Newspaper Page Text
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T1IK TWENTY-FIRST ANNUAL STATKMKNT OF THE
EQUITABLE LIFE ASSUIIANCK SOCIETY
OF THE UNITED STATES, 120 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
HENRY 15. HYPE, President.
FOR THE YEAH ENDLNU DECKMUKR 31, 1880.
AMIICNTOF LgUOKH ASsKTH, Jan
Interest and runt
Nut prolll on investment
. $ 8!wn,!i!i7iW
. f f::J tua id;
DISH I' lis K IK N TH.
Claims by deitth tud matured endow
ments. J,5f.7,W;i Si
Dividend, surrender values, and an
nuities iMWUlO 01
Discounted endowment tod matured
tuiilliiB polluius I7H ; m
Total paid policy-holder 4,7W,W7IC
Dividend oo cup 11 7,io im
AKcnclei and cttuiiulssloUR 8-.il, IvTio
l.eueral expense &. .Hi
State, cuuuty and city taxes....... M.MS 711
Net Cash well, Dec. 31. Ixm).. t m,tMt w
Bond and mortgages - I
1 lilted Htatea stock.
State storks, city ilorka. and stocks
authorlr.ed by the law of the state,
of New York m ..
Loans HurureQ by bonds and storks.
Real estate In Nw York and Boston
and purchased ander foreclosure,.
Cah on hand in banka and other die
positorlns on interest and In tranxlt
isliire received i
Dm from agents on account of pre
mium M ,7.4., 47
f W,H.MI W
Market value of atocki and bond
Intereat and rents due and accrued
Premiums tai and In process of
1, Ml, 051,
:ti.t hih m
collcrtinn (less premium paid lu
advance, $ii(iMl) 1M.W Oil
Deferred premlnma n- .fi,MJt :!
Total aet, 31, lS-dl t 'LI !
Total liabilities including legal re
verve or reinsurance of all eilst-
$ ,AM,Sil Ji
Total undivided aurplui
Of which bnlonza (a computed) to
nnhrlf. ia gsneral class i.!l'i,(.l J I
Of which Mont:, (a computed) to
policies Id tontine class ... i.M.;.)0 01
Rusk Assumed In 1880,$:.3,l7ii.i.o:i 00
Risks Outstanding - $177,5!)7,7o.'l 00
MILL AND COMMISSION.
FLOCK. GRAIN AND HAY
Egyptian Flouring Mills
Highest Cash Price Paid for Wheat.
gT. LOUIS, I. M. & SO. KY.
IKON MOUNTAIN ROUTE.
TRAIN LCAVB CA1IUI,
Arkanaaa andTex.i Exprenn .15 a.m. Daily
AlllllVX AT CAIIIO,
Expreaa 2tM m Dully
Airnmmodation 3:i p.m. Daily
Ticket office: No. M Ohio Levee.
U. D. MILBL'HN, Aaent.
ILLINOIS CENTRAL li. R.
Shortest and Quickest Route
St. Louis .ml Chicago.
The Only lane Running
Making Dikect Connection
Tiuitti Lbati Caiiui:
3:1 nam. Mail,
Arriving In St. Loula fl:4R a.m. : Chicago, 8:30 p.m. ;
Connecting at Odin and Kltlnuhain for Cincin
nati, Loulavlllu, Indlanupolit and points Hunt.
11:10 a.m. Bt. Ijouin and AV(jtm
Arriving In Rt. Loula 7:05 p. m,, and connuctini!
for all poluta Weat,
t:ao p.m. Fust Exprpa.
lor St. Loula and Chicago, arriving at St. Louii
10:40 p.m., and Chicago 7:!i0 a m
4-.HO p.m. Cincinnati Kxprosis.
Arrlvinu at Cincinnati 7:00 a.m.! Lonnvlllo 7:2(1
a.m.; Indiananolla 4:00 a.m. Paangra hv
th'" ? r"?ch 'ho abovo nolnti 1 U to 30
11UU118 in advauco of any other route.
mi1?? P7P"M hM PULLMAN
HLKErlNO CAK Cairo to Cincinnati, without
changea, and through aloepera to St. roula and
Fast Time Kaat.
X aapuilUlS ern polntg wlthont any delay
canaad by Sunday Intervening. The Satiirdiy after-
uuiru it.iti iruiu vmni nmvua la now Xork Mnnriiiv
mnrntnir.tin.su Tl,l,ii,..l i ",m"na"
Thlrty-al houraln advance of
ny outer ronte.
tari'offtirough ticket and further Information,
apply at Illlnola Central Ilallroad Diipot, Cairo. '
Oon . Southern Agent Ticket Aaent
A.U. 11 AN SON, Ocu. Paw, Agent. Chicago.
Krutii the iitKli vi'ltMl surplus, reversionary divi
dends will liu ili'i-lnrcd, available on settlement of
next uunual pr tnluin, to ordinary participating
The valuation of the pollclca outstanding haa
been made, mi tlm American experience table, the
i' s'u iHiuimini 111 inn mnin hi ,cw Turk.
i W. I'llll.l.ll'H, I . , .
.1. (i. VAN I INK. JActiiarl.-t.
W 11. the iiiidi Mltfiii d, have, In peraon, carefully
examined tin: ac-dnuiin. u, l oimted and examined
in detail the ael of the aoclety, and certify thai
the foreuiiig HiHtenieni thereof in correct.
HKNMM.rON K KANDOLI'U,
.IAMKS M. HAI.STKI),
THOMAS A cr.MMINM,
IlKMtY H. TKU11KLL,
Special Cnininlttee of the Board of Director,
appointed Oct. i7. Ishii to xamino the anaeta
and ai cntintH at the cluae of the year.
llenrv H . Ihdu. .Itlllll A. Stewart
iKiriie 11. Morgan,
Oei.rjn T. Adi 11.
John I) donen.
Hubert l.i nox Kennedy,
biiiinry M. Depew,
II iijaiinii Wllllamaon,
Henry SI. Alexander,
K. Iliiudliiot Colt,
Thnmaii A Diddle,
ienrge W. ( arlelon,
(ieorgtj ( Kelln,
.lum f Navarro,
lollll i. MeCnok,
Mephen II. 1'hllllpn,
Smiiiiel W. Turrey.
Aleiiinili-r 1. lrvin,
I . De Witt Cuvler,
Lim n Kiti;eriilil,
WIMUm .V. Hlliir.
Satiiin-I (. (iomlrlch .
llenrv A. Iliirlout.
llenrv t NpHiililing,
Willinm II. Kou'g,
W illililll A. tt htidiiek,
U'lllinni 1.. i.tmln rt,
Janiea W. Ali xaiidi r,
llenrv S. Terbi II
Thniua H. VoiU'i!.
Tboniim . 1 iiimiiliip,
Dmilel D. Lord,
.lamer- M llalnii-d,
llnrucH J rt 1-r .
(Iwiird W Lambert.
II. K. Katiduliih,
.John Sio be,
Allte (in ell.
llenrv V. Hutler.
eorae II. Stewart,
JAMES W. AF.EXAXDEU. Vire Prc.'t.
SAMUEL iiOKKOWE, 'M Vict- IWt.
E. W. Iitnl). rr, M. II.. E.iw'.l Curtis, M. I).
E. V. Si;ott, SiipLTiritenduut of AgcucieH.
North Wcti'm I)ipHrtincnt.
i" lb arhorn Street, ( bifn.'o.
W. N. I'lt.VINE, (Jcni ral JUnaL'iT.
E. A. LL'RSKTT. At't'iit.
Muyor-N. H. ThiiUlewood.
Clerk- Ditinla. J, KhIt.
Coiitielor--Wm. II. (iltbert.
Marnbal J II, Itobtiiinin
mi a no or ALiixnaan.
Klrnt Ward-M. .1 Howler. IWr SBiin
Second Ward-David T. Llnegar. .lenne Hlnklc
Thlra Ward-Kglwirt Smith. It. K. itlnkn.
Fourth Ward-Charlea O. i'atler, Adolpb Swo-
Kllth Ward-T. W. Hallidav, Krner-t B. Pettlt.
( Ircult Jmliit D. J. linker.
Circuit Cletk-A. II lrvin.
County Juili 1. s. Viicum.
I ounty Clerk -.S. J. Hiimm.
' ounty Attornvr J. M. Damron.
Coiinlv Treiir r-Milee W. I'arker.
Sheriff John Ilodtrea.
Coroner- It. r'itzi'erail..
u?.'"'ly Commir-tonem-T. W. ilalllday, J A
M. Oibha.l Samuel Brlley.
I Hk; 31 AILs.
(4KAL "KI',,V1;l!Y "I'" .:0a.m.;clor-ei
va I:' p. m , Sunday; K to 9 a. m.
ittp'oi1'"1" Department Pcn t 8- m.i Clou
Thrnudh Expreaa Maim via Illlnoli Central 3.40
MifHimlppi Ceutral Kallroadf doae at 9 p. m.
MnMatTp mPlUr B'Uff ThrouKtl Dd wr M"
Way Mall yia IlMiHii. Ontral. Cairo and Vln
:r4l"p''m"U '"""M'1'1 ('t,ut'l Kallroadiicloiic at
Way Mall Tor Narrow Gauge Railroad clone at
" ''0 I . lit,
Cairo and Evannville River Kouto cloiei at 2 30
p. m. dsliy (except Friday).
M. K. Filllrtnonth atraut kihu...
Walnut and Cedar NtriM-la- ai.pvfrna SnM.at. n
a. m. ami 7 :.Tp. m.; .Sunday SrhiMil l:,to p. m.
ftlM-RCH Or" THE REDKEMKR (Eplacopal)
Konrteetith treet; Suiiday Morning prayer
I0::ttl a. m.j evetiliiir tirByer. 7:311 p. m.; Sunday
choo .:to a. m. Friday evening prayer 7:30 p. m.
IMRST MISSIONARY IIAPTIST CUURCU.
I 1'reachlniiat 10:HOa. m., 3 p. m and 7:30 p. m.
Siiblmth chool at 7:30 p. m. Rev. T. J. Shore,
f L'TH BR AN Thirteenth atreet; crvlt,ci Sab
I J hath 1 :m a. m. ; Sunday achoot 2 p. m. Kev.
MKTHODIST-Cnr. Klyhth and Walnut mrecttj
Preaching Hahhatb 10:.) a. in. and 7 p.m.;
Srnycr meeting, Wednecdav 7:) p. m.; Sunday
chool, 9 a. m. Rev. Whlttakcr, pftHtor.
I)KESHYTERIAN Klghlh atreet: preaching on
1 Siilibnth hi 11:0(1 a. m. and 7:30 p. m.; prayer
miiellng Wedneaday at 7:3') p.m.; Hmiday School
t 3 p. m. Rev. B. V. Ueurju, pantor.
CECOND FREE WILL HAPTIST - Flftcetth
O street, betwuuu Walnut and Cedar street; er
vice Sabbath at 3 and 7:30 p. in.
CT. JOSEPirs-fKntnan Catholic) Corner Cro
U and Walnut street; service Sabbath 10:3Oa.
n. ; Sunday School at 2 p. m. ; Vesper 3 p. m. ; r
nee every day at S p. m.
OT. PATRICK'S Roman Catholic) Corner Ninth
street and Washington avenue; services Sab-
h H and 10 a. m. ; Vesper 8 p. m. j Snuday SrhiMil
priest! "urvlcuB uvurv ll"Jr l 8 m-Iluv- MiwU'loit
W0ioNNi!,.tI"!,ST,AN TKMPERANCK UN
thn biill r i 10,., H,11" fegular weekly meeting In
orv T bur., 1 l.or" Tu,l'eranrn HeYorni Club, ev
cry i inirsilay allenioon, at 3 :3U o'clock Kvurv.
body ialuvlted to attend! "cock. Jivcry-
Q.E0RGE II. LEACH, M. D.,
Pliysicinn ami Surgeon.
Special altentlon paid to the Ilomoopnthlc treat,
meut of surgical dlseBse, and dlseasu of womun
Olllce: No. 1" Eighth "trout, near Commorclal
avenue, Cairo, III.
JJU. E. W. WIIITLOCK,
Ornoi No, 13A Commorclal Avenna, between
Eighth and Ninth St reel
J)R. "W. C. JOCELYN,
OFB"ICE-Klghth Street, near Commercial Avenue.
CAIRO. ILLINOIS. TUESDAY
NOTICEABLE POINTS IN THE 21st
ANNUAL STATEMENT OF THE KOUT
AL'LE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY;
NEW YORK. JAN. 1st, 1B81.
Assets, $H,10H,C()2;an increase of
more tliuii Three jnilimi Hollurs in
Surjilus, 39,2211,294; au increase of
One and Three-tjuurter Millions of'DoI
New Business, 835,170,805: an in
crease of Eiffht and a half Million Dol
lars in 1880.
Amount paid to Po iey-holders and
their representatives durin? 1880,
A liberal surrender value in paid-up
insurance is provided for in all ordina
ry jMilicies, in case of forfeiture.
Tontine Savings Fund Policies may
he terminated at the close of certain
defined periods, on terms more advan
tageous than upon any other plan.
These policies prove more profitable to
tho K)liey-holder than any other form
Actual examples can be furnished at
the Society's office, of persons being: in
sured for ten years, and then iinon
termiiutin? their Tontine Policies, re
ceiving cash in some instances equal to
the whole of the premiums paid; in
others, nearly all.
I"o technicalities nor arduous condi
tioHisin policy contracts.
I'olicies incontestable after having
bet n in force for three years. All such
incontestable policies will be paid at
maturity, without rebate of interest,
immediately after the receipt at the
Society's office in New York of satisfac
tory proofs of death. K'ether with a
vali id and satisfactory discharge trom
th( parties in interest, and without re-
qulrinir any delay, even for sixty oi
ninety days, as has been the custom
heretofore, and is still usual with other
"2 . o
QAIRO CITY FERRY CO.
TUREE IsHJ, STATES.
(n and after Monday, Juno 7th. and until lurther
notice tho ferryboat will make trip aa follows:
LHAVEk LKAVBB LBAVIR
Pot Fourth t. Missouri Land'g. Kentucky Ld'g.
8:00 a.m. 8:30 a. m. H a. m.
lH:00a. m. 10:0a. m. 11 a.m.
:00 p.m. 2:30 p.m. 8 p.m.
4 ;00p.m. 4::lp.m. 5;iX)p. m.
2 p.m. 2:30 p.m. 3 p. m
rpiIE CITY NATIONAL BANK
W. P. HALLfDAY, President.
H. L. UALLIDAY, Vice-President.
THUS, W. UALLIDAY, Cashier.
aiiiVi VUO !
. AATiTATW(ll, W. . HALI.mAT.
I J. -.AU,n,T' ".OtTHKINOIIAII,
D. WILLIAMSON, arlPMlII 1HD.
Exchange, Coin and United States Bonds
BOUGHT AND BOLD.
6on.ur.tud. . bsitaiuH i.usi
plORNINO, MARCH 8, 1881.
THE FUNDI NO RILL.
Proniilont liny eg rcfiiHi'il, wisely wo
belie-vo, to si'ii tho funding bill as pnssml
ly congress. Tint obji-ctioiiBblcfoaturo of
tint lull, tin) (mi! to which the president
specially objected wits tho llfth sertion
which was mi ptirt of a funding bill, but
was tacked on f(r some inncrutublu pur
Imisc knmvn only to the represcntHtives ot
thu neonle at Wiisliinirton. It I
n " h
a law would have been unjust to the banks,
find tliroiiii tlisio disastrous to the coun
try. A yren.t many of the national banks
favored the pwsagti of the funding bill,
without this section, we know the City
National bank of Cairo vii9 aiming
thoso that favored its passage,
but under the fifth section
which aa wo before said is uo er-seiitiitl
part of a funding bill, very few if any new
national banks could bo organized and n
great many of tlwmo now existing would bu
driven out of business. The withdrawal of
their circulation and winding up of the af
fairs of even a part ol them would not fail to
prove disastrous to tho business of the
No far sighted business trtnn coul I have
done otherwise than the officers of the City
National Bank of Cairn, and other national
banks have done, in withdrawing a part of
their circulation and taking up their secur
ities before the noose formed by this nth
section should have tiirhened into a chok
ing condition, and yet no strictly business
transaction has been subject to trreater
abuse by press and public.
The banks, as well as business men and
legislators, see the necessity of a righteous
law for refunding the public debt soon to
fall due, but uo one desires that it should
imperil or impair the usefulness of the
national bank system (and thereby defeat
its own purpose) by depriving them of the
privilege ot securing their circulation with
any kind of government bonds they may
elect and confining them strictly to the
cheapest as did tho fifth section of the
bill which President Hayes wisely refused
REAL ESTATE CHANKES.
Samuel Bradshaw to John II. Foster;
lease, dated March 5ih, 1881, on two acres
in southwest corner of southwest quarter,
section thirty, town sixteen, range twenty
one. W. W. Luttrcll to Charles Gayer; special
warrantee, dated March 7th, 1881, on lot
forty, block twenty-six, in city of Cairo.
Consideration eight hundred and fifty dol
lars. George Koehler and wife to Charles
Eichliotf; special w arrantee deed, d:ited Pel).
24th, 1SS1, on lots three and four, block
three, in first addition to the city ol" Cairo.
Consideration one bund'ed dollars.
George Koehler and wifo to Catherine
Eichhofi; special warrantee deed, dated
February 21th, lSl,tor lot eighteen, block
eighteen, in first addition to the city of
Cairo. Consideration one hundred dollars
Kauo, March 7th, 1881.
I see by the payper you are needin' a
good boy for to lern printin', line your
boy, i kan't eddit a paypir yet verry good,
but i bieve i kood in a littel time ef you
giv me a show maik as good politikal ed
ditur as the big man that runs tho Pur
lasky I'aytrot, I wood like to wurk of nites
and hunt up noans in daylite, i wey nigh
onto 2 hunderd an kin thro' eony feller nv
my wait, jump a hyer fence au1 rim faster
than any chap in the Proniis Land, whar i
liv. i ncvir run from a Dte an' will stan'
rite up to you ef enny feller has a fallin"
owt with yer, ilo allers be on hand in a
w, ef tharbc sum ov yure ladco kores-
pondcntsbildin' hornets nests 'bowt yure
bed. l tel you the men folks wont hcv a cost
ova show figiu yer when hue in kallen
distance, ime too ov the not in mi ilnne.
trict, but then yu needen't bo a feerd ov me
for imc as inner-cent an tender harted as a
lamb an kin be tho best frend a teller rver
hed if i don't git riled, then look out. yu
an mo wont hev ennv ruMul f7. .11111
full ov amliisbun an want to do rite ever
time, illio WUU OV tho best farm liatida l
rekken yu ever see an i blevo i kood sunt)
git up a first klass aggrikkultooral kollum.
Mr. lsuLLETTtN nleso civ mo a show: idu
wurk nnty cheep, fur mio tired farmen an
want to change ofi". i aint marrid yit, but
imo ingaged an will see ef she wont wait
until yu promote- mo to edditur when she
ken be mity prowd ov her Isac. Ansur in
your payper an ilo kum a runnin. xcuse me
lur not seem yu but imo a lectel timniid.
and' thawt i kood ask yer better in rltin,
that s tho way i asked her pap an' it wurk
cd like a charm, then mi looks is sort ov
fur neust mo an' l thawt best to keep owt
ov site, fur imo a singed cat & show up bet
ter as yer no mo. hopein' to beer frum
yer, rite a wey ime yu rein. I. C. Sites.
post krip. nil duds will all rmk in mi
big red handkercheef an' wont take long
to Red rcuay if yuro in a hurrv. Mister
RobbertB of mound citty noes me an' may
bo will say a good wurd fur me. 8o dona
mister joy, aud I hev sco that man kawled
Maok. owcr politics mcy notagrcobut
thats nutlicr hecr nur thare.
A Sensible. Precaution.
Though disease cannot always be con
quered, its first approaches can Imi checked.
Jlut not only is the iihii ot it medicinal safe,
.nurd to li ri'comnii'iiiled on the first ap
pearance of a malady, but a wise discrimi
nation should bo cxi-i'eised in the choice of
a remedy. For thirty years or more Hos
tetter's Stomach- l!;tteis has been the reign
ing specific fr ily.-pcpsia, fever and ague,
a loss of physical stamina, liver complaint
and other disorders, uinl has been most em
phatically indorsed hy medical men as a
health and strength restorative. It is in
deed a wise precaution to use this sover
eign lortifymg agent mid ulteiative in the
early stages of disease, for it eirertually
counteracts it, if the inalody belongs to
that large class to which this'aterling med
icine is adapted. Not only is it efficacious,
but pure and harmless.
A farmer named Smiley, living near
Erie, scratched his linger with a nail and
it was found necessary to amputate his
arm abovo the elbow, hut even this
proved unavailing, and ho died in crcut
A casn of niiseogenation has eomn to
light at Cleveland. Samuel Oswald,
colored, married Mamie Malier, a beau
tiful white girl of 19 years, la.st May. The
inarnag was disclosed during a quar
rel between Oswald and John Maher,
the girl's brother. Mamie is tho daugh
ter of a well-to-do stone mason. She
was a Catholic church member, but her
church excommunicated her. Oswald
is a well-paid employe of a leading
photograph gallery. The parents of
Mamie will try to annul tho marriage.
Mrs. Julia Hawthorne has been writing
to Harper's Iltizar describing the meth
ods of work at tho South Kensington
school of art needle-work in London.
Tho designs for tho school, she says,
are niiulii by tho fust artists in England
as a hilior of love, and tho treasures of
antique needle-work gathered together
in tho South Kensington and other
museums ate freely loaned for their
benefit. Tho ladies connected with it
are always on the search for new designs
or stitches, and modern work from Jap
an, India, Turkey, and Greece is
brought over to aid their invention or
give them new hints in coloring. Ono
lady was engaged upon tho last of eight
pairs of curtains, which have occupied
her for three years. These are for the
music-room of a large house in London,
und cost $M0 a pair! Tho body of tho
curtain is of dark blue velvet, the bor
der of paler blue satin, with a design
chiefly in applique work of two darker
shades of blue velvet, outlined in gold
bullion, and arabesqued with gold
iiirean. i lie more delicate parts of tho
design were in silks of various shades of
yellow. Tho gold thread used in tho
school is all imported from Japan, that
being the only kind which does not
tarnish. J'he cold bullion cord, which
is about tho thickness of the largest
piping-cord, is, by a lato invention,
lacquered, thus preserving its bright
ness In another small room aro the silks,
crewels, and gold threads used in the
work, arranged in shallow drawers,
"Lady Gordon said, when we remarked
what a delight the colors alone gave-,
that on foggy days, or when she felt de
pressed, sho had these drawers opened
for her, and the exquisite gradations
and tones of color induced such a
thoroughly happy slate of mind that it
carried her triumphantly through tho
day." This last touch is really delici
ous in its glimpse into tho mental at
mosphere of British aristocracy.
''Made New Again."
Sr. C.uiiAKiNks, Out.
R. V. Pierre. M. D .:
1 have used your favorite Prescription,
Golden Medical Discovery und pleasant
Purgative Pellets, for the last three months
and lind inysi l, -(what shall I say)
"made new again," are the only words that
express it. 1 was reduced to a skeleton.
could not walk across the iloor without
fainting, could keep nothing the shape of
food on my stomach. Myself and friends
had given up all hone, mv immediate l,..iili
seemed certain. I can never lie too thank
ful to those who recommended your inedi
cincs, lor I now live (to the surprise of
every body) and am able to do my own
. .. u r i .: . i. ., '
iiii. i iii sire to imtKC 1 us statement' in
order that thoso siillcring may not despair
until tney nave given your remedies a trial
Mrs. W.M. I). Rvckman.
Mothers! Mothers!! Mothers!!!
Aro you disturbed at iiiidit and Im.ken
of your rest by a sick child sullerlng am)
crying with the excruciating pain of cutting
teeth i If so, ro at once and tret a Imttln of
Mrs. Winslow's Soothimr St rut). h will
relieve the poor litllo sufferer immediately
depend upon it; there is no mistake
about it. There is not a mother on earth
who has ever used it. who will not tell vmi
at onco that it will regulate tho bowds,
and give rest to the mother, and relief and
health to the child, operating like iniigic.
It is perfectly sate to use in all cases, nml
pleasant to the tostc, and is the prescrip
tion of ono of the oldest and best female
physicians and nurses in the United Stales.
Sold everywhere. 25 cents a bottle.
"On. Skm.ku's Coutui Svitii'" will en
sure you a good night's rest. It is the best
cough medicine in the market. Price 25
"Re-fol-do Kiddle I How well I feel!"
chimed an elderly bachelor foil
ing. "That Thomas' Eclectric Oil seems to
have cr.red my lumbago completely. I
feol as if I wero young again and believe
I'll ask tho widow to have mo." Ho did
bo, was accepted and is now tho happy
parent of a fine hoy. Paul G. Scliub, Ag't.
A Good Study.
Tho proper study of mankind is man,
aim mo proper euro lor sick Headache und
Biliousness is Spring Blossom. Prices: $1.,
fit) cents, and trial buttles 10 ceuts.
Tie Amateur Farmer
I dreamt of a beautirul time
When the world sliall happy be;
When tho elrptmnts and hyenas
Shall blomoin on every tree;
When tamarinds anil potatoe
Shall reime their dreadful roar;
When turnip tree shall bloaaom
In the tranlen for ever more.
I dreamt of a jrreat republic-
When tlm people sliall all go West,
So 4 1 1 1 1 in a ti in I reap tomatoes
In tin) land they love the bests
When ijt Iron ami molluscs
Shall liliiniii on every hill,
Ami chickens low In the barnyard,
While Konselicrriea toil at the mllL
I'm weary of seclnfr the cabbage
Handle the rake unl the hoe;
I'm weary of nairnlng unit waiting
For the grasshopper buah to grow.
I long fur the time when spinach
Shall rope with bread and milk;
When hens shall lay potatoes,
And horses spin raw kilk.
Oh! aweot were the vanished hottra
When I wandered down the glen,
Ami wreathod my brow with tomatoes,
Or plucked tho ripened hen;
When tho donkey twined up the trolli,
Ami the encumber chirped In tho graas,
And tho sweet potato whistled
To its mate In tho mountain pas.
But gone aro the day of childhood,
And iiiiiiiIiihmI's il reams are mine;
Yet I lung lor the by-gone houra,
Aa I ait 'nenth this Turkish vine.
Oh! wreuthe your blossoms about me,
And sooth my aching breast;
While gooseberry plaintively warblea
And lulls me Into rest.
A busy retail grocer,
Whom we all uroly know, air,
Wa asked one day in a friendly way,
By a country chap who had come to stay
Till the mail camo In at close of day,
"What are your grosa receipts, alt?"
"lie, hcl ha, ha! ho, hoi air,"
Laughed the busy retail grocer,
Aa ha pointed out, with laugh and shout,
The barrel and boxes ranged about,
"You can plainly see, beyond a doubt,
hat are my grocery seats, lrt"
Cannibals sometimes have their neigh
bors at dinner.
Boston girls never hang up their
stockings; an exchange says that thoy
suspend their hosiery.
Old Nickelpineh says ho has often
seen men buck the tiger, but for his
part be would rather buckwheat cakes.
Be not cast down, impecunious sir;
there is a plenty of good things in store
for you. All you need is the money to
get them out.
Dr. Swing says that in time women
will develop into angels. No ono was
ever bold enough to accuse man of any
intentions in that direction.
To the query of a Danbury dentist
to an applicant for a new sot as to what
sort ot teeth she wanted, she said,
"Something that won't show dirt."
"Alliance oyster buyer" is the latest
designation for a girl's young man.
Tho name will bo changed to "engaged
ice cream purchaser" ia the summer.
Tho worst about kissing a Pittsburg
girl is that you carry tho marks of coal
dust about your noso and other features
till von reach tho nearest pump.
Hunt nylon JlttiriCie.
A Northern paper praises the "In
dian Hair Restorer." Ho is a fraud.
No Indian was ever known to restore
any hair, lie tiles it away as a certifi
cate on which to draw rations from
A young man, while out searching for
bis father's pig, accosted an Irishman
as follows: "Have you seen a stray
pig about here?" Pat responded:
"Faix, bow could I tell a stray pig from
A Milwaukee policeman has fallen
heir to JGO.OtMi. and every female conk-
on his beat wants him to keep his prom
ise at once, am! he wonder linw Im'n
going to avoid alnrnt fifty breach of
"Give me the hand Unit will nv.p
deceive mo," said a young Ilnrmelito
in mo presence oi some young ladies
tho other evening. "I truest)." aaid a
young lady, "a straight flush is tho
only kind or n hand you want."
Re looted lovers need never Hesniiir.
There aro four-and-twenty hours in a
uny, ami not a moment in tno twenty
four in which a woman may not change
nor mum. jc fcnou.
Georgia is gradually arranrrinjr a mil-
leniiiiim of its own. The iinw (YinuiL
tut ion of that State nruvlde thiit tli
I .en-is bit urn shall meet lint nnen In twit
years, and then sit but forty days.
Herr Reulaux, a German writer, has
described an elevated wooded valley in
tlm KMiIiwi Penvlni'n In wlid'h tba n.d.
II1U .,11111V . .' Ill- ... - S . I
sage of the wind produces musical tones
wonderfully liko tho chiming of bolls.
Thcv were walkinc hv tlm sonsiiln
und lift siirlicil and she Micrlieili ml ulwi
- r t - . ...... , .. . huv
wils bv his side, and ho hv Imr sbln an. I
they were both beside themselves, bo
sido hcin r at the Henaldn. vvluve yh
sighed and ho sighed.
The Exstern nenltent!
phia, contains an intcrcstinsr orUonoi.
in thu ncrson of onn (inn e:..i
VVood ward, when a boy, was eno-ared
in cnttlo raising with his parent, in
Onto, and eavlv rlovnl,i,n,i ..
querablo propensity for horso-steallng.
1 his brought him many years ago to
wncre be is now, but at the expiration
of his sentence his friends set him up
in nusiness, wnien Mie afterwards reim
quishod in favor of his favorite pursuit,
and again he returned to Jail for thir
teen years. Although lie has no hands,
only stumps, lie Is so clever a workman
that ho surpassed all the other convicts,
and when he had saved f 200 ho tent for
a lawyer, who contrived to get him
pardoned, and again he was started in
business. Hul he has been at it again
In bis old line, though apparently un
der legal advice. He stole a whole
dmv from a Dolawui-n entintv h.ma.
- aw. .uvi,
and the low price at which he offered
tho animals lu PuiludclpHu led to bU