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THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOE. "SIX O'CLOCK AND STII/L ON THE FENCE." A i h hu Uv; I v! ntc Cfnob. She (after "yes" Ims been said)? What did you wish when you pulled the wishbone with me7 He?I wished that you would ac? cept inc. And you? She?Oh, J wished thmt you would propose.-ExchniiKe. "Willfully MlMcanMti-Hed. "She is n regular walking ency? clopedia." lie said, speaking of thn bright girl. "Oh, I think you are going a little too far," returned her dearest friend reprovingly, should hardly con? sider her so ungainly as that." A REAL COMFORT. Oom Paul: "Well, thank heaven, whatever may happen they won't Hobsonlzo nie!"?Chicago News. fniiK?. Poe Congratulation. Tow.inr?Whore's the gobbler? Bruno (mournfully)?Clone! Towaor (fervently)?Well, thnhk Mriur., Wienerwurst Is not a "Thanksgiving day dish.?New York Journal. Xnt Kn.idillons. "Nnp," said Woozy Pete, "I dunno as jf'in perticklor enuff to ask fer golden rules. Jest a few little old SI an $2 bank bills fresh from th' treasury vaults Is good enuff fer me."?Cleveland Plain Dealer. HOPE, SWEET HOPE. THE BITER BIT. Jllks detested thftt bore, Cadby, so one day ho got a special springy chair Just for his special benefit. "Sit down, old friend, and niako yourself at home," said Jilks. Cadby sat down, but didn't feel quite comfy. Ho also found Jllks' ceiling a. trlllo hard, but? THERE'S MANY A SLIP. 1. "Hurry up ana hit him, Mr. Johnslng, while I'll see that he don't Joy I jiiiimli. For nil o' the ftrlfea an troubles? For all o' the grief an wrong. There's joy enough In the country To keep us singln along! The past was a past of promise? There's failh in the future strong; There's joy enough In the country To keep us slngin along! The thorns are red in the reapin. But they're still where the roses throng; There's joy enough in tho country To keep us singin along! ?Atlanta Constitution. A Money Snver. "Mrs. Wlggs is the closest woman on the block." "What has she been doing?" "Why, she won't have her leaves raked up; she says they can be shoveled up with the first snow."? Detroit Free Press. A Mistake. "Young man, didn't I hear you kissing my daughter In the parlor a few minutes ago?" "No, inn'am. Yon heard your daughter kissing me." 2. "Get away!" ALL DEPENDS ON THE VIEWPOINT. "What! Your non cams a living?" -Yes, yea. But don't let it no ?ny further. It Isn't pleasant to have a prodigal son."-Meggendorfer Blatter? On tlio return Journey .lUKs' quiet little amllo changed its tone, mid Cndby roll somewhat avenged. Ally Sloper. Dnrlirr nnil llio Ilocr, Ho cursed the Hoers with nil his ?night. He hoped thnl they would foil. And blamed I hem as "u scurvy lot That ought to l)o In Juli!" Ho wanted Mr. Hull to so And "smite them hi|> and thigh," And "rip them up" and "lay them low" And "innkj their fenlhers fly." No wonder thnt ho raged and ronred; He was n barber, and He held a paper that was full Of portraits In his hand! He looked at each be whiskered Hoer They had depleted there? For every hairy one a roar Of hatred rent the nir. ?Chicago Times-Herald. As Uncle Jerry Sniv It. "Did you visit the Throgglnscs while you were in the city. Uncle Jerry?" "Yes, and they live In the durnd es*. house yon ever saw. They call It a Hat. Well, it may have been a flat wunst, but it stands right on edge now."?Exchange. lllgliily Knitted. City Nephew?Is that what you call a penknife? It looks more like n machete. Uncle Silas?Waal. It's the one I stick pips with, an If that uin't a penknife 1 don't know what is.? St. Louis Globe-Democrat. THE DAY WE CELEBRATE. A THANKSGIVING SURPRISE PARTY. ?New York World. Shorten of Turteey?. "Sntnt Gobble, why um 1 kept ovit of (ho heavonly rdost?" "Tho cook forgot to stngo you; Just stci) down to the other place for a minute, plense."?Exchange. Turkey Gosnlp. First Turkey Gobbler?I hear your, son had a terrible experience pn^ Thanksgiving day. Second Turkey Gobbler?Yes; ha -was all cut up by it.?Exchange. ; A TIMELY SKETCH. Boens do Brush: "There's n sample of high art." Friend: "Just tho thing for your dining room. Being a tough piece oi work. It will take your guests' minds off the turkey." An Annnynncc. I'm a reformer, bold and free, Yet, if the truth were told, Some folk there be who look on mo As Just a common scold. ?Washington Star. In Tnrkcy Heaven.' "F.race up. Gobble dear; they can ncvi-r serve you again." ?It isn't that?the host ato part o; m- with his knife."?New York; Journal. -. VERY APPARENT. "Ah bet nh kin guess what yous-2 t'wino ta hab fox. Y'^n^jjiy norI"~Ncw York Journal, . . -