MILD AND rflHVVACTUBSD BT ALLEN & GINTER1 The AarentCAJf Tobacco Co. f OUNDED IN tl THOMAS BRUNCH Banken and Br?l iioimaikst., Eiern? Transact a General BanWno - j dera executed oter thel^ P"^J**^ GO, YA. IprintB Wires [Foreign Exchange ketteis of Cudit Exchanges In! tonend Grain;! executed on 1 Continental L Business fe dance soil cha? ws nt Securities! THE GREAT 30th t>ay prodnces the abovo results tnl30 da powerfully and quickly. Cures whou all Vouu? men will rcnafu their lost mintio men will recover their youthful vlgoi BKVIVO. It quickly an.l surely rcstor noes. Lost Vitality. Ixnpotuucy. NlRhtly Lost Power, Falling Memory. Wastlua Dl all effects ot aolf-abuao or excess and In IST It acti ithers fall id, and old by using !b Norvoua Cra lesions, leases, and UsYsretloo. which nnflts one for study, business or ml^Aso. blll not only cures by starting at tho snat of d|errbriD(r ieaBTcat nervo tonic and blood bullolkBVinu ^ Idr back tho plnlt glow to nalo che??? j^mi,, ?torlnB tho Ore of youth. It words f>|viVO. no and Consumption. Insitt on havlnit KK1 ij7 m&u other. It can bo carried in vest pocSct.lh a poB|. 81.00 per package, or six for 86.00, win retana ttvo written Ruamntco to euro or the money. Circular free. Address J??0 ip. ?OVAL MEDICINE tu., o3 River St.. CHICT ? For Bale at Roanoke by Jobln,on Johnson and Oha?. Lyle Drug Or_ 'DO NT BE WOOZY. THE THATS Onco upon a tuuo an i'.* inent entered tho office of a gas company throw down the month's bill ho hud r coivod that day and shouted: "I never burned that gas I" '' But tho meter, sir?the meter makes no mistakes 1 However, I will summon hero tho secretary, who is a man of more fluency of speech than myself.'' "Why this kick, my dear sir?" kindly asked tho secretory as he appeared. '' Because of tho size of that bilL'' "But you must remomber that last month was a long quo. '1 "But I was away on a visit, and my honso was deserted. I did not even burn one foot of your infernal gas 1" " 'Tis passing strange," quoth the secretary. "I will summon hence our president, who hath the knack of un? raveling strange things.1' "Man, hath thy better senses loft thee?" severely asked tho president as he looked out upon the kicker. '' Hath news of war or tho excitement of poli? tics turned thy head?" "Not by a jugful! How could I burn your gas when my honse was shut up?" "Prithee, sir, no ouo says ydu bnrned the gas, and no one denies that your house was shut up. This bill is simply for the leakage which always takes place in a house when tho family is ab? sent 'Tis but a trifle, and if thou art inclined to raise a great row and"? "Ohl nol not no I I simply did not understand. It looked like highway rob? bery. Your explunution is not only sat? isfactory, but here is tho cash, ami.I beg w take pay th hod ?enf Freo Pros:? Why They Didn't There is a story of an English!? who, having been instituted -in his new office, went about tho parish to make acquaintance with his congregation. One day ho called on an honest farmer, who asked him how he liked Devon? shire. "Oh, I like it exceedingly," said the curate, "but I find it rather muddy, I notice, however,"ho continuod, point? ing to tho farmer's boot, which had a prodigiously thick sole, "that you tuko a very sensible prcv-aution to keep out of the wet'' "Well, you see, Mr. S-," said the farmer, "I havo a club foot. " The curate, who was the shiest and most sensitive of men, fled from tho house, so much was ho grieved over the unintentional cruelty of his speech. James Payn says ho always considered this story vory humorous, and onco told it in his "best manner" at a large din? ner party in a house where he had nev? er diued before. During the narration he received a violent kick under the ta? ble from hin next neighbor, but suppos? ing it to bo accidental went on talking. Tho talo was received in total silence, hope for my arose, with equal am glad to learn t with Intent talent born fool I"?Kato Flo" The sweet girl graduate trying in vain co find something she docs not know al? ready. ?Lif a Not Necessary. Husband?I really think you might have had that ball dress mado a little bit higher in tho neck, to say nothing of tho back Wife?I'll havo it changed if you wish, but this stuff costs $5 a yard. Husband?Um?well, never mind. Time to He. "And the new man"? began Jon "What of him?" snapped Mrs. Jones. "Well, I'm afraid tho feminine traits will go to him, tho conditions be re? versed, and"? "Jones, what do yon mean?" "Oh, that man will be embarrassed, bashful, ashamed in the presence of woman"? '' Good heavens! Ho ought to be nowf"?Cleveland Plain Dealer. SWEETHEART'S NOCTURNO. Aurlimlr cantabile. ARPAD LASZLO. , enS? , natural relief comes* feels new all ovi-.-^ Everybody needs take n-?^ and everyone Bhould take mons Liver Regulator. Be sure you got it. The is on the wrapper. J. H. Zellin & Co., Philadelphia. FINANCE AND COMMERCE. New York Htook Market. New York, Aug. i,?The share specu? lations to-day was fairly active, bnt very Irregular, although prices gen? erally show advances. More than one fifth of the business was done in sugar, and the bull clique by main force moved up the prloe H per cent, to 1%, but bad to absorb a great deal of stock to do it. Western Union was in good buying. The upward movement in. Missouri Pacific was based on the large' crop, received a slight chock because pro 11 s taking was Indulged in. The Grangers were less active than of late, moving within fractional limits and loBlng a small fraction on realizations, except Burlington, which Is unchanged from yesterday. Closing atocka were as follows: Atchlson, 15}$; Adams Express, H7%; Baltimore and Ohio, 64; Chesapeake and Ohio, 21%; Chicago, Burlington and Qulncy, 91%; Chicago Gas, 57%; 0. 0. C. and St. Louis, 4S%; Del. Lack a wanna and Western, 160%; Distillers and Cat? tle Feeders Co., all; Brie, 10%; Erie preferred, 34; Groat Northern pre* ferred, 127; Lake Shore, 150; Lead Trust, 34%; Louisville and Nashville, 62%; National Cordage, 2%; National Oordage preferred, 4%; N. J. Central, 103%; Norfolk and Western preferred, 14%; Northern Pacific preferred, 189?:; Northwestern, 101%; Northwestern pre? ferred, 145; N. Y. Central, 103; N.Y, and New England, 55%; Pacific Mail, 38%; Pullman Palaoe, 175; Beading, 17%; Rook Island, 79%; 8*. Paul, 71%; St. Paul and Omaha, 41%; Southern Pacific, 80; Sugar Hennery, 117; Union Paoiflo, 14; Western Union, 93%; General Electric, 36%; Southern, 14%; Southern preferred, 43%; Tobacco, 118; Tobacoo preferred, 111. Ohio?K