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DAILY CAIRO BULLETIN
1 1 1 " 1 T E f '
THE TWENTY-FIRST ANNUAL STATEMENT OF THE
EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY
OF THE UNITED STATES, 120 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
HENRY B.HYDE, President.
FOR THE YEAR ENDING DECEMBER 31, 1880.
A Mount or Liooaa assits, Jan. I.
1 WO ........ M.
Interest and rent.
Net profit on Investment! ,
CUIm.by death and matured endow
ment. 8,WT,!i(a 84
Dividends, aurreader value, and an
nuities 3,106,410 (H
Dl. counted endowment and matured
tontine policies.,.. 179 9H3 09
Total paid policy-holders $4,793,937 97
Dividend ob capital 7,0(inOO
Agencies and commlulona m,X!M
Oeneral expenae 88
State, county and city Uxei 88,848 70
Net run assets, nnc. 81, 1880. . $ 38.409,844 02
llondi and mortgage. .. t ,0r,47r!l
United bUtc. .Um k. 8,513,591 00
State stock, city .locks, and stocks
authorized ny tne law. oi tne state
of New York.....
Loan, .ecurad by bond, and ttock.
Real e.tate In Now York and Beaton
and nurchesed nnder foreclosure..
C.h on hand In hank, and other de
oeitorios onintere.tand in tranult
Dti3 fmm amenta on account
t 88,409,844 O!
Market value of stocks and bondi
over cot.. .
Interest and runta due and accrued. .
Premium, due and in process of
collection (leu premium, p.ld In
Total asset., Dec.31,18 $ 41,l8,itt &!
Total llabilltie. including legal re
.erve for rmn.urance of .all .eilet-
llig pollclea...... t 31.8S0.308 II
Total undivided inrplna.... 9 t:;SM 21
OI which belong, (a. computed) to
policies in general clan...
Of which belong, (a. computed) to
pollclea In tontine class .... 4,283,230 00
Risks Assumed In 1880,135,170,805 00
Risks Outstanding 1177,597,703 00
R. R. TIME CARD AT CAIRO.
ILLINOIS CFSTRAL R. K.
TRH 4KMIVI. TRAINS DITAItT.
Mail i. ... 4:10 a m I 'Mall ?.: p.m
Express 8: Ma m MExurese ... S.H" p,m
t ccom'dation. 4.00 p.m I tAccomdatlo..ll il'Ja.m
MISS CENTRAL B. R.
vVall - 5:80p.mMMall .. .. 8:3S.m
tKipre......... 11:30am tExprcea B:J0a.m
C. A ST. It. R. R. (Narrow Gauge.)
Kipr.ua 4:30p.m Kxpre... 9:40a. m
Accom'datoln I2;S0 p.m Accom'datlon. 1 :30 p.m
Suudayexcur'n 8:09 p.m Sunday exenr'n 8:40 a m
BT.L., I.M.4 8.K. R.
tExprese S Vs m I tRrprc......H.12:0Rp.m
tAccom'datlon. 2:30 p.m tAccom'dation.ll:45n.m
CAIRO VINCENNK8 R. It.
Mall All. .. 5:00a.m Mall A Ex.... 9:38 p.m
Dally except Sunday, t Dally.
Mayor N. B. Tai.tlewood.
TreMnret T J. Kerth.
Clerk-DennU. J, Foley.
Counselor Wm. B. Gilbert.
Marehal-L. B, Meyers.
Attorney William Hendricks.
mum or axosaiii.
First Ward-Peter Saop. T. M. Klmbrough.
Second Werd-Jeeae Hlnkle. C. N. Hughes.
Third Ward-B. F, Blake, John W ood.
Fourth Werd-Chnrlet O. Patter, Adolpn Bwo-
'"Fifth Ward-T. W. Halllday, Irne.t B. Pettlt.
Circuit Judge D. J.Baker,
t Circuit Clerk-A. H. Irfln.
County Judge R. S Yocum.
County Clerk-8. J. Humm.
County Attorney J. M.Damron.
County Treasurer Mile. W. Parker.
Sheriff John llodgee.
Coroner R. Fltagerald. ,,.. ,
County CommiMlonera-T. W. Halllday, J. A.
Clbba and Samuel Brlley.
CAIRO BAPTIST. Tempcranco hall on Tenth
treet; prvachlng fimtand third Sunday. In
eachmouth.il a m.and7::Wp. m.-.prayer meet
iniTbur.day,7:30u. m ; Sunday .chool, 9:30 a.m.
,ngiuur.u,, . v Rev. A. J. UBSS, Paator.
CHURCH OP THE REDEEMER (EpUcopal)
Fourteenth atreet; Sunday 7:00a. m.. Holy
Euchaal.t; :0 . m., Sunday achool j 10:4 a.m.,
Morning prayera; 8:00p. m.. evening prayer.. F.
P. Davenport, 8. T. XL Hector.
FIRST MISSIONARY BAPTIST CHtTRCH.
Preachlng at 10:80 a. nv, p. m., and 7:80 p. m.
Babbath achool at 7:80 p. m Rev. T. J. Bhorea,
LTjTHERAtl-Thlrteenth atreeti aervlcea Sab
bath 1:80 a. m.; Sunday achool 2 p.m. Ke.
METHOD18T-Cor. Eighth and Walnut atreeu;
Preaching Hahbath 10.80 a. m. and T P-n-i
prayer moetlng, Wedneaday 7:80 p. ro.i Sunday
School, a. m. Rev. Whlttaker, paator.,
RKHBYTERIAN Elirhth atreet: preaching on
L Sabbath at 11:00 a. m. and 7:80p. m ; prayer
meeting Wedneaday at l-.mf. m.; Sunday School
at 8 p.m. Rev B. V. Georne, paator.
ST. JOHEPB'8-- Roman Catholic) Corner Cmaa
and Walnut .treeW; aerrlc.ea Halibath 10:80 a,
t. ( Sunday 8r.hoil at 9 p. m. ; Ve.pera 8 p.m.; ear
rieea avery day at 8 p. .
ST. PATRICK'8-R"nn Catholic) Corner Ninth
atreet and Washington avenue ; eervtoe Sab
bath Sand 10 a. m.j Vepera8 p. m. 1 Sunday School
5 p, in. aervlcea every day at I p.m. Bev. Matflrwon
Qt W. WHEELER,
Summer Wood and Kindling
constantly on hand
At Seveuty-flve cents per load.
t; ' '
, . At one dollar per load.
The "trimmings" ar. coarse shavings and maka
IB. Deal summer wooa lor wnimim UBrpo. wen
tha vhnat mi .old In Cairo. For black
Enlth's use Insetting tires, th.y ar. unaqualled
Tiror orders at tht Tsnth stre.t wood Tfd'
Prom the undivided surplus, reversionary dlvl
denda will be declared, available on settlement of
poncles"01 promium, to ordinary participating
The valuation of the pollclea outstanding ha.
been made on the American experience table, the
iiBiiuaru ui inn aime oinew xora,
O. W. PHILLIPS, ) .
J.O. VAN CI8K. fActuarlea.
W., the underalgnod, havo, in por.on, carefully
examined the accouuta, and counted and examined
in detail the aa.eu of the aociety, and certify that
the foregoing statement thereof I. correct.
BENNINGTON F. RANDOLPH,
JAME8 M. IIALHTKI),
THOMAS A. CUMMINS,
HENUY 8, TKRBKLL,
Special Committee of the Board of Director.,
appointed Oct. iff, lfwo, to examine the a.suta
and accounts at the cloee of the year.
BOARD OK DIRECTORS.
Henry B Hyde, John A. Stewart.
Oeorge I). Morgan,
George T. Adco,
Henry A. Hurlbut,
Henry r. Spauldlng,
William II. Fogg,
William A. Wheelock,
William O. Lambert,
I.tnn W. Alexander,
Thomas S. Young,
Tboma. A. Cummins,
Daniel D. Lord,
James M. Hal.tead,
Edward W. Hlmhert,
B. F. Randolph,
Henry N. Butler,
George II. blewart.
John D Jones.
Robrt Lenox Kennedy,
,t ChauncyM. Dmiew, .
H njannn Wllllamaon,
Henry M. Alexander,
Thomas A . Biddle,
George W. Carleton,
George G. Kellogg,
Jose F. Navarro,
John J. McCook,
Stephen H. Phillips,
Samuel W. Torrey,
Charles G Landon, .
Alexander P. Irvlu,
T. DeWItt Curler,
William M. Bliss,
William Alexander, '
Samuel G. Goodrich.
JAMES W. ALEXANDER. Vice IWt.
HAMUEL B0RROWE, 2d Vice Pres't.
E. W. Lambert, M. D., Edw'd Curtis, M. D.
E. W. Scott, Superintendent of Agencies.
North Western Department.
108 Dearborn Street, Chicago.
W. N. CRAINE, General Manager.
E. A. BURNETT, Agent,
Q.E0RGE H. LEACH. M. D.
Physician and Surgeon,
Special attention paid to the Homeopathic treat
ment of surgical dlaea.es, and diseases of women
Office: Nolo Eighth street, near Commercial
avenue, Cairo, 111.
J)R. E. W. WHITLOCK,
O tea No. 138 Commercial Avenue, betweea
Eighth and Ninth Street
JJR. W. C. JOCELYN,
OFFICS-Elghta Street, near Commercial Avenue.
CAIRO CITY FERRY CO.
THREE VVl STATES.
On and after Monday, J nne 7th, and nntil tnrthor
notlco the ferryboat will make trlpa as follows:
L.ivas lbavis lbivis
Foet Fourth st. Missouri Land g. Kentucky Ld'g.
8:00 a.m. 8:30 a.m. 9 a.m.
10:00 a.m. 10:30 a.m. 11a.m.
8:00 p. a, 2:30 p.m. 3 p.m.
4:00 p.m. 4:30 p.m. 5;0Op.m.
2 p.m. 8:30 p.m. S p. m
rpHE CITY NATNOAL BANK
W. P, HALLIDAY, President.
H. L. HALLIDAY, Vice-President.
THOS. W. UALLIDAY, Cashier.
S.STAiTITATLOB, W. P. ALLmAT,
1HV L. BALLQ)4T, R. R. OCKIHBA,
. U. ".MAMSON, STSPBIM BIRD,
Eiebanjre, Coin and United States Bonds
BOUGHT AND SOLD.
Deposits rec.lvod and a general banking business
Commercial Avenue and Eighth Street.
F, BR0H9. President.
P, NBFF, VIce-Prestdont.
H. WELLS, Cashier.
T.J. KERTH, Assl.tant Casblur.
F. Bross. Cairo; William Kluge, Cairo;
PoterNeff. Cairo; William Wolr, Cairo;
O . M. Osterloh, Cairo i O . O . Patler, Cairo :
K. A. Budor, Cairn: J.Y.CIemson, Caledonia)
A GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS DONS.
Exchange sold and bought. Intereat paid In
the Savings Department. Collections mads and
all business promptly attsadsd to.
CAIBO. ILLINOIS. SATURDAY MORNING AUGUST 6,
Hatural Fruit Flavors.
Prepared from the choicest
Fruits, without coloring, poison
ous oils, acids, or artificial
Essences. Aiwa) uniform in
strength, without any ad niter a
tionn or itn purities. Have gained
their reputation from their per
fect purity, superior strength
and quality. Admitted by all
wlto have used tliem as the most
delicate, grateful and tuitural
flavor for cakes,
STEELE & PRICE,
Chicago, III., and St. Louis, Mo.,
Maker of Lupalin Yesut Gem,
Or. Prioo'a Croam Baking Powder,
and Dr. PrWa Unlqne Perfume.
We make no second grade goods.
CAIRO AND NEW MADRID PACKET
TO NEW MADRID.
W. J. TCRNER. Master.
J. K. MUSE, Clerk.
Leaves Cairo for New Madrid and way points
every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday at i p, m.
Keturnlug leaves New Madrid Wednesday, Friday,
For freight or paasage apply to
r.ut'a t.v..rti . .
Cnr Ci .rk'h orrrrs I I
t Cairo, III., AotfU.t 4, f ,
Sealed propoeal. will be received, at tbla ofiico,
directed to the underalcned. until o'clock P m,i
Tue. day, August zirri, IMS), for furnishing 900 feet,
men internal niameter, 4 ply witn a piy
atrenethened. and sealed onds, fire engine rubber
hose, fitted with Caswell's automatic couplings,
delivered here. Said bids to give weight of hose
per section and number of nound. water pressure
per square Inch, guaranteed to rtand alsofor length
of ttme such hose are warranted. The right to
reject any and all bids reserved,
u. J. roLET.Lttyuierk,
BOARD OF PHARMACY
OF THE STATE OF ILLINOIS
Public njtlre is hereby given that the secretary
of the Illinois btste Board of Pharmacy, Spring.
field, 111., is preparedte receive sppllcatlons from
all Pharmacists, Druggists, or their assistants, en
titled to registration as Registered Pharmacists
and Registered Assistants, in accordance with the
provlsiona of the Pbarmncy law. Blank forms of
sppllcatlon can he had by applying personally to
any member of the Bourd of Pharmacy or by Icttar
addressed to the secretary as above.
The time allowed by law for "registration with
out examination" expires Sep. 1. 1881.
A special meeting or the Board of Pharmacy will
be held at KplngAeld, 111., on Tuesday, September
(,1881, at 10a. m. for the examination of such
persons as aesirc to become Licentiates in roar
macy according to See. 4 of the Pharmacy act.
iitum.t m i n, rroainent, unicago.
JOHN E. E8PKY, Bloomington.
CHARLES W. DAY, Allendale.
FRANK FLEURY, Secretary, Springfield.
State Board of Pharmacy.
NEW YORK STORE,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
The Largest Variety Stock
IN TIIK CITY.
GOODS SOLD VERY CLOSE
O. O. PATIER & CO.,
Cor. Nineteenth street ) . Paivn Til
Commercial Avenual . lttUV, Ills
THE IOIU KING.
ROCK BOTTOM PRICES.
I respectfully eollclt the patronage or all my old
friend, and as many new on.,, .nd'warJntee ih.m
satisfaction. JACOB KLEE.
MARKETS BY TELEGRAPH
. ;':i'1 : '
; tUVKBPOOL ORAIN.
llYMK&i Auguat 5, 0 :51 A. M.
Wheat-Win'ter, Bt l&Qda !lOd; Spring,
9s9s lid,-, California average, 9s 5d
9s 9d; Cllib, 9s 8dt0s 2d. ' ; .
U1IICAOO, ORAW AND PORK.
Chicaoi), August 5, 10 A.M.
Pork -Sep, $18 12. Oct, $18 00. !
Wheat -Oct, $1 16tf ; September,
Corn Oct, 55c- Sep, 54c.
Oata- Sep 33 ; Oct. 31 bid.
CincAoo, August 5, 12 m.
Pork-8e? 18 0018 05; Oct. 17 05.
Wheat-Oct, $1 16); Bcptemlwr,
tl 16;8. ;
Corn-- S"pi4Cc ; Oct, 55.
OaU-Oct,',1'i;i; Hep. 83.
Chicago, tat 5, 1 p. m.
lork-0ct, $17 05, nominal; August,
$18 00; Sptoijbcr $18 005.
Wheat -Oct, $1 16J4', nominal; August,
$1 21;Srt $1 10.
Corn-Oct, 55'c; August, Silc; Sep
Oats-Oct 33 if; August, 33'
Elco, July 80th, 1881. '
After a long intermission I take it that a
few words from Elco will not come a miss.
Weather, dry, roads dusty, crops especi
ally, corn cut short. It is believed that corn
with all the rain that could come wouUI
not make a half crop.
The grist mill of Miller Bros., is turning
out plenty of the best flour and corn
The saw mill of St. Leger & Durham U
running on tull time. We hope tire time will
soon come when a saw log cannot be found
in the county. While it is very profitable to
the operators of the saw mills and to those
that own the timber, it is detrimental to
travel to have log teams tearing up thi)
roads. Our experience has taught us that
it is but little use to spend the people's
money to put roads in order where logj
teams nave access to tnoin (the roads).
Putnam & Standard have moved into
their new house and ace ready to wait on
old and new customers.
Durham & St. Leger are selling goods at
their old stand, Augustine & Whitakerare
selling goods at the brick, Briely is selling
stovfi and tiuware and furniture at his old
stand. All are doing a good business.
Dr. Milam has sold out his residence aud
is making ready to build. We hope he will
make improvements that will do credit to
the town. We hope soon to see good im
Mr. Hartline says tie is going to make an
addition to tbo town and open up the way
for fresh improvements and we don't think
that a more convenient or suitable locality
for Cairo people to rind a country residence
can be found. It is the first high land north
of Cairo on the narrow guage railroad and
as healthy as any locality and the best wa
ter in the land and with a good gravel road
to Cairo, (what we expect to have in two
years more) we can have as desirable a loca
tion as Southern Illinois cand afford.
One more thing we will call your atten
tion to for the consideration of your numer
ous readers and that ,is to the
great necessity of erecting a county work
house for the benefit of parties, who are
taken up and tried for petty stealing and
other petty oilenBcs, and found guilty and
fined, and the county has to pay the fine
and board these offenders; and when we
come to look in at the prison doors and
court-house, we find that a large majority
are parties not even claiming a residence In
this county, while many tramps too lazy to
work, jsteal some little things in order
that they may get their board free and
rest thoir lazy limbs until after the next
term of the circuit court all at the expense of
Alexander county; but it it was known
that we had a county work-house aud it
become known to tramps, such parties
would go somwhnre olso to commit such
depredations aud save the county the ex
pense of feoding and trying such parties.
We believe that the board of county com
missioners should be instructed at their
meoting in SopUmibor to make arrange
ments as are necessary to erect such a placo
for the benefit of the aforesaid parties.
We believe that it can be made a source of
revenuo to the county, or at least be made
remunerative so far as to cover the jail ex
pense and trying such cases, as referred to;
and wo boliove that such work-houao
should be placed at the foot of some of the
bluffs along the railroad, and let the con
victs amuso themselves in breaking stone
for the benefit of roads and the the streets
ot Cairo. We would liko to hear the opin
ions ot other citizens on the subject.
More at another time, Truuo.
Raflpctioiis ou the Man in the Moon.
From the Chicago Times. J
"Are yon tho general passenger agent of
The inquirer was a young man who
seemed terribly in earnnar. Ifi. h..e ...
long, his clothet shabby genteel, and bis
remarks were addressed to the manager ot
one of our leading trunk lines.
res sir. what can I do for you?"
'I would like a pass to Baltimore by
way of Cleveland."
"On what account?"
"I am an inventor sir."
"Who are you!"
"J.Edison Herahel. of OshkoBh."
Don i t know you. What have you in-
The young man looked around uncadily,
"Are we alone?"
"We are, proceed."
Lowering his voice to the key of a Btage
whisper, he said :
"I am the inventor of tho 'Lunascopo.' "
"The Lunascopo;' the most remarkable
invention of the nineteenth century."
"What is it for?"
"Why, it is an Optical Reflectometer,
whereby I can throw the term St. Jacobs
Oil in scintilating letters across the face of
the moon." .
A peculiar scintilation was observable
around the corners of the nfHcial's eyes, but
otherwise his countenance was perfectly
"I have just come," continued the inven
tor, "from a confidential interview with Mr.
Peter Van Schaak of the 'Old Salamander
Drug House.' I entrusted my secret to
him. He commends me to you most warm
ly. And he seems as confident as I am that
the invention will save over three hundred
thousand dollars a year in newspaper ad
vertising to the proprietors of St. Jacobs
Oil the Great German Rnmedy. Tleaae
write out the pass at once. I may be able
to overtake Messrs. A. Vogelor & Co's ad
vertimng manager at Cleveland on his wy
east. I will let them have the invention for
$200,000, which is very low." !
'.'Young man," said the official, rising
and slowly stroking his beard, "this cor
poration cannot become a party to casting
rcflecMonsupoii anyone not even so luny an
individual as the Man in tho Moon. Your
'scope' does not come within our scope aud
all I can do is to pass you to the outer at
mosphere. Good day."
Ponder on these Truths.
Torpid kidneys, and constipated bowels,
are the great ctuino of chronic diseases.
Kidney Wort has cured thousands. Try
it and you will add one more to their num
ber. Hahituvl costiveness afflicts millions of
the American people. Kidney-Wort will
Kidney-Wort has cured kidney com
plaints of thirty years standing. . Try it.
8ce adv. .
Use the Pantagraph Binder. Covers furn
whed free of charge. No extra charge
over ordinary binding for the tablets.
Furnished only by Thk Cairo Bulletin
for putting up Letter, Note, Bill Heads and
other printed stationery.
' Tor Farmers. '
My patent adjustable HARROW is be
lieved to be tho best, as well as the cheap
est h arrow that has ever been offered to tho
farmer. I sell a first class standard two
horse harrow that will easily harrow 20
acres i n a day, fur ten dollars, all complete.
Tbey cn be ordered by letter and shipped
according to directions warranted to give
satisfaction. Or, if a farmer wishes to
make it at home and save freight, and give
is just th e size aud weight he wants, I will
tell tho plan wttii instructions aud right
to make one, auU butni it by mail tor one
dollar. Iif village mechanics wish to make
it to suppl y their customers, I will give
thorn very favorable terms, and they will
have in adi lition the advantago gamod by
saving freig lit. It is very simple and easy
to make. Bend for circular nd price
tlis, S. Hutchinson, Origgsville, Pike Co.,
Miih. A. .N Frank, 177 West Tupper
Street, Ruflah ), N. Y., says boo has used
Thomas' Eclei '.trie Oil for severe tuothache
and neuralgia, and considers it the bent
thing she knows oi for relieving pain
Paul G. Schuh, Agent.
Mrs. Ira MullLolland, Albany, N. Y.,
writes: "For several years I have suffered
from oft-recurring billions headaches, dys-
rwrtnia. and rumnlni nt. tutniliitr tn mv hot
Since using your Bttrdock Blood Hitters I
t ! 3 II 1 Al fwi i I
am cnuroiy roiicveo. i rice f l.uu, trial
size 10 cents.
Oenera! Hartsoff a Stories.
"When I wa a cadt," Says 1). Y.
Adee "I was on rainy day on sentinel
duty, when General 'Scott, who wan
visiting the Point, ranw by, wrapped
in a big JmUitary clnak and carrying t
huge timbrcjlls. Seeing me nadng up
and down In the min, tha old gentle
man's kind heart induced him to stop
and Bay to- nin, 'Yonng gentleman, you
will catch cold out In the wet. Come
under my umbralla and wafk with me
np to hcftdotiartors. when I will have
you excused. I raarohd by his sldo
in fear and trombllng. and, to my groat
relief, was, not reprimanded by the
Again h told us: 4,I was onne or
dered to tho front to tiike part n a for
ward movement nnder fleneral Shields.
Shields, b It known, .had unquestion
ably kissed the Warns"? stone. I ar
rived with my regiment in the evening,
and at on-ne reported at the General s
tent. Thersi wore a numbr of Colonels
sitting and standing about; the tent; and
when I went in General Shields came
forward to meet me, and nutting his
band np tei his mouth, whispered in
my ear, "I'm glad to se i you here,"
emphasizing tha you In a complimen
tary man net r. Presently another Col
onel arrived and came in, when Shlolds
stepped np to him and went through
the same motion. Then another ar
rived, with 'the same result. When we
wore all dismissed, with ordeirs to re-
Eort next m ornlng at daybreal t, we bid
bo Genera I good-night and ' walked
outside tog ottior. When we w lie out
TV SERIES NO. 325
ot ear-snot; saia 1. lienticmen. l tninir
I can Hell each, of yoli what General
Shields whispered to hira.' ..' VhatP
whatP -risked,, the all.- 'Why,' said I,
. he limnly smid:r I am glad to see you
here. Every Colonel bowed assent
. General Shields had politely and polit
icly audresied to each oue of us the
same gratifying formula, but next day
we fought none the worse for that, al
though an occasional smile would break
out." , '
Again he said: "I was ona time
discussing in Washington with General
Sheridan the real value of brevet rank.
I arguod that brevets should be limited
to a very few. Sheridan contested that
they ought to be bestowed for meritori
ous services. We were Indulging in a
glass of punch together. I took up
Sheridan's glass of rightly-compounded
punch and poured iu contents into the
water-nicher. 'There,' I exclaimed, 'I
have illustrated the value of a liberal
system of brovets. Drink your punch.' 'I
Energy on Tap.
i see mat, a frenchman has got a
Eatent for canned energy," observed
Irs. Spoopendyke, . she picked up a
lot of cuUnteel beads on a needle
and began sowing them on medallions
for dress trimming.
"Got a what?" interrogated Mr.
Spoopendyke, who was blacking bis
"Yes. lie says he can put strength
up in bundles and send it anywhere, so
they can run ships and things without
steam. He sent evor so much over to
"What cireus bill have you been read
ing now?" queried Mr. Spoopendyke,
glaring at his wife.
"It's so," she replied, "I saw it in
the Eagle. He does it up like pre
serves and it lasts ever so long, and it's
just as fresh and ntrong when tbey open
it as it was at first."
"Who puts it upP Who're you talk
"A. Frenohman. He gets a lot ot
strength and fixes it, with electricity,
and you can buy it anywhere. I'm go
ing to get some and take it. It'll be
just as good as going in the country,
aud may be it'll help my headaches. I
suppose the Government will buy a lot
of it for trumps."
"Yon gone Taay agniuP" demanded
Mr. Spoopendyke.' -What d'ye moan
by putting strength in boxes? The en
ergy is some kind of dnd gtsted fish P
S'posn you can put main strength up in
a bottle like a measly shrimp? If
you're going to read, why don't yon
read straight P"'
"Why, I did. He has some kind of
a machine and he makes energy so it
will last, and then he solders it up in
tims, or something, so you can keep it
in the bouse. I'm going to have some
to do the washing." 1
"Does H strengthen up the mind of
a dod-gaated idiot?" blurted Mr. Spoo
pendyke. "Can it make a measly
Spoopendyke woman talk sonse?"
"The paper didn't say; but if it is
all they claim for it, it will be a great
help in hotise-cloanimr and moving the
step-ladder around when you want to
hang pictures. And thou it saves boil
ing beef-tea. Oh, you ought to read
alKittt it. They say its the greatest in
vention of the age."
"D'ye mean to tell me that they're
selling muscle by die keg? Want me
to understand that some frog-eater is
keeping industry on draught? Think
I'm an ass?"
"That's what the F.aglt says," re
joined Mrs. Spoopendyke, with wo
man's implicit reliance on anything in
print "And tbey can make it iu any
quantity cheap, so we can have all w'a
want I wish you'd get some right off.
and we'll try it on Friday's sweepings."
"Quit!" howled Mr. Spoopendyko.
"Stop making an idiot asylum of your
self! S'poseyoucan make me b'lieve
that house-cleaning comes in jugs?
Think I'm going to b'liove that a
week's wash comes in a box, like meas
ly pills? P'raps you want me to think
that your dod-gasted stuff will pay the
rent and run my. business! Next time
you strike a corn salve vou read it un
dnrstandlngly, ye bear? Energy by the
pintl Strength oy the yard! Got that
rip sewed tip in my pants?"
, "Yes, dear," murmured Mrs. Spoo
pendyke, meekly; and Mr. Spoopou
dyke, having arrayed himself, plunged
out of the bouso and made for the fer
ryboat. "Hello, Spoopendyke!" saluted hia
friend Specklewottle; "See this thing
in the paper about the Frenchman who
is boxing up energyP"
"Yes, certainly, replied Mr. Spoo-
Jiendyke; "and I've been all the morn
ng trying to explain it to my wife,
but these women can't understand such
things. How's stocks P"
iih3 eij ot puo.H A.iin,io) 'ifl
-Jtiq .10; B.lllttJIlS ;t ui.U8 MOU
k otM '9ti.Mp tin.it)Aris.i(i inu)niojd
n jo uog ,)H.u1.idii,)i m 'uuuiastittu
iii.mqf) spiWKiiotii ,(tiinn ouuiiouin
'X.tnsBAil uoiuuion 9ii ojiq pduan
9,m q.)iM 'sn(.i9qqoj stiotniunn tuojj
(iv8.it1 pun 'K9tauiMii uB;uuom eqi
3uotn a.m B.ui.Mttibpwq Jqj, uio
Jt0 qi-lOtf U.ie)H9MIlUOS nj pWA0.)hp
uuoq HAtiq 'vtrpio nowot iq putioq pun
nieamo AYtiu39.t 'jatirnnn ui Auiqi
etuos '.Mtiiuo jo pusq pozuftto ny
'snrtrjutioni Aooy etri u
etiop 3a(pjo joieppoo3 si ejaqx
A Norwich boy lost his grip ou mo
string to his toy balloon and it wont up
onto? sight. After the toy bad disap
peared the little philosopher walked up
to his mother with the rf iij-k, "Mam
ma, I had got tired of that thing, so I
thought I had better give it to God."
A New York girl stuffed the sleeve of
an old coat with straw and placed it
around her waist as she sat la the bay
window wrapped In the soft June twi
light. It looked all right and natural
from adtslauce, and broke the neigh
boring girls all up with envy, but th
satisfaction she derived from the hug
was about as thin as strained moon