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The Wenatchee World
Published Dally Except Sunday by the
WORLD PUBLISHING CO., PROP.
N. ANIENT Editor
C. A. BRIGGS Business Mgr.
Entered aa second-class matter at the
Postoffice at Wenatchee,lWashington.
Main offlca--Buslneaa and Editorial,
COLUMBIA VALLEY BANK BUILDING
Farmers Phone 234
On* Year, by Mall, In Advanoe. - $5.00
Six Months, by Mall, In Advanoe. 2.50
Delivered by Carrier, per weak. - -1 0
WEDNESDAY. AUGUST 8. 1906
Pays an Elocutionist $5 to Give
Him Pointers About
PRACTICES IN THE ATTIC
Neighbors Think He Is Crazy and
Call Upon the Polke
[Copyright, 1900. by K. C Paicells ]
MR. BOWSER had smoked his
cigar and read the paper when
i he arose and said to Mrs.
"I shall be busy in the attic for the
next hour and do not wish to he dis
''You are not going to try and ride
that old bike around again, are you?"
"If 1 am. what of it?"
"Why. nothing, of course, but when
a man gets as heavy and logy as you
are he shouldn't think of fooling
around with bikes."
"Oh, I'm l?eavy and logy, am I? 1
have reached that stage where I am to
he looked upon as a haystack on
wheels? Thank you for your flattery,
"You know I didn't mean to hurt
your feelings. I just meant that you
are u«>t as spry as you used to be.
If you had tried roller skating twenty
years ago you would have made a suc
cess of It, hut now"—
• "(Jo ahead and say what you started
Jar Shook the Hoohf.
"Well, when you tried it one evening
a few weeks ago you came down with
such a jar that you shook the whole
house and was unconscious ten min
"During which time you took advan
tage of my helplessness to rob me of
P- S. 471 Farmers 212
f "FAWT ~M.\TL" 1
X-Ma i To lo«;a) points 11:26
.. . WenutWiee to Mpo '
a. in. | kaac Montana, 1 p. m
. Chicago itiwl mt. I
. ._. "OBIKNT.M. ~
■ t " • LIMITED' ia
1 Paul, chicaijo st.
j I-ouln, mid cant.
', '. I PIsKT .HOI!Nil ]
IKS . KXPRKHS !fc2s
I To Seattle, Port
p. v:. : land, Kverett, Bel | p. m.
I liiißhuin -
VI LIMITED «:r.
To Portland. Se
nonn i Httle. Kverett :md| p. in.
i Bejj Birbag <
Great Northern M. K. Co'a
S. & DAKOTA
Will sail Crotu .Seattle September i,
S. 8. MINNKSOTA,
For rates, folders ami full informa
tion, call on or address
A. A. PIPKK, Ant.. Wenatchee,
s. g YKftKEs, a. <;. p. a., ttaWie.
**I never robbed you!" indignantly
exclaimed Mrs. Bowser.
"Perhaps it was the eat. I counted
my money as soon as I came to and
found a two dollar bill missing. I am
not going to the attic for athletic exer
cise, however. I am walking to and
from the office these mornings, and
that is enough."
"Then why not sit here and talk?"
Mr. Bowser walked up and down for
five minutes before he replied. It was
evld; m thai he wanted to trust her.
but he was also afraid of her. Finally
"Professor Zangwiily was in the office
this afternoon, slid afler we had talk
ed for awhile he wanted to know why
I didn't go in and cultivate my voice
for public speaking and reading. He
said I had uo voice for song, but that
as a reader, lecturer or speaker 1
would make a great success. I have
often been asked to read and speak in
public, you know."
"And ron are going up to the attic
to cultivate it?"
lia»* 95 Fur Pulutrra.
"I am. For $5 he gave me certain
instructions to follow, and 1 am going
to_ follow them. The first thing, as we
"HAS IT COMB AT LAST, MA'AM?"
all know. Is to get proper enunciation."
"Why can't we have tbe Sylvesters
over and play a few games of cards?"
asked Mrs. Bowser as a sigh escaped
"Are the Sylvesters and a few games
of cards of more consequence than
your husband's voice?"
That silenced her, and after Mr.
Bowser had waited around for a spell
without receiving any answer he pass
ed upstairs and to the Barret. The cook
had gone to her room, but in the course
of ten minutes she came down looking
pale faced and wild eyed and asked of
"Has it come at last, ma'am?"
"What do you mean. Susan?"
"Has Mr. Bowser gone out of his
head and become dangerous?"
"Of course not."
"Then what's he doing upstairs go
iug'Ha. ha. in! Whoop! stoop! Soup!'
aad a hundred other words that there's
no sense to?"
"He's cultivating his voice so as to
make n reader and a speaker of him
What KrlKhbura Would Think.
"I never heard the likes, but it you
say it's so I must believe yon. Hark
to that, will yon! The neighbors will
think we are all being nutrdcreil!"
Mr. Bowser's voice had improved so
much in a ouarter of an hour that It
could be beard clear downstairs. Mrs.
Bowser took a glance from a trout
window anil saw that several people
had Stopped in front of the house.
Then she climbed to the attic to give
Mr. Bowser a word of caution. She
found him with coat, vest and collar
Off and the sweat standing out on his
forehead, and he erected her entrance
"Hip. hip. hip! Hop hip hop hip!
Ma ty! Ma-ry! Ma ry! Sain! Sam!
"Do you know that people are stop
ping In front of the house?" she asked.
"What for? Hip: Hop! Hip! Su
san! Su-san! Su-sau!"
"Your shooting makes them wonder
what is going on. Can't you lower
your voice a little?"
"Not by the fourteen horns of the
aeveu sacred bulls of India!" he shout
ed. "I am In my own house. 1 am
cultivating my own voice. If the g*»n
eral public doesn't like it they can
"But you haven't got to sbottt at the
top of your voice to cultivate it. have
People Atti'HeteU b.r \ul»«-.
"I have got to do just as the pro
fessor told me. I want a voice that
can t»e heard ail over a hall holding
10.000 people. Hi! Hi! Hi! Ho! Ho!
Mrs. Bowser went downstairs and
left him at it, and she saw from the
window that the number of people had
Increased to fifty. The sash was
raised, and she heard one man say:
"I tell you it's Bowser. He's boon
off his chump for two or three years
past, and he's dually become buggy.
He ought to be taken to an nsylnm to
"Why don't one of these boys go for
a pjih-euiun ?" queried auother. "If that
noise keeju £y ua one on the block will
get an hour's sleep tonight."
"Cosmo! Cosmo! Cosmo! Dick! Dick!
Dick! Dau! Dan! Dan!" came the voice
of Mr. Bowser just .as the bell rang,
and Mrs. Bowser answered it to find
a policeman ou the steps.
"How lo:ig has he been act ins this
way?" Whispered the officer as he
dodged Into the hall.
"Do you mean Mr. Bowse.':"
"Yes. or whoever that is roaring out
like a mad bull. Has the doctor seen
him and ordered him to the asylum
"A way! A way! A-way! Heave ho!
Heave ho! Heave ho!" shouted the voice
cultivator in the attic.
"It is Mr. Bowser, sir." said Mrs.
Bowser with all the dignity she could
call up. "and h«' is uot crazy."
"Then, mum. could 1 ask without
hurtin' your feelia'S how long he's been
on the spree?"
"He Is perfectly sober, sir."
"Then he must have rats after him.
You can see what a crowd has gath
ered, and that noise must stop or I
shall lose my Job. The word came to
the station house that five people were
being murdered by a lunatic."
"Very Well; you can go up."
The officer found his way to the attic.
Mr. Bowser was waving his arms and
bending his body and enunciating, but
after the officer had seized him and
given htm two shakes he dropped voice
culture and there was a contest of lan
guage lasting rive minutes. At the end
of that time the officer came down
stairs and smile<| :it Mrs. Bowser as
he opened the door to pass out and as
sure the people that there was no cause
for alarm. The whooping had stopped
for good atal they could go borne and
assure their families that no deed of
blood would occur. 'Hie crowd had
melted away when Mr. Bowser de
scended. He walked straight up to
Mrs. Bows** and hovered over her for
a long minute before he could speak.
Then his enunciation was perfect as
be said .
"Woman, this U your seventeenth at
tempt to assassinate me in the last
Bowiifr R>Mt>Mtn InifrfiTfnce.
"Yes?" she replied.
"You were hound and determined to
have my voice remain like the sounds
of an old tile drawn across a coal scut
tle, and you gathered that mob and
sent for the police."
"Tomorrow we separate — separate.
You consult your lawyer—l consult
mine. The dead line has beeu reached.
tJood night. Mrs. Bowser. I go to the
library to look over some papers."
Mrs. Bowser went to l>ed. aud two
hours later when he came upstairs she
heard him growl to himself:
•Hang Professor Zaugwllly! If he
comes into the otfiVe tomorrow I'll
punch his head." M. QUAD.
Oeeanay Tlnta Predominate la Wntta
Material*— *ew Llaeae.
All the white materials have a
creamy cast like the tint seen in old
lace. The newest linens are uubleach
Burnt straw of a much deeper shade
than that worn last season is seen
in the spring hats. They are trimmed
with big chaos of bhtek ribbon and
occasionally with wreaths of curious
dead colored flowers.
Embroidered buttons on lineu gowns
are often the only trimming on the se
verely tailored styles.
The nightdress fashioned on the lines
of the chemise is in vogue. The neck
HAMjSOMK. SLACK HAT.
is drawn up to the required size with
ribbon. The effect 1» decollete and
very becoming t<> a pretty throat or
A collar to have any pretensions to
smartness must. l>e one with the waist
or trimmed so as to leave that appear
A pretty sbade for summer will
be pink, which will be worn a groat
deal, and lobster, buff, crimp, cocoa,
biscuit, swansdown aud lemon. Aj
pure pink lightweight cloth suit made
with an Eton jacket will be appreciat
ed all summer.
Tne handsome hat illustrated is a
Gainsborough shape carried out in
black Neapolitan straw. About the
edge of tbe brlui Ik a handsome piece
iof fine Jet. The only other trimming
'on the hat la an enormous white oa
. trlch plums,
! How ahoot that phonograph? Still
j thirk you'd like to trade it for a roll
I top desk ? obj so iv a want ad.
Classified ads S cants a Una each In
sertion, minimum charge 10 cents.
Ross Brothers, Wagon Wore, Rubber
Tires a specialty. Band Sawing.
R. W. Cutt*—Practice in Federal
and State Courts. Phone Farmers 245
Ira ThomaF, suite l, W. T. Rarey
& Co's building.
O. G. Hall, Undertaker and Funer
al Director. Mrs.O.G. Hall, Lady Asst.
PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS.
Dr. Almeda J. MoCall Osteopathic
pbTsioiau, office over Wicster's ?tore.
Dr. D, W. King, office over Wen. Drag
06. Fmr's Phone, office »81, ns. 983.
Frank Culp, M. D. A. T. Hanpp
M. D., Griggs Block.
W. M. McCot, physician and sur
geon. Eills-Fnrde block. X ray w^rk
M. W. A. 6804
Meets every Wednesday at t»:S0 p m.
E W Thomas, V 0 R L Bartletr, clerk
NOLAN ANO SUHROEDKR. eoits to
order. Ladies and gentlemen's
clothing cleaned, repaired and press
cd. Opposite Wenatchee Dept. store.
WALLPAPER AND PAINTING
GO TO H. W. Rnssel for wall pap
er, paints and oil, painting paper
hanging and signs. tf
FOR SALE-City Lots
FOUR LOTS—IOO feet frontage in
block nine Great Nortnern plat for
1850. inqoire of r hhu V. Martin.
FOR SALE-WENATCH EE FRUIT LAND
half mil ;j from
Wenatchee 170 full beaiiog trees
wafer right 2 sores alafalfa balauoe
unimproved $4000, terms, A. J
Lint ill*. R F D 1
FOR SALE — ACRE TRACTS
WENATCHEE valley fruit ranches
large aud small A. J. fdo title.
Farmers phone 553, R. F. D. No. 1.
FOR SALE—acre tracts, five and ten
aore tract close in price* and terms
right, J. 8. Moooey and Co. tf
84 ACRES :i 1-2 miles from Malaga.
8 miles from Wenatoheee with wat
er righ r , 40 acres in alfalfa, IliS
fruit trees, good rich soil, small
home,bam, small traits, 14000.
G. A. Virtue 396 Boston Blook,
FOR SALE-Farm Land
'.i-20 ACRE* at $12 per acre, near Ki
ona and Prosser in Horse Heaven
country, all in wheat, 1-5 of crop
goes to bnyer. A ltiO acre homestead
relinquishment adjoining for ft'OO.
G. A. Virtue, :i0« Boston Block,
TO BOTH OLD AND NEW SUBSCRIBERS
THE DAILY WORLD
For the next 90 days, we will give one-halt" dozen
(6) best quality, highest grade, triple plate, Roger
Bros. $2.50 silver teaspoons with choice of four
beautiful designs, to everyone that will call at our
office and pay $5.00 cash for a year's subscription
to the Daily World. The regular retail price of
these spoons is $2,50.
Columbia and Okanogan
Effective on and after April 1, 1906
Leave Wenatchee daily .... 4:30 a.rr.
" Orondo daily 7:30 a.m.
" Entiat daily 7:30 a.m.
Chelan Falls daily .11 00 a.m.
" Paterons dnily 4:00 p.m.
Arrive Brewster daily 5:00 p.m.
Leave Brewster daily 4:00 a.m.
Paterons daily 4:20 a.in
" Chelan Falls daily .. 8.00 a.ni
" Entiat daily 9:30 a.m.
Orondodaily 10.00 a. m.
Arrive Wenatchee daily .. 12.00 m.
Steamer 'eaves Wenatchee for
BRIDGPORE Monday, Wednesday
and Friday mornings. Returning
leaves Bridgeport same night.
Ask for special folders regarding
Okanogan Irrigation project and Lake
T. A. DAVIES, Gen. Mgr
Well and properly done at most reasonable
'onable prices. Our business is grow,
ing rapidly because we try to earn
and more than earn every dollar you
pay us. Ring up.
EAGLE LIVERY &
TRANSFER CO. Inc.
At the St. Louis World's Fair
was awarded to our
Peach Blossom Flour.
In competition with the world's
bast flour we win.
Wenatchee Milling Co.
HENRY CRASS A. N*. CORBIN
CRASS 4. CORBIN
Special Attention to Probate Law
Office Over F. 4 M. Bank
C. F. S PR AG U E
Professional Funeral Director and
A graduate by years of practicaPex -
Farmers Phone 223 and 224
P. S. Phone 21 and 23
Wenetehee. Was ■
"Thiuk of your own faults the first
part of the night when yoc are awake,
and uf the faults of others rhe latter
part of the night when yoa ate
asleep."— Chinese Proverb.
Stop working for "half size wages.
—advertise for a rea l job!
Stop waiting until you have to ad
vertise—tiy it wlipn yoa ougnt to.