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THE DAILY CAIRO B ULLETIN.
TIIK TWENTY-FIRST ANNUAL STATEMENT OF THE
EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY
OF THE UNITED STATES, 130 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
HENRY B.IIYDE, President.
FOR THE YEAR ENDING DECEMBER 31, 1880.
AMOI'NTOP I.EII'iEll Af-KTK, Jul) . 1.
J ijlcri rt and rent
tivl prollt on lnvtsluicnta
3 ,,?mo.W7 i,i
C'lnlmn 1y death and matured endow
ment' S.Vf.Vil M
Dividend, at.rrender value, and an
num.. 2.MMI0 HI
Diaccmntcd endowment mid matured
tontine polMea...., 1TW !) m
Total paid policy-holders $ 4,TW.!l7 !iT
Dividend ou c:ip Ul T.OOoo
Amende, and ct.iuiulinioUH KIM-TOo
ieuerat expciiaea Wdi.ttW -Vi
hUlf, county aud city tnloi SS.Ms To
Netcanu aaacls, Dec. 31, It). . I .J,&W o-i
Honda and mortgage - $ ,OK!.47 .V I
t'nited State, stocks. '.'.M i.r.'.il u
StaUt mora, city alotka, and stock
authorized hy the l of the state,
of Sew V,k '
Loan aacurea hv bond and stork. i.im.joJ hi
heal ealate In New Vork and Ilostou
and purchased tinder foreclosure.. ,:. io'l I,.'
Caah on hand In bank and other dc.
posuories on intercut and lu transit
I)u:t from a,-eut on acount of pre
mium - S'"1-1 -'
t :jV.lt '!
Market value uf stocks and bond
over cost . l.Wl.ir.l,!.
Interest and rents die and accrued ;5 H'H
Premiums dua and In process of
collection (less preruiuma pio i"
, advance, $'ii.''.il)
Deferred premiums -
Total asset, Dec. 11. lsJ t U W ;l-
Total liabilities includine. lecal re
n-rve for reinsurance of all exist
ing policies t 31 o..to 11
Total nudivided surplus $ -
Of which below.' (as Computed) to
pshrles iu uvnural clas 1,!I.'i.ipI til
Of which heloni' fa computed) to
policies in tontine cla-s i;i'..2 '
Risks Assuiuwl in l8U,tS:J5,17.0.'i (10
Risks Outstanding 8177,.Vj7,70:Uio
gT. LOUIS, I. M. SO. UY.
IRON MOUNTAIN ROUTE.
TRAIN I.EAVI I AMU),
ArkahfaandTex.ii' Eipre U;4:a m. Dally
AKII1VX AT CAIRO.
vIDr.., 2-r.r.a m. Daily
Accommodation p m. Da.ly
ILLINOIS CENT HAL II. 11.
Shortest and Quickest Route
St. Louis and Chicago.
The Oniv Lino Kuimin
O DAILY TRAINS
Makino Direct Connection
Thains Liati Cairo:
a m. Mail,
Arriving In St. Lonif :4r a ra.: t'hlnigo, M p.m. ;
Connectliig at Odin aud Kfflngham for Citicin
uati, Louisville, ludiunapoln aud polm. tai't.
11:10 u.m. HI. IjOuiRimil Wi'sti'rn
Arriving in St. Loula 7:05 p. m., and cotmecting
fur all polnta Wen.
i:0 p.m. Kant ExproaH.
JorSt. I.oula and Chicago, arriving at St, Louie
10:40p.m., and Chicago 7 :' ui
4:UO p.m. CM not nmit I KxproHH.
Arrlvlug at Cincinnati 7:fi) a m.; Lomevllle 7:J"
a m. IndlanapoIlK 4:iw a.m. I'aaaengera hy
tbia train reach the above polnta 1 M to UO
llOl'KS in advauce of any other route.
rjaTim 4 p. m. expreaa haa I'llI.LMAN
HLKBPIMi CAR Cairo to Cincinnati, without
change, and through xlcepera to St, l.oule and
Fast Time Kast.
PrtccnniwiVi! 11,10 Ko through to Knal.
rilSSCll;eiS ,.fn polnta without Any delay
cauaed by Suudav Intervening. The Saturday aln f
noon train from Cairn arrive in new York Monday
tnorulug at 1:35. Thirty-nix hours In advance of
any other rot to. ... , , .,
(xTVor through tlrketa and further Inrortuatloii,
apply at Illltiola Central Railroad Depot, Cairo.
jas. joiinson, J' "i'll)N.h;H' .
Oen. Southern Agent. Ticket Agent.
A. II. HANSON, Hon. rn. Agent. Chicago,
MILL AND COMMISSION.
FLOUR, GRAIN AND HAY
Hlchest Cash Price Paid for Wbeat.
Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup
8..U1 by BARCLAY BROTHERS.
From ihn iiiiilivldiid .urplu. rovoralonary divl
dendu will he declared, available oil settlement of
next unniial pr uiliuu, tu ordinary part.clpatlnK
The vuluiitlon (if tliu pollcii-a outntttodititt has
been mude on the American experience lalilo, the
lee,al atalid.ird of the Btate ofNew Vork.
(J. W. PHILLIPS, ) .,,,.,,,..
We, the underiil(,'iied, have, in penon, carefully
exaniine.d the hci iiintH, and counted aud examined
in iletuil the aKM U of the aoclety, and curtlfy that
the foregoing slntetneiit thereof la correct.
HEN N INfiTON K. KANlJULI'U,
.lA.MKH M. IIAI.HTKI),
TIIW.MAH A CCMMISa,
1IKXKV H. TEKIJKLL,
Hpeclul Committee of the Board of I)lrctora,
appointed Oct. ;T, to examine the acae'.a
anil ai coimu at the cloxe of the year.
HOARD OK MKKCrORS.
Ilenrvfl Hyde. John A. Stewart,
ieorj-e j. Murnan, John I) June.
'leomeT Adee, itjl)ert I.enox Kennedy,
Henry A. llnrlhut. liauncy M. I)epew,
Henry K lpauldinif, " njarnin Wlllfamaon,
William IJ. Kong, Henry M.Alexander,
William A. Whcelock, Wlllium Walker,
J'irker Handy, Henry Day,
Wlllium (,. I.imhert, K. Itoudinot Colt,
HeiiryU Mar'i'iand Thurua A. Hiddle,
la men W. Alt xander, (jeorge W. ('arleton,
lli-t.ry S. Terhell (ieorge (. Kelloui,
'I'hoinaaS. Younir. .loe K. Navarro,
Ttioiniin A. Ctiinmlnf, John J. McCook,
li-iherl llli-, W. Whltewrhrht,
Daniel I). I...rd, Stephen H. Phtlllpn,
lame. M lla.Hi. d, Samuel W. Torrey,
Horace I'orter. tharlexO. Lamina,
Kdnard W I.amhi.rt, hainHel Holmea,
II. K. Kan(loli,h, Theodore Weaton,
A jiriHi .u 'l'rai-k, Alexander P. Irvin,
John Moaue, T D Witt 'nyler,
A.hliel (ren. I.oni Filr.i;erB!d,
Smiiuel liorrowe, William M. MWf,
llei.rv V. Iluth r. William Alexander.
Oenrue II. Mewart, Bauiuel G. (ioodrlcb.
JAMES W. ALEXANDER. ViPres't.
SAMUEL IiORROWE, 2l Vice IWt.
E. W. LiniUrt, M. I)., I-MwM Curtis, M. D.
E. V. Scott, Suittriuti'iidunt of Agencies.
North Western Department.
In l)er)iorn Street, Chicago.
N. CIJAINE, General Manager.
Mayor N.B. Thiatlewood.
Treiwurer Edward Denonla.
Clerk Deunla. J, Foley.
l'o'jnaelor--Wm. It. (iilhert.
Marahal J. H. Kolminiin,
aoAHii or AUiiiiMiii.
Klrt Ward-M. J HowKy. Peter Sanp.
Second Ward-David T. Llnegar, Jeeae Illnkle.
Third Ward - Iighert Smith. I). F, Ulake.
Fimnh Ward-Charlea O. l'atier, Adolph Swo
fifth Ward-T. W. Hallldav, Enicat B. Pettlt.
Circuit Judge- i). J. Hiker.
Circuit Crk-A. II. Irvin.
I'ntmtv J'id'e - It. e YiM-utn.
i iiiiiiiy t lera-s. J. Jl'inun.
I ounty Attorney J M.Damron.
Cn'iiit'v Trcaeurer- Milee W. I'arker.
Sh, titl -John Hodge.
( oroiier- U Kli.crald.
Count) cnin)lioiierf-T. W. Ilalliday, J. A.
filhli and ."amuel Hriley.
' ENKKAL DKl.IVEHY open . :3U a. m.i cloae
J ::)o p in.; Suuday: B toD a. m.
Monev Order Departiucnt open at 8 I. m.j dole
' 5 p. in
Tl.roii.'!, Expreaa Mailt via Illinois Central 3:40
Mi!elpp! Central Kullroadi cloae at 9 p. m.
Cairo and 1'oplar IlluiT Through and Way Mall
I it 1 p. in.
Way Va:l via Illluola Central. Cairo and Vln
ei.i.ee and M l.lppl Central Kallroada dote at
:h.'. p. ui.
Way Vail for Narrow Gauge Uallro.d cloaei at
S::io t. m.
Cairn and Evanavllle HlverRoutc cloaca at 2:30
p. m. daiiv (except Friday).
1AIRO B.VI'TIST. -Teniperanco hall on Tenth
I l.t.n..., ,...U.t.l.w, nd BMl thlpil Ikltml.VA I.I
eaci month, 11 a tn. and 7:i p . m. : prayer meet.
... .n,... 1.... M . U,.n,l dV,..,.l U-QilB ,1,
II LC 1 ItlirrtillT, II. III. , tillUHdJ "iltoui, I-..FV
Hev. A. J. HESS, I'aator.
piU KCH OF THE RE D E E M E II E placopal )
J fourteenth atreet: bunday Morning prayera
HI:) a. m.i evening prayer, 7 :3li p. m.; Sunday
fi hool U:'il a, in. Friday evening prayer 7:) p. m.
l.iIKST M'SSIONARV BAPTIST CHURCH.
I I'reacliliiL-nt lil::iil a. n,., K I), m., aud 7:30 p. m.
Sahlmth achool at 7:30 p, m Kev. T. J. Shoret,
I L'TIIEIiAN-Tlilrteonth ilrect; acrvlte Sah
li hath 1:30 a. m.; Sunday achool 'i p. ni. Iter.
METIIoDIST-Cor. Eighth and Walnut atreetaj
Preaching Salihatli l(l:.tn a. ni. and 7 p.m.;
praver meeting, Wedtieadny 7:) p. m.; Sunday
Srh'ool, U a. m. Iter. Whittakcr, paator.
I)lf KSIIYTKUIAN-Elghth atreet j preaching on
I tW ul.l.ii t k tit (I ikl tti Mfif4 V ''Ui i m tivavn
iniMifiiii n hi'"' m mum i y him imojvi
inuelliig Wedneailav at 7:H'ip.m.; Sunday School
at p. m. Kev. II, Y. '.iuoru, paetor.
CT. J()SEI'H'S-Romnn Catholic) Corner Croaa
O mid Walnut atreet; aervlrea Sihath 10:80a,
n. ; Sunday School al i p, m. ; Veapera 3 p. m, ; aer
rice every day at tf p. m.
CT. P ATRICK'S (Roman Catholic) Corner Ninth
O airect ami Wahlngtin avenue; acrvlcea Hah
nath and lu a. ni. ; Veapera 3 p. in. ; Snuday School
p. m, aorvlcet every ly at 8 p, m, Rev, MitiU'l'.vMi
Q EORGE H. LEACH, M. I).,
riijsicliin and Snrircou.
Special mietitlon paid totliu Ilonioopatlilc treat
ment or aurglcal dlaitte, nnd dlaeaaea of womuu
Ollleu: No. lOEighlli tret, near Coiumorclal
uveiiui', Cairo, Ilia,
R. E. W. WHITL0C1C,
OrnnH Nn. Hid Commercial Avunuo, botwaon
p)U. W. 0. JOCELYN,
OKFICB-Klghlk Btrcot, near Commercial Avenat,
STOVES AND TINWARE.
ALL SORTS, SIZES AND STYLES,
Manufacturer ol and Dealer in
TIN, COPrER & SHEET-IRON WARE
AIX KINDS OP JOB W0HK DONE TO ORDEU.
NO. 27 EIGHTH STREET,
Cairo, - - Illinois
PROPRIETOR OP SPROAT'S PATENT
Wholesale Dealer in Ice.
ICE BY THE CAR LOAD OR T0N,WELI
PACKED FOR SHIPPING.
Oar Loads a Specialtv.
Cor. Twelfth Street aud Leye?,
rpHE CITY NATIONAL BANK
W. P. HALLIDAY, President.
H. L. HALLIDAY. Vlce Preaidcnt.
TUOS. W. HALLIDAY, Caehler.
a. fTAAT TATU1R, W. p. BAU.ITJA T,
BBNHT t. HAU.llur, . H. CI-NN1NOUAM,
. D. ITUJJAMSON, aTRI'IIKN BIBD,
H. 8. CAXIIIS.
EicLanee, Coin and United States Bonds
KOL'GHT AND SOLD.
Depoaita received And a general linking bualnca
l-1 5- K
Q i i 2
Mural fruit Flam
Vrepnrcd from the choicest
Fruits, without coloring, poison'
ous oils, acids, or artificial
Essences. Ahvay uniform In
ntrcnqth, without (tin (Kiimi
tlnnn nr impurities. Have gained
'their reputation from their per
fect purity, superior strength
and gualitu. Admitted by all
who have used them as the most
delicate, grateful and natural
flavor for cakes, puddltigs,
STEELE & PRICE,
Chicago, 111., and St. Louis, Mo.,
Mabra of Lnpulln Veait Genii,
Dr. Frio' Cream Baking Powder,
and Dr. Prloe'a Untune Perfumes.
We make no second grade goods.
MORNING, APRIL 23, 1881.
DK. C. W. DUNNING.
Anextroct from the Volco of Maaonry and Family
Eminent Sir Cliarles W. Dunning, Grand
Junior Warden, U a charactior of exci'ii
tional interest. Cluneucal liistory informs
U8 that Eaculajiius (whether the oirsrin
of the unliiitliful Curonis or a Crow, ami it
matters not which) succeeded iu establish
ing a line of descent which in after n'i s
vindicated its claims to the attention, if not
the welfare of mankind. A few momenta
conversation with Dr. Dunning will con
vince the most stupid that he in never dis
poned to underestimate the importance of
the profession of which he is the Epyptian
exponent, lie is a medical enthusiast, and
Pust Grand Commander Barclay informs
us that he handles scalpel, pills and lotions
with an assurance, determination and aban
don from which everything animated re
coils. In consequence of this vigorous
practice, he is said to have numerous mon
uments of his professional career in and
about Cairo, both living and dead. It
seems providential that physicians of such
energy are located where their services are
in so much requisition.
We know nothing ot his early history,
say for the past fifty years, nevertheless, it
is a reasonable presumption that Ins pres
ent hatred of rum has its origin in personal
experience too common to bo of value ir.
this record. IIo has taken an active in
terest in the temperance reform, as he does
in all propositions to elevate the ethical
character of his race.
Sir Dunning is a representative Mason.
With the cares and responsibilities of an
extended practice, the exactions of public
enterprises with which ho is immediately
identified, he finds time to bestow his at
tention upon the best interests of the Fra
ternity. He is a born leader. Although
kind and courteous to all, he is emphatic
in his denunciation of vice, whether lound
in high or low places. For many years he
has been at the head of Cairo Commandry,
and it is not too much to say that its pres
ent prominence is largely due to his devo
tion to its welfare.
CCKE FOR MENINGITIS.
The Freeport (111.) Bulletin, publishes
the following letter from a gentleman in
Michigan, to a gentleman in Freeport: "I
will write to tell you what will cure every
case of cerebro spinal meningitis. It is
the same epidemic that raged in this state
in the winters of 18-17 and 18-13, which
carried to the grave everyone it touched,
until the old fashioned hemlock sweat were
adopted, after which every case was saved.
Our people did nothing else for necks,
night and day, but go about giving Bweats."
Remember hemlock boughs and thorough
sweating. Certain cure. 4
Oil A 8INOI.E OilSKKVATION ABOUT TIIK
"WEATIIEK," AND K INDUED FC11JECTS OK
A FAS IXATINO NATI'KK.
Correapandence of the Cairo Uulleliu.
Chicago, 111., April 10,1881.
From another such winter as that from
which we are now emerging; from such
heavy and frequent down-pours of the
"beautiful;" trom such ear-nipping, nose
freezing breezes; from such alternating
thaws and freezes; such mounds or heaps
of drifted or shoveled snow and slushy
"canyons" (courteously called streets and
sidewalks); from all these and the other
exasperating and diabolical characteristics
of "the winter from which we are emerg
ing," may the Good Lord deliver us.
On the 12th of November, 1880, the fair
face of our surrounding prairies, the dirty,
unkempt streets, the foul, pestiferous by
ways of the city all creation, in fact,
mantled itself in white, and save the oc
casional spots aud streaks of mud or frozen
terra firma that genial spurts of sunshine
or busy snow plows produced or revealed,
the white mantle remained intact during a
maddening interval of 150 days. Even
now, at the close of the 158th day, ridges
and hillocks of snow aro to be seen on
every hand, sen ing as hateful reminders of
the longest, most relentless and merciless
winter this people ever knew.
But the gentle, invigorating, bud-swelling,
tlower-coaxing breath of the Spting
has been fclt,and ourpeoplc,as well as those
who frequent the base and slope of Mount
Blanc, can pluck an early (lower with one
hand while he buries the other,elbow deep,
iu a snow bank. But for tho fear I cuter
tain that it may snow before I have time to
post my letter, I might rhapsodize a little
might invite your readers to "tumble to the
racket" of Thompson, nnd apostrophize
with mu thoMheriul mildness" of the gen
tle Spring that really seems the gladder
and happier because its coming was so
long delayed. But I wont, for, as above
intimated tho mctereological cussedness of
the times is such that it might biiow on mo
even while cn route for tho nearest postal
box. But the temptation to do it is great.
My young, buoyant, bounding nature can
scarcely restrain itself. Creation has
thrown off. its white, chilly grave clothes,
and really seems resurrected into tho glory
ot a Ghidsomo Spring time. "After five
months of cold, of storms, ice, snow, slush
and sleet," (as I recently remarked iu an
aulk edito ial on "Easter Day") prolific
iu dlseaso, distress nnd suffering n
"spell" that paralyzed business, blocked
railroads, swept tho ocean by tcmpcBts,
locked up our lakes and streams that
brought storm on tho very heels of storm
with must exasperating frequency, and ren
dered it most devilish uncomfortablo to
sleep out, ot nights" alter all this, I need
not say, as hereinbefore observed, that tho
temptation to "gush" is quite irrepressible.
But iiiiparalled as the winter has been,
alike in severity and durability, the old
man of CO years who has not experienced at
least two winters that were longer, colder
snowyer, has not as y et been heard from.
I'll bet you my personal wardrobe against
your reputation for piety or any other trifle
you may cIiooho to put up, that if you call
on Doc Dunning, Jim Johnson or any other
citizen that has passed his sixtieth year,
he'll tell you of the winter of 1825, or some
other year, when he kept the "Red Lion
Tavern" in Sparta, or was doing something
else somew here else, when for 100 days,
straight along, the thermometer stood at 40
below zero! Of course he'll lie when ho
says so; but the disposition of old men to
place all the amazing things and extraor
dinary happenings of the world, without
the time and beyond the memory of us
young men, seems to be utterly uncontrolla
ble. The fattest walkers, highest jumpers,
swiftest horses, best preachers, hardest hit
ters, shrewdest lawyers, all passed oil the
stage of existence before us ch.qis of forty
or forty -one, came on to it.
But, to recur to my subject "the weath
er," I will observe that if the sunshine and
warmth of to-day shall continue until they
give the grass the luia of green, add fresh
zest to the chirp of our 20,000,000 sparrows
and beguile the (comparatively) musical
but alway s matronly hen into increased
luty, I shall then conclude that "gentle-
spring" has certainly made its advent, and
will, with your permission, "gush" about
its "etherial mildness," "cerulean skies,"
gnats, etc., to the full satiety ot my ardent
I am nearing tlx end of the first
year in Chicago; and, despite its
roar and rush ami dash and tumult:
its bustling, hurrying, scurrying crowds
whose individual nieml iris seem to care
for no one in all creation but himself; des
pite the galling, biting poverty and want
that almost make me feel that I have no
business to be rich while thousands around
me are so poor; despite the ciowdod Sun
day theatres and the empty churches; the
rumbling processions of densely packed
Sunday street cars and the noisier and
swifter fly ing railroad trains despite all
this and much more, I feel constrained to
say that I like the place. There is a con
stant, painful scramble among all our half
million souls for the "almighty dollar;" but
the scramble is nearly always attended by
the softening consideration that the scram
blers get the dollar.
"As before remarked," I have been here
nearly a year. As often as a score of
times I have been seized by on impulse to
run down to Cairo and take some ot my
friendsof other years by the hand; but the
impulses have been largely in excess of tho
opportunities. Tu e Brr.i.RTiN comes, how
ever, as a welcome "letter from home," and
every number brinys reminders, both glad
dening and soiiuwfui of men ami things
with which for many, many years I have
been entirely familiar. Gratefully yours,
M. B. II.
Mrs. Maria Reiuhard, Poughkeepsie, N.
Y., writes: St. Jacob's Oil is an excellent
remedy. My son frequently suffered with
rheumatism. Since he used the Oil the
attacks became less frequent and the ail
ment has now left him altogether. Neigh
bors and friends to whom I have recom
mended the remedy report the same excel
To all who arc sulTering from the errors
and indiscretions of youth,nervous weakness,
early decay, loss of manhood, etc., I will
send a recipe that will cure you, free of
charge. This great remedy was discovered
by a Missionary in South America. Send
n self-addressed envelope to the Rev. Joseph
T. Innian, Station I), New York City.
A Mother Made Happy.
Mrs. Wilkilns of Elina, writes: In an
swer to your letter of enquiry I am glad to
fay my cnini is quite well again." jour
Spring Blossom did wonders "fur him, his
kidney complaint is cured, tho constant
bed wetting has censed, ami he plays
around again as nsual, his appetite is good,
and pain entirely removed. I shall strong
ly recommend it. Prices: 50 cents,
and trial bottles 10 cts.
Tliey are Coining.
The Immense stock of Hoots and Shoes
for the Spring and Summer trade nre now
daily arriving, and when all iu will he the
largest, best selected and most complete
stock of Men's and Boys, Ladies and Chil
dren's Boots and Shot's ever brought to
tins City. Comprising all tho latest styles
and the Best Hand-made and Eastern
Goods ever oll'ered to the Public. Having
purchased all my goods for Cash, I got tho
lowest prices on tliem, nnd will give the
public the Benefit by selling them lower
for Cash.than any other House, I invito
all to call on me if in want of anything in
my lino beforo purchasing elsewhere.
Boot and Shoo Dealer, No. DO, Commer
cial Ave., between Fifth and Sixth Streets
Every man feels better when tho posses
Bor of a fine picture, particularly if Us on
tho back of a hundred dollar note, and
evory man fools bettr taking Spring Blos
som, sure cure for Liver, Kidney and Blad
der complaints. Prices: fl, 50 ceuts,
and trial bottles 10 cents.
SERIES NO. 257
Conn', Lou, will you never bo ready?
I'll button your cloven for you, tburet
Your new hut Is very boeonilnif ;
It suits you pulo blue you're to fair.
Now (or me; I'm as dark as an Indian,
And ho I wear red mid old gold.
We'll drive llrst to old Mrs. Jontn'i;
If we don't go then;, pupa will aould.
So we mlyht Jiint as well bavo It over,
"Not at homo" well, I'm thankful, Indeedl
Now the tiicero'H. (ml again wu are lueky,
Who's next on tbe Hat Mm. Sue) Id.
Fho's a liore, lint her partlea aro pleuannt;
Then her brother is Hindi a nke beaut
Now, inliid, weeuu't stay but ten minutes,
We've so many placea to go.
(Well, John, driv to Mrs. Van l'pstart'9,)
It Isn't her day to receive,
And so we ahull probably miss her;
If we do, I n m sure I shan't Krievo.
How aro ymi, dear Mrs. Van Upstart?
So irlii'l you tire In! Nell and I
Are out neikliw calls this Quo morning
And felt Unit we couldn't pim by.
(John, drive lo tho niulrs's and Do Uuytcrs'S,)
They're nil In ihtep mourning, ami so
We neeil only leu ve canln trlve him uiiiiuina'aj
They'll think she wns with us, you know.
And now to tho Devlin's; Julo told mo
They're Kolutr to (rive a trnind bull;
The curds are not out, no they'll think It
Mere courtesy In us to cull.
Look! there's runny Harris; I saw her;
She's Just tiirni'l tho coiner: Let's go
And leave her our cards, wbllo sho's wnlklnffi
It won't take live minute, you know.
We've o party cull due nt the Gruynors's;
It's one that we really must pay;
And then we mint tro home to luncheon;
There's company asked for to-duy.
Punch thinks that Victor Hugoon his
birthday should bo reehristoned Victor
To avoid being cheated in a horso
trade, be sure that your horse is abso
lutely worthh ?ss.
When sonio politicans are weighed
they lire found wanting every ollico in
which there is a vacancy.
Jones, who goes to the "lodge" qtlito
often, says that Mrs. J. could givo tho
nihilists "several points on blowing up.
A hen i:t nrni'i! apt to have a higher
appreciation of the value of an egg than
u human being has, because she sets
more on it.
Nothwithslnuding tho bad effects of
cold on the equine race, it is a well
worn proverb that tho gray mare is tho
Fi-.h are so plenty in somo parts of
Canada that in order to tell a first-elans
lie the sportsman has to swear ho didn't
What do yon know about tho cuckoo?"
asked a school-teacher of little Johnny.
"Nutlin', 'ccpt he don't lav his eggj
The man who took a seat in the or
chestra when his ticket was for tho
(second balcony felt badly nt having to
change. In fact ho was moved two
First sophomore (to second ditto,
leaning over tho railing of the theatre
gallery): "Tom, don't fall over; it
costs more down there, and wo neither
have another cent here."
Did you ever stop on tho dusty high
way of life to remember that there are
over seven thousand varieties of apples
in this country, saying nothing of thoae
found in tho boys' pockets?
French eaters of American pork have
secured the services of eight oxpoils,
who carefully inspect all imported ba
con. La Belie Franco says to Dame Co
lumbia: "There's a trick-I-know sis."
Wo know a man so cross-eyed that
ho puts his hand into another man1
pocket nnd abstracted therefrom a
watch. Ho wanted to learn tho time.
Tho judge told him that it would be
An Irish father, complaining of being
constantly misused by his sons, said:
"There is no all'ection in any one of
them but little Larry. lie is a good son.
I lo never strikes nie when 1 am down."
A small boy astonished his mothei
tho other day by wishing himself a pud
ding. Why a pudding Frank?" asked
his mother, lie replied: "Cause- then
I would have lots of sugar put iuto me!"
An Irish porter, (dosing a shop ono
rainy evening, took olF his coat while,
putting up tho shutters. When asked
why ho went out in his shirt-sleeves in
tho rain: "Shure," said he, "dont I
want a dry coat to go home inP"
An Englishman who went to soo nn
Irish friend, knocked at tho door ond
asked: "Docs Mr. MeGuiro live here?"
"He does, sorr; but he's dead!" "Whon
did he dieP" "If he'd lived till to-morrow,"
was tho response, "ho'd hav
been dead a fortnight."
For German students. A near-sighted
amateur recently tried to charm Ids
sweetheart by warbling Shubert'9
"Meino ruhisl hin" "My rest is gone."
Not being fullv conversant with tho
language ho trilled out: "Meino kill)
ist hin" "My cow is dead." This bo.
longs to the eattle-hogof polyglot jokes.
Tho steain-ears run so rapidly that
they get way ahead of a child's nge, so
that iho boy or girl who was 15 when
entering them is no moro than G or 8
by tho tune tho conductor comes) along.
Boast of our progress as you mav, but
there's no denying that the children
are behind tho ago on railways and at
tho entertainment tickot-olllco.
The other day tho Galveston recordei
was grossly Insulted by a prisoner,, who
Is a regularly-ordained chicken-thief,
for which otl'en.NO ho was being tried.
"1 lino you $10," said tho recorder.
'Judge, t-f you will tako it out In chick.
en's, I'll lot 3'on hah deni chickens you
missed last week at ten contu low dan
do market price."
A California paper says that arcsl
dent, of Placer county, that state, has
tho root of a tree which is in the shapo
of on eagle. Tho head, neck, and
ivimm aro nearly perfect, and little
knots distinctly mark tho place of the
eyes. -' ,