Newspaper Page Text
Uli Ixindon Times, which is the
articular and especial organ of
British interests, nuts the whole
money question in a nutshell as fol
lows: "It seems impossible to pet bimetal
lists to understand that there is quite
a largo number of us for whom a gen
eral rise of prices has no charms what
ever. We like them low, and the low
er the better. If they all went down
to half their present figures we should
rejoice, because we have nothing to
sell and a great many things to buy.
For those who have things to sell we do
not feel any great concern."
Now, says the Atlanta Constitution,
this is all there is in the whole business.
The London Times speaks for what is
technically known as the city the
banking interests the interests of
Lombard street. When It says "we
have nothing to sell," it speaks for the
large and growing class in this coun
try and in England that produces noth
ingthe class that collects its aunuities
and clips its coupons, having nothing
to sell and everything to buy.
Honest people ought to be thankful
to the Times for speaking out so plain
ly. It states the whole case in a nut
shell. It speaks for the whole class of
those who have nothing to sell, but ev
erything to buy. This class, represent
ing one man in every one hundred thou
sand of the world's population maybe
less, is undoubtedly right in desiring to
make prices lower and lower all the
time. They care nothing for the pro
gress of tiie world, nor for the state of
business. All that they are Interested
in is the increase in the purchasing
power of the money in which their
debts, and the interest on them, are
That is the main thing. They do not
look to the future, nor do they antici
pate a moment when their debtors will
be unable to pay in gold. They know
that if liquidation oecins they will get
in the neighborhood of gold values for
whatever may be realized, and so they
are content to wag along under the
gold standard, which makes money
dealers richer and all producers poorer, i
The Constitution has stated hereto
fore that the money question was mere
ly a question of prices a simple con
test between those who deal in money
and those who buy money with the
products of their laboi-. The London
Times, the organ of the British gold
nionometallists, makes this perfectly
plain when it says that "a general rise
in prices has no charms whatever." No
charms, of course, to the creditor class,
for then debtors would be able to pay
their debts on easier terms. Producers
would have to give a less quantity of
their cotton and wheat in order to pro
cure a given quantity of debt-paying
and taxpaying money.
When the Times says that "a gen
eral rise in prices has no charms what
ever," it means that general prosperity
in the Tinted States has no charms
whatever for the British shylock. We
have no criticism to offer on the some
what seltish remarks of the Times.
From the point of view of an organ of
British interests the Times is undoubt
edly correct. A general rise of prices
in the United States or, what Is the
same thing, general prosperity instead
of helping Great Britain, would hurt it,
and hurt it very seriously. It would
have to give a larger amount of gold for
our products for our cotton and wheat
-and as a result, its profits would be
tremendously cut down.
Great Britain is the buyer of cotton,
wheat and other staple commodities,
and the people of the United States are
the sellers. A general rise in prices
would bring about general prosperity
here at the expense of Great Britain.
The gold nionometallists would declare
that we had no sound money; but prices
would be sound, and Great Britain
would have to give up her "sound"
money in order to obtain our cotton
and ur wheat.
The whole business is as simple as a
Mini in addition to those whose minds
are not confused. England, being the
buyer of our food products and of our
raw material, is interested in low
prices. The people of the United States,
being the producers of food products
and the raw material that Great Brit
ain is obliged to have, are interested
in higher prices.
By remonetizing silver, they can, at
one stroke, secure higher prices and a
return of prosperity. The question is,
will they allow the politicians to fool
them in this business?
Not a Novelty.
bimetallism is no novelty. It is -1,-r0J
years old. Cold monometallism is
not yet 00 years old in this country, not
'Si years old. Ilimetallism for centur
ies was a triumphant success. If we
may judge by the conditions prevailing
in the treasury nt Washington gold
monometallism is a failure.
The Director of the Mint has shown
that the world now produces as much
gohl as its total product of gold and
silver In ISOo. This means that the
world's business is thirty years ahead
of its supply of standard money. It Is
leyond dispute that If gold should be
generally demonetized. It would lose
value as silver did. Why should men
deny, with respect to silver, that which
they must admit with respect to gold?
The stock of wheat Is not enlarged
by issue of elevator certificates. The
stock of sound money cannot be in
creased by the emission of pamper notes
and other bank credits. A vegetarian
who would starve to death when beef
was available, because he could not get
vegetables, would be pronounced a
fool. A nation is not less foolish if it
permit scarcity of gold violently to Iis
order its business when it may have
security and peace by using silver with
gold. The period of greatest prosperity
the world ever saw followed immcdi
ntely upon discovery of gold and silver
deposits in the West. No nation ever
had, or can have, too much metal mon
ey. We have deliberate! v discarded
half of that which the Creator gave to
us. Manufacturer, Philadelphia.
Puzzle of the Period.
w ny was silver demonetized? Who
wio were the beneficiaries? Who
Why was a prosperous industry crip
Why does everybody favor bimetal
Why do some who faver (':) it oppose
Why does everybody admit demone
tization was wrong?
Why do so many of them assent to its
Why, If it was wrong, can it not bo
ho stands in the way of It, and
Who is running this country, any
Who are they running it to benefit?
Why should the English banker be
more favored than the American silver
Why should the United States Gov
eminent stand in with the Englishmen?
Why do bankers assume the aver
age citizen has no sense?
Why does the average citizen submit
to such an assumption? These are the
puzzles of the period.
This Is a Clincher.
The Denver News says that one of the
arguments now floating about the coun
try as a clincher upon the advocates
of free coinage is that a very large
proportion of all bonds and other In
struments of indebtedness is payable
specifically in gold. We are asked what
good it would do to restore bimetallism
since those debts must be met in one
metal only. Those who advance this
statement do not seem to realize that
the trouble lies in the appreciation of
If silver were restored to an equality
with gold as primary money the appre
ciated quotation of the yellow metal,
due to Its being the sole money of final
redemption would fall. Gold would
come down. Sixteen ounces of silver
would buy an ounce of gold. In rela
tion to all manner of commodities gold
would fall likewise and a bushel of
wheat would exchange for as nearly
as much gold as It will now procure. It
follows, therefore, that the redemption
of bonds payablo in jrold could practi
cally be made In gold or silver. An
automatic law would quickly adjust
the relations of gold with other pro
ducts of human labor and strip the
metal of the valuation given to it by
the selfish legislation In the interest of
the gold owners.
When Will We Pee?
At Berlin, at Vienna, at Paris, one day
last week the Eastern question had so
unsettled the stock exchange that
shares fell L'O, 22, 40 and 4 florins and
that "since the memorable collapse of
1S73 no such startling panic had oc
curred at Vienna." It is only two
years since our panic was induced by
shipping gold to Austria "to put her
linn neos on a sound money basis."
When will common sense open its
eyes and see the position to which gold
legislation has brought the world that
the finances of the world are so in the
hands of the brokers and speculators
in stocks that a war rumor is in danger
of bankrupting business everywhere.
In Europe all governments but Kussia
belong to the gold syndicate and a crisis
anywhere breeds. In the language of
the press dispatches ruin. And yet
every effort is now being made to In
clude the United States in this "ruin."
Bussia is free from it because she Is a
silver nation makes and uses Iter own
The Way It York9.
If the people have confidence In the
banks to leave their deposits with
them, and the banks have confidence
in the people enough to loan freely, and
in each other so as to work together,
everything may move swimmingly.
Iiut if one-eighth of the deposits
should lie withdrawn, it would call for
all the actual cash in the vaults. It
would compel the banks to call in loans
In even greater pniMrtion. It would
mean hardship und trouble, especially
for those who are weak financially anil
dependent on their credit.
Or, if the banks become frightened
ns they did In 1 (mul they always
stand on ticklish ground), they may
precipitate disaster for all the weak
and dependent, both among themselves
and their customers.
Why is the practice of the Chinese
In making the feet of their females fit
their shoes and not making the shoes
fit the feet, like the gold standard?
Because the gold standard makes the
business of the country fit the volume
of money and does not make the yol-.
umo of money fit the business of the,
country. Silvcv Knight.
WOBK OF COXGItESS.
MEMBERS OUTLINE WHAT WILL
1 BE DONE.
Pome of the More Important M fas
nrcs to He Introduced by Senator
and Representatives TlieSliip Caaal
Project to Keccivo Attention.
Capital City Clint.
sl.ingt"!! corn spon. I.T.eo:
Till- coii'.'llg m-s-sion
of the 11"
to be full of int r
stinir work tor its
lu e 111 b e r s. and
fr in first t last
will hold th atten
tion of people gen
erally. With a
view of getliiig :i1-van-e
t h e writ r lias
niale inquirh-s of
a ii'iniher f th
1 i s t i n g u i shod
members of I - - r :
houses for a fair
tlino ..f tii.t !.-...
ion of interest to
na.le to th,-se in-
the main in uv..
tlie p'opu-. Aiiswts
quiries ty Senators ami
substantially agn-e in
things. One is that ihe rvemioi of iln
(Joverninent must be in reasnl. Tin
other is that the outl..k for general legis -
lation is poor. The sess .n i.roinises io
be one of inactivity, enlivened by stage
plays in the interest of parties and Presd-
While there is general agreement that
the revenues should be inrasd the
manner of providing this increase prom-
ises to make a .nlli t between Congress
and the Prcsi.lcnt right at the start, for
many IlcpuhhYnns insist that the revenue
bill shall be' drawn on probation lims,
and there is an intimation of a possihl
conflict and even deadlock between the
President ami Congress on this question.
The principal subjects singie! out fr
tariff protectiou are lumber ami wool.
There are aaggestmns also of an incivased
tax on ter for the purpose of increasing
Cuba, Venezuela ami the Monroe do
trine promise to furnish suhicient mate- j
rial for discussion and for resolutions.
The Nicaragua Canal, a railroad pooling
bill and the T.mon Pacific situation will
receive attention, r.s will also the pension
question. An effort will be made to de- i
.:v l. z , : :. r n r !
- - - i
lint? iu- ouiuiisMoiiT oi t ensions oi
the right to cut off pensions arbitrarily or
to reduce their allowances. It looks as if
the question of retiring the greenbacks,
if pressed by President Cleveland, as it
probably will be, will overshadow in im
portance the silver question. It may be
made one of the leading issues in the next
campaign. On the whoh very little legis
lation of importance may be expected
KFFECTS OF CLOSING CHICAGO
roni the coming session cf Congress.
Fortunately the party strength is so di
vided between the two houses and the
Executive that very little dangerous or
disturbing legislation need be feared.
Treasury Stock Is Sinking.
Itecent withdrawals of gold for export
y .New j orli tanking houses have re
duced the balance in the treasury to $S'.J,-
43'J,0.D, which is about SlUMUMK) below
the lawful reserve, and within $1-1,0 i0,-
0U.) of what is cmsih-rel the langer
mint. The bullion iu the vaults is valued
it $."i4.0SS,7.'U) ami the cun was $SS,07:?,-
04H before the witlnlrawals of Saturday,
of which J?.VJ,.,.'S,7;,J represents outstaml
ing gold certificates. This leaves a mar
gin of less than ?::;. if Hl,MiO in coin avail
able for the redemption of greenbacks
and other United Stats notes. All the
minis have been working stealily
through the summer coining gold with the
hope of escaping nnother sueh eniergem'y
as occurred in February, when coin had
to be borrowed frm trust funds to re
deem notes ami replaced with bullion.
The shipments of gold last week
amounted to $.'.'-' '7 .0 M. ami it is expeet
el that they will reach JjC.Ooo.mo this
week unless something unusual happens
to affect exchange. It is belieretl, too.
that the flow eastward will con1inu at
the rate of ho,immi or $l.MH),tXH) a
wecK uuring ine remainder ot nie year,
and after the first of January, when divi
dends are payable, it will be even great
er. The best authorities anticipate a de
pletion of the treasury gold to $."iO,0N,
C(K or ?(,0MMXM before Feb. 1, unless
some action is taken to stop it or replenish
the reserve by the sah of bomls. N aid
can be expected from the public revenues.
The lelicit is piling up larger and larger
The exjmrts in October were only .?1'J,
OOO.tKH) in ex-'ss of the imjMirts, while
they were 2.'t,( '.' ,1. 'ft in excess during
the corresponding month last year. Fr
th ten months of 1S!Ci cnel Oct. Ill the
balance f tral' in our favor was only
$;J1,11J,7-Il), while during the correspond
ing period in IM t it was $1H .) 5 1, .';, ami
this difference is not sufficient to settle
balances in Europe and meet mercantile
obligations. Assistant Secretary Curtia
went to New York last week to confer
with the bankers of that city concerning
this situation, and he was advised by
every one that it would be necessary for
the treasury to issue another loan In order
to maintain the Government credit until
Congress tnkes snie action. The same
syndicate that has been supporting the
treasury all summer and manipulating
exchange so as to prevent the withdrawal
of gold is willing to come to the relief of
the Government again on much better
terms than they demanded last February,
111 II (I 11 L II
1 1 W 11 v V
3 ' s A ra lfotli''. ,
bv.t st'pnlntos that action be tflken at once
bf-fore public :itilon-e is unsettled and
the reserve is ivdu-ed below the danger
I-.inr. They agree to furnish -", U.H0
( " exchange tor Sil i.ooo.i m n)
1 per iit. bonds, and it is be
the President will accept their
effer without taking the risk tint he did
j i".riy in the year, and then call niton (Vh-
j j. i::i;i!!fiit rli f.
! l"o- -w York 'ank-rs i'. Iii Mr. Curtis,
, ?l:;.t while the Io ermiiej.t .i.i place
b'tv1- :it the rate of :, per eont.
v. iii ! e.peü. d to pay ::1 least
-. ?! i' the reserve i rei!uvd below .t'.1.-
'i i: I w t: ) ii the a 1 :n i ii ist ra; ion gets
i.:t '!.e vime ii as it w is in last IV'ira
:'; y In v, ill be e: t; npel U d to make auoih-
: .; r;1. : sii'iM.i r to .'-a I i : :i ! t h : i with
M e ru a n-P.- v. n r s v u ! i
C'arlcr's Two Hat.
Tie- lion. Thomas II. 'artr. th1 mem
ber of th' I ' i : 1 1 m 1 States Senate from
M -atana and the ehairman f the Ib-pub
;:ü .;i'.:-nai i oi.i
mi'lce. wears two
hats. The change
is made wlie:i he
crosses tie Nsth
meridian of longi
tmie. hie is of lll'
kind. about th
m 'do. ,'os
III"! il 1 "(l!ll -.f
' f ÄI
j fap of leather. .'W
! In h may be tignt- JI&l)
: t'!"'1 "r i t ont to ,.
T. II. ( AHTEi:
; alt-atiot,s iu Si rnator ( .'arter "s head. That
! is tue hat he wears in Montana, whore
: J"' s i ooys. inriKs ins wuiskj
j straight, chew.s plug tobacco, greases his
! ',,M,tsi Jl,1'l us,s double negatives and oth-
cr tonus t lal grammar, lint as Jie
r.sses tTie SMh meridian this hat is
1 f"hh'd up can-fully anl tucked away in
I tlu l" ket of his gripsack, so that he may
' resume it wh-n he reaches the same point
on his next journey westwanl. At the
same time Mr. Carier folds up his frontier
manners and lays them aside to keep un
til they are nt eded again. His other hnt
is a sleek and glossy example of the
stovepipe variety, cut after the pattern of
tiiit which the Duke of Marlborough
wore at his wedding. This he onlv wears
in the East, when he puts on a bold face.
white shirt, and his manners are those
of a prosperous New York banker.
SUNDAY SHAVING LAW INVALID.
Decision by a Chicago Judge that the
I;iv Is CI.iKH LiCiiKlatioii.
Judge GihW.ns, of Chicago, in a careful
ly written opinion, holds that the Cody
law, making it a misdemeanor for a bar
ber to shave a man on Sunday, is class
legislation and invalid. This is the result
so far of the fight waged by Chicago bar
bers against the law. The case will be
reviowd by th Supreme Court next.
Tin? Judge, in the course of ins opinion,
said: "The basic question of this case is,
Can the Legislature single out anv one
calling or avocation, which in and of it-
1 Uu "ft VcjÄZ5?. I
IiAlHJElt SHOPS ON SUNDAY.
self is not harmful to others, and make it"
the subject of special legislation. It can
nt be urged that barbering is a pursuit,
inimical in itself to the health r morals
of the community ns it has long been
recognized as a handiwork that verv ma
terially ministers to the cleanliness and
comeliness of the human familv.
"In truth, we find that. this ocfrpation
was known to man long before maur of
the learned professions found a place in
human economy. The prophet Ezokiel
said: 'And thou, son of man. take thee
a sharp knife, take thee a barber's razor.'
anl cause it to pass upon thine head and
upon thine board.' The courts cannot take
cognizance of the moral aspect of the
case, even though a seventh day of rest
seems to be established by divine decree
or natural necessity."
SINGULAR RAILROAD ACCIDENT.
iwevaiiM Aram ras lies j iiroucrn a
Station and Falls to the Street.
A remarkable accident oecurrel about
two weeks ago in Paris, by which an en
gine and tender were precipitated from
an elevated platform at the Montparnasse
station. Ihe train rolled into the train
shed at a rate of about thirty-five miles
an hour without being able to arrest it-
sel, crashed through the bumpers at the
end of the track, as well ns the front wall
of the station, ami after traveling about
forty-five feet tumbled into the street be
low, the engine fairly on its nos?. For
tunately at this moment the air brake was
put on and the rest of the train was pre
vented frm going over. It was to this
circumstance that the 12.' passengers in
the coaches owe their lives. As to the
engineer and fireman they were saved
by being thrown from the engine at the
first shock and the only fatality, strange
to say, that resulted fnun the whole
affair, was the killing of a merchant in
the street below by the fall of a block of
stone detached from the wall by the
shock. The cause of the accident quite
the most singular in French railway an
nals is attributed to a defect in the hand
brakes, which, strange to say, are always
used on French trains, save in cases of
emergency, when the air brakes arc called
into play, and in this case the air force
could not be applied quickly or effectually
Romantic Miss Have there not been
moments In your experience when life
seemed full of unsatisfied wants? Mr.
Hardhead Y-e-s, that's so. Roinantlo
Miss At such times I always fly to mu
sic for relief. "What do you do, Mr.
Hardhead? Mr. Hardhead I adver
tise. ttenoboth Sunday Herald.
TWO WONDERFUL CITIES.
The Iiecin iiing: and Growth of Milwau
kee and Chicago.
The celebration at Milwaukee of her
fiftieth anniversary as a oily brings t
mind the great questum which agitated
Easp-rn people going West lifty years
ago. Iletwtvu Piioaml lsö there was
a great division of opinion among the
Ohioans. Pennsylvanians. New-Yrk-rs
and New-I'nglanders who were con
templating following Horace (Jreehy's
advic of going West and growing up
with the country as to which of th- two
Milwaukee r Chicago, would
be tin' b-ading city n th wesi shore of
Lake .Michigan and keep the lead. The
niajmity of them were of opinion that
Mflwaukee was the coming city f the
great West except t. Louis, which
would fJtand first.
Th tnt of the immigrants of that
day looking for homes cam West by
water, taking steamer at Clcvelaml or
Buffalo. The first place at which they
stopped was .Milwaukee. They found
it lo.-ateI on high grouml, well drained,
ami a very handsome sit' for a great
eity. From there they usually went ut
to IIh k Itiver, thence to the Mississippi
n-ir Galena, tbeiice down to U k Isl
and, thence across the prairies eastward
to 'hicago. ami from here back home
again to Cleveland or Buffalo by steam
er, for there were no railroads then to
lvturn by on the west sile of lh' lake.
Those travelers in tin majority of cases
relatl that tlu-y hal found Chicago a
low, damp. Hat, swampy, undraiiiod
pla and with a bad climate on ac
nv.tnt of the dampness, but all the same
a bustling, brei-zy place, and its pev
ple having an anticipation of good times
coming when the Michigan canal
should be finished. They lidn't like its
woohn buildings, erected on posts, or
its lmanl pavements, its wooden sile
walks on stilts of varying h'ight, its
Gwatnps and its sand dunes about Calu
met, as compared with the dry soil,
rolling prairies, beautiful little lakes,
and lin country west of Milwaukee:
but they wer1 forcel to confess that
Chicago was full of wide-awake, bust
ling real estate agents, lawyers, mer
chants, buihlers. bankers, etc.
It also made a great impression upon
tourists that Milwaukee was lm miK-s
nearer to C!vel.tnl and Buffalo by wa
ter than . hicago. ami that it hai a
better harlmr ami entrance and deeper
water for vessels, while the Chicago
Biver was a narrow, crooked, shallow,
Thf se were in substance the opinions
if i he majority of the tourists who fifty
years ago were contemplating moving
vestvanl of Lake Mh-higan from the
older States, and who came here to spy
out the himl. Later the news came that
the Illinois and Michigan Canal was
completed. and was bringing grain from
the interior of the State and tobacco
from St. Louis to Chicago, that there
was much business being transacted
here, and that the city was forging
ahead of Milwaukee.
In 1R1Ö the latter had about lO.om
population and was rapidly growing.
wiill among the swamps, sand dunes.
and bog holes of Chicago at that time
there wer about the same cumber, or
Before the enl of the forties travelers
reported tha Chicag was in the lead;
that trade was pouring In by the canal
ami that the people were talking of
railroads. By lsr,o Chicago had l).n"0
people and Milwaukee about 15.000,
and the latter reluctantly acknowledg
ed that itlooketl as though Chicago was
in the lead. In 1S.". Chicago had close
to ÖO.oiH), while Milwaukee had but 20,
w. Mien the finding of rivalry in
Milwaukee ceased. There was no longer
a question which city would be the
metropolis of the lake region. But
-Milwaukee has kept along at a good
fair jg pace, and is now a beautiful
city of over 12." f ,( m m people, while Chi
cago in the same period has niale her
wonderfully prosperous and successful
march, ami now has over 1,'oo.mn) In
habitants, and proposes to round the
century by passing the .two million
mark. The one and a half story wood
en houses of 1S45 are giving place to
the s-ixteon and twenty storj' steel
structures of 1JSUÖ.
'Dear mo," he whispered, "do jou
th.nk if I married you your father
would ever forgive us?"
"I'm sure he would, dear," she
"And would he give us a house of
our own .'
"I know he would, dearest."
-ul would he give us enough to
live beautifully on?"
"I'm sure of It, Harry."
"Ami would he take me into the
"Certainly he would."
"And let me run the business to suit
Of course he would, darling.". She
led to his bosom, but he put her
I can never marry you," he said
hoarsely. "Your father Is too willing
to get you off his hands."
A child's obstancy does not always
bring as fortunate results as was the
case with Handel, the great musician.
His extraordinary resoluteness as a boy
doubtless led to that great success
which crowned the later years of his
life. When he was some seven years of
age his father had occasion to visit a
sn by a former wife, who was valet to
the Duke of Saxe Weisscnfels. Trav
eling In those days two hundred years
ago was tedious and expensive, and
Doctor Handel did not desire to be de
layed with the care of an "Infant"
during a Journey which the demands
of a responsible profession would prob-
ibly make as short as possible.
But the future giant of music would
go. lie cried, bellowed, and eventual
ly ran along the road after the vehicle,
until the tender feelings of the doctor
could refuse no longer. In an evil mo-
raent for his Jurisprudence scheme ha
took the child with him.
No sooner did the little fdlow reach
the ducal residence than he gave rein
to his fancy on the keys of every in
strument that In- found open. The re
markable music hat t-.s me from :be
lingcr-tijv. f the hild's hands was svn
th- .bj.'i-: of wonth-r and con versa; ion
throughout iho pala- and all this was
intensified wh'u he se ui'i an oppor
tunity of touching tiie keys .f the
iiap 1 .rgan within tko hearing .if the
Sih-l.i a throb tarted fr.:n that i-hapc?
little Han.:. i"s ; iidr:l!'.l
tit.- keys, an! the 'il .f
the iluk.' was tu in-d a u-v'i 3:ad
b'cii toiniie.l before. Truly a lmun.-i:-tons
Mvunvr.cc. sin.v but f..r it Han
lTs sa-rel mush- might never have
been w lit t ti.
The duke's attention having 1 n ar
rested, he iinjuiivd r I-c-or Handel
om-ernitig the child's future, and even
tually suv'olel in placing him for
three years' study uiuhT Za. hati. the
organist of Halle 'aihelral. This was
the beginning .f Han.hd's musical üu
cation. Old AVudsivuth.
Y orlswrth's contemporaries in the
Lake Ib'gion knew very little about
him. and cared less. it was "Mr.
Wudswuth. stanip-niaisT'r. him o
Kydal" whom tlu-y knw. not th p.et
laurcate. In. h '!. one veoman who
went out of Iiis way to attend a politi
cal meeting, to be ahlivssHl by the
latt'r. was heanl t 'Xcl:iitn:
"Schaff on it! It's nobbut old Wuds
wuth ' liydal. efter aw!"
Ami heartily indignant with himself
f r coining, he left the meeting.
As f.r his j try. it was 'aw reet
eiu'tif. but ni'.-r stuff, varra." and they
could not believe that when the tit for
making it was .n. W.rdsvrih was in
his right miml.
"Aw yes." they would say. "I larsny
lie's quite s'iisibl.. whiles; if ya nobbtlt
catch him reef, he'll talk as plain :w
oyder you r me!"
One day. Hartb-y Coleridge appared
in the studio of an :n-:isr frti-tnl nt
Ambleside, and was at -n.v accost et I
with t h qimry :
"Well, what's the news this morn
ing';" "Your in.juiry reminds me of an an
swer I've just had t the same." he
answered. "As I was walking hwn. I
came upon a poor man from Rydal.
breaking stones. Like you. I s::il:
"'Cood morning. .lohn; what news
have you this morning':' and Jlm an
swered: "'Why. nowte varra partie'lar. or.ly
old Wutlswuth's broken lov-e
The best household mistress is tin1
woman who has a pra ii al knwl'Ige
of household duties.
A knowledge of cookery will enable
her t point out to ineflicient cooks tin
cause of mistake and failure: and sh.
should not only know how thing!
should look and taste when sent i v
table, but be able to judge of and
choose well every kind of provishm.
It will not be easy for coks to im
pose on a lady who knows exactly how
much of every Ingredient is reipiisiio
V'T euch dish, ami who is able t sti
mate the quantity of foo.l requiretl
daily for her household.
It may not in all circumstances be
necessary for a lady t exercise her
knowledge in ihso matters, and, if
she has a cook who has proved herself
trustworthy, she will do weil to l-h--
gate large powers xn her: but it is obvi
ous that to jmlge tlm skill ami horn-sty
of her cook the lady must possess :1m
The King's Revenge.
An amusing .-tory comes from the
Court of Italy. For some time past
Queen Margherite had been very much
concerned at tiie extra nünary rapidity
with which the hair of King Humbert
has been whitening.
What could she do? Womanlike, she
saw only one remedy hair dye- ami
she suggested the il-a to tin King,
Ullt his majesty objected t being re
juvenated by any such prcess.
One of her relatives, a young prim e.
suggested strategy. lie knew, lie said.
of a splendid colorless dye which she
could piece on the dressing-table f th
King, ami he would lis it without
thinking as an ordinary hair brush.
But his majesty got wind of the af
fair, and laid a counterplot. The Queen
had a little white log with long hair.
He inveigled it into his dressing-room.
applie! the famous hair dye, ami turned
the log into her majesty's a part incuts
in a coat of splendid jet black.
'Do you know what tankage is?" askd
one of the customs inspectors f the re
"Something to do with a tank':"
"(Jive it up; what is It?"
"Well, I lidn't know before to-day,"
continued the Inspector, "but I was
down abarl of n vessel to-day. a coast
er bound to the eastward, and was in-
fonncHl by the captain that he had 300
bags of tankage aboard. Then he ex
plained that tankage is nothing more
nor less than dried blood. It Is procur
ed at the abattoirs at Boston and other
ports and taken to Boothbay. where it
Is used in the manufacture of fertiliz
ers." Daily Eastern Argus.
Up with the Lark" a Mistake.
That much celebrated bird, the lark-
is quite a sluggard, as It does not rise
until long after the chaffinches, linnets,
and a number of hedgerow birds have
been- up and about
If you want to feel kindly towarda
the world, do not give myone a chance
to rob you.
Every woman temporarily renews
her youth when reading a good lovo