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VOL. 1. JEFFERSON CITY, MO., FRIDAY, DECEMBER 27, 1872.
NO. 1.
State
. . - 'i . ... -i' '
PROSPECTUS
or tiik
STATE JOURNAL,
A Now Paper at tlio State Capital
of Missouri.
Yielding obedience In the lung continued Ac-
intiud-i of the public, Uie requirements of the
times, the Interests of Missouri and her capital,
the welfare of nil lier worthy enterprises ami
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BITlcn MEREDITH,
Jefferson City, Mo,
II. B. JOnNHOX.
j. a. botsfoud
JOHNSON & BOTSPORD.
Attorneys at Law
i unierson vnj, Aussonrl.
VyiLL GIVE SPECIAL ATTENTION TO
t ' ,u "10 -"ea states circuit ami
District Courts. dec .27,78-11.
," F3EDRIC N. JUDSON,
Attorney & Counsellor,
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208 NOHT1I THIRD STREET,,
d-.s7,Ti-tf. 1 - ' St. Louis, Mo.
H. W. MARCER & CO.,
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' dec.S7,73-Om. JEFFEB90H C1TT, MO.
A CHRISTMAS STOUT,
Annie and Willis's Prayer,
nr una. aoi-ma r. axuw.
'Tusa the ovo before Christmas,
Unnl nlirlit" had been said. '
Ami Annie ami Wllllo had crept Into bod!
l ucre were lean on tneir pillows, anu tcargin
Anil euch little hnsom was heaving with alalia:
or OT-lllglll inoir Blurn minor s cumiuami uwi
That they slinulil retire precisely at oven,
instead oi at eiynt, iw mey inniuiwt unii imi.iv
With questions unheard of tlinn ever lierore.
Ho told them lia tinman this delusion a sin.
No such creature aa "Baula Claua" evcaihad
been.
And luMiopod, alter this, he ahould never more
low hnwramhlnt down ehimnuyewlth presents
oacn year.
A...1 11.1 f1, nnnn Hint two llttlfl heads
So reatlcsnly tossed on their sntu downy beds.
t.iili. nine, ami uiw viuv u tio 'winu .u,..-u
Not a won! had been spoken liyelthertlll then
When Willie's sad lace, from the blanket did
peep,
And whispered, "Dear Annie, Is 'on fallen
asleep t
Why no,,r Brother Wllllo," a awoet volco re
plies, I've long tried In vain, hut I cant abut my
Dear papa has snlil there is no ' Santa Claus.'
Now wc know there Is, and tt can't be denied.
For he came every yrnr neiore mamma oien :
But, then. I've been thinking that alio used to
And maybe she asked him to send Santa Claua
hero
With tlio sack Mil of presents he brought oveiy
year.
"Well, w
by tan't we pay dest aa mamma did
And ask i)nd to send him with presents aden f "
vo lieen lliliiklngsoioo--- anu wiiiiuuiu wi,r,i
Four little bnro feet tiounded out on tlio floor,
Ami fnii. lime iriteea tlin Mnelenmet nrcascd.
And two tiny hands wero clasped close to each
nrt-HKi.
Vow. w lllie. von know we must firmly believe
mat me presents we asa lui- wu v nuiw iu i
eeive;
Vnn must wait lust an still till I sav the 'Amen,
And by lhat you will know that your turn has
CUtllf VI1V11.
" Denr Jesus, look down on my brother and me,
And grant us the favor we are asking of thee,
I u'unt a mi ilnllv. a ten-net anil rlnir.
And an ebony work-box that ahuta with a
spring-
Blesn pspa. dear Jesns, and cause him to nee
That Santa Claus loves us as much aa does ho
Don't let hlin get fretful and angry again
At ilnnr brother Willie ami Annie. Amen."
1'lease, llesus, ot aanta Taus turn uown 10-
And bltiR us some presents before It ta laid,
I want lie should dlv' me a nleo littlo sed
With bright slilnln unners, and all paluted rod,
nlfflit.
A uox lull oi lamiy, a oona anu n n,j .
Amor. n,l thr-n. fleniin. I'll Imi a ilood hnv."
rueir prayora uoiug euueu, muy niwni ui iu.ir
And with hearts tight and cheerful, agalu Bought
tltotr lioiln.
They were soon lost in slumber, both peaceful
And with fab-lea In dreamland were roaming In
sleep.
Eight, nine, and the little French clock had
simcK u-n,
lie aeema now to hear Aunle'a liair-auppreaseii
nln-hn.
And to sno the big tcare stand in WUUe'a blue
eyes.
" 1 wns harsh with my darling," ho mentally
saiu.
"And should not have sent them so early to bed i
But then, 1 waa troubled; my feelings found
vent.
For bank stock, to-dny, has gono down ten per
cent:.
But of course they've forgotten their troubles
ere this;
And that 1 denied them tlio thrlce-askcd-fbr
kiss; . . .
lint, lunt tn make sure. I'll stoal tin to their door.
Km-1 never nnnke liurnh to inv tlar! luffs beforo."
no saying, ne somy unccmiuu tn sutirs.
Anu umvc.i ui liiu iiuui iu ue.i win u. ,,,v,i
Ills Annie's "Bless papa" drew forth the big
tears,
And WUUe'a grave promise fell sweet on his
ears.
" Strange strange I'd forgotten," anld he with
How 1 longod when a child to liavo unrlstnms
n Miirn.
iiraw iiikii."
I'll atono for mv harshness." he Inwnrdlv aald.
By answering their prayers ere I sleep In my
lieil."
Then ho turned to tho atalrs and aoftly went
down,
Throw oh velvet slippers and silk dressing
gown,
Donned list, coat and boots, and waa out in tho
hi reel
A millionaire, faelnff the cold, drlvlnff aloet t
Nor atonned ho untVl lie had boucbt evervthbic.
From the box full of candy to the tiny gold ring;
That the varinus nresents outnumbered a score.
imieeu. lie aenL atiuinir so inucn iu ma nun.
Theu homeward be turned, when his holiday
With Aunt Haiy'a help tn the nursery was
IIUU
lowed.
Miss Dolly waa seated beneath a pine tree.
By the side of a table spread out for her tea:
A work.bnx well filled In the centre waa laid.
And on It the ring for which Annie had prayed ;
A soldier In unlfurm atood by a sled
" With bright ahinuing runners, and all painted
ifi."
There were balls, dnga and bprsos, books plcaa
lnir to seo.
And birds of alt colore were perohod In the
tree;
While Santa Clans, laughing, atood up In the top,
AS 11 fretting reuuy luui-o presums lu urup,
Ami as the mini fulher the nlcture aurveved
llo thought for bis trouble he hail amply been
paiu:
And ho said to himself, as he brushed off a tear,
" I'm happier to-night than I'vo been for a year,
I'vu eiyoyeu more true pleasure tuau ever ut)
ftiro.
Wliat care I if bank stock falls ten per cent.
more I
Hereafter I'll make It a rule. I believe.
To havo Hanut Claua visit na each Christmas
Kve."
So tblnklnff. he rentlv eztlnanlshed the llffht.
And. ti'immia- down atalrs. retired for the nlirlit
As soon as the beams or the bright morning sun
rut uiu uaraness to nignt. anu star, one uy one,
s our little umo eyes oui oi sleep openeu wide,
And at tho same moment the Dresenta eanied :
Then out of their beds they sprang with a bound
And the very gifts prayed for were all of them
round.
They laughed and they cried, in their Innocent
And shouled for nana to come anlek and aee
What presente old Santa. Claua brought in the
nigut
Just the thing that they wanted and left be-
luroiiaui:
Ann unit, uuiaci, niaiilD, in ,iju-i mm nit,, iuw.
" You'll believe there's a 'Santa, Claua,' papa, I
IIIUW ,
Willie dear little Willie cllmhed on on his tmea
Determined no secret between them should lie,
And told In soft whlsners how Annie had aald
That their dear blessed mamma, ao long ago
dead,
Used to kneel down and pray by the aide of her
And that dod up in heaven had anawered her
prayer.
" Den wo dot up and prayed dust well as we
IUUII,
And Dod answered our prayer ; now waant ho
dood V
"I ahould say that he was, u bo acnt you all
And knew uat what present my children would
Ull-USV. .
(Well, well, let him think so, the dear little elf,
Twould bo oruel to tell him I did It invseir."!
Blind fathor! who caused your atern hoart to
relent,
And tho hasty words spoken ao soon to repent ?
Twus the Being who bade you atee) aoftly up
And made youHls agent to answer tuelvprnyors.
Men's lives should be like tho tiny, more
oenumtu in me evening; or, iiko -me Bum
mer. no-low with u remise i and like the au-
tiirun, rich with the golden sheaves, where
the good works and deeds have ripeneu on
cue Bent,
No man does lilt best except when ho Is
cneenui. a ngnt heart makes nimble
nanus, nna Keens uie niina tree ana alert.
No niialbrtiine Is ao great ai one that aoura
temper. Until vhecrmlnesa Is lost. Keep
in good humor. " ''
1 We heard lu a late sermon an anecdote
of an old merchant who instructed his
clerk t When a man cornea into the store
and talks of his honesty, watch him if he
uuks oi nts weaiui. don't trv tn sell hlin :
if ho talks of his religion, don't trust him a
uonar." it was a smart merchant -who
said that, and an equally smart raiulster
who knew that it waa worth preaching and
waa not afraid to say It from his pulpit.
How T Escaped Being Killed tn it
... Liuei. . ,
The niilv merit I claim for tho followlnir
narrative is that it is a true story. It lute
A moral at tho end of it, but I claim noth
inc on that, as it is merely thrown In to
curry fnvor with the religious element, i
Alter 1 una renonoa a coupio m yeani
on tho Virginia City (Nevada) Daily Kth
tcrprise, they promoted me to do eilitor-ln-chicf
and I lasted just a week, by the
watch, lint 1 mane an uncommonly uvciy
novesimner w hile I did last, and when I re
tired I hod a duel on my hands, and three
hnrae-whtppings promised me.- lue inner
I mado no attumiit to collect; howevor.
this history concerns only the former. It
wan the old " flush times " of the silver ex
citement, when the population was won
derfully wild and mixed ; everybody went
armed to the teeth, and all slights and in
sults had to be atoned for with the bost
article of blood vour system could furnish.
In the course of cditintt I made trouble
Willi a Mr. Lord, editor of the rival paper.
lie now m about some, little trine or oilier
that I said about him I do not remember
now what it was. I suppose I called him
a thief, or a body-snatchi'r, "or an idiot, or
something like that. I was obliged to
make tho paper readable, and I could not
fail in my duty to a wholo community of
subscribers merely to save tho exaggera
ted sensitiveness of an individual. Mr.
Lord was offended, and replied vigorously
in his paper. ' Timorously means a croat
uoai When it reiers to A personal euitorini
in a frontier nowspnper. 9nelling was all
tho fashion among the upper classes in
that country, and vory lew gentlemen
would throw away an opportunity oi light
ing one. To kill a person in a duel caused
a man to be even more looked up to than
to kill two men in tlio ordinary way. Well,
out there., if you abused a man, and thnt
man did not l'ike It, you had to call him out
and kill'him ; otherwiso you would be dis
graced. So I challenged Mr. Lord, and I
did hope he would not accept ; but I knew
nerlectlv well that he did not want to llcht,
and so I challenged him in the most vio
lent and iniplacablo manner. And then I
sat down and suffered till the answer camo.
All our boys the editors wcro In our oi-
ucc, " hcluinr me In the dismal business.
and telling about duels, mid discussing the
couo with a lot ol aged rullians who had
had experience in such things, and alto-
gcuicr there was a lovms interest taken
in the matter, which made me unspeakably
uncomiortabie. lho answer came air.
Lord declined. Our boys were furious,
and so was I on the surface.
I sent him another clmllcngo, and anoth
er and another; and tlio more ho did not
want to fielit the, blootlthirtier I beenme
But at Inst the man's tono changed. He
appeared to bo wakinsr up. It was becom
ing apparent that he was going to fight
me, alter all. I ought to hare known how
It would be ho was a man who never
could be depended upon. Our boys were
exultant, i was not, tnougn i trieu to no.
It was now time to eo out and practice,
It was the custom there to fight duels with
navy six-shooters at fifteen paces load
and empty till tho cranio for tho funeral
was secured. We went to a little ravine
just outside of town, and borrowed a barn
door for a target borrowed it of a gentle
man who was absent and wo stood this
barn-door up, and stood a rail on end
against tho middle of It, to represent Lord,
and put a squash on ton of the mil to rep
resent his head. Ho was a very tall, lean
creature, the poorest soil of material for a
duel nothing but a lino shot could "fetch"
him, and even then he might split your bul
let. Exaggeration aside, the rail was, of
course, a little too thin to represent his
body accurately, but tlio squash was all
richt. If there was any intellectual differ
ence between the squash mid his head, it
was in isvor oi me squash.
Well, I practiced and practiced at the
barn-door, and could not hit it ; and I prac
ticed at the rail, and could not hit that ;
and I tried hard for the squash, and could
not hit the squash. I would hare been en
tirely disheartened, but that occasionally
I crippled one of the boys, and that en
couraged me to hopo. . .
At last wo began to hear pistol-shots
near uy, in me next ravine, w o Knew
what that meant I Tho other party were
out practicing, too. Then I was In tho
last degree distressed ; for of gourse those
people would hear our shots, and they
would send snies over the rldrre. And the
spies would find my barn-door without a
wound or a scratch, and that would sim
ply be tlio end of mo for of course that
otnor man wouiu immediately become as
bloodthirsty aa I was, Just at this mo
ment a little bird, no lartror than a spar
row, flew by, and lit on a sago-bush about
uuny paces away ; ana my little soeonu,
Steve Gillis, who was a matchless marks
man with a pistol much hotter than I wns
snatched out his revolver, and shot the
bird's head off I We all ran to piek up thd
game, and sure enough, just at this mo
ment, some ol the other duellists came re
connoitring over tho littlo ridge. Thoy
ran to our group to see what the matter
was; ana wnen they saw the bird, lord's
sccona saia :
" That was a splendid shot. How far
off was It P"
Steve said, with some indifference: !
" Oh, no great distance. About thirty
paces." i
"Thirty paces! Heavens alive, who
did ItP"
" ATu man Twain."
" The mischief he did I Can be do that
onen r "
"Well yes. Ho can do It about well
about four times out of five.'! i
I knew the littlo rascal was lyinir, but
I never said anything. . I never told him
so. He was not of a disposition to invite
confidences of that kind, so I let tho mat
tor rest. ' Hut it was a comfort to see those
people look sick, and see their under-jaws
drop, when Steve made these statements.
They went off and gpt Lord, and took him
nome ; anu wncn we got dome, ball an
hour later, there was a note saying that
Air. Jord peremptorily declined to ilirht I
It was a narrow escape. Wo found out
afterwards that Lord hit his mark thirteen
times in eighteen shots. If ho had put
those thirteen bullets through me, it would
have narrowed my sphere of usefulness a
gooa ileal would have well nigh elosed
It, in fact. True, they could have put pegs
in tho holes, and used me for a bat-rack ;
but what Is a hat-rack to- a man who feels
ho has Intellectual powers t I would scorn
such a position. , .
I havo written this true incident of my
personal history for one purpose, and one
Surpose only to warn the youth of the
ay against the pernicious practice of duel
ling, and to plead with them to war against
It, If the remarks and. suggestions I am
making can be of any service to Sunday
acmwi leaeuera, anu newapaper interests
ud in the moral protrreas of society, ther
aro at liberty to use them, and I shall even
1 be grateful to have thorn widely dissemina
ted, fto that thoy may do as much good aa
possible. I was young ana roonsn wnen
I challenged that gentleman, and I thought
it was yery fine and vory grand to be a
duellist, and stand upon the " field of hon
or." Bat I am older and more experienced
now, and ara inflexibly opposed to the
dreadful custom. I am glad, indeed, to
be enabled to lilt un mv voico neainst It.
I think it is a bai1 Immoral tiling. I think
It ts every man s duty to do ovcrymtne ho
can to discourage duelling. I always do
now ; I discourage it upon every occasion.
it a moa were to challenge mo now
now that I can fully appreciate tlio iniquity
of that practice I would go to that man.
ana take turn ny the nana, ana lean mm to
a quiet, retired room ana Kill mm.
Mark Twain. -
' Daniel Webster's First Plea. '
Ebenczer Webster, father of Daniel, was
a farmer. The vetrctables in his trarden
suffered considerable from tho depreda
tions of a woodchuck, whose hold and
habitation was near the premises. Daniel,
some ten years old, and his brother Eze
kicl, had set a trap, and at last succecdod
in nucntng the tivapancr. i-.zekiet pro
posed to kill the animal and end at once
all further trouble with him, but Daniel
looked witli compassion upon his meek,
dumb captive, and offered to let him go.
The boys could not agree, and each ap
pealed to their fnthor to decide the case.
" Well, my boys," said tho old gentle
man, " I wiu bo judge and you bo c un
set to plead tho case for and ngf it his
lifo and liberty."
Ezckiel opened the case with a strong
argument, urging the mlschcviotis nature
of the criminal, the great harm he had al
ready done : said Hint much time and labor
had been spent In his capture, and now, if
sunerca to go at large, no would renew
his depredations, and no cunning enough
not to be caught again, and that ho oueht
flow to be put to death ; that his skin was
oi some vaiuo, ana mat, make tho most
of him they could. It would not repay half
mo damage ne nan already done, tits ar
gument was ready, practical, and to the
point, and of much greater length than
our limit will allow us to occupy iu relat
ing tho story.
The lather looked with pride upon his
son, who became a distinguished jurist in
his manhood.
"Now Daniel, It's your turn; I'll hear
wnat you've got to say."
It was his first caso. Daniel saw that
the plea of his brother hod sensibly affect
ed his father, the judge ; and his large,
brilliant black-eyes, rested upon tho soil,
timid expression of the animal, nnd he saw
it trembled with fear in Its narrow prison
house. His heart swelled with pity, and
ho appealed with eloquent words that the
captive might go free. God, he said, had
made the woodchuck; He mado him to
lire to enjoy the bright sunshine, the pure
air, tho holds and woods. God had not
made him or anything in vain: The wood
chuck had as much riirht to live as any
other living thing ; ho wns no destructive
animal, like the wolf; he simply ate a few
common vcgcmnies, oi wnicn nicy nau
plenty, nnd could well spare a part ; he
destroyed nothing except the little food he
nta tu sustain his humble life; and that
littlo food was as sweet tn him, and a3
necessary to his existence as was to them
tlio food on their mother's table. God fur
nished their own food. Ho gave them all
they possessed, and would they not sparo
a little for a dumb creaturo who really had
as much right to his small share of God's
bounty as they themselves had to their por-
ID' v ... . ,1... l 1 - 1 4
iiwu. ivn, uiuivj iiiu nuuuai iitut never
violated the laws nf his nature or the laws
of God, as man offer did, but strictly fol
lowed the instinct ho had received from
tho hunds of the Creator of all things.
Created by God's hands, he had a right
from God to food, to liberty, and they had
no right to denrlve him of either. - Ifo al
luded to the mute but earnest pleadings of
mo uuiumi lur uihi me, aa aenr to nim as
were his own, and the just Judgment they
might expect, If in selfish cruelty and cold
hoartednsss they took tho life they could
not restore again.
During the appeal the tears had started
in the old man's eyes, and were fast run
ning down his sunburnt cheeks. Every
fueling of a father's hoart was stirred with
in him, and he felt that God had blessed
him beyond tho common lot of men. His
pity was awakened by the eloquent word
of compassipn and the strong appeal for
mercy; and. forgetting the Judge In the
man and father, ha sprang from his chair
(while Daniel was in the midst of his ar
gument, without thinking he had already
won the cose), and turning to his eldest
son, dashing the tears from his eyes, he
exclaimed: "Zeke, Zeke, yon let that
woodchuck go 1 1' portfolio, ' j
The family board should be honored of
an, witn joy, pence anu tore, it is a
shrine where churlishness, coldness, si
lence and frown should have no place. It
may be made thrice a day the scene of a
festival richer and rarer than picnics in
wooded groves, or sumptuous feasts in
gilded saloons. Its offerings may be fru
gal and humble but no matter; better Is
its dinner of horbs, If flavored with love
and rpiced with cheerful vivacity, than
the rich courses of grand hotel, where
strange hundreds swallow and gulp amid
a clutter of dishes, regardloss of each oth
er's presence or the weary and monoton
ous meals of the boarding bouse where the
people know each other too well to be en
tirely reserved, and too little to be familiar.
Eaoh assemblage around tho family table
has its peculiar charm and each may be
made a feast. 1 " " j
. The table is no place for stiff dignity, or
austerity. . Wiling bread and butter, and
taking soup from a spoon may bo done
pleasantly and gracefully; but to Infuse
dignity and stillness Into tho operation is
inexcusably rediciilous. Hunger is a lev
eler, and eating and drinking one of the
most delightful pleasures. No one has a
right to disguise the innocent satisfaction
ol it at the family board, by tlio affectation
of an exemption from ao human a weak
ness as an appetite, or disdain of the viands
set before him. The plessantest- family
pictures are those cheerful dining-room
assemblages whero father, mother, broth
ers and sisters eat and drink cheerily, as
though t did them good, and cloth, urn,
dishes and spoons seem to look happy In
tho general joy. Kxchaxgt. l,.. j i
' The annals of the world do not shoW f
true business man asking for employment
who didnt get it. But there can be no
true business without pluck, and that other
thing 'expressed by that old Saxon "word
V plod." There was never a briUant gen
ius In i Die world who didnt owe bis true
success to being a plodder .also. It Is all
very well for genius to corruscate, hut It is
pluott and plodding that carry a man up to
the great heights of lite.- These two words! -plucl;
and plod,, are (he; keywords to suet
fT', Ml.,.':. ...,-..,'! ". I !'
Senator Carpenter.
" Shirley Dare" has givon of Senator
Carpenter quite a lifo-liko sketch, which
wo hero reproduce It describes him aa
ho appeared towards tho close of one of
tlio tedious night sessions of the Senate last
Iring: ,
" No wonder the Scuatc grows lldgelty
hy 10 o'clock, nnd Hon. ifall. Carpenter
goes wandering . between tho smoking
room and his desk (ill one is disposed to
send him a box of opium lozenges. ' Fif
teen times in tho courso of one hour did
that possessed statesman promenade the
ten paces from his scat to the ante-room,
rolling till for the life of me 1 can't help
thinking of a great turtle set upon its flip-
tiers with a Napoleonic air. ltegularly as
le took in his chair, dowu went his body
and un went his legs as smoothly as if by
machinery, all at single motion; it was
quite a treat to see how cosily he did it.
His beloved cigar was always in his fing
ers, brought abstractedly from tho ante
room, and fumbled and caressed as if it
were his darling. You will say I inspected
the SciaUir pretty well, and so I did, for
he is simply tho must interesting person
age in the Senate, not excepting Sir. Sum
ner. He Is never at rest, and his face, is
never without that inscrutable blending of
seriousness, mischief and dangcrousness
that is captivating to a student of human
countenances. 1 ou sny to yourself, look
ing at that face, hero Is a man, who what
ever he Bet before himself in life, left no
stone unturned to gain it; nothing in the
world is half so dear to him as his own
way, or will ho, to tho end of limo. If 1
had a cause and could get litis man inte
rested hi Itjl should bo nearly certain it
was won. There is something more than
mcro effort in the career of such a man.
He floats along a stream of success kept
smoothly for him. Thcro is a grandeur in
Wosson's idea of Fate that men's desti
nies, good or bad, aro shaped for them,
and we can gain somo cluo to this by read
ing the scroll of success. You nover saw
an unlucky man with a flguro and face like
that of Carpenter's. Tho breadth, the
force and keenness there, the ponderous
will, are the traits of Ibrtiinnto men since
our country had a history."
SenatnrCnrpenter is quite a jovial gentle
man, genial and generous, round and rol
licking. Not at all stiff or exclusive, cold or
distant, but warmly impulsive and en
thusiastic just such a gontlcman as ono
would proudly havo for a friend, either on
the floor of the Senate or in tho common
rounds of oyory-day lifo. Always ap
proachable and of warmly responsive
sympathies, he is an Invaluable champion
or a dreaded foo.
Ill manner, tho Senator Is truly Western
off-hand and familiar, fond of a joke and
apt at telling ono. In figure he is tlio very
picture of robust health round and rudy
as a boy, though advancing years have
woven thickly through his lucks their sil
very threads and left their furrows on his
brow.
"The Lost Arts."
Wendell l'hlilips, whoso eloquent and
scholarly lectures arc always listened to or
read with pleasure and profit, submit the
proposition that
ALL MEN ARE BOIIIIOWEItS,"
and thus tersely illustrates his argument :
Take the wholo range of imaginative
literature nnd we ore all wholcsnlo bor
rowers. In every matter that relates to
invention to use, or beauty, or form we
are borrowers. .
You may glance around the furniture of
the palaces in r.urone, and you may gather
all tlioso utensils ol art or use, and when
vou have fixed the shane and forms In vour
mind, I will take you into tho Museum of
Maples, which gathers nil remains of the
domestic life of the Romans, and you shall
not find a single ono of these modem forms
of art.or beauty or use, that was not anti
cipated there. Wo hare hardly added ono
single lino or sweep ol beauty to the
ftiitinnn.
Take tho stories or Shakespeare, who
has, perhaps, written his lorty odd plays.
Somo are historical, t Tho rest, two-thirds
of them, ho did not stop to Invent, but he
found them. ' Theso ho clutched, ready
made to his hand, from the Italian novel
ists, who had taken thera before from the
feast. Cinderella and her slipper is older
than all history, like half a dozen other
baby legends. The annals of the world do
not go back fur enough to tell us from
where they first came,
All the boys' plays, like everything that
amuses the child in tho open air, are Asia
tic. Hawlinsun will show you that they
came somevr'jere from the banks of the
Gauges or the suburbs of Damuscns. Ilul-
wer borrowed tlio incidents of his Itoman
stories from legends of a thousand years
before. Indcctl, Dunloch, who has group
ed the history of the novels of all Lurope
into one essay, says that in the nations of
modern r.urope mere nave ooen two hun
dred and .fifty or three hundred distinct
stories.
He say at least two hundred of these
may be traced, beforo Christianity, to the
other side ot mo uiack sea. 11 this were
mv touic. which it la not. I rnlc-ht tell vou
that even our nowspapcr jokes aro enW-
insr a r.verv .resnoctable old aire. Tuke
Maria Edgewordi's essay on Irish bulls
ana the inugnauie mistimes oi tne irisn.
- Even the tnlo which either Maria Edgo-
worth or her Hither thought the best is that
famous story of a man writing a letter, aB
lOllOWSr1.-" ,:
: ,"Mv Deau Fbiendi I would write you
more in detail, more- minutely, if there
was not an impudent fellow looking over
my snnuuier reading every word." "No,
you lie-Id not read a word yoit have
written 171 . .i ' , . m:. .-. .
This is an Irish bull, still It is a very old
one. It is only two hundred and filly yohrs
older than tho Now Testament. Horace
Walpolo dissented from Iilehai'd Lorell
Edgcworth and thought tlio other Irish
bull was the best of the man who said :
"1 would have boon a very handsome man,
but thoy changed ruu In tho cradle.'! .,. r,
That comes from Don .Quixote, and is
Spanish, bnt Cervantes borrowed It from
the Greek in the fourth century, and the
Greeks stole it from the Egyptian hundreds
of yoare.bnota, V. -if. II t L M r v
OBEEK JOKES IN TIIEIlt DOTAOE.
' 1 There (s one story which It Is sold Wash
ington has related-of a man who went into
au inn. and asked for a glass.qf drink from
the landlord, who poshed forward a wino
gloss about half the usual Bine the tea
cups also in that day were not more than
half the present size. - a.w tU:i; i
ine lonuioru anui, .r'inai glass .out pi
wmcn youaretirinKmi; flipriy years pia,"
"Well," said tlio thirsty traveler, content-
plating its diminutive proportions, "I think
It is the smallest thinir that I ever saw."
That story as told is given as a story of
auiuiiv mruo utinttreii ana seventy-live
yours beforo Christ was burn. Why I nil
these Irish bulls aro Greek every one of
mem.
Tako the Irishman who curried around a
brick as a specimen of the houso he had to
sell ; tako tho Irishman who shut his eyes
and looked into tho glass to see how lie
would look when ho was dead ; take the
Irishman that bought a crow, alleging the
crows were reported to live two hundred
years, and ho meant to set out and try it.
Take tho Irishman that met a friend who
said to him, "Why, 'sir, I beard you were
dead." "Well," says the man, "1 suppose
yon see T'm not." ""Oh! no," says ho, "I
would believe lho man who told me a good
deal quicker than 1 would you." Well,
those aro nil Greek. A score or more of
them, or the parallel character, come from
Athens.
Our old Boston patriots felt lhat tarring
and feathering a Tory was a genuine pat
ent Yankeo firebrand Yankecism. Thev
little imagined that when Richard Caur
do Leon set out on ono of his Crusades.
among the orders ho issued to his camp of
somiers was innt any one who rooticu a
hen-roost should bo tarred and feathered.
Many a man who lived In Connecticut
has repeated the story of taking children to
the limits of the town nnd giving them a
sound thrashing to enforce their memory
of tlio spot. But the rturgiimlians In
Franco, in a law now one thousand anil
ono hundred years old, attributed valor in
tho cast of 1'1'nnco because it hail a law
that tho children should lie taken to the
limits of tho district, and there soundly
whipped, in order that they might forever
reniemoer wncre mo limits camo.
So we havo very few new things in that
line, lint I said I would take the subject,
for instance, of this very material very
suusiancr? glass, it is tne very nest ex
pression of man's self-conceit.
Tlio Christ-Child.
The Germans have a beautiful lee-end.
which they moro than half believe, thai on
Christmas morning the child, born In a
stable, revisits earth, to look after all other
little ones; that from the little prince in
his royal cradle to tlio baby sleeping like
Himself In straw, nono are left un visit oil
by Him, that He may know how men have
welcomed thoso whom He gave as an
especial legacy into their tenucrest keep
ing. What if tho story were true ? What
if, when in n few days Christmas dawns
upon us, the Holy Child were actually to
enter Into the myriad homes of this so
called Christian city t On one street Ho
would find hosts of beautiful children,
f guarded from every unkind wind, wrapped
n velvets, jeweled, pampered with dain
ties, the constant care and delight of
waiciuui moincrs nnu miners, i ncy nrc
His orcaturos t the good tilings which make
lifo a lovely dream to them aro absolutely
His gifts to their parents. Side by side
with them on tho crowded pavement, dog-
gingtheirfootstepswith outstretched ham
ds
nnd hungry eyes, are hosts of other chil
dren, His creatures also. They aro nnked
and famished nnd sorrowful. They arc so
used to misery and want that it has not yet
occurred to them that they havo a right to
complain. Thoy look at their moro for
tunate oromcrs wim an awe and wonder
rather than envy, as they might peer
lurougu tne gates ol heaven at me messed
within; they, forever, in tho cold and
darkness.
Is the German legend Indeed n fable?
Will not tho poor children meet us on
Christmas nay lu every street and allcy
with their pale faces nnd empty, joyless
nvcsr win tne cnrist-uiiuu not be there
to see nnd judge t Surely, if we could
but see lliin as lie stands among us thnt
day, it would bo as when once before lie
came to His disciples and, "takiuga little
child, set hiin In their midst." There is
not a single hungry, ragged child m New
York who does not come to us with that
divine message, straight from Hiin, "What
will you do with this, my brother?" Xtw
i oric i nounc.
For Misery or Happiness, Which?
Anathema Maranntha bo upon him
whether he bo black, or while, young or
old, gentle or simple, philosopher or
duueo, bond or free, who says wo arc not
intended to no nappy in this world I t an
our God be of so refined a cmolty as to
have created so many millions ol human
beings, just to worry their lives out P Can
Ho havo framed them into such an ingeni
ous compound of mutter and spirit? can
He havo given tlieni sucli vast capabilities
oi ucing ginti anu Doing sorry, moreiy
that He may the better torment themP
Can He have made us out of spite, as Cal
iban opines of his god Sctcbos, in Brown
ing's hno poem ? If He had done so. whv
did lie uiuko the period of our sufferings
so short ? whv did He not make us eternal P
then indeed (were Ho such a monster of
barbarity, ns is presupposed by this hy
pothesis.) might lie hare worthily wreaked
His hatred upon us. Our religion, as Pas
cal remarks, is the only one that inculcates
on us votaries not on ly awe ana rcvorence,
but love toward the Deity.
Could It reasonably ask us to give our
hearts to a capricious, malignant demon,
who had put us together, only that He
might mangle usf Moreover, would not
such a demon in nil probability havo got
tired of his cruel game, having had so
many Hundred generations on wmcn to
nractico it P Would not ho nrohablv be
turning his devilish power of inflicting an
guish Into somo new channel ; testing it
upon somo other family of defenseless suf
ferers P To no demon's malice do we owe
our creation; our God meant us to be
boundlessly, flawlossly happy; dial we
never can lie now, timnKS to ourselves ;
but moderately, temperately, soberly hai
py we may still be, if we go the right way
to work. Haiinr. uartlv In Dresont frui
tion, far' moro lu expectancy ; happiest In
the very fact which at the first blush has a
sorry aspect that all our bappinessos hove
are but transitory, mere types and shadows
of worthier substances, never to be grasped
till this mortal has put on immortality!
Xtiotla Broughto. ',
"Can you tell me what a smile is P" of a
little p-li-I. "Yes: sir: it is the wee whis
per of a laugh." . .
'"Put money iu thy nurse, as the pick
pocket said when he roblied a man of an
empty ono. ' i ;
An Irish girt having been sent to the
postoffice for the man, camo back to in.
quire whether It wns Indian mall' or corn
mail was wanted. - .-.I ...
In the Testfbulo of a 'church in South
Gardner, Mass., may be seen the fellow-
insrif 'tNotlcel Persons chewlnr tobacco
'.wSl please spit In tjketo hats , . ; , .,.
rU.LIP II. WHITE. THOMAS O. JANVIER
WHITE & JANVIER,
DUALKUH IN
HARDWARE,
Cutlery & Agricultural
IMPLEMENTS.
HAUDWAI'K, CAUl'tNTEIW TOOLS,
POCKET ANL- TARLE CLTLKHY,
Gl'NS AND riSTOLS,
AMI AM, KINDS or AMMIWITTON
constant I) mi lisinl tit
WHITE & JANVIER'S,
ilcc.ST.W-ly. .TrKfrson flly, M..
C. W. THOMAS.
J. T. CnAVF.Sf.
THOMAS & CRAVEN,
PF.AT.EK9 I.V
STAPLE and FANCY-
GROCERIES,
WINES and LIQUORS,
CIGARS, TOBACCO,
CORN, OATS, SHORTS & BRAN.
Country Produce Bought for Cash
KxeliiHlvcly.
Cornpr flijrh mxl MihU-oii Str,M,t-j.
JEFFERSON CITY, MO.
W. R. HOPKINS, ,
Attorney at Law,
Real Estate and Collecting Agent.
Jefferson City. Mo.
ILL PAY TAXES ANT) REDEEM
lauds soli) fur taxes In any county iu the
temtc.
ltcfers to Messrs. Ctirrv A KIrhv. Tlnnkors.
.TpfTcrsmi Tltv. Mn. ' linn' fl. ft. Tt,mltt. M I '.
troni llo.; lion. Mack, J. Learning, Sedallu,
Mo. Ui!c.27,72-1.
N. C. BUHCH, ' 6. Oi BUKCII,
Att'y at Law, Kolary Puli. and Conveyancer.
N. C. BURCH &BRO., ;
Real Estate Agents.
JEFFERSON CITV, MO..
BUY ANU 8KLL LANIIS ON C'OMMIS
slou. l'av Tuxes. Ktileelli Limits Sohl fur
Taxes, Procure l'atcuts, ICxaiutiiu Titles, Knr
nlli Ahstrncts, lite. Have tho only Abstract ot
(illlce, aecouil flour Bchotfs Bullillnr. llltli
street. . ilce. !T, US'i-U
S. W. COX'S
Fire Insurance Agency
tTelFemon City, Missouri. ' -
Insurance Company of N. America, Pciiifvl- ,
vanut, eash capital OKiO.OllO.
Imperial Fire lusurauco C'oinpmiv of Loniloll,
England, cash capital, gold, Hii.Oon'.noO.
(lermania Fire Insurance Company of Xew
York, cash capita! ;t,ooo,noo.
American Ceutrnl Fire Insurance Coniu uiv of
81. Louis, cash capital assets, sH.joci.WM). .
Salut Joseph Fii'o liisurituvo Compauy,-e:ih
caiilial to0h,oo.
Traveler's Accident Insurance Company H,f
Hartford, Conn., cash capital a,non,ixi.
B. w. Cox, Autary I'ul'Uc. ice.-'.,n.
FRED ROMMEL, ,.
, DEALEU in . -'
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lEIUOWCALS, BLANK BOOKS, C1IKO-
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Frames niado
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All orders will receive piuunJ at-
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teiilion.
IIIGII STEEET, . ( '
dee.2T,'7My dCHerSOll City, 9tO.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY .'
; ' or -. "; ': ' ' " '
Samuel S. Hildebrarid,
'TOE BENOWKED
Missouri "Bushwhacker,"
AND UNCONQUERABLE HOD ROY OF
' " " AMEKIC'AI ' ' ' ' - - ' -
T3F.IN0 HIS COMPLETE COVFESSIOV
recently iiiune i iuv it,i-in, , .............
compiled by James W. Kvaus aud A. Wendell
Keith, M. D. i together with all Ibe facts etui-
CT-ifu w un ui, mi ,j iii-hm , .
larAgonU wauled to sell 'he "tax0 J4lr
rork. Address .
FHOMME A CO..'PublistlOTi "'
dec.ST,72-tf, Jenersou Ctty, Mo.