Newspaper Page Text
THE DAILY CAIRO BULLETIN.
TUB TWENTY-FIRST ANNUAL STATEMENT OF THE
EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY
OF THE UNITED STATES, ViO I3ROADWAY, NEW YOUR.
FOIt THE YEAH KNDINO WECEMI5EK 31, 1880.
AXH'NT OP I.KIX.r.ll A-i-lT. Jill) . 1.
, S a'.Mi fWT i.-J
1 .j.7'-" I
Intercut md rents
Met prolll on Investments ...
II.; Hi 'i '7 ii.')
Claim' by death and matured endow
munis - I
Dividend!, surrender values, ami an
nuities Discounted endowment uml matured
ii.WO,! I I
'J.I'Di.llO i I
17" 'Hi! I '.I
Total paid policy holder
Dividend on tapit nl
Agencies mid cuminlM-loli
8lto, county and city taxes
.... $ 4,'.,.7 t;
.. hH,MK ,!)
Net each as'ets. Dec. :1.1SM $ :iH.ir..HII 1
Itniuln ml morteaL'e-. ? ' '"
I'nited Muli:a 'Ukks ; ......
State stock'. Citr stc If". all'l 'locks
authorized liy the. In of I lie ute
of New Vork ....... ,
Loans sefiireii t.y iHi Hn! stock-
Ileal estate In York and Huston
and purchased under Ion-closure..
Cab on hand In lank and uthcr de
positories on interest anil in tmh-il
mince riTi ivd i
has from aetil on a cmmt of pre
S fT l'.'3
;'.'. i.; v
J IV,.' 07 li
f Rx.lO'J.Ml "i
.Vi'XS i ii
Mark'l value ol stock! and hoiols
over Cost -
Interest and renin due and m crm d .
premium' dm and in prow of
collection 'less premiums paid lu
advance, $vl"'l I
ll,'. :'.! 111
Total a-sd-, lM,.:il.li $ II 1 ,'"! ;.!
Total llaSilMii-" including leiial re
nerve fur reinsurance nf all .exist
ttltf policies -il -30s 11
Total undivided surplua $ 'j..i
Of which b'doiii.'' fa ronipiiledi to
pilicle in t'K'ieral ia
I 'ir,,i,i :l
which heluiii: ia cumpuied . to
pvjlicli'' in loutiue clai-' l i JJooi
Bbkd Attune! in 1 Jiiiii. S i r, 1 7,ii05 oo
Risks Oiitstamliiitr 8177,597,703 0
T. LOUIS, I. M. t SO. RV
IRON MOUNTAIN RoUIE.
THAlMn LEAVE ( Atlld,
Arkanra' and Ten' Kxpre" 11 IS a.m. Dally
Alil'.ive AT I A!tM,
Kiprem. '-' "'a in. DaVy
AcciitiirtioiK'inn 3 "Hp in. Dawy
Ticket oftS' e: No. W ihl l.ere...
II. H. MILBL'UN. Aiient.
ILLINOIS CENTRAL R. R.
Sliortest ami Quickest Route
St. Louis and Chicago.
The Only Iine Kunnini;
O DAILY TRAINS
Making Direct Connection
Tbaihb Lear Cairo:
.1: 1 r a in. Mail.
Arrivinc In St. I.oui' 4.'i a.m. : fhtcaj..ia:3n ..tn.;
Conuecttiii: at Odin and Kmncham for Cincin
nati, Louiavllle, Indlaiiupoliii and point' Ka't.
llllOa.m, St. I,oniK.iinl Western
Arrlvlnc In St. I.oui' 7:05 p. in., and coiini clitiu
for all points Went.
4:U.')i.in. P'iiKt ",xproH.
lor St. I.ouIb and I'hlrauo, arriving at SI. I.oui'
10:40 p.m., and Chicago 7;l n m
-l;"JO p.m. t 'iiu'iimnt I P'.xproHs.
Arriving at Cincinnati 7:il a.m.; I.oui'ville 7:
am.; lndinnapoll' 4:tio a.ni. Paaaencera hy
thif train reach the ahove point' lli lo ;il
Hoi' 1th lu advance of any other route.
ffr The 4 if p. m. expre' haa PUI.I.MAN
M.KEPINti CAK Cairo lo Cilirliiiiaii, without
change', and through aleepem lo St. i.oiiln nnd
Fast TTme Kast.
Pocuniwriinu "T 1111,1 11,10 R tliroiii-h to Mat.
1 iiSSClliXt'l S ,.f nuinta without any de-lav
cauatid hy Sunday Intervening. The Saturday after
noon train from Cairo arrive' in new York Monday
mornltiizat 10::iri. Thirty-six hour In advance of
anv other route,
tr-Kor through ticket' and further Information,
tpplvat Illlnol' Central Uailroad Depot. Cairo.
JAB. JOHNSON, J. H. .IONF.S,
lien. Southern ARcnt. Ticket Aneiit.
A. 11. HANSON, (lun. Paaa, Ageut. Chicago.
Q-yrp-To SELL thla the, Moat Vain
WAN VKl) bio Sluglo Volume ever puhliii'd
AWoni.li of Knowlrihic, collerted togelhcr In
Ono Volumo, contalnliiu over H.olKl HitKnitnst E' to
the mol Importatit niaiter' oflntereatinthw world.
Thoiiiii'tlntie'tiiigund ii'eful hook ever com
plied, covering iilmo't the vnllro Held of Learning.
A large, Iwiidwuno octavo volninu, niS page., pro
fii'oly Illii'traled.-Prlee, Ih.wi, ,)nt iiuhll'hed,
and now In Ha aoventeenth edition, Tux oni.v
hook or IT' kind. Surii 'iicee" to ovury Agenl
who take' It. Sold only by aiihwription.
Thoae wi'hlng to heromo Agent., a,ulrcai for
Dcrrlptlve Clreiilara and extra tcrnm.
G. W. CAKLKTON A CO., Publiahera, N.Y.Clly,
From the undivided 'iirplim. reversionary divi
dends will lie declared, availahlu ou auttlemeiit of
next annual pre mium, to ordinary participating
The valuation of the policies outstanding has
tiui n made on the Ann-ric an experience l.ilile, the
I'val standard of the state of New Vork.
(i W. I'llll.UI'S, I . , , .
.1 1 1, VAN ums. ;Ac,ll,rl,,-
We, the unili r'lfneil, liaw, In peraon, carefully
examined the mi ouiils, and counted and examined
in detail thi! assets of tlie society, and certify timt
the furcjotii statement thereof in correct.
I'.KNMNiiTDN K KAN'IKJl.l'II,
.IAMKS M IIAI.STKII.
T 1 1 i M A N A rt'.MMINS,
IIKSHV K. TKKI1KLL,
Hpcriiil Committee of inn Hoard of Director',
appointed Oct. -.T. to examine thu UK'e'.a
and ai count' at the clone of the yar.
HOARD OK HlltK.T()KH.
IlenrvH Ihde. .lolm A . Stewart.
.eiire II Murcan,
I ienre T. Ailee.
il'-nrv A. Iliirlbul.
Heiirv F. HpaulduiL'.
William II. ynji,
W illiam A. Whe.-lie-k,
Vlllinm i.. I.'iniliort,
.la no ' W. A.i lander,
Henry S. Tertn-ll
'I hiiiua' S. Vuuiil',
Thonia' A I'timniiii',
liani'd H. I.nrd,
.lanio M HaNieij.
lloure I'urt' r.
Kdward W I.Htulu rt,
li. K Kai.doliih.
A i n !i f . n Trak.
A"hhe (iri en.
Heiirv V. lii.'tl. r.
eor;e II. Stewart,
.lull ii I) June'.
Kuhert Lenox Kennedy.
hauncy M. Depew,
li iijaiinn Wllllaiu'on,
Henry M. Alexander,
K lioudmot f'o't,
Thonia' A Diddle,
(ienri-e W. ( arli inn,
ieore li. Kello;.',
lo'ii K Navarro,
John J. McCiK.k,
Stephen II. Wilillp',
Samuel W . Tnrrey,
Charli i-ii. I.andua,
Alexander IV Irvui,
T. Dc- Witt I'uvier,
William M. Hit".
Samuel a. tiouilrich .
JAMES V. ALEXAXDEIt. Vice IWt.
SAMUEL JiOltllOWE, -2l Vice iWl.
Mi'iliml Ettmincr! :
K. W. Lsiiili.Tt, M. I)., Eil wM Curtis. M. I).
E. W. Scott, Supcriiittinili-nt of Agcucics.
N'lrtli Wcti rn Departmcut.
Pk Derl"irn street. Chicago.
W. N. CHAIN E. General Mana-rer.
E. A. iiCKXETT. A-ent.
UKK1CIAL DI RECTOR V.
Mayor- II Thi'tlewood.
Tr aurer Kdward Dezoula.
(. lerk -Detilii'. J. Foley.
i'utiiielo. -Wni. II. (illliert,
Marriiai -J, H. Huh num.
Attorne) -William llendrlck'.
hoaiiu or ALUEllKB.
F.r't Wrd-.M J Howler. Peter Saup.
sei'or.d Ward-David T. 'l.lneirar. .Ie"e Hioklu
Third Ward-Echert Smith. 11. F, Blake.
Fourth Ward-Cuarin U. Pailer, Adolph Swo
hoia F:ru Ward -T. W. Ilallldav. ErneM B. Pettlt.
Cirr.;lt ,l!i,!ke- I). J. Baker.
Circuit Clerk A. II Irvm.
County Judge K. s Yucum.
County Clerk S. J Ilumin.
I'ouiity Attiirn-y-J. M. Damron.
t'ountv Trea'iirer Miiea W. Parker.
Sheritt John Hodge'.
I'unmer - It. Fitgera.c.
t nuiity Commiionera T. W. Halllday, J A.
M . tjihh'. Samuel Ilriley.
l ENKHAI, PF.I.IVEK open i-.M a. m.; doe
V I li.mi p m ; Sunday: to a a m.
Money Order Department open at 8a.m.; dorta
tt S p in.
Thn.uth Expre" Mall' via Illinois Central ;J:4)
M :'i"!p)il Central ItailroaiU do'e at il p. m.
C'ltM ni:d TopUr Bluff Through and Way Mall
' at I p. m.
Way Mall via Illinol' Central. Cair and Vln
ceniiea and Mi"."lppl Central Itallroada clofe at
i:4.'i p. m.
Way .Mall for Narrow (iaugo Kallroad closea at
8 :;o t. m.
Cairo and Evan'vllle lilvcr Route clo'ca at i:80
p. m. ditliy (except Friday).
VKHICAN M E. -Fourteenth atreet. hetwean
Walnut and Cedar 'treef; 'en-Ire. Sahhalh 11
a. m. and ""Vi p. m.; Sunduy School 1:30 p. m
CIIIKISTIAN-Eighteelitll 'treet; moetlli
j hath Hi:: p. m.; preaching occa'lonally
plIfKCH OF THE KEDKEM KR (Epl'copal)
iinrieiiith 'treet: Siindav Mornlni; Draver.
lo::(o a. m ; evening rayera,7:30 p. rn.; Sunday
chool !i "Hi a. m. Friday evening prayer 7:30 p. m.
IJMRST MISSIONARY HAPTIST CIU'RCU.-
I Preaching at 10:30 a. m., :l p. m., and 7:30 p. m.
SHhhath xhool at
: p. m. llcv. T. J. Shore',
f VTIIEUAN-Thirteenth atrHt; aervlira Sab
Key. J J hath 1:30 a m.; Sunday tchool ip. m
METHODIST-Cor. Eighth and Walnut 'treeta;
Preaching Sahhalh in :.40 a. m. and 7 p.m.;
prayer meeting, Wudncday 7:30 p. m.; Sunday
School, 9 a. m. Uct. Whittakcr, pactor.
1JRESBYTEKIAN Eighth 'treet; preaching on
Suhhath at 11:U0 a. m. and 7 ::Vi p. m.; prayer
meeting Widneadav at 7:3'lp. m.; Sunday School
at 3 p. m. Rev. H. V. 'jeorge, pa'tor.
SECOND FREEWILL BAPTIST - Fifleei.th
O atreel, helween Walnut and Cedar (treeta; acr
vice Sahhalh at 3 and 7:3(1 p. m.
yT. JOSEPirS-dtoman Catholic) Corner from
O and Walnut 'treef, aervlre' Sahbath 10:30a.
n. ; Sunday School at 1! p. in. ; Veapera 3 p. m.; 'cr
rice every day at 8 p. in.
(JT. PATRICK'S (Roman Catholic) Corner Ninth
O 'treet in id Washington avenue; aervlco' Sub
nath 8 and 10 a. m. ; Ve'pera 3 p. m. ; Snuday School
p. 111. aervlce' every day at b p. m. Rev. SLuli'Woll
QEOUGE II. LEACH, M.I),
Physician and Surgeon.
Special attention paid to that Homeopathic treat
ment ol aurglcul dlavaaci, aud dlaeaiea of wouieu
Oillce: No. 10 Eighth atreut, near Commorclal
avenue, Culro, HI',
TJH. E. W. W1IITLOCK,
orni:i-No. 13ft Commercial Avenue, hutween
Eighth and Ninth Struct
JJR. V. C. J0CELYN,
OFFICE -ElgUtk Stroot, near Commercial Avonna,
CAIRO. ILLINOIS. SUNDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 20,
NOTICEABLE POINTS IN THE 21st
ANNUAL STATEMENT OF THE EQUIT
ABLE LIFE ASSCUASCK SOCIETY;
NEW YORK. JAN. 1st, llllll.
Assets, $11,108,602; an increase, of
more than Three Million Dollars in
Surplus, $9f2sUf2H;an increase of
One and Three-quarter Millions of Dol
lars in mo.
New UusiiiesK, 8:15,170,1105: an in
crease of Eifflit and a half Million Dol
lars in 1880.
Amount jiaid to Po icy-liolders and
their representatives durin? Uiao,
A liberal surrender value in paid-up
insurance is provided for in all ordina
ry policies in case of forfeiture.
Tontine Saving's Fund Policies may
be terminated at the close of certain
defined periods, on terms more advan
tageous than upon any other plan.
These policies prove more profitable to
the policy-holder than any other form
Actual examples can be furnished at
the Society's ofliee, of persons bei in
sured for ten years, and then upon
teriuiu itiriflr their Tontine Policies, re
ceivinarcash in some instances equal to
the whole of the premiums paid; in
others, nearly all.
No technicalities nor arduous condi
tions in policy contracts.
Policies incontestable after bavin?
been in force for three years. All such
incontestable policies will be paid at
maturity, without rebate of interest,
immediately after the receipt at the
Society's ofliee in New York of satisfac
tory proof's of death, together with a
valid and satisfactory discharge lrom
the parties in interest, and without re
quiring any delay, even for sixty or
ninety days, as lias been the custom
heretofore, and is still usual with other
STOVES AND TINWARE.
ALL SORTS, SIZES AND STYLES,
Manufacturer ol aud Dealer in
TIN, C0PPEH & SHEET-IRON WARE
ALL KINDS OF JOB WORK DONE TO ORDER,
NO. 27 EIGHTH STREET,
Cairo, - - Illinois
2 . o
rpiIE Ciri' NATIONAL DANK
W. I. HAM.1DAY, Pre'ldem.
II. L. 11 ALU DAY. Vlee-Pre'ldont.
TIIOS, W. UALI.IDAY, C'a'hlcrf
TTITATLOI, W. P. IUU.IPAT,
BINHr L. UA1.LIII4T, H. H. CUNNINUHAM,
B. WlUJAHeoK, DTIP.HIM BIHD,
H, H. CANDII,
Exchange, Coin Mid United States Bonds
BOUGHT AND SOLD.
Dapo'lerMciilviirt .-.i i i-i.i l..i..h
flomlnrtud. unnui.. iuK raw-
Jont'pli H. Duv, of Jackson, TemicH.sce,
was at the Pluntor's liou.se yesterday.
Mr. O'Kire WilliimiH, of Springfield, III.,
was restored at the Hotel Du Wintur yea
terday. H. II. Williamson, of Vicksburg, was in
the city yesterday and took lodgings at tlie
Stuart Rogers left tbn city yesterday
morning to fill an engagement up the Cuiro
and Vincennes nrnd.
Mr. Ed McOuire, of Murpliysboro, III,,
was in Cairo yesterday, Btopping at the
Hotel Do Winter.
Mrs. George Steinboiise, wbo lias been
away, returned by the Illinois Central rail
road yesti rday evening.
Mr. Frank McKnight, tbc photographer,
left for Dailucab yesterday to speiid Sunday
with Iiib family. He will return to-morrow.
Messrs. Milton O. Miller mid John
Hengston. of Hock Island, 111., were in the
city yesterday stopping at the Planter's
Died, Friday afternoon, at three o'clock,
Phillip Henry, son of Michael and Anna
Kobler, atrd two years. A special funeral
train will leave foot of Eighth street tor
Villa Ridge at two o'clock, this (Sunday)
afternoon. Friends and acquaintances of
the family are invited to attend.
The following are the wedding presents
to Mr. and Mrs. Harvey Roliiuson, which
were not published with the first list because
they were sent in after tho list bad bum
A bobinet and blue zephyr tidy, from
Miss Jessie I'hillis. ' '
One dozen engraved glass gobblets, from
William R. Hulliday and Charles Ilaugh
A pair of silver salt sellers, pepper bot
tles and butter dishes, elegant design, from
Louis Rlack, Charleston, Mo.
Handsome swinging silver jewel case,
Dr. and Mrs. Dunning.
Fancy silver jewel cae, from Mr. and
Mrs. W. P.Halliday.
Handsome gold lined berry spoon, from
Mr. and Mrs. ('. W. Rradley.
A pair of beautiful salt and pepper bot
tles, from Mr. and Mrs. S. N. Taber.
Work basket and horse shoe, from Mrs.
Silver cake basket, from N. 13. Clabough,
Fair of handsome silver vases, from Mrs.
Frank Casi-i.ly and Miss Mullie Hunter.
A beautiful table cloth and napkins,
from (fohUtine & Rusenwuter.
Handsome cut-glass perfume bottle, from
Mrs. John Hacker.
Elegant point lace scarf and handker
chief, from cousins Ada and Gertrude, Cam
For the Sunday Itulletin.
THE MOTHER'S TASK.
To Itirn how nuoti from told to urny
Will fade the firl'liteet 'umnier ky ;
To aec the tlowera still hloomiai; ou,
While in our path tbe 'hudow lie,
To feel amtd't the WHraith of June,
'.Midd fiimmer'a green and nimnn r'a sold.
The day urow dim, the day prow dark
ShlvcriiiR an with wiuter'a cold.
To fondly 'mooth our darllnt;'' clothes;
To .y farewell with tremlillni; lips;
And yet tonhrlnk from thla aad tii'k,
(lur 'iin'hlne hurled in eclipse,
To atatnl he'lde the open door
And watch the firm pa's down the 'treet,
ThrlU'd with the tonch of cluHpinR hands
And ecuoea of the liiij-'rlnj' feet .
To rros the tlrreahold walking alow,
All Kden otic wli.li fruit of gold;
Wltn pluintivi) weary moau to cry.
To 'ensi le" w all' our ericfunfold.
To 'tiind within llie 'ilent room.
Yearning the dear lorin there to see;
From our love post in duty's path
Uracil empty arms oh! tiod to thee.
And while we weakly yield to grief,
To breathe to thee a silent prayer,
Asking thy care and tender lovo
To guard our darllngcvcrywheru.
To pray that nil our auxloiis fears
Tliy hand with tenderness dispel
And yet with midettoiie of puin,
Repent the liumi) wo love so well.
Rath W .
The consumption of malt licpior iu this
country baa increased over 100 per cent, in
ten years. "During 18S0," says tho retail
er, the organ of the brewers, "taxes were
paid on 13,374,000 barrels, or 414,000,000
gallons. This is equivalent to about 130
mugs for every man, woman and child in
tho country. Leaving out the females and
children, this vast quantity represented
000 glasses a year for each male over
twenty-onu years old in tho United .States,
When wo consider tho veiy large number
of adult males who drink no beer at all, and
the other host who partake of it only in tho
most moderate manner, and at more-or less
protracted intervals, it is evident that some
other Americans must drink a great deal.
At 5 cents a glass, this beer manufacture of
1880 brought 1375,000,000, or about $7.50
per capital for every man, woman and child.
This is a quarter nioro than tho total ex
pense of running tho United States govern
ment." Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer is the
nmrvol of tho ago for all Neive Diseases,
All fits stopped fn., Send to 031 Arch
street, Philadelphia, Penn.
A Delicate Question.
For siinio time past u contro, nrsy lias
been curried on in tho columns of a
Paris newspaper on the following doli
eate question: "Ifanian find himself,
at one tunl the sunns time, in the society
of his wife and his mother-in-law, to
which of these ladies should ho otl'er his
arm for the purpose of conducting hT
honie'r"' (lu the one side it is contend
ed thai pi'efci-eiien in this regard should
bo aeeunleil to the mother-in-law; for
should she, lin king support mid protec
tion while in charge of her daughter's
husband, slip down and break her leg,
or haply bo run over at a crossing, her
8on-in-liiw could scarcely fail to bo
saddled with the cost of repairing her
a contingency which no married man
can coiiieinplato without a shudder.
Another writer upon tli'm issue observes
that "even Admitting tho mother-in-law's
prior claim, to lm established by
some Irx mm seriita of polite manners,
exception must bn taken to it during
the honeymoon, when the prescriptions
of etiquette are bound to give way to
the dictates of the heart." A battered
worlding exhorts his married readers
to oiler their arms to their young wives,
leaving mothers-in-law to take cure of
"For," he argues, "if your wifo walk
alone, who knows what amatory whis
pers may reach her ears, and with what
effect? Whereas your mother-in-law is
shielded from tlie-e insidious niolela
tiotis by her gre.iier- experience!" The
expert appointed by The, Fi'jnro to sum
up the arguments on both sides und
pronounce judgment upon the original
question, gives bis decision in the fol
lowing terms: "A mother-in-law en
joys priority of right to her son-in-law's
arm; but upon tne sole condition, to
which no exception will bo tolerated,
that she be older than her daughter'."'
Another Good Boy,
A Detroit grocer was, the other day,
hungrily waiting for his clerk to return
from dinner and give him ti chance at
his own noonday meal, when a boy
came into the store with a basket in his
hand and said:
"I seed a boy grab up this 'ere basket
from the door and run, and I run after
him and made him give it up."
"Mv lad, you are. an honest boy."
"And you look like a good boy."
"And good boys should always be
encouraged. In a box in tho back room
there are eight dozen eggs. You may
take them home to your mother and
keep tho basket."
Tho grocer had been saving those
eggs for days and weeks to reward some
one. In rewarding a good boy he also
got eight dozen bad eggs carried out of
tho neighborhood free of cost, and he
chuckled a little chuck as he walked
Tho nlternoon waned, night came
nnd went and once more the grocer
went to his dinner. When he returned
he was picking his teeth and wearing a
complacent smile His eye caught a
basket of eight dozen cgirs a.s ho enter
ed the store, and fie queried:
"Been buying some eggs?"
"Yes; got hold of those from a
fanner's boy," replied the clerk.
"A lame bov with a blue cap on?"
"Two front teeth out?"
The grocer sat down and examined
the eggs. The shells had been cleaned,
but they were the same eggs that good
boy had lugged home the day before.
A New lluveii bruie saturated eoltoii
with alcohol, lied it to a dog's tail, and
then set lire to it. The dog .stal led on
the runt) go under the brule's b.irn.
Then it didn't seem so funny to the
brute, lie madly howled at the dog
and ran afier him, but before he could
overtake tho imiinal it got under the
barn, birt somehow the cotton went out
and didn't set the barn on lire. This
was poetic justice. Rani was insured
for twice its value.
Out near Detliany College, says a To
pek. Kan., paper, lives a beautiful and
accomplished young lady, u hose parents
think her "all that is," and, of course,
devote all attention and gratify any de
sire her thoughts may at any time crave.
Rut us nearly all girls like her, she had
a suitor w hom the old folks objected to,
and took every manner of means imag
inable to break oil" the association, but
without avail. Finally, the father turn
ed his ironclad command upon tho
daughter, and told her llat-footcdly that
she should end that business or not ex
pect anything from him. That settled
it. The girl would have had tho fellow
then or died in the attempt. All good
looking girls defy their parents and
their friends when it comes to the pinch.
She loved her beau and would have
him, let the consequences be what they
would afterward. So Saturday night
w:us chosen for the time for ah elope
ment and marriage. A few of the
couple's young friends desired to see
the alliance celebrated, and they joined
in to assist. Tho plot thickens. A
young lad v who lives on Topekti avenue,
mid who was interested, got up a party
at her house and invited the crowd, and
there tho marriage was to tako place.
Tho voting lady in question played a
game of toothache on her parents and
went to bed about 6 o'clock. At tho
proper time her windows were hoisted,
and she taken out by a young man.
They went to the scene of revelry, where
ull was light and gay, and where the
wedding march was played as tho ab
sconding pair entered tho houso. But
just at tins stage of tho proceedings a
lit, of fear seized tho intended bride, and
before she could be sacrificed at Hy
men's altar she backed out squarely
and repented. Nothing could prevail
with her to carry out tho scheme, and
she had to be taken homo. In a closo
carriage the party drove within a block
of the mansion, aud sho stole quietly
up the remainder of tho way. Tho
window was hoisted again and tno trem
bling form shoved back into its littlo
bed, promising to go tho whole Iwg
next time, toothache or no toothache.
SERIES NO. 202
A dog which won't run from an ele
phant will break his back to get away
from an oyster can.
A Ready Answer Very red-haired
passenger: "I say, guard why on earth
don't the train go on?" "Good gra
cious, sir! put your head in; how can
you expect it to go whilu that danger
signal is nut?"
lie was informed that a lady had
called to see him in his absence, "A
lady," he mused aloud; "a lady."
Upon mi accurate description, he sud
denly brightened up, and added: "Oh,
dot va-s no lady; dot va.s my vife."
A party of young fellows the other
night made a bet as to who could swim
the farthest. The next morning when
they met at the rendezvous, one of them
carried a large bundle. "What is
that?" asked the others. "Victuals
for three days."
A wit fished a rich old gentleman out
of a iiiill-pond, and refused the offer of
a shilling from the rescued miser.
"Oh, Hull's too much!" exclaimed he;
"tain't worth it!" and he handed back
sixpence, saying, calmly, as he pocketed
the reiiiaiinler, "that's about right."
A worthy banker has separated from
his wile, who is recklessly extravagant,
l'lvseiitly he falls ill and she sends to
inquire afier hi health. The maid was
usliered into the dying man's chamber,
and begins her message: "My mistress
has sent, me to sk" "For how
much?" says the dying man with a sigh.
Why is it that you never go to see old
Diinkltard any more?" "( h, the. road
home is so abominable long." "It isn't
any longer than the road there." "Oh,
but it is - tho road there is straight,
coming lioine it's crookeder'n a ram's
"I"ll teach you to lie, and steal, and
smoke, nnd use profane language,"
said an irate parent to his eldest off
spring, at the samo time swinging a
good-sized sapling. "I'll teach you,
you young scamp." "Never mind,
father; I know all them branches al
ready." lie was saying, o ho scratched a lu
cifer on the side of a house, "I liko
these houses with sanded paint; nice
when you want to strike a match, you
know." "Is that so?" she asked de
murely "I wish I lived in a house
with sanded paint;" and then she looked
things unutterable. If ho had asked
"What for?" sho would have hated
him. Hut he didn't; he took the hint,
and the match was struck then ami
"Did you break that window, boy?"
said tho" grocer, catching hold of the
fleeing urchin. "Yes. sir." "What
d'ye mean, then, by running off in this
manner?" 'Tloa.se, sir, I was running
home to get the money. I was 'fraid
if I didn't run ouiek I might forget."
And with that he skipped round tho
corner. He doubtless found his way
home, but he probably lost his way
coming back. Thu grocer still waits
A Present. A dm mafic- editor of a
French paper had occasion recently to
criticize severely the performance of a
somewhat popular actress. Shortly
afterwards the lover of the young lady
met the journalist in the theater, and
presented biiu with a package of goose
quills. "This, sir," said he, "is u pres
ent from Miss X." "What!" exclaim
ed the critic, "did she tear all of these
out of voti herself? How you must
William Thompson, the once famous
Maori chief, adopted a shrewd method
of deciding which one of his two sons
should succeed him. A.s they stood he
fore him as he lay sick unto death, ho
suddenly addressed himself to the elder
saying: "Shortland, take down that
gun and shoot the white man standing
out.side the hut." The youth was about
to obey the order readily enough, when
his brother intervened with; "Why
should iiii killthe man? what harm has
he done to us?" Then said the old
chief: "Yes, that is right, ou have
wdiat is wanted - sense and discretion.
You will take mv place when I am
gone." And so the succession was set
tled. Ella Higgins, daughter of a poor
miner, at Dunniore, l'a., desired to
dress as well as her companions at a
forthcoming party, and therefore pur
chased some fineries at a store, saying
they were for the wifo of a neighbor,
who would pay for them. The mer
chant, on ascertaining how he had been
tricked, made arrangements to have
the girl arrested. When the officer
went to get her, she was found hanging
U a beam in the garret of her home.
How to Hang Thormometera.
There seem to he so many erroneoua
notions among the manv amateur mete
orologist of llie city about tho mimi
miini temperature of the twenty-four
hours, nnd how to obtain it correctly,
says a correspondent of the St. Paul iV.
oi'icrr I'rvss, I hat a few lines from an
"old weathercock," I trust will not be
altogether lost. In the lirst place, then,
the temperature of the wall of any build
ing at any hour of the night or day is
not the true temperature of the circulat
ing air, and is of no use to science. A
wood wall will radiate its heat more
rapidly than a brick or stone, and tho
amateur scientist who hangs his ther
mometer on a wood wall can force his
mercury down below the amateur who
selects a brick wall. Tho proper way
to expose your thermometer, is to sur
round it with a light wood frame, cov
ered with slats, liko shutter-work, and
roofed over. This will protect It from
the direct rays of the sun and reflected
heat. Kun a light wood bar across tha
center of your shelter, to which you
can attach tho thermometer, w'hieU
should he. when pwperly exposed on
tho north sido of the building, and at
least one foot from al surrounding ob
Wis If these directions are followed,
rroneoiis report of extreme co d
weather will not lind their way lnU
print so often.. It is not a very funny
thiii" for tho press to report 25 below
zero? when 15' represented the trut
temperature of the circulating air.