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[From teh Peoria (Ill.) Democrat.]
HAVE WE ANY WOMEN AMONG
In asking what n.ny ccm to some
at an exceedingly ridiculous as well as
exceedingly impertinent quostion, wo
Lave reference to something moro than
locroly tho fominino gender in contra
distinction from the masculine. We
are perfectly, and Lad almost said
painfull aware, that a very largo and
influential portion of society is com
posed of pen tie tilings who boar to
boards, although occassionully uecusod
of wearing another part or their hus
bands opparcl who never swear or lose
their torn nor : who Lavo the Lost scats
in tho theater, concert room and syna-
Koeue ; tho bent plates at tho dinner
table, and tho nicest portion of tho
dinner itself : who nro the only suffer
crs Irom 'disappointed affection," the
only victims ot brokon honrts ; who
turn the planet topsy-turvy with their
lovo and lovers ; whoo board and dry
goods bills it is our delight to pny
whose smiles nro our sufficient, reward;
whoso tears we can never resist ; who
twist men around their little tingcrs,
and tbot; fling thorn away lileo soiled
gloves ; who, by common consent, aro
licensed to toll tho whitest of lies with
tho straightcst of luces nnd to change
thoir minds us often us it may suit
their interest or convoniente; who
never havo to stand tho draft or go to
wi.r. but still do not hcsiimo to cm
bruco tho profession of arms; who
havo been the fruitful text of threo
fourths of tho fighting, and lour fifths
of tho poetry which huvo desolated
and delighted tho wor'.d; whom wo
may meet every Jay and live with a
lifetime, yet never know; whoso exqui
site tact is more than a match for all
our intelligence, and whoso instincts
are butler than all our culture: without
whoso presenco I-Jen was a null for
Adam, and with whoso presence Lcll
lias trained a liberal proportion
Adam's children; whose weakness
alike Ler protection and her strength:
whoso subtle intliienco 'rule the court,
tho camp, tho grove," und is well nigh
omnipotent for good or ill; who, in tho
pure ana sucrod relations or mom or,
daughter, sister and wife, robscurth
ball its sorrow, and foreshadows hull
the bliss of heaven; who is at onco to
tally unaccountable and totally indis
reusable; who aro-as they ought
bethe very Uoarost of all luxuries
Yes we know that in this sense of tho
wold there are quito as many wor.ion
among us as ciu bo conveniently man
lint wo allude to women in nlons ro
mantic ard sentimental, though in
much more important nud practical
sense. Vo mean women in n com
ploto and perfect physical organization
such as she was lutemicu to Do
ualureund natures dud. ii.ivo
any of those amongst us ? It bo, whore
and how many? To a thoughtful, ob
serving man, who has pasiod tho ago
when tho mere Bight of crinoline,
tho flutter of a daintv pa'r of ankles
dazes Lis brain und confuses his jtidgo
:oent. it would ulmoxt seem that
America tho race of women nro dying
out, and will, 1:0011 becoiro unequal even
to the task usugiiod tuem ty 1110 cyn
"To euckle fool. nd chronicle email beer."
Bright faces, Frlph-like waists, fairy
like forms, unexoeptionablo toilotteR
aud all tho outward panoply of f'omnlo
charms are by no means raro but
Low often do we see u really blooming
healthy woman, fit to discharge
soloiau and ull-imnortuut duties
wife-hood and muiernity? Possibly
onco a week; probably once a month
Stout, well-built men &ro common
enough; stout, well-built women
viewed in pictures and road of m books
but they seldom dawn upon ouraaton
ishod gar.o oa this of tho Atlantic
losst, in '-our best society.
Driving with tt friend through
streets of Chicago a few months sinco
wo wore lett in tho curriugo for u
hour with no society butthoconchmun
Fortunately wo had drawn up just
oppos'ito a celebrated depot of w
is technically known ns -ladies' furn
ishing eoods." nnd tho Lugo plutoglass
windows displayed an assortment
tbo aforesaid "goods," which would
have shockod a superlatively modost
man. Description would bonsimpos
nihla as imnroner: but wo never
foro were confronted with such palpa
tio proofs ot tho (Icceittulness oi
pearunces and tho chronic dilapidation
of the female figtiro. Hero wore
strange contrivances iutondod,
faith, to bo "tho substance of things
Loped ior. tho evidonco of thing
seen;" hero wore shape, stylo and con
tour at so much npieco, according
tho locality whoro 01 cu was needed
Lore was material enough to convict
anv lady who used it and married
terward of obtaining a husband undor
falso pretorses, nnd ground enough
rive him ft divorce; hero wero all
appliances of art and all tho buries
ques upon nature; hero was a fash
ionablo American woman ot tho nmo
teentu century dissected and set
' for tho wondor and shame of tho pop
ulaco; bere was beauty decidedly "una
domed,' bat by no means ' adorned
most;" hore wus an awful sarcasm
nr manner of hving, its consequen
FEBRUARY 6. 5868.
ces, ilt suro result; hero was an ante
mortem examination, whoso graceful
eloquence was more powerlul than An
hundred lectures upon physical edu
cation, and here was the consummate
flower ot our female-civilization.
Imagine such a spectacle as this in
tho etroels of New York, Boston or
Philadelphia even fifty years ago I
Our grandfathers and gmndmolhcrs
would have flod from it ns from the
glando of tho Evil One. Yet to-day it
is a recognized institution to supply a
recognized demand. Woman aro dy
ing by inchos; smitten with a sort of
atrophy; lacking in all tho essential
vital lorces. Instead of reaching their
proper perfection in mnrringo, nod
entering upon a raoto graceful and
beautiful physical career as wifo nnd
mother, tho wedding peal is to often
but a prelude to tho funeral knoll, and
the bridal couJi a step to tho coflin.
In England a woman nt thirty-tivo is
in her prime; in America a woman at
that age is generally a fr.ded, broken
down invalid, with hardly ability or
energy enough to put in order her own
room. In Jnglana women sixty ears
old will take their "constitutional" of
six or eight miles without noticing it;
in America a young woman who could
walk half tho distunco without coming
homo nnd going to bed, would bo sent
tor by Uni num. in iuglund women
rccognizo tho benefit of open air und
abundant exercise; in America, sho
shuns both ns though they wero a pes
tilence. Ihe bngiish, as a raco, nro
not deteriorating; tho Americans, as a
race, at e. Wo may bo saved
from extinction by tho now blood
brought into tho country by emigra
tion, but that is apparently our only
hope. N hen will wo recogiuzo the
fact thut thcro can be no rcaily sound
mind without a sound body? When
will wo obey thoso simple laws of
clothing, diet nnd exercise which load
to health? When will wo go back to
thoso old fashioned principles and
modes of lifo which prevailed when tho
"Nuriud by .Irons men w'tb Empiro in thoir
When will wo ccaso to sacrlfico every
thing which mukes life desirnblo, to
etiquette and conventionalities?
When will women givo that attoniion
to their physical organization which
thej now bestow upon 11 few trifling
accomplishments that never survive tho
ud vent if tho first occupant of t'io nur
sery? lor our own part, wo Lad rather
daughter of ours should havo rosy
checks, sound lungs, straight limbs,
clour head nnd good appetite, than to
enual Lisiz 011 tho piano, Raphael on
canvuss or bo able to ask for her
breakfast in twenty different langua
ta Tho chancellor was sitting in
his study over a table of papers, 'vhen
a vounir and lovely girl slinluly rus
tic in her attiro, siii'imy cuioarrusscu
bv tho novelty of her position, thor
oughly in command of her wits en
tered tho room and walked up to tho
lawyer s chair.
'ilv dear," said tho chancollor, ns
ltig and bowing with old world court-
cy. "who nro you ?"
.Lord JMuoo, unsworca 1110 biubii-
ing maiden, "i am jjessie uriugo,
Wooblv. tho daugrtor of tho Yicar
Wooblv. und papa has sont mo
remind j-ou of a promise which you
made wh:u 1 was a little baby, and
vou wero u guoai in ins nouso on tue
occnssion ot your nrtl oicetson
member of rurliamont for Weobly.
'A promise, my deal young ludy 1
interposed the chancellor, trying
recall how he had pledged himself.
"ics, Ijord iMdon, a promise, lou
were standing over my cradle when
papa sum to you : 'Mr. cott, pronuso
mo that if ever you are lord chancollor
when my liltlo girl is n jioor clergy
man s wife, you will give nor husband
a living,' aud you answered: 'Mr.
Brideo, my promise is not worth half
crowji, but 1 givo it to you, wishing
wero worth moro.
Enthusiastically tho chancellor ox
"You aro quito right, I admit tho
obligation. I remember all about it,'
nnd thon utter a pause, archly survey
ing tho damsol, whose grnces wero the
reverse of tho mnlronly, ho udded :
"But surely tho time for keeping my
nromiso has not yet arrived ? You
cur.not bo anybody's wifo ntprosont."
For a tow sjconds Bessie hcsitulod
for an answer, and thon, with ti blush
und a ripplo of silver laughter, sho
"No; but I wish to bo somebody's
wifo. I am engaged to n young clergy
man : und thcro is a living in Ilero-
fordshiro, near my old Lome, that has
rocontly fallen vacant, and it you'll
givo it to Alfred, why thon, .Lord JM
don, we shall marry beforo tho end
Is thcro need to say that the than
collor fjrwith summoned his sec ret
ry, and tho secretary forthwith made
out tho presentation to Bessio'a lover.
nnd thut having given tho chancellor
kiss ot gratitude, Bessib made good
snood back so Herefordshire, hugging
tho precious document tho whole way
The Actor's Ruse.
It happened, in tho summer of '62,
that Charley (wdl known to the
profeosion) and I wero traveling Irom
the West to fulfil an engagement with
Ward, who bad opened a theatrical
campaign in Quebec. Wo had arrirod
at Montreal "right side np with cure,"
and while noking the proprietor of tho
hotel tho best means of traveling from
that city to "ye anciei:to capital.' a
stranger stepped into tho bar, and from
tho covert glance he cast at us. and
his style of tirecs, we at once saw that
be was a professional gambler, and
not liking his company, we wero light
ing our cigars to go out when ho, partly
guessing, ns wo thought, our intentions,
stepped out before us; and then tho
proprietor, in answer to our questions
about tho best route, said that there
wns u snldr.did line of steamers from
that city to Qebec; buj to look out for
tho person wo had met, as he was on a
par with tho notorious MissiKtippi
gamblers, and plod his "bia" regular
on the bout between Montreal nnd Quo
bee. Thanking him tor his udvico we
adjourned to our room to prepnro our
things, nno ns it wus nootit two hours
bei'oro the boat started, I went down
down to tho billiarJ room to "shoot a
string." When 1 got back I was as
tonished to seo Charley ilggod up in
his costume ns Asa, in "Our American
Cousin," nnd npon asking nim what ho
meant, ho said that for a dav or two
ho wns "Seth Kiddcl." irom Vermont
n big thing on hogs, and bound to skin
tho Canadian catamount.
On getting on bonrd tho Columbia
and going to the bar, thero, sure enough
was our friend of tho ufternoon, dress,
cd to kill, and ptirtuking of a mint
julep. Just then , Seth camo in, and,
clapping mo on tho bucu, saia :
'Well, durn my pictur, it hyur ami
Harry i'rice, from down to our State
Why. whar on airth did yo git thorn
slap up fixins ?" alluding to my chain
suit ot broadcloth, etc. "whv, bless
my eyes, you du look kinder nice, but
como, lets lickerl bay strHngor,
pointing to the Frcnchuion, won tyou
After getting our "swipes and ci-
gars, Both, while paying, iook goon
caro to show' a wallet well tilled
with notes, to tho admiring eye of the
gambler. After Biindry wets, tho con
versation. turned on cards; nnd
as it was getting lato. the stranger
proposed u game, but Soth broko
"Nua, yon don't, stranger; my gal tu
hum nid I had not ortcr touch 11 keor-
cd, and as I huvo jest got rid of them
sheep, 1 rather guess I'll hang on tu
The stranger thon set down, nnd
picking out throo cards, began fooling
with them, and upon my asking him
what ho wns doi i ', ho showed both
card, and asked him to watch it and
point it out. Seth did so, ana ousor--cd
that his "brother Zeke, kneo-high
ontu a grnsshopper could du that!"
"Well,, replied tho lronciiman, "i
don't think ho eotid, nor you cither."
AH right," said Beth; "I'd like
to bet a quarter of my pilo on HI
and Seth laid down five Lunder dollars
every cont Lo had in tho world; but
tho gamblor, thinking ue nna nieon
hundred dollars more, usca ido cards
ana let him win.
' Try ng tin," said French.
"Wall, no, I rather guess not, this
fivo hundred dollars yu eoe'll buy thorn
air oxon for tho farm, and a vilo
sparo; and besides, stranger, I could
win every timo, and wouldn't like
rob yu; but us its again my grain,
pu t like a pair of bantam roostorf?, lot's
As wo wero going down tho cabin
stairs U tho bar I hoard tho click of
pistol, nnd upou turning round was
Just in timo to seo tho gambler leveling
it at Seth; putting all my forco to my
blow, beforo ho :ould pr!ng the trig
ger, I struik him full in tho eyes, fel
ling him liko an ox.
Wo just then nrrivod in Quoboe, and
wont 11 shore. Wo never saw our
"snortsinan" again. Charley and
took a trip to Europo that fall, partly
iim tho Blrenirhth of tho five hundred
dollurs, ur.d lo crown all, he is now ono
af tho stars of tho great metropolis
Neatness is notgaudincss.any more
than mero words nro good senso.
TnE Chineuo claim to havo discover
ed America from tho WCsi, a thousand
yours before Columbus.
Raiuioad bridges in Conncc'cut now
Lavo electric signals which notify en
gineers of approaching trains whether
thd draw is closed ur not.
TiiElibrnry of Congressis thoiargest
111 tho United States. A sepurato
building will soon bn required.
An englo was rocenlly nhot at Bruns
wick, Mo., mousuring seven feet
uiul a quarter inches from tip to tip
wings. This is the largest yet.
The height of modesty is that of
young lady, desiring a leg of chickon
at table, suid "I'll take tbo part that
ought to bo droeaod in drawerfl."
Tn wat Smithson 00T Married. 1
Mr. Smithson (an improvement on tho
tolobrated name Smith.') wished to!
take Miss Brownly (another improve-1
ment) to the opera. Ho had boon on
terms of intimacy with tho family for
about five years, but "never spoke of
love ;" on the contrary, ho bad fre
quently declared his intention of lead
ing a bachelor s 1 110. une morning lie
called, and was admitted.
"Oh, James I exclaimed Miss Jane,
"where Lavo you kept yourself so
This took Smithson a littlo aback,
for he had spent th preceeding eve
ning with tho family. Before ho
could answer, howevor, Jane's brother
and sisters (ten in number had gath
ered about him. Summoning all bis
conrago ho said, I havo como to ask
you ', .
"..Not hero, James noi now on 1
"That is," stammered Smithson, "if
you aro not engaged "
"Whais that: inquired noriainer.
"Who Bays sho engaged ?"
"1 din t mean " said Smithson in
"Of conrso not," continued Mr.
Brownly ; "you've been our favorite I"
Hum advancing nnd taking poor
Smithson's hand, he said, "Tako her:
sho is a good girl, an i lovos you to
distraction. May you both bo happy
as tho day is long. '
Thereupon father, mother, nnd chil
dren, crowded around Smithson for
joy ; and company coming in ni mo
moment, mo alluir was told to mem as
a profound secret. So Smithson got ft
wifo without popping tho question,
almost beforo ho knw it himself. But
wo cannot help thinking lie was hur
ried into matrimony.
The Whole Question.
TnE National InttlUnenccr sums tip
tho whole question at issuo between tho
Piesident nnd Congress :n tho louow
ing terse and and conclusive argu
1st. Every Stnto has a right to rep
resentation, or it Las not. .That every
State has such a right is to clear for
2nd. Tho Southorn States nro either
States, or they aro not. If not, it ci
ther must have happened from thoir
own action or tho uetion of tho Gov-
ornmontof the United States.
It could not h.tve been by their own
action, because that has always been
hold by the Unuod States, in this re
i?ard. to bavx been a nullity.
It hns not been by tno action 01 me
Unitod Stnto-, bocauso every act of
Prcsid ent Lincoln, nr.d Congress, nnd
the Supremo Court during th ) wur. and
vcry act of President Johnson, many
of Congress, nnd the Supreme Court,
sinco tho war, nssunio that tho insur
rectionary Stato aro States. This could
not bo otherwiso, for thero is no power
in any Department of tho Government
of tho Unitod States to destroy States.
Neither the insurrectionary States could
destroy themselves, nor could Congress
or a brunch of tho Government destroy
them. The only way by wind' they
could bo destroyed would bo by tho
Northern people, ns ai: act of violence.
No such act bus tniton place.
The Into insurrectionary btatep are
therefore still States. They Lavo
right to representation. YotCongross,
tho creature of the Constitution, act
ing under the Constitution, and bound
by it, and sworn lo abide by its provi
sions, assumes tho imperial power of
refusing representation to those Stales.
Can anything be imagined moro in vio
lation it the Constitution ?
If Congress cun deny representation
for one year, it enn do so indefinitely,
aud tho Constitution bo treated as
much waste paper.
What a mockery of republican insti
tutions! What a burlosquo on n writ
ten Constitution I V hut 11 commentary
on tho spirit of Ihe laws!
And the President is threatened by
Infuriated partisans because ho urges
that tho reuuironnents of tho Connlitu-
tion bo obftcrvod. Alas I upon what
melancholy times wo bnvo fallen I
What 11 n illustration to tho civilized
t world of the beautiful workings of ro-
pubucan institutions I
Befoue tho negroes wero liberatod
nnd became "free Americans of Afri
can descent," tho "loyal" disunion
mongrel organs used to tell how de
based and ignorant they wero kept
their masters. Now, however, they
soy these samo "colored brcthern" aro
very intelligent. n.ore so tliHn the
Irish or Dutch, and just tho kind
pcoplo to make voters of. This
"swinging round tho circle."
Or tho sixty ltadieuls elected to tho
Virginia Convention, twenty-five aro
negroes; a majority of them vcrv ig
rrorunt, and s niio ot them notorious
criminuls. That is a specimen of tho
sort of Republican government
which the Hadicals aro clamoring.
Ciiaiuf.s Lamb suys : Tho greatest
pleasure 1 know is to do a good action
by stealth and to bavo it found out
A ivniiE wild cut in reported to havo
boen seen in the woods of Hartford
county, Cocd. , ,
The Great American Show.
Bond holder to bis wifo "Now, my
dear, we will ride out and soo our show.
It is so nice to have a show of yocr
own, and such a show as never was
"Go slow driver so as not to jolt
madam and I.
"You wonder, my dear, where I got
all my money. I will toll you now.
You know that tin box which I keep
in tho bank? Thai is full of Unitod
States bonds. 1 draw G0,0(H) a year
in gold as iutorest, and as I have hot
taxes to pay, of courso we can enjoy all
"Vou soo ibis cage ? That is a farmer
one ot our slaves. Ho is a working
tool of ours- a well-meaning man car
ried away byjlhe uegroes gag; crazy on
that subject, but entirely wining 1000
vote his davs to labor to pay taxos to
support me id ldlene. I pay no taxes
ho is willing to pay them all, and to
nav interest la gold on my pile of
" What does his wife do?"
"Oh. mv dear, sho works hard
washes milk pans, churns, rubs, BTubs
patches and dams sells eggs, butler,
chickens and turkeys to us, to got a lit
tlo money to pay bucu 10 us iaes.
Sometimes sho "voeps und mourns over
hor lot; but wo must not bear ucr, my
"Th e nest cage contains a relumed
soldier, a mechanic Ho wns ft niCO
man. wont to war. fought, lost u leg
came homo, and is now working to pay
taxes to support tho ijrovernuiout and
pay us nabobs."
"it mat riant 7
"l'ahaw 1 mv dear I Don't aBk sucl
foolish Questions I Might inakos right
vou know I Ho was a poor fool. Ho
believed all us Radicals saiu, uuu was
so engagod in fighting for his country
. . :. .. . . - j 1
that ho did not notice how nicely our
good, loyal, speculatingCongrcss wound
tho bands about lnm. Jio nuu a oroiu-
or in theni my killed on a raid fot tho
cotton our cousin tnnde so mucn money
from, you know. Ho is now working
t-j redeem Lis Lome from tho mortgage
wu nut on while ho wns gone and to
raise his nortion ol tho UJOO.OOO.OOO
yar in geld wo bondholders demand
"You kaow poor men always work
tho best when they are in dobt 1 That
is why a National debt is a National
blessing. Drive on slowly?"
Who is thut poor woman t"
Oh, sho is another one of our victims.
Sho hud 11 husband, ho went to war, iook
a cold whilo on u raid for cotton,
mules and silver waro. for the benofit
of Curtis, Logan, Butler, Ban and
other thieving Generals, and at last
died in a Lospitui. His wife, or his
widow, is now working to support tho
children. Tho Government is real
good to her pays hor bounty a few
pence a day lor her to areuin 01 nor
As us bondholders pny no taxos, and
it does not. cost us one cent to support
tho Government, we aro willing all the
women ot America should buve bouu
tios, an long us Ihey pay thomsolvos
from their own euruiu s and not forco
us protected bond-holders to pay them.
Lei them huvo bounties by all moans
and our interest is payubio in gold I
Dnvo on, slowly I
" What tain lhat cage?"
That, my doar, is upoor miner bo
is digging gold lor us bondholders.
Don't disturb bim don'tsay anything
till we puss him, for tho returns fiom
California und Montana load us to fear
a littlo troublo from such fellows.
But hero is my cage, my dear which
is nice. You wo those orphans all
work ? They aro otif slaves their
fathers died in buttle and us bondhold
ers support them. T? bo Buro, wo dont
pay for their bupport, but wo lovy
luxes on the farmers, miners, mechan
ics, widows and children of tho coun-
irv to sunnot t these institutions. We
mix up theso things, taking' caro
draw our interest in gold aud to sand
wich our cluims botwuon bounties,
'.rphuns, aft so tbo willing pcoplo
America toil 011 1 Ain t it nice, my
dear, to bo smart, an 1 run this bIiow
to suit a few of us bondholders?
Never mind that cage, my dear I
Driver, crack up tho horsos a littlo I
Touch that off one a littlo on tho flanks
with tho whalebono.
The cage is full of fallen women vie
tuns of political preachers, members
UongrcsM, uovernmcni oiucers, icencr
ous old deacons, and othors of tho God
and morality party. They wero onco
good girls, good women, but they fell
during tho war. But they pay taxes
to support us bond holder. they f urn
ish amusements for our manly sons
they add to tho rovonuo, and their
charges tiro distills which gather gold
fromTinfainy, and thai buys tho laces
you wear, my dear I Drivo on John I
"What cage is that f"
A very pretty os.o my dour. nold
on, driver. Don't yon hoar tho music
of iiiachinery ! .Tho victims nro facto
ry operatives of New England slaves
to. wealth, toilers to support us. Wo
work them curly and lato pay thorn
in greenbacks, whilo otir interests
payable in gold. They work more
hours eachduy thaneverdid tho slaves
of tho South. They livo poorer, and
work harder. Wo r&iso thoir wagos
once, acd then lower them three timo
U Ole vtkw.it Corner Ffclle lmu..
fCBUSMD ETEBT THURSDAY MORIH
T K It M l.
For on. jeer, payable in atWanc - -
Per all montlM, payable In olTor - - I
Fur three " pjyahle In .lrn:e - - -
JltSETH J. nN.lY.Fditer.
they work at tho sound of the whistlo
or tan ot tho bell march to their
boarding Louses in long lines like eon-
yiets, cat from boardir.g boose tables
and maks excellent sUves. XI they
knew their strength, they would upsot .
thir cage, but thut sturdy negro there,
with his rod, keeps them in very
It Is a very ntco show, my dear!
And now we will seo the fun I The
keeper will with Lis groat ileal hook,
go around nnd draw out the scrip they
earned whilo wo Lave been looking at
them, and it will serve to buy wino and
game for our dinners, pianos lor our
houso, silks far you, and more bonds
Wath sharp, my djnrl Yoa '
how the poor victims net as the boic
dt awf oat thoir earnings t Loan a littlo
back, lor some or them Lave soo a tu
and talk ol Repudiation.
UreatUod? Uut that word mini
mo tremble I
Now we can wn'."h thorn unobserved?
See tho farmer hold his aching back
us the hook drsgs oi't Lis earnings I
Bee tho s idow weep and loon wita
tearful eyes upon Ler dying child, as
tho hook brim's to as tho littlo she bat
Seo tho laborers rush to tbo drunk
ard's cip as their earnings are snatch
ed away I ihey say they might b
well spcnI their money for beer or
whisky as to support lis bondholders.
Hurry up, Mr. Keeper rake out out
all you can load my carriage and we
will bo off to drink the wino and en;ey
the luxric us bondholders purchase
with tho money hovked from the vic
tims that make up our groat show.
Kiss your lingers to tho victims, my
dear I They work better if we notice
thcui a little. Wave your embroidered
handkerchief to the csgo wehanstonod
by, that tho Inmate? innyseeour stylo
and treat our sons with mre attontion.
Rub a littlo of that imported cologne
ovor my ft.ee tho eight of swoat on the
faces of our victims muko minoa little
sticky I Don't put your foot up so tar;
wo nro aristocratic now protected
pots of Radicalism and muet act dis
It has just been decided by Judge
Miles, of tho Court In Novaia county,
California, that n negro can not bo con
victed of crime on Chineso testimony.
ITcro is a chance for African Abolition
ists. Mant of the dwelling housoi in Fifth
avonuo havo mirrors so placed as to r
floctin l!io bondoir tlio riuro of any
person standing at tho front door, by
which ' at homo," or "not at Lome,"
Greeley says tlint smoking is the
"vilest, most detustnblo abuse
of his corrupted . sensual appetite
wheioof depraved man is capable."
And yor Greoloy tells us in his auto
biography that bis mother smoked a
Gov. IIaioot, of California, is op
posed to an immigration of Chinoso or
any other Aajatio race. lie says :
"Ilistory ft.id experience show that
it is not tho dictates of philunthrcp'ay
or soiinl policy to locato together ia
one community racs so iniically dis
similar in physical, moiitnl nnd moral
constitution as tho U:iuuassiun. am
African, or Mongolian."
The South is becoming mi excellent
plnco for whito people to emigrate from.
Tho negroes nro allowed to boar arms,
while tho whites aro dobarrod that
prtvilogo. ' Tho'negroce go in &rmod
bands, and rob and plunder. If whiles
resist, ihey aro shot down. Whites
can no longer travel tho roads after
dark, nor hardly venturo O'lt of their
housos, after night fall. If they do,
dtnth eturoa them in :ho laco. The
whites must oither luavo and give up
the country to the negroes, er fight.
"He won't run well," said one poli
tician to another, who wero discussing
tho merits of u candidate.
"Won't run well eh ? why, ho run
liko tho devil at Bull Run," replied tho
Brown "Whoso bey's that Jcnoe?"
Jow "Out a rolativo of mine by
Brown " What relation ?"
Jones "A ion; that's all."
A Sr. Louis bride 'kqvh a trail fifteen
A Tender of hoop-ihirli roecntlj xtol
ling hit wi in preteuc of cutlouicr't tui
bund. "Jfo lady thoutd b wi'.liout on of tbsse
kirti" lil th( iliojimsn.
"Well, of courie not," dryly rponUl th
husband, who wai lamowbst of a wg, "ihe
hould bo within it."
'Wardon't you mount oleinoollar.Crown?
I mount one thrco tiiuc a day." "To," r
pYiti Brown to the iwhggoring Jones, "bt
very ouc'i mo'her lin't wmherwoman 1"
DocTOtt '! mn 0 Abernethjr, "mf
duf bter had a fit, and continued for half a
hour w.tiwut knowledge." "Oh;" replied h
dootor, 'aerer mind tOAtj aaaay
people eeatisne ail atnr five."