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Newspaper Page Text
NO IMMEDIATE DANGER.
Sandy Waysides (lending): "11 ore's a brand new microbe jest made its
??! ! nrarice.''
YawniriK Ycrgdson: "I3cn dcrc's no Immediate danger. We hover got
h?ttin tili it's secondhand."
_ ?Collier's Wei kly.
FiltlC.I Rl I.IIHl.
l'i prli lor?I am looking for a
man I citu irust.
Applicant- We'll b< t along tlien.
r t-ii years I've been looking for
a man I hut would trust nie.?JJoroit
tTncnsy Passenger t^w an ocean
steamship) s io sift til- v s sei lip
fri? hl folly
Distillled Steward ? The vessel,
in urn, is trying io : ? : n good ? sam?
ple to the Iih .-? !!??? Tit-Hits.
THE BARNYARD EXCITED.
Rooster: ''AVbo-?-o-o arc you?"
Chicks: "We. are spring chickens from the incubators."
"Charlie la n Iiis fool," n?acj Lad
?Irl In blue.
"When will yoiir engagement bo
' ";:< IV jiskt i the git-i in
Chicago* |3\ . nins Post;
The liiilii Iii mil Vllltmle.
I favor hualheya reform._
"J'iH IK'iMh ?!. I'll agree!
I'll gladly work for aiiy which
Does hot begin with inc.
A GENTLE HINT.
"WoulJ ye kindly assUt a poor man wlv a coppsr, sir? I'm that weak
un hungry I can aidly keep tue pup oii >n- ivgs."
?SJk,..iirt y-i^:;liif'i^f; f7?in" -Ally Stoper. .
HE DOES, TO BE SURE!
Ohl Chap: "Ali. there's good transparency there; What do you. mix your color with?
llislng Artist: "Bruins, sir?brains."
r>M Chap: ''Ah?calf's, i s'poso!*'
??Many it man," suhl Unele Ebon,
"nuikcs il<- mistake nli goln iiroun
lellin his trimhlcs \vhcn Ii.?tor
mlyi riisiii Iiis business."?Washing?
Miko'M ? Ii.ii,.,..
T. r nee?Molke, <-r ye lind (in dol?
lars in yor pocket, thai would yo
HH W Kl il ?
Mike Droonk, bogorra! ? lllch
Tin? Woo hm hi linir.
"llnsn't Wllloufe'liby Perkins pro
p,,.;.,| y,.( ?.
".\<>. inaminii; his approach work
Is all right, hui then he Bein herv
ous und fooalesi'VChicaso Iteo?rd.
YE MERRIE ANGLERS.
"'Ere! TMiH up, il'yccr, carn't yor?
Yer got a i>iio! Carn't ycr sec?
W'y, yer u-losin all Ihem gcntllos!"
want< v L-.i a-sw
Don't \ ? r know
Illull. \ *"
It hack. What
nllerin my lish i
they're worf a K
I: Miene ion* Rxcrclsc.
"Thai clairvoyant said thai f'ir Jl
she would toll ine liow to get lid of
"What di'l she shy?"
"She told irtc io go to Manila nnd
help chase the Filipinos."?Chicago
Iii.?. Pn-il i<-n tu<-n l.
"T sec," said the nffublc friend,
"Hi.ii you occasionally drop into
"No." nnswered the Inurento
fiercely; "i don't drop Into i.try.
I'm pushed int.. it by the govern?
u to siip Iiiiiin i.ike n.
"I Ihim^ln iii.it summier rosorl
ybil went in w.is :i ilcllghli'oi t'.ie
hat.I (ho lilliliette. "What fault had
yen tu Hud with it:"'
? Tie- only htimim* k th->y h.nl wo?
in tlio mos! i i i' le. n. iis pnn-i-' Tin
tie- grounds." Chicago Post.
OUT OF THE FRYING PAN.
hlpwrecked Monkeys; "Great ce
unuts! Luck al What's going td rescue ns from a watery grave'."
?New York Uve:..:ib' Journal.
mike's opinion". 1 YjVvY:"
Tat: "This is a great wathorin place." ' .
Mike: "Faith. It wouhln't be much of a watherin place !f it wasn't fer
_ ' " ' 1 ? * ? *? ? I i t ? i i - ?Nuggets.
ENOUGH TO GO EOUND.
Housewife: "How is it that your r Iis luve been gettlns smaller and
small. !? of late?"
Tlie Baker's Boy: ''You see, madam, wo have taken on three new cus*
tomcrs recently.'' . ?
_ ?Fliegende Blatter.
HINTS FOR NEW WHEELMEN.
Don't ri<!<' t o - ! so lo a bri w j-y
wagon oven a it doc? *i reuk tho
Wheeling on barrels? 'jjjg =
Is not the most comfortable thing
in the woiid.
.t ?New fork World?, ?fc