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SOUTHERN STANDARD MCMINNVILLE. TENNESSEE. SATURDAY, AUGUST i, 1891.
One time when ve'n ut auuty'a house
'Way in the country wheie
They's ist but woods, uu' pigs tuid cows,
An' all out doors an' air!
An' orchard swing, an' churry trees,
An' cliurries iu 'em! Yes, an' thee
Here red head hirds steal all they please
Au tetch 'em e( you dun-!
Vy wunst, one time when we wtu there
We et out on the porch!
W'ite where the cellar door n shut
The table vu.; an' I
Let aunty set by me an' cut
My wittles up an' pie
Tuz awful funuy! I could see
The read-heads in the ehurry tree;
An' bee hives, where you got to be
So keerit'lgoiu' by i ,
An' company there au' all! and we
We et out on tne porch!
An' I ist et p'surves an' things
'At nia don't Mow me to
An' chickun gizzards (don't like wings
Like parunts does, do you?)
An' all the time the wind blowed there
An' I could feel it in my hair.
An' it smell clover ever'whert?
An' a old red-head flew
Purt' nigh wite over my high chair,
When we et out on the porch!
James Whitcomb Riley.
A WAYSIDE COMBAT.
BY OPIE P. READ.
The year 1876 was a notable era in
America, being the birth period of
two great events, the opening of the
Centennial and the starting and sus
pension of the Evening Mail at Nash
ville, Tenn. The world may not re
gard the"birth and death of that news
paper as in the least historical, but
do, and the world must not deny my
right to hold certain opinions. Ten
newspaper men or rather, ten
"journalists" including myself, put
in all the money they could borrow
and brought out the first number of
that fearless newspaper, and until a
number of notes fell due, it showed
many signs of prosperity. Aside
from its financial condition, there
was but one trouble: Nearly every
man wanted to sit in the office and
write editorials. 1 remember that
one afternoon we had twenty-columns
of editorial and the "write-up" of
brewery. Well, after we spent all
the money we had and a large sum
that we didn't have, the unlettered
agent of a court came around and
said that we had been worrying
great deal of late we might go away
somewhere, it made no difference to
him, and rest. I didn't know wheth
er the other "journalists" went, but
an editorial writer named Bud Dillon
and I started in the presumable di
rection of Memphis, a city nearly 300
miles distant. We had no particular
business in that town, but as we had
no money, we resolved to go thither
and start another newspaper.
THE I.OXO FELLOW SPREADS HIS
i snap describe union as he was
then. lie may have changed since,
I hope so. lie va? a short man
with bench legs, and usually wore
"wrong font" shoes, one Roman and
the other italic. He had served in
the Confederate army, and had come
out with a pair of home-knit socks
and an appetite whetted keen by ex
posure. When sober he was.a grace
ful, and when drunk a disgracefu
writer. Some of his works had at
tracted attention, and his "write up'
of a dance hall and beer pavilion was
highly spoken of by the proprietor
He had a sort of saddle-skirt com
plexion, with the exception of his
nose, which was exceedingly red
and, when at its best, shed an efful
gence over his entire countenance,
lie had no hair to speak of, except in
the past tense, and his mouth, when
not engaged, looKed use a severe
gash and partly healed. His dispo
sition, under ordinary conditions
was blithe, but he had so keen a sense
of injustice, when practiced upon
himself, he sometimes sought re
I shall not attempt to give a detail
ed account of that fooUsoie expedi
tion. Tho very thought of it makes
me weary. Miles and miles of blaz'
ing railroad tracK; eerie swamps
where snakes squirmed in tho green
ooze; rag weed bed chambers lighted
by chandeliers of dew; bellowing
bullfrogs and screaming night hawks
One afternoon, after an early start
at morning and a persistent pull all
day, we were stretching our legs for
a town called Milan. We had been
told that a paper published there had
been awarded the delinquent tax list,
and that the editor was in need of
printers to put it in type; and, being
compositors as well as "journalists,"
we saw a chance to case our down
trodden condition. In approaching a
town we had learned to look for the
courthouse dome, and had oddly fan
tied that we could determine by its
appearance the worth to us of the
'That courthouse dome is a long
time poking itself into sight," said
Dillon, as we reached the top ot a
grade which, a moment before, had
waved a beckoning hope at us. "Here
comes a fellow. I'll ask him how far
it is. Say, there," he called, address
ing an old man, "how far is it to Ml-
"Three miles and a half."
"Are you sure?"
"Oughter be. Uster hunt deer
whar tho town is."
On we trudged with hope centered
on the top of another grade, seeming-
y two miles away. Another disap
pointment, for when we reached the
top of the grade we could only see a
ong stretch of level track with a dirt
road on one side. A woman came
"How are you?" Dillon called.
THREE MILES AND A HALF TO
"Do you live near here?"
"Yes; live down yan' about a quar
Well, do you know where Milan
"Oughter. I've been there often
"You are a Christian woman, I sup-
"I hope so."
"Well, then, will you please con
sider a few moments so as to divest
your mind of all prejudices, and, re
membe-ing your hope of reward
hereafter, tell me how far it is to Mi
"I kin tell you without goin' to all
that trouble," she answered. "It's
three miles and a half."
We walked on; neither of us spoke
for some time, until Dillon finally re
marked: "I hope I shall never be
compelled to strike a woman.
We must have gone a mile further
when an old negro came along in
"Hold on a minute," Dillon shout
"Whoa, yere, What you say
"I said, hold on."
"Wall anh rint'a what T'co 1in'
"Where do you live?"
"Over on de Morrison plan'ation."
"How long have you been living
"Mighty nigh eber sense de wah."
"How do you stand in your neigh
"Fustrate, sah; I reckon, caze
ain't neber yered no complaint."
"Belong to the church, I suppose?'
"Meferdis in de heart, sah; Mefer-
dis way down the heart."
"And you think you'll go to heav.
en, I suppose."
"Oh, yes sah; case the Lord dun
promised me, an' I doan reckon he
gwine to take it back."
. "You wouldn't risk your chances
of heaven merely to tell a lie,' would
"No sah, I wouldn't; I thinks too
much o' that crown up yander ter
fool wid de truf."
"Well, then, I want you to tell me
me how far it is to Milan. Don
speas ueiore you thins, lake your
own time and tell me the truth."
"V question is mighty easy an
swered, sah. Dis yere's de Andrew
place whar we is right now, an' frum
de Andrews place to. de courthouse
in Milan is just erbout three miles an
" ou are an infernal old liar" Dil
"All right, sah, jest fix it up to
suit yo'self. Git up yere."
We trudged on. After awhile Dil
Ion took off his hat and said: "Next
man I meet has to cut down that dis
tance or he will have me to whip.
nave sioou mis thing as long as I am
We must have gone half a mile
further when we saw a man on horse
back coming toward us.
"Say there," Dillon cried when the
man was about to pass on.
"Say yo'self," he answered.
"I am mad," said Dillon.
"All right, uo down yonder and
waller in the creek till you cool off.
Have you got any furder bus'ness
with me?" he asked after a moment
"Yes," said Dillon, "I would lik
to ask you a few questions."
"All right, cut loose.'
"What is your name?"
"How far do you live from here'
"About a half."
"How do you stand in the neigh
"Sometimes on both feet and some
times on fust one an' then tuther.
"Well, are you regarded as a truth
"Aint been called a liar but onct in
six year; an' then the feller that cai
ed me It soon recognized that he had
made a mistake."
"Are you a brave man?"
"Wall, I ain't never caught no bull
by the tail and swung him 'round
and popped his horns off."
"But if pushed you'd fight, I reck
"Ye9, an' I moutdoa little bit of
the pushin' myself."
"Now sir," said Dillon, "I am go
ng to be perfectly fair with you. I
had thought that I would take ad
vantage of the next man I met and
spring a surprise on him, but as I
rather like the breeziness of your un
fettered nature, I . will prepare -you
for what may come. We have been
walking all day in an attempt to
reach Milan, but thus far have failed.
for the last fifteen miles miles we
have been told that Milan was just
three miles and a half down the road.
At first I was thankful, then I be
came skeptical and now I am re
vengeful; and I want to tell you
right now that if you don't ehorten
that distance I'll give you the worst
walloping that a white man ever
Mr. Withers without ' replying,
threw his bridle rein over the end of
a convenient fence rail and dismount
"Come down often that railroad
track," he said, rolling up hissleeves.
"But hold on a minute; I want to
give you a chance," Dillon replied.
I could have snapped a surprise on
you, but you see I have given you a
generous warning. Jsow tell me
!iov far it is to Milan."
'My friend," said Mr. Withers, "I
toated the chain for the County Sur
veyor the other day and run off the
distance from right here to Milan,
and we found it to be exactly three
miles and a half."
Dillon wiped the perspiration from
his brow and said: "l will give you
one more chance, so that in after
years you may not hold me up in ex-
ercration. Cut off that extra half
mile and I will let you pursue your
way in peace."
"I would like to accommodate you,
mister, but times air too hard.
can't cut down the appropriation one
Dillon took off his coat, the only
decent looking garment he had, laid
it down, and jumped into the coun
try road. Mr. Withers was exceed
ingly tall; Dillon looked like a jack
screw. They eyed each other for
moment and then began to flirt
about on the outskirts of danger, but
pretty soon they went at it in earnest
au- express iraiu iuareu jmsi, uu
A A 1 . 1. V..
they regarded it not. Dillon's idea
I could see, was to butt Withers into
a fence corner and jam his life out at
his earliest convenience, and at one
time his prospects were good, but
suddenly the long fellow caught Di!
Ion under the chin with one hand
while almost simultaneously he hit
him a blow with the other hand and
spread his nose all over his facia
expression. When union got up
Withers was slowly riding down the
road singing a "come all ye" song
My friend did not speak until he
climbed upon the railroad track
When he threw up his hands and ex
claimed: "Unmerciful heavens!
The express train had cut his coat in
Win. Timmons, Postmaster of Ida
ville, Ind., writes: "Electric Bitterr
has done more for me than all othes
medicines combined, for that bad
feeling arising from Kidney and
Liver trouble." John Leslie, farmer
and stockman, of same place, says
"Find Electric Bitters to be the best
Kidney and Liver medicine, made
me feel like a new man." J. W
Gardner, hardware merchant, same
town, says: "Electric Bitters is just
the thing for a man who is all run
down and don't care whether he
lives or dies: he found new strength
crood annetite and felt iust like he
had a new lease on life. Only 50
cents a bottle, at Ritchey & Bostick'
Drug Store. 1
Danger of Poisoned Full.
The Lancet contains a warnin
against the use of iced fish. Ice
spoils the freshness, firmness, and
flavor of fish by rendering it, p-iot to
putrefaction, insipid, soft, and flaby.
Where fish is preserved on ice, it ap
pears that the ice only favors putre
faction by furnishing a constant sup
ply of moisture, carrying with it the
putrefactive bacteria derived trom its
unclean surroundings, so that this re
mains covered with fresh solutions of
filth pregnant with putrefactive bac
teria. On the other hand, keeping
fish dry and cold can in no way favor
is a speclic
The Key of Death.
About the year 1600 a stranger
named Tebaldo established himself
as a merchant In Venice. Soon be
comeing infatuated with the daughter
of one of the most ancient and wealthy
families he asked her hand and was
rejected, the young lady Being al
ready affianced. Half crazed and
thoroughly enraged, he planned re
venge. Being an excellent mechanic
he soon evolved a most formidable
ooking key. The handle of this
unique weapon could be easily turned.
Being turned it disclosed a spring
with a missile in the shape of a
needle of exquisite fineness. ' With
this weapon Tebaldo waited at, the
church door until the maiden he
oved passed in on the mornimr of
er marriage. When the bridegroom
appeared the desperate lover, un per
ceived,' sent the slender poisoned
needle into his rival's breast,- and
!ll . -
wiinin an nour ne was dead of a
'strange, baffling disease." Again
Tebaldo demanded the hand of the
maiden, but was refused. Within a
few days both her parents had died
in a very mysterious manner.
Suspicion being excited, examina
tion was made, and the small steel
nstruments found in the flesh in
both cases. One day the maiden
allowed Tebaldo an audience, but
told him that she would never be his
bride. Within an hour she was a
corpse. Tebaldo was suspected, the
key discovered and the culprit hang
ed. The celebrated "kev of death"
is still shown to the curiou3 visitor of
the Venice Museum.
Dyspepsia and Liver Complaint.
T i i. L 11. it. - II j i
is it not worm me smaii price oi o
cents to free yourself of every symp
tom of these distressing complaints.
If you think so call at our store and
get a bottle of Shiloh's Vitalizer.
Jvery bottle has a pnn ted euarante
on it. Use accordingly, and if it does
you no good it will cost you nothing.
Sold by W. II. Fleming. 5
Man With an Iron Skin.
There is at Bellevue Hospital the
remarkable case of a man turning to
a statue. His skin has gradually
hardened until it is now like a cover
ing of sheet-iron. He is as helpless
as though he really were a statue,
He cannot move hand or foot, but
his health is good and he may live
for many years.
The disease is a rare one, and has
oeen diagnosed as scleroderma or
hide-bound. There, is no known cure
for it. Tho most that can be done
for the patient is to rub him from
head to foot every morning with
xne strangely amicted patient is
Patrick Wood. He is 42 years old, a
painter by trade. For seven years he
has lain on a cot. He weighs prob
amy uou pounds, and is as good na
tured as he is portly. . He spends
much of his time reading and chat
ting, and seems to enjoy life as well
as anyone. He says he experiences
no pain. Wood first discovered his
condition seven years ago.
Asa general liniment lor sprains
and bruises or for rheumatism, lame
Chamberlains Pain Balm is unrival-
ed. t or sale by ititchey & lJostick,
Druggists, McMinnville, Tennessee
In colonial times many of the bills
of lading began as follows; "Ship
ped by the grace of God, in good con
dition, etc." Dr. Franklin used to
print and sell bills of lading, and
some pious persons objecting to the
usual heading, he advertised that
he sold bills of lading with or with
out tho grace of God.
The only Guaranteed permanent
cure for all forms of headache and
Neuralgia. Relieves in 15 to 20 min
utes. A great blood cleanser and
nerve tonic, that in time permanent
ly cures. Sold by W. II. Fleming,
McMinnville, Tenn, at ou cents per
A Waste of Material.
New York Sun.
".Nature rarely wastes, but some
times she does," said Mehitabel at
the circus. "Look at the elephant,
for instance. Two tails practically,
and yet with a hide absolutely im
pervious to flies."
The English government pays
$3,000,000 a year to its ships for ocean
mail service and the 'United States
$100,000 to steamers under tho Amer
The declining powers of old aj
may be wonderfully recuperated and
sustained by the daily use of Hood's
harmless l'nstori's '
CjAik for Ciulogua.
TERRY M'F'G CO.-nashyillejem.
Caveat, and Trade-Marks obtained, and all Pat
ent luiu'iw conducted for Moocratc rn.
ou orricr. it Opposite U. 8. Patint Orricr
ana wo can secure patent iu lew tluiu tlioa those
ruuiuw irom antilnijlon.
tsend model, drawlncr or nhntn.. with Aparrln.
tiou. We advise, if patentable or not, free of
charge. Our fee not due till patent la secured.
A PAMPHLtT. "How to Obtain Patent." with
names of actual clients in your State, county, or
town, sent free. Addroas,
pp. Patent Orricr Wabhinoton. d. c
THE OLD KELT ABLE.
Little Rock & Memphis
ARKANSAS, TEXAS and CALIFORNIA
Shortest, Quickest and Best Route
TO AND FKOM ALL l'OINTS IN
Arkansas, Texas and California.
Parlor Coal-hen, Pullman Kecliuing
Chair and Buffet Sleeping Cars, Rim
Memphis ancUTexarkana, via Brink-
ley and Cotton Belt Eonte.
DOUBLE DAILY TRAINS between LIT.
TLE ROCK and MEMPHIS, making clote
ennnectio;) at Memphis with daily line of
To New York
Via LOUISVILLE and CINCINNATI, and
with Through Pullman Sleepers to
WASHINGTON AND NEW YORK
Via CHATTANOOGA and BRISTOL.
Woodruff a Pullman TBuffet Sleeping
Cars on nil night trains between Mem
phis nd Little Bock.
ND QUICKEST ROUTE
to the cele-
Hot Springs of Arkansas,
The World's Great Sanitarium.
Excursion Tickets on Sale the Year
For further information address,
CIIAS. A. JOSEm.Trav., Fgt. & Pas. Agt.
II. H. MOllKISOX,
Gen. Freight uud Ticket Agent,
Little Rock, Ark.
East Tenno88eo, Virginia & Georgia r.y.
NEW TIHK TO ri.OKIDA.
3 Dally Train.
C2TATTAKOOUA TO ATLANTA.
Oft. 1 SH.
So. 11. j So. 18. j So. 0. I So. 8.
lii.T. V.&C.ky.) I
I- -, t'h iuniAn;a .1
Lv. Union Sution . jil.nop.m.
Lv. C-t.tral S1aujn.ii1.15 p m.
13.55 p.m. 7.10 a.m. 5.00p.m.
1. os p.m. 7.30 a. m -
a. 50p.m. 9.41a.m. 7.36p.m.
3.51 p.m. ' 11.05 a.m. i.5Jp.m
6.45 p.m. 8.10 p.m
7 o V 1
'o x p.m ,
4.00 a m I . .
5 15 m 1
8.30 a.m. I . . . .
f n a.m
Ai. K' 'Mli
Ai. AILANTA . .
Lv. Atlanta . , . ,
Ar. Marnii . . , ,
Ar. IKSUP . .
a .1 1 fl.m.
5.10 a. nt.
4 op ni.
(3. f. 6i W. Kv.)
Ar. U aYCROSS . ,
!E. T. V. G. Ry.)
. V. .V w.
Lv. IESUF .
7 ;op m
(S. F. V W
; 10.00 an.'
! 1 4up.ni.;
-. T V. A G. Ry.)
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Vi HiutTtin . . .
v. ri.-lm.tn' . .
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4.00p.m. ir i'
.06 p.m. 13.1
. 11, .
S.55 r m
.-, m p.m
1...1 . p m
6.47 p.m. t.o-' p m.
7.37 p. m. 1 1 11
8.4p ni., s.r. j- in.
,W.l-r . . . .
r. SKl.MA . . .
4.?' i' in.
6.40 p in.
";m. il. Ry.l
f.v. Splma ....
kr. Mt. V-rnnn .
t. Milttil.F. . .
THTJ'JGH CAR ARRANT,"
-iurict i'uliinin liuiTet SL'Tpit.
ASAKESIS" (rives Instant
rolk'r anrl is an lnfallililu
lire for J'lle. )riie?l. Ky
1 Vlloxilti,iNt'V7 lork City.
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