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THE WASTE OF IT.
1 " V
VoM.,From Below (to girl from
$J "No. ma'amt I'va poured in
THE SERPENTINE SMOKER.
ESI S S'fe
1 1 hr
kse yor balitva I" premonitions i
M Muru not."
ApH, vr tinea we hooked dia
eth tf would rappon.
lf"' (( rMnd)i "Did I break
"Oh. yes. Fifteen ereaksste,
I 'Vr&;V.'r iie
the country)! "la the bath ready yett"
about fifty canfula, but the bottom lan't
four fractures sd one esjeueolee (
Blue Cyad Babiss.
It la a pity that all babies born with
the prospect of being adopted out of
an orphan aajlum are not blessed
With bluo eyes. Most persona who
wish to adopt children show a prefer
ence for the blue eyed variety.
"They seem to think." aM the ma
tron of one such Institution, "that blue
yes give promise of great Intelligence,
fconesty and general stability of char
acter. That la pretty hard on the
youngsters with eyef,Af brawn, black,
(ray or hazel. Undoubtedly those chil
dren will grow up to be Juat as i orthy
citizens aa the bin eyed tots, but It U
Impossible to make most of the pro
spective parents-ln-lsw bellce so.
They have been InCneneed by the ar
guments of certain half baked scien
tific writers who claim that all the vir
tues are found In blue eyes, and the
dark eyed children, no matter what
their parentage, suffer from the dis
crimination." New York fun.
The Old Warming Pan.
"Tee, that Is a fine specimen of the
old brass warming pan," sold nn ama
teur collector of antique, quoted by
the Philadelphia Record, "but It hangs
on the wall from this time on. It will
not be brought Into requisition for ac
tual warming purposes again. It s too
good." Then he added contomplntive
ly: "My daughter thought It would re
new the ancient flavor of thing to put
that warming pan to use. So on one
of the coldest nights of the winter she
Oiled the pan end with lire coals, abut
the lid and put the pan Into one of the
beds. In a little while the houo was
filled with smoke, which, on being
traced to Its origin, was found to come
from the bed. which wm afire With
a few oMen time wood ember thone
warming pans were all rtght, but with
live anthracite they simply ovenln the
Job. TVe put out the nre, but, as I ray,
from this time on the warming pun
hangs on the wmll empty."
Bren old Pllng wrote of "pisewerk,"
pronounced "pee-eay-work." It waa
suggested by the building processes of
the ants, and the durable walls made
according to those wonderful archi
tects of the Insect tribe were called '
formade." The method was well
known to the ancients, and t ome of the
oldest bouses In the world today are ef
this construction. Rondcict writes of
f bateau lo the department of Al.i.
France, which be repaired In 1704: "It
was at least l.V) years old. and ti e
walls bad acq aired a hardness anl
rompactneM equal to ordinary stone.
that la enlarging the window and oth
er apertures the workmea used the
same tools as In a qnarry." Pie is
simply kneaded earth. What Is Mexi
can adobe) New York Trees.
Tie old generation of rialloway
lairds were primitive and hoepita
tie rare, but their conviviality some
time le.1 to awkwsrd occurrences. - u
former days, when roads were bad and ,
wheeled vehicles almost unkuown. an
old laird wa returning from a aupner
psrty with his lady mounted behind '
hint on horseback, (hi rmssirg the I
river I rr at n ford at a paint where It I
Joins the sea tie old lady dropped off.
but waa not mlseed until her busbaod j
reached his do-, when, of course, '
The srod man prolongs bis life. T ;
be able tt enjoy oca's past Lie Is t
tvo twice.MartL j
MISS .HABELLE OILMAN.
A Hypothetical Question.
"Miss de Smythe." began the young
man. "I want to ask you a hypothetical
The girl nodded assent.
"If a young man of good family and
sound health aud an nsiurfd Income
of STslXK) were to meet the most charm
In of girls and feed her ice crcnin for
a year: If she had a complexion like a
rose, hair a crown of golden glory, the
hnnd of a fairy, the bearing of a
queen; If the knew how uot to play tho
pinno, was versed lu cooking, compe
teut to superintend a home, and If the
young man, auspiciously catching the
young girl alone, were to murmur Into
her ear of pearl, 'Will you marry me J'
what. In your eMiiuation, mould be ber
condition of mind and what her an
swer?" "Wnlle not an expert alienist." re
ponded the girl coyly, "I think she'd
bcllero him a chump for being so slow,
but fbe'd say 'Yes.' "
With the preliminaries thus settled,
the naming of the day was a simple
Btts Faitar Than Pigaona.
It is not geuerally known thnt beea
are swifter In fliKbt tlum piceons that
l. for short distances. Some yenrs ago a
pigeon fancier of Hanime, Westphalia,
laid a wager that a div.n bees liberat
ed three mi ics from tlieir hive would
reach home In less tin e than a dozeu
pigeons. The competitors were given
w-iug at Rybeni. a Tillage nearly a
league from Hanime, aul the first bee
reached the hive a quart, r of a minute
In advance of the first y ceon. Three
other liees reached the u ! before the
seeond plceon. The be s were also
slightly hHiidicapped. h tig been roll
ed in Hour N-fore startin; f.r purpose
Sergeant Major-Xow. tf-.ea. young
fel'or. what blithering Idiot ti'd you to
spread all th's litter In froJt of the
orTeers' quarters. -a?
rtiliU Trlvsie--fbe enlore
Sergeant Ma r -An" who :n:gnt you
te. may I a-V. In call ti e o)noel
blither. pg Idiot ?-(ss lis J.vtrnaL
To Keo Onosef.
Flew csn a rosa learn t know Mm
seif ? r.j reflection never, only ty ac- j
tl n In the rressvre In which thon
e.fket ta !n thy duty shs!t ttwn know ;
wl.At Is In tlee. But what is thy duty ;
The demon J of the bnir. tloelbe.
"Iv j ru think you rouKI be -omforr-
ble on H.0u a yvr?"
"Yrs. I bHssve eoukl it the people
set door hsda't more than I.Vst a
year sod my wlfo knew !t."-4"hlcogn
The create! p let are Is the pewer t
"Ginger" ef West Paint
The man who graduated at th foot
of the class that year (18Kn had been
six years at the Point and had Just
squeezed through at last Harold 8.
Borland, commonly known as Ginger
on account of his balr being the exact
color of ground ginger. Borland had
distinguished himself while reciting to
Captain Benton In ordnance by a re
markable auswer to the qneatlon, "Mr,'
Borland, how mrny pieces will a
twelve inch sbelt burst Into?" the av
erage number having been determined
well by experiment. Ginger threw hit
eyca. uaexpressive, but very blue, on
the floor and deliberated awhile. Then
slowly lifting tbem to a point near the
celling over Captain Benton's head,
still deeply rufiecttn, be finally re
sponded, "Not lesa than two." Gen
oral Mortis Scbaff In Atlantic.
Force Exartad by the Heart,
The force exerted by the heart ecjnah)
130 tons lifted one foot In other
words, the wort" of the besrt Is equiv
alent to raising Its own weight 90,000
feet In one hour. A strong man caa
raise himself but 1.000 feet In an hour.
This enormous force. If exerted by the
heart through a fixed rigid pipe, would
shoot the blood along with each Jerk
at a rate of 2il feet second. How
ever, the arteries, bolog elastic, are'
distended by the Jerk or beat of the
heart, and when the heart pauses after
the teat the contraction of the arteries
ends the blcjd along In a steady non
Intermittent flow, which average!
about oue foot a ees-oud. ,
In the early days of the rtatje.
Prussian war the nmperor Will .am
was In the habit of sending telegrams
of a somewhat religious character to
the queen. The late Coventry Tat.
more, the Eng'ish pct. hit this oT la
the following skit:
T'v will dlvln. my ilesr Aajsta.
V'f irnnr-t a h;t!e-sorh a. buster!
T-n thnrsanit FYnchnin M bolow.
Trsiao Uot from wtuvn s.i bislnt flow.
Why Ho 0aHid.
Mrs. Shortcoramons-- Mivesotre more j
of the lamb. Mr. Wtenbsm. Mr. Wis- i
euham -No. I can't bear to eat It. It !
wa someVviy a pet lan.b ones. Vrv
Phortonnmous- Hoir cio you kcow?
Mr. W'.senham - I.-ane they must
hare va.ted years anil years before
they had the bart to V'. it CleroisnJ
"I say. father." queried little John
ny, "what's a diplomat?"
"A diplomat, my an." replied the cH
ir.sn. "Is a persn ho doesn't mesn
what he means otters to tfclnk be
Marlon-1 showd psps those vrrses
you wTe me. and be cn-el pleased.
nr7-H did? Marion Yes fie said i
be s ii so glad to see j J were not a
Carsnne Would you 1 V to own
reipnr. M:as Ceoelta? C'eha fb. Mr.
Car-ae. tbia Is so sl lenl-Tonng'e
Frar Bsle There's sontethleg
werrc stlta the cfee I-ardlag Mistress-Yes.
IVa like ;ou-sliw ben;
( T i , 7
1 ' ' ' ' ' -' - ."' ii'''1' -n'l'iia
Mr. Beremt-Wth aeksd me to aing and Inalatad upon eneore after enooen"
Misa Psport .4Yos she told mo afterward, that anything waa bettor ' than,
sitting there and talking to ou all the evontntf.'
HIS ANCESTRAL TREE.'
"Ytitsrday I waa looking up my ancestral trst" t
Did they throw any nutsf . ?
The Carr-t: "Will. I didn't
"That sgn iray to all right, but I
that wooes thrm baota."
V 1 tyiSl . I
I ; "If - 1
ootics eatama that is ni
... - -
svoald hats to wash It foiltr'a st.-ckia'g