Newspaper Page Text
HOW THREE WOMEN
ENJOYED THE MUSIC
Three plump women, ranging in
height from 160 to 200 pounds, file'
In and, after much creaking of silk'
gowns and groaning of chairs, are seat-j
ed as the concert is about to begin.)!
First Plump Woman (breathlessly)!
""This is going to bo a perfectly,
grand concert. I'm so glad wo do-:
elded to como this afternoon, though
I was awfully afraid Mrs. Demlng
wouldn't send my gown home. It did
come, though, Just in time for me to!
dress. How do you Ilka it?"
Second Plump Woman "It's perfect-!
ly lovely. But then you always lopki
exactly Tight So woll'groomed, don't
you know, and all that Doesn't sho,i
Mrs. Tllden "It'fl the dearest thing;
I ever saw. You certainly have the
best taste in dress, Mrs. Snowdon.
Every time I seo Mrs. Snowdon, Mrs.
fThompklns, I say to myself: 'If I
only had such taste as she has' "
Mrs. Snowdon "How nlco you two
are I Of courso, I know you'ro just
saying it to mnke me happy, but then
Kb just as dear of you as if you meant'
It Now, I think you two are tho trim,
meat two women I know."
(Orchestra plays first number. At
Its close the three women give threo
sighs of appreciation or relief.)
Mrs. Snowdon "Pretty, wasn't lt7
I do just love Wagner. And whllo I
think of it, Mrs. Tllden, I want to ask
Nyou where you got that perfect dream
of a flchu you had on yesterday at the
tea. I'm crazy about it!"
Mrs. Tllden "Oh, do you really like
It? How sweet of you to say sol I
got the. lace in Paris and I had my
little seamstress make it, when I got
home. I think It's rather fetching."
Mrs. Thompklns "It's the dearest
thlngl Oh, they're going to play
again. I wish they'd wait a little long
er between the numbers.".
(Tho first violinist plays a solo.)
Mre. Thompklns "Isn't that violin
ist tho dearest thing you ever saw?
I simply ndore hjm."
Mrs. Snowdon "Yes, he's perfectly
sweet, but he has tho fuunlest looking
wife. Did you ever seo her?"
Mrs. Tllden "I should think I did.
I have very good reasons to remember
her. t saw her at tho tea Mrs. Du
pont gave for her, and ono of tho
maids spilled punch nil over my best
gown. It was never fit to wear after
ward." (Chorus of lamentations from tho
MrB. Tllden "And such a dowdy
thing as Bho Is, too. Really, her gown
was nothing but the plalnost kind of
silk. It looked as If Bhe had bought It
Teady made. Really, tho most ordi
nary looking thing."
Mrs. Snowdon "Funny, isn't it, how
queer theso artistic peoplo are about
their clothes? The only ono I over
knew who wasn't was the wlfo of that
artist who visited Mrs. Tolman last
winter. Do you remember what per
fect dreams her gowns were?"
Mrs. Tompkins (with Intense inter
est) "Weren't they! I never saw any
thing more beautiful than tho one Bhe
had at the reception Mrs. Tolman gave
(The orchestra rudely interrupts
Mrs. Tllden "Isn't that young flu
tlet absolutely tho most attractive
creature you ovor saw? Now, do tell
me about tho gown you wore speaking
of, Mrs. Thompklns. You know, I was
ill last winter and didn't go "to the re
ception." Mrs. Thompklns "Well, it was gor
geous, my dear. Simply too wonder
ful for words. It was tho most deli
cate Bbado of bluish lavonder a per
fectly Indescribable color. Marqui
sette over messallne, draped In tho
.most wonderful way, and caught up
with littlo bunches of chiffon, with a
violet fastened in tho center of each.
IWhat a catastrophe that you missed
Mrs. Tllden "I almost cried when I
heard about it I was tho most dis
appointed person you over saw. And
.usually Mrs. Tolman's affairs aro so
jdowdy. By tho way, there's Mrs.
OParks down there. Speaking of dowdy
people made mo think of her. Sho
'has less Idea of dressing than an oth
er woman I over knew. Actually sho
went to Mrs. Tuttlo's garden party last
Thursday in a perfectly plain Anon
'frock. Not even a suit, my dear just
a littlo linen dress, with some sprays
of embroidery on tho front panel. Can
you imagine Any ono doing such an
unheard of thing? I'm suro Mrs. Tut
tie felt it very keenly."
Mrs. Snowdon "Poor Mrs. Tuttlel
By tho way, I suppose you'ro both go
ing to the" Trenton's Friday evening?"
Tho Other Two "Yes, Indeed!"
Mrs. Tllden "I wouldn't miss it for
worlds. What aro you going to
Mrs. Snowdon "Oh, I'm havIng.Mrs
Demlngr freshen up my whlto voile
with somo now laces Just cheap lit
tlo lace, only $3.60 a yard, but I've
worn tho gown three times already
and I didn't feel Hko putting much
.money into fixing it up."
Mrs. Thompklns "I'm having a lit
tle gray chiffon made, and I really
think it's going to bo a very dainty lit
tle frock. Simple, of course, and in
expensive. I've made up my mind
that I Blmply won't spend more Vthan
$50 on it. But then I adoro simplic
ity. I simply will not fuss over my
Cloth 6S "
Mrs. Tllden "Nor Jf."
Mrs. Snowdon "I feel just th way
you do. That's why I adore living in
Forest View. I simply couldn't live
in a place where people judged you by
the clothes you wear. In Forest View,
you know, you really 'don't have to
'give your clothes a single thought"
O. A. Jones, who looks after a por
tion of tho Swenson Interests In
Texas, was bothered by thefts of
wood from thg Spur range He sont
out Al Sullivan, a cowboy, to catch
tho thieves. Within a fow days Al
brought ono in an old nester, dirty;
and ragged, with his toes out of his.
shoes and a tuft of hair showing,
through the crown of his hat
"I don't feel like sending you to
Jail," said Jones, "but you've got to bo
punished. Sp wo'U take a photograph
of you for the rogues' gallery."
The human scarecrow promised
complete reform and tboy stood him
up and took his picture.
About a woek later, still in his
rags, he stood beside tho rancher's
"What can I do for you?" Jones
asked, looking up.
"If you please, Mr. Jones," said tho
object, "kin you spare mo ono of
them pictures to send to my kins
folks?" Popular Magazine.
Didn't Get Much.
Maud I'm told I get my good looks
from my mother, :
Ethel I wouldn't repeat that if I
Maud Why not?
Ethel Peoplo will think .your moth
er was stingy.
Howe So tho famous baseball play
or ato a Welsh rabbit beforo retiring
and had somo wonderful dreams?
Wero his dreams characteristic of his
Wise I should say so. Why, ho
was pitching and tossing all night
Who's on tho go.
Both soon and lata?
Why, don't you know?
Figuring That Way.
Tho Btago manager was flirting with
tho soubrette when tho comedian came
"Three is a crowd," remarked the
stage manager, pointedly.
"In that case we havo a pretty
good audience tonight," said tho come
dian as ho peeped through the
Changs of Heart.
"Blinks has suddenly begun to take
a deep interest in tho welfare of his
"He used to say ho didn't caro very
much whethor tho ship of state foun
dered or not."
"That was before ho bought a sub
urban lot on terms of ,$50 down and $5
"Bllgglns,' when did you begin to
write stuff for tho papers?"
"Mo? Great Scott, old chap, I'vo
been doing It for moro than two
"Then there's no uso of my trying
to give you any pointers. I'vo been
at it only 45 years."
She This Is called "Lover's Leap."
I know a girl Who leaped over thero
onco for love of a Bweetheart
He It muBt have been leap-year,
Simple When You Know.
Tho secret of real beauty s
As plain as day.
Tou'vo merely to accomplish this:
Bo born that way.
Catholic Standard and Times.
An Earnest Actor.
"Rantlngton Roarer announces that
ho will retire from tho stage."
"Indeed. I havo often heard him
talk about elevating the stage, but I
didn't think he was serious."
"Why did you arrest this musoum
"For carrying concealed weapons."
" 'Taln't so. Jedee. You kin see for
lyoureolf I'm the Armless Wonder,"
If C Hiss?
Masonic Opera House
Thursday,. November 21, 1912
Those Funny Fellows, Fellows
WOOD and WARD
MISS FANNIE MERONEY
And The Texas Tommy Chorus
"The Indian Ballet."
Presenting that Everlasting Sing
ing Musical Tom-foolry
TWO MERRY TRAMPS
The Show With Siny Songs
2Two Heads are Better than Cue
Twelve Big Chorus Costumed
Song Hits and all of The Remick
Kind, Girls, yes, plenty of
'em, Singing Girls! Dancing
Girls! Show Girls! and them
some. Sec 'cm and get The
A Picnic tor Two, '
A Clean, Clever, Classy,
Comedy with a Jittle dash
of Ginger prices.
Prices, 25, 35, 50 and
it wtY iilTI lir Ifr
CO'ULD NOT SAY
NO TO ADELAIDE
Major Atkinson, according to his
wife's testimony, doesn't know how
to say no to Adelaide; his niece. This
assertion is borne out by the fact that
when Adelaide askod him to appear
In Juvenllo costumo at what she
called a "kid party," which sho was
fo give at his summer homo, ho con
sented with an outward smile ana an.
"1 wish,", he said, to his wife in pri
vate, "that Adelaide hadn't Insisted
upon my taking part In this rldlcu
Ioub affair of hers. In fact, I don't
Bee why she wants to give Biich i
"Why do you aid and abet her?" de
manded his wife. "When I suggest
ed that sho think of something newer
and more dignified, you immediately
aid, 'Let her have any kind of party
"Well, ono doesn't Hko to be always
.nterfering with her pleasures. There's
ao particular harm In her having a
eVfld's party, is there?- But I know I
shall feel llko a perfect idiot dresBed
In th6 Mttle girl's early Victorian cos
tume that Adelaldo has picked out for
ne." Ho gtefcood into tho mirror and
sighed as ho stroked hlB graying Van
Tho . afternoon of the party Ade
laide, after tying the strings of a
quaint little sunbonnet under tho ma
jor's beard, drew away and surveyed
him from tho top of tho sunbonnet to
the. tips of hl white stockinged and,
black slippered feet '4
"Uncle, you'ro certainly the most,
excruciatingly funny sight I ever be
hold," she declared. "I'm so glad I
found those pwitalottos In grandma's
old trunk. Thoy'ro perfectly killing.
JToull mako tho hit of the evening."
"I suppose I'm what you'd call a
screaming success," Bald the major,
somewhat wryly. "You don't think
I'm too completo, do you?"
"No, you'ro Just Just lovely," Ade
laide squeezed the largo sun browned
hand of her uncle, half of which was
neatly Incased in a white lace mitt.
"Jlnt with that cigar In your mouth
you're K plRht to behold."
"Well, 1 xr.Wl havo a little smoko
before your guests como, Adelaide.
I'll just tako'ujy magazine and read
and smoke on the lawn until tho;
A HttlA later, as Mrs. Atkinson and,
Adelaldo were putting tho finishing
touches on their own costumes, they
paw a striking looking, couple alight
from a motor car and approach tho
major, who rose with his accustomed
courtliness and greeted thGm.
"Good gracious, Adelaldo! Your
uncle appears to bo absolutely uncon
rolous of hl3 absurd attlro," exclaim
ed Mrs. Atkinson. "He I taking'
those" people around tho garden as
anccrsccrircdly ae if he wore dressed
In a bubtaoss suit The;' must think
be is crazy I Here. I'll Blip on a 1wujjtj
coat oyer my Bhort tikkt und run out;
and explain." j
Tho major welcomed his wlfo with;
a smile. "I'm glad you Joined us, my
dear, for I wlsji you to meet Profes
sor and Mrs. Lee of the university,
who havo heard flattering reports of
our garden and havo como way outi
from tho city to seo our rare roses.
Wo aro honored, I'm sure."
"I think," said Mrs. Atkinson to tho
visitors, after acknowledging tho in
troduction, "that you aro seeing some
thing else qulto as rare as our
roses." Sho laughed and looked at
"By. Jove, I'd forgotten this foot
rig," exclaimed tho major, with somo
temper. "I wonder what you can
have thought of mo."
"Well,." laughed Professor Leo, "tho
friends wfco told us about your roses
said that some of your neighbors con
Bldored you rather eccentric to de
vote so, much of your tlmo to flowors.
When wo introduced ourselves I
thought you wero perhaps a trlflo un
usual ir your dress."
"Unusual I I should think so." ex
claimed tho major. Then, turning
severely to hla wife, ho said: "I
can't seo, my dear, why you over per
mitted Adelaldo to go up such an
Idiotic party. I fear you give that
girl her head too much." Ho glanced
down at his costumo again. "This Is
really preposterous. Is that you call
ing, Adelaldo? Yes, we'll bo there at
once. You see, Mrs. Lee, tho party Is
beginning and I've promised my nleco
to bo In the grand march. You'll Join
us, wan't you?" Chicago Dally News.
Pat Funny Stories.
", Authors aro not abovo having a pet
story to bo told over and over again
on occasion and off, too. :
' Emerson Hough, who In his novels
deals with extremely serious topics,
has a keen senso of humor and nevor
tires of telling about a guide ho onco
had fi a fishing' trip In the Adlron
dacks. This gujdo had also ftcen em.
ployed by Qrover Cleveland and Dr,
Henry van Dyko of Princeton univer
sity. Shortly after the birth of Presi
dent Cleveland's littlo daughter the
chief executivb went on a fishing
trip and was delighted to learn that
his guldo had also become a father.
"How much did yoUr baby weigh at
birth?" asked Mr. Cleveland.
"Twonty-two pounds, sir,"' answered
"Twenty-two pounds!" exclaimed
tho prosldent, In amazement; "why,
my baby weighed but seven."
Welsh Language Dying Out.
SL'he decadence of tho Welsh lan
guage is evidenced by the statement
that about 85 per cent of the people
lof Wales know some English, whllo
nearly 50 per cent speak no. othei
Second Hand Shoes
Repairing done while you wait. AH work
guaranteed or your, money refunded.
Boston Shoe Rea.rin Sho
M. BASAN, Prop. .
110 Main St.
Special Price Features
During Demonstration Week
All next week is Range Exhibi
tion Week and in order to make
your visit to our
as well as pleasant, we have ar-
ranged Special Price features for
each department. Here you will
, find instruction, entertainment'
and economy in buying.
Don't fail to pay us a visit '
Xlothing Special for Next Week Only
Men' and Boy's New Fall Styles at Money Saving Prices
Men's Suit Special
$10.00 Suits L $8.50
$12 50 Suits; ... . . . .J. . ..$10.65
$15 00 Suits.,. .., $12.75
$18.00 Suits $15.5
$20.00 Suits $17.50
$22.00 Suits... 7 $19.25
$25 00 Suits.. $21.75
OVfliCOATS AT SAME
Dry Goods Specials
Bleached Pillow Oases, .'.'. . , . 90
Bleached Sheets, each 4oC
Bleached Napkins, hemmed ready to. use, per dozen, . : nrOC
. '''vv.'"!'-;: i. oc
Bath Towels, 35c values, per pair. .........'.... b3C
Three Stem Hair Witch, $1 00 value .'...:... 98C
Ladies' Linen Handkerchiefs, extra value, each OC
See our line of Import Kid Gloves, short and elbow lengths, black,
white, brov n, tan and blue,
The new Cammeyer creation for fall, the shoe of beautiful
proportions,- fashioned of finest Gray or black Buck a veritable poem
in ladies footwear $5. 00-value. om f&
Special . ... '.-. . . . . ; ,. . .". .'. . .'p H JU
Our Florshiem shnefnr'thfi mnn whn Art, ?fo?V,I:ili
----- m..v ., ., rviw
One lot ladies' lace and button boots, $3 50 4 ja I
and $4.00 values, special P I 3 I
Furniture Department Specials
During Demonistralion Week we will give big re
ductions on our complete stock of Furniture, floor
coverings, Wall Paper, Picture Frames, Comforts,
Blankets and Lace Curtains.
store profitable '
Boys' Suit Special
Double breasted, tllree button
Norfolk coats, full bloomer pants
lined throughout. All the new
shades and weaves.
$2 50 Suits.,... $2.15
$3.00' Suftsf.p.;. $2.55
$4.00 Suits". '.V. $3.40
$5 00 Suits $4.25
$7 50 Suits $g.40
$10.00 Suitscv.' $8.50
$12.50 Suits.l4 $10.85
Boys' Overcoats at same reduc
tion." $1.00 to $3.00