Newspaper Page Text
CAIRO. ILLINOIS. THURSDAY MORNING, FEBRUARY 2, 1831.
NEW SERIES-NO. 205
TIIK TWENTY-FIRST ANNUAL STATEMENT OF THE
EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY
OF THE UNITED STATES, ISO BROADWAY, NEW YOKE.
HENRY 15. HYDE, President.
FOR THE YEAR ENDING DECEMBER 31, 1880.
AMiiCNTur Lkim.kh iHHrn. Jun 1.
Intercut mid reuta
Net profit on Investment
$ l.Ti.i '7 or,
Claims by dcuth and matured endow-
iiii nta si
Dividends, surrender valuea, and ale
nuith a,Ki.no in
Discounted endowment and matured
toutlue poll' lea 17H M l
Total pali! policy bolder! i,7.HM7 A
Dividend id cip tsl
Aguai'lua and commissions
State, county and city laiua
.... 7.li0 IKl
UK, MS 711
Net cash asset!, Dee. 111. IW
Bonds and mortgage
$ IIS.W.M I IK
I nited Statu. sto aa
blate stocks, city slocks, and stocks
authorized by the laws of the state
of New 'ork ..
Loans serureri by bonds and slocks.
Real retail; In New Vork and Huston
and purchased under for:I'iir. .
Cash on band in banks and other de
positories "n interest and In tran-lt
Dm from agents on account of pre
S 'W7 CM 47
7.iil M.'J Hi-
S :iH,i;!i.MI IK
Market value of stock! and bond
over cost -
Interest and rents due and accrued
premiums dtn and In process of
collection i less premium paid iu
1 "t'i or-
$ 4i.i i:
Total assets, Dec. 31, ism..
Total liabilities including leal re
serve fcir reinsurance ol all .exist-
Total undivided aurplui...
.... :;!.). 5 11
Of which belnn..' ra computed) to
put ! I w gvneral rla-s.... ... 1 !tir,i . I .'1
Of which belongs (as computed ) to
pohcki in tontine class . js-ti. j it u .
ELsks Assumed in lBio,8:j.'i.l70,805 00
Risks Outstanding: 8177,597,70:100
AGKNTS-To SEI'1' tl1'" ,l,t' M,", Vb1"
W AN 1'KIJ l'e Sinijle Volume ever puMis'd
A World of Knuvilkis.k. col ted toi:eiher In
tine Vo.utue. coniaiuinu' over , i KKraiiCKeea to
he most Important mntiers of Intefst in the v,or'.d.
The most Int-'restini; utid tis fnl Look ever coin
plb'd. coverinir a'mot the entire li"! I of 1. -11 rm 11 1:
A lame b.ilnloire octavo volume, M." lull's, pro
fuse.y lllutta:ed. l'riic. 'l '. Just publi-ti. d.
and now in its seventeenth edition. Tut i.m.i
Hook ornshiKli Mire sin ces In every Al'i ul
whntakes it Sold only by tutr:ptlon.
These n e li ! nj; to become Agi'iits. address for
Descriptive cif ulars and extra terms
G. W. CAKI.ETO.N 4 CO., I'uhlish. rs, N.Y l ily.
LOUIS, I. M. fc SO. RY
IRON MOUNTAIN ROUTE.
TRAINS LEAVC CAlUtl,
Arkant-as andTex.is Expres li 4ja.m. Daily
Aiuiivr. AT I AIIUI.
Express -J:Vi a in. Daily
Accommodation 'i'-'H P m. Dally
Ticket office: No. 55 Ohio Levee.
II. H M1LBCUN, Aj'tit
ILLINOIS CENTRAL R. R.
Shortest ami Quickest Routt!
St. Louis and Chicago.
The Only Lino Uurmhitf
O DAILY TRAINS
Makino Dibkct Connection
TiiaiN! Leats Caiiiii:
,'!:1 fj ii tu. Mail,
Arriving In St. Louis fl;4f a.m. ; Chicago, 8:30 p.m.;
Connecllng at odiu and Eltingliam for Cliicm
nati, Louisville, ludlamipolia and point! East.
11:10 u.in. bit. IiOui imd Vntm
Arriving In St. Loula 7:0.'i p. in., and connectim
for all point! West.
4:UO p.m. Kumt Kxpreaa.
JnrHt. Louis Bnd Chicago, arriving at St. Louis
10:40 p.m., and Chicago 7 :in a m
i p.m. (Mnt'inntitl KxproxR.
Arriving nt Cincinnati 7:00 a.m.; Louisville 7:-.'o
a m.; Indlanapollit 4:00 a.m. Pussengera hv
this train reach the above points 1 U to 3tl
llol'RS In advance of any other route.
pBrThn4:an p. m. express haa TULI.MAN
Sl.KICl'lNO CAR Cairo In Cincinnati, without
changes, and through sleepers to St, Loula and
Fant TiTrTo Katt.
PilcuOlltrDl'U hy tn',, 11,10 go through to Hast.
1 UbntllllN m-n po nts without any delay
caused by Sunday Intervening. The Saturday after
noon train from Cairn arrives in new York Monday
morning at W:3,V TblrtyHi hours) In advauceof
any other route,
IWKor through tickets and further Information,
apply at Illlnola Central Railroad Depot, Cairo.
JAB. JOHNSON. , , J- II. .IONKS.
(len. Southern Agent. Ticket Agent.
A. H. HANSON, Oen. Pasa, Agent, Chicago.
From Hid undivided surplus, reversionary divi
denda will be declared, available on settlement of
next annual pr. inlum, to ordinary part.clpatlng
1 lie valuation of the policies outstanding Iiiih
been maile on the American experience table, the
legal standard oflhe state of New York.
li W. I'll I I.I.I 'S. 1 .,,.. .
J . i. VAN CIsK. J Actuaries
We, the undersigned, have, In person, carefally
examined tin; KcciiuiitM, and couut' d and examined
in detail the assets of the society, and certify that
the foregoing itiitenietil thereof larorrnrt.
!i K N N I N i i ''( S K. KANDOM'H,
.IAMK.S M HAI.STEI,
TIlHMAS A CI'MMINH,
1IESKV h. TKItUhLL.
Hperlal t'liinnilltee of the Board of Directors,
appointed i let Iksh, tu examine the ai-aets
ami accounts at the clone of the yar.
HOARD OK IUKKCTOJIS.
llenrvH llvde, .fnhn . Stewart,
leoru'e if. Morgan,
liork'l' T. Allee,
Henry A. Iliirlbut.
Ilctiry t Sj.auldiui;,
William II. Kocg,
W illium A. Wl.eelork,
John D Join s,
Hubert l.enox Kennedy,
hauiicy M. Depew,
H njamin Williamson,
Henrv M Alexander,
William W;ker, '
E. Uoudinot Colt,
Thomas A Hiddie,
ieoriri1 W. rarleton,
Joe K Navarro,
John J. McCook.
Sl.'phell 11. t'hiJips,
Samuel W. Torrey,
Charles (i I.andoa,
Alexander I'. Irvin,
'I De Witt ruyicr,
I.ou s FitZ'.'erald,
William M. Bliss.
Wiiiiam Alexander. ,
Samuel U. (iixidrlch .
William li. Lambert,
Henry li llHrn 'a' d
lann-s W. A:i itnder,
ll.-i-ry S. Terbell
Thomas S. Vouml',
Tbmuas A ( umiiiins,
Daniel I). I., rd,
lames M Daisied.
Horace I'urt r.
B. V Kai.dolph.
Henrv V llutier,
loor'e II. Sleart,
JAMES Y. ALEXANDER. Vice Pres't.
SAMUEL UORROWE, L'd Vice Pa-s't. .
E. W. LHtnl.i rt, M. D EdwM Curtis, M. I).
E. W. Scott, Superintendent of Ageuciec.
North Wchtera Department.
I'M Dearborn Street, Chicago.
W. N. URA1NE, General Mana-'tr.
E. A. BURNETT. Affont,
Mayor N.B. Tbistlewood.
Treasnrer Edward Deronla.
Clerk Dennis J. KoleT.
Counseior--Wm. B. Itifbert.
Marsha J. H. Koh'nson.
Attorney William Hendrick!.
BOAHU or 4LDIRMBX.
First Ward M J Howley. Peter Saup.
Second Ward David T. Llneyar. Jese Hinkle
Third Ward-Egbert Smith. B F, Blake.
Fourth Ward-Charles O. I'atler, Adolph Swo
bixia Fitth Ward-T. W". !Iallldav, Ernest B. Petttt.
i ircuti Jiidi-e- D. ,1. Baker.
I ircnlt l iera-A. H Irvin.
Cn'.i.ty .1 ii'lk-e K S. Yocum.
Count) Clerk -S.J. llumm.
I'ouniy Attorney J. M Damron.
County Treasurer- Mile! W. Parker.
Coroner - K Fiti'i raiC.
Cunntv Commissioners T. W. iialltday, J A.
M. dibbs. Samuel Brilejr.
' ENF.KAL DELIVERY open ,:.u a m.; closaa
V p m ; Sunday: 8 to a. m.
Money Order Department open at 8 a. m.; closci
tt 5 p. m.-
Through Express Mails via Illinois Central 3H
Mississippi Centra Kallroadi dose at 9 p. ni.
Cairn and Poplar Bluff Through and Way Mall
r)u s ftl 1 p. III.
Way Mini via ll'inois Central. Cairo and Vln
cemies and Mi-s.sslppi Central Itallroadi cloae at
i:4.i p. m.
Way Vail fur Narrow Gauge Kailroid closes at
S:M i. in.
Cairo and Evansville Klvur Route dose! at 2:30
p. m, daiiv (except Friday I.
VFKICAN M. E Fourteenth utrect, between
Walnut and Cedar streets: services Sabbath II
a. m. and 7:'u p. m ; Sunday School 1:110 p. m.
plirKCH OF THE REDEEMER (Episcopal)
KJ Fourteenth street; Sunday Morning prayera
I0::t0 a. m :cvenine prayera, i:30 p. m.: Sunday
school :: a. m. Friday evening prayer 7:30 p. m.
niltST MISSIONARY BAPTIST CUrRCH.
F Pn-achlni! at 10:;Vi a. m., 3 p. m., and 7:30 p. m.
Sabbath school at 7:30 p. ni. Rev. T. J. Shores,
JCTIIERAN-Thirtoenth itreet; servleel Sat).
j lmth 1 :30 a. m. ; Sunday school '2 p ru. Rev,
f KTHODIST-Cor Eighth and Walnut streets;
reaching Sabbath 10:- a. m. and 7 p.m.;
prayer meeting, Wednesday
:30 p. m.
school, li a. m.
Rev. Whlttaker, pastor.
I )RESBYTEliIAN--Elghth street; preaching on
Sabbath at 11:00 a. m. and 7:30 o. m.; Braver
meeting Wednesday at 7:30 p.m.; Sunday School
at 3 p. hi. Rev. B. V. 'ieore, pastor.
CKl'OND FREEWILL BAPTIST Flftcetth
O street, between Walnut and Cedar !troetj !er
vlcea Sabbath at 3 and 7:30 p. in.
CT. JOSEPH'S-(Roman Catholic) Corner Crosa
0 and Walnut streets; serviced Sabbath 10 :30a.
n. ; Sunday School at 2 p. in.; Wipers 3 p. tn.; ser
vices every day at 8 p. in,
CT. PATRICK'S (Roman Catholic) Corner Ninth
C9 street and Washington avenue; ervtce! Sab
nath Hand 10a. m.; Vesper! 3 p. m.; Sunday School
1 p. in. lervices. every day at 8 p. m. Rev. M;itiM'son
WOMAN'S CHRISTIAN TEMPERANCE UN
,. DN, holds Ita regular weekly meetlngi In
the hall ot the Cairo Teiiiperiincc Reform Club, ev
cry Ihursdny afternoon, at 3:30 o'clock. Every
body it tuvlted to atteud.
QEOKGE II. LEACH, M. D.,
riiysiciun and Surgeon.
Special tttcntlon paid to the Hom.fopathlc treat
an''hlldn'u ' ' d,," " mtn
pR. E. W. WHITLOCK,
OrncB-No. 1311 Commercial Avenue, between
Eighth and Ninth Htreeu
J)R. W. C. J0CELYN,
OFiTCE-Elghtli Street, near Commcp.ial Avanoe.
NOTICEABLE POINTS IN THE 21st
ANNUAL STATEMENT OF THE EQUIT
ABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY;
NEW YORK. JAN. 1st, 181.
Assets, $ll,10,C02;an iiicrenst! of
inore than Tlirctt Million Dollars in
Surplns, $9,22i!,2!Jl-;an increase of
One and Three-quarter Millions of Dol
lars in 115110.
New Business,' 935,170,805: an in
crease of Eiifht and a half Million Dol
lars in 181i0.
Amount paid to Po icy-holilers and
their representatives durini? 1880,
A liberal sin render value in paid-up
insurance Is provided for in all ordina
ry policies, in case of forfeiture.
Tontine Savings Fund Policies may
be terminated at the close cf certain
defined periods, on terms more advan
tageous than upon any other plan.
These policies prove more profitable to
the policy-holder than any other form
Actual examples can be furnished at
the Society's office, of persons bei s in
sured for ten jears, and then upon
terminating their Tontine Polities, re
ceding cash in some instances equal to
tbe.whole of the premiums paid ; iu
others, nearly all.
No technicalities' nor arduous condi
tions in policy coutracts.
Policies incontestable after having
been iu force for three years. All such
incontestable policies will be paid at
maturity, without rebate of interest,
immediately after the receipt at the
Society's ollice in New York of satisfac
tory proofs of death, together with a
valid and satisfactory discharge trom
the parties in interest, mid without re
quiring anyueiav, even lor sixtv or
ninety days, as has been the custom
heretofore, and is t i 1 1 umliI with other
GROCERIES, BOOTS AND SHOES.
THE BOSTON STOKE
STAPLE and FANCY
Provisions, Green, Dried and Canned
Fruits, (,iiH'iis, Glass Wood
BOOTS Axi) SHOES
The Best Brum! of Flour
always on hand.
N. H. -Country Produce taken. All Order!
Cor. Washington Ave. and Tenth St.
CAIRO, : : : : ILLINOIS.
rpiE CITY "NATIONAL BANK
W, P. rtAI.LIDAY, President.
H. L. 11AL1.IDAV. Vlce-Presldftii.
TUOS. W, 1IALLIDAY, Cashier.
I. STAATSTAYI.nll, W. r. HALLtPAT,
BEN HV L. llAI.UDtT, B. U. Cl'XNIN(l!lA,
II. D. WILLIAMSON, STSI'yiN HIHD,
II. H. CANDKK.
Exchange, Coin and Uuited States Bonds
BOUGHT AND SOLD.
Deposllsracelved and a sudoral trnklng biislne!!
fk fv Outfit sent free to those who wish to on
L L. gage In the most pleajiant. and prolltabltt
"la m Ibusliiesa known, Everything new.
f 1 Capital not required. Wo will furnish
V everything, flita day ant1! upwards Is yet
""liy made without aliiylug away from
homo over nlglit.r No risk whatever. Many now
work-w wanted at once. Many a ro making fort
une! a thBbnslmiM. Ladles make a! much aa
mt ,' d"I!K ho5'"ll1 girl! ma an great pay. No.
nno v.no li willing i w0rk fHla to make mure
money ovuty day than ran b niadolnaweek al any
i'ifli "Jw? il J""?, ,n rorttmu. Address II.
HA LLKTT CO., Portland Maipe.
There was a well attended prayer
meeting at the Methodist church last even
ing. Mr. Frank Susanka, nephew of Mr. Al.
Husanka, formerly of this city, but now of
St. Louis, Mo., arrived here yesterday ami
will spend a few days with bis friends ami
The Woman's Christian Temperance
Union will meet at the Reform hall this
afternoon, at three and a half o'clock.
Mrs Wood Rittenhouse is president and
Mrs. Whitcamp was placed upon tlio
witness stand last evening after supper, but
she had not finished telling all she knew
when court adjourned. Her examination
will be resumed this morning.
A communication from our regular
foot so regulur of late cither) Dongola cor
respondent, "Old Trim," may be found
elsewhere. It is replete with interesting
news, sensible suggestions and comments.
A lare crowd was present at the en
tertainment of the loan exhibition last
evening and was well entertained. The
programme, as published in The Bcli.f.ti.v,
was carried out to the letter, and ice cream,
etc., was served to all who desired
it. The chief attractions were, of course,
the many curiosities which are almost daily
being added to from all parts of the city
and even outside of it. The collection is
certainly a grand one and a very valuable
one too, vt Inch it is well to keep guarded at
night after the hall is closed. The interest
in the affair seems to increase every day.
An anti-monopoly league has been
formed in New York by some of the most
prominent merchants and public men, the
object of which is to counteract the influ
ences of the powerful organizations of
capitalists. Its objects are briefly set turth
in the following extract from a circular,
which we received yesterday: "Our prin
ciples: Anti-monopoly. We advocate and
will support and defend the rights of the
many as against privileges for the few.
Corporations, the creation of the state, shall
be controlled by the state. Labor and
capital, allies, not enemies justice for
A splendid addition to every family's
supplies is a bottle of St. Jacobs Oil. It
PKOOfU.MMF. KOK THIS EVE.MNO.
1. Instrumental duet, Sonatina Iluhlan,
Miss Edith Martin and Mrs. Lansden.
2. Song, Twickenham Ferry,
Mrs. W. P. Wright.
Z. Tableau, Mary, Queen of Scotts, receiv
ing the death warrant.
7. Tableau, Last Moments of Mary, Queen
Tableau, Knighting of Sir
b Song, Coming thro' the Rye.
Miss Wintie Dunning.
7. Piano Solo, Taunteta
8. Song, John Anderson My Jo.
10. Reading, Coltirs Saturday nignt
Diuncrfnnu 12 to 2 o'clock.
Doniiola, 111, Feb. 21, 1831.
Knowing that the average newspaper
reader is gratified in reading neighbor
hood news, "Old Trim" presents them with
a small batch of Dongola and surrounding
country news. The long and rather severe
winter, which has furnished the theme for
conversation for all, has about run its
race, and ere many moro issues of the
"Weekly Bulletin," the farmers in
"Egypt" will have cast the seed for the
crop of 1881, when tho hopes and fears of
all, well mixed, will bo the theme for dis
cussion. Many thero be are trembling
with anxiety relative to "Mother Shipton's
prophecy that in 1881 tho world to an end
shall como." Wc say many, because we
know that supersition and ignoranco largely
abound. On our own part, wo look for the
end of tho world with us when the rider
on the pale horse visits us, and we are com
pelled to pass in our checks. Our hopes
are that wo will have a good crop
of all tho cereals, root and
fruit productions of tho land;
and that next year tho tax on dogs may bo
five dollars per dog. Such a regime would
drivo all the worthless dogs out of being,
and then sheep husbandry, which, by tho
way, is tub business for tho farmers of
Union county, might be engaged in without
fearot loss from killing by dogs.
Dot. gold morals, it is said by some, are
improving, ns thero has been only ono at
tempt to murder this winter. Tho man,
William Salzncr, who was so severely
stabbed by Ado Cuhl, got well, and we aro
informed that fifty dollars, as "hush
money," has put a quietus on tho 'Vholo
Tho business prospects of Dongola are
encouraging. Our leading merchants are
bringing on heavy stocks of goods for tho
spring trade, and our farmers all havo a
good per cent, ot their last year's wheat
crop to put on the market, and of course
Flunk Xi-ibuuer lias the money to pay for
the wheat. So, when the roads get good,
wi: aliall liavu lively times
The tax gatherers were with us threo days
last week handing out receipts among the
people. When they left us they carried away
quite a lnii: amount of revenue, leaving
every body hopeful tor the future.
The facilities and advantages of Southern
Illiuois are getting noised abroad and emi
grants are occasionally dropping in
amongst us. A colony of Benedictines,
from West Moreland county, Pennsylvania,
will settle this spring on lands formerly
owned by Captain Uiht, of Wetaug, and
they no doubt will introduce modes of
farming that will greatly benefit tho neigh
boring farmers, if they will copy. Captain
1 light donated them a beautiful elevation
of land adjoining Wetaug, upon which to
erect a church and school building, which
forms i he luu.deusof their colony.
While we do not wish to draw on Cairo's
trade (for we wish to see Cairo flourish) yet,
occasionally, men and women from Alex
ander county come to Dongala, therefore,
fur their special benefit we say, go to Eli
Eddletimn's store if you want bargains.
A full line of everything kept iu a mer
cantile line can be found there, at prices
low enough to suit all.
Our schools are now closing out and
soon we shall miss the familiar faces of
some, who have faithfully labored with our
pupils for two years.
We learn that W. A. Kelley will open
a select school in our public school build
ing about the first of April. Those wish
ing to have a school conducted by a
skilled teacher will do well to avail them
selves of this opportunity.
Though the winter lias been hard, we
must aay, we have had a pleasunt time ot it.
We have read "Horace McLano," "Mrs. D.
Greene," "Kate W ," "Etidymion" and a
thousand other things just to keep from
getting rusty "as it were" and now that
spring is neariy here, though old, we feel
glad, and hope to read "The Bclletin"
for many years to come. "Old Tkim."
A Daughter Rescued.
A Frankfort (Ky.) physician writes:
Some months ago the daughter ot one of
our prominent citizens was pronounced a
hopeless consumptive. She whs very much
reduced iu flesh; terrible cough, her life
gradually wasting away. I recommended
her to use 'l'r. ivvayne's Compound Syrup
cf ud Cherry, which she did. In a
short time she was tree from all cough nn
other symptoms, and is now rosy und
healthy. Price 25 cents and $1 a bottle or
fj buttles $5. The large size is the most
economical. Prepared only by Dr. Swayne
& Son. Philadelphia. Sold by druggists.
An uceuMotial dose of "Swayne's Pills"
should be taken to keep the bowels free.
They are excellent for torpid liver and bil
ious complaints. Sold by all the Cairo
If yi if want to get rid ol pimples, boils,
tetter, i!cc., use "Lindsey's Blood Scorcher."
Sold bv nil druggists.
Wh o eve upon :he firt of nu n, the apple
pressed with specious caut,
Oh what a thousand pities then, that Adam
was not Adamant,
But though by bis false step, we were doom
ed, to life ot endless toil,
One certain eomfirt we can get, to cure
Rhcumati.s Eclectric Oil.
PUT IT TO PROOF.
At a time wiieii the community is flooded
with so many unworthy devices and
concoctions, it is refreshing to
find something that is beneficial
and pure. ISo conscious are the proprie
tors of Dr. King's New Discovery lor the
Consumption of the worth of their reme
dy, they offer all who desire, a trial bottle
free of charge. This certainly would be
disastrous to them did not the remedy pos
sess the reinarkableciirative powers claimed
Dr. King's New Discovery for tho Con
sumption will positively cure asthma, bron
chitis, stubborn coughs, colds, phthisic,
quinsy, hoarseness, croup, or any affection
of the throat or lungs. ..As you valuo your,
existence give this wonderful remedy a trial
by calling on Geo. E. O'llara, Druggist
Cairo, Ills., and obtaining a trial bottle free
of charge, or regular sized bottles,$l. 00.(1)
"Dr. Skllkk's Cormi Svulp" will en
sure you a good night's rest. It is tho best
cough medicine in the market. Price 25
The nakedness of this indigent world,
may be clothed from tho trimmings of the
Sufferers from disordered Stomach, Bil
iousness, etc., can be cured by Spring Blos
som, "Foster, Milbttrn & Co.," Buffalo.
Prices: $1., 50 cents, and trial bottles 10
Florida has n peculiar fly called tho
" horse-guard," which looks like a hor
net. This tly follows tho horses anil
catches tho horse-Hies that settles ou
them, but does not bite tho animals,
A DitninisT says that ho has heard tho
very highest praiso given to Dr. Hull's
Cough Syrup in very many instances--Borne
of Croup. Price 25 rents.
Dr. Kline's Great Ni'rvo Restorer is the
marvel of tho Rge for all Netve Diseases,
All fits stopped free. Send to O.'lt Arch
street, Philadelphia, Pctm.
"Six into four you can't," as the
shoemaker mildly suggested to a lady
Improbable An Irishman on seeing
a very small coflin exclaimed, "Is it
possible that collin was intended for
any living creature?"
Her Choice. A young lady was asked
recently which she preferred of two
brothers.- She responded, "When I am
with either of them I prefer this other."
Sound advice. If you don't want
to be robbed of your good name, don't
havo it engraved on your umbrella or
The sky bus. A little girl, looking
out of the window the other day, saw a
hearse go past, and cried out: "Look,
mamma, hero jjoes the sky bus."
A young lady is gaining groat repu
tation as a violinist. Still she is not
tho only fair ono who has mastered tho
art of handling n beau,
Writing for the papers. He told us
that ho was now regularly engaged as a
writer for one of tho leading dailies.
His honest old mother said, "Writing
covers at fifteen shillings a week."
Save me from my Friends. "Isn't
that your friend. Mrs. S., who is danc
ing there ?" "Yes." "That's a fright
fully ill-mado dress sho has on."
"Yes, but if it wasn't it wouldn't tit
Poor Brutes. Tho brilliant Sophie
Arnould, when she heard of a certain
diplomatist that he had been eaten by
wolves, exclaimed "Poor Virutesl
Hunger must indeed be a terrible thing'.'"
County Callers. It doesn't take long
for a rural neighborhood to find out
what kind of carpvta and furniture a
newly-married pair possesses after the
usual round of formal calls havo been
made by observing women.
Fair dues. "Jarnes, did you divide)
your paper of chocolate with your
brother?'' "Yes, certainly, mamma;
I ate tho chocolate and gavo him the
motto ho is so fond of reading, you
Spoonish. "John," said a doting
parent to her gormandizing son, "do
you really think that you can eat the
whole of that pudding with impunity?"
"I don't know, ma," replied tho
young hopeful "but I can with a
Too Clever. A gentleman, who was
given to boasting, and was apt to make
critical comments on the company
whenever he was invited out, said to
Jerrold: "I dined at the marchioness's
the other day, and, would you believe
it, they had no fish!" Jerrold thought
a moment, and then replied; "Ah. well,
I suppose it was all eaten upstairs."
A generous triumph- "What's wrong
between you and Smythe, that you
don't speak?" "Haw! fact is; wo were
both wivals for the hand of tho same
young lady a celobwated beauty, you
knowl -and well I don't want to bwag,
but I got the best of it. Poor Smythe!"
"My dear fellow, a thousand congratu
lations!" "Thanks awfly! We both
proposed last week, you know, and sho
accepted a -him!" Punch.
Smart for an old maid. Many years
ago, at a dinner-party in Glasgow,
there was present an advocate of rather
sharp practice, fond of giving toasts or
sentiments. After thocloth was remov
ed, and the bottle had gone round onco
or twice, the ladies withdrew to tho
lighter pleasure of the drawing-room
nil but one very plain old maid. Sho
remained behind, und as the conversa
tion began to get a little masculine, our
friend of the "long robe" was anxious
to get rid of the "ancient," and for this
juirpose rather prematurely asked Mr.
rhrumbs the privilege of giving a toast.
This being granted, hn rose and gave
the old toast of "Honest men and hon
nie lassses." The toast was drunk
with all honor, when the dame, who
was silting next to the lawyer, roso
from her seat, gave the lawyer a poke in
the ribs with the end of her linger, and
having said, "Mr. , that toast
neither applies to you nor me," loft tho
Archbishop Bourget, of Montreal,
asks for each man, woman, and
child in bis diocese, which will givo
him f 100,000 toward paying off the debt
of the diocese.
A Dentist's Broken Promise.'
From the London Telegraph.
A well-known Viennese dentist has
got into sad trouble through his ungov
ernable passion for experiment. Some
time ago lm made the aeouaintance of
a young lady, tho aspect or whoso teeth
inspired him with a vehement desire to
improve his assistant's aeipiaintance
with practical dental surgery by giving
the latter an opportunity to extract a
few of them. lie, therefore, persuaded
the young lady in question to undergo a
"brief and painless" operation, on the
ground that her otherwise irreproach
able beauty was marred by certain de
fective teeth, which he proposed not
only to remove, but to replace- gratui
tously by artificial ones of conspicuous
w hiteness ntid brilliancy. Having ob
tained her consent to this arrangement
ho administered laughing gas to her,
and while she was under the influence
of that aniethetic his assistant, with
admirable skill and promptitude, drew
sixteen of her teeth. When she recov
ered her senses rIio was somewhat
startled by tho unexpected extent of
her losses, but being a sensible girl fore
bore wasting regrets upon tho irrepar
able, and limited the expression of her
feeling to a civil domain! for the prom
ised new teeth. These, however, upon
reflection, the dentist (inclined to sup
ply, observing that "she might be very
well satisfied with having so many
teeth extracted for nothing. The pa
tient failing to apprehend the Justice of
is rcJolnTerhM brought her Plaint bo
ore the proper authority, an.l an Aus
trian tribunal will ere long be called
upon to decide whether or not a sur
geon dentist be justified in emptying an
unconscious maiden's mouth of ita
teeth in the interest of science, and for
tho instruction of his assistant.