Newspaper Page Text
'I. I ..II i 1
f1 J 1 H J I
jyii ljlj juiyiAiv
) Intnrvlnulnn an Actress.
Interviewing an Actress
The beautiful actress was taking
jfeer morning lounge. The maid en
tered and approached tho presence.
' ""Mlsa Footlltes."
j -"What is It, Luclle?"
J ""A reporter wants to know if it is
jtne that you aro engaged to the duke
"Tell him I don't know the duke
mud givo him a photo of myself in
street costume. State that I havo nev
er met tho duke and givo him a photo
tot myself on horseback. State also
&kat I wouldn't marry tho duko if I
f4i& know him, and give the reporter
;a jifcoto of myself holding Fldo. And
jlals, above all, Luclle."
. "Tell him I am wedded to my art"
New Job Was Safe.
A mnnwho goes up to Maine each
:yer for hunting was quite surprised
.this season upon arriving at tho vlj
ijage hotel to find one of the old and
ifeest known guides loafing about idle.
"Well, Lafe," asked the visitor,
"don't you guide hunting parties any
"No, I givo it up," slowly answered
X&fe. "Got tired of being mistook
for a deer."
"I don't blame you. How do you
7arn your living now?" '
"Guide fishing parties now. So fer
jBohody ain't mistook me fer.a fish."
Knowledge a Dangerous Thing.
1 suppose," Bald the man who was
lounging in the garage, "that before a
jo&a buys an automobile ho ought to
learn all about its working parts and
a complicated machinery."
Tm not so sure about that," guard
'dly answered the keeper of the es
.t&bUshment. "If he does, by George,
Ike chances are that ho won't buy It!"
Jenkins Jigson has a good many
revolutionary ideas in his head.
Jackson Those aren't ideas revol
jving Jn his head. They are wheels.
Taking No Chances.
"Behold the doughty doughnut,
Reposing on tho shelf!
'JTou'ro welcome to such weighty food
3 pass it up, myself.
Her Hint. ' -
"God never intended man to live
-jOeae," ho said.
"I suppose not," she sadly replied,
juad I often wonder if he really ln-
ite&ded that so many married women
.should live alone."
Then ho thought better of it and de-
Med not to go downtown that night
'WeIl, if I must die," said the man
TOhofi doctor had given him up, "I
Jsave ono satisfaction. After I'm gono
Aobody will ever he able to find a
gpfeotograph showing me with one
jfciter against my cheek as if I wero
trying to think I looked thoughtful."
"Henry, hero's a hair on your coat!"
""Yes, dear, it's ono of yours."
"23ut It's a blonde hair and my hair
"X know, dear, but you must remem-
TIhw I haven't worn this coat before
m month." .
Jt was a girls' basket ball team and
3piay had been strenuous. "Irene hat
gtateted!" cried some one.
eady, girls," said the captain.
Wve her a little air and pass the
More Serious Lees.
The train puffed cityward from the
' "'Toa look downeasC said the first
-pwimer girl. "Have yea left your
-"eart behind V
"Xeft my best parasol I K snapped the
yeeesd euamer girl, with a frown.
' Mrs. Sutton advertised for a woman
to do general housework, and In an
swer a colored girl called, announc
ing that ehohad come for tho posi
tion. "Are you a good cook?" asked Mra.
"No, indeed, I don't cook," was tho
"Aro you a good laundress 7" "
'I wouldn't do Tvashln' and Ironln';
lt'3 too hard on tho hands."
"Can you sweep?" asked Mra. Sut
ton. "No," was the positive answer. "I'm
not strong enough."
"Well," said tho lady of the house,
quito exasperated, "may I ask what
you can, do?"
"I dusts," came tho placid reply.
"Do you remember," she asked
when they met after the lapse of
years, she having becomo a widow and
he having romalned a bachelor, "do
you remember that evening, long ago,
when you and I walked in the gloam
ing?" "I remember tho swamp we walked
into, but I don't remember the gloam
ing," ho replied'.
Then a fond hopo died In her breast
and she turned away to mako herself
agreeable to others.
Jimmy What made Blackhack give
up der pickpocket profession?
Larry Why, de gang kidded him bo
I much. Ho actually thought a man re-
turning from his summer vacation had
money and tackled him.
Patrice is fat
And she's a sight
Whene'er she wears
A skirt that's tight
A clerk in a bank appeared before
the bank president with. j three days'
growth of beard.
"James," said tho president, "you
will havo to get shaved."
"But, sir," replied James, "I am
growing a beard."
"You may do what you like at
home," snapped tho president, "but
you must understand that I'll not
havo you growing a heard during offlco
hours." Judge. S
"What aro those notches on your
pistol handle?" Inquired tho girl who
Was spending the summer in tho far
"Fair game." answered tho cowboy.
"But what are them notches on your
' "Fair game," answered tho girl '
And then he changed his mind about
proposing and strolled thoughtfully
Couldn't De Worse.
He I can't mako up my mind wheth
er to go in for painting or poetry.
She Well, if I might advise you,
He You've seen Bomo of my pic
She No, but I've heard of somo of
your poems. Fllegende Biaetter.
A BAD QUESS.
Guest Have you tho same cook you
had when I was here three months
Host Not by eighteen.
Where Is He?
Show me the man
Whose laugh is gay
When the wind has blow
Els wig away I
Undertook Too Much.
"Mlbbs, it seems, has' gone into
bankruptcy. What was the trouble?"
"Overconfidence. About six months
ago he got a new wife, and a new
automobile. He eould have pulled
through with either one alone, hut the
upkeep of the two smashed Ubs."
We fit yourNeigh-
bor's eyes with glass
es if they need them,
-an-ck would like tofit
without the Red
Tape and Extra price
that some Opticians
See us todayifj-you
At That Time, at Least.
He "Does a woman when she's
married expect her husband to tell
her his business affairs?" She "I
don't know; but a woman expects a
man to talk business when he's court
WXpliliP- r VAMiSnirB&
fcifiilll yfj 119
sfnsW j mpf
Dry Goods Department
One had as well try to describe the beauties of an autumn sun
Bet as to correctly set forth the many delightful features which are
Bprinkled over this department. But we can assure you that we
have the largest and moat complete line of DreBS Fabrics, Staples
and Accessories ever shown by us. '
Dress Fabrics Section
This section 1b full to overflowing with the most popular ehados
and weaves in all the season's newest shades.
We are showing a complete line of those much wanted Silks in
crepe Meteor and Onarmeuso patterns, the newest things in Bilks in
a range of colors ond prices that will please everyono.
This line embraces-all the desirable fabsics, shades and weaves
lor fall garment) Whipoordsv Servos, Diagonals, Cheviots, and
Wool' mixtures and Zlbeline oloth. , Prices from 15c to $2.60 per yd,
,. . Kid Gloves ; . .
Bo sure to see our lino of Import Kid Gloves. More real Glove
value'than you have ever seen for $r.OO and $1.50. .
We are showing a complete line of Bilk and Lisle Hosiery in all
graaes, but we wish to call your special attention, to our line of
Silk Hose at $1.00 the best value in the world for the mdney.
Mi All the latest in Dress Trimmings to match any of tho now
Ask to see'the Pneu-Form, the
wonderful Pneumatic Dress
Form - -
Wht Could H Man?
A young woman went to a grocery
store and asked the p61Jte clerk
he had Bome goqd cheese. "Jen, in
deed," no replied, "I have gome lovely
cheese. , "It is not correct to call
cheese 'lovely,'" pho said. "How Is
that?" ho inquired. "Because 'lovely
Bhould bo used to qualify only some
thing that Is alive," "Well," retort
ed the clerk, "I'll stick to 'lovely.' "
What He Was In For.
While mamma was preparing to en
tertain some guests' at a recent con
vention, five-year-old Willie was es
peclally annoying. Finally ho was put
to bed, and was thoro when the guests
arrived. "Well, my little man, are
you in for your little nap?" asked one 4
of the men.
"No, in for sassln'," re-
Eagle Nat Always Bravo.
Eagles are generally believed to be
very courageous. That they are not
always as brave as is supposed is
proved by tho following anecdote: A
naturalist tells of a combat between
ten missel-thrushes end a whito-tailed
eagle, in which tho latter was thor
oughly vanquished, and was discov
ered squatting down in a shed, whoro
ho had been driven in hope of refuge
from tho angry birds.
To Clean Fountains.
The best way to clean drinking
fountains which cannot be reached on
tho inside, Is to uso scalding hot wa
ter and a big handful of shot. Fill
the fountain about a quarter full of
hot water, and then pour In the shot.
Shake the vessel briskly so that the
shot will scrapo along tho bottom and
sides of tho fountain. This will ro
move the scum and leave the fountain
sweet and clqan. .. -
,' Nature Is Perfection.
. Ono cannot Improve onjiaturo. The
universal is not to bo corrected by
tho partial. ""
Ingenious Swindler. -
A laughablo and Ingenious fraudT
was played on two Glasgow (Scot
land) women tho other day. By rep
resenting to two housewives their hus
bands had fallen in tho Clyde, and
that ho had been sent for a chnngo
of clothing, a man named Young re
ceived from tho women tho clothes
asked, and appropriated them to hla
1 ItMBBaffflBrW biiiiiiiiiiiHbW.
The McLeod Store
MADISONVILLE Incorporated KENTUCKY
i..r.J. .. ;t.j
ESJBEttfP r TV WW?.1MHW
left mo with arfrfghtful cough audi
very wcqk. x tiatl spells v.'hui Xou1
hardly broatho or Bneak ftv 10 to
minutes. My doctot couicf not "u .,
mo, out x was compicti'iy enwu byf
Airs. J. JS. Cox, Jollct, IJI.
BOc AND $1.00 AT ALL DRUGGISTS. E
Kind Words. "
Kind 'wnrrtH ura (ha mnaln rt Vi
world, Th hRVe . , .
seems to he beyond natural caus8,
as if they were some angol's song
which had lost its way and come to
earth. It seems as If they could al
most soften the hard and angry hearts
of men. No one was ever corrected
by a sarcasm; crushed perhaps if the
sarcasm was cleyer enough,' but
"helped never, F. W. Faber.
"Pa, what's political knavery?"
"What tho other side's doing,- my
son.'' Birmingham Age-Herald.
Leonldas, king of Sparta, when de
fending Thermopylae against the Per
sian host under Xerxes, wns told by
ono of his soldiers that tho Persian
arrows wore so numerous thnt they
obscured tho light' of the sun. "Never
smlnd that," was the 'reply; "we shall
have tho advantage of fighting in the
What He Took.
"Going down the river to .spond
'Sunday with the folks.'r panted 'the
excited week-end Jauntcr, as he swung
aboard a moving car. "No. J don't
need nny luggage; afl I take for thede
'week-end excursions Is just a night-
brush and a tooth-gown."
To Pack a Trunk,
Take a couplo of horses the height
of a chair; they tako up little Bpaco i
In a storeroom. Uso them to set a
trunk on when packing It. It will savo
your wife many a backache and save
you or whoever retribvea it nfter It is
packed, from lifting it up from the
BeautifuJ Goods, Plump V alues
Buying goods at our store is not like
biting at a Hallowe'en apple floating ina
tub of water. You are always sure to get
what you want when you visit our estab
lishment You want good goods, correct
in style, and you . want an honest price
that's what you get when you deal with
us. Come and see our beautiful goods;
you will s buy them and come again for
A Clothing Message to Men
Let us decide the Clothing question for you this fall. Jn our
Men's Clothing Department we are showing Fail Suits and over
coats in greater variety and with greater distinctiveness than ever
bafqre m this store's history. We are also representatives of Kup
penhelmer, Griffon Utid other well-known makers of High-Grade
Clothing, whoaalbels are the best eufdes to correct styles, and
our high ataudard of Quality, Tailoring, Finish and Fit form the
foundation of which we have built up our large clothing business.
There is no question about tho fabrics, aB we only buy such
materials in selecting otir clothes as we can Absolutely Guarantee.
Our close margin of profits form the cornerstone of our suc
cess. Come In today and allow us to prove it to you. It's a pleas
ure to show you our merchandise.'
WHATEVER your Fall, wardrobe may require -you'll find it
here if anywhere. From our comprehensive showing of sults'and
overcoatB down to the smaller fixings, you're assured ota superb
Suits $12 50 to $25.00
Overcoats $10.00 to $25.00
Shoe Talk for Women
Hfo line of women's shoes more completely meets tho require
ments of the careful dresser than tho line, we are Bhowlng. Our
Btyles will always be seen in the front rank, on smartly gowned
young women. We have all the nobby styles In stock. Ask to see
the newest in foot-wear. 'Watch our windows. 4
THE FLORSHEIA1 SHOE FORTHE MAN WHO CARE8 IS
THE SHOE FOR YOU. - '
BUSTER BROWN SCHOOL SHOES. BOYS AND GIRL8
DON'T FAIL TO SEE BUSTER AND HIS DOG WITH US
OCT. 10. , i
i t 'ilj H'-'lotl'
Marking on Wjb
Tf ntivrtntt in vcur home unit fe nvro-
raph ofttnt. itte tt toi marking yor
hoy's hockey sticks basebau nnts, tjen
nfs rackets, and all such wooden
things. Printed nntnes can wrar or
bo scratched off, but when hurntid in
deeply the identification is thoro tej
Old Roman Ink,
Wax-coated tablets und the stylus
furnished tho material wherewith the
old Romans did their ordinary writing,
but for permanent records, there were
used a reed pen, parchment, and a
kind of liquid pigment or ink. Har
Young Husband "What a glorious
dayl I could dare anything, face any
thing on a day like this!" Wife .
"Come on down to the milliner's!"
Lace Workers of Smyrna.
Girls and women of Smyrna make
great quantities of lace. The work t
mostly done in their own homes.
... : J
"A hundred eyes are of no use un
less there are a hundred knot holes in
the fence," he mourned.
Few Millionaires In Japan.
The possessor of property valued at'
$150,000 Is counted rich in Japan, and
there Is only ono man whoso estate ot
about $40,000,000 ranks him with the
world's rich men.
Our idea of an jdeal marriage is
when a woman who is quick at rep
artee weds a man who is slow to aa
ger. Dallas Nows.
The Young and the Old.
The princlpnl trouble with a young
man Is that he declines to reallae
that ho will hnvo to grow old, ana
with an old ono his Inclination to
forget that ho ever was young.
, if Ave a hobby, yes, but don't Cf$p
pel other people to ride It.
- z .-3
Enjoyment Within Ourselves.
We havo much to enjoy in the quiet
and retirement of our own thoughts.
Irish Crochet Twist in White,
Cream and Ecru
fJBBBSXi SSSBBBBv7 rB
'n ji,. .-Sulk 1" '
in MHHHHIH nwyn n'jy
', -: ,w. ;'.- :m:'-
'fc - -m ir t 9 ar-rm :. t- " i