Newspaper Page Text
Dearest Bee, "would you hear
People toll me that Cupid is blind 1
In some cases, no doubt; but you'll find-So
1 think that mine's an exception; J
', I never expected perfection
He's stalwart and tall,
Has blue eyes,
, .Auburn hair, and an all but GreeKjiose;
, A mouth rather well, I suppose .
You would say rather large. To.my mind
A large mouth's not unpleasingr, combined
5 With blue eyes. '
As to temperament well,
I must say , - .
Thafhe's choleric, dear hot and glowing
Has tropical methods of Showing1
His feelings. "That's nothing, of course:
I like energy, fire and force, ' '
I must say.
Has he talent? you'll ask.
It is plain
He could write, for he talks very well,
Will be so I fancy a swell
At the Bar; for he's steady, though slow;
And that work is far botterthan show
Is quite plain.
I should like you to know
My dear John;
I feel sure you would quite think with me
That a better man never could be;
Not perfection, of course I'm not blind;
1 never expected to find
That in John.
HIS ONE GREAT FAULT.
A Tale of Uuttons.
Breakfast was just over at the parsonage,
the table "was cleared away, the
chairs set back, and Mrs. Ashton in a neat
morning dress, "with a pretty little cap
on her pretty little head, was standing
with her arm over her tall husband's
shoulder, looking at the morning paper.
And as fine-looking a pair they were as
you will be likely to see in a summer's
day. 'Bev. Clement Ashton was, indeed,
said to be the handsomest man in tie
parish, and that with good reason;
whether he had any ideas of his own on
the subject was entirely his own affair.
Mrs. Ashton, as she was styled by the
parish Christiana, as her godfathers and
fodmothers named her Chrissey, as her
rothers and .husband called her was
not usually regarded as remarkably handsome.
Her features were not very regular,
and She was not fair; but her eyes, so
bright and clear, her figure so elastic and
trim, her abupdant hair, and above all,
her frank, easy manners, and the expression
of sunny good temper and openness
which lighted up her face, made most
people consider her a very attractive
woman. All in the parish liked her,
from the two old people who sat in the
church, and always came round to get
their dinner at the parsonage on Sundays,
to Mrs. Dr. Kush, who was by far the
grandest lady in the parish.
Mr. and Mrs. Ashton had been married
about six months, after an engagement
of- almost three years, during which time
they had corresponded vigorously,
but had seen very little of each
other, for Mr. Ashton was an assistant
in an overgrown parish in one
of our larger cities, and could seldom
be spared; and Chrissey was teacher in
another great city, where she supported
herself, and helped by her labors to educate
one of her brothers for the ministry.
It was not till this brother had finished
his studies, and was placed on an independent
foo.ting, that she had consented
to be married.
"George cannot support himself entirely,"
she said, in answejr to the
of her lover; "he is not strong
enough to labor as many of the young
men do, and he needs my help. I know,
too, that if he attempts any more than
"he is doing, his health will fail, and he
will become discouraged. You must
content yourself to board awhile longer
with your good friend, Mrs. Bicketts,
And to this resolution she steadfastly
adhered, despite Clement's persuasions,
and those of George, who was distressed
at the thought that his sister's marriage
Bhould be put off on his account. Under
these circumstances, the lovers did not
see much of each other, and they were
finally married without Chrissey's ever
having suspected her husband of having
any infirmity of temper. She had suffered
much on discovering that such
was the case, and felt inclined sometimes
to wish that she had never been disenchanted.
But she was a wise woman;
elie knew her husband's intrinsic excellencies
and strength as well as his weakness,
and altering an old maxim to suit
her own purpose, she resolved both to
endure and cure.
"What do you set about to-day?" she
asked, as Mr. Ashton, having exhausted
the paper, arose from the sofa corner.
"Visiting," replied his reverence. "I
must go up to old Mrs. Balcomb's and
see the Joneses, and try to prevail on
Phil Taggart to let his children come to
the Sunday-school once more. Then I
have to see poor Maggie Carpenter, who
iB much worse again, and if 1 have time,
I shall get into the omnibus and ride out
to the mills, to that girl Miss Flower
mentioned to me yesterday."
Mr. Ashton turned to go into the
study, and as he did so, his foot caught in
the carpet,, and he was nearly thrown
down. Chrissey started in alarm, but he
recovered himself, and said pettishly
"I do wish you would have that carpet
nailed down. I have stumbled over it
twenty times in the course of a week, I
"I thought Amy had fastened it," returned
his wife, with perfect mildness.
"I am sure I saw her at work there.
The door must pull it out of place, I
"Oh! of course there is always some
excellent reason for its being outof order.
It seems to me that, with all your ingenuity,
you might find some way of making
it more secure."
He turned into his study, shutting the
door after him with rather unnecessary
force, and Mrs. Ashton turned to the fire
and arranged her work-basket for the day
with something of a cloud on her fairface.
She was not left long here undisturbed,
for Mr. Ashton's voice was soon
heard calling her in impatient
tones. She sighed, but arose
and entered the next room, where she
found her husband standing before his
bureau partly dressed, and with shirts,
cravats and handkerchiefs scattered about
him like a new kind of snow, while his
face bore an expression of melancholy
reproach at once painful and slightly
"What is the matter!'' she asked.
"Oh, the old story I Not a button
wlhere it ought to bel not a shirt ready
to wear I I do not mean to be unreasonable,"
he continued, in an agitated voice,
as he tumbled over the things, to the
manifest discomposure of the clean
linen, "but really, Chrissey, I think you
might see that my clothes are iu order.
I am sure I would do more than that for
you; but here I am delayed and put to
the greatest inconvenience because you
cannot sew on these buttons I I should
really think that a little of the time you
spend in writing to George and Henry
might as well be bestowed on me."
This address was delivered in a tone
and manner of mournful distress, which
might have been justified, perhaps, if
Mrs. Ashton had picked his pocket as he
was going to church.
"What is the matter with this shirt?"
asked Chrissey, quietly examining one of
the discarded garments. "It seems to
have all the buttons in their places; and
this one, too, is quite perfect; and here
is another. My dear husband, how many
shirts do you usually wear at a time?"
"Oh! it is all very well for you to
smile, my love, but I do assure you I
found several with no means at all
of fastening the wristbands. We
had breakfast late, and now I
shall be detained half an hour, when
I ought to be away. I know you mean
well, but if you had served a year's apprenticeship
with my mother before you
were married, it might have been all the
better for your housekeeping."
"It might have prevented it altogether,"
was repressed in a moment. She
picked up and replaced the scattered apparel,
folded the snowy cravats, warmed
her husband's overshoes, and saw that the
beautiful little communion service, presented
by a lady of the parish, and consecrated
to such sufferers as Maggie Carpenter,
was in readiness. Before he left
the house Mr. Ashton had forgottenboth
his fretfulness and its cause. He kissed
his wife, thanked her for her trouble and
strode away with his. usual elastic step
and pleasant face.
Chrissey watched him from the door
till he turned into the next street, and
then went back to the fireside and to her
This fretfulness and tendency to be
greatly disturbed at little matters was
almost her husband's only fault. He
was to the last degree,
faithful and indefatigable as an apostle
in all his professional labors, liberal to a
fault, and in his administration of parish
matters wise and conciliating to all. He
could bear real injuries with the greatest
patience, and was never known to harbor
But with all these good qualities, Mr.
Ashton's one fault threatened to disturb
and finally to destroy the comfort of his
married life. If his wife, by extravagance
or bad management had wasted his income
and involved him in difficulties, it is probable
that he would never have spoken an
unkind word to her; but the fact of a button
being missing, or a book removed
from its place, would produce a lamentation
half indignant and half pathetic,
which rung in Chrissey's ears, and made
her heart ache long after Clement had
forgotten the circumstance altogether.
Strange as it may seem, Mr. Ashton had
never thought of this habit, of which he
was but imperfectly conscious, as a fault.
He thought, indeed, that it was a pity
he should be so sensitive, and sometimes
said that he wished he had not such a
love for order and symmetry, for then he
should not be so often annoyed by the
disorderly habits of other people. He
said to himself that it was one of his peculiar
trials that even. Chrissey, perfect
as she was, did not come up to his ideas
in this respect: but that his peculiar
trials, as he was pleased to call them,
ever became trials to other people, he
did not imagine. He had remarked, in
spite of himself, that Chrissy's face was
not as cheerful, nor her spirits as light as
when they were first married; and he
regretted that the cares of housekeeping
should weigh so heavily upon her; but
nothing was further from his thoughts
than that anything in himself could nave
produced the change.
Mr. Ashton, exhausted with his 'day's
work, turned towards home with his
mind and heart full of all he had seen
and felt He said very little during dinner,
but when the table wa3 removed,
and he sat down in his dressing-gown and
slippers before the fire, he related to his
wife all the events of the day, describing
with the enthusiasm of his earnest
nature, the patience and holy resignation
he had witnessed, and ended by saying:
"Certainly religion has power to sustain
and console under all trials, and
under every misfortune."
"JExcept the loss of a button," replied
Chrissey, seriously. "That is a misfortune
which neither philosophy nor religion
ca& enable one to sustain."
Eev. Mr. Ashton started as though a
pistol had been discharged at his ear."
"Why, what do you mean, Chrissey?"
"Just what I say," returned Chrissey,
with the same soberness. "Yourself, for
instance; you can endure with the greatest
resignation the loss of friends and
misfortune; I never saw you ruffled by
rudeness or abuse from others, or show
any impatience under severe pain; but
the loss of a button from your shirt, or a
nail from the carpet, gives you a perfect
right to be unreasonable, unkind, and I
must say it unchristian."
Mr. Ashton arose, and walked up and
down the room in some agitation.
"I did not think, my love," he said at
last, in a trembling tone, "that you would
attach so much importance to a single
hasty word. Perhaps I spoke too quickly;
but even if it were so, did we not
promise to be patient with each other's
infirmities? I am sure I am very glad
to bear with "
Mr. Ashton paused; he was an eminently
truthful man, and, upon consideration,
he really could not remember
that he had ever had anything to bear
from his wife.
"If it were only once, my dear husband,
I should say nothing about it; but
you do not in the least seem aware how
the habit has grown upon you. There
has not been a 'day this "week in which
you have not made my heart ache by
some such outburst of fretfulness.
Mr. Ashton was astonished; but as he
began to reflect, he was still more surprised
to find that his wife's accusation
was true. One day it had been about the
front-door mat, and the next about a
mislaid Review, and then about a lost
pair of gloves, which after all were found
in his own pocket.
As his conscience brought forward one
instance after another of unkindneas, he
sat down again and covered his face with
"But thatris not the worst," continued
Chrissey, becoming agitated in her turn.
"I fear I cannot Uielp fearing that I
shall beled tofeel as Lought not towards-you.
I fear lest I shall in time lose the
power of respecting my husband; and
when respect goes, Clement, love does
not last, long This very morning I
found myself wishingJI had never known
Chrissey burst into tears, a - very unusual
demonstration for her; and Clement,,
springing up,, traversed the room
once or twice, aha then sat down at hia
"Christiana," he said mournfully, "is
it come to this? I have deserved it I
feel that I have but to lose your respect,
your love my punishment is greater
than 1 can bear, Ulirissey.
"It was but the thought of a moment,"
replied Christiana, checking her sobs;
"but I am frightened that the idea
should have entered my mind. If I
should cease to love you, Clement, I should
die. I would rather die this moment."
"God forbid!" ejaculated her husband,
clasping her in his arms. "But why, my
dearest love, have vou not told me of
"It is neither a grateful nor a gracious
office for a wife to reprove her husband,
or a woman her pastor," replied Christiana,
laying her head on his
shoulder; "and if I had not been left
here alone all day, I think I should
hardly have got up my courage
now. But if you are not angry, I am
glad I have told you all that was in my
heart; for, indeed, my dear, it has been a
sad, aching heart this long time. And
now I must tell you how those two unlucky
shirts came to be buttonless."
"No, don't say one word about them,
my love," said Clement, penitently. "I
will never complain again if the sleeves
are missing as well as the buttons."
"But I must tell you, fori really mean
to have my housekeeping affairs in as
good order as any one's. I was looking
over your shirts yesterday afternoon, and
had put them all to rights but these two,
when Mrs. Lennox came in, in great distress,
to say that her sister's child was
much worse, and they feared dying; so I
dropped all and went over there. You
know how it was. No one had any
calmness or presence of mind. The
child's convulsions were frightful to witness;
the mother was in hysterics, and
Mrs. Lennox worse than nobody at all.
It was nearly midnight when I got away,
and meantime Amy nad put the room in
order, and restored the shirts to their
Amy now put her head into the room.
"If you please, missus, a young woman
in the kitchen would like to see missus a
"Missus" arose and went out into the
kitchen, and Mr. Ashton, taking a
candle from the table, entered the study
and locked himself in. Chrissey waited
for him a long time, and tapped at the
door. It was opened with a warm embrace
and a fervent kiss, and though
there were not many words spoken on
either side, there was a light in the eyes
of both husband and wife which showed
that the understanding was perfect between
But I do think, nevertheless, that men's
wives ought to sew on their buttons.
A Warning to Dentists.
It has been abundantly demonstrated
that operations in the domain of the fifth
nerve, under chloroform narcosis, are peculiarly
dangerous. The reason is obvious.
The nucleus of the fifth and the nucleus
of thepneumogastric lie inclose juxtaposition,
and intimate reflex relations, if not
direct commissural connections, subsist
between them. The impressions made on
the end organ of the fifth, in tooth extraction,
exert a powerful stimulant effect
on tjae inhibitjv function of the
Such is the mechanism,
t is readily illustrated on a rabbit. If
placed in la Cz .'rmak's holder, and a
needle, having a paper flag attached to its
outer extremity, is thrust through the
walls of the chest into the muscular substance
of the rabbit's heart, the movements
of the paper flag will indicate the
heart's movements. Chloroform vapor
must be very cautiously administered,
and when insensibility is induced, and
any irritation, as drawing a tooth, is suddenly
applied to the jaw, the heart is immediately
stopped. The danger of tooth-drawing
under chloroform anaesthesia
being so pronounced and so readily explained,
we hold that no physician is justified
in encountering such risks. Philadelphia
Street Car Politeness.
A big stout washerwoman with a large
basket of freshly-ironed clothes got on a
Darby car last evening. The car was
crowded, every seat being occupied, j
After depositing her clothes basket near
the front door of the car, she turned
around and surveyed the situation. No
one offered her a seat Presently a young
woman, painted and powdered and dressed
in the most modern mode, entered the
car. In an instant four or five men
jumped up and offered the falsely fair
passenger their seats, one of which she
accepted. Then the other male passengers
resumed their seats leaving the
washerwoman still standing. A few
minutes later one of the gallant young
men got up to leave the car, having
reached his destination. When he got
up he offered the fat woman his seat.
She dropped solidly into the vacated
seat and screamed at him, "No thanks to
ye fur yer sate. If I'd been thirty years
younger and painted and shmeared all
over my face, I'd been offered a dozen
sates long ago." . The speech caused a
spontaneous burst of laughter from every
passenger in the car except the modern
young woman, who looked very much
annoyed and embarrassed. Philadelphia J
Contents of a party's kit for a four
days' deer hunt in Texas: One gallon of
whisky, three fried ducks, one quart of
co 'ktail, four loaves of bread, one bottle
ot wine, thre pounds of bacon, one
of whisky, two dozen of eggs, one jug
of wh sky, "sausage and ground coffee,
one pint of whisky, coffee pot. one demijohn
of whisky, cheese, sugar, pepper sauce,
tw j be ttlesot snake mediciue, one canteen
of whis -v, ten pounds of Irish potatoes,
one sn all keg of whisky, three lemons,
four pocket companions full of whisky ;
also some cigars and a coal oil can full "of
whisky, in case of accident to the glass
and stone ware packages. Texas Siftings.
FAEM AND HOUSEHOLD.
All stock should be well littered. It
not only keeps the animals more comfortable
but greatly enlarges the manure
pileaiid by-absorbing the liquid excrement,
equally increases its value.
Very good doughnuts are made of
one pint of sour milk, one cup of sugar,
two eggs, a piece of lard about the size
of an egg, a little salt, and a half-tea-spoonful
of baking-powder. Chicago
Bread crumbs: Perhaps all housekeepers
do not know how to prepare
bread crumbs for use. Pieces of bread
should be broken up small, and slowly
dried not browned in a cool oven,
then pounded or rolled till very fine.
The feet and legs of horses, says tha
New York Herald, require more caro
than the rest of the body. Tney must
not be allowed to stand in tilth and
moisture, and in grooming a horse the.
feet and legs must ue as thoroughly
brushed and cleaned as a coat. A little
oilcake meal mixed with the food wdi
give a glossiness to the skin, and have a
good effect on the health.
Nice puffs for dessert are made of
one pint of milk and cream, the whites
of four eggs, beaten to a stiff froth, one
cup of flour, finely sifted, one cup of
pulverized sugar, a little grated leinou
peel, and a pinch of salt; beat all together
until very light, and bake in znc
pans; when done sprinkle pulverized
sugar over them, and serve with sauce
flavored with lemon. Exchange.
For delicious orange jelly, which
does not require boiling, take four good-sized
oranges, grate the rind of two, and
use the juice and pulp of the other two,
and also the juice and pulp of two lemons;
take half a box of gelatine, and
soak it in half a pint of water, sweeten
to suit the taste, and put with the juice
of the fruit, and add two-thirds of a pint
of boiling water. Strain into molds.
A farmer writes to the Grange Visitor'.
"As soon as I find an animal in distress
from bloat, from eating wet grass
or clover, I wet it along the back with
cold well water, and also place a large
cloth or blanket of several thicknesses
over the paunch, after that all it will
absorb, and over that a dry blanket If
the cold water is properly applied, one
will not have to wait long for a cure."
Cattle, ripe and fat, weighing 1,800
pounds, bring the best price in the market
and are produced at the least cost
per pound. It is very littla trouble to
make a calf weigh 1,000 pounds at
twelve months, but the same feed or more
will not make a gain of more than 500
pounds the second year, and the third
still less. The animal that will arrive at
the right weight at the earliest age aud
yet be ripened so as to bring the best
price will be the most profitable to both
feeder and butcher, and this perfection is
what should be looked for in all meat-producing
breeds, whether cattle, sheep
or swine. Chicago Journal.
Turnips as a Farm Crop.
Very few of the farmers of this count
try appreciate the value of turnips as a
farm crop. Some chemists estimate them
to contain ninety-five per cent of water,
leaving only five per cent of flesh-forming
material; and out of this small part they
deduct a portion as woody fibre, only
good to help fill up the stomach of the
animal. I am not prepared to dispute
the correctness of this analysis, but I do
take issue with the conclusion
have no greater value as food than
may be indicated by the chemist's figures.
Turnips have possibly a mechanical value,
as they may aid in the digestion of more
concentrated food, such as corn meal,
when fed with it. Perhaps the fault is
to be found in the fact that the ninety-five
per cent of water is put down ?s
worthless. In the economy of nature
this very water may prove of more im-
than has been ascribed to it. I
ave found that raw turnips will not only
sustain life, but cause hogs to thrive
when fed nothing else. I do not mean
when fed a large quantity, but an amount
which according to the chemist's tables,
would be such a small per cent of the
actual food that starvation would be expected.
Sheep and cattle will fatten on
them, with very little hay. The credit
cannot be put down to the hay, but must
be oarried over to the turnips. If I
understand the British system of making
mutton, it is mainly, and sometimes entirely,
by the use of turnips. The sheep
ve confined by hurdles on the turnips,
where they help themselves, until the
crop within the inclosure is exhausted,
when they are moved to a fresh lot
Knowing the real value of turnips, and
I dw easily they may be converted into
's.eat, why should not the American
avail himself of the opportunity, and
not rely so exclusively upon corn. Every
farmer should have a turnip patch, the
larger the better. The crop can always
be made supplementry to another on the
farm, and is so much clear gain. Col
Curtis, in American Agriculturist.
A writer in Farm and Garden says:
"Despite the constant attention which is
called to the value of sheep, not only as
improvers of the land, but as profitable
farm animals for wool and mutton, there
are many farmers who never raised or
kept a single sheep, though their farms
are adapted to raising sheep largely and
profitably. Why this is we cannot imagine,
for facts and figures can be had by
the score to prove the profitableness of
sheep breeding, if necessary, and about
the only drawback, in many localities, is
the loss occasioned by dogs. Many a
rough, worn out or neglected farm might
be brought up rapidly and be made paying
land by breeding sheep thereon, as
the manure from the sheep is one of the
most enriching of manures, and is evenly
and finely distributed. Of course they
may not do this without being fed something
besides what they can get in the
fields, yet this additional food works to
the profit of breeders in two ways; it
not only insures a good and profitable
growth of flesh and wool, but it makes
the manure richer and more valuable.
Even poor farmers can give sheep a trial
by commencing in a small way, and
then, as means and experience arc gained,
the flocks can be gradually increased by
purchases, though the natural increase
from a small nock of sheep is by no
means inconsiderable, if properly managed
and cared for as they should be.
Like any other kind of stock, they must
have good care and food to secure the
greatest measure of profit"
JL Mechanical Piano-Player.
Professional musicians and pianists
have for several months been interested
in the progress made by an inventor of
this city, toward the completion of an
automaton which shall play upon the
piano with impression and brilliancy.
For years more or less unsuccessful attempts
have been made by different inventors
to perfect such an apparatus, the
result in the best of cases being unsatisfactory
for any purpose except dancing.
The device of passing over the keys or
pipe openings a sheet of paper so perforated
that at the right moment the perforations
allow a current of air to passs, and
work the key or allow the air to pass
through the organ pipe, has been widely
used. With organs this device was more
successful than with a piano; in the latter
case the element of touch was as important
as those of power and duration, and
the touch, tone, and power may be altered
so many times in a single run of a score
of notes that musicians have considered
an automatic pianist as beyoud the possibilities
of invention, although some
creditable attempts have been made;
but the "automatic pianos" in the market
play with mechanical effect which is
exasperating to cultivated ears. The new
invention aims at nothing less than the
exact reproduction of piano music as
played by famous virtuosi such as Rubin-stein
and Joseffy, reproducing its minutest
effects of delicate shading as well as
power and brilliancy. To say that this
has been accomplished will be received
with skepticism by all persons who know
anything about music, and, after a careful
study of what the automatic piano
actually does, it car not be said that it
has been accomplished. But much has
been done, and as the present defects in
the performance of the instrument are
possibly the result of imperfect mechanism
in the apparatus itself and in the
preparation of the sheet-music, the next
few years may witness the realization of
what has hitherto been deemed an impossibility
by musicians. "What seems
to be doubtful at present is whether the
apparatus can give individuality to the
ditferent notes of a chord.
A reporter of the Evening Post was
shown w the . new - . apparatus ... this - . morning. - ."-' 4
it is inclosed in a box which fits over theT
of any piano, and can be ad-!
justed or taken oil' again in a few mo-
ments. Nothing about the piano 1S
changed. The inventor knows nothing number on Mulberry street, that he had
of music, and it is only recently thatMr. a wife and three children. His wife
Floersheim, the composer and i fered with ague and his children were
ist, has arranged some music for it with Jsickly. He had been on a strike, he
proper expression. Two pieces are said, and after that could get no work,
played the most difficult parts of Liszt's ; His family were starving, and one day he
Hungarian rhapsody, and Brinley Rich-; had an opportunity to steal a watch. Ho
ards' arrangement of Rossini's "Cujus : did eo and had stolen two others since".
Animam." In the first place the rapid He began to think it was the onlv way
runs had been put in octaves, the machine
playing them with a brilliancy and
rapidity beyond the power of human
fingers to accomplish. It was evident
that any quality could be imparted to
any note, although the right quality had
not always been imparted to these pieces.
The inventor as yet refuses to disclose
the mechanism by which he accomplishes
his results. All that visitors are allowed
to see is a strip of paper, perforated with
small holes not much larger than the
head of a large pin, passing over a roller.
The strip of paper is twelve inches wide,
and the music it represents covers the
whole seven octaves of the Steinway up-
right piano to which it is attached
There is a metronomic attachment which
is set for each piece, giving the initial
rapidity, after which the time is regu
lated by the instrument. At present the J
power is supplied from small bellows,
worked by the feet, but the rapidity,
power, etc., of the music do not depend
upon the bellows, as is the case with
small organs. Ultimately the foot-power I
will be done away with, and the bellows
worked by water, electric or other power.
It will then be necessary only to put in
the music and set the music going.
The best pianists who have seen the
new invention praise it very highly.
Joseffy, after recovering his astonishment,
said: "Man cannot compete with
such machinery as that. We may compose,
but there is the player." Mr.
Floersheim told the reporter that it is
difficult, when one's back is turned, to
distinguish the playing of some passages
by the machine and the playing of some
passages by a good professional pianist.
Much remains to be done in the preparation
of the music, but enough has been
done to awaken great interest. The next
step will be the invention, already
claimed in Europe, of some method of
recording the exact value and quality of
each note as played. With such a
record it may be possible to prepare sheet
music to reproduce such playing. N. Y.
Linda Gilbert's Bnrglar.
It takes a great deal to astonish a bur-
glar. Shotguns have no terror for him,
and he is used to goblins, but he can't
stand the kind of a reception that Miss
Linda Gilbert afforded one of the fraternity
who entered her house on Saturday
night Most readers will remember Miss
Gilbert's long years of labor as a prison
reformer, and there is scarce a prison in
the land which does not bear some evidences
of her philanthropy. She had, on
this occasion an opportunity of practically
illustrating her doctrine that kindness
will do more for the correction of the
criminal classes than all the bolts and
bars and instruments of torture that have
ever been invented, and she improved the
Last Saturday night, between the hours
of twelve and one o'clock, Miss Gilbert
was aroused from her sleep by a noise at
her window. She occupies a sleeping
apartment on the second floor of her
house, No. 264 West Forty-third street,
and the large French windows, which
are cut to the level of the floor, open
upon the middle of the block. Directly
across the inter-lying yards, and fronting
on Forty-second street, is an Old Ladies'
Home, with which there is a connecting
alleyway from the street. Miss Gilbert
supposes that the man came in by the
alleyway, climbed over the high board
fence, and by means of another gotxupon
the roof of an outhouse, from which he
could easily reach the window of her
room. The outside blinds were closed,
though the window was raised from the
bottom, and it was the noise made by the
man when he thrust his hand through
the slats and opened the blinds that
startled Miss Gilbert from her slumbers.
The rest of the story can best be told,
perhaps, in her own language.
"When I awoke," she said, "and realized
what was happening, I thought al-
most with pleasure: 4Now I shall have a
chance of watching one of the black
sheep at his work.' He carefully lifted
the window-sash and stepped into my
room, crouching down a little and looking
stealthily toward the bed as he did
so. A light was burning dimly in the
next room, and, as the folding-doors were
open, I had every opportunity of watching
him. He did not seem to me to be
an experienced burglar, for he made too
much noise. He wore rubbers on hia
feet, but he had no tools or weapons with
him, so far as I could judge. The
dressing-case that one right behind
you is close to the window, you
fee, and he got down upon his knees in
iront of it, fumbled about the drawers a
moment, and then caught sight of my
watch lying on top: I wear no jewelry,
and the timepiece is about all he could
have found of value in the dressing-case.
I slid noiselessly out of bed, and just as his
hand fell upon the watch, my own hand
fell upon his shoulder. He drew back
in surprise and dropped the watch.
"'Hallo I I said, 'don't you know that
3'ou are robbing one of your friends?'
" 'No no,' he stammered, 'don't know
who you are.'
'"Well, I'm Linda Gilbert'
'"Are you?' he asked, looking me then
straight in the face. 'I have heard of
you, but you never saw me in prison. I
have never been in prison.' "
The reporter asked: "Weren't you
afraia of him, Miss Gilbert?"
"Noy why should I be?"
"Not a little bit.?"
"No; I'm not afraid of the worst man
in the world. He said to me: 'I must
go; I haven't taken anything." 'No,
you must not go,' I replied; 'you must
sit down a little while: I want to talk
with you.' He sat down as a child might
have done, and I declare he looked as
pleased as a child when I offered to talk
with him. I turned up the light and
took a good look at him. He was a tall,
thin man, with sandy hair; his clothes
were scanty and his hands looked like
those of a workingman. He seemed
sickly, and said he was threateged with
hemorrhage of the lungs. When he
coughed I pushed the cuspidor toward
him, and the next morning the chambermaid
told me there was blood in it. I
asked the man a erreat variety ox
tions. and he answered them all without
seeming evasion. He said his name was
Bobert White, that he lived at such a
.11 1 !! Til TT
he had or living. It had been his in
tention, he said, to steal enough to take
his family somewhere in the country.
He could not support them in
New York. My father occupied
the room underneath this, and a
brother of Mr. Theodore Thomas
was in the house. I was afraid of awakening
them, because my father is extremely
neivous and Mr. Thomas hates burglars
and would either have shot this one
or have had him arrestet. My secretary,
a lady, slept up stairs, and I called her.
We went to the kitchen and filled a
market basket with things to eat two
ducks that I had ordered for Sunday's
dinner, some vegetables, bread, and so
on. This basket I gave to the man,
together with a five-dollar bill and some
advice, and he went out by the front
door with a3 glad a face as one could
wish to see. When my father heard of
it next day he was so excited that he left
at once for our country house. I tried to
hunt up the man's family in Mulberry
street, but I couldn't find them. I pre
sume we mistook the the number he gave
us." . '
"And now," said Miss Gilbert, "I don't
know whether I am wise in telling the
story or not. Some will condemn me and
say that I am encouraging crime; but
others will see that I have discovered the
principle that ought to actuate the world
in its treatment of the criminal classes.
Most people are in favor of shooting burglars,
but I'm not. I have heard of
clergymen, even, who have shot burglars
when their houses were entered. As if,
when the Lord made Christians, He put
guns in their hands to kill sinners with.
Rich men who have been robbed will
have no mercy on the robbers, not a
moment's consideration for the causes
which have led them into crime, and no
thought for the only course that can ever
bring them back to honest lives
The only reason why the
very rich escape is that they are so well
protected. Jay Gould, when he lies
down-town, has an armed man beside
him; Mr. Vanderbilt the same, and the
Stewart marble mansion is always under
the eyes of detectives. I have heard
more threats made by criminals against
the few very rich than against all the
rest of the world, and there will be a
terrible reckoning some day unless the
very rich aveit it in time and by proper
methods. I wrote as much to Mr. Vanderbilt
to-day. I have spent all my small
fortune in the work of my Prison Reform
Society, and I told him that we were at
a standstill for want of money. 'Help
send some thousands of these poor creatures
t places where they can be' self-supporting,'
I wrote him,"'and the houses
and property and persons of rich men
will be safe.' "
And when Miss Gilbert bade the reporter
good-bye she added: "I don't
think I would have told you this 'ory if
I hadn't thought its publication might,
perhaps, save some burglar's life in the
future." AT. Y. Herald.
"Acute Americanitis" is the name
given by an English medical writer to a
disease said to beproduced in Englishmen
by visits to this country. According
to this harmless romancer the symptoms
developed by one of the sufferers
are that he is "thinner, taller, lank-jawed
and sallow, with a loss of weight
of thirty pounds." These difficulties
are supposed to show themselves after a
six weeks' residence in America, but,
subside rapidly after the unfortunate's
return to England.
A farmer on a New York railroad
managed not to pay his fare uniil the
train arrived opposite his farm house,
when the conductor put him off. As he
left the car he slapped the conductor on
the back and exclaimed: "By gosh, yoa
are the best fellow I ever saw. That ia
my house up there, and if you will stop
the next time you come round I will givt
you a drink of milk."