent Society
Second Sunday in each month, at their
on Limestone street. I
Ciar Makers' Union,
Fhst Tuesday night In each mouth.
I. O. G,T.
Monday night ol each week.
K. C. R. R.. arrives at 9:30 a. m. and 8:15 p. m
Departs at 5:J5 a. m. and 12 m.
Bonanza, down "Monday, Wednesday and
Fridays at 6 p. m. Up Tuesday, Thursday and
Saturday at b p. in.
The Board of Council meets the first Thursday
evening in each month.
Mayor Horace January.
President L. Ed. Pearce.
First Ward-Fred. Bendel, E. D Nute, L. Ed"J
Second W trd Dr. G. W. Martin, Thomas J
Chenowetb, M. C. Hutchlns.
Third Ward Matt. Pearce, Richard Dawson'
Fourth J. P. Phister, B.
John W. Alexander.
Fifth Ward Wm. B. Mathews James Hall
Treasurer and Collector E. E. Pearce.-
Clerk Harry Taylor.
Marshal E. W. Fitzgerald.
Ttonnfipq S James Skinner.
Wharfmaster Robert Ficklin .
Wood abd Coal Inspector Peter Parker.
Marketmnster M. T. Cockerill.
City J. T. Strode.
Keeper of Alms House Mrs, S Mills.
Ult'tl'. ' IU JIU-VJ VJ.'JiV'i" """ " ' " " ' """ ' '
Lkwis Vanden, Proprietor.