CAIRO BULLETIN.
H
CAIRO. ILLINOIS. SUNDAY MORNING, JANUARY 15, 1882.
DAILY
OFFICIAL DIRECTORY.
County Officers.
Circuit Jilrlit! f. J. linker.
'lrcnlt;irk-A. II. Irvln.
County JikIkhK. 8 Yocum.
County Clerk 8. J. II ii mm.
County Attorney J. M. Damron.
County Treasurr Miles W. barker.
Hhetltf .lohn IloditH.
Coroner R KlUKeruld
Cimnty Cnmuilsslonurs T. W, Ualllday, 3.
Glblis and I'l'tur haup.
City Ofhctrs.
t'tivor N. B. Thistlewood.
I'ra-BKiircr T J . Kerth.
Clerk-leul. J. Kulry.
I. OUIlSOlOr-- Win. B. Gilbert.
Marshal I.. H. .Meyers,
Attorney William HeLdrlcka.
H01X1) or AXJJMHMBJf .
Mrt Ward-l'cter tiaup. T. M . Ktmlirontth.
nujuuii Ward Jesse lliuklc, 0. N. Rushes.
Third Ward-U. F, Hlake, John Woed.
Fourth Ward-Charles 0. Patter, Adolph 8wo-
r!fth Ward-T. W. HaUlday, Ernest B. PottU.
OHIRCHKS.
CU1R0 BAPTIST. -Coruor Tauth and Poplar
, streets; preaching llrst and third hundaya Id
each month, 11 a. m. aod7:SU p. m.: prayer meet-
CHCRcn OF TUB HEDKKMKR Kplacopnl)
Koirrtwiith itmt; Bunday 7:tWa ni., Uoly
Kucbaitlst; : m Sunday school 10:45 a.m.,
Mortilux prayer.; 8:00p. m.. Tenlng .rayera. f.
y. Darenport, 8. T, tt. Hector.
IIHST MISSIONARY BAPTIST CHCKCn.
r 1'rea. hlnK at 10:W a. n... p. in., and 7:30 p. m.
Siblmth ithool at 7:30 p. m Rev. 1. J. bboru,
JITHK RAN Thirteenth street; servtuss Hab
j haih l:3o a. ta. ; Sunday achool 2 p.m. Rt.
Kniippu, paalor.
METHODIST Cor. Eighth and Walnut streets,
1-reaUilnK Sabbath ll:uOa. m. and 7:30 p.m.
hai-lay btliool at 4:oup. m. Rev. J. A.bcarreu,
l'aslur.
IjKEhHYTERIAN Elithlh etreet: preaching on
.-alibatu at 11:0U a. rn. and 7:ip. m.; prayer
m e. i In t: Wednesday at 7:3f)p. m.; Sunday School
at 3 p. w. R H. V. Oeore, paalor.
ST JuKI'lI 8 nRoman Catholic) Corner Cross
and Walnut streets: services Sabbath 10:30 a.
fi. ; Sunday School at i p. m. ; Ycprs J p.m. ; str
fincvcrydnyattia. m. Rev.O'Uara, Priest.
CT. PATRICK'S Roman Catholic) Corner Ninth
0 sired and Washlnirton avenue; services Sab
oaih i and 10 a.m.; Vespers S p. m.; Sunday School
1 p. in. services every day at e a- m. Rev. Miisteisoll
pried.
K. R. TIME CARD AT CAIRO.
ILLINOIS CENTRAL H. H.
TKAINS MI'ABT. TRANS AHIUVl.
Mali 3:13 a.m tMail 4:'a.m
cdim'datlou.ll :10 a m Kiures 11:10 a. in
tExpreM 4:Jop.m Acconidalluii..:i5 p.m
Ml8 CENTRAL R. R.
Ma'l 4::Wa.m Ma!l o-oop-m
tKipress 10:15a m
C. A ST. L. R. R
Expre H::iOa.m
Acrom'diitUiu. 1:35 pm
I tKipress 11:3oa.m
(Narrow Gaui;e )
j Express 0 P
Accom'datoln 13:30 p.m
ST. L . I. M
AS. R. R.
tKxpress H::V)p.m
tAccotn cation. :.i)p m
I tKipress 8:50 p ra
tAccom'dation 11:45 a m
WABASH, ST. LOUIS PACIFIC IO CO.
Mail ic fc .... 5:0jj ,m t "Miatl A Ex.... 9:39 p.m
Daily except Sunday, t Dally.
ILLINOIS CENTRAL R. R.
THE
Shortest and Quickest Route
TO -
St. Louis and Clucago.
The Onlv Line Runninc?
9 DAILY TRAINS
ir'rom Cairo,
Making Direct Connection
WITH
EASTERN. LINES.
Tiuih'i Liti Cairo:
3:15Hm. Mail,
Arrlvlneln St. Louis 9:45 a.m. ; Chicago. B:3 i p.m. ;
Connecting at Odin and KlBngham for Clncln.
natl, Louisville, Indianapolis and points Kat.
ll:lO a.m. St. Jjouis and AV'etitern
Kxprpsa.
Arrivlnsln St. Louts 7:05 p. m., and connecting
fur all points Wesi.
4:20 p.m. FitMt KAiirfSJH.
lor St. Louis and Chlcatfo, arriving at St. Lonlrf
10:V) p.m., and Chtcago 7:) a m
4::i( p in. Cincinnati Kxprens.
Arriving at Cincinnati 7:00 a.m.; Louisville 7:20
a m.; lmllanapoll 4:0u a.m. Passengers by
this train reach the above points 1J to vJO
HOURS In advance of any other route,
t-frTlio4:J0 p. m. express has PULLMAN
Sl fcEPlNOCAR Cairo to Cincinnati, without
changes, and through slecpora to St. LOQls and
Chicago.
Fust Time Kast.
i ilS.seil;ClS ehi points without any delay
caused by Sunday tuterveniug. The Saturday after
noon tialu from Cairo arrives In new York Mouday
uornlug at lt: io. Till rty-six hours in advance of
ty othcrToute, ...
t tw-Kor through tickets and further Information,
applvat Illinois Central Railroad Depot, Cairo.
JAB. JOHNSON, 4. H. JONES,
Won . Southern Agent. Ticket Agent.
A. II. HANSON, Oun. Pass. Agent. Chicago
IR0N MOUNTAIN ROUTE.
TUAINS LBAVI CAIltO,
Arkuiisas andTxs Express 11:30 p.m. Dally
ABJUVE AT CAIUO. .
Express 2:50 p.m. Dally
Ticket oftlco; No, 55 Ohio Lovoo.
U. U.M1LBURN, Agent.
PHYSICIANS.
G
K0R0E II. LEACH, M. D.
Physician and Surgeon,
Rpcclnl attention paid to the llomoopathlc treat
mentof siirulcul dlnoasos, and diseases of womon
and children.
UlUce: On Mtn stroot, oppoalto the Post Office,
Cairo, 111.
DENTISTS.
W. C. J0CFLYN,
DENTIST.
OFFICE Eight. Btreet, noar Comnerclal Avnn
pn. E. W. WUITLOCK,
Dontal Surgeon.
Omoi No. 138 Commercial ATtona, betwaan
Mghth and Ninth StreeU
BANK.
ALEXANDER COUNTY
Couuiiertial Avenue and Eighth Street,
OAlIiO', IL.LS.
OfQoers:
F. RKOSH, President. I P. NEFF, Vice I'res'nt
U. WELl.8, Cashier. T. J. Kertli, Ass't cash.
Directors:
F. Bross m Cairo I William Kmza... Cairo
Peter Neir " Wlllinm Wolf.... "
C. M Oslerloh " I C O. Puller "
E. A. Ruder " II. Wells "
J. Y. Clemson, Caledonia.
A GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS DONE.
Exchange sold and bought. Interest paid In
tho Savings Department. Collections made mid
all business promptly attended to.
WOOD YARD,
Q W. WHEELER,
ANTIIKACITK COAL
AND
Summer Wood ami Kimlliu
conitantly on hand
STAVE CLIPPINGS
At Seveuty-flve cents per load. .
Stave Tr immi ntjH
At one dollar per load.
The "trimmings" are coarse shavings and make
the best summer wood for cooking purposes as well
as the cheapest ever sold In Cairo. For black
smith', use Insetting tires, they are unequalled
Leave ynor orders at the Tenth street wood yard
LNSUBACE.
i-3
I
s
TJ
R
A.
N
C
E
o
M
5J
m'ji
v:)
S3
'A
V.
art
M2
S r
eg
os in
H -
C
O
F EBB Y BOAT
CAIRO CITY FERRY CO.
THREE feaE&a STATES.
On and after Monday, June7lh, and until lurther
notice the fenyhoat will make trips as fi. lions:
JATBS LKAVSA LEAVES
Foot Fourth at. Missouri Land'g. Kenturky Ld g.
8:00 a.m. 8:40 a.m. 9 a.m.
10:00a. m. ln:3ii a.m. 11 a.m.
3:00 p.m 2:30 p.m. 3 pm.
4:00 p.m, 4:S0p,m. 5;m p.m.
SUNDAYS
3 p.m. :S0 p.m. S p.m
CAIRO ANI NEW MADRID PACKET.
REGULAR PACKET
TO NEW MAWUD.
STEAMER SILVERTII0RX.
V. J. TURNER, Muster.
LEM. UILL, Clerk.
Leaves Cairo for New Madrid midway poluls
every Tuesday, Thursday and Suttirdiiy at 2 p, m.
Returning leaves New Madrid Wednesday, Friday,
and Monday at 7a.m.
Fur freight or passau-c apply to
JAMES IlKiGS, Agent.
THE HALLWAY.
Bit m4$jmwwd ,:
"THE .KALLIDAY"
A Now and i:ompietn Holol, fronting on Lcvoo
Second and Railroad Strouls,
Cairo, Illinois.
Tb Passenger Depot of I ho Chicago, St, Louis,
an' ow Orleans; Illinois Central; Wabash, Hi.
Lonls and Paclttc; Iron Mountain and Southern,
Mobile and Ohio; Cairo and St. Lonls Railways
are all Just across the street ; whllo tho Stunniboat
Landing Is lint ono square dlstnnl.
This Hotel U heated by sleam, h stoam
Laundry, llvdraullo Klovator, Kloelrlc Call Hells.
Automatic Flro-Alarms, Ilallis, absolutely puro air,
purlect sewerage and complete appointments.
Superb furnishings; perfect service; and an uu
vxcollea labia.
Ii. P. PATIKKH cto CO.,li
.
BANK.
THE CITY NATIONAL
!B jil Ii K1
Of Cairo. Illinois.
CAPITAL, 8100.000
A General IlaiiKin? business
Conducted.
Thos. W. Ilalliday
Cashier.
JNTERPRISE SAVING BANK. .
Of Cairo, III.
EXCLUSIVELY A SAVINGS BANK.
TIIOW. W. IIALLIDAY,
Treasurer.
STOVES AND TINWARE.
gTOVES! STOVES!!
ALL 80BTS, SIZES AND STYLE
AT
DAVIDSON'S
Manufutturer ot and Dealer in
TIN, COPrER & SHEET-IRON WARE
ALL KINDS 0? JOB WORK DONE TO ORDER.
NO. 27 EIGHTH STREET,
Cairo,
Illinois
VARIETY STORE.
NEW YORK STORE,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
The Largest Variety Stock
IX TIIK CITY.
GOODS SOLD VERY CLOSE
C. O. PATlKIi & CO..
Cor. Nineteenth street I
Commercial Avenue
Cairo, 111.
COMMISSION 51 ERf'HANT,
(j, 31. ALDEN,
Commission Merchant
roll THE S41.R or
Hay, Grain and
Country Produce,
orricK:
Room No. 1, up stairs In Cuhl'a Building,
No, S) Ohio Levee,
COAL WOOD ICE.
Y M. WARD,
DKAI.KIl IN
WOOD, COAL and ICE,
1S
Muddv
Coal
hy the Ton or Car Load, delivered lu any part of tho
City
WOOD OF ALL KINDS.
tfT Leave orders at my Wood and Coal Office.
"YM. 31. BAXTER & CO.,
Maniifucltircrs ol
ri'RE LIQUID PAINTS, WHITE LEAD
Zincs, and Colors,
No. 52 IViirl StrtM-l, NEW YORK.
Our Liquid Piilnls are resdv forlmmeillitte use on
opeiiluit Hie paekaires, no oil, spirits of turpentine
or dryers beliin reqnlri'd,
l'Hriiy.--'u uuaraiiieo their absolute purity and
their freedom from barytus, rlny, alkalis, water,
bennine, simp mut other articles which are used to
adulterate liquid (lalnl.
Covering ( upiicity. Tbey weliih fifteen to sir.
teen pounds to the gallon, and will cover better
mid moru surtuee than any chemical paints or those
enntiilnlnu barytesor cluy, an these add wclht
without body.
I'lTiniuieiiey of Color Great earn has hoen taken
In selei'ttnu colors for tinting, and we use only per
manent colors, consequently our tints do not fade,
Coiivotilor.cu Any ono who can use a paint
brush run apply theso paints, and buliitf ready for
use, there Is no waste or i.xeess of material, a Is
the caxo nlteu when lend, oil and tiirpentlno have
to no purchased- Tltu colors can always he exactly
matched and there Is no nceslty of having two or
tlireu shades ou the same bullillnit, as Is often tho
case when tints aru madoexperlmeiitnlly.
Our Puro Liquid 1'nlnts are put up In small cam
from 1 to A lbs., nnd also by the gallon. In package
from cans of . 1, 11, .1 aurt I) nails., to kegs of 10, 15
and M walls., and bbli. of Kails,
Hainplo CMdsan l ,"ik:e LlsU mailed to any ad.
(rnsa, nnvlildSia.
ICE.
JOHN SPROAT,
PROPRIETOR OF SPROAT'S PATENT
Refrigerator Oars,
AND
Wholesale Dealer in Ice.
ICE BY THE CAR LOAD OR TON, WELL
PACKED FOR SHIPPING.
Car Loads a Specialty.
OJPirioK:
Cor. Twelfth Street and Levee,
CAIRO. ILLINOIS.
MILL AND C0MMIHHI0N.
JJALLIDAY BROTHERS,
CAIRO, ILLINOIS.
Commission Merchants,
DIAX1HI IB
FL0UB, GRAIN AND HAY
Proprietor
Egyptian Flouring Mills
Highest Cash Price Paid for Wheat.
JJANK STATEMENT.
REPORT OF THE CONDITION
or TUB
CITY NATIONAL BANK
at Cairo, iu the State ot Illinois, at the close of
business,
December 3 1st, 1881,
RESOURCES.
Loans and discounts $ 398,621 IB
Overdrafts tttj $
U. S. bonds to secure circula
tion 50,0110 00
V. S. bonds on hand 8 01.0 00
Other stocks, bonds and mort
gages 50,853 04
Duo from approved reserve
afients 51,647 6
Due from other national banks 19,044 b9
Due from State banks aud
bankers 14,3-7 80
Real estate, furniture and fix
tures 81,497 18
(.'hecks and other cash Items. .$ 2,809 97
Hills of other Banks 25,700 00
Fractional paper currency,
nickels and pennies 150 80
Gold 2fi,515
Silver 7,4681.941 00
Lecal Tender notes 30,000 00 62,661 77
Redemption fund with IT. 8.
Treasurer, (5 per cent, of cir
culation) 2,25000
Due from U. 8, Treasurer,
other than 5 per cent re
redemption fund S 055 11
Total $706,ftM 19
, LIABILITIES.
Capital stock paid in $ 100.000 00
Surplus Knnd lai.OoO 110
Undivided Profits 1,588 48
National bauk Roles outstand
ing 45.000 00
Dividend unpaid a, (MR) U)
Individual deposits subject to
check 4),593 03
Demand certificates of deposit, 13,'3 41
Duo to other national banks, 4,940 to','
Duo to fStatu bunks and
bankers 18,440 05
Total $706,851 19
Slate of Illinois, county of Alexander, as.
I, Thos. W. Ilullld;iy, Cashier of the above named
bank, do solemnly swear that the above statement
Is true to the best of my knowledge and belief.
Tuos. W. Halliuav, Cashier.
Subscribed and tworn to belore me this 9th day
of January, 1BSJ. M.J. llowt.nr,
Notary Public.
CoiutKcrr Attest:
R. H. CltNNtNllHAM, 1
a. D. Williamson, Directors.
II. U. Cashes, I
MEN, WOMEN AND BOOKS.
EDITED IN THE INTEREST OP TUB CAIRO
rulJLIC LIBRARY.
The death is announced of William Ilar
risun Aineworth, nn English novelist whose
works wero widely road in the circulating
libraries o( America and English. lie was
horn in Lancashire in 1905.
Within tho past week tho fund for tho
endowment of a Garfield professorship at
Williams College has recoived an addition
of about $8,000 in Huston. The total raised
for tho purposo is about f 35,000. About
$15,000 moro is needed.
A portrait of Luther, until now un
known, has been discovered in an old
Leipsic church. It is stamped upon gilt
leather, and bears an inscription which
identities it. It is well preserved and is a
good likeness and a fino work of art.
The latest gift of Mr. Robert L. Stuart,
of New York, to Piicoton seminary is a
lot of ground opposite to tho new profess
or's houses which wore built by Mr. Lenox,
costing $.1,000, and tho sum of $18,000 for
tho erection of a house thereon for Profes
sor ration.
A house built by Daniel Symtncs, brother
of John Clevo Syuimes, tho foundor of Cin
cinnati, has just been demolished. It was
the oldest landmark in tho city proper.
John Howard Tayne, thtuthor of "Homo,
Sweet Home,' was a frequent guest within
its walls.
Mr, Whittikr hai written thus to a New
Haven school which recently celebrated his
birthday by recitations of his writings : "I
wish theso writings were better, for your
sako as well as mine, but I trust you will
find them 'not unfaithful totruth.duty, free
dom, patriotism and Christian charity.
With every good wish for your progress in
knowledge and virtue, I am very truly thy
friend, John G. Whittier."
A candidate foi the appointment to the
Bodleian librarianship, who flatters him
Belf that he is skillid in Latin hymns, late
ly bored Mr. Swinburne for some time by a
conversation on hymnology. The poet, with
characteristic audacity, invented a line and
a half of monkish Latin, and asked if his
interlocutor happened to know the hymn
from which they came. "Know it I" was
the answer; "why, I say it over every night
before going to bed 1"
Mrs. A. D.T. Whitney, the author, lives
at Milton, near Boston, and has a most pic
turesque homo. The house is a quaint, old
fashioned brown one, with a broad veranda
across tho frour, supported by pillars, over
which climb trailing vines. Every room
has its shelves or table of hooks they are
scattered everywhere in charming profusion.
Mrs. Whitney, like many another woman
writer, does away with the blue-stocking
"tradition," and is as neat and practical as
a housewife as she is delightful as an au
thor. Mr. A. 1$. Alcott and his daughter,
Louisa, celebrated their birthday last Tues
day by addressing poems to each other. Mr.
Alcott wrote not long ago some pretty little
verses to his two-year-old grand daughter,
the child of his dead child May. Thus
they begin :
Uy babe I my pleasurel day by day
1 court thv soft and sunny smllo,
Whilst round my chamber thou doit pray,
And woo mine eye with cunning wilo.
Mr. Henry James is, it is reported, about
to write it novel of Cambridge life. Mr.
James is now nearly forty years old; ho is
a man of medium height, of Arm figure
and full and now ruddy face. His hair and
eyes arc dark, his forehead is high, his full
beard close-cropped. A correspondent of
Hartford Courant says that his dress, air
and manner are those of an Englishman,
and that in his general contour of face and
form he resembles the Prince of Wales.
SUCCESSFUL LITERARY NAMES.
Clemens, the humorist (better known as
Mark Twain), has done better than any man
of his turn of labor. He has been 15 years
before the public, and during that time has
become rich enough to livw off his income.
His property in Hartford is worth more
than 1(80,000. Mrs. Stowe 1ms made more
by her pen than any other American
woman, and has probably cleared $100,000,
This may seem like a largo sum, but when
it is spread through a quarter of a century
it is not such an immenso sum as it first
appears to be. Marian Harland (Mrs.
Terhune) who has written industriously for
20 years, has probably made $30,000. by a
dozen novels. Her cook-book has also
been very profitable. Miry J. Holmes has
been also highly successful. Gail Hamilton
(Miss Dodge) enjoyed a good salo of her
books during her early days of authorship,
but her vanity got tho better of her judg
ment, and she quarreled with her publish
ers. Her next book was devoted to the
quarrel, and at once impaired her pop
ularity. She now has a corner in the
papers, but will never do much in books
again. Walworth, who was shot by his
son, never made much out of his books, and
they were, in fact, too inferior to sell with
out extraordinary puffing. Josh Billings
(Shaw) has found unusual popularity. He
is witty and says ninny wiso as well as
funny things. It seems a pity that such a
clever fellow should be obliged to borrow
the jokes of poor Artemus Ward and print
them as original, but such is one of tho
weaknesses of funny fellows. Carleton lias
paid Shaw $30,000 for bis almanac, which
has been issued for ton years or more.
Hocheslur Democrat.
Eggs from Different Brceila of Fowls.
A niTi".inil('iil of tho Ohio Furiiu r,
Funny Field, jjivrs tho results f soiihj
experiments mid observations, hs fol
lows: After repealed experiments with tho
dill'erent varieties, nnd comparisons wilh
others w ho have experimented In tho
same direction, I have eoiieluded that
thn lnying capabilities of tho principal
varieties are about as follows:
Light ltrahams and Partridge Cochins
eggs, seven to the pound: lay 130 per
annum.
Dark nrahams eggs, eight to tho
pound; lay VM per annum.
Black, w hile Htul bull' Cochins eggs,
eight, to the pound; lay 125 per annum.
Plymouth Hoek-oggs,3 to the pound;
lay W per annum.
Houtliins eggs, 8 to tho pound; lay
130 per annum.
Lft Fleehe eggs, 7 to the pound; lay
130 per annum.
Black Spanish-eggs, 7 to tho pound;
Iny 130 per annum.
Leghorns eggs, 9 to tho pound; lay
160 per annum.
Hamburg eggs, 9 to tho pound; lay
ISO per annum.
Polish eggs, 9 to tho potiud; lay 125
per annum.
Bantams oggs, 16 to the pound; lay
90 per annum.
It-egret very much that I dldnotkenp
account of tho cost of food cousumodby
each vurlcty. ,
The Bose and the Glove.
Why did he lonvo llko this? Heaven knows:
W'oHry.I think of bin love;
Ha Jpft mo a kiss and it ni'w-pliiokcd rosej
And I for tho fancy's sako, I suppooe
Ottvo him my violot kIovo.
Tho ships nail over tho sphs. I know,
Too fur for a maWeii's slicntl
The ships sail on, the stronif winds blow,
And somo to tho lauds of the Ortnnt go,
And some to tho sturluas nlshtl
I look, and ovor the wnvos afar
Tho white sails dicker and g learn,
And tbo ship ridos irnyly over tho bur;
Hut tho niifht la blank, with novor a star,
Aud my heart Is sail with Its dream I
Only tl dim of tho sou's far strand,
Only tho (lurk I seo;
Hut he loft mo here, by tho troddon sand,
With only a roso In my littlo hand,
And nevor a word for mo!
He Didn't Take It. j
He said he was looking for a suitablo
holiday present for his girl, and after
the stationer's clerk hall showed him
boxes of writing paper, gilt covered vol
umes of poetry, scrap books, fancy ink
bottles and various other things, he fi
nally led him up to a pile of albums nnd
announced:
"Now, then, here is the very thing
you want. An album is the gift to bo
appreciated at all times, and tho girls
are always crazy about 'em."
"They put photographs in 'em, don't
they?"
"That's what they are for. Your he
frothed will place your photo hero in
the first naice."
"Yes.'1
"On the next will be the photograph
of her noble father. Then comes tlio
fond mother, followed by aunts who died
of quinsy, and uncles who got killed
while coon hunting. Then: strings a!ong;
two or three bald-headed babies sucking
sticks of candy, and the w hole winds tip
with the picture of tho old friend of tho
family who used to trot your girl on his
knee when she hadn't a tooth in her
head."
"Not by a durned piglitr answered
the young man as he dropped the album
, he had ben holding, "lie's a hyena in
the bush, he is! After he knew we hud
Iwen engaged over a year, he slipped
over there one afternoon and 'offered
to deed her ten acres of land in win
ter wheat if she'd give nie tho shako
nnd fuller him to Indianapolis. Yon
bet I'm laying for him, and if ever I
run across him in tho woods he's got
to clinch faster'n a red squirrel or he's
a gonncr! I guess I'll look around a
little further, fm kinder agitated and
reckless now, and I can't exactly tell
what I do want." Detroit Free rra.
m i c
The Parson Wasn't "Werry PertickW
But Undo Naco Was.
The Rev. Whangdoodlo Baxter, nn
Austin colored clergyman, wished to
hint to Uncle Nace, who is his near
neighbor, that a gift of a cord of fire
wood would be very gratefully accepted.
Uncle Nace, by the way, does not like
Whangdoodlo much. Finally, says
Whangdoodlo, insinuatingly;
"Uncle Nace, 1'so gwino ter bo pow
erful hard up for firewood this winter.
Can't yer gimme a load?"
Uncle Jace looked all around as if ho
were afraid of being overheard, and then
he said:
"Parson, is you worry pertlckler what
de wood comes from.1"'
Parson Whangdoodlo supposed thisti)
mean that Uncle Juice was going ti)
give him some stolen wood, so he re
plied: "Uncle Nace, as long ns I gets do
wood I don't keer much whar it come
from."
"Den, Parson, you don't keer whoso
wood you burns up."
"Hit's all de sumo ter me, Uncle
Nace."
"Well, I am gwine," said Nace.
"Whar is yer gwine?"
"Ter lockup my wood shed." Out
teuton AVm's, '
m - s
At a Rehearsal,
The manager to a soubretto: "As for
you, my girl, you aro simply detest
able." The soubretto cries out at this, nnd
addressing the author, who has re
mained perfectly silent, "Look here,"
she says; "you, tho author, speak; ex
press an otiinion!"
Tho author, in a voice half supplicat
ing, half scolding: "I? llowcaultell
anything about it? I'm in lovo with
J'OIlP"
Hard of Hearing.
One of our Boston millionaire rail
road kings, says the "CoiiriVr," has a!
brother who is quite hard of hearing, I
while ho himself Is known from hero to
Burlington in Missouri us having a very
prominent nose. Ouco he went to Now j
York ami dined nt a friend's house,
where he sat between two young Indies,
The ladles talked to him very loudly,
and rather to his annoyance, but he said
nothing. Finally one of them fairly
veiled a little, eommontihteo remark nt
him, and then said, in an ordinary tone,
ty tho other,
"Did voti over seo such a noso in all
your life'P"
"Pardon me, ladles," said our mil
lionnnire; "it is my brother who is deaf."
ai
A Georgia Teachor.
A colored "school-marm" in this
county has a number of men with fami
lies attending school ono forty years
old. Among the number is tho man
with whom she is boarding, and ono of
tho first to receive tho rod of correction
was her landlord. Two weeks ago tho
forty-year-old student was told his next
failure to know his lesson would bring
upon him "the roil certain." He says
sho is right, and if, while ho attends her
school, no disobeys her commands, or
fails to comply with her regulations,
that she ought to wblp him, and his
duty Is to submit to tho chastisement
without complaint. Marion Co, ((a.)
Argus.
i s
Tho Washington monument has now
reached the height ol 200 foot abovn iti
.1, , 1