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Springfield globe-republic. (Springfield, Ohio) 1884-1887, January 11, 1885, Image 6

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SHE GLOBE REPD3BUO. StJKDAY MOItNTNG, JAKUABY 11 1885
SS
IVOMAX AND HOME.
' A POETESS "FLOUNDERED INTO
THE GREAT WORLD."
Dtnutlou of Woman Work Whloh
I Can lie Ilonr, anil Well Dune, By
the Talr ex True Fascina
tion Note.
IMrlen Barllett ia rioneer Press.
here was one subject touched upon by
. Helen Huut Jackson which caused Lor
i to brighten and her cheeks to glow in n
'that show ol how enthusiastic she can
ome over w hat she considers true ex-el-
The subject u Kdith Thomas,
iise contributions to The Atlantic and
Oeutury have attracted such wide at-
-lon. its evincing talent of an unusually
1 ordr "Lditli Thomas" future is some-
lig assured," remarked Mrs. Jackson: "I
Isidcr her work the finest of the
in Amend." Then she told me
rircunistauces of her ilebut Into
literary world. "When I was
New York, at the Brevoort house, some
years ago," she began, "I was spoken
by a friend alout a poetical young woman
e name of Edith Thomas, and asked to
Ie an interest in her. Now 1 had been
hered to death by these aspiring daugh-
of rhyme, and 1 didn t want to see her.
1 slid sw. Imagine then, my disgust
en, the next mornmg, as I was feeling
Jcularly out of sorts, the day being the
vilification of dampness and gloom, the
liter brought me up Miss Thomas' card.''
Mrs. Jackson knitted her Lrows to
ner, braced herself up and remarked:
k, I will tell it just as it happened it isa
I punishment for me. H ell, 1 turned to
waiter, told him to say I was engaged,
I the man had actually reached the door.
en a better impulse seized me. The re-
It was that Miss Thomas came up a tall,
k, forlorn-looking yonug woman, with a
kbbled water-proof clmging moistly about
r, and an unwieldy scrap-book under her
My heart sank within me. She was
- diflident but finally said that she was
lin Geneva, Ohio, and had w ritten (or
ne time to The Geneva Herald and The
tveland Plaindealer, but now sought a
iler held. Oh, how I writhe," contuiued
. Jackson, clasping and unclasping her
nds, and fro wning prodigiously, "when I
: of how 1 talked to that girl: how 1
L her it was better to bo at the head of
i intellectual life of her little village than
flounder out into the great world; and
onized and discouraged her to tbo full
nt of my powers."
he upshot of it all was that Miss Thomas
nt away, leaving the scrap-book behind
r, to stand for hours as a horror which
. Jackson must face. She eyed the book.
i dreaded it, she shrank from it as from a
Baous dream, until at last her husband ad-
t her to send it back unread. No, she
i too conscientious for that; so, finally, she
kagely opened it, and the first thing her
! fell upon was a sonnet entitled "Frost,
I the first lines of this sonuet were those:
pw sharp a tooth hath mined the season's
Heart I
pw cold a touch hath turnod the woods to
Ere!
jreat heavens!"1 she cried. Mr. Jackson
nped up and inquired what was the mat
For reply his wife slowly repeated the
los. "Da you hear that P she asked. "They
Shakespearean." Then she read on.
ling from one gem to another, and before
ping that night had read every lino in
i book, from cover to cover The next
brning she telegraphed for Miss Thomas.
apologized heartily for her conduct of
j dav before. The only revenge she took,"
marked Mrs. Jackson, with a smile, "was
saving quietly, 'I thought you did not
kite understand me.'" Then, in answer to
kestions she told that she lived in Geneva,
o, with a mother and sister, and had
. ed wholly in her home anil with nature.
Iading only the old Greek and Latin classics
k! Shakespeare, which she knew by heart.
Mrs. Jackson next sent for Mr. Gilder, the
or of The Century, and read to him the
et "Frost. Mr. Gilder was amazed.
Led how old the young woman was, and
kclaimed: "Why, at 2d I could not write
well as that." "Indeed," replied Mrs.
son, with vivacity, you and I would
Ive our eyes if we could ever write so well
s that, (subsequently a letter from Mrs.
kckson to The Atlantic, enclosing a nam-
rof sonnets, secured Miss Thomas en-
ace into those hallowed yellow leaves,
. Aldrich proving not less resonsive than
. Glider to the beauty of her verse. "It
absolutely flawless," sail Mrs. Jackson,
b the close of her narrative. "1 have never
a lint, from her pen, either of poetry or
e, that was not exquisite in thought, and
xfect in form and finish."
Woman's Devotion.
PL S. Keller, in Cambridge Tribune.
I My on, I am pained to learn that you
becoming somewhat cynical 111 your
ews concerning the natural tendencies and
uties of womankind m general. Itemem-
your mother was a woman. The only
ning I can recollect at all derogatory to her
I memory is that she was too cov with
and household boot-jack. The natural
onseqeence is, you are rapidly running to
I, and fast becoming a lit subject tor
demnation by all members of your
other's sex. Your mother was a good
toman, but she just escaed being a perfect
pother when be held her band aloof from
be bump of your self -esteem.
It is a wonder to me that the Lord don't
ermit the spirit of departed mothers to
ome back to this realm just to shake the
lonsense out of their offspring, or paddle
em with the proverbial golden supper.
I You sseeringly remark, in a casual man-
ler akin to your class, that woman's devo
tion is a sham. 1 ou also add that the great
est devotion of woman ii laid upon the
n of fashion. Now, n r young limb of
he sidewalk posture, you' mother was a
dy of fashion. I cannot toy that she wore
lut -our father's patience leasing for a seal
kin sacque and a $40 bonnet. I have no
Jtection of this; still sho may have done
Once, I well remember, you got into a
et fracas and had your brecian nose ae-
uohs bed of its pristine line of beauty. You
1 to your mother; she applied a $3) lace
Ikerchief to staunch vour life blood.
ben a 10-cent towel would have sufficed.
didn't stop to question the cause of the
fracas. No; but she ruined that elegant bit
pf lace in the utter abandonment of int
ernal instinct and motherly devotion. Tne
enuine cause of your nasal organ s disaster
was you trial to walk over a poor little
et arab, who proceeded to no jou up
Iter the style sot down in the volume known
s "The Manly Art of Solf Defend."
That, my son, is a sample of woman's de-
ition; a specimen of effect without going
ehind the returns to get at the cause.
While you are burning the midnight gas
pusily engaged with the hemispherical ivor
ies on a green-baize table, there's a light in
i sensible girls parlor not burning for thee.
ne of these days you will open your eyes to
be fact that the lusty-limbed mechanic got
be dead-wood on you, also got the girl you
thought you had, sure pop. After he's gone
married her, you U lug around a bi
ump of misanthropy and swear that
roman's devotion is all a myth.
Boy, j ou ve got to come down from your
erch. There are too many of the prime
ucies, homo sum, floating around this part
pf the globe, for women to yearn after such
game as you are. 1 ou must drop this vivid
als fatuus of your foolish brain and buckle
Bown to b jl elsa you'll get left when the
lake of domestic bliss is passed.
A woman heart just gushes fountains of
lire devotion. If you don t receive some of
be pellucid drops it' because you are prov.
; by your daily comings and goings that
you are only worthy of an existence which is
nriruned by the cold walls and chilly sheetr
pf a poor old bachelor's prescription.
True Fascination.
London Echo.)
I heart of man is en led. "Sweet sixteen" is
iiMpia, -lancinating eighteen" tame. .At
: i . .
wjo juu5 ia,iy OI tne present uay
Inay be said to be interesting, at 30
tue b cLarmlng, and at Sj fascinat-
Inn I).. t 1 . . .1 ..
-. i it is not uii ne woman gets well
.X reacnos the angelic
eriod where teniner no lnnb. ui.i.. !.
Inastery, and mature thought smooths out
"- -6S'" uuuiues 01 uer mental life. It
.-jjuucisuuius me an 01 sell-preservation
.w .... cm woagu we ueiter
sher physical 1 harms, and bo
pito of th vears. Ninon 1m
VecarJed 43. a belle and a
beauty t 00, and can and dLcretion ar
only i ecessary to carry die beauty of youth
far into mature life.
Another custom ia coming into vogue
which must lend ho3 o many h spinster
and w idow of uncertain age and that is the
fashion of women marrying men younger
than themseh us. Peru ips this can hardly
bo called a novel innovation, however, for it
has been practiced in the older countries for
mam vears, and in Ireland has long tm
the custom. Dr. Johnson married a womau
old enough to lie his mother; Disraeli was
many 3 ears hi wife's junior, and Aaron
j Burr married a widow several -.ears
older than himself. The famous
Madamo de Stael was 44 when
she picked up a joung otllcer of 30 or
so, and Kachel married Veruhagen Von
Enso w hen she was o or 40 and ho in the
j twenties. All of those were happy mar-
riages, and Miss Thackeray, Mrs. Cralk, and
' Margaret Fuller seemed to tieheve in such
' unions for they each chose comjiarativa
youngsters for matrimonial mates. Modern
and ancient union, of this kind have pro-ed
lucky unions, and as some of the latter have
given a sort of tone and fashion to the
custom, ne may look for a tide 111 that di
rection. If it luscomes the fashion forwomen
to choose husbands younger than themselves,
old-fashioned folk may preach against it in
vain.
A llravo Sn-trh Woman.
London Telegraph.
During the height of the recent gale off
the northeast coast of Scotland Mrs. Whyte,
the wife of a farm servant, who lives with
her husband in a small cottage on Aberdour
beach, observed the steamer William Hone,
of Dundee, wrecked in the bay almost oppo-
, site her own door. ithout a moments
I hesitation and in the midst of a blinding
' shower of bail and sleet this brave woman
proceeded as far as she safely could into the
sea and caught the end of a rope which one
of the crew threw to her. The rope she
fastened around her waist, and with her feet
planted firmly on the beach and with the
spray dashing around her she stool until
those on board the steamer were able to
make the necessary arrangements for getting
ashore, which they did safely.
Mrs. Whyte's goodness did not end there.
She took the rescued men to her humble
cot, and, so far as her poor means afforded,
supplied that comfort which the destitute
and exhausted crew stood much in neel of.
Nor is this the first occasion upon which
this poor woman has shown herself a good
Samaritan. About two years ago the Swed
ish bark Almatar was wrecked on almost
the same spot as the William Hope. Mrs.
Wbyto showed the utmost sympathy and
kindness for the stranded foreigners; she
took them to her house, grudged neither
time, convenience nor material aid, such as
was In her power, to alleviate their want.
These services have never been publicly rec
ognized. The Latest In Jewelry.
Paris Letter.
Dame Fashion Just now says, "No jewelry
should bo worn in the street." That isa
sensible edict as far as diamonds and other
precious stones are concerned. But pretty
pins, bracelets, and even earrings of simple
design in gold, oxidized silver and Scotch
pebbles, are pretty and appropriate for street
wear, even w ith the popular tailor-made suits.
Earrings just now are under sentence of ban
ishment. They are cited as relics of barbar
ism, eta "The idea of piercing human flesh
for purposes of adornment!" Now, the oper
ation of having one's ears bored U perfectly
painless and harmless, and earrings are be
coming to a groat many faces; they also
soften harsh outlines m cheek and neck, and
oven the beauty of a perfect ear is perhaps
enhanced by a dainty little ear-drop.
Good taste in the selection of ornaments is
of course as desirable and necessary as good
taste in dress and other things, though not
universal, and we are sometimes disgusted
with an over-abundance of cheap jewelry on
one person that doss not prevent our admir
ation of the beautiful broach of Florentine
mosaic worn by another. Young ladies can
not afford to discard that prettiest of all or
naments, a locket ; for w hen suspended on a
pretty ribbon or Tel vet there is nothing more
appropriate for a youthful neck, and a
lockot always has a suggestion of sentiment
si to its contents.
Sorthern Women.
AUsata Constitution.)
In every pro; cr field of enterprise southern
iromen are iraking fine headway. Their
achievement in literature, journalism and
educational specialties are too well known to
require mention. A North Carolina lady in
New York has 10J type-writer operatives
under ber. She supplies business bouses
with type writing clerks and enjoys a hand
some income. A South Carolina girl at the
Cooper institute took the first money prize
for engraving, another took the first prize
for drawing from life. Another southern
girl received the first certificate in drawing
last session. A South Carolina lady has
made over fifty inventions, many of which
she has patented. They range from fire
escapes to cooking stoves. Those few in
stances show that southern women are keep
ing pace with the progress of the age. They
do not pioposo to remain idle when a million
problems appeal to them for solution.
The Crlnolette."
Philadelphia rress.
Women who are endeavoring to acquire
the art of sitting side wise on the edge of a
chair without conspicuous awkwardness, not
to say with grace, will be glad to hear of a
decided novelty in the spiral spring skirt
cnnolette. The steels are fixed lengthwise,
and curl round and round till they taper oil
close to the waist. This arrangement is de
scribed as productive of pleasing results, for
in sitting the colls are at once flattened
down and as speedily regain their shape.
One can settle one's self on a chair or stool,
or loll back in a low-shaped f auteuiL and the
skirt is not pushed out of gear at the side not
discovers the ankles in front It b to be hoped
that importers will at once order a supply,
for a bustle which will neither slip to oat
side, nor refuse to be sat upon without dam
aging results, is an article which m the pres
ent inflated stage of fashion, ought to make
the fortune of its investor.
What a Louisiana Woman Does.
New Orleans Times-Democrat.
One of the most energetic and hard
working beings in the state is a little mother
editor who lives over in Gretna, and who
edits and owns The Gretna '?r. Mrs.
Ava Uildenbrand writes her o dltonals,
fixes up most of her own '-opi'i does
composition work on her pri solicits subscriber-,
is her own mailing cl , keepi her
house tidy and is a devoted 1. .Jer to three
lovely little children. Her example should
serve as an everlasting inspiration to the
women who go through the world howling
for a mission, but which is often with them
only another way of spelling the, to them,
synonymous wcrds, man and husband.
Women's Wages.
Chicago Herald.
The superintendent of the New York
Women's Probcthe union gie an m-tere-tenf
account of the wages of women
blonging to the union. Actresses of the
ballet and utility get from 15 to ft)
and from $13 to 30 a week. Milliners
earn from KJ to tlS, dressmakers
from fC to $3.' Homekeeiwrs get from 30
to $100 per month. This includes board.
Trained nursei earn JJ0 to KW a month.
Proof-readers make from $15 to $20, and
copyists get from $4 to $13 a week. Sales
women earn $J to $12 a week. Teachers of
languages earn from -J5 cents to $1 an hour.
Telegraph ojienitor get $-V13 a year.
Cheap Ornamental lirackot.
Chicaico Times.
The oblong chip baskets- that can be bought
for 3d cent each oach at fruit stores can be
made into pretty scrap or work baskets by
staining them with red or bluo and Uning
them with silk or satin, tying a ribbon bow
on oach handle. Small baskets of tbo same
land, without handles, when gilded inside
and out, are very pretty to stand on a bureau
for catchalls.
ljr Mipplanted-
"ashitgum Lttter
Maltese cate are tosupplautpugdogsasthe
correct femine pet this winter. At a lead
ing modiste's parlors ths other day several
. fashionable young ladies came in snopping,
' and each carried a large Maltose cat under
1 her ami and allowed pus to roam within
the limits of the gilt chain fastened to
its collar while the fair owner tried on her
new bonnet.
The Starch or the Sealskin.
Boston Globe.
The passion for sealskin sacques, which
was exclusive two or three years ago, has
beon working dowp among the people untit
tney are qucnrqsa oy ta nn auu n tvorr
by carters' wives and the green grocerj'
daughters. There seem to be tome objectj
which carry the female mind away from Its
moorings, and among them is the sealikin
sacque.
"Stormy Sky" Color.
Exchange,
One of the new colors is "stormy sky," ard
it is a gray with a jellow glare over It, and
appears in a changeable silk, such as w ill be
s3ii in fall st I now being made ready. A
strange hue Mtn in a velvet fabric Is only to
be described as looking like a bruise, and is
called "black eye." It is black and bluo and
j ellow in a great spreading spot on an ecru
surface
fmnrr i'lreiiluce.
Exchange.
Tbo latest fancy in art fireplaces is to fill
the nickel-plated or brass basket grate with
irregular lumps of colored glass, and light
the same with gas-jets from below, w hich
gi e the grate the appearance of being filled
with live coals. Below the gas-JeU is a plate
of rod glass, which throws a ruddy glow on
the til, and hearth.
Tor the Toilet.
Among modern toilet inventions are strips
of fine felt, highly perfumed, which are in
tended to be worn lnsido the dross bodice.
Its presence is supponed to obviate some of
the unpleasant effects which dancing some
times bring about The odor is that of
fraugipanl u perfume which many people
detest
llxides and Bridesmaids.
Brides go to the altar with the left hand
uncovered. The glove is carried in the right
hand with the bouqet of loose, loug-stemmed
white roses and foliage. Bridesmaids oarr)
floral fans or baskets, swung from the loft
arm by broad satin ribbons.
Women as Type-Setters.
The Woman's Journal says that women
type-tters do not anywhere get as much
pay for the same worlc as men do, when the
work is done by the piece. It a man gets X
cents per 1,000 ems, the woman gets 23 cenU.
Lucy Stone regretfully admits that, whlU
women do most of the amateur playing on
pianos, they compose scarcely any of the
music.
Couldnt Surrender to a Stretcher-Hearer.
Southern Bivouac.
On the occasion of the Federal advance t
Stone Iliver, or Murfreesboro, the Confed
erates drew back to a line of battle. On the
retreat a young Confederate soldier fell and a
heavy rod struck him across the thighs, but
he managed to crawl up to two stacks ol
straw and drag himself between them for
concealment While here he was found by
Jack Nonis, a stalwart six-footer of the
Fifth Kentucky (Federal) infantry, who
had been detailed as a stretcher
bearer. Norris repeatedly ordered the
young rebel to surrender, and was
as often answered by the snapping
of a gun, which would not go off. Col.
Treanor, hearing the cursing of Norris, hur
ried to the scene, and the young soldier at
once said he would surrender b a soldier,
but not to an Infernal stretcher-Nearer. The
prisoner was a handsome boy of 10, and a
nephow of the Confederate Gen. Wood. The
large-hearted Yankee colonel took the boy
under his protection, conceived a great Ilk
ing for him, 6hared his sweet potato supper
with him, spooned under tbo amo blanket
and bade him "good-bye" at last with real
regret
This incident illustrates soldierly pride,
and brings to recollection the oiany ameni
ties between soldiers on differer t sides, which
had a tendency to soften asperities of war
into questions of patriotic duty.
How to rronounce Depot.
Lancaster Examiner.
There are about as many ways of pro
nouncing depot as there are eccentric wayi
of pronouncing "crematory," "finance," etc
As a road out of the difficulty we give Ux
folic wing suggestion:
It U but a step-oh
Down to the Jep oh.
The way is quite steep-oh
That leads to the deep-oh.
I slipped on a grape-oh
Just by the day-poh.
In a store near the dee pot
I bought this small tea-pot
Perhaps to end the agitation.
We'd better henceforth call it station.
WHAT A DISILLUSIONED BRITISHER
SAW IN THIS COUNTRY.
A Sweeping Denunciation of Our Itallway
Management People Who lVave the
Car Door Open Disappointed In
Uruadnay Filth Avenue.
Pall Mall Oazette.
"A great country, nodoubt," said Mr. Cap
per, the well-known engineer, who has re
cently returned from the other side of the
Atlantic, where he-had been attending the
meetmgs of tho British association at Mon
treal. "A great country, no doubt, big
?nough for all creation; but, except in size
and ferry-boats, not up to much. That, in
brief, is the impression I have brought home
concerning the United States of America.
Let me say that I have only seen a corner of
the country, and do not wish to speak of the
whole afta; merely inspecting part of it So
far as the itstosof the Atlantic seaboard are
concerned, from Maine to Baltimore, I must
say that I wes bitterly disappointed.
"To begin with, take the railways. In this
country we have two or three different
gauges. How many hare they in America!
Fifteen! And why? It U a free country,
and every company that runs its own little
line through its own little territory is freo to
break its gauge in order to keep the district
to itself. The variety of gauges in the
States, which necessitate constant changes of
carnages and all the inconveniences of which
we have some slignt experience on the Great
Western, are incurred solely and entirely
for carrying out a dog-in-the-manger policy.
Take the roadway. There is not a lino m
America that has rails weighing more thou
sixty pounds to the yard. On our Great
Western the rails weigh ninety -eight pounds.
The track is badly metaled, or not metaled
at all, with the result that railway tra eling
is exceedingly disagreeable. The line
being uneven, you bump and jump as if you
were going along a corduroy road. The
rate on none of the railways exceeds thirty
miles an hour, and in almo.t every respect
the railway service is inferior to our own.
"That, no doubt will startle many who
have heard a great deal about the luxury of
the American cars. It may be a luxury to
some people to be pigged in w ith a hetero
geneous mass of babies, navvies, expectora
tors, etc, through the midst of which there
dawdles a lerpetual stream of loiterers who
while away the time by wandering about the
tram, always leaving the door open as they
pass, and indulging in whatever amusement
shouting, singing, swearing, and larking
that seems good m their own eyes. But that
mode of traveling has no charms for me.
On one occasion my wife and I had a comer
seat near the door, and to keep out the draft
and the soot and smoke I was perpetually
jumping up to close the door a It was left
open by each fresh comer. How many
times do you think I had to close the door iu
a quarter of an hourl Fourty-four timesl In
the whole hour between 8 and 9 I timed my
self, and found that I had to close the door
12S times. Of course no one who could af
ford it thinks of traveling otherwise than in
the American first class, or, as they call it
out of deferenoe to democratic principle!,
Pullman cars. But that is not always avail
able, and even than iU advantages have
been much exaggerated.
"When you sleep in a palace-car yon are
liable to bo Jerked up on end by tho sudden
slowing up of the train, the vacuum break
being constantly in use, and the cars are
frequently brought up almost as rapidly as if
there bad been a collision. After a sleepless
night, in which you have been alternately
bumped and jerked on both ends and both
sides, you get up in the morning to discover
that j ou have afforded pasturage ground for
a variety of insects which are not often
mosquitos. If you complain to the conductor
you are informed that your grievance, what
ever it may bo, is n me of his business, and if
you persist in your representations you are
warned that if you don't mind what you are
about your traps will be deposited at the
next station, and you can wait until the next
train. It is a land of liberty they say, but
the boss, whether in the cars or elsowhero,
has a great deal tighter hand than anything
we know of here. At the railway station ,
too, they have adopted the abominable con
tinental habit of penning travelers up in
waiting-room until the tram is almost ready
to start, when the doors are thrown ojien
and a general stampede takes place for the
cars.
"After railways, I naturally turn for eyf.
awce 01 muiei iai civuuanon una uwenan
leal ingenuity 10 the arraligemeuU for tin
loading ves-el and the working of jwrts, and
the general management of tralUe in porU
and harbors. Would 'ou behote it, that
neither in Boston, New York, Philadelphia,
nor Baltimore did 1 clap eyes iqioii n single
hydraulic inachuiel Lverj thing is done by
steam, nothing by hj draulics. I could not
believe it, and went ever where hunting to
find some Fjiecuiieu of hydraulic machinery.
They don't seem to have heatdofsucha
thing. In England we use water pressure
w here great force, spued, and steadiness of
motion are required. Of course you L tvo
heard the usual talk about tho costly drain
age of the wilderness, capable of driv
ing all the mills' in the union. Perhap
it is, but all I know is that w ben our party
visitod Niagara I w as di-usted like anj one
else w ith the attempt made by the Americans
to utilize the enormous water-jniwerthat has
been running to waste there since the days
of Adam. They hat e duligured the falls by
perclung a number of ugly factories, paper
mills, and the like, on the very edge of the
great cataract There, if anywhere, wo
must surely expect this boundless water
lower to lw thoroughly utilized. Hu what
do I see, to my utter amazement! Eery one
of those factories had a tall chimney-stack
blackened with smoke, as when issuing pre
cisoly as it issues from a Lancashire mill
stack. Going a little further. I found trucks
discharging coals to feed tho boiler fires, and
thus I found that actually on the very brink
of Niagaria our acute cousins wure dm ing
their machinery by steam.
"I think I was more disappointed in
Broadway, New York, than in anything else
I aw iu America. Everyone knows how
New Yorkers have cracked up Broadway
There never was such a street and there
never will be, even in New Jerusalem.
Having heard so much about it I naturally
exjiectod to find a spacious and handsome
thoroughfare which would throw Itegent
street far into the shade. It i-, therefore,
not surprising that when I reached Broad
way I did not recognize it; needed, I hod
to be repeatedly assured that this was
really Broadway before I could realize what
a fraud had been practiced upon the con
fiding British public Why, Broadway is
not as wide as the Strand and not half as
handsome, and it is jammed almost from
end to end of its busier portions by an un
ending lino of tram-cars following each other
almost as closely as carnages on a railway
tram.
"Crossing the streets at right angles are
other tram lines, along which the cars strug
gle as best they can, with the result that
blocks are of constant occurrence, and in
fact a maximum of inconvenience for the
general public and a minimum of ndvant
Hgei, either in appearance or locomotion, is
better secured in Broadway than 111 any
other thoroughfare that I know. Then there
is Fifth avenue, a street that we have boon
taught to believe was bristling with ialaces
erected at lavish expense by the most maguill
cent millionaires of this or any other age.
When you are set down at Fifth aenue you
rub your eyes and ask yourself where are
those palaces? You need to go seeking foi
them with a candle as Diogenes used to seek
for an honest man."
MALTESE AND ANGORA.
About rets Which Many ladies Prefer to
Small Dogs.
New York Sun.
"Is it posrlblo," asked a reporter, "that
Maltese and rthor fancy cats are taking the
place of dogs as ladies' petsl It is said that
in Washington ladies go out shopping taking
with them Maltese cats fastened w ith gilt
chains to their girdles."
"Well, I don't know whether cats will ever
supplant dogs In the affections of the ladies,"
laughingly replied Surgeon B. O. Dovey, as
he sat in his olllce. in front of a door marked
"Private," where both dogs and eats were
for sale and under medical and surgi
cal treatment; "but there is no doubt
that the Maltose ami Angora cats, have be
come great favorites. Still, thero is no
greater demand for the former than there
was three years ago. The Angora cat has
probably increased in popular favor, and
now on any fine day one may see ladies driv
ing in Central park with the beautiful crea
tures in their laps. The Maltese are often
taken for a drive, and both they and thi
Angoras seem to enjoy the fresh air fully
as much as their mistresses do. No, cats are
not often taken out walking. A cat is net
fond of long walks where there aro no fences
to climb, and dogs may bo encountered, but
the lazy luxury of a carriage seem to suit
them. The Maltese and Angora cats are
very docile and affectionate. Tho Maltese,
probably, can lie more easily anl thoroughly
domesticated than any other of the feline
tribe. They are less expensive than tho
oecrless Angora, but still they como pretty
high. I sill a full-grown male for about $IJ
and male kittens f,r from $3 to $10 each.
The females are cheaper, being n orth about
$2 each. A well-grown Maltese cat should
weigh about twenty pounds. They aro long
lived, and, if properly treated, should attain
a score of jenrs. A perfect Maltese cat
should be altogether slate-colored, without a
particle of white Most of them have six
toes, and very large feet out they nwy be
pure bred and have small feet and only five
toes. They came originally from tho island
of Malta, but to-day America, or even New
York state, produces mora Maltese cats than
Malta does.
"The Maltese cats, as a rule, are hardy,
but they are usually kept so closely confined
to the house, and often fed so injudiciously,
that they are liable to get indigestion, torpid
liver and fits. When the fits appear death is
likely to be close behind They are
brought to me often when there is no time to
treat them. Sometimes I am called upon to
attend a cat afllicted with what the owner
thinks is an abscess, or a tumor, but which
frequently proves to bo a cancer. Nothing
then can help them except an operation, but
if the disease ha not made very great pro
gress I con generally operate successfully.
With dogs cancer is much more common,
and I often have to removo it Sometimes I
use ether, sometime not, as tlic circum
stances require; but I can savo life far more
frequently than surgeons who treat human
patients.
"A litter of Maltese kittens numbers from
three to seven. They grow quickly, and
are very playful and Interesting. The An
gora cat is as different as possible from the
Maltese. My wife takes exclusive charge ot
our stock, and is as devoted to them as
though they wore children. The Angora
came, and comes yet from Persia, but we
rase a good many in this country. They
ore of various colors pure white, black,
white and black, yellow ami white, gray and
white, steel and white, and mottled but all
are alike beautiful. Their hair is very
abundant 'our, fine, and soft as silk. Then
tails are as bushy as thoso of foxes. Their
ears aro small and far apart, and their oyo
are large, sagacious, and of a light olnc
color. They In e from twenty-five to thirty
joars. In price they average, for malo kit
tens $40, and for full-grown males $12 j; for
female kittens f", ami for full-grown fe
males $100. The "Angora cat Is, I think, the
handsomest small animal that lues."
Heart-Heading.
Washington Hatchet
"Hello, old fellow," said n thrce-dollar-a
week funny man in a itont-iiiside nianu
factory to a bald-headed Washington monu
ment joke.
"Hellor came the heart-rending reply.
"You look blue O, yes, you were called
in lost week. That's bad; you've been a
good friend of mine, anl I hate to lose you."
"That's not the trouble; I'e been expct
Ing that and am prearod an 1 anxioas to
leave the road, but I'm afraid that some
heartless villain will kidnap mo and send iiij
out as a Bartholdi statue joke."
"Ah, hal"
That was all the funny man ald, but the
way he hustled that poor old joko nrounl
was a terror. In three minutes he wai
scarcely recognizable, and ho was thee
shovod out upon an alUictod public.
Apparent Transfer of Motion.
Chicago Times
The common sensation exjierienced by trav
travelers of transferring the motion of adja
cent railway car to the car in whiih thej
are seated at rest is explained by an olj
principle that the mind infers from habit
that when two bodies are relatively in mo
tion the motion belongs to the larger body
The car on the adjacent track occupies a
larger field of vision than the car in which
the traveler is seated, and he imagines tho
la tier to te in motiou becauso it i appar
ently the smaller body.
The Verger's lion 3IoU
Excliange.
A story is toll of Bishop Bloomfield revis
iting the University chapel at Cambridge
after long absence. Finding the same
verger there whom he remembered in Lis
college days, he said to him: "You have
much to be grateful for." "I have, indeed,
my lord," replied the old man, "for I hive
heard every sermon that has been preache I
In the chapel for fifty years, and, bless the
Lord, lam a Christian still."
I
PRANKS AT VASSAR.
DASH AND VIGOR OF COLLEGE GIRLS
AT MISCHIEF.
Coasting 011 Saturdays rlaylng Truant
l'auiout Theatrical X'erfurniancca
Mating Molasses Candr la the
ltasetueut The lllg Dog.
Chicago News
A young married lady looked out of a window-
of n west side residence at tho snow the
other day and began to laugh. Thou she
said, by way of explanation:
"I wonder if ths girls at Vassar college are
having as much fun with their little Bleds
this winter as they hod when 1 went to school
there. Vasar girh wore a wild set in my
day, and got into as much mischief as col
lego boys ex er did."
"Will you relate 9 mo of your adventuresr
was asked of her.
"In order to fully ipprociato the pranks of
Vassar girls," said the lady, "you must re
member that one ot the greatest burdens on
tho shoulders of the faculty of the college is
to keep tho scholars from elopicg with de
signing young men and gutting married
without their parents' permission. When
ever a marriageable male strays inside the
high cedar hedge which divides tho Vassar
grounds from tho rest of the world, ho is
regarded with suspicion by twenty pairs of
eyes until ho has satisfactorily accounted for
his presence thoro. The girls, as a natural
consequence, form no acquaintances worth
mentioning among the opposite sex.
Naturally, then, they have to amuse them
selves as best they can. On Saturdas,
whenever there Is snow, the long hills to the
east of Poughkeepnie are alive with Vassar
girls coasting on their little red
sleds. You would be ostoniihed by
the dash and vigor displayed by these ole
gant young ladies where there is no younjf
man around to look at them Taking head
ers down rocky hills and screeching with
mirth when they meet with mishap is con
sidered having a grand timx When they
get tired of such sport they 'hitch on' bo
hind any farmer's sled which chances to pass
by. One day an old Duchess county farmer
who hail a string of Vassar girls tagging be
hind, trotted his team five miles, in the coun
try without stopping to give them a chance
to untie their sleds. They screamed and
grew mod and hurled slang anl damaged
chewing gum at him during most of tho dis
tance, but he merely chuckled to himself
and drove on. When he finally turned them
adnf t they bad to trudge back through ths
snow to the college on foot, as no teams
enmo along to give thorn a lift That ex
perience Uugut.tho girls to hitch on after ths
manner of boys, leavmg it in their power to
free themselves at any instant
"Do Vassar girls ever play truantl"
"I have frequently known them to run
away to Now York on Saturdays, when they
had only been given permission to go shop
ping in tho town. Perhaps that is not ex
actly playing truant however. I remember
an experience I hail in running off with an
other girl to see Bernhardt in New York.
Wo went to tho evening performance, and,
in order to carry out the affair in proper
style, we hired tho biggost messenger boy we
could find, anJ.rented a dress suit for him.
Then he escorted us to the theatre
and mado a very distinguished-looking
escort, too. The only trouble with
him was that he insisted on going out
between the tho acts to buy poanuti
Of course we couldn't allow him to eat
them in the theater, so he always came back
after the curtain had gone up and dropped
into his scat with a dissipated swagger,
which was really appalling. Well, that
night we were Intending to go book home by
way of tho Hudson river on board the Mary
Powell to enjoy tho moonlight, but wo
niissod her as well as tho early Hudson river
traius. We got back to Poughkeepsie at a
dreadfully disreputable hour, and were under
suspicion for n month at the collogo In spite
of all the fibs wo could invont"
"What other college pranks do you ro
memberr "I must not forget our theatre. Wo had a
stage fitted up w ith a drop curtain and
scenery, and there we gavo famous theatrical
performances. Ono of our favorite pieces.
I renumber, was 'She Stoops to Conquer.'
The actors were all girls and so was the aud
ience. But a portion of the audience wore
handcerchiefs tied around its right arms
and the girls composing it were understood
to be gentlemen. Of course thoy escorted
tho ladies to the play and stimpud their feat
on the floor to express their approbation at
anything particularly fine. When the cur
tain fell at the close of an act tho 'geutlo
men' all grabbled their hats from under the
seats and rushed out into the hall There
they parade 1 up and down In front of the
theatre, shouting to each other: 'Well,
fellers, what'U je taker and 'Reckon
it's my treat; come up to the bar an' order
your own pizen,' and 'a-ay, Jim, got any
good catln' tobaccer m your clothes T I can't
lositively say that the Vassar girl's ideal
gentleman really acts in this manner at tho
theatre, but at least these performances on
the part of tho merry young undor-graduatos
never fail to cause them to laugh themselves
nearly to death. Some of tho plays which
were preiared and acted by the girls were
really fine, and displayed not a little talent
They were highly appreciated, too, and the
mirth of tho audience was never allowed to
break out except when it would not inter
fere with tho actors. We always thought a
great deal of our litti theatre."
"What wore soni 1 of tho other amuse
ments P
"Tho first year the girls had a room in the
basement of tbo col ege, with an open fire
and a big kettle iu it, where they mado
molasses candy. Some of the candy-pull?
they had there resulted, according to my re
membrance, in a great deal of sticky hair
and soiled aprons, and more scorched cand
than an army of ravenous school girls could
eat in a year. Some of these candy-pulls
woul 1 make the participants perfectly wdd
with mischief. On a certain e ening after
wo had held a particularly riotous candy
pull, the girls could not endure the thought
of going to bed. We accordingly huddled
together in one room, against the strict
rules of tho faculty, and waited until every
ono else was asleep. Then we slipped out
of a basement window and paraded
up and down the college grounds
thro Jgh the damp grass and among tho ever
greens. The night was chilly and nobody
dared to speak above a whisper for fear we
should be disco ersd. But we fondly imag
ined we were ha ving a splendid time, and we
giggled under our breaths persistently until
suddenly, when we had ventured a long way
from U16 basement window, a great hoarse
dog began to bark just outside the cedar
hedge. That dog's voice frightened us nearly
to death. Instantly there was a stampede in
tne direction of the college. When we got to
the window every blessed sister of us wanted
to get through it first AVe had a dreadful
time tearing each other's dresses and pulling
each other.' hair, but wo all finally go:
through the window and tumbled up to bed
so frightened nnd breathless that we wore
nearly dead."
Boston Po.t: It is said that one-half of the
world does not kjow how the other half
lives; and it may be added that it's none of
their busmeti
BANCROFT, THE HISTORIAN.
A Ten l'Ictnre or tho Venerable Writer
An Active Old Mnu.
Washington Cor. New York World.
Bancroft, the historian, is one of the most
noticeable figures m Washington society
The remarkable preser ation of bis vigor at
the ndanced ago of M years, is what makes
him tho most interesting. He is not tho
most charming conversationalist In the
wcrld. He fairly roars as he talks. Heap
pears always as if he were addrevsing seine
one a dozen yanis away. He shouts several
sentences at a friend in this high key and
thou without waiting or listening to anyone
elso he ino es to address someone elso. He
calls as much as the most actl e society
1 oung man. Ho darts in and out of the
leading houses of the town with a li?ht skip
that is almost offensive in its exuberant
agility. This veteran still has a slim, erect
figure. His legs are straight There is no
weakness there. He holds himself together
with all that goes to make a good military
wt-up. Ho Is es)ecially agile in tho pres
ence ot ladies, and under the inspiring glance
of a lovely society bud, tho veteran curvets,
shies and skips with the lightsome grace of
some of the thoroughbreds he has been so
I fond of ruling in the iast
This is a picture of him as I saw him the
other day: He sat in a low, easy pony
phaeton drawn by a stout black horse, wear
ine a ulam unornameutod harness. Just
back ot bin. in the rumble sat bis rarwata
colored groom, who bsld the rolns over ths
historian's left shoulder. The old man wore
a dark-blue untriinmed Prussian officer's
cap pulled well down upon his gleaming
eyes, looking out through a huge pair of
round, heavily gold-mounted glasses resting
upon a real hawk nose. A snowy-white,
silky mustache and beard brought out his
fresn color, and stood out in strong contrast
with the dull black of his heavy pilot-cloth
overcoat while about his legs was an afghan
of red, black, and ellow worsteds. It was
a warm, sunny day. His horse jogged along
with a steady gait while tho veteran roared
a soliloquy at bis servant about his calling
places. The man loaned forward deferent
ially and suierintcnded tho calling list
When he said stop the veteran would throw
aside bis afghan and skip up the steps, seem
ing to restrain himself by an effort from
turning handsprings on his way.
Mr. Bancroft lives a very regular life, and
as he has always taken a great deal of out
door exorcise, it is not hard to account for
his long life. He has novef burdened him
self with work. He has been all his long
lifo writing n history that could havo been
written in ten years with moderate labor.
One pngo of manuscript a day of 2j0 word;
he regards as a good day's work. Mr. Blaln,
Lis fellow-historian, a man in tho full vige r
of his life, regards 1,000 words a day as r Jl
any man can bo exacted to do well for a
period of protracted work. Think of this,
ohl merciless editors, who crack the whip
over newspaper reiortersI
A New Kind of Dog.
Detroit Free Tress.
A wild looking man who resembled ono
who hod wrestled with misfortuuo in a catch
as-catch-cau hold nnd Uen thrown in tho
contest, went into a Woodward avenue bird
store the othor day and approached the affa
ble proprietor
"Look here," he sold, "may I tako you
apart for a momentr
"Certainly," replied the man of animals,
"if you cau put 1110 together again."
"Well, here's a letter from my wlfo say,
come out and have something P
Thoy went and hail something; when they
came back the wild-looking man resumed the
letter. "She writes me," ho continued, "to
get her a white canvas-back dog in cross "
"Now you go," said tho man severely.
"Business is business, and Pve no time to fool
away."
He sat down on the curbstone to rest He
was still reading the letter when a sympa
thetic lady stopped to look at him.
"Poor man, ore you lUP she asked kindly.
"Heaven bless you. madam, read that
letter. It you can and w ill, I am a saved
man."
The lady took tho letter as if she were
humoring the whim of a lunatic, and ran 11
over.
"It is easy enough to read," she said.
"Your wife, who seems to be an excellent
woman, wishes you to buy hor a white dog
in cross-stitch, stamped on a canvas splasher,
with crewels to finish it and send by express
at once. I'm sure there's nothing about it
that isn't plain enough."
"Thank you, ma'am. I'll never forget youi
kindness. Where did you say the cross
stitched dog on canvass could be found P
"At any art-embroidery store, and tin
lady walked away, remarking sotto voce:
"Of all stupids, mon are the stujiidost Not
to know what cross-stitch Is!"
Grandmother Gurficld.
Washington Letter.
Dr. Susan Edson, who attended Gen. Gar
field all through his lost illness and who had
been for years an attendant upon tho family,
was in tho White House for several weeks bo
fore tbo assasination. She was there for the
purposo of looking after Mrs. Garfield,
who was very ill at that time. Gen. Gar
field's mother was summoned during this ill
ness of Mrs. Garfield. When the latter be
gan to grow better "Grandma Garfleir
mado ready to go home. When the time
cams for her to go she seemed oppressed with
a great melancholy. She was so unusually
sad at the prospect of parting with her son
that he put his arm around hor and In bit
most cheerful way tried to comfort her.
While he was engaged in comforting hor
kis wifo liegan to urge him to accept an In
vitation lie had to go down the river for a
short trip. HLs wife insisted that he needed
the rest ond, as she was out of nil danger,
she would be better pleased to have him gc
than not Grandma Garfield hero spoke uj
and said: "Oh, James, don't gol I'm so
afraid you will be shot if you go away from
here now." It was this fear that has madf
ber so sad at thn parting with her son, os 11
afterward appeared for tho last time. The
list thing she said to her son liefort
going away was to urge upon him the neces
sity of using great precautions ngninst the
dinger ot being shot by some socret enemy.
Her fears, however, made no impression on
Geo. Garfield's mind.
Grandma Garfield, since her son's death
has given herself up to brooding over bii
memory. SLo spends the entire day In read
ing over his letters to her, and does not np
pjar to care to talk about anything olo but
lierson.
Not Afraid of the Gallows.
Texas Sifting.
Little Johnny Fizzletop was rebuked by
his fathor for throwing stones at another
boy.
"If you keep on in that way you will com
mit murder and be hung some of these days,'
said tho parent
"Oh, if I nm going to be hung. Til have 1
nice time, Tho newspapers will bring out
my picture, and the pretty girls will visit
me every day in my cell, and bring m
flowers, and I'll get into heaven sure, and
that will be bully, won't it, pa?"
Josh Billings: Menny a phool haz passed
thru life with fair suckcoss bi taking a bat
seat and sticking to it
A lap from the Top of Washington
Monument and the Pleasure To lie
Deriied Thercrroin The Next
Ilest Tiling.
Washington Cor. New York Sua.
"Did j ou ever leap from a cry high
place, and do you know w hat the sensation
is during tho passage!"
This was asked by a middle-aged man,
who, with hundreds of others, was wander
ing through the monument grounds a few
days ago.
1 replied that I had no such experience.
"Then you have something to learn," he
said. "Have I had it! Yes; but I am not
satisfied. intend to jump from the top of
that monument It's more than 550 feet
high, they say. I ne er lcajed from a higher
place than 110 or 130 feet It was from the
most of a vessel I don't know exactly how
many feet it was. Did it hurt me! No,
not a great deaL I struck feet fore
most in the water, and went under,
I don't know how far, but a good
TO) s, for they had time to reach me after
I came up, a little dazed, but amply paid
by tho delights of the sensation during the
passage. I know a man w ho jumped from
a higher place and was so much uijured
that ho died; but he didn't understand it,
and struck hard on the water. It requires
skill and coolness to do tbo thing rightly.
Capt Luce, now admiral, went down forty
or fifty feet under tho water when the Arc
tic sank. But that was not a leap. He was
carried down by tho suction when the ship
mado the plunge. It was altogether a dif
ferent experience. He could not help him
self, and had little chance to note how ho
felt He had his little son In his arms at the
time, and that took up his attention, no
doubt, aud the unhappy circumstances of
the little fellow being struck dead
from his arms by a timber when
they rose probably drove from his
mind all recollections of what must
ha e b-en the agreeable sensation of going
down so far into the depth of the ocean.
Luce told me that it was a terrible rather
than an agreeable exjierietice. It was not
like jumping from a high place, a perform
ance attended by sensations which nothing
elso can produce. Things of accident and
design are always attended by different sen
sations, j ou know. I havo been lookiug a
good while for a place to take a great leap,
anl have travelled a great distance to Burvey
the monument with the view to jumping off.
The distance from the top would give plenty
of opjiortumty for enjoying the sensation of
falling a greater distance than any man has
e or f allau."
"But you would be killed and nev'er relate
your exiorienco or onjoy an instant's recollec
tion of the sensation."
"Yes, that's truo, perhaps, but I would
have all the delight while I was falling, just
tho same. That's what I want It would
compensate ma Wo all strive for pleasures
which luvte on eudimr after a kmcsx or
shorter flms. I fancy lat tt Intensity
proportlonod always to tbsdlsUiuee. Don'l
youP
Tho man's earnestness increased, and h
assumed an air of mystery. He resumed:
"But I may not be killed. Indeed, I don'l
mean to bo. If I were I would not car.
Did I know I should I would take the leap rK
the same. No man goes into battle or f noes
iny danger without soms hope of coming out
safe Gensrally he makes provision to that
cnit, which, however faulty, affords him
hope. I will do the same. Tv got a con
trivance, simple as an umbrella, and easy as
a cane to carry, which sprung at the right
liv tant will bind me like a bird, whoso wings
let It come down from any height in perfect
safety. I have never used it but I believe
it will work. It It don't it will matter little.
I will have the supreme pleasure of Jumping
from the monument and in the passage to
the earth experience the most dullghtful
sensation that man has ever had."
That the man was upset in his mind was
evident I encouraged him to proceed, re
marking that as the monument was about
completed he might be deprived of the oov
etod opportunity to make the leap. He sail:
"I was detained on the way. I intended to
make the leap about the last thing before
the workmen left the top. I was there In
time for it, but I could not get the chance.
My Idea was to have Gen. Casey employ ma
in some capacity that would take mo to the
top, and at the hut moment make th leap
in sight of the assembled multitude. But
I shall do it yet I'll find a way. It is not to
immortalize myself, or anything o! that
kind, that I have in view, but solely tho
ocstacy of the fall of 530 feH to the earth
saving the few feet after I have spread my
contrivance for letting mo down easy, or, as
I have said, to the utter extinction of
vitality which would otherwise ensue.
Gen. Casey will miss a great opportunity If
he don't jump off, as his concluding act In
the construction. It would be an immense
feat If the last man on the outside, when
he removes tho last stick of the scaffolding,
Instead of crawling through tho opening to
come down inside, don't junv, he will be a
fooL"
I suggested that tho capltol dome would be
a great place to practice at leaping.
"No," said h "it wouldn't do at alL I've
examined it There are too many olKtades.
It's the sheer leap of 550 feet that will give
the sensations I want to enjoy. It takes ten
or twelve minutes to be hoisted up inside of
the monument I would expect to come
down in less than half a minute. Think
what would be crowded into that brief space
of time the exhilaration, the ocstacy of
frdling from such a helghtl I will do It yet
It will bo something I will have all to myself,
whether I light like a bird or am crushed
into a jolly."
To the question when be intended to take
the leap, he said: "I mean to do it on dedi
cation day, Feb. 21 I will find a way by
that time. Once on the top, and those open
ings not stopptd, I am sure to make the leap.
If I have to wait ton years I will do it I
was bom to do it What greater thing is
there in this world! It's my mission. If I
don't do it," and here the man drew near,
and in a low voire, with strange delibera
tion, added "if I don't do it, if they won't
lot me, I will blow up the monument with
dynamite. I've got it ready. I know the
opning where a charge can be placed that
will bring the monument down to the last
stone. The work of thirty-live years will
tumble to the ground In five seconds. Iff
the nsation I seek the sensation of a leap
from the monument's top. If I am deprived
of that I'll have the satisfaction of seeing
the monument come dewn. That will bo the
next best thing to the leap. Ill do itl Til
do it! Ahal"
At that the man made off at a rapid pact
and I have not seen him since.
Suppressed-
Louisville Courier-Journal
Street begging in Detroit is almost sup
pressed. Tho citizens have run out ol
change.
Truth: Egotism is an alphabet with only
one letter.
The "Modest Request" Mado tor a Railroad
l'am for "helf and Wife."
l'lttsburg Commercial Gazette
In the course of a year the general office of
a big railroad gets some queer, some funny,
some solemn, and some "otherwise" requests
for passes. General Passenger Agent Foru,
of the Pennsylvania lines west of Pittsburg,
showed one yesterday which he calls "the
molest and facetious kind," from a western
editor, living on ono of his lines. Mr. Ford
thought it too good to "keep," and it is given
below, except tho names and locality.
I have a modest request to make. I want
to get a pass for myself and wifo from
to Washington, D. C, and thence to New
York, with stop privileges at Baltimore and
Philapelpbla, and return. I know that the
general rule Is to refuse such inquests as
this. I wish, however, to state my case:
Firstly This is to be my wedding trip,
and country editors, you know, in such cases
depend upon their railroad friends standing
by them in the worthy effort to nake their
brides believe they have caught a millionaire
when they hook on to a country editor.
Poor little innocents! They think that all
they havo to do wUl be to ride free over the
country and be ths honored guests of the
great of the land. Little do they dream
of the painful trots, that they will have to
eke out of a scanty subsistence from tickets
to snide minstrel shows and Uncle Tom's
Cabin troupes; ordrrs on cornerstores, which
will be coldly honored fcr goods at four
times their value; contracts for organs and
sewing-machines, by means of which editors
ore permitted, after giving several hundred
dollars' worth of advertising, to purchase an
instrument after paymg eight-sevenths ot its
value in cash.
By tho courtesy of railroad officials editors
usually succeed in concealing these unpleas
ant things from brides, and I, therefore, fol
low tho custom and bone you for the passes.
I am postmaster , and being one of the
rascals who must go, I will have to hump
myself to get back in time to be kicked out,
aud will not be able to move a peg untd that
momentous event occurs. I think I have
made my case; if you think not, let me know
and I will add an amended and supplemental
petition. Mark your answer "private." I
have not yet billed the town nor requested
any she's "present" at my wedding. I might
say "burn this," but the words are painfuL
Mr. Ford says in this case it was too much
for him, and fearing an "amended petition
he yielded and sent the passes; but he desires
it to bo understood that this is not to be re
garded as a precedent or an example foi
others of the fraternity.
Something About Clocks.
Chicago Tribune,
"Thoro are few things that present mors
striking characteristics than a clock," sail a
dealer to a customer.
"Are your clocks good time-keepersP
asked tho customer iu a now-I-know-I've.
I got-you tone
I "My dear fellow," exclaimed the dealer in
a burst of confidence, "we often sell clock)
without being adied whether they keep any
time or not They are value 1 as works ol
art, and their price depends upon tho ma
tenal aud design of the cases. You see the
variety, to far as external shapes go, is ap
parently limitless. We havo them in mar
ble white and black brass, bronze, china,
orce!aiti, tin, and wood.
"Where ore the best clocks madep
"Switzerland and Germany export the
best tune-keepers Switzorlanl, you kno"
is the homo and native land of the cuckoo
click, while the German mind Invented and
still fosters the calendar clock. American
clocks, you know, are swt in woolen cases,
and although thsy keep excellent time arj
not suitable as presents, except to a school
house or a charity hospitaL"
"Why are clocks so much smaller and
shorter now than they wtre some years agof
"That Is due to the abandonment of the
weights and the adoption of the steel spring)
as a motor in their place, and the use of the
' balance-wheel in place of the pendulum. The
j old-style weights aud the pendulum are stdl
used in regulators as thoy guarantee the
most correct time. In the 400-day clock, a
new invention, both ore dispensed with, anl
I have no doubt they have nearly fulfilled
their mission. Weights have been used is
clocks for over 1,000 years.
"Can't you tell ma something about 'Mj
Grandfather's Clock!' asked the customdr
withajawn.
"Why, certainly." was the ready response.
"It had large wooden wheels, the weights
were all you could carry, and when it stood
on the floor the top scraped the ceding. The
pendulum was a large wooden soythe, the
cogs were greased with lard and tallow,
and it ticked so loud that if you could hear
I it to-day you'd think someone was chopping
wood."
I WONDER HOW.
Life.
I wonder how they can have met
TssM two, who, where the blue waves wst
The 'tuning sands, are passing by
She looking sweetly coy and shy.
He pleased, though rather cool s yet!
An hour or more 1 nre they let
Slip quickly by How can they get
Such pleasure front the sea and sky I
I wonder how!
They come, when now the sun Is set,
Humming some sweet ol 1 love duet;
Sho t rs his cane perched upon high,
lie sn ings her hat as they pass nigh.
Some day 'twill break, this witching net,
I viw-Up howl
A Healthful Exercise.
New York Sun
"Jre you fond of rowing. Miss Smlthers!"
Miss Smitbers is a Boston girl and the
twain were out in a boat
"Oh, very fond of it indeed. I thins: it is
such lov ely exercise."
"Have you rowed very much thissoasnnf
"Ye," Miss Smithers replied, with a little
cultured cough behind her hand, "I have
ridden a great deaL"
INSIDE VICKSBURG.
RECOLLECTIONS OF AN EX-CONFEDERATE
CAPTAIN.
Settled Down for a Regular Siege lloro-
barslmeiit br Land ami Water Kx-
ploslmi of a Mine The itifiof
Truco Surremlered-
St Louis Republican.
The enomy sottlad down to a regular siege.
He increased his force of skirmishers, en
larged his rifle pits, erected new batteries
and opened a steady fire along the entire line
of works. He mode no attempt to bury the
brav e fellows that gave up their lives in the
charge, and after two days the bodies of his
dead became so offensive that at last he was
compelled to grant a truce of a few hours to
perform this act of humanity. This work
done, the firing was resumed and kept up by
the enemy day and night for about six
weeks. His force was so great and his ad
vantages by land and water so many that ha
was able by reliefs and reinforcements to
keep up a continuous fire on Vicksburg from
all points. At night the bombardment from
tho mortir fleet was fearful Large shells
were thrown high into the an, where their
lighted fuses looked like large sky-rockets.
Then thoy would burst like a chip of thunder,
and the fragments would be hurled down
into the place, frequently killing and wound
ing the men. Others would plunge down
into the streets and explode atr entering
the ground, tearing up the earth and leaving
immense holes. Shells would tonr through
houses, causing dreadful destruction. Hos
pitals were struck time and again, and many
of the sick and wounded killed.
Notwithstanding the dreadful situation,
the liombardment by land and water was
kept up, the defenders were determined.
During the first week our rations were issued
in the usual quantities. After that they
were cut down to fourteen ounces of food
daily. This at last was changed when our
beef and bacon gave out and mule meat sub
stituted. For several days it was hard to
get the troops to touch it, but hunger re
quires no sauce. Sickness pruvaded to an
alarming extent Famine and want were
ever present We hoped against hope for
Joe Johnston's command to relieve us. We
heard so much by the "grapevine route,"
about the mighty army under Johnston that
had been organized at Jackson, how Lee and
Bragg had sent on their veterans to rescue
us. It kept up our hearts and hopes, and
every day we expected to hear their guns.
Tho enemy, in the meantime, had drawn
his line closer and closer, until only a few
yards separated us. He invented about this
time a devil's mortar, mado of wood and
bound with iron. It held just enough pow
der to throw a shell over our works, when it
would burst right in our midst, lulling ami
wounding our men dreadfully. We re
sponded with hand-grenades, and learned,
after the siege, with the some deadly effect
upon the enemy. Nevertheless, this wooded
mortar was a terror to us.
Then we mined and could hear the enemy
in their tunnels at the same work. Tins con
tinued until the first day of July at nooa,
when an immense mine was exploded la
front of the Sixth Missouri, CoL Sen
tiny. It seemed as if hell itself had joined
the efforts of the enemy to dislodge us. The
ground about us fairly trembled; clouds ol
earth were thrown high into the air with a
appalling roar. The dreadful loss ot life it
entailed and the deafening roar ot fifty
pieces of the enemy's artillery concentrated
on this spot It was thought would make out
troops abandon this point On the contrary,
they stood firmer than sjver. We moved
into that awful breach, supporting the gal
lant Second Missouri, CoL Cocknll, whe
rushed to the front of his regiment
saying: "All of us must die here
before this point is carried. Men of
Misslouri, stand firm; the fate of Vicksburg
depends on you." We answered him with a
cheer: "Stand to your ground, colonoL the
First Missouri will die with you too." Our
colonel, Riely, was at his side in a moment
to assure him of our help. For two hours
those two regiments lay in that breach, with
bursting shells and hissing bullets all around
us. The wounded from the explosion and
those buried in the ruins were dug out under
this dreadful fire. It was horrible to look
upon the blackened and mutilated bodies
taken out of this place. The wounded were
cared for as tenderly as possible. All this
time we were expectmg a charge, but it was
not made.
At dark this part of tho line was repaired
and the following morning the line presented
a very good defense. During the day we
understood Johnston had arrived at Big
Black river, and was fighting his way to
ward us. Great excitement prevailed, and
the troops desired to be led over tho works
and cut our way to Johnston's command.
The next morning, July 'J, about 9 o'clock,
a flag of truce was sent out by Gen. Pember
ton. The firing ceased, and shortly after
Gen. Bowen and CoL Montgomery passed
out of the works. The interview that wai
held was not satisfactory, for they returned
about an hour later, and the firing was re
sumed. About the middle of the afternoon
another truce took place. Gens. Pemberton
and Bowen and CoL Montgomery went out
and held another interview with Gens.
Grant, McPherson and others in plain view
of the regiment It was then settled and
Vicksburg was surrendered.
The formal surrender was to take place
the following day. The storm had passed
and quiet reigned that night, the first in al
most fifty, and we passed amidst the horrors
of war. The silence was at first so unusual
that It became in a manner painful, and pro
duced a feeling of restlessness. This in
time pasted away and we slept that night
without danger. About noon the next day,
July 4, ho troops marched out and stacked
arms in front of tho works. We returned
to our former position and the Federal forces
marched in a division and took formal pos
session of the city.
About a week after the surrender we were
ready for the march. Paroles had been
furnished to all and we bid adieu to our
captors, who treated us royally indeed.
There was nothmg too good for the defend
ers of Vicksburg. We fraternized as
readdy as if no trouble had ever existed
between us.
The Harvest Time.
Detroit Free Press.
Under date of Toronto, Dec 3, a former
Detrolter writes to a friend here:
"You say you are seriously thinking of pay
ing this city a visit in January. Let me ad
vise you to make up your mind at once and
set the date of your arrival, so that I may
secure you accommodations at a hotel There
are only a few rooms to spare even now.
Between the 15th and the 1st we expect at
lea-t 15) American cashiers, confidential
clerks and cashiers, who have discovered
that their books won't balance, and they will
naturally want the very best accommoda
tions the city affords."
That Settled 111m.
They Judge.
Mashor Ah h. Permit me to escort you,
ladiesS
Ladies Certainly; we're just going to get
somj oysters.
Unw Chloroform Affects Plants
Plants are affected by the vapors of Chloro
form ami ether very much as animals are.
They hinder the generation of seeds and
causa fi-niwlnir nlants to dronn nH flnallv- t&
'die.
f!KHI

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