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THE DAILY CAIRO BULLETIN.
THE TWENTY-FIRST ANNUAL STATEMENT OF THE
EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY
OF THE UNITED STATES, 1:20 RROADWAY, NEW YORK.
HENRY R. HYDE, President.
FOR THE YEAR ENDING DECEMBER 81, 1880.
AnotmTor LinoiBAssrrs, Jan. 1.
low n 8',,fsO,W7M
In I rent aud renin
Not profit uu Investment ,
Claim, by death and matured endow
ment! . Mfl.AM
Dividends, surrender value, and an-
Discounted endowmeut and niaiurud
toiitlue policies..... ITH'.Mf
ToUl paid policy-holder! $ 4,7!.ifl7 !T
Dividend on ciptal 7.0no(m
Agencies and oumwlwlous K-21,4-T
General ciienaes bwti.MM tin
Bute, county and city lai'.i hH.MS 7"
Set cash assets, Dee. 81. IS) t 3A..HM W
Bondi and mortgages .fCVJ.47rr
lotted State stocks .M3.!wl l
Btate stocks, city stocks, aud stoks
authorized by tie laws of the slaui
ofSewVork - '. "
Loins semreo by bonds and stx ..ts.l.S'i.' y
Real estate In New fork and Huston
aud purchased under foreclosure.. MwCViS W
(' on hand In hanks and ether de
positories n intercut enl in tranu
Dus frnm agents on account of pre
I.KI. o, z
$ .is.. K-lt irj
Market value of stocks and bond,
Interest and rents due and accrued SM.S0S w
Premiums due and in process of
collection iiess premiums paia in
advance, $oi.(r.il ) .
Deferred premium! - -
Total assets, Dec.31.lssn I LW'.' J
Total liabilities including legal re
serve for remsurauce of all .exist
IliS policies t 11-'-W II
Total undivided surplus f H,i,iM .'1
Of which belongs (a computed) to
paUr.les ib general class i.&IVM 2
Of w hich belongs (aa computed to
policlea in tmitlne class l.is.'..:J'tn 0 1
Risks Assumed in 1 itilO, S 1 To.itO", 00
Risks Outstanding - 177,ri!7,7o:j 00
MILL AM) COM MISSION.
FL0CR. GRAIN AND HAY
Highest Cash Price Paid for Wheat.
gT. LOUIS, I. M. & SO. RY.
rwV v -y ryr tat
IRON MOUNTAIN ROUTE.
TRAIN, LIAVI CAIRO,
Arkansas and Texas Expreaa 11 Y a.m. Daily
aUKIVk AT C'AIHo.
Eipn aa 'i a in DaMy
Accommodation 3 :M p ni. Daily
Ticket ofllce: No. 6SOhlo Leve.
H. II. MILBL'KN, Agent.
ILLINOIS CENTRAL R. R.
Shortest and Quickest Route
St. louis and Chicago.
The Onlv Lane Running
9 DAILY TRAINS
Making Direct Connection
Trains Liati Cairo:
3:15 m in. Mail,
Arrlvlnn In 8t. LouU 9:45 a.m. : Chicago, 8:30 p.m.!
Connecting at Odin and Urtlngham for Cincin
nati, Loulavlllo, Indianapolis aud points Eaat.
11:10 a.m. 8t. I.ouIb ami WfBtern
Arriving In Bt.Lnnli 7:03 p. m., and connecting
or an puiuia nvev.
4:SO p.m. I'liat Kxprpns.
tnrRt. Loula and Chicago, arriving at St. Louis
t0:40 p.m., and Chicago 7 :D0 a.m.
4:ao p.m. Clmilnnnti Kxprnsa,
Arriving at Cincinnati 7:00 a.m.; I.ouisvlllo T:
a.m.: Indianapolis 4:00 a.m. l'aaaengers bv
uMituu . th! bnvo J,ln," 1 U to 3tJ
iiuuns in advance of any other routu.
vfymS??? nipress has PULLMAN
hLhEPINU CAR Cairo to Cincinnati, without
changes, and through sleepers to St. touts and
Fast Timo Kast.
PllSSPTlWI'S hj thl (to through to East.
a 1 7 . e.rn p" nu IUiout any delay
ansed by Sunday Intervening. The Hatnrdav after
noon train from Cairo arrives In new York aiondav
morning at 10:. Thlrty-aU hours In advanceof
ny other route.
t& For through tickets and further Information,
pplr at Illinois Contral Railroad Depot, Cairo.
J AS. .I01IN80N, J. II. JON KH,
. en. Houthern Agent Ticket Agent,
i. U. HANSON, Uud. I'MS, Agent. Chicago.
From t Iik undivided aurplua. reversionary divi
dend will bo declared, available on aettlemont of
next annual priuiluro, to ordinary participating
The valuation of the policies outitanding has
been made on the American experience labia, the
legal siauaura or vim hint iri-w York,
H. W. PHILLIPS, ) .
J (J. VAN CISK. Actuarlrt.
We. thu unileralifni d, have. In peraon. carefully
examined the areuuuia, and counted aud eiamined
in detail the aaauta of the aoclety, and certify that
the foregoing itaiHiiifliit thereof li rnrrert.
BENNINiiTON K. HANDOLI'U,
AM K 11. IIALSTKD.
TIIUM AS A (1 ; MM I N.I,
IIKNKY 8. TKUBtLL,
Special Commlttw of the bourd of Director,
appoint det. n. 1HH0, to examine the aaae'.a
and account! at the clone of the ytar.
IlenrvB II vile. J-ihn A. Wewart,
leurt-e I). Muryan, John I) donea,
-:irit T. Aih e, Hubert I.eimx Kenni dy,
llriiry A. llurlliiit. Cliaurir.y M. iJepew,
Id nrv K hpaiildinii, " ujaiinu Wllllainaon,
William II. Ym, II inry M. Alexander,
William A. Vhuel(Kk, William Walker,
J'urker IlnDdy. Henry Day,
Willium ,,. I,,m,, rt, K. Iloailiuot Colt,
Henry (i Mari iai d Thoniaa A . Kiddle,
JameaW. Aii lander, (ienrge W. Carleton,
llei ry S. Terhell deorgeti. Keiln,
1'botuaaS. Vnunir. Ji)e t Navarro,
Tlinniax A ' ii m iij i nx , John J MrCix.k,
U'.bert Itlia., W. Whltewrlk'ht.
Di.ni.1 l. I.nnl, Stephen 11. I'hlllipa,
lamea.M ll med, llluel W . Torrey,
Hi. rare l'urt.-r. I.harlea r. Landoa.
Kdw-ardW l.nntn ri, haiiiael llolmea,
I). V. Kaiiilolnh. Theodore Wraton.
AiHiiai.n Trnl;. Alexander I, lrvin,
John sirru... T. De Witt I'uylir,
A'tilii'Min en. I.hU'b Kitziserald,
htiinuel Iturrime, William M. Hliaa.
Ili-nry V. liutUr, William Alexander.
teorh'e II. Mewart, hamuel (i. Oooilrlch.
JAMES W. ALEXANDER. Vice I'res't.
HAMUEL HORROWE, 2d Vice I'res't.
Mclir tl Kxaniiucr:
E. W. Ltmlx rt, M. D KdwM Curtis, M. D.
E. V. Scutt, Sucrintimdt:iit of Ajjcncit-8.
North Wc-iti.-rn D piirtmcnt.
I' Di-arlmrn Sir.-i t. t'hicaL'o.
W. N. CRAINE, (i;ii. rai Mana-'tr.
K. A. Rl'UXETT. Acent,
(.';iin i. Illinois.
rn k M.ui.
F.NKKAL IlKI.IVKin open . :i a. m. ; clo,es
J H:J p m.; 'anday: toil a. m.
Moi.ey lirin r Department opeu at 8 a. m.; closes
t .1 p. m.
Through Eipreaa Malli via Illinois Central:!. 40
Miaalaaippl Central Itatlrnads dote at 9 p. m.
Cairn aud I'oplar HlutT Through and Way Mall
dual a at 1 p. m.
Way Mall via rillnoia Central. Calm and Vln
eenii. a an4 Mlra.raippi Central Railroad, clone at
I : t.'i p . in .
Way V,:: fcr Nurruw Gauge Kaiiroad cloaei at
9 ' . In.
:roai.d Kvansviile River Route cloes at S:S0
9 m. diliv texiept Krldayi.
4 FKICAN M E. -Fourteenth street, betwean
I V H aii. ut and Cedar streets: aervlfea Habbath 11
a. m. and 7:'i p. m ; Sunday School 1 :30 p. m.
pill-KCH OK THE KKDF. EM ER Eplscopal)
Fourteenth street; hundav Morning p rarer,
,0;' m : evening prayers. 7:4i p. m.; Sunday
school :ii a. m. Friday evening prayer 7:30 p. m.
LMKST MISSION AKV HAPTIST CHrKCH
l Preaching at Irt:i a m.. p. in., and 7:30 p. m.
Sabbath school at 7.:m p. m. Kev. T. J. Shores.
I ITHEHAN-Thirtcerith street; servl.es Sab
I J bath 1:30 a. m.; Sunday arhool Jp. m. Rev
MKTIIODIST-Cor. Eighth and Walnut streets;
rreai hlriL' Sntiliaih tn ai . n, .. j ? - . '
- " a- in. MliU I 1. III.,
- uiuaarr, pastor.
pitESHYTElllAN-Elghth street: preaching on
I Mibbath al ll :ii a m. and 7:;slp m.; prayer
meeting W edtiesdav al 7::i'ip. m.; Sunday School
at P rn. Itev. H. V. George, paster.
OKCOND FREE WILL BAPTIST - Flfleetth
O street, between Walnut and Cedar streets ser
vices Sabbath at 3 and 7:30 p. m.
CT.JOSKPH'8-fKoman Catholic) Comer Crosi
O and Walnut streets; services Sabbath 10:80a
n.; Sunday School at 2 p. m. j Vespers 3 p. m.;ser
rice, eery day at 8 p. m.
ST. PATRICK'S (Roman Catholic) Corner Ninth
street and Washington avenue; services Bab
oath 8 aud in a. ra. ; Vespers 3 p. m. ; Sunday School
t p. m. service, every day at 8 p. m. Rev. il;tsterson
WOMAN'S CHRISTIAN TEMPERANCE IN
T ION, holds Its regular weekly meetings In
the hall of the Cairo Temperance Reform Club, ev
ery Thursday afternoon, at 3:30 o'clock. Every
body is Invited to attend.
QEORCJE H. LEACH, M. D.,
Ph j sifiau and Surgeon.
Special attention paid to the Homeopathic treat
ment of surgical diseases, and diseases of women
OllU e: No. 10 Eighth street, near Commercial
avenue, Cairo, Ills.
JR. E. W. vVIJITLOCK,
Omni-No. 136 Commercial Avenue, between
Eighth and Ninth Streeu
J)R- W. C. J0CELYN,
OFFICE-Elghth Street, near Commercial Avenue.
rpHE CITY NATIONAL BANK
W. P. HALLIDAY, President.
II. L. HALLIDAY", Vice-President.
TIIOS. W. HALLIDAY, Cashier.
.RTAATSTAVWR, W, P. BAU.rDAT,
BINRT I.. nAI.MllAT, R, H, CIINNINOHAM,
D. WILLIAMSON, STKI'UBN BIRO,
Exchange, Coin ami United States Bonds
BOUGHT AND SOLD.
Deposits received and a general tanking business
CAIRO. ILLINOIS. SUNDAY MORNING, MARCH 13, 1881.
NOTICEABLE POINTS IN THE 21st
ANNUAL STATEMENT OF THE EQUIT
ABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY;
NEW YORK. JAN. lot, 1881.
AosetH, 141,108,602; an Increase of
more tbau Three Million Dollars in
Surplus, $9,22!l,2'Jt;an increase of
One and Three-quarter Millions of Dol
lars in 1880.
New Business, 835,170,R05: an iu
creaseof Eight and a half Million Dol
lars in 1880.
Amount paid to Po' ley-holders and
their representatives during 1880,
A liberal surrender value in paid-up
Insurance is provided for in all ordina
ry policies, In case of forfeiture.
Tontine Saviugs Fund Policies may
be terminated at the close of certain
defined periods, on terms more advan
tageous than upon any other plan.
These policies prove more profitable to
the iwlicy-holder than any other form
Actual examples can be furnished at
the Society's office, of persons beiag in
sured for ten years, and then upon
terminiting their Tontine Policies, re
ceiving cash in some instances equal to
the whole of the premiums paid ; in
others, nearly all.
No technicalities nor arduous condi
tions in policy contracts.
Policies incontestable after having
been in force for three years. All such
incontestable policies will be paid at
maturity, without rebate of interest,
immediately after the receipt at the
Society's office in New York of satisfac
tory proofs of death, together with a
valid and satisfactory discharge from
the parties in interest, and without re
quiring any delay, even for sixty or
ninety days, as has Wen the custom
heretofore, and is still usual with other
CAIRO CITY FERRY CO.
THREE frn STATES.
On and after Monday, Jne7lh, and until lurthor
notice the ferryboat will make trip as follows:
LIATia LIATI! LIATia
goat Fourth at. Missouri Land'g. Kentucky Ld'g.
8:00 a. in.
S.'SO a. m.
9 a. m.
11 a. m.
B;00 p. .
10:00 a. m,
8:00 p. m.
For the Sunday llulleiln.
"This la acarcrly a wotiiKii's province."
Mournful and stern Pilnlns stands
W e nn iii to sen the phuniom bauds
Reach out thulr Augers wan and white,
Like i.hotly !aud uiurka lu the night.
Where grav in lata bathe the rocky walls,
As gently down the twllght falls,
The camp Ore casts Its ruddy glare,
I'pin a maidens young and fair.
( rown'd with the mountain ivy green.
While voices shout "long live the (Jiloeu!"
Two noble Counts before her bow,
As subjects their allegiance vow.
Rivals for this fall maiden's love,
Tnelr fealty soon call'd to prove;
Ilcyoiid the red light of tbo flrn,
She hears their tones of deepest Ire.
Aud gliding from her resting place,
With wistful eyes views eih stern face,
I'nto each Count extends a band
"Yuft must obiy ytiur Queen's command,
I'l'lmbuy thrmie, this rocky ledge.
.ay suit ers. loiieit uoi your Pieuge.
"A woman's provlme Is not here."
Falls ou the maiden's llst'ulng eur.
"A woman's province," she replies,
Is not to stund with down-cast eyes.
While cruel angry words an' s'd,
And buumn blood perchance Is shed."
Thy noble words can we foretr
Sweet moutaln iiiea, fair Margaret;
"A woman's province," call It not
A gem strewn Isle, a narrow spot.
Proud niLn, who taught thee to endure
To ''bear the Ills thou canst not cure "
Hoo,e soman bulds the golden key
To every heart from mount' to sea.
bwccl peace her mission here on earth,
Sue soothes the Infant from its birth ;
Cheers each dark hoar of manhood's prime.
And guides the steps grown weak with time.
W ho counts th'; grains of desert sand
May ti ll the dueds of woman's hand
Who counts eaeh sunbeam where it lies
May paae to tell each ,erlue,
From suowy Alps to sounding set,
Love's glorious banner streaming free
Her provlme lies with lines unseen,
llroad fields of life and death between.
Still clouds of crimson, and of gold,
O'er I'llatns their glories fold;
And atill the ijul-t twliight falls.
Where ivy wreat'js the roekv walls.
In dreauia the white ghosts come and go.
They wander round the lake below
In dreams thy mem'ry lingers yet.
Fair Scottish maid, "tueeu Margaret!"
- Kat W-.
From the Lafayette (Ind ) Courier.
This ctntrtnin' nnd vivacious little lady,
6iipiortel by a powerful company, oppeur
cd at the Grand last night, as "Rolitnd" in
"Le Bavnrils,"(The Chatterers) to a packed,
jammed house. Thu opera is one ot Offen
bach's most successful efforts, and abound
in pleasing melodies, which were well
brought out. Miss Oates possesses that
same chic, piquancy and apnghtlinrss that
has made her so lainoiis. Tlio rendition of
"G t.i I've, Sweetheart," was rendered in a
most excellent tiiinner. Clias. Allison gave
a splendid impersonation of "Beatrice," a
chattering female, aud the scene between
Riland and Beatrice trving to talk each
other to death went with screams. J. II
Jones, as "Terrible," was immense.
Dr. Kline' Great Nerve Restorer is the
marvel of the age for all Nerve Diseases,
All fits stopped free. Send to 931 Arch
street, Philadelphia, Penn.
Care of Harness.
The Harnos Journal has a very use
ful article on this subject, which wo
condense as follows: A harness that
has been on a horse's back several
hours in hot or rainy weather becomes
wet; if not properly cleaned, the dam
age to the leather is irreparable. If,
after being taken from the- horse, in
this condition, it is hung in a careless
manner, traces and reins twisted into
knots, aud the saddle, and bridle hung
askew, the leather when dried retains
the shape given it whilo wet, and when
forced to its original form, damage is
done thrs stitching nnd leather.
The lirst point to bo observed is to
keep the leather soft and pliable; this
can he dono only by keeping it well
charged with oil nnd grease; water is a
ddstroyer of these, but mud and tho
Saline moisture, from the animal aio
even more destructive. Mud, in drying,
absorbs the grease and opens the pores
of the leather, making it a prey to wa
ter, while tho salty character of tho
perspiration from tho animal injures
the leather, stitching and mountings.
It therefore follows that to preserve a
harness, tho straps should bo washed
and oiled whenever it has boon moist
ened by sweat or soiled by mud. If a
harness is thoroughly cleaned twico a
year, and when unduly exposed, treated
as wo have recommended, tho leather
will retain its softness and strength for
Raising Ducks for Profit.
It is a pleasing fact that the increase
of tho supply of thicks in our markets
is very sensible in tlio last few years,
and they are readily bought tip at good
prices us achango from chickens and
turkeys. Farmers tell us that they aro
ns easily raised as chickens; indeed cost
less for food anil bring a better price,
especially if tho kinds aro raised which
look plump nnd appetizing on tho table.
These itro tho Rouen, anil I'okin and
Aylesbury. They aro of good size, and
in their growth they consumo almost
anything and really keep thu promises
clear of many things that would provo
an annoyance", such as insects, grubs,
oll'al, wormy apples, ete. In October
and November, when their sale begins,
a liberal supply of corn meal or oat
meal mush, teed a littlo warm, mixed
with sour or skimmed milk, will in
about two weeks fatten them ready for
market. From evory farm from twenty
livo to fifty pairs should bo annually
sent to market, tho returns of which
would do u full share in filling tho
family purse from tho pleasautor and
ligtter branches of the farm.
The ladies who sumo timo since were tin
ablo to go out, having taken Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, aro qmto
recovered, aud have irono ou their wav rn.
Absence of Mind as a Sign of Incipient
The Medical and Surgical Reporter
gives some suggestions and statements in
tho article below, which tire of interest
and importance to a good many people :
It is essential to skill that I he muscles
of tho body .'.lidiiid work unconsciously,
but the moment they asset t, us it were,
their Independence of self-consciousness,
aud prompt to the initiation of ef
forts outside of what they h;ive been
taught, a diseased condition is begun
which we call "absence of mind.'' Such
a habit begins on lildo ihings, mure
generally bv an omi siou than a com
mission. Thinking of siiiiietliingel.su
while dressing, a part of the totici is
overlooked, Hie neckti" is forgotten,
the wrong coat, is put, on and tho hair is
Soon, as tho habit ineivasex, r'vurd
nnd even harmful ai ls aro committed
Tho collections of nnecdotes aro full of
stories of such follies. W'e know of an
able young lawyer, who, instead of
louring a tonic I'oni a bottle on his
desk, carefully emptied the ink from
his iuk.stand iuloas;oon and swallowed
it. Anoiher, an e-n orney general of
the L'niled S'ate.s, went on a fortnight
trip to attend Id an absorbing legal
cine., ll.s wife packed a haif dozen
shirts in his porinianteau. On his re
turn there was im shirt visible. Push
ing her inquiries, she found thai her
husband had regularly a clean shirt
every other day, but had forgotten to
take oil' the soiled one, and now re
turned wearing the whole half dozen!
An authentic miei doto of the great po
litical economist, Adam Smit.h, tells us
that when called upon to sign a con
tract, instead of writing his own name,
ho made an elaborate imitation of the
signature of the other parly, which had
already been allijed.
Such incidents tend to deprceiato a
man, though perhaps unju-tly, in tho
opinion of those with whom he does
business. They become also a grave
annojaiico to the individual himself,
lu a sense they ure mental weaknesses,
w hich, pushed to a certain degree, pass
into menial diseases. Senility and in
sanity are not in:i'eiuently marked by
automatic actions, carried out without
tlie will or eonsviousno-is of the doer.
The absent-minded one, like the sleep
walker, performs actions without thu
knowledge of them, and li"gleets duties
which, are prosing, Jit1!), therefore,
it is ti s iitrce of anxiety with every
thoughtful person when he finds him
self tailing into this bad m'itiil habit.
Il is usually gradual in In o i-e., stenl
ing over otic in moments of inlciixest
oci tip:.tion. I'niilie ol her In tel Weak
nesses it is not the toe o the : lie than
so much as Hie busy one. habits
of revery and d;t -di'oaui'oi r ir. ".v i-l-i)
blbig it tomtit. 'li.o-e Who Vel this
hai'it (Tccj.ing over them ui I do well
to make an early and s;iei i i! e.lort to
resit. it. It can bo coi'.oiteieil by a
habit of attention, and by m ere .-elf-chiding
when the mind vie,. Is to it,
Mr. Harriott, the husband of Clara
Morris, speaking of Washington Irving
the other day to an Auburnian corres
pondent, said :
When I was a little cub I used to
live up the Hudson some little distance
from "Sunnys'tde," where Irving lived.
I used to have an intolerable longing to
know that man w ho was so loved by
his neighbors, ami about w hom I used
to bear so much. I had a skiM'on the
river, and one day a pi.rlv of literary
gentlemen wanted to be taken to "Sun
nyside," and I took them. When they
got out i tagged on behind, and we
found Irving in his shirt sleeves grub
bing in his garden. After shaking
hands with his guests he noticed me
Htid called me to him. I was an urchin,
bare-footed, and my pants were well
ventilated at the knees and elsewhi re
But he took my 1'utl browti hand in
both his, and ti en stnooilied my hair.
And then he sat do u mi a bench and
drew me between his knee.. "My
bov," said he, "do vou love logsl,',
"Weil," he continued, "so do I, and
when I was in England and about com
ing home to America a friend gave me
the most beautiful King ( 'harh s span
iel that I ever saw. He was a little hit
of a one, and 1 dared not risk the voy
Hge with him, and 1 left him with'a
lady friend to grow big enough to trav
el so far. 1 came away, :u:d after a
number of months, one day I received a
loiter in black, I looked at the post
mark and 1 saw il was from tin lady
who had my spaniel. I dreaded to open
it, nnd let il lie on my desk for nearly
a week and then opened it, and what
do you think?"'
"He was dead," answered I, with
mouth and eyes wide open.
"Not a bit of it," sa'ni Irving, "not a
hit of it. There are a great many
wicked men in London, and tho dog.
sellers that my friend bought my span
iel of fooled him. The letter just went
on to say it was not what was supposed,
but simply a common bull pup sewed
up in a spaniel skin, and he had grown
so big ho had bursied the skin and was
nothing but a common terrier."
"1 never will forget," said Harriott,
"how Irving laughed and how mad I
fell about it. That incident has never
been told in print, but I'm goiug to
w rite il up some time."
It is estimated that il will only take
about twenty years to consume tho
original pino forest of Georgia, and it
is thought to bo time for the adoption
of some efl'eotivo measure of protection.
The Mttcou Tckuraiih ami Jfamcimer
estimates tho consumption during 1880
ui a uhiu over z.iu.uuu acres.
Tbo engines of tbo Kittywar State
railway aro worshipped by sbmo of tho
simple folk out there A potter at
Llmrl having failod to got relief from
tiny of his gods, at last contracted to
place certain offerings before tho
"engine god," if that medium would
bring him relief. And sure unoiigh the
fever abated. So tho putter offered a
eoeoanutto the "god." to tho astonish
ment of tho guard and tho driver.
"1 wish I was a pudding, mamma."
"Why?" "'Cause 1 could have lots of
sugar put into me."
"There is plenty of room on the top,"
as thu bald bonded man said to his full
beard. onfon Commercial lia'UVn
Did you ever see a bald-headed man
who didn't have such a "beautiful head
of hair" till " that fever," or something
or other, took it. off?
One of tho inexplicable phenomena ot
nature is tho effect tha emptying of a
pan of ashes has in suddenly reversing
tho direction of tho wind.
Ho who seeks a nomination for office
and tinds it not, is like unto him who
attempts to sit on a chair that has been
suddenly jerked away. Jlackcniack
A very disagreeable old gentleman
dies. A nephew, charged with the duty
of preparing his epitaph, suggests:
"Deeply regretted by all who never
k n e w h'i n i . " liutfu to Ef press.
A school teacher in Iowa had the debt
of the world all nicely figured up to a
cent, when a Chicago man went and
got trusled for a codfish, and forgot
whwher it came to 17 or 27 cents. It
wxs awful mean on tho shoolmaster.
A nobby young traveler in Texas
went into a store ami asked tho pro
prietor if he had black kids. Tho
young man doesn't see why tho store
keeper came over the counter and broke
up all the furniture with him.
We noticed a somewhat novel exhibi
tion of tbo national colors the other day,
as a young lady ahead of us was trip
ping daintily across tho street, wearing
red hose, a hole in the heel of tho same,
and blue slippers. Lockport Union.
Scene at Harvard. Chinese class.
Student (who has just failed in a Chi
nese sentence, to professor:) "Thou tea
chest!'' Professor (furious) "What!
you dare to--" Student (calmly pro
ceeds) "Thou tea-chest, a most diffi
cult language." (Red lire, curtain.)
Had again. Young Hardup: Glad
I met you; got a half a sov. P Stodgers
(thinking he is going to bo repaid a
borrowed live shillings with alacrity:)
Yes, certainly, my boy, I have. Young
Hardup: Ah, then 111 get you to let
mo have it, and that'll make fifteen.
"Say, boy, say!" exclaimed a hot
looking nuui with a valise, "what is tho
quickest way to get to the cars?"
"Run," yelled tho boy; and the hot
looking man was so pleased with tho
information that if ho could have got
near enough to tho boy ho would have
given him something something that
he would Lave remembered.
Foote was talking away one evening
at tho diunei'-tablo of a man of rank,
when, at the point of onu of his best
stories, one of tho party interrupted him
.suddenly, with an air of most consider
ate apology; "I beg your pardon, Mr.
Foote, but your hainikerchief is half out
of your pocket." "Thank you, sir," said
Foote, replacing it; "you know tho
company better thau I do," and finish
ed his joko
A Yankee tobacco-chewer was in the
habit of declaring about once a month
that he would "never chew another
piece," but broke his pledge as often
as ho made it. On one occasion, short
ly after ho had "broken off',", he was
seen taking another chew. "Why,"
said bis friend, "you told me you had
given up that habit, but I see you are at
it again." "Yes," he replied" "I have
gone to chewing and left off lying."
"Mr. Thompson presents his compli
ments to Mr. Simpson nnd begs to re
quest that he will keep his piggs from
trespassing on his grounds." "Mr.
Simpson presents his compliments to
Mr. Thompson, and begs to suggest
that in the future ho will not spell pigs
with two gees." "Mr. Thompson
roped to Mr. Simpson, and will feel
obliged if he will add thu loiter E to the
last word in the note just received, sons
to represent Mr. Simpson's and lady."
"Mr, Simpson returns Mr. Thompson's
letter unopened, tho impertinence it
contains being only equaled by its vul
How Irish Peasants Live.
The dens, misnamed cots, in which
tho peasantry of Galway and Mayo
counties livo aro merely stono shelters;
owing to tho intense ignorance of tho
people they aro not provided with any
facilities for draiuage.and are often in
Tho Honrs aro of mud; itisraro to find
more than one room in a hut, and only
one story. Beds and bedding are luxu-
..: l. : i. .1 . . f. I .
lies which uie poorer icnaiiis uu noli
posses-.; old heaps of hay ami straw are
the couches on which the lovely brown-
ycd, large-browed maidens of Con
naught repose. Tho smoke from a peat
tiro in a common peasant's cabin
spreads through tho room, and you nar
rowly escape strangulation on your first
visit. I have iiad this experience in
Herzegovina, nnd consequently minded
the smoke hut little. How family de
cency is maintained in theso dens is a
mystery, aud how tho people manage to
keep clean - for they look clean is a
puzzle. The pigs nm in and out of the
doors-and such wretched pigs! A
North Carolina wild hog would be an
aristocrat beside them! In dozens of
theso cabius sick people are to be found
sick people dependent either on tha
charity of their neighbors or on friends
in Atneiiea who send them small sums.
Wash for Fruit Trees.
A fruit grower gives tho following
remedy for tho codling moth: Om
quart of lime, such ns is used by the
plasterers in "white coating," one peck
of leached wood ashes, two pecks or
cow manure, one quart of soft soap,
nnd one large tnhlcspoonfu of I aria
green. I wet tho mixture thoroughly
lo make it like paste, beating It thorough
ly until It became tough. I added twelvo
quarts of witter, or enough to give tho
trees a t borough coating. I find on tha
trees so washed that the old bark is
dropping off and leaving the new bark
pcrtcctly smooth. Uu all tho trees I
have washed I see a perfect improve- .