s
I Iil
I t
f
0
J
J gl < 2 THE ADAIR COUNTY NEWS
q
t
j I Humor mfi L Philosophy
t
By DUNCAN M SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS
Man is hard to satisfy which is a
P wise provision of nature for what is
more stale than a satisfied man
Patience is a most excellent quality
and we are always so fond of our pa
tient friends They stand for so much I
Corns grow rapidly in hot weather
and tight places
There is neither honor nor emolu
J ments coming from being just an ordi
nary liar
There are some women who certain
ly are entitled to keep their husbands
in nights
It is such a pity that the people of
whom we are the most fond somehow
have a way of being impossible them
selves or making us seem so
f
The girl who doesnt expect a man
to expect that she knows much but
expects him to expect that she expects
t him to know everything makes a great
t
hitTruth mayI
I Truth is a precious thing which may
r be why some people use it so spar
ingly
i There are a lot of people who never
get seasick They were born inland
and had the good judgment to stay
there
therePretty
Pretty clothes would not be half so
pretty to the average woman if they
were inexpensive
inexpensiveThe
The Straw Vote
When man comes sailing through the
train
And asks how you intend to vote
So he may reckon in advance
Oer whose tent victory will float
On his conclusions more to bank
We might be very much inclined
If he could prove beyond a doubt
That people did not change their mind
Some fellows vote the selfsame way
greatgreatgranddadl
l did
And when the vote collector calls
Their politics will not be hid
But there are more unstable men
Who shift around and change their
views
With every shifting of the wind
Or every time they change their shoes
The man who gathers up the vote
Dont reckon with the playful clown
Who feels that he must shift about
To prove that he is not nailed down
He votes for Mr Man today
But in a week he may be found
Inclined to be the other way
Next time the voting slips go round
Its nice to know you can predict
Within about a dozen votes
Just what the answers going to be
To all these high and silvery notes
The SAraw vote ballot makes a noise
That sounds like double cinched suc
cess
But read your ticket carefully
And find you have another guess
Causes Pain
Parting Is such sweet sorrow
Or that is what they say
< With a dollar a friend comes to borrow
Wholl never never pay
Thorough Agriculturist
Blifkins wasnt raised on a farm I
9
i guess
I dont know
Saw a load of hay coming down
the street and swelled up with pride
because he knew what it was
Pete Balked
4 He has failed at last
Has he been in jeopardy
For a year he has been robbing
Peter to pay Paul
Couldnt work it any longer
No Peter refused to stand
u
Easy
uIt is no trick at all to be honest
Is that so
YepHow
How do you know
The stupidest men I know are all
honest
Name Scared Him
Ii He seems inclined toward bashful
M iess = Vf i 4 W
j r Bashful isno name for it He
Wouldnt allow t me to introduce him to
3he dumb waiter
What More Could You Ask
J Howls your mine panning out
Fine The stockholders are still
sending in installments on the stock
4they purchased months ago
r Matter of Eyesight
> Shall we see you at the seaside
f 71 I hope TO If yon ire there and w
I j iit e
I I m i1II 1
< i J i t h1 ft gtt N
JY 7 t I
It
I
t r I
1
y J
Humor ca Philosophy
By DUNCAN M SMITH
SO FORWARD
The germ is not a formal chap
He mixes In a ruction
Not waiting till a mutual friend
Frames up an introduction
Quite as familiar as you please
He lights upon a dandya
And after sampling the youth
Pronounces him the candy
If seated in an easy chair
He sees the human brother
He does not hesitate and say
We do not know each other
He goes in on his rubber shoes
Suspicion not arousing
And sticks around a week ortso
If he enjoys the browsing
No use to slap him on the wrist
Or cast suspicious glances
At Mr Germ as to the fray
In millions he advances
And though you feed him germicide
In doses good and plenty
He may succumb but In his place
Will spring up ten or twenty
The germ is not you understand
The worst and meanest ever
But he must live and thats enough
Excuse for his endeavor
He cannot live by etiquette
1 Or wait for invitations
He would in ttyat event I fear
Be mighty shy on rations
Fair Substitute
If you would get along said the
wise old uncle to the poor nephew
who was Just starting in to work
make it a rule never to watch the
clock
lockGood
Good suggestion uncle but I feel
you could materially assist me in keep
ing it
By my friendly advice
No by buying me a watch
Always Ahead of Time
She picked an advance agent for
her third husband
Did she love him 1
Not specially but she thought she
would have at least one husband who
wouldnt be late to his meals
Humble Valley
What is the name of that youb
gave me
Pride of the Valley How do you
llkeiU
Oh so so
Whats the matter with it
Nothing only I was thinking as I
smoked it that the valley couldnt have
been very proud
Makes the Money Fly
What do you consider the best cir
culating medium gold or silver
NeitherWhat
What paper at
No Guess again
Give it up
A woman
womant
1 Looking Ahead
Why is Maud riding around with
that old fossil when there are so many
younger men 1
Never fear but what she knows
Her idea is that bright girls should
train up rich uncles in the way they
should go
Had an Object
Did you hear Jones bragging of his
wifes cooking at the table
He must think she is a wonder
Yes or else he wants to borrow
back a few dollars of his salary
PERT PARAGRAPHS
You cant forgive a person you dont
like for presuming to dislike a person
you have selected for the honor
Some people are perplexed about
whom they shall invite to their wed
ding but the question of the attend
ance upon the divorce solves itself
How very clever a thing it is to suf
fer and make somebody pay for it
There is no use in crying but only
the hopelessly utilitarian or the mer
cenary would cry for use anyway
It is sometimes amusing to be serious
and generally serious to be always
amusing
1
The happy me
dium is undoubt
edly the one who
catches andholds
the nimble dol
lar
Some people ex
pect a good deal
This is not nec
essarily synony
mous with a
square deal
Doctors have to live even if others
must die >
The man who is ambitious to be contented
tented has a funny problem to solve
The jhired girl will probably solve her
own point problem by i7reach in 3sm the Banishing
The large space a man occupies on
the payroll isnt always commensurate
with the s space4 he fi ion the field of
abor a k
+
h 9f
J K
Y a
Alf 4i41
f7 f or Xrrt J f i ii
f
yI
r
J
j
r S Q
TO PEOPLE OF ADAIR COUNTY 1 i I
I It takes money to run a campaign and it takes ai c
Rgreat deal of it to successfully engineer one of national 1
scope The present atitude of the Democratic party
excludes contribution from the powerful corporations I
I and trusts and consequently must rely on the partyI I
patriotism and freewill offerings of the great common
people to meet the demands of legitimate campaign
expenses and the sooner this is met the more life en
Ithusiasm and effectiveness will be given the work nec
essary to win It is the duty as well as a privilege for
every person who believes in and desires democratic suc
cess to contribute to this fund A request has been
made that Democratic papers solicit for this purpose
Iand forward same to the National Committee We obey
the suggestion and ask every true Democrat to help in I
this fight to restore to the great bulk of the people their
rights their privileges and the blessings of a free gov
ernment Any amount from one dollar up will be cheer
I fully received and promptlYforwarded to the Commit
tee Fill out the following and enclose your contribu
= tion
EDITOR NEWS
1
Enclose find my contribution to
Democratic Campaign Fund
I DemocraticCampaignFundI I
Address 1 o
L0 gXgXsXSXSXfiXaXSX gXsX j
I
I
ho w allow News
II From Hogwallow Kentuckian
The man who walks fast just to
act like he is in a hurry never
gets anywhere
Raz Barlow came in yesterday
and paid us a young rabbit on
his subscription
subscriptionWhen
When entering our private
office you are requested to touch
nothing but the floor
If every girl could marry rich
there would be no poor ones for
her to look down upon
The storm party to be given at
the Hog Ford Preachers has
been postponed on account of
pretty weather
Since the almanac has predict
ed that the coming winter will
be mild the corn in the field s
shedding some of its shucks
Miss Rosyola Mosely was over
come with emotion Tuesday while
composing a piece of poetry and
is yet very ill
The Hog Ford moonlight still
house wants to buy old jugs at
once as they are fixing to make
up a lot of aged licker for the I
Thanksgiving trade
It is deeply regretted that Fit
Smith planted his Irish potatoes
at the wrong time of the moon
as they came up without any
tops to them
Tne mail carrier today brought
that the lighting
in a report j
split a load of wood for a lazy
man on Gimlet creek last Thurs
day
Three of Fletcher Hensteps
dogs have the distemper and
their condition is said to bel
serious Atlas is having a great I
deal of sickness in his family t
this year v familyII
I
The Dog Hill preacher has
asked us to correct a statement I
we made to the effect that he
was ill with rheumatism He I I
says he is always in a good
goodI
humor I
4umor
humorA
A flock of wild geese spent
the day at Tobe Mosely pond
this week They are on their
way south to spend the winter
Sim Flinders says he wishes he
had the mpneyto go south every
t
winter tooi fi
> Prof S radlen who runs the
9S
k
Y 7 w
wf
f
F
C t t rfi t
J r
io
Wild Onion school left here this
week and has not been seen
since He went away during
books and the scholars are wish
ing that he would come back and
dismiss them so that they could
all go home
Wild mosquitoes are said to be
more plentiful in the Gander
creek bottom this year than eyer
before They have entirely
blockaded the road and Jeffer
son Potlooks our hustling road
overseer will have to use dyna
mite to open up the way
Big preparation is being made
for the notification ceremonies at
Bounding Billows on Gander
Creek next Saturday Atlas
Peck who had the honor of
being nominated to the office of
coroner will on that occasion be
told of the honor bestowed on
him The Excelsion Fiddling
Band will be secured for the oc
casion with a big barbecus on
the grounds Great secrecy is
being maintained to keep the
news of the nomination from
Atlas until the official day and
it is not probable that he will
hear of it as he is deaf
Accident in coal mines of the
United States during the last
calander year resulted in the
death of 3135 men and injury of
513 more according to statis
tics just made public by the
geological survey
The whereabouts of W4E
Smith the missing student of
the State University at Lexing
ton is still a mystery The
president and university faculty
deprecate the action of several
newspapers in giving the case
such wide publicity A com =
mittee of the faculty publishes a
report regarding the case
Had a Close Call
jMrs Acla L Croom the widely known
proprietor of the jCroom Hotel Vaughn
Miss says For several months I suf
ered with a severe cough and con
sumption seemed to have its grip on
tie when a friend recommended Dr
Kings New Discovery I began tak
ing it and three bottles affected a com I
plete cure The fame of this life sav
ing cough and cold remedy and lung I
and throat healer is world wide Sold
at Paulls drug store50c and1a00
Trial bottle free
4s
For SaleRhode Island Red cock
reIs WL Walker
82t i
j
a
a7t t
m N
I j
f
f 4f
t5 3
ta1 JL
=
Evei ua a I
I
I ISellaICkinds
aIr kinds of Preparatory Rem 1
edies Extracts Spices Per = 1I
fumes Toilet Articles includ = I
t ing Barber Supplies Stock and Poultry Food g
tEverything is sold under A POSITIVE 6
I GUARANTEE by The J R Watkins Medical f
I Co Winno Minn ft
I Call and get my prices on the goods that jj
I handle You can see me on the road or at jji
I my residence on Frazier Ave y Columbia Ky a
I ME Jones a Gr
I
J
I aeoOCJOC 3CJOOOO0800E3 = 3CJor3OE3CJ =
1
IT IS MONEY TO YOU IF YOU BUY AT
t
THE RIGHT PLACE
e t
See my Stock of F + I
GENERAL MERCHANDISE i Sr t
1
Produce Wantedi
tA
W L SIMMONS
HUMBLE KENTUCKY
J E Snow J C Popplewell
A CAR EACH OF
Buggies octagons and
Fertilizetdust
dust 13eeeizted
Give us a call See our Ball Bearing Buggies and
get our prices on all grades before buying elsewhere
Out Business motto
Qcaek Sales and Shopt Profits
Snout Popplecuell
DEAIIEItS If
Geneva merchandise
and UDdetrtaketr Goods
Russell Springs Kentucky
I
JOHN A HOBSON t
Cs1ZEHj1SBURCs ENTdC Y
i
fias Erpough J J
Pionietf t tite pence I ti
to fence in Green and Adair counties r
l
fl
The Stay wires on this fence are so M
attached that they cant slip on the
Line Wires The Harder You Pull
the Tighter it Gets t
r
l EtOUGf >
Poultry getting
to fence an Acre Chicken Yard on every farm in the two
counties and dont forget the 97 kinds of Wall Paper ad
vertised in recent issues of The News M
t tJ
i FRANK COR ORAN i
nigh Geade
Marble 9 Granite
Cemetery work
kintLI
See US heforeW
you buy
> Trade from Adair and adjoining counties y
solicited
> s Main Street Lebanon Ky <
jj > > QQW KyJJI
t
i 4 b f + < l >
x s r foI r1 + X fi r f fa r Jh t t
OfoI
I qH 1 O If
1il ltrt < r Sk Ii L fez wrt k t J
I Q it ii t e
< Y d t A
n < l < i t >
I