Newspaper Page Text
ED. L. BLUF, Editor anil Proprietor.
PERRYSBURG, : OHIO.
ONCE UPON A TIME.
Oh yes, lio'a a decent young fellow,
I've notlilnff nprsttnst hltn, my doar,
And It's UUo that ho thinks he is courting,
And It's wholesome, n hit ot n for.
Dut when I think hack to my girlhood,
And your grandfather ho was tho boyl
If theso days were thoio days, my darling,
Uy this I'd ho wishing you Joy.
Ho courted nt fair and at frolic;
Ho toasted mo more than ho ought,
And I don't llko to think, to this day, dear,
How ho looked tho day after ho fought.
Twns all it mlstuko that ho fought fori
Tho other hoy wasn't to blamoi
Twas only a fancy of Talbot's
That MlUo laughed in speaking my nara
And the ways Talbot asked mo to have him I
Ho'd not even pass mo tho tea.
Dut he'd look in my eyes and then whisper:
"If was that teacup, machreol"
If I'd give him my hand just In friendship,
Ho'd sigh to his hoots, or lis deep,
And say, in his beautiful accents:
"An, when can I hao it to keep!"
It seemed that 1 couldn't well help it;
I just plagued him out of his life,
Though still to myself I kept saying
"Tnns I that soino day'd bo his wife.
And then caino thu day of tho jaunt, dear;
'Twas to nu old ruin wo went,
And ho vrnndered mn off with himself, like,
And I, for tho once, was content.
I fancied n llttlo bluo flower,
That grew In tho crack of the wall,
Aaft ho climbed llko a goat till he picked it,
And some way he managed to fall.
I don't know to this day how I did If,
Ho'd have slipped to his death, nt the lust,
Hut I caught his two foot in my hands, dear,
And held for his life safe and fast.
And that boy, as he was, upsldo down there,
And groping about for his life.
Calls up: "You'vo my fait in your hands,
Let go ir you'll not bo my wife!"
Could I murder him? Xo, that I couldn't!
1 gave him no answer nt all,
I only held fast till he'd managed
To catch his two hands on tho wall.
I stood there, all laughing and crying,
And, well, you might fancy tho rest
If you could but these days are so different,
And oath thinks her own day tho best.
Thcro'd not be another llko Talbot,
No matter the day or tho year,
And your boy's a nice, quiot, well-mannered
I hope you'll bo happy, my dearl
Margaret Vandegrlf t, in Brooklyn Life.
A HOPELESS CASE.
Why Eleanor Gavo TJp Hor Soarch
for an Idoal Man.
The sunshine was dazzling1 that af
ternoon, and in tho golden November
stir swooping freshly down between the
rows of tall houses on cither hand you
tasted at its best that keenest of stimu
lants iced oxygen. It was a day of the
Rods, fit to put new life into the most
despairing' soul, ar.d its invigorating1 ef
fect was plainly visible in the bearing
of a earefully dressed, slightly rotund
prentlemau of middle size and something
ess than middle uge as he came around
the corner of the uremic and walked
briskly southward. This plump, well
groomed gentleman was Mr. Anthony
.Amory; his was not a despairing soul,
However, in spite of the fact that he
was on his way to plead for the last
time as he had resolved what he felt
to be a hopeless case.
He rang the bell at tho last house in
the block, and was ushered into the li
brary. As he entered that remotest
ami most individualized of the 'more
rpublie apartments of thu Winchester
liouse, he wondered, as he had often
wondered before, how it was thut
Eleanor Winchester had impressed her
personality so strongly upon it that the
room seemed alive around her. To his
znind, at least, oven such stolid things
as the chairs, the rugs and the book
cases loileetod somethiug of that alert,
intense spirituality combined with a
dasli of chic which was her own especial
charm. .Some one had said once that
Miss Winchester united a New England
soul and a New York style, and to his
apprehension the same piquant com
bination was carried out in her sur
roundings. There had been other days, plenty of
them, when he had also wondered how
it was that a girl of this type had at
tracted Anthony Amoryj ho had, in
deed, supposed that he was safely past
the sentimental stage of life. Those
days, however, were long over. Now
that he had recovered from the first
shock of surprise at finding that he
was. if anything, worse hit than he
might have been ten years carlier.it
beemed as natural us the sunrise thut
he should vIove her.
Tho present visit, nlthough it was
the first timo Mr. Ainory hud seen Miss
Winchester since her return to town
the week before, was evidently not of
the nature of an ordinary call, and
after the first interchange of greetings
neither of them pretended to treat it as
such. She was sitting near the win
dow in nn immensely puffy and com
fortable chair, and when he had taken
his seat opposite her, where ho had the
best light on her face, they surveyed
each other in expectant silence for a
moment; then Mr. Amory bent for
ward and picking up a carved paper
cutter from tho table scrutinized it at
tentively. "I beiievo tho timo is up," he ob
iscrved, "in which you undertook to
formulate your objections to me. As
you were saying Inst June"
"Of all the foolish things I said last
June that promise was the most fool
ish!" "Because your objections are bo nu
merous''" "No. Because tho formulation of
them is so hard."
"I do not feel disposed to let you off
the contract," said Mr. Amory,
ntuoothly, still examining tho paper
Up to this point Miss Winchesterhad
been leaning back in tho big chair;
now she hold her lltho figure erect
crossed her hands in hor lap and lifted
lier eyes fearlessly. An ndorablo grav
ity settled down upon her face.
"Please notice that I have not asked
you to," she said. "I have decided to
tell yon all ubout it. You know I nev
r have. The other tiinus wo havo
I talked nbout this we have not done it
seriously and calmly "
"I wns serious enough," murmured
Mr. Amory, but alio ignored tho inter
ruption. "You hnvo been excited, and I am
nfruld 1 hnvo not been hist"
I "it is not iustico I want at your
hands." Sho waved this remark aside.
"That first," sho said.
"Ho on, than, and bo just"
Apparently the tusk she ha d sot her.
self was not tin easy one.
"I iltiro suy I am going to make somo
impossible remarks," she began, uncer
tainly. "Don't got nervous," said Amory
reassuringly, "nothing that you say is
going to make any difference, you
"You told me once," sho said slowly,
casting about for hor words, "that I
was consumed by the passion for per
fection; and everybody admits that all
tho world wants love."j
"Do you know don't you think thero
exists in every human heart an iuap
peasable thirst for perfect lore?"
"I am not hero to generalize about
humanity. I only know what I myself
have felt, and that I have told you
Miss Winchester passed her hand
quickly across her forehead, as if to
brush away the llttlo frown that had
"Other people have sometimes told
me that they had found it," sho went
on, steadily. "1 may be unjust, but it
has seemed to me that usually they
were very easily satisfied; and yet
thero have been some of them I have
envied from the bottom of my heart.
Is it my fault that I have not been able
to be satisfied, too? You know I have
been more or less admired, but so far
it has always happened that the admir
ation I have received has seemed to
mo too light n thing to bo serious with.
Can you imagino what it means to
know or think you do exactly what
you want, and to really wish for it,
and never to have it come near you,
but instead to have the cheapest, taw
driest imitations of it thrust into your
hands? Whr, it seems to me it is the
life of Tantalus!"
Miss Winchester was breathing
rather hurriedly now, but sho took
courage from the impassive, attentive
face of her listener and went on brave
ly: "After a few experiences I stopped
expecting anything different. But I
could not change my ideals, you know,
because life and Jove did not prove
what I had thought them."
Amory's eyebrows went up a line at
this statement, but he said nothing,
and the girl went on:
"Then, pretty soon, Imctj-ou. You
struck me at first as such a Philistine
of the Philistines, with your irre
proachable surroundings and your air
of having seen and experienced every
thing, and found it all pretty good
yet of thinking all the wfiilo there was
really nothing worth putting yourself
out for but a comfortable life and your
little joke that I never dreamed you
were going to care anything about
anyone so different as I am, nor that
you could care in the way you have."
"In the way 1 do," Amory corrected
"I thought you were too satisfied
even to be interesting. I admit that I
was mistaken and that 3-ou arc several
things no one would ever dream you
wore good things, I mean and I ad
mit that I like you very much, but
don't you see'.' it is your very excel
lencies that are against you. You are
worse than the others, because you
como so near, and 3'et do not attain.
It is criminal in a man to approach so
near a woman's ideal and then fail
The light that burned in Mr. Am
ory's eyes was not wholly amiable, but
his voice was quiet us he said:
"I knew all this in a general way be
fore; that is, I suspected it. Wo are
not getting on. Those objections of
yours, those deficiencies of mine 1
beg you to specify them."
"If you were used to arguing with
women," observed Miss Winchester
maliciously, "you would not expect to
'get on.' "
"You are not liko other women," he
said, simply, with a lover's conviction.
"You will not evade or put mo off."
The girl Hushed. "Have I not said
enough?" she demanded "Did I not
tell you in June it would bo a sacrifice
to marry you?"
"What then?" he urged. "Did you
not also tell mo once that lovc'could be
demonstrated only by sacrifice?"
"Ami protending to love you?" sho
"I had forgotten that momentarily,"
murmured Armory, dejectedly. "But
the objections? Surely, I have a right
"Very well, if you insist. But if you
do not liko what I say, remember I did
not say it willingly," she warned. "In
tho first place, I admire men who' have
force, who can bo powers in the world.
I do not mean that you are weak, but
that you ure indifferent You are only
a power in tho world of diners-out"
"I udmire thu beautiful self-possession
with which you say horribly cruel
"I knew you would take it badly I
Hut I did -not mean to bo cruel; I am
only trying to be true."
"I wish," lie said, fervently, "how I
wish you would bo untruo to' that cold
soul of yours for five minutes. I
wonder if you have any idea how dear
you can bo when you ure not trying to
"As I was saying, you caro too much
for social success," resumed Miss Win
chester, striving to speak with tho
calmness of a disinterested critic, and
"Ah, yes. What else?"
"You caro too much for tho things of
tho world1 tho luxuries and pleasures
of it. You earn about being comfor
table," sho said, disdainfully.
Sho hesitated. "What right have I
to say that yours is not a spiritual
life? And yet it is not!"
"In shorts-why don't you sum mo up
by saying that it would not occur to
me thut I needed tho consolations of
rollglon so long ns tho cooking was ex
cellent at my club?"
"How furious you arol How I must
havo irritated yott, to make you say
"Irritated is not precisely tho word I
should use," he returned. "When it
comes to untieing a race with a woman,
I probably am out of it, but that docs
not make it any tho plcasnntcr to bo
told so. You huvo been very explicit.
You leavo little to my imagination. I
think I understand you now. Of courso
wheu I hoped to meet your require
ments I was under tho impression that
thoy wero reasonable ones. You
always scorned to mo supremely rea
sonable, in spl'to of your enthusi
asms." Sho lifted an nppoallng baud, but ho
"I supposo I fuiled to appreciate Mie
fact that your ideals do not look liko
mo. A girl's ideal is not likely to bo a
trifle stout and perceptibly past thirty,
and I supposo ho novor has tho begin
ulng of a bald spot on his head."
Sho disdained to answer.
"And at dinnor ho probably cares
more about whom he takes out than
what is sot beforo him. I admit that
it is no longer the case with me unless
I am taking you out," ho continued.
"Of courso theso things aro serious
offenses against tho higher life, es
pecially tho stoutness; and thoy amply
demonstrate: that I am of tho earth,
earthy. I am glad it is proved to your
satisfaction, for otherwise, there have
been moments when I have been so
fatuous as to think that you might
after all find it hard to throw mo over
"It is hardly fair to talk like that,"
sho said, with suppressed agitation. "I
try hard to recognize tho facts of life.
I am a reasonable being. I have not
been dreaming about tho hero in a mel
odrama. But surely, s omewherc, though
1 have never known him yet, thero is a
man who is both strong and fine; a
raau who can use the adornments of
llfo without falling their slave, or can
dispense with them and respect him
self no less; a man who is not ashr.med
to havo ideals and to strive toward
them. Is humanity so poor, then, that
I may not hope to find him? And do
you suppose I liko to tell you that you
are not he? You who come so near in
Outside tho swift November twilight
had begun to fall. The light was grow
ing faint in the llbrarj. Amory turned
the carved paper cutter over and over
in his strong, soft hands, bending it
this way and that
"If I were to tell her that I am that
man, what would sho say, I wonder?"
he thought "On my soul 1 think that I
am not far from being it. If my life is
not blameless in my own eyes, yet it
would hardly bo blameworthy even in
hers. Is it nothing to have kept
one's hands clean and one's soul
unstained? Does sho think a man
does that without ideals? Does she re
ally think I am under any serious mis
apprehensions as to uses of life? Docs
she "! how hopeless It would be to
try to make her understand."
lie interrupted His own thoughts ab
ruptly. The paper-knife snapped in
his hands, and ho dropped tho frag
ments with a swift gesture of his
opened hands, and drew one long
breath. Then ho rose, saying with a
new gravity that she had never heard
in his tones before:
"So bo it You must forgive me if I
seemed a trifle bitter. A man does not
lose cheerfully allium losing for I did
not ask you to marry me to make mo
comfortable, since you insist on iny
fondness for comfort, but because it
was my one chance for happiness.
Such happiness and such stimulus as
you are still young enough to get from
many things, I find only in your pres
ence. I havo only one thing more to
say. Please remember it. I am, un
fortunately for my comfort, too old to
change. I shall not love again. Ab
surd as it may seem and I know you
thinic me quite absurd 1 shall not
cease to love you as I lovo you now.
But as for .you, I know your world bet
ter than you know it You are twenty
two. That is rather young. I am not
young, but I can afford to give you ten
yeurs out of my life to look for that ideal
of yours. And I shall think the time
well wasted if at the end of it you can
tell me that no one has ever come near
er it than I. You know you have never
told me that you eould not love me,
never once, but only that I did not
como up to that mark. And so I do
not give up."
Her eyes had been fixed on the floor.
Now sho lifted up her head, but it had
grown suddenly so dark that he could
only see the motion, not the look she
sent toward him.
"Is that what you truly think, you
truly feel?" she asked at last with a
note in her voice which ho nevcr're
raem'bered to have hoard the'ro boforo.
It stirred his pulses and ho wondered
dully what it meant
Ho assented silently. The exhilara
tion with which he had entered tho
house, tho courage with which ho had
begun tho discussion, had all evapor
ated. Ho felt tired; ho was conscious
of the night, of the burden of his
years and of the deadly soberness of
"Then thon I almost thinl you
need not wait!"
"Eleanor, do you know what'you are
Sho turned her heud away and faced
the gathoring darkness.
"How can ho bo so stupid as to ask
mo that'" sho demanded of tho friend
ly November twilight "Is It going to
take ten years for him to understand?"
Kate Field's Washington.
Father of a Family "Say, you
young ones turn up your noses and
muko a great f ubs over theso nice cas
torlna capsules, but wheu I's a kid I
had to take tho raw article, a big spoon
ful of it." Ono of the Family "Poor
papa, how horrid! Hero, take mine,
do. I'm so glad you're living with us,
'cause wo can afford theso."
"Is he so very wealthy?" "Is ho?
That man, sir, is so rich that he never
has to pay a cent when ho travels. " Ho
goes all over this couutry -on free
GRANT AT ORCHARD KNOT.
Tho Despot ittn Situation or tho FoUcrul
Readers of Grant's memoirs, whoro
he describes tho dark period after tho
battle of Chlckatnaugn, will remember
tho peril under which the union forces
rested at Chattanooga for weeks pre
ceding tho battlo of Missionary Kldgc,
with hardly food enough to sustain tho
men, when not less than ton thousand
animals died of starvation, and when
those that did not dlo were so reduced
that thoy were unable to transport
ambulances taking tho sick and
woundod to tho hospitals. Tho general
spoke la moderation. It would have
been impossible to overdraw the pic
ture of this terrlblo reality. It was un
der such circumstances that tho battlo
of Missionary Rldgo was planned and
WAITING FOR THE SIQXAU
arrangements wero perfected for fight
Early in tho morning of the eventful
day, Grant and Thomas, with their re
spective staff officers, rodo to tho since
historic spot known as "Orchard Knot"
a slight elevation from which nearly
the entire field of operation could be
overlooked, directly fncing which was
Missionary Ridge, on which swarmed
Bragg's army in superior forco.
It need not be said that neither
Grant nor Thomas had had much rest
tho preceding night; indeed both were
worn and serious. Tho battle which,
as Grant says in his memoirs, was to
decide which way the great pendulum
of the war would swing on the mor
row, was about to begin. There was a
wait of hours for the signal to assault
the ridge. Meanwhile Sherman was
heavily engaged on the left, though by
no means decisively. Grant thought
thero was doubt cnotigh in that quar
ter to send Sherman considerable rein
forcements, whiuk Sherman sent back,
saying ho would "do his work alone."
During the hours of waiting beforo
tho six gun signal from "Orchard
Knot" for the assault to begin. Grant
and Thomas were a study, especially
Grant Ho was still lame from a re
cent fall at New Orleans. During the
whole day theso two men Grant and
Thomas showed that they realized
the vast importance of the situation
and their own responsibility as actors
in what was tho most critical moment
of the. war. They conversed together
in low tones, and with eye and ear
were watchful of every indication. It
was a sight to see those two generals
pausing occasionally, standing erect
and eager to detect any sound of
Hooker's guns, which would tell them
whether or not ho was whero he was
expected to be. But no sound came.
Tho firing from the batteries was at
times heavy on both sides, and tho
"Knot" did not escape the attention of
the enemy. As tho moment for tho
signal drew nigh, Grant gave evidence
that he felt more and more deeply the
importance of the occasion. Glancing
along tho faco of the ridge, to where
Sherman was hard at work, he would
say a few words to Thomas, and then
cast tho eye beyond. Ho beemed to re-
THE FIHINQ WAS IIBAVV.
fleet that if the assault should fail and
tho day go against him thero luy be
yond the Tcnnesseo river almost at his
feet, and over tho mountain rango be
yond, the only route of retroat and
practically an impossible ono.
Defeat or partial victory meant the
loss cf tho army in ono way or another,
with tho men already half famished and
the animals dying, as thoy had.beon for
weeks, of absolute starvation. It would
bo impossible to paint the consequences
of less than a complete victory over
Bragg the. dispersion if not the cap
ture of his whole army, which for days
and days had been waiting to do what
Bragg folt sure ho would do capture
Grant's urmy or virtually annihilate it
This he promised President Davis, and
he only waited for Grant to bo in a sit
uation to make the work easiest and
the result complete.
Such woro the circumstances under
which Grant Thomas nud tho whole
army waited for tho signal. Grant
moved about nervously, scomingly for
getting his lameness. During tho on
tiro day ho had chewed not smoked
tho inevitable cigar, perhaps muny,
Tho great muscles of tho nock and
jaws workod spasmodically and at
times woro mvollcn undor intense feel
ing. Grant's jaw, naturally a prom
inent feature, it is probable was novor
bo prominent boforo. His every facul
tjr was ulort and Intensified. Thomas
Btrokod his long beard as ho drew his
hugo fromo up to its full height, ns if
to catch tho sound of Hooker's guns,
as ho tnrnod, as did also Grant, toward
that qunrtor, but thoro was no sound.
Tho moment had como for tho sequol
and six guns woro Dred ii rapid succes
sion by tho battery stationed on tho
As if operated by fixed machinery,
tho troops which had boon lying in
wait on tho brokon plain, partly hid
den by tho growth of small trocs,
moved out, driving tho confederate
picket line boforo them. So impetu
ous was their ndyanco that tho order
before given to halt at tho confederate
piokot lino nnd rlflo pits was disregard
ed, and tho column swept on, and be
gan to ascend tho mountain, which
was so steep that in many places a di
rect uscont was impossible. Seeing
there was no halt, Thomas turned to
Grant saying: "General, the boys
don't atop. Thoy go onl" To which
Grant quickly replied: "Lot them go.
They can't stop now, " and on they went
Nothing escaped tho eyes of Grant
nnd Thomas, who stood noar.togethor,
speaking only occasionally, their man
ner being indicative of intense interest
A. lifetime, it might almost bo said,
concentrated into tho moments during
which theso scenes, almost unoqualed
in warfnre, wero being enacted. All
eyes on tho "Knot" wero fixed on tho
ascending columns. The cannonading
was deafening, and altogether, it is be
lieved, not during tho war was there
anything comparable to it
Tho height was gained, the crest was
taken. On tho plains beyond the enemy
was flceiug. All this could bo seen
from tho "Knot" Grant gavo tho
word: "Mount!" Tho order was quick
ly obeyed and half a hundred horse
men were following Grant nnd Thomas,
thu scone of a complete victory.
What of Grant's manner now? What
of Thomas'? Thatiboth generals wero
relioved as it seldom happens to human
beings to be, thoro can bo no doubt
Outwardly, at least, neither was the
least excited. Grant chewed a fresh
cigar and Thomas stroked his beard.
That night, long past midnight,
Grant might havo been seen alono sit
ting on a camp chair outside his quar
ters at Chattanooga quietly smoking
a cigar with no other feeling, so far us
outward appearances, than that of
quaint satisfaction over tho stupendous
events of tho day. Washington Post
BHOWN WAS A RELIEF.
Nine Smiths In Sticrosiilaii Wrro Too
Muny for tlio I.loutuiinnt.
An amusing instance of the frequent
recurrence of tho surnamo Smith
among the soldiers of the civil war is
given in Berdan's "United States
Sharp-shooters." A stranger lieuten
ant requiring a detail of ten men for
special duty, called on a certain com
pany nnd took their names. The men
wero in lino at attention when the
officer began at the end of tho column.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"And what is yours?" to the next
They wero put on the list as Smith 1,
"Well, what's yours?"
"Smith," replied number three.
Tho ollicer looked queer, and grum
bled something aoout the peculiarity
of the thing.
"What may I call your name?" to
"Your nnmo?" to the fifth.
Tho lieutenant's faco was getting
red. lie looked the men over, and said,
"What do you mean?"
But it was no joke. The detail stood
firm, liko so many statues, and tho ofll
"What on earth is your name?"
"Smith," came tho monosyllable an
swer from number six.
Tho officer fairly jumped. Then ho
stormed and fumed, and wanted to
know if every man in tho company
was named Smith. By this timo a
crowd had gathered, and the officer be
gan to cool down. The list must be
made, so ho hurried through.
"Your name?" to tho next man.
The officer was again becoming furi
ous, nnd tho crowd was laughing bois
"Well, is your name Smith?" the
lieutenant demanded of the tenth man.
"My name is Brown," replied the
soldier. Youth's Companion.
liutlar Got tlio Flag:.
A sewing circle of aristocratic, Yankee-hating
southern women had been
at work on a confederate flag which
was to bo sent to tho Prussian battal
ion fighting in Beauregard's army. Tho
general was kept fully informed of the
progress of tho making of tho flag.
When it was finished ho bent for ono of
the ladies and said: "I want a con
federate flag, and I hear you have a
fine one. Tho Sunday-school children
in my town are going to colobrato tho
Fourth of July, and as thoy havo never
seen a confederate flag I want to send
them a nice one," Tho lady hold up
her hands and protested.
"O, but, ray dear madam," said But
ler, "you blopt last night with that
flag under your pillow. Tako ray car
riage and bring it to mo." Sho brought
it meokly, and Butler said: "Don't
make another; this will be plenty."
Lived Lout In tlio War.
According to the statistics compiled
by tho provost marnjml general's of
fice, and generally uccoptod'as authori
tative, tho total number of violent
deaths in all of the union armies during
tho whole war was 03, 009. Tho total
number of deaths during tho war from
wounds in battle, from disease and
from unknown causes was 304,300. Wo
may aid that tho total of pensions in'
forco on account of alleged services in
the war is rapidly approaching the
round million, and that or.o month ago
ro- nnmlwr of claims of ail sorts pond
thu pension offlco vru 770,087.
i ,n i i - - Mfc J
"If wo woro in a colllston, with
theso car stoves, wo'd bo burned to
death." "O no, wo wouldn't Tho fire
In a car stovo never has any heat in it"
Fun Afoot Eva "Sho looks as
proud as if tho wholo world woro undor
hor feet" Ethol "Well, a good part
of it is. Sho is from Chicago." Phila
"l overheard Charley nnd Lil quar
rollng this morning." "By jove. Thon
tho story of their secret marrlago must
bo true." Dotrolt Tribune.
Pcnolopc "You wouldn't marry a
girl for her monoy, would you?" Jack
Dashing "No but I couldn't lot a girl
suffer meroly because sho was rich."
N. Y. Herald.
Gent "I must say, Madame, that
you carry ago romnrkably well; you
look almost as young ns your daugh
ter." Lady "Why, I am the daughter."
"Our friendship must never die,"
ho said. "It must bo kept green for
ever." "Then wo must bo careful that
it docs not ripen into love," sho roplled.
Dunn "Preston's wifo is what you
may call a real long-headed woman,
isn't sho?" "I don't know; what has
sho done?" Dunn "Sho sat in front of
ino at tho theater is all." Inter Occnn.
An exchange says a man's full
mental power is not reached boforo tho
ago of twenty-five. Either this is
wrong or tho collego freshman has been
misinformed as to himself. Boston
Gent "I should liko to havo my
photo taken, but I waut it to bo nice
looking." Photographor "Never fear,
sir; it shall bo so hands omo that you
won't know it yourself!" Der Schalk.
Wife "0, George, tho water pipo is
leaking and the water is spoiling tho
new hall carpet Go and got a xilumber,
quick." Husband "That's all right
my dear; let it go; it's cheaper to got a
now carpet" Harvard Lampoon.
Kept Beautifully. Clytio (pointing
to her corsage) "I've worn theso roses
nil evening see how they keop."
Cholly (whom Clytio has frozen)
"Yaas tho llowahs keep but no
woudah they alio on ice." The Club.
The Rev. Dr. Pryor to the Rev. Mr.
Reticent "And how much does your
congregation pay you a year, my dear
brother?" Tho Kev. Mr. Reticent to
tho Rev. Mr. Pryor "About half my
salary, my dear brother." Elmira Ga
zette. Had to Sot His Watch Ahead.
Traveler (stepping off the train from
Pennsylvania) "Let's see, I'll set my
watch to western time, first thing. Con
ductor, what's the difference in time be
tween this place and Philadelphia?"
Conductor "About twenty-five years."
"I tell you," said tho plumber's
bookkeeper to his wife, "there is no
uso in saying that luck doesn't exist
I've just had a great piece of fortune.
I've had my pay raised." "How?" "By
a slip of tho lien. I was making out a
bill for $10 and accidentally mado it
$100. I never saw tho boss so tickled
before." Washington Star.
PNEUMATIC TUBES ABROAD.
TUolr Kxtinslo Uho in r.omlon, Turin,
Mcnnii mill llrrtln.
Pneumatic tubes for local transmis
sion of telegrams are now used in nil
tho principal cities of Great Britain.
At present about fifty miles of such
tubes arc in operation, requiring an
aggregate of 400 horso power, and
transmitting a daily average of over
105,000 messages (or 30,000,000 nnnu
ally), more than half of these in Lon
don. The lengths of tubes vary greatly;
the average length is 030 yards; tho
greatest singlo length in London is
3,992 j-ards. Tho tubes nro of lead laid
in cast iron pipes for protection, and
nro usually of 2J inches inner diam
eter; somo tubes of yt and somo of 3
inches inner diameter aro used. As a
general rule, with the same nir pres
sure and diameter of tube, tho speed
varies inversely as the length of tho
tube. In tubes not over a milu long
the usual average speed is 25 to 30 miles
nn hour. Tho carriers aro of gutta
perjha covered with felt with a buffer
at tho front end, nnd an clastic band at
tho back or open end to hold In tho
messages. An ordinary carrier weigh
ing 2 ounces holds a dozen messages.
Tho marked success of tho British
pneumatic service led to tho adoption
of similar systems in Paris, Vienna and
Berlin. Tho pneumatic system of Paris
was put into operation in 1800, and has
grown steadily, so that to-day in Paris
tubes are used almost exclusively for
transmission of local telegrams and
letters demanding quick delivery. A
small stamped envelope, tho petit bleu,
costing 50 centimes, or 10 cents, is used
for the message, which, dropped into a
special post-box, is dolivcrcd anywhere
in Paris within an hour, ofton in
In Vienna tho "tube-post" was estab
lished in March, 1875. Tho nine dis
tricts of tlio city aro connected with a
central station. Tho "tubo-mall" is
dropped into special post boxes, col
lected overydmlf hour, forwarded to tho
central station and distributed. Pneu
matic envelopes cost 15 kreuzers (about
0 cents), ordinary lottcrs 3 krouzers.
"Tuba letters" are delivered, within ono
hour af formatting. ThcVlonna systotn
consists of a main circuit of 5.34 miles,
with three branch Hues; total length,
In Berlin tho Prussian postal author!.
tics began in 1803 discussion of measures
of rolief for tho overcrowded local tele
graph system, and a pneumatic lino was
opened in 1805 between tho Central
telegraph btatlon nnd tho Exchange
building. Tho beginning of the present
expensive "tubo post" of Berlin dates
from 1870, since which timo it has been
enlarged, until there aro now over 28
miles of tubo lino in tho city, with 38
stations. "Tubo letters" aro to-day de
livered In Berlin moro quickly than
telegrams at a cost equivalent to 7J
cents and "tubo post-cards" ati) cents.
Tho tubes in Borlin aro of wrought iron
und have an inner dlamotor of 2.55
inches. The system is operated by oight
team engines, aggregating only 123
horse powor. Engineering, Magazine.