Newspaper Page Text
THE DAILY CAIRO BULLETIN
Mayor Ilcjiiry Winter.
IViumivr 11. K. I'arkur.
Clerk-J. II. I'hlllla.
Counselor Win. H. (iilbcrt.
JMfr1ml I). Arti-r.
Attorney W. IJ. .MHiee,
Folic AlaKlslrale-J. .1. Illrd.
HOAIl!) r Al.liKHXKS.
First Ward-di-n. Yih.uih. Win. O't'allnhnn.
Heromt Ward-Wood Jtliienliuuse, N. II. Thistle-
'l'lilrcl Wiird-W. I'. WrlL'lil. John Wood.
Hourtli Ward-f barb's . I'ntler. I). .1. Foley.
Killh Ward-T. W. Ilallldiiy, Urn. Lancaster.
rirfilt .luil-.- (). A. Ihirk'-r.
:in uit Clerk-J. A. It' mca.
C:miiv JiiiIuii It. S. Yucuin.
.'fin 11 ty ('Ink- S. J. iluiiiiii.
County AttornvT -W. C. Mulk'1;'.
Couiilv Treaeiit'r--A. J. Allien.
Ntl'Tlli -John Hoill K.
Cormier -It. K)U'.''Tti.i.. t
County Coiiimii-a'oi.er---':'. W. Il:i!llilay, JI. V
Jlniwti. Samuel llrlley.
KIM' 'AN M. I.'.-Kiii iteeiiih street, between
W:ililand Ci (hr Heel. ; riee- riWiitlu 11
a. ui. and ";:) p. in.; Nulichiy s. Imol 1 : M p. In.
CIIII.'KI'I N- Kl.'lili'inlii street; ineetin Sab-
bath lu:.i i). in.; r iieliliia (M-eusloiielly.
'IH'Itt II OK Til K lr:i)KKMKH-iKilroiml
J Fourteenth xlr'l; .Mnrniiii.' prayers (Nihbuth)
11 ::s0 it. in.; i-wiilni! pruyerc :: ni.; Subbatu
srhool V a. 111. lief. M. J.'lliilolll.ee. Kul lor.
IMItST MISSIONARY HAITI ST CiUlK 'II.
I1 I'n nhii.' ul ln;:s. in.. Hp. in., nii't 7:W V-
Sabbath iMiiOol al p. in. Id-v. T. J. Shores,
Jt'TIM-.l: X Thirteenth street; mtuc-s Snb
J hut (i 11 a. in. and 7: ill p. in.; Mm. lay ri.lmol 'J a.
in. Kef. ifm .- Uimt. n:.Mor.
MKTIIoKIsT - Ci.r. Kiiiliili and Walnut streets ;
I'reaclilni! S 'M.nlh lu.il) a. in. and 7 p. III.;
t.rayer mieiini;. WYdu.sila 7:l p. m.: Sunday
School. , p. III. Itef. A. 1'. Murri-on. pastor.
)r;r.sliYTKliIAN -Klu'lith tr""t: pru. kin? on
Mabhaih nt ll:iw a. m. and 7::mp. m.; prayer
merlin'' Wedu'rdar at "-. p. in. ; Sunday Si liool
ut 3 p. Bi. itiv. U. V. Uejtc, pastor.
CKCONI) FKKKWM.I. HAIT1ST-Kineetih
O street, between Walnut and Cedar alreta; aer
vice sabbath at S and !: p. m.
ST. JosKl'll S-dtuman tathollri Comer Crn
and Walnut streets; senriees Si'ihath ll):)na.
m.; Sunday S h;il at t p. m.; Vesper !' ru.; ser
vices every day al 8 p. m.
ST. I'ATItlcK'R lloman Catholic) Corner Ninth
street and Washington avenue; a.-rvice Sub
oath 1 and in a. ni.; VeaK-rs :i p. m.: Hnudsv s hooi
J p. m. ; ferfitM every ('.ay al s p. III. Kev. r . abel.
i KNEItAL IHM.IVKUY open . ::) a. m.; cloxea
J ti:3u p m. : Suuda : to H a. ni.
Mouey Order Di parlment opeu al 8 . ru.; rlof-i
''Thruu'tt Kipra Villi via lillnoi ( entrnl and
MlMiMinpl Outral IUIIroaiUi-1 at l-J.'Wp. in.
Cairo and l'oplar Bluff Tbrouh and Way Mail
rl'Mwa at 12::VJp. m. . ...
Wav Mail via llllnolt Central. Cairo a ad Mn-i-ennea
and Mi.aip;)i Central itallroads doe at
J Way Mail lor Narrow (iauge Railroad cloaca al 8
Cairo and Kftnv!tle Hiver liouto cloea at fi::W
p. m. daliy frept Friday .
ILLINOIS ChMUAL 11. li.
TUAtST LEAVE OUfiO
11 41p m IHv
1:10 p. m lily
4)a.m exit'pt Sunday
i:i) p. ui.... except Sunday
AIIUIVK AT CAIUU
4:00 a m IHy
.' ilip.m except Sunday
H10 a.m. ...except Monday
;S0p.m except Sunday
JAMF.S JOHNSON. General Ajeut.
Nail at. ...
CAIRO & ST. LOUIS K. li.
II. W. 8MITJIKHH. Itec-oivpr.
SHORTEST SHORT LINE BETWEEN
CAIRO AND ST. LOUIS.
Throng Kipreaa leavta Cairo
Thronnh Kxpreaa arrlvca at E. Mt. I.ouln
ThroBKh Kipreaa leavua K. Kl. Luuis...
TuroBSD txpreaa arrive i r
. . . ..1.... lu....a rlr. 4 .'.n m
. f : I Tj p tu .
JiurpuyaoiiroaccMmnnFuiiwu - y-r
MuphyaWo Acc.arrlvej at Murphyboru J P n.
JlnrpbTatMro Ace. leave Murphynboro. . . 5:p m.
MurpUyaboro Acc. aiTlvea at Cairo 14 5j p.m.
The Cairo ft SI. Lonla Hall Road l the only all
Hail Koutc between Cairo and St. Loula under one
manaReinent. turefore ther" are no delava al
way alatiima avtaltinx connnctloni" from other line,
float and aure conncctlou al St. Loul vtllh other
line for Noith. Kaal and Went.
J. A. NAl'(LK. L. M.JoriNS(N.
Ai;cnt. General Manaijer.
CAIRO VINCENNES R.R.
..V 74L (M I r .it. i. 1 1 i
hi IfTT PCi THE SHORTEST ROl'TK TO
Ul JllliriO KvanBTiUe.
i 7 UTT "PG THK snORTEST TO LOI IS
4i XllhViO VII.I.K. CINC1SSATI, BAL-
VIMOItK AND WASHINGTON.
'il VTTVQTHK SHORTEST TO INDIAN;
4 UlLrik AFOU3,t'HILADKLrUIA,NKW
VOIIK AND 110STON
SIX HOURS SAVED
Om tralaa of all other routca maltlaa tbo lame
Mr" ravenfe-fr" by other rottK-a to mako connec
tion inui-t rlO n'l nlrfht. waltlut; from one to alx
hoirw at nimll I'ountr.v alatlotia for trolnn or n
REMEMBER", . train, reachlnii Evaua
llle, IndlanapolU. ClncliiBHtl and Loulnvlllu name
day. Tralua leave and arrlvt at Cairo an follo:
MaiUav 1 '
Mu1 arrive Uliiwp.m.
TbroBijU tlckota onil checkn to all luiporlatit
Gun l I'aaa. Agent. Guueral Sup t.
L. B. CHURCH. TanaiMiKor AKenL
CAIRO CITY FERRY CO.
thhee !bdESa-L states.
l m-2?j sue-
. r taW
' .. 'i ,
LKAVBa lavh LiAvaa
Foot rourl hat Mlaaottrl I.uud'R. Kentucky I.il'g.
r " . '
8 a. m d;30 a. m. un. m.
10 a.m. 10:30 a.m. 11 a.m.
9 p.m. :30 p.m. 3 p.m.
4 p.m.. " 4;: p.m. S p.m.
Corner Twelfth Street.
E. A. 1JURNETT, Pkovhiktok.
Of all descriptions to order at
ITU L I XG
To Oi ilcr on Short Xotico.
Letter Heads, 10 and 12 Pound
Note Heads, 5 and 0 Pound
Bill Heads, Hand Hi Pound
Statements, 5 and 0 Pound
Bills Lading 10 Pound
ALL t'IRdT-CLASS PAPER.
Envelopes, Tags, Cards
ALEXANDER COUNTY BANK,
Commercial Avenue anil Eighth Sircct,
F. DROSS, President.
I'. NKKK, Vlco Creaidctlt.
II. WELLS, Cunbler.
T.J. KKK'MI, Aaalftunt Caobler.
F. Urmn, Cairo:
I'uter Neff. Cairo;
C, M . OHterlob,
K. lluder. Cnlro;
William KIulv, Cairo;
Wlllluin Wolf, Cairo;
K. I. llilliiiKMley, St. Louie;
J. Y. Ck'niou,'Ctt!cdouia.
A GENERAL IlANKINIi ItCSINESS DONE. Kx
chanire aold and bouubt. lutereHl paid in the
havlliKH Dcpurtment. Collectinim inuuu and all
bualneaa promptly attended to.
JNTEHI'IUSE SAYINGS BANK,
. CburU-mil Marvli 31, lli(i(.
OFFICfc IX CITY XATI0XAL BANK,
INTEREST paid on depoain Mnrch let and Sop
teinber Ut. Intere-t not withdrawn l added im
mediately tn the princlpul of the. depoiti, thereby
Iflvm them compound luterei-t.
C-iy Children (a ltd married women may deposit
lunitey and nooue rise mu draw It.
WALTER HYSLOP. Theasuker.
rpiIE CITY NATIONAL BANK,
W. P. HAI.LIDAT, Preaident.
II L. II A I.I.I DA Y. Vice Prealdeot.
a. trim uric. w. p. HALLnur.
BiKIir L. HAIAinAT, H. H. CUNNINOUAll,
. u. wiu.uiiso.1, mruiN bihu,
U. H. CAXUKK.
xchanire, Coin and I'uited States Bonda
IlOl'GHT AND SOLD.
Deuoeiti received and a reneral bankinz bnalneaa
WHOLESALE WINKS AM)
F. M. stw kfletli.
Stockfletii Su lROSS,
Sacccaaon to F. M. Stockfleth,
liiiloi toiu and 'NVholaale dfalei'Bln
Foreign and Domestic
LIQUORS AND WINES,
Rhine. KelW Island. Catawba. California and Im
ported Port, Sherry, Madara Wines and Clara-
NO. 82 OHIO LEVEE, CAIRO, ILL.
Wholesale and Retail Dealer Id
Foreign and Domestic Liquors
Wines of all Kinds,
NO. 00 OHIO LEVEE.
MESSRS, 8MYTII CO. have constantly i large
stock of th bust roods In th market and irlve
especial attention to the wholesale Vauch f the
NEW MEAT MARKET.
Hiirnof the tlulfiio Dead.
NoL?,r . Cairo, 111.
K0KHLER BROS., Proprietors,
A full and fompleto snnply of the best "f"
kinds meat always on hand. Order filled at
hour, day or night,
DMISWTHATUirs NOTICE. "
isTATinr w. ii, wit.rox, dkcraskr.
The undersigned, having been appointed. Adtnl";
Istrutorsuf thsestato of W. II, WllcoSt. lettr or
thecounly of Alexander and staUl of Illinois, uf
caused, hereby give nolle that they will appear W"
lore the comity court of Alexander enmity; al
roiirl-hotisn In Cairo, at the May term, on ti"
third Motiduv In May next, at which llm" '
Rerson having clulnis against said estate an1 ijn''
ed and requested to attend lor the purpose of Hv.'
lug the same adjusted. All persons Indebted to ''''
estate are ni)iteatud to make limnedlnio pa) nient i
the undersigned k .
Dated this imh tlajf of February, A, I). 1TH.
KI.ORENt'K. A WILCOX. AdmlnlstrairlJ.
ALFRED WILCIA, Admlulstrntor.
MORNING, MARCH 8, 1879.
,. . Reei.i.kvie, Ky.
Dn.il. It. Sti;vknm ;
D''rHlr, I mmt Plato that your Vesetimi de
erve to be called avnlnuble blond pnrlller, reno
vator Hd nvli!orntor of the whole nvatein. .Mv
wife "Ull'ered for a lenijtli of time w ith Scrofula Sure
"Mhe leg. Hhe look Keveral bnttU-a of Vt'Ketlne.
1 he reaulta were anrpnalnu; it cured her. while all
the former rvmedlea lulled to L'lvi; aiitlHfactloti
,, Itcpoctfuriy, T.F. TRICK.
1 Know the above to he true.
UruKiflat and Apothvcary, l:)!i Mumnoutuat.
VK'.eTiNK.-ForenKllcntlntralllinpurltii'a of the
bloiiil Iromtha ayatem. it haa noeipml. It ban nev
er falleii to ell'ect a cure, giving' tone and strenirth to
the fiem debllltat.;d by dlsein.e.
I'urifios tlio lilood.
BfjKTos. Mal.,0ct. 12, 177.
Denr Sir. I havo WnfialnffVentlne for mmo
time with the (treuteat aallKfactlon. andean bipbly
recommend it aa a (treat eleanaer anil purlflt'rnf tbo
Mood. J. L. HA.S AKoRI).
Pamor of EsU'Hton-witiare .M. E. Chunh.
Xmivnt HNK. mid nil deraneemcnta of the norv
ouh ayn!eni. are iif unlly coniiei'ted with a illaeaned
conillticn of the bloml. Oebilityia a frequent ac
companiment. The firKt thlni! to be dime la to im
prove the conditiou of the blood. Thla la accom
pliahel by takini; VegrtiuR. It la u nerve medi
cine, and poaaenaea a controlling power over the
Will Cia-o Rheumatism.
Cincinnati. April !), lHTT.
Mn. II. R. Stevens:
Dear Sir. I hav-eiiaed yonr medicine. theVesu
tine, lor Hheunntlam with urent auccem. and be
lieve it to bo the beat meriichio for that complaint
that there la. I alao know' It la a -rood blood purl.
Her, ad ul tho preaent time am ualug It aa the heat
aprlni; medicine that I know of. I tuke creitt pleaa
ur in reco'i'Diendiug the Vegetiue tn mv frienda.
ii. Mi nd.
Tiiot aAMis will hear tettlmonvland do It volun
tarllvi. that Veeetlne la th beat medical compound
yet pl('d before the public for renovating and pu
rifying the blood, crudlcatint all bunion", inipurl
tlea. ur poiaonoiia aecretiona from the avatem du
bilitatedhy dlaeaac; In fact. It la. a liiany have
called It, "TbeUreat Health Restorer."
Asui.ev, Ii.i.,Jun. 12, lfffl.
H. R. Stevens:
Dear Sir. I have been ualna V'cjretlne for Dyspep
ala. a:id find more relief from It than all the other
medirinea I ever uaed. There la nothing like It for
Dyapepaia. MRS. M. K. FOWLKS.
I am pcraonallv arqualnted with Mr. Fowiks,
and tan certify that tba above atatemeiit la true.
W. C. PACE, M.D.,
Drnsslat. Atliloy. 111.
Tilot aANoa Kpkak. Vegetine la acknowledged
and recommended by phvaiciana and apothecaries
to be the beat purifier and cleanser of blood vet dis
covered, aud ihouaauda speak lo Its praia who
hive been restored to health.
II. R. STEVENS, BOSTON, MASS.
Vfffetine is Sold By all Druffifists,
JNS'JRANCE AGENCY OP
Wells & Kerth,
Royd Canadian c.WlK5Sald.
Comnereial u..r ,!lk.8.
Tin! AH 1 (Of Philadelphia; established In 1804.)
LIHOn f Asset, $:Wl,ltW,00.
RISKS WRITTEN AT FAIR RATES.
Offlco in Alexander County Bank.
5 5? O
Wholesale aud Retail
Dry Goods and Clotliing,
BOOTS AND SHOES,
CARPETS AND OIL CLOTHS,
Oninmri;lUvenoe, I PilSm Til
Corner Klghtu street f t'ltllVj Uls
THE I LLINOfS CAPITAL.
Simiixokiki.I), Ills., Marcli 0. Tlio only
ulistintcc tliis morning was Senator White.
Tlio committee on warehouses, by Sena
tor Wilson, reported on bill 277 and favora
bly upon Senator Munn's bill regulating
Senator Maybourn, from the committee
on state charitable institutions, reported
the Kankukec asylum bill, and also the
Anna asylum bill.
The Normal university, at Normal, was
indorsed, as was also the C'arbondale insti
tution and the Champaign university, by
favorable reports upon the bills providing
The committee on appropriations report
ed back the canal bill cutting down the
appropriations uskeil for from 179,800 to
Pending discussion on Senator Hunt's
bill, No. 3.j9, tor an act to aid an industrial
school for girls, introduced from the judi
ciary committee, the same being in fuct,
however, n bill originally introduced by
Senator Basil, technical amendments were
proposed by Senator IJash, Hunt, De
Long and others. The fifteenth section,
providing for the establishing auxiliary
schools, was stricken out.
Senator McClellans moved to strike out
of section 3, pertaining to ragpickers, as
reported therein in connection with admis
sions. He opposed taking advantage of
the misfortune of poverty. The section
referred to provides that legal steps may
be taken towards consigning such classes to
the industrial schools. The senator said that
the bill and its general provisions for pro
viding homes for unfoatuuate girl appealed
to our best humanity and our best feelings.
However, he deprecated a legal condemua
tion of the class referred to. .
Senator Riddle held the same views but
wanted the words '"ragpickers" and "vi
cious classes" restored. It was a misfor
tune and not a crime for a girl to have
thief for a father.
Senator Munn said he had carefully read
the bill and with a view to having advan
ced legislation in reference to compulsory
education. The bill he warmly concurred
Senator Bash tuen moved to strike out
Senator JlcClellan thought that would
destroy the bill. He wanted the section re
tained with it slight amendment.
Senator Whiting was anxious to aid the
ladies, who had been put to so much ex
pense to keep the Evanston school running,
He was opposee to so much law in the con
templated act, and thought it hud been a
mistake in having the bill passed upon by
a committee composed of so many lawyers,
His notion was that the institution should
be a benevolent one and not a criminal one.
Senator Hanna spoke pro and con, and in
so doing failed to commit himself.
At this juncture Senator Davis called at
tention to the fact that hulf-pist eleven had
arrived, as indicated by the "amended"
senate clock, the time for the introduction
of the mammoth temperance petition in the
house, and moved a recess of thirty-minuteB,
Senator Lee opposed. Didn't think it
proper. He was ready at all times to meet
the issue on tho floor of the senate. The
motion was lost.
Tho pending question consideration of
the industrial school bill was resumed.
Senator Campbell moved to refer back to
the judiciury committee, which was agreed
Senator Callon introduced a resolution
reciting that the state printer of the first
class, according to complaint, was not doing
business promptly and without delay, us di
rected by law, and calling for an investigation
which upon suspension of rules, was passed.
In the house this morning a number of
new bills were introduced on all conceiva
ble subjects. The most noticahle one be
ing the ono introduced by Hon. 0. H. Fick
hn, providing when the Supreme court nits
at Springfield, oftcr consolidation of the
grund divisions, there ba held three terms
to each year.
A resolution was introduced calling on
the auditor for a statement of railroad de
linquent taxes, It was adopted,
An extensive discussion was had ou bill
275, to pay the debt of tho Juliet peniten
tiary. Tho bill was then refered to the ap
Mr. Frew's bill to regulate reports of life
insurance companies was taken up. The
house was in a slaughtering humor, how
ever, and tho bill had to bo killed. To ef
fect a speedy death an amendment was of.
fered by Mr. Dufee, providing that any per.
son afflicted with cucoethes lognendi, mak
ing application for a life 1 policy, and not
making a disclosure of tho fact, shall- not
bo entitled to any ot tho bcnutlu of this
act. The amendment was adoptud, and
tlm is tlio way tho Illinois legislature leg
islates. TIIK TKMPEItANCH MAID.
The special order tor 1 1 :30 arrived, and
Mr. Hinds, of Stephenson, in an extremely
well .consideml address, presented the
monster petition of tho llome rrotcctivo
union. Th? uhatjibif was crowded, both
NEW SERIES-NO. 220.
floor and galcrles, and tho speakes was fla
ea on either sulo by the leading ladies
tho movoment. The immense petition
4 4 1 Aw - . . -
iio.uuu names, gathered from 430 tow1
uoiiiuvery legislation district in the at'
was placed upon the table in front of
clerk, and tho clerk rend the heading
substance ot the demand.
Mr. Struckman moved that it be refer
to the committee on license.
Mr. Hopkins moved that the distinguiJ
cd women present bo accorded theprivileJ
ot the floor and be invited to address tl
house, which motion prevailed by an ovi'
whelming vote. Miss Francis E. Willai
came forward and delivered a very el
quent and feeling speech of ten minutq
length. She was followed by Mrs. Elli
E. Foster, of Iowa, who ably reprcsenti!
her cause the cause of woman's franchit
on the question of granting license. Mi
St. John, of Eureka, ulso addrcssod U
house. The utmost kindness and courted
was shown the ladies. At the close M
Snigg, of Sangamon, unwilling to' let we
enough ulonn, arose and said:
Mr. Speaker, the house would now Ilk!
to hear from the gentleman from tho stoc;
yards, Mr. Hopkins."
It was doubtless intended as an indini
ty the ladies and u slur at Mr. Hopkins fo
inviting the ladies to speak.
".Mr. Speaker, I would be willing to
almost anything if I could induce tho gen
tloman from Sangamon to reform and aban
don his terrible bad drinking habits.
The resort was so apt and so effectiv
that tho house resounded with applause
and poor Snigg, although loudly called on
hid himself behind tho desk and was hear
trom no more.
The house then adjourned.
A MILLIONAIU GAMBLER.
BTUIKIXO ILI.USTHATIOJi OF THE CHEAT VICt
Ab illustration of the hold which garnb
ling has upon men who have once been en
gaged in mining is afforded by the life of
U Brien, lute a member ot the bonanza firm
In the days of his strugHs and poverty
this mun had been accustomed to play "old
sledge" for five cents a corner in his old!
bur room in San Francisco. He was fortu-l
nate in having Flood and Mack ay and Fairj
for partners, and he became worth millions
before he knew it. But to the day of hist
ueatli lie never forsook his "old sledge.
He took no interest in the business ot the)
firm, simply leaving his money for the oth
ers to work upon. He passed his time in
tho little old bar room plnying hia favorite
gamble with his old friends and generally
wiuning the five ceut stakes of tho poor
devils with whom he played. There wu
nothing menu about O'Brien. Ho was
simply a gambler by instinct and custom,
as most miners arc, and he continued the
fascinating play until death claimed him
as his own winning.
There is nothing disgraceful in gambling
iu una cnnimtinirv, anu trie men who run
the games and steal, so to speak, the hard-
earncu wages of the miner are looked upon
as leading "gentlemen" of towns. The re
puted owner of the heaviest game in Qold
Hill is a member of Hie Methodist church,
sings revival hymns with deep unction, and
at the late election was chosen State Sena
tor over a very worthy ireatleman and mer
chant. This will servo to show the estima
tion in which gamblers are held here. They
are, Bto speas, tno cream ot tlie Ian4.
A GOOD WORD FOR CAIN.
m the first place, Cain for a long time
was the only child on earth. This in itself
was enough to disturb the strongest juven
In judirinr of Cain, look at the situation.
On one kand a terrible family mystery; no
schools, churches, no society, no amuses
ments. On the other hand, the whole bur
den of humanity borne for the first time;
paternal discipline, fhrcnological develop-,
ments, and an antudiluvain good brother
in whoso mouth butter would have remain
ed intact for ages. i ' "
Undoubtedly that brother had an exas
perating smile. Ho was happy because ho
was virtuous. He had a collected manner
of his own, added to a chronic desire to be.
an angel. His Arcs needed 1 only to be
lighted, and the smoke was sure to asaend
with a satisfied, coufident curl far up ia
Cain's on the contrary refused to burn.
The smoke struggled and flopped. It crept
along the ground, and, clinging to his feet;
wound about him like u serpent. It shot
sideways info his eyes, blinding him and
strangling him., ... , i i:
And there stood Able besides his pile,
radiant, satisfied, wanting to be an angel f
It was but the work of a moment, Able
was no more. Why dwell upon the tragedy?
Fathers of, to-day, would your own child
ren pass unscathed through such an exis
tence as this? Your . little Abies might ,
stand it, but how about your little ('ulna! ,
A pair of ladies' allocs that uren't "a mite
A newspaper communication that wu
not "struck en in a hurry."
A clown's jokes leas than forty years old,
A country residence Tor sale that Isn't
"within five minutes' walk of the railroad
station." . "
A newspaper that isn't "the beat adver
tising medium in the country.' ''
a l .1 a. . i .,.
An impartial uuso-imu umpire.
' An infant that isn't "just the
baoy in the world" ;. ,(
Anything advertised thrro weeks before '
Christmas that Isn't 'Suitable for Holiday
A pnrngiunhlst that never made a pun on
Turkey, in connection with Tlinnksgivln(f
A didn't-know-lt-woM-hmded min that '
never kilted unylxidy. ,, l-
4 political stump speaker who Havrcr
abused the opposition camHdti ( (
A young lady who fan pun u plate-glass
window on tho Sabbath without twain
a . ft.
uur lieeu. isorruiowo mratu.