Newspaper Page Text
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BITS OF BY-PLAY
There is a somebody on the Louis
ville Daily Time who contributes
something like a column to its paired
under a special caption. The signboard
at the head of the column
reads "All Around the Town.
This signboard is decorated around
the odgos with an eight point linotype
border which produces a ort of park
flowor bed effeot.
We started to .ay this .somebody
was a bright young man, but upon
reflection we decided it might be a
bright young lady. He that as it
may, the column brightens up the
pages of the Times. lu the issue of
July 2nd there a story of a
certain woman who bought mourning
from a well known Fourth Avenue
merchant. She explained that
her daughter was about to die. A
week later she brought the mourning
good.- back and informed the clerk
that her daughter did not die.
This reminds us oi something that
occurred in Crittenden county several
years ago and we tell it here lor
the truth. Wo will name the man
Jones John Jones. IIo lived a
few mil os from Marion in the country.
Mrs. John Jones became very
ill and was expected to die. She
lingered for months and finally after
being in this condition about one
year she did die. In a week or so
after the funeral Mr. Jonos married
again and in a few days thereafter
he sat at meat in Marion. The good
woman of the house foil called upon
to direct the flow oi conversation and
having heard of Mr? Jonos' recent
marriage she innocently asked,
"Mr. Jonos, how long has your
first wife been doadV"
This was like a bolt of lightning
out of a clear sky and Mr. Jonos
halted and stammered,
"About ahem that is to say
well, sick and dead together about
Jim Woodall has actually gone to
work. Climbing into a barber chair
the other day Jim said,
"I'm broke and I'll be dad bobbed
if that ain't the truth. Besides I
can't get any help. My children
have all gone. II there is anything
done on my farm I've got to do it.
Why do you know, I have to plowlr"
And Jim looked at the barber like
he expected a denial of the statement.
"Ye, by grabs, I want to sell out
and if you sec anvonc who wants a
good farm cheap tell them to call on
By this time the barber had Jim
covered so with lather that there was
no sound escaped. A little bubble
on the surface indicated that Jim
still lived and breathed, and the
barber kept on shaving.
Modern dental work has gone from
an insignificant business to one of
gigantic proportions. Forty years
ago the tools needed by the dentist
were very few. Physicians all over
the country pulled teeth and that
was about the sum total of dental
4? 43 NOTICE
43 To the taxpayers
43 who owe taxes for the
j Your taxes are due, and it will save ft
43 trouble for all concerned if vou will nav f.
T5 them at once.
Don't have a falling out with
your hair. It might leave you I
Then what? That would mean
thin, scraggly, uneven, rough
hair. Keep your hair at home I
Fasten it tightly to your scalp!
You can easily do it with Ayer's
Hair Vigor. It is something
more than a simple hair dressing.
It is a hair medicine,
hair tonic, a hair food.
The beat kind of a testlmonUJ
"Sold lor ovr ixty yer."
MA bjr 3, C. Ay.r Co.. IOW.U, Mi.
Ato minniMmnri oi
A 7 SaSAPARJLU.
yers CSER8Y PECTORAL.
operation-. Since then there has
been a wonderful change. Modern
dental work is now practised all over
Ube Young passed through Marion
and drovo on towards Tolu. In his
buggy was a dental engine and other
tools He passed Crittenden Springs
and some distance the other side
stopped at a houe. A large woman
appeared at tho door. Mr. Young
"Do you need any dontal work
The woman placed hor right hand
behind her oar and said,
'What did you say?"
"Do you neod any dontal work
done?1' yolled Obay as ho mopped
his brow with his handkorehiof.
Tho woman placed hor hands on
her hips and with arm- akimbo
"all, no, I reckon not, there
was a man hero last weok that fixed
"Love laughs at locksmiths' and
romanoos arc found in shinglos.
Forty years ago a Mr. Fortune wrote
a note on a shingle addressed to his
prospective father-in-law. The latter
wrote his consent on the shingle
and sent it back but Mr. Fortune
never received it. A few days ago
the shinglo was found and forwarded
to Fortune in the far West. With it
went a letter from tho girl in the
case and she intimated that she was
still lonesome. It resulted in a
wedding. Neither had ovrr married.
The woll known drug firm of
Haynes & Taylor received a lettur
not long since addressod to
"Hans A: Taler."
A lady living close to Marion sat
in the midst of a circle of frionds.
The accomplishments of the daughters
of various ones wa under
Tho discussion waxed
warm. One of those present remained
silent as long as -he could
but finally broke forth with
"My Sarah plays the graphifoam
beautiful. She learnt it by correspondence.
of Crittenden county Z
present year. fo
deputies will be at
July 23, ft ft
July 24, ft
House, July 25. ft
July 26. ft ft
August 2. ft
4 I, or one of my
Jj Dycusburg, Tuesday
jj Levias, Wednesday
4? Rutherford School
j Shady Grove, Friday
Tolu, Tuesday July
4? fords Ferry, Friday
4 uue consiuuranon or ine aDOVC will la,
4 be appreciated by
J. F. FLANARY,
Ja Sheriff Crittenden County, jj
The Louisville Trust Company, if
Louisville, Ky., is a banting insti
tution that holds all kinds of property,
both personal and realty, m
trust for private individuals and
corporations. It has under its control
a great many houses to ront and
for a consideration attends to the
renting, repairs, insuranuo,
Sue Garner, a colored woman of
Marion moved to Louisville and i-living
in ono of tho housos which is
under the control of tho Louisville
Not long ago she was complaininK
of the excossivo ront she paid.
Rents in Louisville and Marion ditfer
very much because of the difference
in the price of property. Sue, however,
cxplainod tho difference by
saying that tho property belonged to
a trust and the trusts made high
would yet ruin tho country.
A few weoks ago whou the Ohio
was level with the bank.s some of our
farmers wore very long faces. Hilly
Harnett was in Marion almost
ing on In.- chin, and whon asked
whethor or not he would soil 1000
hoes this year, replied-
"It depends on tho rivor."
Jim Canada say if anybody ctm
get closer to a corn row than he they
will liavo to plow it up.
A fow days ago a man in Now
York was looking for work. He
suspended about his nook by a oord
a placard about two foot square Wir
00000 0 00 0 0 0 0
o I Want Work
o No Graf tor. o
o No Apologios. o
o o oo oo oooot
Wo roproduoo this hore for the
banofit of any one in this oouoty
out of work. The plan is oortainly
novol and it provod to be spoody.
The Now York man did not havo to
look long for a job.
There abodo at ono time in Crit-tendon
county a thrifty farmor. Ho
had long hoard oi the thrift of his
friend not far distant, lieing of a
studious nature hodosired knowledge.
He foared that his friend knew of
some mothods of saving unknown to
him so he sont word he would visit
him some evening for the purpose of
getting a few lessons in oconomy.
He arrived at early candle light
and was ushered in tho room. The
only light was a single candle burning
brightly. After the usual ox-change
of howdys and neighborhood
small talk the host arose and blow
out the candle. Mr. Thrifty asked
him why he did that and was informed
it was moroly a lesson in oconomy.
Presently the host heard a shuttling
of foot and strangely familiar sounds.
He hastily lighted the candle and
found Mr. Thrifty calmly with
his pants folded uicoly across the
back of a chair.
"What on oarth?" unclaimed
the host, "Do you want to go to
"Oh, no,' replied Mr. Thrifty,
"this is mcroly an exohaogo of
economy lesson--. Whilo wo sit and
talk I thought I would remove my
pant- and thereby wearing them
out that much."
Take The Postmaster's Word For it
Mr. F. M. Hamilton, poatmaater at
Cherryvale, Ind., keeps also a stock of
general merchandise and patent medicines.
He says: "Chamberlain'd Colic,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy is
standard here in its line. It never
fails to give satisfation and we could
hardly alford to be without it." For
sale by J. H. Orme, the leading drug
gist in Western Kentucky. Haynes &
Taylor, the enterprising druggists, of
The boss was bending over a table,
looking at the directory. Tho now
offieo boy clipped up quietly and
poked a note into his" hand. The sur
prised boss opened it and read
"Honored Sir. Yer pants is
ripped "St. Louis 1'ost Dispatch.
Piles get quick and certain relief
from Dr. Shoon's Magic Ointment.
j Please note it is made alone for Piles,
and Its action is possitive and certain.
Itching, painful, protruding or blind
piles disappear like magic by its use.
Large nickel. capped fflass jars 50 cents
' Sold by Hayne3 &. Taylor.
THREE GRAND CHILDREN
Born In Single Night Not Triplets Either,
But Each Child of Separate Son.
"I have served four year- .u tin
Civil war, thirty-seven years in differ .
cnt capacities at the r i
Depot iu Jotfersonville, two years as
City Clork, two years nt tin st i
Louis Quartermaster'- Depot, but 1 I
nover had such a I hint' happen -v I
fore as happened to me last inula j
said Capt. .latue K. Hyan Time
graudchildreu wore brought to im t I
tho stork at three dittercnt hotm
my throe John G. Hynn, Th.is
F. Hyan and William I). It; an. U- !
iug tho fathers, 1 can't get rid ..f
idea that thoy knew when I get my
annual vaoutiun, ami they planned I
surprise party for me. It look that
way, anyhow," ho doolared.
Capt. Hyan was fooling
oxeitod after six hours of
He had gone to Ins hoim on
Ohio avenue, between li and lit
o'clock night and
into tho first dole, when an
alarm was soundod on the door II.
wont to investigate, and a un--- ng. r i
told him there was trouble ,t He
homo of his son, John G. II van. I
hasty trip was niado, and the tr.u
bio" was found to be nothing mm
serious than a healthy fin. .,. '
Grandpa - equauiuiity had hardii
been restored, whon he was call- d .., t
the home 'Kliomus F. Hyan. wh.re
the mo- said trouble w a- l.p w
ing. it was only a jcirl, and
pa hod about reached the point wh. r
the aid of a physician needed f i
him, when a telephone menage tr .n,
Louisville luuiouuoed that a ttitir
somo boy had just been handed m at
the house of William D. Hyan. And
that wa tho finish for grandpa that
night. Yesterday he tix telling
how it felt to ivad -tied a I
strenuous life, and how he wa i
iii; iv m.n UTIll Willi HI SODS'. lie
has thirty day-' loaro, aud will return
to St. Loni. Julj :il .
A Happy family.
J. J. Mann, of Fordyce, Ark., wntae:
Use CarLstedt's Gorman Livor Powor
for ten years, cured my wife of female
troubles. Haven't had a docUir for
six years, formerly paid two or three
doctor bills a year. Would not be with-out
it. Worth its weight in goKI'
Guaranteed under the Pure Food nnd
Drugs Act. Price 25c. Sold by nil
(BY Tom Mamon.)
Haoholors can ho found roaming
at large in ail parts oi the world.
Thoy inhabit apartment-, clubs,
open field.-, bodies of water and
halls-. They are also seen behind
They hovor at times neat
front gates, and hare baon found in
baok parlors with the aid of a searchlight.
Bachelors are nomadie be nature
and variablo in thoir tastes, novor
going with one girl long enough to
be danorous. Thoy flourish in large
cities aud aro generally at dinner
partios to (ill iu with.
Kvery baoho! ir was once a baby-
being the single instance of where
history does not ropoat itself.
Bachelors are divided into two
classes eolfish and uiiolflsh
who aro unborn boing tho
The Doctor Away From Home
When Most Needed.
People uru often very much disappointed
to find their furnily physician is
away from home when they most need
his services. Diseases like crarnp
colic and cholera morbus require
prompt treatment, and have in many
instances proved fatal before medicine
could be procured or a physician summoned.
The right way is to keep at
hand a bottle of Chamberlain's Colic,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Kemedy. No
physician can prescribe a better medi
cine for these diseases. By having it
in the house you escape much pain and
suffering and all risk. Buy it now; it
may save life. For sale by J. H.
Ormc, the leading druggist in Wes
tern Kentucky. Haynes & Taylor, the
enterprising druggists, of Marion.
DeWitfs Little Early Risers. Small,
sure, safe pills. Sold by J. H. Ormc.
4 Ooen Every Night.
8 to 10:30 o'clock.
Moving Pictures, Illustrated Songs.
Special Attention Given Ladies and Children.
m Aurvnsbiuni iu cnis. m
LOCKYEAR'S BUSINESS COLLEGE
: Evmvuic, indi -
A6CHOOL WITH A REPUTATION
JA 1 fir
mm i i.j i. r
(X. W fm '
M'! : ' , 'Ti&'Plr7 ' M i ;'H i
Jp"' . ' : , ' ' V? ' i . H
the old, ' kH rur enen ay to the
umplcf, clrncriul r -.. tr .. uMi.. jr ii.c" lkJ, the lcll in which
cvefy point it on ! Irr.h 'f i. l t t'li, ri. in )wh ilmt can't col
ft n.f rrmin Met. I II 'i --i. 1 ' tt n tlcanlu.CM )ou can't K
iloflfi mthuut one of lhce 'k '
- TWADC MAnH
AH tkrW" f Ikr4r tK Tft1 (M.U. t txMHl. ltJ iU m . !, Wlb.
.1 ttkluMf GH - i4 mil .1 Mlrn TVj iuln Mmf ic tftttlr. Iwtt l f' '
6tUiaMr WHY WOT rMWVT ill IMll i 1M ilw !- r U "f.
ClJKltw "lumillMl" .tlflkM. W1L (altar tHI. V "IM I
MkUfet (Jr.Mt4 IW4 ' w i'l W t
now TO SCCURC A
Handsome Dinner Set.
This is our liberal oiler:
Whin V"ir after tin- lat an o i it t to ;?".uo wr will prr i
to you a handitorue hand docorati'd I)int.r M up n paymeot of ;2 '-'
cover freight and pnekitit: charge ('lumrnee your pureha.es at ore a :
you will be surprised how won you will be nbl to Mcarv o th-e ban
iotue Dinner Sets Get a card and have Tjr oih pureha.. record i
When the card is caneellrd a-k for a um one
One Dinner Set Free with $100.00 cash trade.
You will find these Beds on sale at
NUNN & TUCKER'S,
The Undertakers and Furniture Dealers
Call and Sec Thorn !
All large salarieo aro earned in business.
We train young people for profitable
employment. Our own "copyrighted" system of
bookkeeping meets modern requirements. Over
500 students annually. Fifty typewriters
for instruction purposes. Eight teachers.
Write for CJ Write for
Catalog "Z-Z J Catalog
Hundreds of graduates in positions.
Bookkeeping, Penmanship, Arithmetic, Correspondence,
Spelling, Business Law, Banking
Shorthand, Typewriting and Telegraphy.
Indiana's Greatest School of Business
A Cure For Constipation And "Now wouldn't it be funny," ,aid
Piles Discovered At Last. 1 10l),e' l,Iny1'y. "if I were to be-
'eoino n little boy again?"
Carlstedt'a German Liver ,, , , ,
,, , ' ' "Maybe it wouldn t bo so funny
removes the cause und cures every , ,.
case. Never a failure reported. Try I for 0U Pu roI,,litl !' bright young
it. Guaranteed under tho I'uro Food
and Drugs Act. Prio 20c. Sold bv
LBB80N8 BY MAIL
rf ' I'' "t tttrtrt.
S0D "" yu was to bo littlor'n me,
pa, I think I'd square up a few