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EQUAL AND EXACT JUSTICE TO ALL WEN, OF WHATEVER STATE Oil PEIISUASIOX, IlELIGIOES Oil POLITICAL. That. J.-fferscn.
M'ARTIIUH, VINTON COUNTY, OHIO, MARCH 12, 1857.
vm 'lill' '1)111' 'lir'
iV Jy IM
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[From the Washington Star.]
THE FOURTH OF MARCH.
'Blessed are those that expect nothing, for they
hU Dot be disappointed."
I saw him ho had como
From his far distant homo
. In tho West ;
A jingling purse ho showed,
And in tho latest mode
lis was drost.
Bis face was all a smile
And ho talked all tho while
j How ho took
Such an int'reut in the lata
Election in his Stato
For old Buck.
He'd always felt tho ties
Of party lot it rise,
Let it full,
'Twas not for reward
That ht had worked so bard,
Kot at all.
Bat office he could bear
As the bravobt soldior'd wear
Which fix his rank, you know
And to the publio show
- What he get t
I saw him after that,
Be had a kinky hat .
On his hood;
Uis shoes were worn away,
And his pockets seemed to say
And loudly ho declared
That for party men ho cared
Ho scorned their dirty tricks,
And as for politics,
Folks saw tho sudden chungo,
And thought it wondrous strange,
At tho best;
Our friend did not oxplain,
But took an coly train,
For tho West.
THE HUMP-BACKED COUSIN.
TRANSLATED FROM THE FRENCH.
Behold an extraordinary adventure
of these latter days. If it were not an
extraordinary occurrcncc,one need not
A father of a family inhabiting tho
Kuodela Michordicro, received last
summer, a letter from his nephew,
who was in the employ of llydcr
Abad. The letter concluded thus:
"1 have received tho portraits of
my two cousins Marie and Margaret.
I have never had tho pleasure of Boe
ing them, as I have lived with Ilyder
Abad since my youth, but I am sure
they are resemblances. I will arrive
at Havre by the ship Inos Ego, about
the first of October, and on my arri
val, I am determined to marry tho
beautiful Mar ."
The breaking open of the letter had
destroyed tho rest of tho name. It
was impossible to tell if tho cous
in had asked for Mario or Mar
garet in marriage. Tho two sisters,
united previous to this time, com
menced to live in mis-understandings,
each of them positive that it was
the part of her name which was torn
off in breaking the seal.
The father employed his eloquence
in calming the anger of his daughters,
when a servant, sent in advance, ar
rived from Havre, announced that his
master went to Paris with tho even
The servant was overwhelmed with
questions, replied that his master was
ruined, and that he had moreover, on
his left shoulder, the horrid protuber
anco which had caused, accor
ding to Palnudo, bo many misfortunos
to SCsop, tho Phrygian.
The two cousins determined ,hereup-
on to remain single forever, before
marrying a cousin, hump-backed and
As they take this oath for tho thir
tieth time in twelve hours, the
cousin arrives. Ilia uncle warmly
embraces him, tho cousins mako a po
litobow, and turn away their eyes.
Tho undo then explains tho inci
dent of the torn letter asks the mat
rimonial intentions of his nephew.
"It is my cousin Mario whom I
camo to marry," ho replied.
"Never! never 1" screamed Mario.
"I am contented with lily condition,
and I will remain in it."
"Mademoiselle," 6aid tho nephew,
"I havo adopted the customs of tho
country where I havo been educated.
Bead tho customs of llvder Abad. in
Travesnier. Thcro wuen a young
man is refused an ofler ot marriage,
ho withdraws himself from society as
a useless being.
"Uo kills himself!" exclaimed tho
other sister, tho good Margaret.
"He kills himselfl" replied tho
nephew, in tho tono of a man about
to commit suicido.
"Tho poor cousin," said Margar
et, weeping, "to como such a dis
tance todio in tho bosom of his fami
ly." "I know," continued tho nephew,
"that my deformity afflicts tho sight
of a woman, but in time tho eyes of a
woman becomo habituated to all
things. I know, also, that my com
mercial business is not prosper
ous. Thrown very young into tho
diamond business, tha .only occupa
tion ot Ilyder Abad.l lost there all the
fortune of my father; but I havo ac
quired experience; I am young, nctivo
and industrious. These aro riches in
"Yes, yes, humn-backed and ruin
ed !" muttered Marie, in a bantering
"Poor younz man!" said Margaret,
and bIio adds, "my cousin, I am re-
tuseu, and you pay no attention ton."
"And by whom rofusedi" inquired
"But to vciir cost, by you, since
you have preferred my sister to me!"
"JMi. bein!" 6aid the cousin, "will
you accept me, if I ask you in mar-
j i n
nage irom my uncior
"I will engage rnvjutker to let my
"What!" exclaimed tho hump
backed, "you consent, my lovely
Margaret, to "
"Savotho life of a relative! Indeed
I will not waver a minute."
"This is well, my daughter," 6aid
the uncle, affected by the scene. Ro
mances have not spoiled you. I have
a very small incomo, but I ought
not to abandon the eon ot my brother
in misfortuno. I will keep him here
a3 kindred, for whero thero is enough
tor threo thero is enough tor tour."
The cousin threw himsell at Mar
garet's feet, saying:
"iou have saved an untortunate
man from destruction and death."
At a littlo distanco, Mario mutter
ed to herself:
"My sister has courage. As for
me, I would let all hump-backed cous
"Undo," said tho young man, "al
low mo to mako a slight toilet before
IIo pressed Margaret's hand bowed
to Marie, and left to change his travel
Tho uncle and his daughters were
at tho tablo and awaited their fourth
J. ho servant announced the cousin,
of Ilyder Abad.
Ihe two girls uttered two screani3,
but on different keys.
Ihey see enter a charming young
man! tall, without any hump-back,
who embraces Margaret, and placing
before her a basket, he says to her:
"Behold your marriage portion."
It was a basket full of diamonds.
It was moreover, the lump, which had
thus arrived froe of duties.
"Seo what I havo carried on my
shoulders," said tho cousin, "from
Bombay to Havre, to offer it to that
oneofmj cousins who would accept
me with my fsalo poverty and my
Thero was a great-joy in the house,
which was, astonishing as it may
seem, participated in by Marie. It is
true that Mane loves her sister dearly
without detesting the diamonds.
If you spend tho day profitably,
you will have cause to rejoice in the
As many days as we pass without
doing somo good, are so many days
Aristippus said ho liked no ploas
aro but that which concerned man's
Keep your eoul always in a state to
desire that thcro be a God ; and you
will never doubt it. .
A Texan correspondent of the New
Orleans Picayune tells a good Btory,in
one of tho letters,ofa"surly-faccd,griz-zly-haired,
cufly and moon-eyed chap,"
who persecuted a certain roguish dam
sel with his attention, and was finally
thrown off tho courso of true love by
tho following ruse:
It being the watcrmolon 6eason and
Betty's father having a fino supply,
all tfio youngsters for miles around as
sembled there on the holiday to feast
0. was prominent ia tho circlo till
the afternoon. Betty held, private in
terviews with tho other young men,
and arranged that 0. should be decoy
ed from the house, and be frightened
by the cry of Indians from some of his
comrades, which, it was thought,
would wound his prido and drive him
Fivo young men, with 0., walked
out. A bath in tho river three hund
red yards distant, was proposed by
one, and seconded by several. Of
course, poor 0. wa3"in."
They went down to tho ford, near
tho melon patch and began undress
ing. In tho mean time,cightof tho oth
ers, with guns, had gone down, under
cover of tho bank, and secreted them
selves along the path from the bathing-place
to tho house.
"Now.boys," said ono, "who will
bo tho first to divo into that 'ere
"I will," said 0.; ain't I first witL
tho galsl In cour60 I'm first here."
Off went coats, shoes, pants, &c.
Just as C. had dofi'ud everything, bar
ring a long flannel shirt bang! bang!
bang! Wh-wo-ych! Bang! went two,
threo, four, guns long and shrill
went tho Indians' yell in tho dense
brush under tho bank.
"Oh, Lord; I am a dead man, boys?"
said James Simpson.
"My leg is broken. Oh, save mc!"
cried George Williams.
"Run for life, men! run for mer
cy's sake, run!" cried Jack Parsons.
"One of my eyes is out, and both
arms broken!" all being said in an
Do you see that red blaze along tho
path? Look a moment what veloci
ty! Tho jagged hair all straight out
UUU1UU,U1UI, B V. UDUCUMU 11. 1VI HIU
houfio, ehirt and all. Seo lura about
the corner of tho field, by tho thicket.
Bang bang went a half a dozen
pieces; louder than ever, roso tho hid
"Oh! Lord!" shouted C, redoub
ling his speed the red blazes getting
larger bunches of liia - bushy hair
dropping out as ho "spread himself."
Sec him leap tho yard-fence high in
tho air red shirt and all.
Tho porch was full of ladies on
went two or threo moro pieces. C.
glanced at the ladies, then at his red
liun for your lifo, C," screamed
Betty; "tho houso is full of lndians.
Father's dead and brother Sam woun
ded. Run, speed!"
In tho twinkling of an cyo 0. wa3 out
of the yard; and, supposing the prcm
ses surrounded, off ho shot the red
blazes moro brilliant than ever and
striking directly into a thick, thorny
bottom, he reached and swam tho riv
er; and, although it was near sunset,
U. got into a settlement, fatty nines
distant.to breakfast next morning; still
retaining tho sleeves and collar ot his
red shirt, and reporting all the family,
visitors, &c, among tho slain. As
for himself, ho said he fought as long
as fighting would do any good.
It is uneccssary to inform you, dear
reader,whethcror not Betty was troub
led with C. after that snap.
Eng3 aro an important article
tho trado of Rio Janeiro. Their
wings aro made into artificial flowers,
and somo of the brilliant varieties are
worn as ornaments in ladies' hair.
One man manages to earn his living
by selling insects and other specimens
to the strangers who visit tho port.
Lie keeps twclvo slaves constantly
employed in finding tho bugs, ser
pents and shells which aro most in
demand. The nearest approach to
this is the trado of fire-flies in Ha
vana. The insect, being caught and
carefully fed on sugar-cane, ia used as
an ornament in ladies' dresses. Being
twice tho 6izo of tho American fire
fly, it is very brilliant at night. Tho
Creoles catch them ontho plantation,
and sell them to the city b&lles; 60me
of them carrying them in silver cases
attached to their bracelets. Thoy
make a fino display by lamp light.
Radhit SnooTiNG. An Irishman,
who recently went out rabbit-shooting
observed a jackass peeping over a
ncage, lmmeaiateiy jeveiea ms piece,
exclaiming, "Oh, and by the powers !
that must be tho father of all rabbits."
The Darky and the Deer.
"Mack," the Detroit correspondent
of Porter's Spirit, is responsible for
Tho good steamer Ion was coming
down tho beautiful St. Clair, when a
noblo buck wa3 seen swimming across
ahead of her. To lower away a boat
and give chase was only the work a
moment, and with a stout line he was
taken by tho antlers and safely brot'
upon the steamer's deck. A good
deal of admiration wa3 excited by his
fino proportions, and among his ad
mirers was tho cook, a goodly speci
men of "Afric's clime," who iraaain-
ed that, from thodocilo appearance of
tho animal, he was quiet as a sncep.
Ile therefore undertook to caress him,
and to lay his hands upon his haunch,
when ho was astonished by a vigor
ous kick, that luid him sprawling on
the deck. Nothing daunted, howev
er, Ctifl'oy thought to succeed better
by tho head, but tho deer, liking this
no bettor, mado a butt that laid the
poor darkey out again, and opened
an ugly gash on his woolly head.
This was too much of a good thing;
so Cuffey, when ho recovered himself,
stood at a respcctablo distanco, and
eyeing tho old buck, said:
"Now, look a here, Mister Deo', I
do'no whoso dee' you is, or. who you
b loner to: but if you do dat ar agin,
dar'll bo wenson aboard dis ' boat,
suro s yon live!"
Mal-apkopo. If thcro ia anything
calculated to take tho starch out of a
fellow, it. is to enquiro of a friend at
his elbow who that ugly, squint-eyed,
red-haired woman is, and bo answered,
"That lady, 6ir, is my wife!" It is an
accident, the liko of which has hap
pened to many of us, but wo have an
other which lately occurred in a car
upon a Pennsylvania Rail Road.
One of our old "stub and twist" poli
ticians, who was traversing a portion
of hU old stumping ground in Penn
sylvania, fell into a verv cncrro3sin!
j - "7 u c cj
conversation with an old gentleman, a
stranger, sitting near him in the car,
The talk ranffcd over subiects connect
ed with old times in tho Old Keystone
Stato, aud particularly tho old gov
ernors, and thoir cood and evil deeds
Our friend got rapidly posted, and
was muck fascinated by tho rich fund
of jnibrmatlnn. Hift nmiablo manners.
the happy mood, the noble appearance
of tho venerablo 6tranger. Our "stub
and twist" old silver gray at kist en
quired with much unction, "Well,
what has become ot that d d old
humbug, Gov. Ritncr?" Well, sir,
it is perhaps timo for mo to inform
you that I am no other person than
Lx-Gov. Ritncr himself." Contused
apologies followed of courso, and "stub
and twist" dried up about that timo.
Genuink Fools. IIo who wipes
his noso with a nutmeg-grater, and
picks his teeth with a razor.
bho who says "no" to tue proposals
of a gentleman when she has reached
tho ago of thirty year3.
IIo who gets so drunk every night
that ho puts liis clothes to bed and
hangs himself on tho back of a chair.
She who rubs her cheeks with brick
bat dust in order to give them color.
IIo who puts on his hat and takes
his cano and starts out in pursuit of an
honest and disinterested politician.
Sho who pinches and slaps a "child
to make it quit bawling.
Nobody seems to havo heard of that
chap in Aberdeen, Miss., who just
camo home from a year's absenco in
Nicaragua. On his way up from the
landing ho met quite a number of la
dies. After kissing his sister, &c,
"Pray," said he, "are all the girls in
Aberdeen married ? I met Miss A
. "Why, brother, Miss A
isn't married." "Not married! Nor
MissB ? nor Miss C ? nor
Miss" "Oh, pshaw ! brother," said
Sis, just beginning to catch the idea,
"that s nothing but noops."
A Puzzle. The following, from
tho South Baptist, ia commended to
our readers as containing excellent
advico, especially to newspaper sub
scribers. This remarkable production
is said to havo been found among the
papers of an aged aud very pious gen
tleman, now deceased. It is well wor
thy the attention of the curious. .There
is no doubt that it involves an impor
taut secret, as the deceased was known
to be a man of unnsual excellence of
worth and character :
ERU TUFIi CUM
Let pleasures be ever so innocent,
the excess is always criminal.
The Darky and the Deer. Uncle Sam--His Farm, his Pocket
and his Library.
Tho territory of tho United States
already embraces an area of three mil
lions threo hundred aud eighty-five
thousand square miles, while the great
Autocrat ot all the Russians can boast
only two millions one hundred thou
sand square miles in Europe, and tho
entire continent of Europe contains
only threo millions seven hundred thou
sand, exclusive, of course, of the Brit
Wo shall form a better estimate of
Uncle Sam's landed cstato by compa
ring it with John Bull's. England,
Ireland, Wales, and Scotland contain
only 125,900 square miles, with a pop
ulation over 27,000,000 ; while tho
United States with almost thirty timc3
that amonnt of territory, contains less j
than 27,000,000 population. Irom
this wo may iudgo something of Un
cle Sam's ability to accommodate tho ;
landless. Ihe btato ot loxaa alone,
with a population of less than a quar
ter of a million, has nearly three times
as much territory a3 all the British is
lands : and tho young State of Cali-
tornia is more than tnree times as large :
as England proper, with her 1C,000,OUO j
Alio territory ot tins country, not yet ;
lormcd into states, and consequently
uuder Uncle Sam's immediate gov
ernmental control, is vast enough to
supply homes tor millions and millions.
Nebraska territory alono contains over !
half a mi lion snuaro miles of soil,1
scarcely inhabited by civilized mau ;
IT " 1 , I 1'. 1
ivansas, oi wnicu our politicians nave
told us so much within tho last two
years, has over 130,000 square miles;
Washington Territory, 113,820, al
most twico as much as all the Now
England States ; Minnesota, 141,810 ;
tho Indian Territory, 180,170; New
Mexico, 210,770 ; Utah, tho land of
Brisham Yonus and the "peculiar in
stitution" of Mormonism, 187,025, and
Nor is it in land alone that this gov
ernment is prosperous and wealthy.
Tho lato Meesago of President Picrco
announces that tho total national debt
has been reduced to $30,737,120, "all
ot which," ho adds, "might bo paid
within a year without embarrassing
the public service ; but being not yet
due, and only reuccmaoio at tue option
of the holder, cannot bo pressed to
payment by tho government." How
ever much may bo said, iuetly or un
justly, of corruption, bribery, and
squandering tho public lunds tor ille
gitimate purposes, this extraordinary
financial prosperity of our government
is a just causo of gratulation. The
Sublic debt of England is four billions
ollar3 ; of Franco, over ono billion
one hundred millions ; of Austria, over
seven hundred millions, of Spain, over
six hundred millions.
This is not all, either, that our Un
do Sam can boast of. Thcro are more
public libraries, with moro books in
them, in tho United States, than in
any other country in tho world. Thcro
are no less than 15,615 public libra
ries in this country, containing nearly
five million volumes. Wo can boast,
of more miles of railroad than all
Life Illustrated. Big Things---Little Things.
WHAT MECHANICAL SKILL AND LABOR
A of iron at 3,
shoes, is worth $IG,50; needles, 855; penknife
blados, l:J,xs.; aliirt buttons, lJ'J.4ou; nuinnec
springsof watches, $230,000. Thirty-one pounds I
oi iron navo oeon made into wiro upwnns umne:
hundred and eleven miles in Iriijriu, una no tino
was the fabric that a part of it was converted, in
Curiosity leads us into a train of
calculation that ethers may be curious
to read. Wo measured, counted and
calculated, tho little lot of Pig Ihon
now ou the river bank, in Ironton.
Tons, .... 7,200.
Value, - - - $220,000.
In cords, the quantity is over 000.
' In square piles ot C ton3 each, the
usual form, placed in a row, it reach
es over a milo.
The pigs placed in a row, end to
end, reach over 200 miles.
A ton of Pig Iron is 22G3 lbs.; this
makes a ton ot Bar Iron, 2,000 Us.
Consequently in Bar iron the amount
is tho same in tons, 7,200 valuo at
60 per tou, $132,000.
Now recur to the data given by tho
Quarterly Review wo "figure" as
Horse shoesdn a ton of bar iron, 126
Needles, " 4,260
Penknife Blades, " 30,180
Shirt Buttons, 353,760
Balance Springs of watches, 3,000,000
Next we will take tho quantity of
Iron on our river bani:
Horse shoes, - 907,000
Needles, - 30,672,000
Penknife Blados, - . 282,096,000
Shirt Buttons, - '- 2,557,072,000
Balance Springs, - 21,000,000,000
The quantity of Pig Iron, thi n,' on
tho river bank in Ironton, made into
Balanco Springs of Watches, is worth
nearly twenty-two thousand millions
of dollars or twenty-seven times the
entire valuation of the Stale of
Ohio, in 1856!
And made into thafFje "wire," a
ton reaches 7,215 miles not quite
one-third tho distance round tho
globo. ' The littlo lot of iron on Our
bank mado into tho eamo kind of
wirejeaehes only the trilling distance
of ffty-licu milliom of miles! moro
than one-half the distanco to tho Sun!
over two thousand times round the
We will add in conclusion, tio
product of ono of our ,; Furnaces," in
full Hast, in a year, may be sot down
at 2,000 tons of Pig Iron. This iu
horso shoc3 amounts to 252.000; in
balanco springs $6,000,000,000 or
DC3 A number of politicians, all of
whom were seeking oflico under tho
Government, were seated on tlio tavern-porch
talking, when an old toper,
named D , camo up to tlioufT
Now, said D i3 a person who.
is very loquacious when 'corned,' but
exactly tho opposito when sober. At
tho present timo being 'tiht,'he said
if the company had no objection? ho
would tell them a story. . They tol l
him to 'fire-away;" whereupon he
spoke as follows:
'A certain King don't recollect
his name had a philosopher, upon
whoso judgment he always depended.
Now', it so happened that riio day
the King toolAt into his head to go a
hunting, and after summoning his
noble3, nnd making all the necessary
preparations, ho summoned his phi
losopher and asked him if it would
rain. Tho philosopher told him it
would not, and ho nnd his nobles do
parted. Whilo journeying along,
they met a countryman mounted up
on a jackass; ho advised them to re
turn, "for," said ho, "it will certain
ly rain." They smiled contemptu
ously upon him, and passed on. Be
fore they had gone many miles, how
ever, they had reason to regret not
having taken tho rustic's advice, as a
heavy shower coming up they were
drenched to tho skin. When they had
returned to tho palace, tho King re
primanded tho philosopher severely
for telling him that it would be clca'r
when it was riot. "I met a country
man," said he, "ami ho knows a
great deal more than you, for lie told
mo it would rain, whereas yon told
it would not."
"Tho King then gavo the philoso
pher his walking paper, md sent lor
the countrymen, who mado his ap
pearance. 'Tell me,' said the King,
'how you knew it would rain.' 'I
didn't kuow,' said tho rustic, lniy jack
ass told iuo.' 'And how, pray, did
ho tell yon ? ' tho King asked in as
tonishment. 'By pricking up his cars,
your majesty. Tho King now sent
the countryman away ; procuring tho
jackass, ho placed him in tho oflico tho
philosopher had filled. 'And here,'
observed D , looking very wise,
'here is whero the King made a mis
take.' 'How so 1 ' inquired his audit
ors. 'Why ever since that time,' said
D , with a grin on his phiz, 'every
jackass wants an office.' "
DGPThe great lakes of North Amer
ica havo recently becu surveyed, and
it is found that they cover an area of
90,000 square miles. The total length
oftho five lakes is 1534 miles. Lako
Superior, at its greatest length, is 355
miles; its greatest breadth is 160 miles;
mean depth 988 feet ; elevation abovo
the sea 627 feet ; area, 32,000 squr.ru
miles. Lako Michigan is 300 miles
long; its greatest breadth is 10S miles;
its mean depth is 0.00 i'oet ; elevation,
0S7 lect ; area, 20,000 square miles.
in its greatest length.
is 200 miles :
its greatest lrcauti is
160 mile3 ; mean depth, 300 feet ; ele
vation, 574 feet; "area, 20,000 eqnaro
miles. Lake Erie; is 250 miles long ;
greatest breadth, SO miles; mean depth
200 feet; elevation 555 feet; area,
6,000 tcjioo,i! tnilcs. Lako Ontario,
has a length of ISO miles, r.A Ua
mean breadth'is 65 miles; mean depth
500 feet; elevation above tho ocean
202 feet ; area, 6,000 miles.
Applause is tho spur of able minds,
the end and aim of weak ones.
Whero love i3, thcro is no labor,
and if thcro is labor, the labor is loved .
Wisdom ia better without an inher
itance, than an inheritanco without
A seasonable gathering, and a rea
sonable spending, mako good he use-keeping.
03 A Pacific Bail Eoad across
South America is talked of in Chili.
Tho proposed lino runs from tho La
Plata River to Valparaiso.