Newspaper Page Text
Springfield Globe -Republic
THK urUINGFIEL.I GTjOIlE,
Volumo IV. Numtoor 3l.
SPRTNGFIEID, OHIO, WEtDWESDAX EVENING, JAJTCTARY 21, 1885
TME HPUINOPIELT) REPCllTIC
OWEN, PIXLEY d. CO.
Ohio Valley and Teunesec: Fair, weather;
Ohio, partly cloudy weather; local rains or
now; Tennessee, generally warmer, variable
wind?, lower barometer
THIS ID THAT
Means n little f everything, and not
much of anjthlnjr. The lines we refer
to to-day are on this order broken
linc, lines that hate lost some of their
sizes, bargain goods.
I JTI IQ Suits, odds and ends of a
dozen or more lines and reduced in
price from $2.50, $-, $3 and $3..0
to an even two dollars, jour choice, is
onr way ofdoiog a SO per cent off busi
ness. ""l A T Line or odds from
I 1A I another shell (better
roods) reduced from $4, $1.50, Ac, to
$3 per Suit, are surprises to patrons
"JIQOne remaining Brown
I rilO Newmarket Overcoat re
duced from $15 to $12 will probably be
gone before you get the news.
PLI A T Mne. 0f Gray Melton
I riM I Overcoats at $5.00;
sizes left, SO, 7, 3$, 3!, arc Tar below
Pi 1 1 af Remnant line of Little
H 0 Kojs'SHk Plush Trimmed
Cape Overcoats, reduced from $13.00 to
$5.00 are made to sell this month, and
the $7.00 pressure put upon the
ought to attract.
which lu line was
Odd Suit or All Wool
material. size 37.
twas $1S, we make $10.
Ton mar call this charity ifjon like, we
callitadiertising. May be a little of
I n IO Striped Pants reduced
from two to one, are not so Tery cheap
as might appear on paper, still the pile
fl A. T Stack of $11 Brown
1 I Melton Overcoats has
lost some of its sizes, but quality re
mains the same. Would advertising
them as worth $15 make them anymere
J-IJIQ $10.00 Overcoat Table
I n I shows signs ot depletion.
Still there are many bargains to be
found among them yer. West entrance.
P"U A "p1 Line of Mufflers re
I n f I duced from 50c to 15c
shows a dead loss to the maker, but
they're better sold than kept. To the
pillg Line ot Children's Fancy
I Pi IO Handkerchiefs, two for a
nlckle, everybody buys,
next basket at a dime.
or from the
I n I less Half Hose you've
heard so much about, 10c per pair, and
six dozen left, and the next two pairs
for a quarter 10 dozen left.
TLIICBrokea line of Men's
I -Prfw-Swrt Gray mnNhed
Seam Underwear 50 for 40c, some
Shirts, some Drawers, none too many or
either. Then the Gray Shirts and White
Drawers to match at a quarter each.
f I A P Before making pnr
I n f I chases from the small
dealers' stock you should take into con
sideration our advantages- Manufac
turing our own Clothing, jobbing large
ly Furnishing Goods and Hats, and Re
tailing at Wholesale Prices.
ONLY ONE-PRICE CLOTHIERS,
Fighting in Progress.
The Emperor Better.
Another Cold Wave Coming.
A Statne ot William Allen.
Columbcs, January 21. The Legislature
adop'ed a joint resolution to-day to place a
statue of the Hon. William Allen in the hall
ot the old House of Representatives at
Wajhimgton, D. C.
Fighting In Egypt.
Loxdov, January 21. It is officially re
ported serious fighting occurred in Egypt'and
the result was satistactorj to Lord Wolseley.
Ko farther details have reached London.
Jamistows, Pa, January 21.-Savings
Bank has cloeed ; one of the officers missing.
Sullivan and Ujan.
Xiw York. January 21. Sullivan
Ryan struck each other to-day, and were
.separated by friends.
Tksston, N. J4 January 21. The Empire
ipottery and Ott & Brewer's pottery, two of
the largest in the city, took their nun back
'to work this morning at the old rates. It is
tunderstood that more manufacturers propose
(backing down and paying the old rates.
rect the arrest of gamblers, paying them with
his own money.
Senator Vance wn re-elected for North
Senator Call was re-elected by the Florida
The death of Mrs. Stanley
ti Flamen Ball, of Cincinnati,
Tuesday, aged seventy-six.
The Connecticut Legislature has elected 0.
H. Tlatt U. S. Senator.
Jonathan Chase was elected U. a Senator
by the Rhode Island Legislature.
The Miami Powder Company, of Xenla,
0.. has ordered a ten per cent, reduction in
the wages of employes.
The Legislature of Missouri balloted In
eeparate sessions for U. S. Senator. Vest was
the choice of both bodies.
A "faith hospital." operated by J. D. Ai-
bough, at St. Louis, has been diacovered full
of suffering and dying children.
A gambling house at San Antonio, Texas,
was entered by masked burglars, who gagged
the employes and robbed the safe of $4,000.
A lard-rendering tank in a pork-packing
house at Sioux City, la, exploded, killing
four men and demolishing part of the building.
rr Ruchanan. ot notoriety as an issuer of
bogus medical diplomas in Philadelphia, and
lately released from prison after incarceration
for that offense, has been again arrested on
the same charge.
It is reported that England will assume
sole government of and responsibility for
Lower and Middle Egypt, giTing Upper
Egypt to Turkey.
Four Italian and one French village were
overwhelmed by avalanches. Many persons
r,.. Willi. mt nn Yesterday, but
AJUipva va v i ... D a
was compelled in a short time to go
"loaned against mo warm, iremenaons
mouth" of the Mississippi. In the in
terest of sano poetry, it is a pity tho
mouth didn't open and take him in.
Gen. Dan Sickles, who lost his leg in
the late war, was asked by a waiter in
a restaurant how and when lie lost it.
Sickles says he replied: "Young man,
I lost my leg at tho battle of Bunker
Hill, aud don't you lorgci it.
At tho recent Woman's Congress one
lady remarked that "it's a nice thing
fnr a man to keep his mouth fit to bo
kissed." What has that to do with
woman suffrage? Is this a forecast ot
campaign tactics in tho halcyon future?
Tho Philadelphia Call explains why
there arc no lodges or clubs among tho
Mormons. "It is put of tho range
of possibility to! expect to find
eighteen or twenty wives all asleep
when the belated member gropes his
way up-stairs." '
Miss rrcttVPcrt-'Why don't you
conic over with your sister to our place
sometimes, Johnnie?" Johnnie (ris
ing 10) "Well, it's like this, y'know,
Mfss Prcttypert. Where there's a
riDDin nice girl like you.tt i came ouen
r . . vl .1.:..!. T I.... I inlontinno
Chicaoo, January 21. The merenry
dropped to a low point again last night, and
reports from all western points this morning
uniformly indicate very cold weather.
At Jamestown, Dakota, Iho thermometer
registers at 37 below; Winnipeg: 25 below;
Fargo 31 below; St. Paul 20 below; Omaha
14 bt low; Keokuk 9 below; Chicago 3 be
low. An Editor Burned Oat.
WhilisO, January 21. The residence of
Lewis Baker, Elm Grove, five miles fiom
tbi city, was totally destroyed by fire at an.
early bcur this morning. The tamil
is in the city for the winter. Loss, $15,000;
insured lor $10,000. Baker was recently
proprietor of the Register of this city, and on
February 1st takes charge of the St. Paul
Globe, ot -which he has bought a controlling
WisHikOTOX, January 20. Ses-atk Mr.
Plumb oflVreil a resolution asking the Presi
dent for certain information relative to the
unoccupied Jandtf la Indian territory.
Billrepoflftd: Providing for the validity of
certain land, patents.
CrMeVtloJ jjrr-ocntrd:. Hon. Joseph Ev
Brown, re-elected senator from C(orgia.
The inter-state commerce bill was then
taken up. b ut not disposed of.
House. Bills reported: Prohibiting iiliens
and foreign era from acquiring the title to ud
owning pu blic lands; relative to drawbacks
on articles ol wholly manufactured materials
imported a which duties had been paid
when exp crted.
The House then went into Committte ot
the Whole, and t iter the committee rose, ad
dresser, of eulogj on the life and character of
Hon. John H. Evans, of South Carolina,
were pronounce 1 by a number of members,
after which, as s . further mark of respect, the
Mr. narr Wagner, formerly of this city,
and now editor of "The Golden Era," maga
line, San Francisco , has brought out a book
ot "Short Stories," by "California autnori,
he being one of them. The book is intetert
ing and creditable, as a literary production.
The "Occidental Publishing Co," of Sa
Francisco, has brought out, in very elegant'
form, another book by Mr. Wagner, entitled
"Nature's Bywaya in California." ,
The Century, for February, has arrived;
180,000 copiss having been printed, to begin
with. It is the most remarkable issue of this
mazarine ever printed. It contains an illus
trated account of "the Battle ot Snilob," by
U. S. Orant; an article on "Albert Sidney
Johnston and the Shiloh Campaign," rom
the pen of Gen. Johnston'! son, William
P.-eston Johnston, and "Notes of a Confederate
officer at Sbiloh," by Thomas Jordon, and
a paper by Gee. Fitt John Porter.
These Renowned Pianos are kept
in all the different styles by
R. F. BRANDOM & CO.,
T'-t Kollv Arcade.
Corrected bt Cms. W. Patstek A Co.
Wednesday, Jan. 14, 1S85.
Beirut mc; choice warce.
Eoe- Good supply; IOc
Poultry Good demand; chickens. Tounr. 20a
30c; old, MiSSc each.
ArrLU-SOcWI 50 per bush.
roTATOEn 35a50c per bush.
bwKKT Potatous IliOalOOperbush.
Oabbaoe Dull. T5c a 11.50 per bbi.
Omom ?5cper bush.
Salt Snow-iUke brand, 11.30 per bbl.
Coal Oil IOaMX: per gl.
Meats Country cured meiU, lew la market.
Fine washed. 28i30c; unwashed, oS.
broAES A large demand and prices low; gran
ulaled, 7c per lb: "A" white, Sic per lb: extra C
light, 6Xc per lb; yellow C,Hc pfr lb; O, 6c
CorrKE Marke lower; Java, 2Qa30c per lb;
Rio, golden, 18a -0 per lb. Kio, prime green, 12a
15c per lb; kio.x union, 10c per lb.
rt YRCrs-40aS07Oc ir gal.
Molasses Se Orleans, UaS0c pergal; vorgham
Kick lieat Cirollna, 8,Sc jr lb.
OViTKR 25e perqt.
Dried ArPLKS 8 l-3c per lb.
Haiku Peaches 10c per lb.
Chick ns Drewed, Si.75 to $3.50 per dozen,
Dress " 12 75aS 50 per dot.
. Babbits It 25a! 50 par dox.
Raisins New lOatf) per lb,
CURRAMa w 7Jc r lb.
APi'Lfcs New hc e. lb.
I'm !! llale WSc; mixed 8'c per lb.
I'm NR4Sew Ic iwr lb.
Colcubct, January 20. Scsatc Bills
1 .A: House bill filing the time tor
ing member of school boards; Senate bill
aulborUing Zanesrille to erect a soldiers'
Bills introduced: Prohibiting sale or man
ufacture of oleomargarine; holding express
companies responsible for exact amounts of
money .vnt; amending section 3137 so as to
include ch 'I0 trm!S cldldren's homes among
those who m V be afop.'ed; authorising the
publication of .Ml"11 lwd M,e3 anddltch
notices in two pap"" ofeppite politics.
House-Bills pas iloaae biU definiDg
duties of county sum 7? ouse Dm 8ur"1
ing county clerks from ' tisoee recei"D
state documents: House further protect
ing the husband's courtesy ' n hls vl,e5
tate; House bill giving coi TOon Pleas Mme
discretionary poweis as prob ' courts ,n 0r"
dering sale of esUtes.
Bill for all ba.gings to taki ',ace at the
rLitentiarv Inal. nd tor extern Xing time for
taxes to January 10 and July 10
Mr. Littler's bill abolishing the
marshal in Springfield wa) lost.
The heavy rain and sleet did considerable
Umffe to fruit and forest trees in this,
Tlrbana and Mechanicsburg received the
first shipment of cheese frn the factoryin
James Redmond is now a citiien of our
town. He occupies the Clark house.
Thos. McKillip, from Mnncie, Ind, if visit
ing his brother Daniel.
The man who instigated the dog fight last
Sibbath says he will vote for "Santa Clause"
The surprise on Oscar and Susie Baker,
last Tuesday evening, was enjoyed by scores
of their most intimate friends.
n, niM is completing the Deanjire
property, which is situated in a very desira
ble place in this village. We hope that some
influential man will purchase that property
and move therein.
Nathan Marsh shipped seven car loads or
cattle to Buffalo, on Saturday.last: 96 bead
of them averaged 1,575 lbs. each. The cattle
were fattened by Mitchell k Roup.
Recollect that J. Fraak Engle, the gentle
manly and efficient Bee Line agent and
operator runs the express business to the ac
comawdadon ot his friends and the pubUc
Sunday school on Sabbath afternoon at 2
n m. Services on each iltamate Sabbath
people might think I. had
and I'm not a marrying mar
The total number of cigars produced
in tho United States is 3,000.000.000
annually. It make? o fellow awful sad
to think that ho can't smoke them all
or it would niako him sad were he not
aware that there are some 2,999,999.000,
more or less, that bo wouldn't smoke
under any circumstances. Boston
a Korwich man told a lady that he
would bo pleased to' spend .an. evening,
ot hnr house. She replied, that she)
would be verv glad to havohim do so,"
and further a'sked the young man to
rjall on Friday evening. She said she
would not be at., homo herself, but
mother and tho dbg would be thore.
"Algernon, lore, the doctor said
that I absolutely required a change. I
was forced to tell him you was always
lust run out of it whenever I asked you
for any. and that h was weeks since
you had given me a cent Them he
said I must need a great deal of change.
Ain't you ashamed, now?" But he
wasn't- Not one bit.
"Shall I sing 'When the robins nest
ntrain ' darlinjr?" she asked with a
sweet smile as she moved toward the
piano. "Yes, love" he replied. Then,
after a moment's pause, he added:
"Allow me to call your attention to the
fact that tho robins won't nest again
till next year." She did not tang,
sad he doesn't go there any more.
An Arizona sporting-man was re
cently inveigled into a church fair and
induced to try his hand at the wheel of
fortune. In half an hour he had all the
money in the bank and a mortgage on
the church. lie very considerately
gave them back the mortgage, and in
the future the church will choose its
victims with moro care. Puck.
A man in town receivea a note
Christmas, in which the writer thanked
him for some conscience money, which
i, cnmuunl thn man had sent. The
receiver of the letter wrote a note in
answer saying: "Your letter would be
correct but for two reasons, I never
had any money, and I never had any
conscience to speak pf." Lawrence
"When were the pyramids of Egypt
discovered?" asked the teacher. "In
at the foot of the class. "What do you
mn hvthe middle aires?" further
Monkeys soon make friends with
other animals and are cunning enougli
to make other animals do them a ser
vice. They resemble man in this re
spect, whatever else may be said about
the likeness. And we fee from what
Undo Bob has told ui that a m.mkey
can be taught to do almost anything,
and. if at all kindly treated can be
trained much more quickly than any
other creature. There is a story of one
that used' to walk hand in hand with its
master within a month after it came
into his possession. It would answer
nis call like a serv.int. It was honored
as a guest and had a seat at the table.
It would drink tea or milk out of a
cup, and help itself to an egg or to
bread or meat, and it lifted what it
wantod with tho right hand.
A Fiench traveler named La Vail
lant, who went through Africa became
interested in a chacma monkey, one of
the baboon species, that he Rot at tho
Cape, and which was very useful to him
in his wanderings, lie niauu um "
key, which he called Kees, a sort of
"taster." That is to say, when ho
came to a place where there were nuU
and berries of a kind he had not seen
before, he offered them to Kees. If the
monkey ate them the traveler would do
the same, and anything the monkey
would not touch, the traveler, unless
when he knew better, would avoid as
poison. Kees was of value also during
the night as' well as at meal times. Ho
was the sentinel of the camp. Ho was
alert and gave the alarm at the slight
est sign of dauger. Even the dogs
misted to the monkey.'s watchfulness.
When the party began its journeyings
it was the duty of tho dogs to give
warning when there was any iruuuu.,
but inhume they put such confidence in
Kees that they went soundly to sleep at
every resting place. With monkeys, as
with men, "onegooa ium unenra an
other," and so Keeai tired out with
walking, would now and again leap on
the back of one of the dogs, and get
carried in this way for miles at a
stretch. All the dogs did not like this.
There was one of them that would not
on any account be made a horse of; and
this one took a very cunning way of
getting freed from his rider. He could
not prevent Kees jumping on his back,
but he could do this he could refuse
tr. tnnvA Aa soon as the monkey leap
ed on him he stood perfectly still. The
camp being In motion the aog ana nis
would-be rider were speedily left be
hind.' K-ea would keep his seat, think
ing, no doubt, that the dog would
change his mind and trot after his com
panions before they had disappeared.
But the dog knew better. As long as
he felt himself burdened he would not
move an inch, and it was always Kees
that had to give in. When this took
place the two animals would set off at
their best speed to overtake the travel
ing party. It was liko a race between
the two, but the dog took care to keep
second place, so that the monkey
ntrrht nnt strain have the chance of
as though ho would handle a o'ZSi
like a joy forever. The horse had never
been bitched to a buggy before, but lie
behaved liimelf tin- best ho knew how.
He looked around at the buggy and nt
the man in it as much as to say: "Boss,
this may bo all right, but it is a mean
trick to play on a cavalry horse. How
ever, if you can tell me what you want
me to do. I'll do it or bust a trace."
He didn't understand the pull of the
reins, and wo had to get out to turn
him around. Ho rubbed his noso on
our shoulder and looked out of his eyes
as though ho would ask if he had done
ri"ht so far and seemed to say: "I havo
bTen prepared for anything since I left
the Confederate service from a thousand
mile raid on short rations, to a race
with a Quartermaster's mule, but 1 had
never expected to come to this, and a
tear seemed to linger on his eyelid as
he put his nose in his master s shirt-bo-om
and snorted some of his foam
On returning to tho town a company
of cavalry were drilling on the plain,
and just then an idiot with a bugle be
gan to blow a call and the cavalrymen
started ncross the plaza in company
front- That settled the buggy ride.
"General Grierson" started off on a
run, bugy and all, and wheeled in
front oATie third platoon, three paces
in front, right where he knew there
oiK'ht to be a Second Lieutenant, and
turned his eye to tho right to dress on
the other platoon commanders. The
rear of the buggy was breaking up tho
ranks of the platoon, and wo were
never so embarrassed in the world.
The Captain yelled to us to get out of
the wav, an orderly rode up and took
the ol'f grey bv tho bit, and then it oc
curred to the horse that the buggy was
in the way. and he began to kick it to
pieces. The cross bar and dashboard
were kicked over into the platoon, and
he was just pulverizing the running
"ear and box when a dozen men grab
bed him and we crawled out from under
thn urnwL- and when we eot out the
horse had turned around facing us,
with the shafts still hitched to him, and
he was trying in his horse-sense way,
to tell us what he thought of a caval
ryman that would appear on duty in
such a way, and bring reproach on a
good, honest, well-brought-up horse.
The company stopped drilling to laugh,
broke ranks, and. went into the
Monger House at our expense, the livery-man
took his bugy back on a dray
and the writer paid for the buggy, put
on tho saddle again and rode away, and
the old horse, when we got into the
road turned his head and nibbled the
rider's boot-leg and winked as much as
to say: "There, boss, this is something
litn it. This is the wav we used to do
in the Confederacy. Buggy riding
makes me sick. JPeci's Sun.
MURPHY dfc BRO.
BALANCE OF OUR STOCK OF
inmninir nn his back.
Thore is a very pretty story of the
monkey in an ancient Hindoo poem.
The monkeys, we aro told, were once
employed in a great comest u auuiu,
between good and evil powers; and it
Ja something to know that the monkeys
were on the right side in the dispute.
In the end the good powers won. Now,
during the struggle the chief monkey
performed what may seem at nrst
sight a very courageous act. He made
his way into the garden of a very terri
ble giant, and took therefrom the fa
mous mango tree and gave it to India.
rsnnnninr such an act had been the
T XI .
Little Daniel' First Kssny.
a W..ur WQ
questioned the pedagogue. "Why; the WOrk of a human being, we coum noi
. , t -..i Tk.W .U.1..I o!n tnn mncli tn reward the
rjvramiaai ages, oi imuhc -j -imua m ,.-.. , .
WIT AND HUMOR.
IfXWS SOT KB.
Hon. J. M. Hoyt. of Cleveland: Kev.
Rhode, Cincinnati; Hon. George O.
bnrn, of the Elyna Republican; Judge .
lett; Governor Hnadly and ethers addres.
the Ohio Divorce Reform LeaRne, at Coloi
bus, Tuesday. Rev. Dr. Washington Gla
den offered resolutions askng of the Legis
lature "to expunge from the statute that
indeterminate clause by -which divorce is
granted for 'gross neglect of duty,' and to
forbid bj statute the iacoe-diate marriage ot
the guilty partuer in nees of ditorcej to
provide counsel for def.jndnnt in rases where
proper; that cases in which collusion ij u'S
covered be dismissed from court; and asking
fi r a commission. Bishop 'KedelL aj elected
presideut, and lit. Paul Sterllap. of New
The House Cttomittee. on Jadiefary will
report a bill ptOTidiBg for tlir pvyment of
$5 C50 to Jofca O. Thompson tt reimburse
him for eipeajes incurred in ilia trial of the
Kilbourne-Tbompar .n ease.
William M. En rta was eS:teE senator in
J the Sew. York !egMatur). Tuiuday. Vote
I in the House. Et.-arls. 73: Cooneri 52; in the
'. . r. - ... TA.... n.M-
SMiats, nraras, iu; uocpen i uu v.u.
ron. KM re-J ected senator fromi PennsjUa
nia Tuesday No prograes wu. nade in the.
election oft B senator in Illinois..
General: Fit John Parter. Folliee Commif-
sionerofJ ew York, has put oVuctives from
Newark, 2 . J., at worbatruai.u-n and di-
O, ay can you we by the 6feilT "j".
What j ou farted to perceive .he twiugni
A JgfVSSSl that thresh" the Ion,
O-erlte bed where you slept was o aanctly
The jillk patches so fair, .
Hound, thrc-roroci and KOSje. ,,, u
Give proof that the lunatic bed-qullt m
O. the craz'y-qullt mania triumphantly ra-ve.
And maid, wife, and widow are bound aa
"There's a good tme coming, hoys.
So aay the -wlw men; .
But if they're riirht. will some of them
Please specify Just when?
The cartoon, now figures prominen V
ly. The car-tune is.'OTourfarc, please,
U a two-whc-eled vehicle is a bicycle,
.and a three-wheeled a tricycle, to what
,wele does tho wheelbarrow belongr
A woman at Pekin, EL. has finger
jiaik an inch long. Her husband goes
creeping around as if .i was walking
The conductors on street-cars m
Mexico alwaycarry roTtlvers. rona
bly thev want -to shoot tfao fares after
they have knocked them down.
It is well enough to permit people
lUo keep on discenng gold mines.
Kten you are asteu iu uu, .v- - -time
for you to close your e" eye.
Sf'.roil iree rress.
is at the head "how- That is to say, he
is earning board and washing in a bar
ber shop. I'onters Statesman.-
"Johnnie, have you been fighting?"
gravely inquired Sirs. Jarphly. "No,
mam," answered the heir of tho Jarp
lys. "John Schermerhorn. how dare
yon tell me an untruth!" exclaimed his
mother. "Where did you get that
Li.-i. .. oiS" T traded another
boy two front teeth and a broken nose .
forit, repueu iiuuuuio, w.- .
the wood-pile. Pittsburg Chronicle.
"How is it you never marriea, tnar
lief" "O, I don't know, except I re
mained single from choice." "Why.
I heard that you tried to get that Fodg
kins girl a year or two ago." "Yes. I
did ask her to marry me." "And she
would not havo your' "That's about
the size of it. So I remained single
from choice her choice, you know.
When Mrs. Oleo. the boarding-house
mistress, was tola mat, me mapcuwi
of provisions had seized 468 pounds of
Teal, ninety-two pounus oi poiuiry,
fifty-two pounds of bear meat, thirty
seven lambs, six barrels of peas, and
200 boxes of herring, she remarked:
"Pretty good appetite; but nothing to
some of my boarders. You'd ought to
see them when they're good and hun
gry." A farmer who had engaged tho ser
vices of a son of the Emerald Isle sent
him out one morning to harrow a piece
ofcround. Me nau uonwi.s
vfe.M nfl-irlv all the teeth came. out of
the harrow. Presently the farmer
went out into the field to take notes of
the man's progress, and asked him how
he liked the work. "Oh!" he replied,
it goes a bit smoother since the pegs
come out!" .
"Do you think his disease incurable,
doctor?" "He is a poor man. isn t
he?" Hasn'f got a dollar.' "Yes;
tnedicino won't do him any good now.
"He has a rich uncle who has agreed
to ay all expen " "Excuse me, if
.. ni, internintcd tho physician.
wiwin" his hand. "Never mind about
the ricL uncle. As I was saying when
vou interrupted me. I don't think med
icine will do him any good, but I never
give up a patient nnt.l he u dead.
The Secret Out at -Last.
hero of it for his pluk and bravery.
Tti, tlin nni-m does not look at the mat
ter in this w ay. The monkey stole the
tree, and although what was done was
of benefit to the land, it was a crime
and a sin and it had to be punished.
Up to this period the nionkcyhad olean
hands and a lean face, but because of
hfs offense in robbing the giant his
hands and his face were blackened, and
black they remain to this day.
Passed Sentence on
i, man who paid the plumftcr $500
Ait at.. n f all sTaTf
fo TtfiaiUUK iuu nw
u i .iA whrin
hi. ''""so .r,u:r" " m,vdid the
san K without "charging him a Pn-
ny..r l!is,"said the Kentucky .man.
..We Up a cow, and also-have a, well
J.ako the punches wttfaout
"m,.0, ,i.know. and a cow can get
XnV waEont Water.-PAfce"
Vbusli tal wuth, confronted with &
contin" on ey'dl mvit.g to "?
conuu0 j , "wm heard to ie-
olu man ."" ,- ,,,. Uea
most- ... , ..
A Brooklyn maa s?m some, -. --
"? ?PC -a.V? It rrf. fo7l.75
to wevuuuiu- -- -fv
Times. . .
Miller professes to f-
Sprockles and De Young were both de
"f . . i. -.. ti,n Mf.n for the time
votea to uui, uu "" '" :- ,
seemed to bo about even, although
Soreckles really had the advantage
After the battle for the heart had pro
eressod for some time, it is stated that
gprecklcs partially ?-ve up the fight
and then publich declared on the
street that it cost Do oung 81,000
.1. f .Immnn.ln for tllO SUllleS Ot
win mi w ........ ,
.i..ni1rmin' Kate, which were be
stowed on him for nothing. This corn
in to the cars of De Young, he set to
work to secure a number of love letters
that Spreckles had written, and he
sent word to the young sugar king that
he proposed to publish them. At that
tirao the Chronicle began its bitter war
on the sugar monopoly, and Spreckles,
thinkinc the love letters wouiu mjuu uo
nublUhed. shot at and attempted
kill Do Young, in order to put an
to tho entire war.
"That policeman ought to arrest him
self and take himself to tho station
house," said a gentleman from Mis
souri as he sprang backward to avoid a
lurching bluecoat who was taking up
the entire sidewalk on a side street.
"You may laugh at tho idea of a man s
arresting himself," he continued, when
he and his companion had watched the
vr.nMvUl nolirpm.in disarmear around
the corner, "but I'vo known of judges
.:..,- ihnmcnlrM often out West.
Down in Southern Missouri, where I
came from, we had a judge a few years
Ago who divorced himself. It happen
ed at Lalla, Mo. His wife was getting
a little old and faded and the judge
wanted a younger companion, lie
made life very uncomfortable for her
and she went to pay a visit to a sister.
The judge immediately took advantage
of her absence anu meu jju..."..
his own court charging his wife with
desertion. The uise came up in about
& month afterward, and ho announceu
his intention of trying the case himself.
His wife, for some reason, did not con
test, and the judge granted himself an
"Soon after the war Judgo V llson.ot
Shannon County, killed a man ma
quarrel over a horse. At the judges
request he was indicted for murder in
the first degree. The case was imme
diately called for trial. Wilson an
nounced he would sit upon tho case
himsfilf. which he did. If anything, all
his rulings were against his own inter
est, and he acted very fairly all through
the trial. .The evidence all went to
show that he had committed the deed
s olf-ilofonai. and hewas acquitted.
""''here was another queer old judge
named Armstrong. He was a very
large man, with a very high opinion ol
himself, but he knew very little law.
ii mnri nilincr one dav which the
ProsecuUng Attorney disagreed with
and a heated argument ensued between
the two. . . ,
" 'There is no such decision as that
justified by law, and a judge who has a
. i i i..M;n. ttrmilil nntmTfl
erain oi icgai icaiu.u -.-. o---
?..i - .i:V. ' .;! thn nttornev.
My little boy, Dan, had to write an
nss.iv last week. The teacher of the
school which he attended (under pro
test) believes in little boys writing es
says so that when they get to be men
and havo to write important articles or
letters they will know how to do it- So
Dan's turn came to him and he came
to mo and said: "Pa. w hat's a good
chinnf fnr 'n'pssav?" I thought a
moment and then remembering the ex
periences of my younger days, and how
hard it was to write those 'ame com
positions in my time, I said:
"Dan, if you will go up in the gar
ret in the lower drawer of the old bu
reau you will find some essays that I
wrote when I was a boy, and maybe
you can learn something from them.
Don't copv, my son, but take several of
them andread them over and then
state the ideas in your own language.
I thought I had done weiL Dan
said no more about the essay. But,
ah, the cyclone was hatching.
Icsteruayi receiveu a uum ..
Dan's teacher. It began:
Mr. Daniel Smith. Sr.: Inclosed you will
And an essay which your son presented lasi
I read no farther, but unfolded the
larger paper, wondering if genius could
be inherited, and if the Smith family
was to continue famous in literature.
This la the most bnufulhst aeaapn of the
that 'is whr thev put a Burr on two the end of
the word, tho hand-organ man
48 & 50 Limestone.
"v " V " -,,. r 1 U-w. a
now. the bors is tno useiuuer aniiuiu -eow
but wimin hadlnt ot to be paldo ao much
for teacLIn aa men. My father new a women
wunso who naa iais nare anu miu "-
glace I an a wooain ieir nur namo w u j.
ow Bho could lye. this is all 1 no about apring
but like patrick henry whogoea , to number 7
"give me llburty or give me detb.
"sale on aale on"
"thou ahlp of Mate."
I smiled, and was about to shove the
essay into my pocket, when I thought
of the letter, and picking it up read it
through. It continued:
I have suspended him and he cannot re
turn to the school until both he and yourself
BDOlogizo for tho language contained In this
elgay" MUa F. C. Jones.
It had all como back to me. Dan
had evidently gone through the whole
file of essays and also read a few pri
vate letters, and this was the result-
And his teacher was the very identi
cal woman about whom I had written
so sarcastically to a mutual friend.
What to do I did not know. The alle
gations were of adamantine truth and
could not be retracted. So Dan goes
to another school now, and when com
position day comes he takes his pencil
and paper and carves out his own es
say and does not get any ideas from
his father. Well, no; not if the under
signed knows it-
Das'l Ssirrti, Se. (parent).
Society and the Girl.
Professor J. C Cram, of Decrheld,
3T. H., is now keeping his 340th sing-ima-school,
being in his fifty-first year
ofiea-cMn'g. He has sung in the church
choir lifty-Jive years, and has taken
charge of tho singing in tho church lor
.,k o mlincr ' and the attorney.
4. .v iitl slivster.' roared
judge, 'for a cent I would throw this
law-book at your head.'
" 'H you did you would throw away
more law than you ever had iuyour
head,' retorted the attorney.
"This was more than the judgo could
stand, and he got down from the bench
and wiped the floor with the attorney.
Then he climbed back on the bench and
said: . .
.. xti. nrk. nlease enter a line
against me for 50,' and he paid it on
the spot." Sew York Telegram.
An Old Cavalry Horse Objects
When at the closing of the war we
were stationed at San Antonio, having
little to do, we determined to enjoy a
burgv ride. We had a great big. good
natured horse that had followed us
from far Alabama, a dapple grey, with
flowinir mane and taiL and it did seen:
A young woman in St. Louis who re
cently ran away from home to enter
...An', lifo nf shime cave as an ex
cuse for her conduct that she could not
earn a living as a music teacher and
she was too proud to earn her bread
with the labor of her hands in a town
in whose society she had lived as a
ladv. ,. .
It is evident that something is wrong
with society or with tho girl, or with
Knti, a nr'iila which revolts at manual
labor and willingly embraces disgrace
is something altogether too common in
this day, though ft is very rare that we
find any ono who confesses to its pos-
session. A great many men uji ""
brought to ruin in the same way,
taking different paths it may be, but
hinrrVncr nn at the same place, lhe
girl Tn question appears to have chosen
degradation with a great deal of delib
eration, and it is probable that in her
weak and disordered intellect she found
justification for her conduct-
tt -11-1- I .l.Aniaf..l mtSStpn IS
tier ioousii aim u.mv.. ;7C,.,
not to bo palliated, but responsibility
does not rest with her alone. She is a
victim of tho crazy idolatry of riches
and contempt of honest toil which have
become enthroned in "society, w hen
society becomes a more rational thin
than it now is and when money will
not pass current in it unless fortified
v.. .. c.icn -mil merit we will
UJ, wj. -v... -- -- - . . .,,,
navo icwcr such csraiiau" . ---j
girls and money-getting men. Society
Seeds a reorganization. Chicago Herald.
you see our assortment
Can You Do It?
Last night the cutting winds seemed
to blow direct from the Polar regions.
Vine street was almost deserted and
only a few whose business teP- tnena
out were seen walking at a rapid gait
to their several p.aces of destinaUon.
A reporter was slowly sauntering
through the streets in his midnight
wanderings with his big ulster Button
ed ti"bt around him. and his sealskin
cap pulled down over his ears, when
his attention was attracted to & P'Jf?
of swell society gentlemen, who had
been out for a night of it. "I bet you
$50," said one of them to a companion,
"that you cannot drop a nickel from
your eye into a funnel five tiroes in suc
The proposition was immediately ac
cepted, when the party stepped inw
Billy Gmbcr's. A funnel was procur
ed, and placed with the small end run
ning down the waist of tho gentleman
trousers. A nickel was placed on nis
left eyelid with the other one closed.
Ho slowly bowed his head and the
nickel fell into the funnel. "Once,
cried out tho friend with whom the
waer had been made. The second
time the feat was successiuuy accom
plished. As the third trial was about
to be made his friend accused him ol
having an eye open. "No. indeed. I have
not," was the reply, but before he had
completed this assurance the eml
emptied a pitcher of ice water into the
"A bottle of wine, and as much more
as they want," said the man as he
hastened to the Emery Hotel, whence a
messenger was dispatched for dry
trousers, etc. Cin. Com. Gazette.
It is an acceptable theory that no
man knows how to carry a baby, and
that every woman does. The nrst
proposition is correct, I guess; but the
second is only partly so. Somoof the
girls were highly successful in the un
dertaking. Thoy encircled the pulpy
mass with their arms as though born to
the service, snuggled it to theirbreasts,
made pretty snoots at it. chirped it in
to good humor, and altogether perform
ed instinctively like mothers. But there
were others, of whom I was disgrace
fully one. who displeased the subject so
thoroughly that it screamed, kicked,
and endeavored to burst all the blood
vessels in hU puggy. purple face. I
!... onH tiiore vowed that I would de
fer the acquirement of culture in baby
tending unfd such time as the
knowledge should become of practical
value. Clara Belle in the Cincinnati