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THE TRAVELER AND HIS
A Gallic Legend.
A Gallic Legend. BY JOHN G. SAXE.
s i Qnmmi, aboat to mke t
A trip at sea, ni bepped to take
Commission! for dozen friends :
i On wanst a watch; another sends
- Fur wine" a vary special cask;
And if ttf not to much to a-k
Soma choice cigars; a boxwill do;
Or, while yoard at it, purchase two I"
Another friend woald like a pair
Of boots "They're so ma-h cheaper there;"
A lady friend woald have him bay
bam laces If they're not too nigh ;"
Another wants a box of gl oves :
''French Uda, yon krow, are real loves V
. Thoaone want tins: anotber, that; .
A book, a bonnet, or a bat;
Snotigh to make the moody man
itso huh their amall commission " ran,
n tale and balk) repent that be
Had ever thought to cross the seal
v Moreover, be it here remarked,
Before the penile man embarked.
Bis friends, for fear he micht forget
Their little errands, plainly set !
Their wishes down in black and white;
A sensible proceeding quite; , ?
" B'.-t as it happened not a friend
(With one exception) thonght to send '
Toe ready money, and to say. .
8eel here's the eah you'll have to pay!"
The man embarks; sees Paris, Rome, 1
And other cities; then comes home
Well -.leased with mnch that met his eye;
Bat hsving. somehow, failed to bay
A single thing for any friend -Biot
the one. who thought to send
Th? here si thai. Well, need 1 say
Thai wtjMi his neighbors came to pay
Their greetings ax bis safe return,
And charming health; and taleo) learr.
A boat their little errands what
For each the traveler ha-" gotf
Ey Jovel" he said, "tea tkcs me tad
7 think what wretched i ck 1 had 1
r as at sea I sat one daj .
.A Tanging in a proper way
The paperr yon so kindy rent,
A rie arose, aad off they went
Into la. oceanl norcoaid i
Rememur aught yon bade me buy P
" Bat," gruiublod one, If that were so, .
How comes it, sir, yeo chanced to kaow
What Utit man't errand wast for lif i
Has gcyt what be desired, we see!" "
"Faith! aoheha beyond adonbtf ' '
And this is how tt came about:
11 tt memorandum chanced to hold
A certain sum of solid gold ;
And thus Ilk nsner bv its mlcrfct
Escaped the others' windy fate i"
Work Daring Sleep.
Those cases in wh'ch the brain is hard
at worst aunng sleep, instead of being to
tally oblivious of erervthinff.
ed dreaming or somnambulism, according
, itself. Many of them are fall of interest
Some men have done real.y hard mental
work while at sleep. Condorcet finisLed
a train of calculations in his sleep which
had puzzled him during the day. In 1 StiG
a collegian noticed the peculiarities of a
fellow student, who was rather stupid than
otherwise during his waking hours, but
who got through some excellent work in
geometry and algebra during sleep. Cor
dillac and Franklfa bota,worked correctly
- 5)1116 04 tneir deeping hours.
Tlie work done partakes, in many cases,
morecf the nature of imaginative compo
sition than of scientific calculations. Thus
a stanzi of excellent verse is in print,
which Sir John Herschel is said to have
composed when asleep, and to have recol
lected when he awoke. Goethe often set
down on paper, Airing the dy, thoughts
and ideas which had presented themselves
to nun aunng sleep on the preceding night.
A gentleman one night dreamed that he
was playing an entirely new game of cards
uiree menas; wnen he awoke, the
Structures and rules of the new game, as
ucawu in me warn, came one Dy one into
memory, aud he found ttem so ingenious
that he afterwasd frequently played
the game. Coleridge is said to
nave composed his fragment of
JiuDia Jihan" during sleep. He had
one evening b.en rcajing Purchas' " Pil
grim ;" gome of the romantic incidents
struck his fancy; he went to sleep, and
ms busy brain composed " Kubla Khan."
When he awoke in the morning he wrote
out what his mind had invented in sleep,
ontil interrupted by a visitor, with
Whom he conversed for an hour on busi
ness matters; but, alas! he could never
gain recall the thread of the Etory, and
thus "Kubla Khan" remains a fragment.
Dr. Good mentions the case of a gens Io
nian who in his sleep composed an ode in
six stanzas, and set it to music Tartini,
Uie celebrated Italian vocalist, one night
dreamed that the devil appeared to him,
challenged him to a trial of skill on the
naaie, ana played a piece wonderful for
ra Deauty ana difficulty; when Tartina
awoke he could not remember the exact
notes, but he could produce the general
character of the music, which he did in a
umnposiuin ever since known as the
"Devil's Sonata" Lord Thurlow, when
a youth at college, found himself one
evening unable to finish a piece of Lafn
composition which he had undertaken-
" uea i mi or ine subject, fell
asleep, finished his Latin in his sleep, re
membered it next morning, and was com
plimented on the felicitous form which it
yicocuLcu. ine rear Hound.
Chinese Visiting Cards.
VlMTHfO is made a most feriom hnsi-
ness in China, and every ia dividual of
respeciaDiuty must have a servant to carry
and present his cards. A Chinese card is
not a white, glazed little bit of pasteboard,
but a huge sheet of scarlet paper, with the
name inscribed in large characters; the
more mammoth-like the character the
more grand and reepec:able it is. Cards
are of several kinds. There is the plain
card a single sheet of scarlet paper with
the name written or stamped nearest the
ngnt nana ana topmost sides. This is
employed on common occasions. Then
there is the official card, mostly used by
mandarin 9 on visits of ceremony. This is
also a sing'e sheet, and it contains the
name preceded by the entire title, written
down the center, f om top to bot ora.
Then, again, there is the full card, which
is only produced on very grand occasions,
such as New Tear visits, visits of congra
tulation or condolence. The full card is
folded, and must contain ten folds. It
does not give titles, but simply contains
the name of the individual written in the
right hand and bottom corner of the first
fold, prefixed by the words, "Your stupid
younger brother," and followed by the
words, " bows his head and pavs his re
spects." "Where the person visited be
longs to a generation senior to the visitor,
the latter styles himself, " Tour stupid
nephew." If to two gen e rations, the
visitor takes to himself the name of
" uncle "instead of "nephew" retaining.
however, the depreciatory appellative of
of s lf-designation, according to the par
ticular gradations of relationship; buc
these we have quoted will suffice to give
an idea of the punctilious rules peculiar
to Chinese visiting. We may add that
the card last described is, as a matter of
etiquette, always understood to be return
ed to the visitor, it being, presumedly, ex
pensive to 1 ave tuch voluminous proofs
of regard with such a number of friends.
Tub Columbus (Wis.) Demoorat says :
" Oue of the two children of a family here
died the night before the circus. It be
came an angel ir. opportunely. But the
parents did not allow us sudden accession
to happiness to sadden them inordinately.
When the morning looked into the vacan
cy of the little fac;, they had already
straightened the limbs for the grave. It
did not hear the uproar of the approach
ing procession, but the bereaved parents
did, and they left it alone n ith the con
queror that snares not in'ancy, and went
out to enjoy the grand entree ot the lions
and monkeys, laming their protracted
absence the undertaker came with, his
casket He found the doors locked ; but
death had entered unpermitted, and his
business is to follow. Tie coffin was de
posited through the window on the floor.
Some time that day, the sorrow laden
parents found leisure to place the stilled
prattler In ita permanent cradle. That
night they hied them forth aain to as
suage their grief in the -del'gnts of the
amphitheatre, leaving silence and' deser
tion two careful wfctcnersof . their babe.
How to overcome your
rike one of your own sighs.
McCONNELLSVILLE, OHIO, FRIDAY, OCTOBER 6, 1871.
"HOW MOTHER DID IT."
BY J. R. HADERMANN.
The year 1839 that is. the vear In
wbicn 1 was born is of no manner of
importance to myse.f or anybody else.
The year l&"i!)-hat is. the vear in which
1 1 egan to Ww 5harlie and I got married
that year) -is of considerable importance
to myself and to somebody e'se. The two
decades forming the - interim tetween
taosa years oonslituto my Dark Age, in
which Licet hed and measled anl whoop-ing-ceiugbeA;
and went to school, ard woie
my hair ia two long pig-taiis, and loved
molasses candy, and regarded a school
room as pureatorv. a ball-room as heaven
when I sang and danced and grew as the
bird? and grasshoppers and flowers sing
and dtrce and grow, because they hiving
uoiiung else to ao. .
men came my Gulden Aire. That
means, then eime Charlie into my lif-,
when I fell for the first time that there
was music m the birds' voices and ner-
fume in the flowers that there was lieht
in the heavens above aud on the earth be
neath, for God was in heaven and Charlie
was on earth when I, who had all along
uten nanny more man a nunan grasshop
per, became the happiest of happy women
so mucn nappier. 1 thoucnt. than 1 de
served. For who was I, and what great
imng naa i ever aone, tnat 1 should be
crowned with such a crown of glory as
nv.'.i:. . . . ... . . . .
vyiimiie r wnysnouiai. ins tmincani l. oe
so b'ect among women as to be taken to
wi;e by Charlie t
I was insanely sentimental enotieh to
ramer resent tne tict tiat (jnariiewas
prosaically well off: his circumstances
were distressingly easy. It would have
been so much nicer, so deliciously ro
mantic, if there had been an opportunity
aiioraea me 10 snow now ready, nay,
esger, I was to sacrifice friend.', home
and country for his dear sake. But
Charlie didnt want me to sacrifice mv
, ...... -
menus; nor tua it require any great
amount, ot Heroism to exchange my
modestly comfortable home tor his decid
edly luxurious one ; and as for country,
nothing on earth could hive induced
Charlie to leave his own country, much
less his own parish, much less his own
plants ion. Bo we were married without
any talk of sacrifice on either side, and
moved quietly enough from father's small
plantation to Charlie s lare one.
There was but one drawback to the ner-
fectness of my happiness; there was so
little hope of my ever ha vine an opportu
nity to air those magnanimous traits of
cniracter upon the possession of which I
so plumed myself. 1 felt sure that I could
meet the most adverse circumstances with
the most emuing patience, but circum
stances obstinately refused to be sdraran
was inwardly conscious th&t the most
trying emergency could not Bhane my
heroic but purely feminine fortitude; bat,
alas ! my fortitude was likely to nut while
waiting tor tae emergency. iDjury and
wrong snotaa De mei witn sublime dig
nity, but the most wildly speculative im
agination cosld not look upon Charlie's
placidly handsome face and convert him
into a possible tyrant.
To tell how the longed-for opportunity
exercise my powers oi enauranc, ana
my dignity, and all the rest of it, did
finally come about, and to tell how I bore
tne test, U the objest of this paper.
For the flrst six months of our married
Charlie and I were simply ridicnl jualv
happy selfishly happy, too. We re
sented a neighbor's rL-it as an act of bar
barous invasion, and the nece'sity of re
turning such visits was acknowledged
with a sublimity of resignation worthy of
pictorial representation m test exouisite
parlor manual, Fox's Book of Marty re. If
Charlie left the house for an hour or two,
looked upon his enforced absence as a
ctuel dispensation of Providence, which I
not bear with "fortitude and sublime
dignity," but pouted over like the ridicu
lous baby I was. Bare- conjugal civility
required that on leaving the house Charlie
should kir s me three times, and on re
turning six times ; anything short of that
should have considered a premonitory
symptom of approaching separation. If
Charlie had ever been so savage as to call
plain "Lulie,"I should have felt he
sick and tired of me, and was repent
ing of having -married me in
stead of that epectacled bas-bleu.
Miss Ilinerva Henshaw, who read Buckle
talked dictionary. I believe I was in
toxicated with my own happiness, and
a little nonsensical because I was so
happy. -- ;
Fortunately for the comfort of both
Charlie and myself, his domestic cabinet
consisted of a marvelously well-trained set
servants, who were simply perfect as
perreci in tneir way as u car lie was in his.
They had been trained by Charlie's
mother, who had been the head of affairs
his house up to the time of her death
event which had occurred some dozen
years befsre my first' meeting with
unarue. t-vervDoiiy saia sue naa been a
celebrated housekeeper, and Charlie's de
votion to her had been the talk of the
country-side. There were people malic
enough to say that if Charlie's mother
never died he would never have mar
ried ; but I take the ' liberty of resenting
an assertion as a personal insult ; lor,
although I don't doubt the dear old lady
a perfect iewel in her way. vet. look
at the portrait ef her 'which hangs
our parlor mantelpiece, I see the face
a hard, determined-looking woman
coli gray eyes and rigidly set mouth,
a lunxy-iooKing Diacs: dress, neither
nor low-necked, having a
starchy white .ruffle round the edge, in
white contrast to the yellow skin ;
grizzly, iron-gray curls peeping out
under a cap that is fearfully and won
derfully made, w.th a hu.e ruf
fled border radiating in a circum
ference of several feet, while its
black-and-white cauze ribbon
strings lie in ' ricid exactness over
two rigidly exact . shoulders.
Looking on this portrait. I do not thank
anybody for SRying that it wa only be
cause death chose that shining mark that
had found favor in ChaUie'a tjes.
We had been married, I suppose, about
mon'-hs, when, sitting one evening
a cozy wood-fire in our cezy lttle
parlor, just under the work of art I have
described at such length, Charlie commit
ted his first matrimonial solecism. He
yawned, actually gaped an open mouthed,
txlahcig up at him from my work
(which coi. listed of the inevitable worked
slippers without which no woman consid
her wifehood absolutely ass-Tied), I
caugtit frm in the act. " Are you tired,
Charlie r I asked in accents of wifely
Tired ! Poor fellow ! he ought to have
been, r he had ridden all over the
plantation that day, had written two busi
ness letters, and smoked there's no telling
many cigars, and had only taken one
ca; nap after dinner.
lie wa3 leaning back in his arm chair,
his eyes xed in mournful meditation
hia mother's portrait (at; least I
thought so), wben I asked him if he was
and I fancied he was thinking sad
thoughts of the mother who had not
dead so very long as never to
troujle the thoughts of the living ; so
down my slippers, I crossed '-th
jmi . perched myself on Ccarlie's
Talk to me about her, Charlie dear.".
About whom, little one ?" asked Char
lie, turning his eyes toward me with a
lizy looi of icquiry.
ilv-lt Ifftll. mntria r'VasltA . 1.
uiuuiwt uooiin; WvfGJll
thinking tbont her vast now f"
I don't know maybe I wasT
mother! yoa don't find many women like
Reader, that was my first glimpse cf
U Bar lie a hoDDy. Ana from tne luck
less moment when I so innocently in
vited hirn to mount it, up to the time
when 1 forcibly compiled him, to dis
mount from it, I had ample opportunity
to exercise my - smiling patience, su' lime
dign.tyand heroic fortitude" Whetaer
or not I improved my opportunities pro
perly, I wi.l leave you to judge for your
self. But for two whole jeirs tfhow
mother did U" seemed to be the watch
word of Charlie's existence, and was tli
bete n ir of mine.
So long as Charlie and I were in Para
dise the hous kept itself, and very cicely
it did it too, but by the time we were
resdy to come back to earth the perfect
servants, who had been taking such good
care of themselves, and our two daft selves
into the bargain, were found to be sadly
demoralized,- Tbe discovery came upon
us gradually.. I thind my husband noticed
tne cecadcEce ss scon as l aid, Dut l
wasn't going to invite his attention to the
fact; and he, I suppose, thought that I
thought that everything was just as it
snouia do. "
One of Charlie's Inherited manias wa4
for early rising a habit -which would
have been higbly commendable and un
deniably invaluable in a laboring man, but
wnicn struck me, wno naa an equally
strong mania for not rising early, as ex
tremely inconvenient and the least little
bit absurd. Charlie got up early simply
Because mointr u:u 11 dciofo mm; anu
after he had men at earliest dawn and
dressed himself, he had nothing better to
do than walk out on the front gallery.
locate himself in a big wicker chair, tut
bis cha r back and elevate his uet to the
top of the baniste rs, and stire out over the
co .ton fields. This position he would
maintain, probably, about twenty minutes.
Then the pangs of hunger would render
him restle;s, and he would draw out his
watch to note the time of day. The next
step in the formula would bring him back
to my room door while I was still sUepily
trt ing to reconnect the brok n links of a
dream, from which vain effort he would
startle me into wide awake reality by a
stentorian "Lulie, Lulie! Come, wife
Upon which, instead of "heroic forti
tude " I would treat him to a little cross
Please yell at the cook, Charlie, and
not at me. I n sure if people teiK g.
up at snch unearthly hours, they should
expect to be kept waiting tor tceir break
fa.." -. -
Then the spirit of unrest would impel
uname toward the back door, wnere X
would hear him commanding, exhorting,
Mentaliy registering a vow to give my
husband a dose of Mrs. Winslows sooth
ing syrup on tho coming night, I would
relinguiih all hope of another nap, get up
and dress myself, and join my roaring 1 on
on the front eallerv. where we would
both sit meekly waiting for the allied
forces of kitchen and dining-room to de
cide upon the question of revjctualing us.
Lulie, said Charlie to me one morn
ing at thd-breakfast table, " things are get
ting all cut ot gear about this house, some
how or other."
I put down the coffee-poVwith a ret-
eigned thump, and asked my lord, with an
injured air, to please explain h rnself.
" Well, when mother was alive 1 never
knew what it was to sit down to my break
fast later than six o'clock in summer or
seven in winter."
"How did she manage It. Charlie f" I
asked, very meekly.
" Why, by getting up early herself. Ho
servant cn the face of the globe ia going
get up at daybreak and go to work in
earnest when she knows her mistress is
sound asleep in bed. I will tell yon how
mother did : she had a pretty good-sized
bell that she kept on a table by her bedside,
and every morning, as toon as her eyes
were open, she would give such a peal
with that old bell that every servant on
premises knew that ' Mistiss was awake
and up,' and bestirred themselves accord
ingly. There was no discount on mother ;
that was the way she made father a rich
" But, Charlie, you re already a rich
man, and why on earth should we get
of ced at daybreak just because your
munerand latnerdidso betore us?
Of course. Lulie." said Charlie, the
least little bit coldly, " I have no desire in
world to force you to conform to my
views ; I only told you how mother did it
Header, you know how 1 loved Charl e.
and after that I out-larked the lark'in early
rising ; and although Charlie and I did lit
tle m re than gape in each oth; r's faces
an hour or two, and wish breakfast
would come, and wonder what made them
take so long, he was perfectly satisfied
that we were both on the road that was to
make us healthier, wealthier and wiser.
Among other points on which my hus
band and I were mutually agreed was a
liking lor good strong coUce, and we also
held in common one decided opinion, and
was, that our coffee was gradually
becoming anything but good and strong.
Charlie broached the subject first "Lu
lie, our coffee is getting to be perfectly un
d linkable," said he one morning, putting
cup down with a face of d.sgust
'It is, indeed, Charlie; it's perfectly
villainous. Milly ought to be ashamed of
herself. I shall speak to her again after
" Maybe yon don't give out enough cof
fee?" sugge-ted Charlie, - "
" I don't know how much II illy takes,"
" Takes ! Do you mean to say that you
don't know how much coffee goes out of
pantry, Lulie? I don't wonder we
never have any fit to drink !"
If I had been of en argumentatire turn, I
would have asked Charlie to explain how
giving the cook carte blanche in the mat
ter of quantity should have such a disas
trous effect in the matter of quality. But I
not of an argumentative turn, so I
no notice of his queer logic
"Why should I bother about every
spoonful of coffee, Charley ? You assured
wnen 1 first came here, that every ser
you had was as honest as you or I,
x iu Buic 1'iuiy auuwB ueiier luiui A uu
much coflee she ought to take."
" Well," sa:d Charlie,' with a sigh of
mock resignation, " that may be the way
do things now a-days, but I remem
ber exactly how mother managed tt have
coffee.'' Here the hobby broke into
b isk canter. "I recollect she had a
oval wooden box, that held, I sup
about a quart or two, maybe of
roasted coltee, and that box stood on the
mantelpiece in her Toom; and ev-ry
morning, as soon as her bell rang, .Milly
woiild come with a cup and spoon, and
mother would measure out two lable
spoonfuls of coffee with her own hands
gi7e it to the cook, and the cook knew
better than not to have good coffee, I can
" Are you sure it was only two spoon
I am sure," responded Charlie, sol
As gooa-iuck would have it while rum
maging in the store room a day or two
that coffee talk, I came upon a little
oval wooden box, the Bd of which I
detached with some difficulty, and as the
of the roses hung round it still, I had
difficulty in identifying my treasure
trove with the wooden box that had play
such a distinguished part in the good
times when cooks "knaw better tban
to have good coffee, I can tell you." - x
Hoping thitt some relio of my dead pre
decessor might prove mora awe-inspiring
contumacious JAiUy than my own de
spised monitions,' ' 'exhumed the wooden
had it thoroughly cleansed, "filled
roasted coffee and placed upon my
mantelpiece, giving Milly orders to eome
C h A
to tne hereafter, every morning, for the
Charlie gave me a grateful little kiss
when he saw the old box in the old place,
either as a reward for my amiable en
deavor to do things as mother did, or De-
cause he took the old wooden box for an
outward and visible sien of the inward
and spirituil grace that was to move Milly
to make good conee.
But somehow or other, in spite of the
unsightly old wooden box on my man
telshelf, the coffee didn't improve in the
least Aliy be the charm failed to work
because Charlie had forgotten which end
of the mantelpiece his mother used
to ke'.p it on. or I used tt e wrong ssooo,
I'm inclined to lay it on the spoon myself,
out ttiere s no telling.
The first cotton-picking season that
came round afier my marriage seemed to
afford Charlie no end of opportunities for
name his hobby at a fast and furious pace.
It seemed as if there was no end to things
that mother used to do at that important
season, l suppose she really was a won
derful woman, and 1 humbly hooe that by
the time I have lived as long as she d d,
and get to looking as she does in her por
trait, andean wear a wonderful looking
cap with the wonderful composure she
wore it with, and have little iron gray
curls hanging round my iron-gray visage,
l may Da only nail as wonneiiui.
" Would 1 see to the making or the cot
ton sacks? That was one thing mother
always did." Thus Ufiarlie.
Ot couraa I would : whv should I ob
ject to anything that would forward my
Husbands interests? iiesides, 1 was ac
tually pining for some healthful occupation,-
I was tire J of playing at living. I
resolved on a brilliant clan. I would out-
mother mother, for the only sate to the
making of the sacks ; I would make them
myself, every one of them, on my sewing
machine. It I couldn't make cotton-sacks
on it, what was the use of having it?
Charl e had informed me that he would
send me down seven or eight women from
the quarters to make the sacks. I informed
him with a flourish that I should need but
one; I should want her to cut the sacks
out Chsrlie thanked me, and Martha and
and "Wheeler & Wilson" made the
Was I to blame that the wretched things
burst in twenty places at once the first
time they were used ? Was I to blame that
two women were kept busy mending my
sacks until they ceased to be sacks?
Charlie might think so. but I did not
tie reported the failure of my cotton-
sack experiment with very unbecoming
levity, as it struck me, accompanying
nis report witn a somewnat unjust com
ment upon new fangled notions, such
as sewing-machines, etc., etc., winding up
with JScw, when mother was alive
fairly winced), " the house was not con
sidere.l too good for the darkies to sit on
the back gallery with their wrk and
make tte sacks right under mother's eye
sewing them with good strong thread.
too, that was spun for the purpose. I can
remember the old tpinuing-wheel: it used
sit riuht at that end of the gallery."
Like Captain Cutue, 1 "made a note of
for future use.
I often had occasion to wonder, during
the early years of my married life, how it
happened that the son of such an excep
tionally perfect woman as 1 was com
pelled to presume my respected mother
to have been, should cave grown
with such shockingly di-orJerly habits
had my Charlie. The wretched
creature would stalk into my bed-room
T .1 1 1 J, - . 1 .
uicai was pirucuiany dainty aooui
fresh from shooting or fishing, wit h pounds
mad clinging to his boots, bristling all
over with cockle burs, his hands grimed
witn guopowacr: ana Helping hiuiseit to
water irom my china basin until be bad
reduced its original pure contents into a
compound of mud and ink, and would
wind up by making a finish of my fresh
amask towel, and throwing it on the bed
a chair instead of returning it to the
rack, as he should have done.
" Charlie, said I one day. saucily in
viting a dose of " what mother did," "what
mother used to co when you came in
her room and turned it into a pig-stye.
then left it for her to clean up again ?"
" fcue never let me do it," said Charno
with a laugh. "Hi till you how she old.
had a tin basin on a shelf on the back
gallery, and one of those great big rolling
towels that lasted about a week ; and after
herwasbstand was fixed up in the morn
we knew belter than to upset it, 1 can
"Very well, 6ir,- I intend you shall
know better than to upset nine, I'll show
In fact, things had come to that pass
1 naa mentally resolved to " show"
Charlie a great many things. I firmly
believed that the seer t oi the power that
Charlie's mother had exercised over her
household, and still exercised over him in
memory, Uj in the fact that she made
them'sll afraid of her; so I firmly resolv
ed that they should all be afraid of me,
poor little me! It is true, I was but
twenty, and she was fifty; I was but a
pocket edition of a woman, and she was a
Wtbster Un-ibriJgcd; I had littlemeekblue
eyes, that dropped to the ground in the
most shamefaced manner if a b dy did but
at me, and she had hard, cold gray
eyes, that nnt only looked straight at you,
iiht through you. StilL I hoped.
notwithstanding these trifling drawbacks
make myself very awe-inspiring by dint
a grand assumption ot spirit
To put it into very plain language, I
resolved to bully unarne on his hobby.
had thrown his mother at my head
(figuratively speaking, of course) until, if
bad been present in prcprii persona, 1
should have been tempted to try liiawat ha's
remarkable feat with his grandmother.
throw her np against the moon. But
I could not revenge myself upon her
personally, 1 began to lay deep and subtle
plans fir inducing Charlie to leave her to
As the veritable bell which, in the lavs
when " mother did it" had acted as a sort
Gabriel s trump, was stul extant, minus
clapper and handle, I was enabled to pro-
myteir with, its lac simile. Armed
this instruu ent of retribution, I laid
down to sleep by Charlie's side, gloat
in anticipation over my . ripening
scneme oi vengeance.
It was a rare thinr for me to wake nr
before Charlie, but I did manage to do so
the morning in question, by dint, I
think, of a powerful mental resolution to
effect made the night before. I raised
f very softly, so as not to disturb
husband's gentle slumbers, and, pos
sessing myself of my big bell, I laid
with a will, raising such a c'atter
the quiet morning air that Charlie
fairly bounded into the middle
the room before he in the least com
prehended where it came from.
In the name of Heaven, Lulie, what Is
meaning of that?" he exclaimed,
looking at me as if he half doubted my
That's the way mother did it, Charlie,"
replied pUcidly enough, and, replac ng
big beii on the table, I settled myself
onrnypillojr on emore, ostensibly to go
sleep again 'n reality to have my laugh
in a quiet fashion, for it was enough
have made the very bed posts laugh to
Charlie's fanny look of astonishment
indignation. But of course he couldn't
a word, you know.
For two mornings I clattered my bell
his precious old head, and then he
me to emit and after that began ridina
hobby at a little slower gait
ine next direct lutircanon he gaTO that
faith in inherited ideas was growing
V TT wan lainii-A VrtTA ,dinul t,a T
Tint, trtirk- an nine fntli M waswIati '
box, but give out enough coflee to ensure
him something to drink for his breakfast
Now, I had no wish that my husband
fhould drink bad coffee just because Provi
dence had seen fit to remove his mother
from this sublunary sphere: I merely
wantel to cure him of telling me how
mother did it ; so as soon as he thus tacitly
acknowledged that his suggestion hal not
been a success, I took matters into my own
hands, and proved to him tht coffee could
be made as well by young wives as by old
In the due revolution of the seasons
King Cotton donned his royal robes of
cotton once more, and sacks again became
the one thing needful. It wa the very
rainiest, wettest, muddiest picking season
that had ev. r been seen. In pursuance of
my plan. I had seven or tight women
down from the quarters, and a spinning
wheel also, which was set to humming
right tinder our bed room window.
The rainy weather had kept Charlie
in the house, and he was lounging on
a couch in my room, enjoying a pleas
ant aemi-dose, when the monotonous
whirr r-r of tbe spinning-wheel first at
tracted his attention. "Lulie," he asked,
ruing into a sitting posture, " what is that
infernal noise in the back gallery ? '
" The spinning-wheel, Charley. They
are spinning thread to make the sacks
with," I answered, without looking up
from my wore.
" Oh !" and Charlie subsided for a while.
"Ahem! Lulie, my dear, how long is that
devi ish spinning to be kept up?"
"Devilish! Why, Charlie, that's the
way mother did it"
" Well, said Charlie, scratching bis
head and looking foolish, " I know she did.
Lulie. but 1 11 be confounded if I can
stand it much longer."
" Why. Charlie, yon used to stand it
wnen mother aid it i answered mali
" I was hardly ever about the house in
those days, Lulie ; I suppose that was why
1 did nt mind it
Why weren't you about the house
much in those days, Charlie?"
- because you weren't in it you witch,
This was such a decided triumph over
the old lady of the portrait that I could af
ford to be amiable ; so, giving him a spas
motic little hug and an energetic little
kus, I went cut and stopped the spinning
After that the hobby went slower and
slower, and feebler and feebler. One more
energetic display of my bogus spirit and
M t,A AnAmv wao mint
Winter came on in its duly-appointed
time, brine ing with it the usual quantity
of wild ducks and more than the usual de
gree of severe cold. Charlie was an in
veterate duck-shooter, and with the return
of the season csme the return of mud and
dirt in my bowls.
I determined to do as mother did. A tin
basin made its appearance on the back
gallery, four yards of crash sewed together
at the end were to resolve over the roller,
and by way of forcing the experiment to a
successful issue, orders were given that my
own pitchers should be filled only after
1 was sitting in my bed-room sewing
away, in placid unconsciousness of outside
cold and discomlort, when Charlie got
home from his first hunt of the season.
"No water, Lulie?" and the monster
took hold of my nice pitcher with a pair
of muddy half-frozen hands.
" On the gallery, dear, Just where mother
used to keep it ; and 1 smiled np at him
With a muttered something or other,
poor Charlie bounded out to the back gal
lery, lie came back in a minute, his
hands as muddy ana cold as ever.
"Look here, Lulie; the water's all
frozen in that confounded tin basin out
" I'll have it thawed but for you," I said
sweetly, rising as I spoke.
" I say, wifey" and the great handsome
fellow came close up to me with his mud
and his burs "do you think it's exactly
fair, when a fellow's been out all the
morning shooting ducks for your dinner,
make him stand out on the gallery such
day as this and scrub the mud off his
" That's the way mother did," was all
" Look here, Lulie, I cry quits. If youll
only let a body off this once, you may
ep house on your own plan, little lady,
and' I'll never tell yon how mother did it
long as 1 live.
" Well, then, don't, that's a dear," I re
plied, "for you'll only make me dislike
her memory, without doing any good.
Just -be patient with me, Charlie, and
maybe after awhile I'll be as good a house
keeper as your mother was before me.
The mistake you and all other men make
in comparing your wives at tbe end of
their nrst year oi housekeeping with your
mothers, whose housekeeping you knew
nothing about until it was of ever so many
years' duration. I ta young yet, but 1 m
improving in that matter every day,
ith, which little moral lecture I gave
Charlie a kiss, and some water to wash
mud from his poor red hands.
ZIoraL My dear girls, don't you ever
marry a man that cannot take his affidavit
never hal a mother, unless it is ex
pressly stipulated in the marriage contract
that he is never to tell you how his mother
it. Lxppincotve Magazine.
A New Rendering of an Old Text.
Spkjtdino a winter as invalids at Aiken.
South Carolina, the Hon. Thurlow Weed
and Mr. Thomas C. Acton whi'ed away
baDDath atternoon Dy attending a ne
church, and were accompanied by
Mr. John A. Kennedy, who was on a visit
a few days to Mr. Acton. When they
entered ihe primitive temple the preacher.
who was a poor African, was grappling
with all the terror ot his race with the
old subject of the fall of man. Sketch
ing that day in the garden with its terrible
results, he excoriate! Air. Adam m this
" Now. brederen. when the Lord calls
Adam to 'count did he stan up like a man,
confess his s n and ask forgiveness ? He
didn't do nuffln of de sort, brederen, but he
" ' Lord, de woman dat Don guoest me
me for to eat' -
rausing a moment be repeater :
"'De woman dat Dou gubest me gab me
Then again :
" ' De woman dat Dou cubest me enb me
uar. brederen. von see dat mean.
skulkin' Adam was a try in' to sneak out
it by frowin' all de blame on de Lord
This new idea of an old question was
much for the distinguished "white
trash, who had fortunately taken seats
the door, and they retired into the
fields to indulge iu irreverent laughter.
Viuo Jioomof the Galaxy for Vetooer.
A fish store in SomerviHe, Ma:s., has a
on which is painted. " Leviticus, xl,
and lOih verses. These verses are;
These shall ye ate of all that are in the
waters : whatsoever hath fins and scales in
waters, in the seas and in the rrvers,
them shall ye eat And all that have not
and scales in the seas and in the rivers,
all that move in the waters, and of any
living thing which is in the waters, they
oe an a Domination unto you.
A Domestic Revelatin--Nice Boy
Joiiy glad you re going to stop with
Visitor "Are you. darling? Why
Nice Boy " Cense we shall have
Papbb Ctjffs. Newspaper attacks.
It does not follow that a man who bolts
his food will have the lock-jaw.
A good man provides for his chil
dren. A policy in the Washington Lift) is
one way to ao it
Persons should always dress to suit
their figure. A humped-backed lady, for
instance, ought to wear a camels-hair
A Savannah man was cured of rheu
matism by the active movements he made
to get out or the way of a mad steer.
Thb Mutual Life, of Chicago, reserves
by the highest standard in the United
States, and gives it members the best se
A BAVrsr.s bank in New Bedford, Mass.,
holds deposits to the amount of six mill
ion dollars a sum larger than the aggre
gate Danaing capital oi tne city.
Thb office of the Waynesboro (Pa)
Republican was recently robbed bv bur
glars of two dollars, and the public wants
to Know it the editor came honestly by all
Thb Pittsfield (Mass.) Timet says that,
fifty years ago. a man named David Hil-
liard disappeared from that town, and no
trace of him could be found. A few days
ago ne returned, lie hid been in Maine,
and had never seen a railroad until within
a year. He left a little girl, but she is now
A ftjll-bkarded young grandfather
recently had his hirsute appendage shaved
off, showing a clean lace for the first time
for a number of years. At the dinner
table his three-year old grand-daughter
noticed it, "Gazed long with wondering
eye," and finally ejaculated : "Grandfather,
wno.-e head you got on ? '
When the Emperors of Germany and
1 : . i,r, -c - t . .
jxu au me. a. neir, i rancis josepn m-
voaucea to rviiiiam i. nis adjutant a
Hn garian count with only one arm.
Where did you lose your arm, count?"
asked the German emperor. " At Sadowa,
your majesty," replied the count, ' at the
charge ot your cavalry which you led
yourself." This reply effected the emperor
o much that he took the iron cross from
his breast and attacked it to that of the
Mr. Mobris Phillips writes to the
Home Journal from Paris : " Those who
go to Paris with the idea that they can
live cheaply w.ll be sadly mistaken. Be
fore the war this may have been true : but
a great change has taken place. War is a
costly game, and the looser must pay the
price. To help pay the Prussian demand
everything has been taxed provisions
with other commodities; per consequence,
notei charges are nigh. True, a good din
ner, table d'hote, ia served with wine for
five francs, and the rate per night for lodg
ing is reasonable, but attendance is charged
separately, and so are candles ; and when
thd traveler gets his bill he is amazed
with items and extras he never dreamed
A uoston gentleman, traveling in
Europe, had his watch stolen from him in
V leona, and ottered a reward equal to fifty
dollars in our money. The watch did not
appear, and, when returning toward
America, he lelt his name and address,
and the number of his watch. A year has
since gone, and he gave up all hopes of
ever seeing it, when a few days ago, his
witch came to him in Boston, the only
charge upon it being one of fifty cent for
express transportation Irom Jcw lork.
The thief had been arrested in Vienna,
the watch found upon him, and forwarded
by the city government of Vienna free of
charge to new York. This shows a de
sire upon the part of the authorities there
to secure the good wishes of travelers, to
say the least
A Daring Hunter. Louis Kelley is.
perhaps the most daring and successful
Indian hunter in the great Wfet He
travels alone, fights alone, wears a com
plete suit ot buckskin, and wears a turban
around his head when out on the prairie.
tie is said to be a graduate of a college.
and hiiis irom Virginia or south uarolina.
it is thought he was a Confederate officer.
lie 13 about twenty-two years ot age,
handsome, well formed and muscular.
The Indians dread him as much as they
ever did Kit Carson or Daniel Boone. He
never misse-j his mark. An Indian is as
good as dead the moment he draws sight
on him. He will travel weeks at a time
through hostile Indians and never express
thought oi danger, iveney is now on a
trip to the headwaters of the Yellowstone,
country never yet visited by any white
man. He is alone. He has been known
dare a dozen Indians on the open prai
rie to fight him in a body. No Indian
will ever get within reach of his deadly
A grand fashionable wedding, announc
ed to take place a few days ago, in New
ork, wa postponed under peculiar and
trv in i? circumstances. The rronm. de
tained down town longer than he antici
pated, hastened to his home to array him
self for the ceremony, and found that his
wedding suit had not arrived. He imme
diately dispatched a messenger for the
missing garments, and waited with what
patience he could summon for his return.
The messenger returned, but not the pan
taloons. The tailor, a Spanish professor
the art of cutting and making, had the
misiortune to have his establishment seiz
for debt, and the wood-be bridegroom's
wedding suit was seized with the stock,
and was in possession of the Sheriff. Fancy
the situation. It was almost the hour for
the c remony, and no clothes. The per
spective .Benedict jumped into a carriage
aud dashed wildly through the streets in
search ot the myrmidon oi the law, but
wnen lound, he was obdurate no en
could move him to yield the wed
ding garments. The baffled and disap-1
pointed bridegroom, compelled against his
win to appear a laggard in love, had to re
turn to his home and indite an epistle to
waiting onae, explaining that as he had
clothes, there could be no wedding.
Railroads Sixty Years Ago.
The following letter, in renlv to a surf-
gestion concerning raAroads, was written
Chancellor Livingston, who had been
associated with his brother-in-law, Robert
iruiton, in the application of steam to
uurr. Maren 1.
Dbab Sir : I did1 not till yesterday re
ceive yours of the 25th of February;
wnere it has loitered on the road x am at
loss to say. I had before read of your
very ingenious proposition as to the rail
way communications. 1 fear, however,
that on mature reflection they will be
liable to serious objections and ultimately
more expensive than a canaL They must
double, so as to prevent the danger of
heavy bodies meeting. The wall on
which they are placed must be at least
four feet below the surface and three feet
above and must be clamped with iron, and
then would hardly sustain so heavy a
weight as you propose moving at the rate
four miles an hour on wheels.. As to
wood, it would not last a week. They
must be covered with iron, and that, too.
very thick and strong. The means of
stopping these heavy carriages without a
great shock and of preventing them run
ning on each other for there would be
many running on tha road at once would
very difficult In case3 of accidental
stops, or necessary s ops to take wood and
water, etc- many accidents would happen.
carriage for condensing water would
very troublesome. Upon the whole, I
the expense would be much greater
that ot canals without being so convenient
How to Make New Acquaintances.
BY REV. E. HALE.
There is a good deal of the life of boys
and girls which passes when they are with
other boys and girls, and involves some
aimcuiues, with a great many pleasures
all its own.
. It is generally taken for granted that if
me young people are by themselves all
willgowelL Aid if you boys and girls
uiu out anow u, mtny v.ery compliments
ry things are said about 3-00 in this very
... U M 1 ,1 , -
u aitu. tuuureo go unuersiana eacn
other so welL" " Children get along so
well with each other." "I feel quite re
lieved when the children find comnaa
ions." Thi sort of thing is said behind
the children's back, at the very moment
when the samechildren, quite s rangers to
each other, are wishing that th-y were at
home themselves, or, at least, that these
sudden new companions were-. '
There is a well-studied picture of this
mixea-np me ot boys and girls with other
boys and girls who are quite strangers to
them, in tho end of Miss Edgeworth's
-oequei to r raua, a dook which 1 cannrt
get the young people to read as much as I
wish they would.
Of course, in the first dace, von are to
do as yon would be done by. But when
you have said this, a question is still in
volved, if or a minute yen do not know
how yon would be done by; or, if you
do know, you know simply that
you would like to be let off from the
company of these new-found friend a
"If 1 did ss I would be done by," aaid
Clara, "I should turn round and walk to
the other end of the piazza, and I should
leave the whole party of these strange
girls alone. I was having a good time
without them, and I dare say they would
have a be iter time without me. But papa
brought me to them, and said that their
lather was in college with him, and that
he wanted that we should know each
other. So I could not do in that case ex
actly as I would be done by, without dis
pleasing papa and that would not be do
ing to him at all as I would be done by."
The English of all that Is. mv rleur
Clara, that in tint particular ex'gencv on
the piazza, at Newbury, you had a nice
book, and you would have been glad to
have been. left alone: nay. at the bottom
of your heart would be glad to be left
alone a good deal of your life. But you
do not wish to be left alone all your life.
ana 11 your miner naa tasen you to Uld
Point Comfort for a month, instead of
Newbury, and you were as much a strang
er there as this shy Lucy Percival is to
our jn orthein ways at jM ewbury, you would
be very much obliged to any nice Vir
ginian girl who swa lowed down her dis
like of Yankees in general, and come and
welcomed yon as prettilv as you did the
Percivals when your father brought you
to them. The doing as you would be done
by requires a study of all the conditions
not of the mere outside accident of the
The direction familiarly given is. that
we should meet strangers half way. But
do not find that this wholly answers.
These strangers may be represented by
globules of quicksilver, or, indeed, of
water, on a marble table.
Suppose you pour out two little glo
bules of quicksilver at each of two points,
. like these two. Suppose you make
the globules lust so large that they meet
hali way, thus, OO. At these points!
where they touch they only touch. It
even seems as it they were a little
repulsive, so that they they shrink away
from each other.
Bo 1 if vou will enlarge one of the drnna
never so little, that it shall meet the other
very little beyond half way, why the
two will gladly run tozether into one, and
will even lorget that they ever had been
That is the rule for meeting strangers.
Meet them a little bit more than half way.
You will find in life that the people who
this are the cheerful people and happy,
who get the most on. 01 society, and, in
deed, are everywhere prai;ea ana loved.
"But I am sure I do net know what to
say to them," says Robert, who, with a
good deal of difficulty, has been made to
read this paper thus far.
My dear .bob, have 1 said that you must
talk to them ? I know you pretended yon
could not talk to people, though yester
day, when X was trying to get my nap in
the hammock, I certainly heard a good
deal of rattle from somebody who was fix
ing his boat with Clem waters in the
wood -house. Hut 1 have never supposed
that you were to sit in agreeable conversa
tion about the weather, or the opera, with
these strange boys and girls. Nobody but
prigs would do that and I am glad to say
you are not a prig. But if you were turned
Ion two or three boys, as Clara was on
f ercival girls, a good thing to say
would be :
" Would you like to go in swimming?"
How would you like to see us clean
our fishr" or, "I am going up to set
snares ior rabbits ; how would you like to
Give them a piece of yourself. That is
what I mean by meeting them more than
half way. Frankly, honorably, without
reserve which is to say, like a ijentle-
man; share with these strangers some
part of your own life which makes you
Clara, there, will do the 'same thing.
She will take these girls to ride, or she
will teach them how to play " copack," or
will tell thsm about her play of the
Bleeping tteauty, and enlist some of them
take parts. This is what I mean by
meeting people more than half way.
Youtri t Companion.
The Boy that had no Remarkable
Most boys who "get into the newspa
pers are very remarkable boys.
" Joa" had nothing about his looks, or
actions, or color, that attracted tne partic
ular attention or any body. -
When he first breathed the vital air, he
was simply a boy-baby, with two hands,
two feet two eyes, two ears, one mouth,
and one nose. He did not laugh and crow
and sit upright as young geniuses do in
their young babyhood, but he slept and
waked, and ate (baby food, of course) and
cried like any common baby.
When he grew older there were no un
common developments, except that he
was fat and healthy and heavy.
Nobody congratulated his mother on
raising a future President nor applauded
the bright genius that sparkled in the
baby s eyes. The gossipers looked won-
deringly at each other as the tender
mother watched oyer her baby-boy, pro
vided for his comforts, and pressed him to
her warm bosom.
He grew to boyhood, but he was only a
common boy. He learned his A " C with
difficulty, and was alow in learning to
reaa. nis teacner thought ne never would
"get through the multiplication table."
But he never forgot it
hen the boys went a-nshmr, Joa went
too : but he was slow in getting his hook
and line ready. The other bojs were on
and ia and around the lake before hie hook
was fairly settled in the water. "Too slow
to move," the boys would say. ' " He'll sit
there expecting the fish to come to him,"
It was even so; he remained stationary and
fixed ; but when night came, somehow his
basket was always full, while many of the
bright, talking geniuses went home with
the sad intelligence that the "fish wouldn'
Joa'i home was full of life and nole
and bustle of intelligent older children and
bright younger ones. Joa found himself,
1 1TervbodT tle found him, solitary
ana alone, takin. l:,,!. ,ui
stir around him. ' "
When he Rev tn tut. fna' v.ni:.
drive-ahead laughed at hia ploddirwi but
by some means he seldom madea mis
take, and, though he did nnt BAem til an.
eompliah as much in a week as many
others did in day, yet at the end of a
year there was always something tangible
in his results, while tha work nf ihnon
who seemed to utterly outstrip him at first
ended in demolished air-castles.
He has passed the meridian 'rf life.
Men eminent in the professions respect
his judgment Bnainnoa mm mmtn nnnn
the stage of action long to learn the secret
of his success. The bank leans upon him
to carry it through the trvin ( rratl mer
chants and manuiacturers lean upon him
to save them from bankruptcy. Steady,
constant, and hard study made him a
scholar ; persevering industry, 'accom
panied with economy, raised him to opul
ence; close observation and deliberato re
flection cultivated a sound ludirment. and
honesty and integrity secured lor kins tha
confidence of all who knew hin.
It is a favorable sign of tha times that
we are beginning to pay more attention to
the relattnnshiD existirj e between the hod r
and the brain. It is another sign, hardly
as favorable, that iu spite cf the attention
that we give to the subject, aad the in
creased knowledge of ourselves which
that attention gives, we are continually
adding to tbe amount cf the hnrrv-and-
drive element which we mix with our
Cruelty to animals is deservedly before
the public for merited reprobation. The
maa wno anuses -his mule, hia ox, his
horse, c r his dog, can hardly hope long to
continue in such practices without being
punished as well as censured. The engine
driver who rattles his rain along at such
a rate of speed as to injure either the rol
ling stock or the roadway iaast to lose his
situation. The keeper of the oldest second
hand stationary ingine, who runs it under
too great pressure of steam meets the in
dignation of its proprietor, if he racks and
strains it by his injudicious efforts ti get
from it more power than it is capable of
Although we know all this ao well that
it needs no proof; although we well un
derstand that a certain amount of brain
power can produce no more than a corres
ponding amount of physical result vet we
drive the human engine to its utmost ca
pacity. Not even satisfied with this, we
crowd on steam, shut down the safety
valve, and push on as Mississippi steam
boats posh when they race. As steam
boat men of that region, who love
to race, consider the explosion of
their boats as a matter of sec
ondary importance, ao are our over
worked man of business races on, deter
mined to accomplish what he has planned,
even at the risk of wrecking his whole
mental and physical oiganizition. We
may not with impunity, aa concerns our
re ation with society, abuse horse, mule
or engine, but we may tamper with the
noblest organism ever constructed, and
rain body and mind without even suffering
the penalty of losing our life insur
ance. In the continual attempt to get as
it were, thirty horse-power from a twenty
five horse-power engine, we drive the
machine to wreck, ruin, paralysis, and sud
den death or prematura old age.
The over-taxed brain and over-wrought
body worry and weary each other out of
all comfort and prosperity. Whatever
business or profession a man may follow,
he has no right to overdo his abilities any
more than to cut his throat or explode his
The habit of over-work should lastly be
classed by insurance men among the per
nicious habits whose tendency is to cut
short a man's existence. It is slow sui
cide, and not always aa slow as would ap
pear. Especially when considered in con
nection with the habit of taking sedative
drugs, a habit which too frequently accom
panies it, or of securing sleep, otherwise
difficult or impossible to obtain, by the
use of stimulating drinks, over-work leads
to irretrievable ruin of mind, body and es
The man who industriously does a fair
amount of work, who eats well, sleeps
comfortably and regularly, and cheerfully
possesses his soul m patience, is a mucn
better risk for an insurance company than
he who work9urriedly and beyond his
capacity, eats without digestion, sleeps
without refreshment and nervously frets
himself into continual worriment and
Is prevention better than core ? In the
matter of over-work prevention is prac
ticable, while cure is impossible. We may
quencn tne lira unuer uie uuiier vi uio
strained old engine, and take the whole
mechanism apart for reconstruction. Even
after reconstruction it will hardly be as
good as when new. But the fire must keep
burning in the case of the human engine.
We must do our repair while it is in busy
motion. Let the fire go ou, and it can
never be rekindled. Let the nerves be
shattered, the brain exhausted, the sys
tem unstrung, and the man is a hopeless
wreck. Let him be wise in time, and pre
serve hia powers for a possible old age.
Married for a Dime.
A correspondent at Rocky
Station sends us the following.
A good joke is told on Judge Houchin,
Brownsville. The judge was seated
near the bar door at the hotel of York &
Houchin, when a rather pale, slender
youth approached the hotel and inquired
for Judge Houchin. A geatleman seated
near by pointed to the judge, and observ
ed, "There is tbe gentleman." The young
man said to him, " Sfep this way, JucUe.'
The judge stepped to the edge of the
porch, when the young man said. " I have
come over here to get married."
" Weil," said the judge, " I have no
"Well, I want you to go over to the
court hou e with me ; I want the license."
You must go to the clerk."
The lad started off in great haste, and
a few minutes returned.
They say yon will marry me." -
" Yes, I do marry people sometimes, but
is customary to get a minister."
" What do you charge for marrying?"
" I never make any charge ; I marry the
boys, and they pay me whatever they
think it is worth."
" You will many me for a dollar, won t
"Yes; I always marry the boys, and
theypiyme whatever they think it is
worth." " -;
" WelL then, won t you marry me tor a
quarter in silver f
"Oh, yes; the law allows me two dol
lars; but I always marry the boys, and
they pay me Jut as I said, Just what they
think it is worth."
8o the fudge started for the clerks
office with the pallid youth, and adminis
tered the marriage ceremony in these few
words : " By the authority which I hold
my hands, I pronounce you man and
Somebody called out, " i on are a mar
"WelL Ju'tge. you ousht to have done
for nothing ; it isnt-worth more than
dime no how!" : -
A tremendous burst of laughter follow
and the judge stood treat LouievSia
Beyond Per Cent.
General Craft, one of our prominent
lawyers, was hailed while passing Free
man's iewelry store, by the proprietor
with, " General, come in here a moment;
have something for you to solve. If
brings a watch to be fixed, and it
me ten cents to do it, and I keep it
week, and charge him $8, what per cent.
I make? We have been figuring, ard
make it 000 per cent, and have only get
toll. How much do you say it will
beatftsr- , ,
"WelL" replied the General, "I do not.
wonder at your perplexity, for it ia well
known, and the celebrated Babbit calcu
lating machine haa demonstrated, that at
certain points m progressive numbers tee,
s-nveming them changes. ' In this case
law would change, and long before it
would reach the f o it wouia run out oi
cent and into what Is known as iar-