Newspaper Page Text
FEB. 27,1913 THE CRITTENDEN RECORD-PRESS PAGE THSXB
PENNY WSE AMD POUND FOOLISH!
No Agency Has
Things Serious and Frivolous Talked
About on the Streets of
the County Hub.
(Reported by It. C. Haynes.)
Continued from last week.
"The enthusiastic outburst, of patriotism
as displayed by Hi'field Jones, ' '
Tontinued Zebulum, "soon subsided
an J the men began to cast about preparatory
to starting on their return
trip to the county seat.
" 'I don't know how the rest of you
gentlemen feel, 'said Bobby Broadway,
'but I'm as dry as the Sahara desert.
Its that blame road du9t. I move,
therefore, that we adjourn this wedding
celebration and start at once for
Marion, going, of course, by way of
the Fords Ferry tavern. Its my treat,
" 'I'll take a glass of water with you,
Broadway,' said the sheriff, giving
Bobby a wink out of his eye the
from Brother Marlow, 'and so
will Hick here (pointing to the deputy)
though I got a good supply while I
was Saratogaing down there in the
"Shaking hands with Nell and me
and the minister, tho sheriff and his
party left us, going in single file, the
sheriff in the lead and Bobby Broadway
bringing up the rear.
"As I have intimated before, I am
of a sympathetic nature, and I could
but feel horry for these men a3 they
trudged up the hill on their long walk
back to the county seat, they being, as j
I knew they must be, tired already
after their long chase. Although so
determined and relentless in the j
charge of their official duty, they were,
after all, kind-hearted, lovable men
and my mind in regard them had undergone
a revolution. A short time
before I had looked upon them as being
little better than demons, while
now, as I watched them wending their
way up the hill and finally disappear in
the somber moonlight, I could but look
upon them as being, as tho Bible puts
it, 'Just a little lower than tho angels.'
"Now that I was free from tho excitement
of tho chase, I felt tired, almost
exhausted; but when I reflected
upon the happy turn affairs had taken,
that I was not an outcast from home,
fleeing I knew not whither; upon the
brave littlo Nell, with her innocent
No 3s tho
Stronger depend upon
Tfiiaia Ms laboratory arc
Stomach such a3 heart,
The Medical Adviser by
Ji. V. Pierce, M. D., Buffalo,
N. Y. answers hosts
qf delicate questions
about which every man helps tho
or woman, single or married livor into
ought to Imaw. Sent blood, and
free on receipt of 31 one-cent of this being
stamps to pay for , fivornbly
wrapping and mailing. p. mo neft
Is the man who invests hard earned dollars in a home and then refuses to throw around his investment
the protection of Fire and Tornado insurance There is no protection that costs as little and worth
so much. Should you carry fire and tornado protection for FIFTY YEARS and then have a fire,
you have invested your money well. The average cost of insurance is only about ONE PER CENT
on Ihe investment. Then how long would it take you to spend the worth of your property for insurance?
The answer is about "OWE HUNDRED YEARS."
Write Your Kond
Ctmnin, iriw mOmmA W V
the To wn
impulsivedess and confiding love; upon
the noble and faithful Brother Mar-low,
the embodiment of all the Christian
graces, faith, hopo and love; and,
nbove all, upon the goodness of an
overruling Providence, a tear of thankfulness
rolled unbidden down my cheek.
" 'Zebulum,' said Nell, who was standing
near me, 'you are so tired, poor
thing,' and, taking a dainty handkerchief
from her pooket, she gently
brushed away the tear from my face;
then, seeing that Brother Marlow's
back was turned toward us, her pretty
cheeks rosy with blushes and tiptoeing
so she could reach high enough, she
pressed her soft, warm lips to the
place where the tear had been.
"Gentlemen, years and years have
passed since that evening we stood
there on the banks of the river, with
its silvery waters shimmering in the
moonlight, with the autumn leaves
falling around us and tho stars twinkling
over our heads years have passed,
I say, since then, and we have had our
share of the ups and downs of life
sometimes battling hard to keep 'the
hungry wolf from our door and now
she is old, and I am old, and our grandchildren
are growing up, yet I can feel
that kiss on my cheek to-day. It burns
there with an intensity that time cannot
"Nell was a country gin, only seventeen,
well educated for a girl of her
age in those days tho public schools
being then only in their infancy possessed
the admirable virtue of modesty
and was inclined to be timid, even
bashful; when, therefore, in her sympathetic
impnlsiveness, she gave me
that snack on the left side of my face,
she naturely thought that she was unobserved
by the only possible spectator
on tho landing. When she turned
around, however, she paw, to her ut
ter confusion, that Brother Marlow
had been a wide-eyed spectator to tho
" 'Brother Marlow, she said no
doubt because in her embarrassment,
poor thing, she didn't know what else
to say 'do you believe in final perseverance?'
"Tho minister wa3 rather taken
greatoit nlhloto have dyspepsia and hia
will soon fail. One'o stamina force-fullness
and Sticngth of mind or musclo
tho blood, and tho blood in turn,
healthy stomach, for tho stomach is tho
where the food is digested and such elements
taken up or assimilated which make
consequence all the organs of the body,
lungs, liver and kidneys, as well as
system, feci the bad effect if tho stomach
stomach to digent food properly, starts tho
new activity, removing tho poisons from tho
the various organs pet rich, red blood,
illy nourlshedrTJio refreshing Influenco
extract of native medicinal plants has been
for over 40 years. Everywhere
hhor can tell you of tho good it has donot
f i y mniedlclno dealers In llaqU! or tablet fonai
or acnd0 one-cent itsnnn to DrTpisrcc. Invalids
Siu:wi,i.mriUo,RHatrlaIhex wUl be Mailed yea
Had you net better let us talk
it. This agency writes all
THE FELLOW THAT APPRECIATES YOUR BUSINESS.
aback by beinif thus called upon to
give to an audience of, two his views
on so profound a theological subject.
"'Yes, Nelly, I certainly do,' ho
nnawerei, indulgently, 'we men folks
have to believe in all kinds of perseverance,
else we never would get married,
would we Zebulum?'
" 'Now, Brother Marhw," said Nell,
regaining her composure, I nee you
are afraid to discuss Bible questions
with me. Do you know, I'm inclined
to believe in falling from grace. Brother
Yates says '
And I'm incline to think. Nell,' I
enicrrupted, 'that Brother Yates
doesn't know Scripture when he sets
it; however, we can discuss that question
on our way home. I'm as tired as
I an off ox. as hungry as a lost sheep
J and as sleepy as the seven sisters in
i the Arabian Nights. 1 move, there-
fore, and the I's have it, that we ad-l
"'Yes, Zeb, we must just fly! fly!'
agreed Nell. 'Didn't I tell you that I
was dying to seePop and Benny?'
"We started at once for Squire
Brownlow's, but did not go flying, in
any sense of the word, going afoot up
the rocky roadway, journeying along
in single file, I in the lead, Nell at my
heels and Brother Marlow in tho rear,
leading old Slick Selim.
"We had suggested to Nell that she
ride the hors", while the minister and
I take it afoot; but she refused to do
so, intimating that she didn't like that
Btyle of saddle. Nell, jou must remember,
gentlemen, had not learned
tho art of tho more hygienic horseback
riding as practiced by our up-to-date,
"So we trudged on up the steep hill
towards Ford3 Ferry, my knees working
like rusty hinges and knowing,
from certain halt-expressed sighs that
now and then came up from behind
me, that Nell's and Brother Marlow's
were not working much better. j
"'Brother Marlow,' I said, 'I've
thought out a scheme that will beat
this two to one. You mount old Slick i
"The minister did as suggested. I '
then placed Nell on the horse behind
him, ac far to the rear as space would
permit. Then leading Slick Selim up
to a stump, I bounced on his back, between
Nell and Brother Mai low. Ey
grab, this is some riding, I reflected, '
as the horse started off in a brisk walk
up the road, tho three of us on h's
' 'Shucks and fodder!' said Brothrr
Marlow, as he tried in vain to get his
feet properly located, 'These stirrups
are absolutely of no utility to me.'
I "I looked down and could see that
the minister's legs were dangling down
a foot or more below tho length of the
stirrup leathers, thev haying been
i shortened to accommodate the more
1 stubby legs of Bobby Broadway. As
I it was only a short distance, however, j
I to our destination, wo decided not
change the lengthy of the stirrup leathers
"As wo came to the little town I
could see the lights shining through
the windows of the residences, indicating
that tho Fords Ferrians had not
yet gone to bed; and, as wo passed the
tavern the sheriff, the town marshal,
the deputy, Solcmon Wiggleford,
Highfield Jones and Bobby Broadway
came rushing out of the door. On
reaching the sidewalk they threw their
hats into th- air and yelled out:
Three cheers for Zebulum and his
bonny bride! Hurrah for Brother Marlow,
Slick Selim and Horraco Greeley!'
"We acknowledge their salutation but
made no halt, old Slick Selim striking
off in a high trot. Slick Selim was
not noted for his easy, trotting, but
still, I reflected, it beats walking. So
on we trotted. Brother Marlow sit-
ting'up Napolean-like in the saddle, J
holding the reins with one hand and
occasionally pointing out to us certain
interesting objects along the road
with tho other his stove-pipe hat
over the matter of insurance with you TO-DAY,
kinds of GOOD INSURANCE.
for a Very Little
pointing skyward from his head and
his long legs dangling down stirrupless
toward the center of gravity.
"'Isn't tln3 just splendid, Zeb,'
spoke up Nell, 'to be out riding in the
cool of the evening, inhaling the
health-giving ozonn and isn't old Slick
Sel m's beck soft and nice, and doesn't
tho moon shine lovely through those
biautiful autumn '
' Nell, in her observations respecting
the moonbeams and the autumn
leaves, never reached a period, or
even a semicolon; for jut then a
traction engine came lumbering up behind
us, raising Cain and whistling for
us to vacate the middle of the road!
"Hearing the racket behind him,
old Slick Selim took a bickward glance
and one look was enough. He lit out
up the road like a wild gazelle, the
three of us clinging on to his back and
leaving a blue streak behind us!
" 'Hold him, Brother Marlow, by
grab, hold him!' I shouted, as the
horse plunged on up the road as if determined
to outdistance the rumbling
monster behind him, jostling us up at
a great rate and sending Nell bumping
up against the back of Benny's
"'Whoa, Slickzie boy! Whoa'p!'
cried Brother Marlow, at the same
time giving the bridle a desperate pull,
snapping the reins in two as if they
had been twine strings and turning old
Slick Selim upon the public
"When the horse felt the breaking
of the reins he glanced back, as if to
see what was the matter, and, getting
another glimpse of the traction engine,
he lit out with increased furry, sending
up great volumes of iieol dust in
front of tho on-coming engine, the
three of us holding franticly on to his
' On we dashed, the horse plumbling
the middlo of tho road, and on lumbered
the traction engine, raising all kinds
of Cain behind us!
"Still on we plunged,
Brother Marlow holding to the saddle
horn with one hand and to his stovepipe
hat with the other, his legs clasped
around tho horse and being hammered
into pulp by the flying stirrups
I holding on to his Prince Albert;
Nell, bouncing up and down like a rubber
ball, but holding desperately on.
If weak, you need Cardul,
the woman's tonic. Cardui
is made from gentle herbs,
acts in a natural manner,
and has no bad results, as
some of the strong, drugs
sometimes used. As a medicine
a tonic for weak,
tired, worn-out women,
Cardui has been a popular ,
success for over 50 years.
Tho Woman's Tonic
Mrs. Lula Walden, of
Gramlin, S. C, followed
this advice. Read her letter:
"1 was so (weak,
when I first began to take
Cardui, that it tired me to
walk just a little. Now, I
can do all the general
housework, for a family of
9." Try Cardui for your
troubles. It may be the
very remedy you need.
Cost. Let Us Tell
I've got the dead wood on the sheriff
now, by grab, I reflected, as she clung
to me, tightly if not affectionately,
her arms around my neck, some
of her fingers in my mouth and:
oiners iigimy gripping my nose, completely
cutting off my wind in that direction
and causing all kinds of noises
to come forth out of my mouth on
" Hey there, Squire!' cried Brother
Marlow, as we emerired into the lane
some quarter of a mile distant from
l the house. 'Hell)!' hello! Here we
come, Squire, head us off!'
"Brother Marlow had a strong voice
and, in cases of emergency, could use
it to good ('fleet on the road, as well
as in the pulpit.
"The of the minister's voice
had scarcely died away amid tho sur
rounding hill.s, when 1 saw Squiie
Brownlow come out of the houe and
make a break toward the road, follow
(d by Benny.
"Up the lane wc went, head-on,
1 ckaty split, old Slick Selim's heels
pounding the roadway and the three of
us still holding desperately on to tiis
back, and on lumbered the traction
engine, whistling and puffing i...d
raising Cain behind us
" 'Here we come, Squire and Ben
ny! Head us oil"!' again shouted
''This of oourse it would have been '
impossible for them to do, as they
. vuu.u w -' run over oy no trac - ,
afnnrl nlltrn U,,ittrnlnur rflmmnAfl qHiijI.
ing by the roadside and as we dashed
I by he made a motion to his daughter.
i Nell, understanding the signal, loosed
her hold upon me, gave a leap from
the back of the plunging horse into
, the air, landing safely into her father's
"Brotner Marlow and I, however,
did not fare so well; for just as Nell
made her desperate leap, the horse
gave a sudden spring to the right, dislodging
the minister and me from his
back and sending us out into open
"Obedient to the law of gravitation !
we. after various gyrations in midair, I
landing on mother earth anu '
in all kinds of shapes, just as the engine
went rumbling by.
"As the machine passed by the engineer,
with his hand on the throttle,
looked down at Brother Marlon and
mo with a dogdificare, getoutomiwiy
expression on his countenance and soon
disappeared up the road.
"'That scoundrel of an engineer,'
said Squire Brownlow, 'has evidently
been visiting the Fords Ferry bar and
I have a notion, by gum, to put the
sheriff and his party on his track for
reckless traction engine driving on the I
" 'I wish y,ou would, pa,' I said, as
I scrambled to my feet, picked up my
hat and pulled myself together as' well
as I could.
" 'Amen to that. Squire, 'said Brother
Marlow, also getting on to his feet,
straightening out his caved-in stovepipe,
also getting behind me and slyly
examining various black and blue
places just below his knees,
"Squire Brownlow, pointing with
ono hand toward the house, moved off
in that direction, still carryinx Nell in
his arms, Brother Marlow following at
his heels, Benny next in order and
taking long strides, trying to step into
the tracks of the minister, and I, hob
bling along stiff-legged in the rear.
EDITOR'S NOTE This interesting
adventure, as told by himself,
will bo concluded in this department of
tho next week.
It will be to your interest to
see us before you sell your corn. (
MARIO MILLING CO. i
for tomorrow you may X
You About It. n
Office over Farmers Bank j
Marion, Kentucky. 5
CATAKHH GermS MllSt Bfi b'OnrjUerel
or Health Will Be Destroyed.
If you have Catarrh vou must vanquish
an army of persistent, destructive
microbes before you can be
You might as well choose your weapons,
declare war and destroy this army
of Catarrh germs right now.
Booth's IIYOMEI. a pleasant germ
destrojinp air breathed over the entire
menl)ra?jD will kill Catarrh germs.
Booth! mOMEI (pronounce it
High-o-lie) is guaranteed by Haynes
& Tayfir to end Catarrh or mony
back. It surely is fine for Couch
Colds and Croup.
If you own a little HvrMEI hartl
rubber pocket inhaler get . separate'
bottle of HYOME1 for only nts
If you haven't an innaier .
complete outfit for only ilirtv .
breathe it no stomach dosing
For Sale or Rent,
A nice home of four rooms
with porches and good cistern;
5 acres of ground; variety of
fruits TsJpnr pifv limits A hnr.
gam jf taken a Qnce
Manure spreader, 1 wagon and
wire fencing, all heights at a
bargain. W. E. Belt,
pF34t Marion, Ky.
A bay horse, in line flsh, safe,
for women and children. Cash
or good note. J. M. McChesney.
nn ,, rpy UAIITFI
V U U L I IV I V V W I L U
6 Country Produce bought at
highest market prices.
EGGS, BUTTER, BEESWAX.
and anything you have for
sale in our line exchanged
C. R. NEWCOM
Opera House Block
MARION, - KENTUCKY
THE HALL OF FAME.
EMMA nAUT WILLARD-
Pioneer in woman's education.
23, 17S7, and
N. Y., April
in 1803 and
head of a
girls academy at Middlebury.
Vt. Married Dr. John Wlllard.
Opened In her homo a boarding
school for girls and broadened
the curriculum. Laid beforo tho
Now York legislature a plan for
improving femalo education and
established a seminary at Water-ford.
She thoa founded tho Troy
Femalo seminary. In 1833 Mrs.
Wlllard went" to Europe and
helped to start a girls school nt