Newspaper Page Text
THE BURLINGTON FREE PRB33 AND TIMES; TlItJRSpAY APRIL 11, 1918. r.l? iveki-w r.trcc VT.12P3. tftf-ee rents . '.spy. If 'fT' t-r l niontUe. Il.tO pe AdvarMnrmentff und ispHntlon rf tva t hii offlc. 1M Collet otrxnt. ' Full nd ertlalnir tntei rnt on nppllmMon, , A'coun cvinnl tin opi"1 fnr Mhetlt Hon Put-nerlbsiii .fill oinn rami wttn -rder. Natina ntn iot entered until pay ment In r-cfd. n1 tl nipcrn ir stoppffl TO-.ntttnr.ee nt Inn rlk "f th rtiftrh ' tni-m matrhv rer-tMoran letter r ny pno- rtnstal ordr pnyaM o the mir-ltstjsrs. Th date whn tli uWrlptton nplrea s n the dK-lt)t f each pnpor. the ehago of whtrh to n mtenunt date re fim urtlpt fof iltnpc. Vn Hint ff'pt In nt MnNm tnustd. Ths. re ielp of tho psnor In nvilflelent rerotpt for tn (list h-.rrlpilon. . . . ... when a change of addr-m Is rM-i1, .twin the H and new addresses nho-ild tie elven. TKRMO Bl.flO a year In adTsnee. OMir By mntl M.M n rr In advance. RATE TN C'NADAt fAT.T. . , :.ni n year In artrnnte. tTOfRXY mt.oo n yiar In nflwneti puck rnnss association, rubtuhtrs, Burlington. Vt. BURLING TON, VT., AP1UL It 1918. WANTKD. Win rot want anytMvg. fdvertlM In tHe iw vnectnl column of thlf piper. Rome ! renins era offere-l there this week wnlch i "Mi py you 10 rasa arom, eo rnve mo, Till" pepof rtftq ltiore thnn SC.006 readore tvory d one ctm n word nil! 'reacb ,0 I itiem s)L VARM LABOR Through the Action of the federal gov ernratif. wtsit promises to bo a famine In .'arm taror i)M apparently been ixverted. The work of the United States employ mint service of the department of labor In bringing relief to conditions that until recently were the cause of grave con Hem. Scarcity of farm labor mar still be felt In some oecttor.s 'Where this Is the caee tUe greatest publicity should be Blven to the fact that the employment service stands ready at all time to co-operate with the farmer! In remedying the trouble. in wy community mifferlng from a .scarcity of farm labor, an application to your rural route carrier or your postmas ter will bring; a blank form that, when properly Oiled out and forwarded to Washington according to directions, will put that community in direct touch with the employment service. The heads of this service wish the country to know that to date the service has been able to sup ply labor to meet all calls, and hopes to be able to meet all future calls. Farmers needing help and unable to se cure It, should not hesitate to call upon this department, which was created pri marily for their relief. The government is urgent that no land in the United States lies Idle this year if It is possible to bring It under cultivation. To this end, farmers who, with the proper help, would be enabled to increase their acreage of crops, should avail themselves of the em ployment service and exert themselves to the utmost to produce bumper crops. WISE DIVISION OF WAR WORK. If German spies have in reality been tampering with the products of our aero plane factories, as lamely stated In gov ernment excuses for failure to bring about results at all commensurate with the time and vast amount of money ex pended, they may have butlded for us better than they knew. According to ad vices from Washington we are to have more real team work on the part of the allies in connection with the production of aeroplanes and other war necessities. Under the new arrangement Britain will make battleplanes in which the Brit ish, are acknowledged to be adept, while Americans turn out other products on which wo can work to better advantage. The Senate military affairs committee are at work on a statement, which Is ex pected to be made public, going Into tho entire production of war supplies, as de veloped from witnesses who have re cently appeared before it. One feature of the forthcoming report, It is said, will be the substantiation of re cent assertions in tho Senate that only one airplane had been shipped to the American army in France, while no more than thirty-seven as Senator New stated on the Senate floor would be in France by July 1 next. From General Squler, Mr. Coffln, and other aircraft experts the committee is understood to have been' Informed that arrangements have been perfected by which the manufacture of airplanes will be greatly speeded up within the next few weeks. But there is no assurance that America will have any appreciable equipment of airplanes in France until far toward the end of tho summer. Liberty motor machines, the commit tee wus Informed, are not to be used In battlo planes, but will be utilized Tvith heavy bombing planes and for those do ing photographic mil scouting work. The government, It is understood, has adopted the British Rolls-Royce engine alrpUie for battle purposes, and 8,000 of thete have been ordered for the Ameri can army. One point tho military affaire commit tee will bring out, It is reported, Is that the United States Is to turn out great numbers of bombing, scouting, and photo graphic planes for the allies, so the lat ter may devots themselves to building battlo planes. The committee's report Is to assume en encouraging tone, It Is understood, as to future production by the United States, not alone an to airplanes, but other war devices. The necessity for ships to trans port soldiers and iqulpment will be dwelt upon. As to artillery production, witnesses before the committee have sttted thnt rverythlng was being done to '.peed up facrles to the top nctch. But, as evi dencing the necessity for the utmost en deavor, it ,waa pointed out to the tin. mltteo that the British, in the present Herman drive, liavo lost tnrpe times as much heavy artillery ns the United States hao conBtPKtfd during tho entire period oC Us entry In the war. Machine cun manufacture is now pro gressing, the lOTimttieo Is In'ormoa su that a considerable output may be o. period within the next few months. Ihe light artillery program Is also seta to be "promising." All this Is u wise application of th long established principle of diversity of In dustries, !n which each unit does what It can best do or do to the best advan tase. Manifestly the production of war AilTRRfPA VfX TUP irTTIST TTMR SKIlTfiTTST.Y PAf!Irtff2 WAR Tho people of the United States spent tne nrst year after their entry in the European war in wasting opportunities for preparedness in vain hopes for early peace. We ought to have been warned by the experience of Britain, which, despite Kitchener's injunction to Briton at the outset to be prepared for three years of war, went on for two years in the belief that the defeat of Germany when the time came would be an easy matter. The British people to-day are paying the penalty on the western front of their unreasonable and ill founded hope of an unearned peace. The people of the United States are illustrating anew the force of the adage that it is always darkest just before the dawn. The philosophy of this figure applied to a national situation is that the people are not moved until things get so bad as to arouse popular indignation. Then the people be stir themselves and an era of improvement immediately begins to dawn. President Wilson has manifested gratifying evidences of waking up to the real seriousness of our situation not only in his utterances, but also in his executive acts. The appoint ment of a number of expert aids for Secretary of War Baker, who i3 now in Europe, promises to remedy a situation which was rapidly becoming impossible of prolongation. Charges that Secretary of War Baker and other govern ment officials had engaged in a campaign of wilful misrepre sentation as to the conditions of the nation's aero prepared ness in an effort to conceal from the public the failure of the department are contained in the report of a special committee of the Aeronautical Society of America. According to this report, not only has the secretary of war been guilty of making statements calculated to give other than an accurate impression of existing conditions, but he is charged in specific instances of making direct and wilful mis statements of fact. The charge is further made that to date the Liberty motor is not completed, that a large number of the accidents on Texas flying fields are avoidable and due to bad manage ment faulty machines and poor inspection. The further charge that there is "an aeronautical trust," which has a monopoly of government business, is contained in the address made by Frederick W. Barker, president of the society, who presided at the meeting. The report of the committee, appointed in August of last year, starts in by saying that "as time went on the committee saw with dismay the issuance of statements by the govern ment, which it wa3 compelled to regard as untrue. "A still more threatening feature of the situation ap peared to be the growing lack of coordination between the en gineering and the production departments, clearly indicating that neither realized the nature of the work which they had to do and the means by which success in such an undertaking could be accomplished. "As men familiar with the art and having information concerning the military use of aircraft, the committee was frankly horrified to find that American aviators, the flower of the youth of this country, might be sent up ultimately in inferior planes sent virtually to certain death." Picture the Germans contemplating this sort of situation in the department which was to make the air on the western front black with American aeroplanes in 1918, and then con sider the closing paragraph of President Wilson's eloquent and patriotic speech in Baltimore: "Germany has once more said that force, and force alone, shall decide whether justice and peace shall reign in the affairs of men, whether right as America conceives it shall determine the destinies of mankind. There is, therefore, but one re sponse possible from us: force, force to the utmost, force without stint or limit, the righteousness and triumphant force which shall make right the law of the world and cast every selfish dominion down in the dust." Substitute for the word "force" any one of the elements which go to make up a nation's ability to use force and you have the President's utterance reduced mathematically to its lowest terms. We would then have the President saying: "Germany has said once more that aeroplanes shall decide; there is, therefore, but one response: aeroplanes shall de cide," and so on. How empty would be such a threat in our present situation! Now suppose we substitute another weapon of force and picture the Kaiser as saying that guns shall decide the war, or that men shall decide the war, or that ships shall decide the war. By making any one of these substitutions or sub stituting all four men, guns, ships and aeroplanes for the general term of force, and we see how little we have accom plished during the last year in time for the present drive. Americans as a people have been forced by this same German drive on the western front, however, to realize as never before how little separates us from German victory and and how criminal has been our tardiness in throwing our whole resources into this struggle at once in order to make sure of the overcoming of Prussian frightfulness. American realization of the serious nature of the struggle immediately confronting us is demonstrated right now by the spontaneous and enthusiastic response throughout the United States to the appeal for an oversubscription to the third Liberty Loan. There never has been so prompt response in any other nation. The effect must still further increase the German regret that America had been forced into the war. We are at once moved by our realization of the serious nature of the couflict facing us to promise to throw 2,000,000 American troops into the field in Europe, instead of waiting for a long period of intensive training n this side of the At lantic. America did not win independence by holding the un trained colonists until a great army could be given thorough technical military training before sending them against the tried and disciplined troops of England. As soon as a body of men were ready for service in our Revolution they were put where they would do the most good. We are now complying with the mandates of the best military minds of the world by sending our troops to France where they will get at once the kind of training they will use and not something they will have to unlearn before being put into the field against the Prussians. We are speeding up the production of ships and guns and all sorts of munitions of war as well as the construction of aeroplanes. In view of the moral effects of the bombardment of Paris with a long distance weapon, it is gratifying to note that the American government is already at work on the pro duction of a number of huge guns of a type and power beyond anything previously conceived. According to the Philadelphia Ledger, there is being man ufactured in a great industrial plant located but a few miles from Philadelphia u super-cannon, which it is believed will solve for the allies many artillery problems along the western front. The cannon it has passed the experimental stage is being turned out in numbers and will be rushed to the front as fast as completed. This form of super-ordnance, it is said, will far surpass anything now in use on any western front, either by the enemy or by the allies. Special problems dealing with rail road transportation along these fronts have been solved in fitting out these movable projectors of "canned death" and there al?o has been special provision made for their use when removed from the tracks of railroads. We wiBh the first intelligence of that super-cannon of American manufacture might have been one of its projectiles Innding in a leading German city. That is the way the Huns announced their super-cannon. Now that the cat io out of tho bag, however, .there is nathing against our admiring it. These and other preparations for war fn the immediate' future on a great scale are gratifying evidence? that at last wo aie taking this work serio-j3ly in hand, and in a way that is most promising for decisive results. jccessltjer; ruu&t be speedad up In tho United Gtates to make good the tremen dous Ios.es of the Miles on the western front as, a result of the latest German drive. Premier Lloyd 'ieurge of Britain says the figures In connection with the alleged number of guns and prHoners taken and so on. Making all due allowances for Hun juggling with figures, the results show we must be ullve, If the GermanH are not to win the war while we nro get ting ready to put a great army tn the field In Fiance, VERMONT NOTES News Items of the State Gath ered Here and There. FOUND GROUND GLASS IN I'EAS. Tho family of tho Rev. Georgo A. Martin of St. Johnsbury havo experienced, and tasted, somo of tho diabolical tricks that are being perpetrated upon the Amorican people, having found ground glass in their split peas that had been cooked for table uso. The peas wero bought about a month ago and the dis covery was not mado until after they had been eaten by thrco of tho family. No distressing results followed and they did not consider It a very serious one, though it might have teen worse. MOTHER AND CHILDREN BURNED. As tho result of an explosion of kero sene, with which the woman was trying to coax her kitchen Are. a mother and two children nro dead and two other chlldrtn are seriously burned nt Sprlnp fleld. Mrs. Andry Maturewltch, a Russian, ! In nn effort to liven up tho fire In tho raiigJ that bIic might prepare dinner poured lieroseno from a can Into tho stovo. Tho flames spread to tho can which exploded In her hands, throwing the burn ing oil over her. Tho woman was Instantly ablaze from head to foot and four of her ftva llttlo children who wero In the room we.r9 terribly burned either In trying to aid their mother or from contact with the oil. Neighbors were attracted by the cries of agony but when they arrived all of the clothing was burned from the body of Mrs. Mnturevltch. They extinguished the flro In the chlldrens clothing. The woman and four of tho children, a girl nine and two boys, seven and five, and a baby girl, 13 months old, wero removed to the hos pital. The mother, nine-year-old girl and the baby died within an hour after reach ing tho hospital. Tho other two children are terribly burned but have a chanco of recovery. A baby five weeks, old escaped Injury. KICKED BY IIORSK. George Crawford of Derby Lino was seriously injured when kicked by a horse he was exercising. In somo way, Mr. Crawford got in rango of tho flying heels of the animal and was struck in tho face. His noso and jaw were broken in two places. COAL IN OTTAQUECHEE RIVER. Seven carloads of coal are in tho Ottaquechee river at North Hartland as the result of a derailment of a freight train on the Central Vermont railway early Sunday morning. The accident occurred at the north end of the bridge over the river and It probably was due to a broken truck. One car loaded with coal, which was In tho middle of the bridge, had to be tipped Into the river. The bridge was badly damaged, ties being broken. No one was hurt. HOLD HEARST ON THEFT CHARGE. Harold Hearst, former Putnam Houso bellboy at Bennington, brought back to Bennington several days ago from Camp Devens, has been held under bonds of 11,000 for appearance at county court In Juno on the charge, of the theft of Jewelry valued at 12.500 from tho wife of the pro prietor of the hotel, Mrs. P. C. Connell. TO REBUILD HOTEL BARDWELL. The Hotel Bardwell in Rutland, damaged by fire last Decembor, will be rebuilt. The plans call for tho reconstruction of tho building as it was before the Are. TO HAVE COMMUNITY SING. A community sing will be held at Brat tleboro In front of the auditorium on Thursday evening, under the direction of Frank M. Cram, director of music in the public schools. About BOO school chil dren will participate. Popular war songs and old-time favorites will he sung. NORWICH CENTENNIAL STAIRWAY. The centennial stairway Norwich Uni versity proposes to build and have com pleted in time for Its 100th anniversary in 1919 is well under way and will cost about $3,000. For many years It has been felt that an imposing entrance should be built. Only a small donation from each alumnus and friend of Norwich Is necessary to carry out tho project. GRANITE BLOCK KILLS MAN. Acillo Navltl, about 20 years old, was killed at tho granite shed of the Peerless Granite company at Barre Wednehilay, April 3, when a large granite base on which he was working toppled over and crushed him to the ground. The base was 10 by six by two feet. Navltl, was working on a staging cutting some letters In the stone when It tilted. The man jumped, but half of his body was caught under the stone. His back was broken. ACQUIT DANBY MAN OF BURGLARY Frank Howard of Danby, charged with the burglary of the summer camp of Hol land Hall last June, was acquitted in Rut land county court April 3. ANSWER RED CROSS CALL. Miss Alice Balrd and Miss Mary Will of Rutland, who recently enlisted for active Red Cross service, were guests of honor the evening before their de parture at a banquet given by their sister nurses graduated from the local hos pital. PRIZE WHEAT CONTEST. To stlmulato tho local production of wheat flour so as to supply In far greater proportion than at present the needs of residents of Rutland county, the Rut land County Farm Bureau has announced a prize wheat growing contest with cash prizes large enough to Interest tho beat agriculturists in tho vicinity. Senator Redfleld Proctor Is backing the project, and says that If there Is no mill In Rut land county next fall for grinding tho wheat Into flour, that ho would build one In Proctor. RUTLAND THEATRE SOLD Tho Shrine theatre building In Rut land was sold at nuctlon Saturday af ternoon, being bought by Charles H. Harrison, cashier of tho Clement Nat ional bank, for $36,150. The salo in cluded the contents of tho building. ELECTRICIANS TO VISIT LYNN The Vermont Eloctrlcal association will moot at Boston April 11 and 12, the nurnoso of tho Catherine outside of tho State being to enablo tho Ver- monters to accept an Invitation or mo Goneral Electric company to Inspect Its groat plant at Lynn. Mass. It Is expected that the party from this State who make the trip will number about 20. LAKE BOMOSEEN LOSES TROLLEY The Rutland Railroad, Light & Power company Is to discontinue Its branch trolley line from CaBtleton Corners to Lako Bomoseen, as a means of con seivatlon. It will not only discontinue tho service, but dismantle the road and remove tho rails, part ot which will bo used In repairing other tines and part cold. THIS AND THAT. Hid Armenlan-Syrlan fund In Rutland I over $903. Tlw open trtmt fishing season in Ver mont opens April 15. Albert S. Jones, u former granlto man ufacturer at Barro, la dead at Phoenix. Ariz. The Baptist Choral club gave a suc cessful cantata at nutland on Sunday evening, Tho Rutland high school Is preparing "All the Comforts of Home" for presenta tion April 16. I Horace R. Derby of Poultney has been employed for W years by tho Delawaro & i Hudson railroad. John C. Clark of Bennington has re fused a re-election as secretary of Mt. Anthony Lodge after 27 years service. George R. Brush, for two and a half years one of the managers of tho Hotel Bardwell In Rutland, has leased the Hotel Allen at Fair Haven. E. L. Kerr of Northfleld has received news of tho death of his brother, the Rev. Charles Kerr, In France. A Baptist minister, ho was serving In the Canadian army. After wearing a plaster cast for many months Miss Blanche O. LaValley, who injured her spine In a fall while hiking In Wilmington, Is expected to recover. Springfield is ngitatlng tho matter of a war chest fund. William M. Sanford, a prominent citi zen of Troy, N. Y., who died Thursday, was born In Bennington October It 1838. Harry A. Bartlett, 62, former grand secretary of the New England Order of Protection, died nt St. Johnsbury Fri day. John Dorst, a Polander of Springfield, was struck and run over by a freight train on the electrlo railroad and lost one foot. The sum of $540 was realized for St. Peter's Athletic association by the pre sentation of tho passion play, "The Upper Room," at Rutland during Holy Week. A service In memory of Grant Hill Cutler of Rutland, who died overseas, was held nt Trinity iChurch, Rutland, Sunday, In the presenco of a large gathering. Ocorge Miner, a native of Manchester, and a graduate of Norwich, Is dead In New York. For four years ho was on the staff of the late Gen. Levi G. Kings ley of Rutland. Only six out of 50 milk dealers In Rut land have taken out a license, with the result that there may be a radical reor ganization of the force of Rutland's milk distributors. ADVERTISING A STATE Vermont Before the Public Secretary of State Head of Publicity Bureau Not every State Is progressive enough to have a publicity bureau whose busi ness It is to keep the State before the public, particularly the outside public. Vermont Is doing that very thing, and It is doing it in a way to attract a great deal of attention. The head of the pub licity bureau Is the secretary of state. Thus the bureau is just as much a depart ment of the government as any other department. The present secretary of state, Frederick G. Fleetwood, is actually conducting an advertising campaign In many of the leading periodicals.- Theso advertisements are Intended to attract the attention of people who may have It In their minds to buy summer homes in the country. Consequently, the bureau is out to exploit Vermont as a real proper place in which to spend the sum mer. In that the bureau is dead right! Vermont Is an Ideal spot In which to recreate and to find rest and genuine en joyment. Vermont's Initiative in advertising it self Is something that deserves com mendation. It Is a pity that all the other New England States do not follow the leadership of Vermont and get into' tho game of advertising their manifold advantages. The other States should have publicity bureaus Just as snappy and wide-awake as Vermont's bureau. Ver mont Is not more scenic and picturesque than any other New England State. New Hampshire, for instance, has more scen ery to the square mllo than nny other State this side of Co'ornil'i. Maine rep resents a vast aica of lukrs, mountains, forests and sea coasts tn frame Its won 'leu'ful iiRrli'iiltural possibilities. Tho three m thcrn New England States, while not so well favored by command ing mountains and e::p:inslve lakes and muling forests of spruce, pine and fir, nevertheless has liU'op:; awaiting buyers of bungalow sltrs, and certainly they have seaconst are.ix of no mean propor tions. Were the tuith known New Englnnd has nil the natural advantages of a slimmer play ground for all the people east of the Alleghanies. Though a great many people havo availed themselves of these advantages, much might be done to attract a great many more. Vermont knows It, and Vermont is out with a real live publicity department to let outsiders know that Vermont waatn them to come up and look her over. The State itself Is back of a movement to boom Ver mont and to make people realize that they ought to come there. Advertising the advantages of a State Is a business proposition, and mighty good business, too. Tho city that repre sents the greatest hustle to attract new industries In the city that Is both alive and growing. Vermont Is out to create more business within Its borders, and it will do It because Vermont isn't asleep. The greater the number of people of wealth and Influence who come to Vcr mon to spend their summers, the greater will bo the business transacted In Ver mont. Every interest represented in tho State will be benefited. Unfortunately, a great many farmers do not favor colonies of city people, but the coming of city people invariably enhance real estate values and Improve busi ness conditions generally. It would bo difficult to find a -single In stance whero this has not been true. Very few agencies have done more to Increase rural real estate values In New England than tho migration countryward of city people. The migration cityward of rural people depressed farm values more than any other single agency. When people begin to get out of a com munity land values go down, when other people begin to come In land values go up. Every New England State has suf fered enormous losses In wealth by rea son of the migration of the rural popu lation, and Vermont has had Its share of the losses. Vermont Is out to recoup the losses that have been going on dur ing the past 50 years or more. Vermont has the "goods" and It means to find the buyers. The same sort of "goods" are present all over New England, and the State that does the most barking Is the State that will market Its "goods" first. DON'T LET IT LINGER. A cough that "hangs on" wears down the sufferer, leaving him unable to ward off "Ickness. Jos. Giliard, 1 Fillmore St.. Nashville, Tenn., writes: "I was suffer ng with a. dry hacking cough and a pain in my chest, but since taking Foley's Honey and Tar Compound I have been relieved." n soothes, heals and cures. Sold by J. w. O'Sulllvan. SO Church St. AdV. CONTRAST. Tommy-Aw. ma, I told you not to make me take a bath. Look how plain that hoU) In my stocking shows now. Bostor. Transcript. VBISB PRESS! WANT ADS. PAY BEST. SUPPORT Save, Save, Save and if you must have a part of your savings where it can be readily drawn upon in case of emergency deposit in The Burlington Savings Bank That the Bank May Buy Liberty Bonds- COME ONE- COME ALL The "DRIVE" for the THIRD LIBERTY LOAN is on. DO YOUR BIT and make the "ROUNDUP" possible at an early date. We will receive your sub scription. BURLINGTON TRUST GO. City Hall Square (north) Third Liberty Loan We will attend to your Government Plan $1 a $2 a $10 a $20 a Pay In full or 5 per cent, with application. 20 May 28. 191S 36 July IS, 1918 Aug. 16, 1913 Write or call at the Winooski Savings Bank 49 vears in successful business. No. 11 Winooski Block. LENDING THEIR BEST CUSTOMERS The proceeds of the Liberty Loan, including the greater part of that loaned to our Allies, are being spent for American products the products of our factories, our farms, our mines, and other industries. In lending to, the United States the people of the United States are lending to their best and largest customer and obtaining the safest investment In the world. Buy Liberty Bonds. HOME SAVINGS BANK iffi C. W. Brownell, Pres. E. II. Tafl. Vlce-Prrslilrnt. V. S. BrowaeU. Treas. THE STORY TELLER. FOR PROTECTION. A country Minister was driving a spir ited hoTse through the vlllare. when he over took the local physlcUi i on foot. "Jump in. Doctor!" ho said, vulllng up. "I've got a horse here that goes pretty well." The Doctor Jumpe-1 In and the parson drove off. The hoie did not go well and ended In tipping over the car riage and spilling both -the occupants. The Doctor Jumped to his feet and felt himself all over to see If he was Injured. "Look here," exclaimed the Doctor, "what do you mean by inviting me to ride behind a horse like that?" "Well, you ree," gasped the parson, "luckily this time there's no bones broken, but I always like to have a Doctor with me when I drive that horse'." Chicago News. NOT HIS FAULT. The squad of recruits was particularly dense and the sergeant got more and more exasperated of telling his right hand from his left. Said the sergeant at last. "Now yer bloomln' Idiot, hold yer hands In front of yer. Twist them on over the other. STOP! Now tell me which Is yer left and hand and which is yer right." The recruit looked blankly at his hands for a moment. I'm blowed if I know," he said; " you have gone and mixed them up." Every body's Magazine. FOR VALUE RECEIVED. A young couple .went to a minister's house to get married. After the ceremony the bridegroom drew the clergyman aside and said In a whisper. "I'm sorry I have no money to pay your fee, but If you'll take me down Into the cellar I'll show you how to fix your gas meter so that It won't register," Argonaut. THE STOWAWAY? A New York bride and groom began f.helr honeymoon by making a trip to one of our southern ports by a coast wise steamer. The younn woman, who took a lively Interest In the passengers said one day to her husband: "Did you notice the great appetite of that stout man opposite us nt dinner?" "Yes," said her husband. "He must be what they call a stowaway." Harper's Magaxtne. HIS MATCH. An officer of the reserve was tired after a hard day's work, and thought he would like a cocktail, which he ordered. Then he bethought himself of the breach of discipline Involved In serving a drink to a man In uniform. Pretty soon the darky returned with the cocktail neatly "dolled up" In a cup surrounded by cracked Ice, as orange Juice is served. The officer looked sternly at the darky and asked him If he did not know better than to serve a drink to an officer In uniform. "Is you an officer, salt?" said the darky. Innocence oozing from every pore of his face. "Fo' de Lawd, I thought you was one of dem Bousa's Band." Outlook. CHITTENDEN COUNTY TRUST COMPANY, BURLINGTON Buy Liberty Bonds ' and Help Win the War. B. J. BOOTH. PreaMeat. B. D. WOKTHKJV. Treaewe. THE GOV'T Buy Liberty Bonds subscription freo of expense. Our Plan for Payment week for 49 weeks buy a.... $50 bond' week for 49 weeks buys a ..$100 bond. week for 49 weeks buys a ..$600 bond' week for 49 weeks buys a ..$1,000 bondj bank for Information. Winooski. Vt,", OUR KALEIDOSCOPE. BUY A BOND. In No Man's Land, on the fields of France Our lioyn nvc playing the game. Ami now your country gives you the chance To show that you're doing the same., It may he fun to punish the Hun, But it takes a lot more will. For it can't be done with a worn-out gun An empty shell won't kill. You'll never forget and you'll ever regret If this chance you let pass by To take a share tn your country's debt That Liberty may not die. MOTHER GOOSE IN 19U. The queen of hearts, She made some tarts, , The crust was hard and dry. ' For she 'lowed oil V The tarts would spoil And lard was too blamed high. Portland Press. SOMETHING MISSING. "So your soldier brother wrote that he was rather disappointed In the French girls!" k "Yes; Rob sort of expected them ta come upon the scene In dancing and sing ings groupB, as he'd seen them In comlo opera." Boston Transcript. HIS BAD BREAK. "And when I'm old," the rich bride sighed 'Oh, will you love me true?" The absent-minded groom replied, "Oh, yes, Indeed I do." Boston Transcript. A BOVINE HOARDER. "It doesn't seem right," said the -nan with worn-out shoes. "What doesn't seem right?" "That a mere cow can afford to wear alt that leather." Washington Star. A TIMELY HINT. "Ethel," satd her mother, "have yu been at my preserves again?" Ethel'at once became very busy arranging her doll's hair. "Mother," she replied, "when you were a little girl didn't grandma teach you, same's you have me, not te be "qulsitlve?" Rochester Post Express, HELPS THE LABOR CRISIS. "So you approve of the government'! action In taking over the railroads." "Yep," replied Mr. Orowcher, "I ap prove of that and prohibition for several reasons, one of them being that now a lot of people can quit lecturing on the sub ject and go to work." Washington Star. THREE'S A CROWD. Rookie There's a young lady wants to entertain a soldier from this camp every Tuesday night, sir. She says she will serve cake and hot chocolate, and will sing and all that. Shall I go? Sergeant-No. 'What's her address Boston Transcript. JOHN X FLTjrW. YftwPreeMes Hinn V. RAU Asst. Treaaare HELP YOUR I COUNTRY WIN I BUY A I LIBERTY BOND I Our Service B I free. I