Newspaper Page Text
Springfield Globe -Republic
TIIK HlMltNGPIELI GJ-OIIE,
Volumes IV. Numbor a2.
SPRLNGFIELD, OHIO, TUESDAY EVENING, JANUAIiY 13, 1885
Va1h. -w-ar"-w nr.HVi. TO
OWEN, PIXLEY d. CO.
Ohio Valley and Tennessee. Fair, fjener
ally colder weather; followed in western tKr
t!on by slight rise ot temiwrature; northerly
wind, shifting to emterly; higher hirometer
followed in wen portion by lower barometer.
Kverythiug tumbles nowadays, eren the
llray Melton 0erroais, which we thought
below any tKMsil.le chance ol a tumble, hare
uow fallen to 3. Doubt if their equal can be
found at a quarter or a third more.
Moderate weather causes many strange
changes in the Clothing line.
The Fine Double-Breasted Fur Bearer
Coats and Vests are in the same boat tum
bled from $1S to $15. See window.
Another tumble in your choke of nine
styles in heary and medium weight Over
coats for $10.
These All Wool (iarments in sires 35, 3G,
38, 39, -10, 41, 42, are o b seen to-day
STRIKE AND RIOT.
Men Terribly Beaten at South Bend
and the Militia Called Out.
Proposition in the Senate to put
Grant on the Retired List.
Schuyler Colfax Drops Dead.
Explosion at Syracuse.
on extra bargain table, near west entrance.
When yeu ste a $1C Overcoat otTered for $12,
eiict to 6nd it here for $10.
Besides, where do you expect to find a
Coat right in cloth, cut, sewing and hang?
There's something in faithfulness. The
workmen may think it lost, but it shows in
the finished gvuient; best ol all in the wear.
Where else but here do you find substan
tially made All Wool Suits in Men's Mies for
$y, or other grades at $10, $11 and $12?
Where else can yon find an assortment of
Bob' Short Pant Suits for $2, or a grade
better for $3, or Big Boys' Suits $4.50 or $7,
The best hit we're made lately, and one
that shows the real value in it, is to be seen
by examining the 2 to 7 year riush Trimmed
Cape Overcoa'ts $13 for $5. Six left and no
more to be had.
Schuyler Colfax Dead.
MixsiAPOLis, Minn, January 131:40 .
m. Schuyler Colfax dropped dead in Union
depot at Mankota, Minn.
Chicago, January 13 The Daily New?,
Minneapolis, Minn, states that Vice Presi
dent Schuyler Colfax dropped dead
in the Omaha depot at Mankota
at 10:20 this afternoon. He arrired over
the Chicago, Milwaukee k St. Paul railroad
and walked over to the Omaha depot. He
took ofl' his overcoat, apt down, and almost
immediately fall over and expired. Death is
supposed to havt been caused by heart
Jean Pants seem in extraordinary demand.
They say we are below the market in good
goods; "probably" w are.
One thing quite certain, we doubtless have
100 pairs to select from to any ordinary deal
ers ten, and in about that ratio throughout
11 stocks. Is this any advantage to pur
chasers? We sell as the majority wish to buy,
Til.: At one price.
We do nothing better perhaps than the
In our large and varied lines pitrons are
accommodated at nearly every even change
price from 5c to a dollar twenty-five, and
purchases are made so much quicker.
So with Handkerchiefs; you know your
pecuniary circumstances and just how much
you wish to lay out for an article of this
kind. The goods are here and the prices to
fit. If it's 0c, 10c, 20c or 25c, or better,
everyone is plainly marked. You know the
If it's String Ties, or Fancy Bows, or
Strapped Scarfs at a qnarter, half, three
quarters, or an even dollar, everybody who
has bought once comes again.
Half the 4-ply Linen Collars and Cuffs sold
in the city come from here. Why? Because
the prices are so different.
White Shirts too. So. 3 at 75c, So. C $1,
No. 5 $1.25, Peerless as good as their name.
Fancy Percale Shirts we probably show in
greater variety of new patterns than can be
found among small dealers, and still we sel
dom think to speak oftbem.
OWE.V, PIXLEV k CO,
Springfield's Only One-Price Clothiers.
OSTON STORE LOCALS.
Clonk., Cloaks, Cloaks.
We have a few plush garments left, bust
measure iizas 38, 40 and 42, which must be
sold tq-morrow, and we can save any lady
wishing to purchase a fine garment from $10
to $20 on the trad:.
Remember, to-morrow (Wednesday) is the
last day of out grand Sample Cloak display.
Boston Store, 34 South Market street
Strike anj Riot at South Bend.
Chicago, January 13. A report reaches
here that a ttrike is in progress at the Oliver
chilled plow works, at South Bend, Ind, in
which nearly eight hundred men are engaged.
A riot is said to have occurred this morning,
and six men killed. The militia Lave been
called out. Telegrams sent out from here
bring no details thus far.
Soctii Binu, Ind, January 13. The cause
of this morning's riot was that the 700 men
who struck last night, and who are mostly
Poles, to-day marched to the Piow Works in
a body and compelled all the employes to stop
work. A rint ensued, and a number of shots
were exchanged, and several men frightfully
pounded and beaten. It is not known
whether any were fatally shot or injured.
Business is suspended and the excitement in
tense. Cuicauo, January 13. Gentleman here
conversant with some facts about the trouble
among the employes at Oliver's Chilled Plow ,
Works at South Bend says the company em
ployed about one thousand men, nearly all of
whom were Poles. Shortly after the national
election the works shut down, resuming at
the end of three weeks, when only one
half ot the force was given work, and
a reduction in wages of these men
wa ordered. Ever since threats have been
made by the unemployed men against works
and also against the workmen employed.
Latterly some of the Chicago socialist
leaders have been addressing meetings of
these anemployed men, at which it is said
they were encouraged to make the attack
South Bind, Ind, January 13. Yester
day the tmDloyes at the Oliver chilled plow
works struck for higher wages, and compelled
all men to quit at an early hour this morn
log. Two hundred congregated in front of
the gate and would not allow any to enter.
Those who tried to enter were beaten about
the head and body. Officer Kelley, while
trying to quiet the mob was shot through the
scalp and badly pounded.
When Capt Ed. Nicer attempted to go into
the office, the men attacked him with clubs.
He was badly hurt about the bead. The city
veteran guards mustered seventy men to res
cue him. The strikers then left. Immense
crowds are thronging the streets and great
Jjyy rajjBB5apsrTfy Jsi
A Letter from the Pope.
Nkw York, January 13. A special from
Rome to the Sun says: "The Pope is now en
gaged in preparing a special letter ia which
ho will congratulate Archbishop Gibbons as
well as all biAops recently assembled in Bal
timore in plenary council, upon the issue of
their deliberations,and upon the harmony and
unity with which tne conclusions of the
council were reached. It is generally be
lieved tlut Archbishop Gibbons will be cre
ated Cardinal in May next."
Tobovto, January 13. Rev. W. F. Camp
bell, on a secret mission to the Toronto dio
cese, Anglican church, has got into financial
difficulties and absconded to the States. He
was also general secretary to the Church or
England Missionary Society for their province.
It is believed that neither society will suffer
through his defalcation.
Washimjtox January 12 Sixate. Peti
tion presented: From Belva A. Lockwood,
with reference to the counting of the Presi
Bill reported favorably: Preventing the
unlawful occupation ot public lands.
The Chair laid before the Senate the reso
lution offered by Mr. Hawley calling on the
President for a copy ot the historical state
ment concerning the public policy of the Con
federate State Government, which provoked
a bitter debate, participated in by Senators
Harris, George, Vest, Morgan, Ingalls, Sher
mon, Lamar, etc In the course of the debate
Mr. Harris objected to the resolution, as the
resolution consisted ot a somewhat volumi
nous argument by General Sherman with his
side of a personal issue made through the
newspapers between himself and Jefferson
senator Sherman, alter reciting the cir
cumstances of the controversy, said he did not
desire to wound the feelings of an old man,
"but great God," said he, "will it ever be dis
puted in this country of ours at any time
within a thousand years that in the war and
before the war Jefferson Davis was a conspir
ator and a traitor to his country? Never, I
trust." Mr. Sherman felt compelled to enter
his most solemn protest agaiist Davis being
treated as a patriot. Mr. Sherman said that,
from a feeling of personal delicacy growing
out of bis relationship to one of the parties to
the controversy, he would have preferred not
speaking on it. But some Senators seemed to
treat it as a controversy between two citizens.
It would be a matter of surprise to Gen. Sher
man that it was of that character. Gen. Sher
man had stated that be did not know Davis
personally. General Sherman had by invita
tion attended a reunion of the army post
and in the course of some impromptu re"
marks as reported by the newspapers, per
haps correctly enough, said he regarded Mr.
Davis as not only a rebel but a conspirator,
and that he had seen certain letters and pa
pers while on his march through Georgia
tending to show that Davis, while the war
was progressing, bad abandoned bis States
rights convictions and had become practically
a dictator in the South.
Senator Vest regretted the introduction of
the resolution, not that he would oppose the
largest publication of the history of the Con
federate States, but because the Senate would
be making itself, indirectly at least, a party
to a controversy that had been going on in
the public press. His feelings toward Gen
eral Sherman were of the kindest character,
and he believed he was his personal friend.
The Senate adjourned.
Ho ess. Bills introduced and referred: For
the establishment of a branch soldiers' home
in California; appropriating $75,000 for the
erection of a public building at Madison,
Ind.; referring to the President the contro
versy between the United States and Venez
uela; to settle the claims of any State for
expenses incurred in defence of the United
States; tendering the thanks of Congress to
certain officers therein named for the rescue
of Lieutenant Greely.
A bill was passed authorizing the judge of
the supreme court of the District ol Colum
bia to appoint a competent lawyer to piepare
a criminal code for the district.
Mr. Hitt moved to restore to the $3,500
class the consulship at Hankow, China,
which in the Consular bill had been placed in
the $1,500 class.
In advocacy of this amendment Mr. Ryan
called attention to the fact that a line of
steamers were now running between Shang
hai and Hankow under the American flag.
Mr. Hitt's metion was lost.
Resolutions offered: Asking the Postmas
ter General as to whether the eight-hour law
applied to letter-carriers.
The House then went into consideration of
the diplomatic appropriation bill.
Washington, January 13 Sbhatk. Dolph
reported favorably House bill repealing pre
emption timber culture and desert land law
and modifying homestead act.
Edmunds introduced a bill authorizing the
President to appoint and place on the retired
of the army any one who had been a com
mander ot armies or general-in-chief. Ed
munds explained that the object of the bill
was to authorize the appointment of General
Grant, and asked for immediate consideration
of the bill. At the request of Cockerell it
was laid over until to-morrow.
Hocsk. Mr. Stockilager, in rising to a
question of pririlege, stated that the aggre
gate sum proposed for public buildings was
not $15,000,000, but only $6,227,000.
dry goods dealers, aisigned, with total pref
erences ol $27,125. Their liabilities are put
at $80,000, and the assets at $70,000.
Suit was commenced by eight colore! citi
zens of ML Vernon against Messrs. Cunning
bam Bros, proprietors of the roller skating
rink, for damages on account ot being refused
admission to the rink.
Capt. Phelan is now guarded in the hos
pital by a policeman. CDonovan Rossa, in
an editorial printed in the United Irishman,
warns Phelan not to come into his office
again "with knife and pistol in bis posses
sion." Iu the investigation which must fol
low ther attack on Phelan very interestfpg
developments are expected.
Joseph IT. Legate says the letter priated as
his, about St. John, is a "cold-blooded
The following officers were installed lata, Sat
urday night for the ensuing term in Cats.wba
Lodge, No. 349, I. O. O. F., by D. D. G. M.
King, assisted by Granville Wones.of Spring
field: N. G, C. E. Runyan.
V. G., I. 0. Page.
Secretary, David Laugblin.
Per. Secretary, D. S. Bumganlser.
Treasurer, Joseph Pearson.
At the close of the session the number pnJS
ent, together with the visiting friends, re
galed themsejves with oysters at the Pearson
Bruce Mel via chopped off the ends of
two fingers last week-with an ax.
Mrs. Joseph Pearson cut her right arm
badly, a lew data ago, with a piece of glass
Jack Rust is hobbling about on crutches,
the result of a glancing lick with an ax,
which severed one toe and badly mangled
Thomas Runyan carries a black eye, re
ceived from the paw ot a pbiyftil horse, a few
The fine weather the past few dayr
has enabled the people generally to bearound
and about, making business transactions
somewhat more active.
The wheat in the neighborhood looks ex
tremely well, and we have no reason to
doubt that 'S5 will be recorded as prosper
We would be glad to hear of the Legisla
ture taking come steps toward the railroad
crossing on the Urbana pike. If the steps be
ever so small, nevertheless we will appreciate
it very much. We'll never say "die" 'till
we're dead, and then we can't say it all.
Miss Louie Ilges, of near this place, spent
the holidays at Greenville, Ohio, visiting
friends and relatives.
Mr. Cbas. Fiauk returned last week from
Florida. He admires tiie country very much.
but did'nt like the idea of paying $15 per
week for boarding.
Mr. John Wekh will shortly remove from
the Rubsam'fafm.' He will 'probably move
on the widow Tiers's farm, just south of
where he now lives.
Found Straying away, a young bay mare,
star in forehead, blind in one eye. Owner
can have same by calling on Mason, about
one and one-half miles east of this place.
Mr. Oscar and Miss Susie Baker will return
home this week from the East, where they
have made quite an extended visit. We ap
preciate their return home very much.
These Renowned Pianos are kept
in all the different styles by
R. F. BRANDON & CO.,
'T'-t Kelly's Arcade.
CtJKKkCTXD BV CUAS. W. PAYXTIR i CO.
Wednesday, Dec. 23, 1SS4.
Blm-20e; choice scarce.
Re)(Joud supply; Sue
Pouiar Uood demand; clilctrus, young, 20a
Art'ts-JOcall 0 per bush.
i'OTOEN 35aSuc per bush.
SWM roTATOEa tl.50ain0perliusli.
iiEiGic Dull; TSc a 11.50 per Mil.
OxiosTSc per bush.
HALT-feov-nake brand, $1.30 per bid.
Coal. V10a2Ucr gal.
JlKATs-Country cured meats, few in market.
Hne wasVl, 2a30c; unwashed, JJ ofl.
fc'coAm Aarge demand and prices low; gran
ulated, 7c peu,: "A" white, i'ic per lb; extra C
light, c plb; jellow C,Xc per lb; C, 5c
per lb. j
CorrKE Mke lower; Jara, 20aS0c per lb;
Klo, golden, lt per lb; Bio, prime green, I2Ua
ifeperlb; Rloi union, 10c per lb.
rimers W5-0c per gal.
MoLASsKS-htOrlecs ,0S0c pergahaorgkam
Me per gal.
BICE Best CaSlna, 8Mc per lb.
JUS AtaH m, ftt lb.
A Tremendeua Exploaioa.
Sihaccsi, January 13. At the Solvay
Process Soda-ash works, three miles west ot
this city, at 4 o'clock this morning, a large
distilling vessel, weighing four tons, ei loded
and was blown seventy-five feet in the air.
It landed inside the b lilding, carrying away
the entire roof of the Urge main building.
Aaslgnuient of Hanker.
Baltimore, January 13. A special from
Warrenton, W. Va, says the sudden death
ot Dr. E. F. Payne, an active member of the
fi" of Payne k Oo, bankers, in Warrenton,
has mde necessary the assignment of their
assets, and an announcement to this effect
was made to-day. There are no preferences.
Washiotox, January 13 For Ohio Val
ley and Tennesse: fair, generally colder
weather, followed in western portion by
slight rise of temperature; northerly winds,
shifting to easterly; higher barometer, fol
lowed in west portion by lower barometer.
A tsroken Retd.
WilWisoiov, O, January 13. An exami
nation of the accounts of ex-Treasurer Reid
show him to be short about $15,000. Reid's
bondsmen are good, and the county will lose
Cuicaoo, Jaauary 13. The trains on the
Chicago and Western Indiana Belt railroad
are moving as usual to-day, the places of
the striking engineers having been supplied.
Beilih, January 13. The Chinese lega
tion denies that German officers are being en
rolled for the Chinese army.
Colchics, January 12. Sinate The
(Senate was not in session.
House Among the bills introduced was
one to authorize the incorporation of socie
ties for the detection and arrest of horse
Mr. Turner Amending section 3374 so at
to require railroad companies to print the
fare upon railway tickets.
Messrs. Brown, Thorp, Love, Cole and Ad
dison compose the House Committee to ex
amine the management of the penitentiary
under the present board of managers and re
port their finding to the Legislature. Three
are Republicans and two Democrats.
Plans for an exposition building at Cleve
land hare been prepared.
George Augustus Sal had a public recep
tion in New York Monday afternoon.
Senators Wilson and Mitchell on Monday
introduced bills to increase the pensions of
widows or minor children of deceased soldieis
and sailors of the United States in the late
war from $S to $12 per month. The bill of
Senator Mitchell also provides the fact that
the soldier or tailor was regularly mustered
into the service shall be prima facie evidence
of bis soundness at that time.
General Hazen h.s filed with the Secretary
of War formal charges against Gen. Cbaun
cej McKeever for alleged remarks derogatory
to Lieutenant Greely.
One hundred guns were fired at Pork
mouth, Monday, in honor of Gen. James S.
Robinson taking his seat as Secretary or State.
Mrs. Myra Clark Gaines divided her prop
erty equally between six gmnd-children.
The employes of Oliver Bros, k Phillips,
Pittsburg, unanimously agreed to strike
against a reduction.
Martin F. Cheever, a brakeman on the X.
Y, P. 4 O. railroad, was run over and killed
at Mansfield, O.
John Coffey was arrested for the murder of
James McMulIen and wife near Crawfords
rille, Ind, and made a written coifession of
Isaac. ZelUer k font, OiaeUnati, wholesale t
We are sorry to learn of the illness ot Mr.
Oscar Ingersoll. He has our sympathy en
tirely in his troubles insanity.
Hon. J. H. Jones is ventilating his ideas of
The Xormal School here is very likely to
become a fixed fact, and all persons should
avail themselves ot the privilege of helping it
to their utmost, as it will be much cheaper to 1
educate your children at home than to send.
Installation of G. A. R. came of! Saturday
evening, January 10, to a large house. Post
Commander W. H. Grant, of Mitchell Post,
acting as M. O. to the satisfaction ot all.
Comrades Grant, Delo, Hahn, Bartholo- i
mew, Gelwicks, Howe, Lilli", Ambrose, Kin
dle.of Mitchell Post, Springfield, were present,
besides other visiting soldiers and friends.
After services come off a grand supper, given
by the ladies, to whom all honor is due.
After supper a campSre was held, which was
quite interesting. Comrades Kindle, Delo,
Bartholomew, Ambrose and Lillis added
much to the entertainment of all; besk'ei our
young ladies assisted, greatly to their credit.
From present outlook business will likely
be good here soon.
Owing to the very bad weather the concert
of the Tremont Orchestra was sot well at
tended, but it is said to have been very good
and deaerviDg of a large patronage.
"An mutation to fho picnic and
Burt Williams will be there. How
splendid!" Phirbe looked in the glas
as t.he joke and thought to herself
that sho was really very pretty, and
that she was just the person to grace
the Williams man-ion' as its mistress.
"And if I can "only have Burfc to myself I
tor the day, she thought, "he will
surely offer himself. He don't know
which he likes beit, Lizzie or me. It I
could only keep Lizie from going."
But to keep Lizzie from going would
not be so easy. What excuse was there
to make to her cousin for wishing her
to absent her-clf from the merry-making?
A sudden thought occurred to
Phoebe. It was a fearfully mean one.
She could hide Lizzie's shoes. 'At that
moment Lizzie had just one pair be
sides her slippers, and her ioot was so
small that she could not wear those of
any other member of the family.
There would not be time to buy a
pair, for they were miles from town,
and the general store only dealt in
rough boots that Lizzie could not wear.
"Yes," Phoebe said to herself, ''that
would keep her at home."
She crept into Lizzie's room and saw
the shoes, with their tops turned ower,
set upon the window-sill. Nothing
could have favored Phoebe's plan bet
ter. Some tramp would bo supposed
to have stolen them. Sho whisked
them away in an instant, ant!, hiding
them under her apron, carried them to
her own room and hid them atithe bot
tom of her trunk.
"All is fair in love as in wr,V ahe
said to herself; but, after all, it was not
lore for the man, though she thought
bim hands oxae. u much as lorayfjor W
estates. Phipbe was very ambitious,
and she was poor, living with her aunt
and obliged to take everything from
her hands. There was, perhaps, some
excuse for her wishing to marry well.
Down in the dining room Lizzie was
laughing over the picnic. She, too,
hoped to have Hurt Williams at her
side all day, and she had really given
her heart to him. It would have made
no difference to her if he had been a
poor mechanic, instead of Burt Wil
liams with the greatest fortune in the
county. She thought he loved her
sometimes; still Phoebe tried hard to
cut her out, and Phoelie was prettier
than she was; she knew it.
"He would show his preference to
day," she said, and as he behaved on
this occasion ho would judgo ol his
heart. "If he likes Phoebe best, I will
stop thinking of him," she said to her
self. "Come girls," said her mother, "dress
yourselves, and pa can drive you over;
and take wraps, for it is sure to bo
chilly after dark; and don't tit down by
the river I misdoubt it's dangerous.
And don't stand in the sun."
But the girls were off before she had
done speaking, aud in a few moment
Lizzie was heard to cry, in a melan
choly way, from the head of the stairs:
"Oh, ma! I can't find my shoes."
Phoebe heard and laughed. The
I mother ran up stairs. As Lizzie ninned
i the black lace scarf about her throat
with her most becoming turquoise pin
ehe heard them decide that the shoes
had been stolen by a tramp.
-"Tba idea of putting them on the
J aill!" aaid the mother.
"I thought ther seemed damp, said
Lizzie. "Oli, deaf, how foolish I was!
Nsw I most etay at home." And she
began to cry a little.
They came and told Phoebe, who wu
all astonishment .and commiseration,
and who asked if &a should stay at
"Of -what use would that be"?" asked
Lizzie. "Ob, no; go. I declare I am
the unluckicst girl! I wanted to go so
"Of course, 70U did," said Phoebe to
Her uncle drove her over to the pic
nic grounds, talking all the, way about
Lizzie's shoes, anif Phoebe felt very
mean and contemptibjo. Somehow she
could not enjoy herself, and as the
time wore on and Burt Williams did
not present himself she became utterly
"Where is Burt?" asked .everybody.
But Burt came not.
Evening drew on. People .began to
go home. It had been the trfi,pio'est.
the most wretched day for Pheebe.
Meanwhile, Lizzie, "sitting witli hex
crochet work on' the piazza, beard
voice at the gate, saving:
wooa morning, Aiiss Aiiuer:
She looked up. There stood Bar
"I met your father in the road," he
said, "and he told me you were not go
ing to the piciuc."
"Yea, think of the funny reason! J
haven't any shoes," said Lizzie. "Noth
ing but these slippers; a tramp has
All the world looked bright to hei
now. and she could laugh.
"Well, I am not going if you are
not," said Burt. "Mar I cob up and
"Of course," said Lizzie.
The mother was busy up stairs; .no
body was near. Burt sat down very
closer to Lizzie and played wit's the ball
of bluevworsted she was knitting into
She felt her cheeks glow, and slae was
glad that she had not gone to the picnic.
The bees hummed in the garden; Che
scent of the new-mown hay came of
rrom the paature.
' They sat silent for many momenta.
In all her life Lizzie would not forget
that happy time.
"Lizzie," said Burt, after awhile, "1
suppose you know I love you. I haven't
told you so out and out, but I think you
must have seen it."
"No, Ididnt know; I was not sure,"
"And I'm not at all sure about yon,
lizzie," said Burt; "do you care a lit
tle for me? Will you marry me, dar
ling? I shall be very wretched if yon
What Lizzie saiel did not make Burt
When Pbcsbe came home that night
sK! looked cross and dispirited."
"Had a nice time?" asked her aunt.
-"No, it was stupid. Lizzie didn't
miss much," said Phoebe.
"Why, there now, I rather thnk she
didn't," said Mrs. Miller; "I can't
keep it to myself, Phoebe. Pa met Burt
Williams and told him she wasn't go
ing and he called, and they are en
gaged, Phoebe. Why, it's like a story,
-1'es," said Phoebe; she could not
ear any more; her anger was too great;
and Mrs. .Miller shrew dly suspectedwhy.
The next morning Lizzie's shoes were
found just under the window.
"Not a bit damp with dew or anv
thing," -said Mrs. Miller to herself.
Hut though she had jumped at a pretty
correct conclusion as to their disap-
iiearance, all, had turned out so well for
.izzio that shetwas generous enough to
say nothing to any one.
WIT AND HUMOR.
When a Boston wife puts a postscript
to her notes her husband catches on.
N. B. Notabena in the house.
"No, sir," said the practical man,
"no bric-a-brac on the mantel for me.
It's a nuisance. Where's a man to put
It takes four rat-skins to make a pair
of slippers, with the understanding that
the slippers are not to be sold in Chica
go or St. Louis.
"Always go to bed on a cracker or
crust of bread," says a hygienic writer.
Most people would prefer to go to bed
on a clean sheet.
Boy (with feeling) I'm an orphan,
and father's broke his legs and is in
jail, and mother's in an insane asylum,
and if I go home without any money
they'll lick me.
"The first umbrella appearedin Eng
land in the year 1777." It is not stat
ed when the umbrella disappeared in
England, but it is safe to wager that it
was also in 1777.
"McSwilligen, have vouread the new
story. A Cry in the" Night'?" asked
Podsnap. "No." replied McSwilligen,
"being a married man, my children
supply me." Oil City Derrick.
So you don't know what Burdette
means by a "macadamized pike," eh?
Just you tackle a pike that is about six
days caught and eight days cooked on
a railroad Iuach-counter, and you will
The humorous market is dull. Ws
quote coachmen jokes, prime, at 5 to 6
cents per million; ice cream jokes, no
demand; bank cashier jokes, -weak at 1
to 1J cents per ton; choice plumber
jokes in demand at $1 to $2 per ton.
The man who prayed for those who
sit under the "drippings of the sanctu
ary" was a near relative of another
who besought the Lord to "prop up-da
brudder and sister with the propera
tions of de gospel." Harper's Bazar.
Tlis wan who drove a mule in a race
and won in remarkably quick time un
derstood male nature. He kept ttig
irintr at the reikis and shoutinir. "Back.
back, you brute! a.11 the way round the
coiirse, and the muievent ahead for all
he ivas worth.
"The wisest of all sayings," said
some one one night at the old Yielding
Club, "is t?eoIa Greek maxim. jKnow
thyself.' " "'.Yes," said Charles Ken
ney, "there's a deal of wisdom ia it
Know thyself; but' he added, "never
introduce a friend."
A reporter 'n describing' the turning
of a dog ou' of court by order of the
bench, says: "The ejected cairane, as he
was ignominiously dragged l'"pm the
room, cast a glance ai the Juae for
the purpose ol being able to xaenzuy
him at some future time.
"Mother," said a little girl, who was
3ged in making an apron for her
doQ. "I believe I will be a Duchess
when grow up." "How do you ex
pect to become a Duchess, my daugh
ter?" 'Why, by marrying a Dutch
man, to fee sure," replied the .little
A Lewisfon ilunily recently received
a visit from a vwell-known clergyman.
In the family is as active little girl of 3
years. She ,- listened1 very attentively
while gra'ee'1i-.is,befttr"j!aia,"'and at its
conclusion she looked up in fbe clergy
man's face and aid: "'lTtin't pretty to
talk so at the table. My papa don't."
Stranzers are surprised to see New
Orleans policemen in full uniform I
CLEARING OFF TIMBER.
Hltharto Unpublished Article Uf.
A few week ago. weaned with xnj $,
editorial duties, 1 laid m pen aside and'3 ',i
went on a visit to my uncle, who owns--''-!
a farm in a distant State. I am partlal.y
10 rurai inc. ixoiuiuK wouiu suit-me; j
VtittAP tli.n tn mvi a t.pm in I tA JM., Wi
try. I hardly think a farm in the.citjt
would do. i no horse cars mlent-tna.
over your cows, and the pollcomon-j
Dreaic into your corn criDs and' steal ,
jour coru. 1 sr- .r-ira
Wall mv nnpl raftAiniil ms wtth
open arms. Said he: "Parmenas, those "
heavy editorials that you wrote bmm
were creating such a profound sensation -y-j
in Aurupe are wearing you uuu -,T.a
V ..I....I m.-aAl .rnn- mn. mfr tTMrt1V.1
CUJUTtu uijavix icij uiuvu m vhviv.i
Jim s. rooming was coo gooa lor mo -
at least I thought so and time sliv
nerl ttwnv Tprr nlp'Uftntlv- Aa Mui!
weather approached the bracing: fJrV'
seemed to fill me with a desire to eauf-S2
cine mv muse1e.. so nna maminr I s "-
mArkf1 fcrt ITnrlA .Tim? 4iSav. hnVAn't -i
- ----- j . - -
vnn trnt QimA timliprvftll wnnr rAemroA .
off this winter? I'm an excellent
chopper, and to see the chips fly aacl' -'
the giant oaks fall crashing to the earth'
always fills one with unbounded de-'
lisht (Once, while in the army. I
hacked down a few small cedars totfS.
firewood.) Uncle Jim immediately rot .
frin An ar anil nilntpd mp tn thn cmat
lnl.. .. Jl. ..A.W. ... t rn.mli...- I l I. at ........ BAA.B V
Most of the trees were four feet -iyS
diameter, and the undergrowth was as) ' ajQi
thirlr aa lliA nair nn a rlnfr ffoairlAd TSutT
ther wm an inft-icitn net-work of wild &-l
t : ..... tl... T43
grape riucs nuveu iu suiuu iUV inxs.
Uncle Jim said: "There my boy, amuse
yourself," and left me. c
After an hour's arduous toil I made'
a clearing around one of the largest
oaks, spit on my hands and sailed in.
I managed to get through the bark af
ter awhile, and sat down and gasped
for breath. I know now why a man's
ribs are built so substantially; it's to
keep the woo.lchoppers' hearts from
jumping through their breasts and
bouncing off into the woods.
When night came I had made a hole in
that tree about the sue of the fir3t cut
in a cheese, and I felt next morning as
if I had been run over by all the artil
lery and cavalry in the United States
I was three days in felling that tree.
I cut all around the confounded thing,
and then tried to push it down, but it
.stood there as firm as the proprietor of
a.pnc-price store. I went-to the house
and secretly got an old rip-saw, and
tried ,tjtat on awhile, but no go. An
pther hour's superhuman efforts with
the ax, however, made the stubborn old
fellow topple ,and track, and the next
instant he fell with a crash that shook
the 1 arth from Maine to the Gulf of
1 Mexico. It fell aero s a new, eight-
iMil fence, and killed a .caw that was
gnJing on the other side, killed her as
dead .is a cove oyster. I then sat down
oe a itiftup and shed the first solid
tear I had abed in sixteen year.'. To
think ,tkat I should toil and sweat and
swear for thref whole days Just to
knock $S0,o of eBJ Jear Uncle Jim's
I went sorrowfully to the house, and
when the old gentleman came in he
said: "Well, now . you getting
along" "Got that big tree down," I
replied. "Which way dj U fall?"
askod Uncle Jim?" "Downwards." I
answered, "and smashed ionr panels of
fencing and gave an old spotted .cow
such a rao that her cud flew fifty feet.
There's nothing saleable about her now
drinking at bars with hoodlums; ast j but her hide and horns; deHsct the
1 .Wanted Frivolums Voiing Men. 1
"It is no ue," a youag lady recently
remarked, despairingly, there are no
frivolous loen any more, and it i- quite
usele-s to try to have parties. Nobody
comes but the .-olemuly dudisli empty
brains that it gives one cold chifls
.-imply to look at. a id it one of the fel
lows that is reallj interesting does stray
into a ball or an as-embly he has the
.air of having made a dreadful mistake
sind he rets uwavs as quickly as pos-
ible. Evenbodv is so drcadfullv in
earnest either for working or being a
itp that there isn't a good comrade
left." The lhely young creature had
more to av " " m'" the same stvle
and to the same general purpose, the
burden of her complaint bcinr that
.there were no society men who su -mod.
-as she iphnised it, worth while, and
that tint individuals who nere really
worth arhile whatever that mysterious
formula may mean -could not be
dragged into those gay assemblies
whither tin; belles of tne town repair
to criticise each other's dresses and to
meet the opjxjMle sex. Ilosloii Courier.
Mr. Joseph Gregory, who lives near
Shochoh, in this oountv, is now about
thirty-live years old. Vhen he was a
Sad of ten 3 cars he was thrown from a
calf which be was riding, aud was so
badly frightened that his speech was
affected, and from that time to this he
has stammered badly, though previous
to then he was never known to have
any trouble whatever in his speech.
About ten days ago he was thrown
from a mule and severely bruised, but.
wonderful to relate, his words now fall
as smoothly as from the lips of a train
ed elocutionist, his stammering having
ceased with his fall from the mule.
Verily, thene's some good in a mule.
idvsn if he k a "bucker." EusstllcilU
smokintr cizars on their heats while on
dnty. The. New York poKaeaian snea.ks
around to a back door to get his smoks
and drink; but he has some style about
him when he walks his beat. Xtw Or
One of the Japanese students, while
ant for a stroll, was accosted by a
sophomore with the inquiry: "What's
yourasame?" The gentleman from Ja
pan answered politely, giving his sur
name. -.Oh," rejoined the questioner,
"you heathens don't have but one
name, I sea " "What was the first
name of Mose?" was the reply. Har
The Greely expedition cost the Gov
ernment $762,996. Wa don't want to
appear parsimonious aud mean in these
matters, .but couldn't it 'bo arranged to
starve a few men and freeze them to
death a little nearer home and at less
expense? A winter's sojourn in a
"spare room" of a Michigan farm
house would accomplish the -same re
sult, and rn'd learn just a much About
the North Pole.
A chamsjog young girl, accompanied
by her octogenarian great-grandmoth
er, who is ali that the name implies,
enters a Paris iry goods store. "How
much is- this rihbon?" she asks of the
polite young clerk, who has bounded
agilely" over several stools to wait upon
her. "A kiss a yard!" replies the
young masher gallantly. "Give mo
ten yards, tftrn. Grandma'll pay you
sh"e always settles tke bills when we
A Legal mind: Grandpa (trying to
be severe) Now, Mabel, tell .me why
you didn t put that quarter I gs.ve you
into the plate at church this jnoring.
I like to see a little girl give chcerfvlly
and not "let herrigTit hand know whs
her left hand ckusth." Incorrigible
granddaughter (who is saving the mon
ey for candv) That's just the trouble,
grandpa. My r.ght hand thought my
left was putting it in, aad so between
the two of them it didn't got put in af
ter all! Life.
I suspect that we underrate the Mon
gol. The CcIcitiaL with all his ignor
ance, has his share of shrewdness.
When some American capitalists were
endeavoring to get the consent f the
Chinese Mandarins to develop theeoal
fields of China, their answer was at
least not without diplomatic skill: "No,
we cannot permit it. First, it will dis
place the center of gravity, and the
world will tumble over; second, if it is
a good thing for you it is good for us."
San Franciico InglesidA.
A farmer in the eastern part of the
state missed a couple of his cows some
time ago, and a diligent search and no
tices in the county paper failed to
bring them to light. Yesterday, how
ever, while in the field, he notiivd a
hole in one side of the pumpkin, .and on
getting a lantern and goingin he found
the lost cows qtrietly eating pumpkin
seeds and getting fat. The hole in the
fruit was caused by the rapid growth
of the ines, which had dragged it
along over the ground for half a mile.
According to the Boston Transcript.
Boston is fast catching up with New
York in style. "Papa,'s said little
Henry, "there was a lady spoke toruo
on the street justnow." "How do jou
know she was a lady?" asked pa, quiz
zingly. "Oh, I know she was a lady,
pa, coz the hairpins were sticking out
of her head all around, and her hair
was all snarly, like Fiiio's! I heard
ma say that hair - combed smooth was
real vulgar, and no lady would have
Iuol ucau iirufc u usyuifis ai ftiiau usas
ras4dwitttahottop.T iWJU .
price ot tnoso and cnarge the rest to
!(5?cle Jim sank into a chair, leaned
his bed upon his hands, groaned dis
lTially, and sighed "Poor Spot!" Aunt
Susn ip.vijrea her face with her apron
and sbbc(l ."Poor old Spotty!" The
children, alsp set up -i wail of lamenta
tion. I was forced to go into the kitch
en aud takrf a smoke of the old man's
tobacco to hide my emotion. Presently
he came in and aaid.- "Well, there's no
use crying over spilled milk" (in this
instance it was spilltd milk sure
enough); "you can go right on and clean
off that timber, work the trunk up in
to cord-wood and fence-rails and the
tops into firewood, and we'll say no
more about it."
"No, Uncle," I feelingly replied,
"that would bo too slight a remunera
tion; you must receive a moro generous
reward. I'll send you my paper for
twenty-five years at 42 a "year." The
next morning I came home. There's a
coolness now existing between Uncle
Jim and me.
A Crow Indian Burial Platform. "
The influences of missionaries and
the agents has cansed the Crows of
Montana to pretty much abandon their
old practice of wrapping their dead up
in blankets and buffalo-robes and plac
ing them on rude scaffolding and to
adopt the civilized mode of burying
them in the ground. Many of the old
platforms still remain, however. The
traveler usually gives them a wide
berth on the windward side. When the
railroad was built across the reservation
the line ran right through one of those
curious cemeteries, on which was de
posited over a score of bodies in all
stages of decomposition, and the work
,mcn were obliged to turn grave-diggers
and dispose of the dreadful mass before
the,nd could be graded. Undoubted
ly, tiejstom of disposing of the dead
originated ;n the practical mode of put
ting them. 6y.t of reach of the wolves,
whtch dig up.bodies buried no deeper
than thclndiaas,Mwith their rude tools,
ctpuld readily place them.
A Oil lieu from War Back.
On lad Saturday a niau was in our
city from the wild mountains of North
Carolina. Long flow ng curls hung
down his bnck;every feature of his face
was hidden by the hair, which almost
lcompletely covered it; his finger nails
-ewere alj long, filthy and ttneared for.
,JBe had scarcely a human appearance.
For diversion's sake we began a con
vereiiion with him. He spoke with a
peculiar, unnatural grunting brogue;
said he Jived away up in a hollow ob
da moutitin; in da Kalina state. This
wa- his first visit to a town, here the
first brick house he ever saw, the first
negro, knew nothing of books and
newspapers. A man had told him of
"Gainesville town," and he set out to
hunt it. Had been "foiirsuns'Mn com
ing. Wo are convinced that there aro
some sections of our great and glorious
country that need the hand of civiliza
tion. Piedmont (Ga.) Press.
To get much for little is the real
quintessence of happiness. Much for
little has been the cry of Jew and Gen
tile for" thousands of years, and, to get
much for little, men sacrifice their for
tunes, their lives, and their sacred hou
or. On the one side to get much
money for little work and on the other
side to get much.work foytiMaajgrs
make most otikliEltiM&lM&weiAi