Newspaper Page Text
1 , "
CAIRO B ULLET
CAIRO," ILLINOIS, WEDNESDAY MOBNINU, FEBRUARY 22, 1882.
"'.iijir-.N H. Tliiatlewood.
r,i un.r.T -T J . Kerlli.
' Olcik llirtllitf, J, Koloy.
f'oii,ie:or--Wni. )V Gilbert.
AUoruey- Alllinui Hendrlcn.
iiii or ai.usk.is.
ruKl Wnrd-l'eter Sstip. T. M. Klmtirough.
.-. i-nlill W:d-.'cMH llltiklc, C. . UllKbuN.
Thini WrJ U. F, Rl.ke, John Wood.
r'oarh Ward-Charto 0. Patter, Adolpn 8wo-
"T' h Ward-T.W. n!!l(ty. KrntB. Pattlt.
Circuit Clerk A. U. Irvln.
1 uuuiy JuiU M Yucnm.
County Olera S. J. llumra.
County Attorney J. M.Damroii.
County Treasurer Milu W. Parker.
hi-tUf John Hodge
(omiier R Kltxgrrald .
rotiniyCoinmlMloners-T. W. IfnlllUuy, J. A.
lilbl. hikI Pewr miud.
CiMRO rHPl'lST. 0'rur Tenth and I'oplar
; hkuu; preaching nmaud tnlrd Sunday in
month. II ui.ndT::vt f. m. ; prayer meet-
OUl'KCII OP TUK RKDKKMKR-Kplcopal)
0 i ourt.nih treet; Sunday 7:00 a in.. Holy
liurhwlft; '.': a. in.. Sunday ool lo:4S a.io ,
Morning prayer: S:oo p. m., evening raer,. r.
p. Daveuporl, S- T. It. Hector.
t'ilisT MISSIONARY baptist ciivkch.
T hie.g at. lfi:l a. n... .1 p. m.. and 7: P-
j'.ofh et.himl ' 7: p. " r' J- 9how,
1 I'TMhHAN-Tulrtoentu trtet; serviie Hab-
Uui ! :.:u a. ru ; humlay ecbool 2 p. m. Kev.
MKTilUDIKT-Cor. BVbth and Walnut ftreet.
hri'x-bttiff Sabbath ll:Ui. m. and 7:30 p.m.
Minday hiioul at .t:0 p. m. Hcv. J. A. bcrrell.
1 iCtM'.TTKKIAN-ElKSith sued: preachlcr on
Isn'iWt. .1 11:00 a. ni. atid 7:lp. m.; prayer
a .M-'mt! Wi-dnwimr l 7:3'Jp. m.; Sacday School
tt p. m. rte B.V. Ueor. pwitot.
,(i;4KHirS-nKumD Catholic) Corner Croe
J1 l4 Vinul (tri;eui; htvIcm sa'ibalb 10:BO.
jl.i fiinlnv SchtH.I at 4 p. m.; VDeri ip. m.; er
firf vry'dy r.t 8 a. m. Ke. O'Uara, rnfl.
PATIUCK'H-Roman Catholic) Corner Ninth
O tr.-t and Wanhlnifloii aTnne; err1ce ab
otu aari'l in a. m.; VtHpcr, i p. it.; Banday School
t ,i. :n. ;rvic- evnrt lay at S .m. Ke. MiWU-IioU
J!. It. TIME CARD AT CAI11U.
ILLINOIS CENTRAL H.R.
THAisa Dat 4kt. w ;U,IT-
Vail ...5:iS.mMnll ..4. ft .m
ccon.'datlon.ll :M a m Kxpra J
tExpr 4:l p.io I Accumdatloy . .4:o5 p.tn
MISS CENTRAL R. K.
tM.II 4:Wa.njtMall ,V'??-m
tUxprem 10:15a m tKxpn U:a tu
C. ft ST. L. R. U. (Narrow Oan9 )
Expr.-P 8: a.m I RxpN.. ...... 6: 0 P m
Arcom'datlon. J :li p.m I Actom'datolu p.m
ST. L . I. M. S. R. R
tExpr ll:Wp.m MK.xpn.-K...-.-. i'M t m
tvicom nation. x:.iJp.m I tAccom'datlon 11.45 a.m
WABASH, ST. LOCH A PACIFIC Il'T CO.
Mall Jt ti .... ! .nl Mail Kx.... :' p.m
Only except Sunday, t Daily.
ILLINOIS CENTRAL R. R.
Shortest and Quickest Rontu
St. Louis and Chicago.
Tlio Onlv I-.ino Running
O DAILY TllAiyS
Making Dikkot Connection
TfuiN Leati Caiho:
:i:15 in. Mail.
ArrWmtln St. LonU 9 45 am ; Chlc4tfo.B:9t..m.;
Oouuctine t odin and KiHutbam for C'lurm
nail. LonlnvMc. IndianHpoliaand p.ilnt Ewt.
11:1U n.m. Ht. Ijouis iiiuX Wetttwrn
Arr:v!acln St. LouU7:0Sp. m., and connection
for all poiut!) A ect.
4:UO j.in. i'lust Kxprww.
I t St. LoiiIk ai.d Chlcairo. arriving tStM.oul
H'MOp.iu., and Chicago 7 :Uo a m
-4:;JO p.m. Clnoinnf.tl Kx precis.
rrivlng at Cincinnati 7:00 a.m.j Louiavllle 7:20
a m.; lndlanapnlln 4:i' a.m. Pajuwievra by
thia train reach the abovit polnta 12 to 3U
UoL KS in advance of any othur routo.
If-le4:i0 p. m. expr ha PULLMAN
M.KBPINOCAK Cairo to Clnclnnail, without
change, and through albupur to St. .Loot and
Fast Timo East.
Pi)cPtirmg h' lhl" lino through to Kat.
i tlJ'tllii,K.in rn polut withont any delay
canned by Sunday Intervi-nlui;. The Saturday after
noon train from Cairo arrive In Lew Yo'k Moudar
nomliiK at 10:45. Thirty ,ix hour lu advance of
nr other ronte.
irKorthronih ticket hnd further Information,
apply al Ulinol Central Railroad Liepot, Cslro.
JAB. JOHNSON. J. 11. JONKS,
Oun. Southern Aijent. Ticket Aeiit.
A. II. HANSON, Oen. Pa. Aient. Chicago
Q.EOKOE U. LEA.CH, M. I).
Plivnician and Burgeon,
Special attention paid to tba Homeopathic treat
ment of furi;lca! dlnaaae. and dlieait of women
Oflica: On Uth fltrcit, oppoilto the Pot Office,
Cairo, III. .
I W. 0. JOCFLYN,
Of KiCK Bltrhtlt Htreot, near CnmMrr.la! Anne
J)iTe. W. WnTLOCK, "
; , Dwntal B u rgeon.
Ornoi-No. Conmercik) Atenne, betweea
Xgtth nd Ninth Btrtu
( W. WHEELER,
Summer Wool and Kindling
conttantly on nana
At Nevputy-flvft et'iitu pf-r load.
At one dollar per load.
The "trlmmlngr"are eoaraeabavlnira and make
the h t anmnier wood for eooklng parpone a well
a the cheapest ever (old in Cairo. For black
"mltb'a ore IniettiUK llru. they are nnequalled
Lave vuor order at the Tenth itreet wood rard
52 2 w
or r: Tj
QAIRO CITY FERRY CO.
THREE iasi STATES.
On and after Monday, June 7th, and nntll farther
notice the fenybot will make trip a follow:
'.kAVta LXArx, lxatii
Coot Fourth it. MlRfoori Land g. Kentucky Ld f.
8:00 t. m.
9:1X1 p. m
I v. m.
8:S0 a. m.
9 a. m.
A New and complete Il .tel, frontlni on Leiee
Second and Railroad Street,
Tb Patenter D.-pot of the Chicaco, St. Lonl
bd'' .ew Orleans: Illluol Central; WabaKb, St,
Lout and Pacific; Iron Mountain and S'atberi,
Mobile and Oblo; Cain and St. Lout Runway
are all Jut aero the ireet : while the Steamboat
Lanrtifij; In lint one Rquare diatant.
This Hotel I heated by team, ha fleam
Laundry. Hydraulic Elevator, Klectric Call Belli.
Automatic Kire-Alarm. Bath, ahaolutely pure air,
purlect ewt-raC and complete appointment.
Superb furrjtiliinH ; perfect ourvice; and an nn
I. PxVllKKIt Ac CO..IHPe
Coiiuuerclal Avenue and Eighth Street,
P. BKOSS. President. I P. NEKP. VlcePree'nt
II. WELbS, CVehlur. T. J. Kertb, Aen'l caah
F. Br on Cairo I William Klui0. .Cairo
Pe'erNeff " I Wllliiim Wolf.... "
(M Ostcrloh...... ' C. O. l'atler -
K. A Budcr " I II. Well
J. Y. Clemrou, Caledonia,
A GENERAL BANKING BUSINESS "DONE.
Exchange fold and bought. Interest paid In
the Savtnit Department. Collection made and
all bulnoel promptly attended to.
JfEW YORK STORE,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.
The Largest Variety Stock
IN" TIIK CITY.
GOODS SOLD VERY CLOSE
. O. O. PATIEU 6c CO..
Cor. Nineteenth Ut 1 Pji m Til
OomiaorclalATuntl t4liril ill
STOVES AND TIN WRK.
ALL SORTS, SIZES AND STYLES'
Mivuufhf turer oi uml Dealer in
TIN, COPTER & 8IIEET-IR0N WARE
ALL KINDS OF JOB WORK UONK TO ORDER.
NO. 27 EIGHTH STREET,
Cairo. - - Illinois
WM. M. BAXTER & CO.,
PURE LIQUID PAINTS, WHITE LEAD
Zincs, and Colors,
No. 62 Pearl Street, NEW YORK.
Oar Liquid Paint are ready for Immediate neon
opening the package, no oil, spirit, of turpentine
or dryer being required,
Pnnty We guarantee their abolote purity and
their freedom from baryte, clay, alkali, water,
benzine, aoap and other article which are used to
adulterate liquid taint.
Covering Capacity. They weigh fifteen to fix
teen pounds to the gallon, and will cover better
and more turface than any chemical paint or thof e
containing baryte or clay, a theaeadd weight
Permanency of Color Great care ha been taken
In electing color, for tlutlug, and we ne only per
manent color, consequently oar tint do not fade.
Convenler.ce Any one who can are a paint
bruah can apply there paint, and being ready for
nte, tbre i no watte or excer of material, a, U
the cane often when lead, otj and turpentine have
to be pnrchaeed- The color can alway be exactly
matched and there I 0'i necexity of having two or
threw hade on the fame bnlldlng. a I often the
cane when tint are made experimentally.
Our Pure Liquid Paint are put up in f mall can
from 1 to & lb., and alo by the gallon. In package
from can of , 1, 2, 8 and 5 gall., to keg of lu, is
and -a gall., and bblt. of 45 gall.
Sample CjHin'l V:e Lin mailed to any ad.
PROPRIETOR OF SPROAT'S PATENT
Wholesale Dealer in Ice.
ICE BY THE CAR LOAD OR TON, IV EM
!'CKEI) FOR SiJIPI'INfi.
Oar Loads a Specialty.
Cor. Twelfth Street and Levee,
COAL, V.'OOB ICK.
P M. WAUL),
WOOD, COAL and ICE,
hy the Ton or Car Load, delivered In any part of the
WOOD OP ALL KINDS.
ttT Loave orjor at my Wood ana Coal OlHce,
Hulbert Bros. Wholesale Prif-e Llt.
4 Piano, 7 Oct., qnare, roewood, carted,
agraffo ..$159 00
7 Piano, npr. 1H oct cabinet grand. ......... 174 00
13 Organ, 4 fete reed, 9 flops & grand orgun f9 00
05 " 8 ot red, IS (top, coupler, tub-ban 73 00
Our Piano and Organ warranted flret-cla.
2 Violin ou tut, box bow, atringe, complete..., 3 00
S " cremona model, extra lino BOO
4 Accordeoo, 9 key i, ban box, floe tone......... 1 00
0 " 10 " 1 t op, 3 act reed, perfects 00
7 Mouth Organ, Vienna concert, 24 hole B0
9 " - Genuine Rlchter, 10 hole, U. 8. U
11 " " concert double 24 hole " 109
14 Clarionet, gonuloe Martin, 6 key, boxwoid 5 00
17 Fife, In ebony, Gorman diver ferule..., CO
14 Mualc box, 1 tone, crank, fine 1 10
19 " 8 tunc,, wind with lever, large 8.1 00
20 Violoncello, patent, machine head, good., 10 CO
23 Doable Ba, patent head, 8 or 4 tiring.. 2100
24 Guitar, maple, machine head, line flnlah.. 4 00
27 Banjo, 10 Inch, 4 bran bracket 2 00
23 Cornet, bra cornpouon style caae Acrook 9 (0
80 Drnm, brat, Pratvlao, Ornamented 9 00
Oold violin, guitar and banjo airing '11. Bro,.' 15
Silver " " " " " " " " 10
Steel " " " " " " " J
Ont. Rntsn, German or Italian, beat quality 15
In, taction Booki, Bow' or Winner, any
inatrument ,...... 35
Having Jnt mad a good trade for 100 Singer
Sewing Machine, will tell them for f23 etch while
Money li quite afo In common letter If plainly
Term strictly cash with order. Will take
Agent and dealer end for our40 page Catalogue
On abov not wholeaale jialce tgont can niak
ino per cent profit,
Call on utwhun yon com tost. Lout.
Kefercnco,: Any bank or wholuiale hour In
IIutbortBrot.il th only Qeneral Wholcale
Mula Uonfo In fit. Loul.
IIULBEUT BROS, 1
. m OUtr Btrwat, Saint Loud , Mo.
MARKETS BY TELEGRAPH
Chicaoo, Feb 21 10 a. m.
Pork-March. 1 17.03; April, 17.n0.
Wheat-March, $1.22. April, 1.24
Cora, May, 02C
CnicAtio Fob, 21 p.m.
Pork-March, 17.42K;B $17.C0 B.
Wheat-March, $1.24; April, $1.25
Chicaoo, Feb, 21 8 p, M.
Wheat-March, $1.25; ; April 12
Corn-Feb, 57c. March 57; May C3
Oats March, 408c;May,41c.
A western paper describes woman suf
frage ft.s "the rijrht of females to coerce
males by law-making.
Liberia has a population of about
twenty thousand A nierican-born negroes,
who exercise control over a million na
Swedish matches have attained a great
popularity all over the world. In tho
year 1880 about nineteen million pounds
were exported .
It takfcs about six million barrels of
crude petroleum to supply the world
one year. About thirty million barrels
are now stored in Pennsylvania.
The tall son of President Arthur, is
said to be as fond of dancing; as wa9
Nellie Grant when she was a belle of tho
And now they say the Chinesn are re
sponsible for the small-pox. If people
could be made to believe this, it would,
so to speak, knock John's laundry bus
iness. New Yorkers feel rather ashamed to
talk about polygamy in Utah when they
recollect that the Oneida community
does not reflect much credit upon their
r "I lovo diamonds," says Alphonso
Karr, "but I have a horror of those
which show me a woman carying in one
ear the bread of her children and in
the other the honor of her husband."
The managers of the Garfield monu
ment fund for the Pacific coast have in
vited designs, accompanied by plans,
specifications, and an estimate of cost,
not to exceed $20,000.
Miss Blanche Roosevelt tells a New
Orleans reporter thnt she has a life of
Longfellow nearly ready fur the press,
and that tLe poet has promised to reviso
tho proofs. She used to be a newspaper
Mr. "Francis Wise, a distiller, and tho
richest man in Ireland, has just died.
Ho left no will to dispose of his wealth,
which amounts to if 15,000,000. A rea
sonable share of this is in American
Within the presbyterian synod of
Kansas the Gospel, or something else, is
preached in eight different languages
English, German, Bohemian, French,
WeUh, Ch erokee, Choctaw, and Nez
In Ihe'Bay State mine, Newark dis
trict, Nevada, at a depth of 204 feet be
low the surface some bones were recent
ly discovered that so far no one has
been able to classify. How they came
there is a puzzle.
A youfig man, recently from Manito
ba, is commissioned by a number of
bachelors to oiler such inducements to a
like number of marriageable young la
dies as may induce them to leave On
tario and accept a home and a good hus
band in the great northwest.
There is a young man traveling around
in eastern Texas vaccinating the negroes
with bees-wax. He charges a dollar a
Yso.,' and represents himself as being
appointed by the United States govern
ment, and threatens that diro penalties
await those who refuse to be operated on.
A Boston florist says that for a year
past tho ladies of the best society of that
city have affected aesthetic flowers, pre
ferring anything of a yellow tint At
this season the hot-houses are taxed to
their utmost to supply lilies and French
marguerites, which latter are sold as
At Palouse Ferry, Washington terri
tory, an old Indian died, recently, who,
according to all accounts, was 110 years
old. In the memory of the oldest set
tlers this old man has not been able to
walk. He was blind and almost deaf,
and remembered Lewis and Clark on
their remarkable tour through the coun
try. A correspondent of tho Boston Jour
nal savs: "A young lady in Paris Mas
recently fined 50 francs and sentenced
to pay 50 francs damages for rushing at
another young lady who was walking: up
to th? altar of a church on her bride
groom's arm and tearing the crown of
orange blossoms from the bride's head.
'You don't deserve to wear it; you have
dono mo too much harm!" shrieked the
girl, after which she fainted awoy, but
was picked up by the beadle and handed
over to tho police."
A Pennsylvania firm Is manufacture
lng paper at Savannah from what is
called "tho saw palmetto," a material
heretofore regarded as nearly useless.
Tho patier is said to be of superior qual
ity, and especially useful as transfer pa
per, which has heretofore been import
ed. Paul Boyton, In his rubbers, floating
down the Arkansas, stopped at Ozark in
passing to light his pipe. A little lower
down ho came silently up to a skiff con
taining three negroes. They net up a
yell vrhon they saw tho paraphernalia,
jiaddledjapidly to shore, and then made
hurrhklly Into the woods, ' ,
An out-of-town druggist entered, a
Boston apothecary shop and had ft sim
ple prescription put up The charga 1
was tl.fcC He remarked that it 'Woa
rathcj dear, becaoso, uhewKsa. tint".
gist himself, he knew tho prico of tfTe
Ingredients. "That alters tho case,"
was tho responso; "seventeen cents,
A Troy mathematician has figured
out tho amount of gold and silver found
in the sub-treasury at New York by As
sistant Treasurer Acton on assuming his
oflieo. If a train of wagons were loin led
with a ton in each, the horse touching
tho tailboard of the preceding wagon,
the precious caravan would extend from
Troy to Albany.
James Dunlap worked for farmer Eld
ridge, in Lnnsdalo, Pa., ami wanted to
marry the farmer's pretty daughter; but
the fanner, with mercenary preference
for a rich son-in-law, said nay. Then
James went into the far west and sought
a fortune. Thy farmer's daughter re
mained constant through ten years, and
last week tho long waiting ended in a
One mile below Downicvillo, Cab, on
the Yuba river, is apparently a thrifty
pine tree nlxmt three feet "in height,
growing out of a solid rock. What is
curious about it is the fact of its making
no perceptible change in size since it
was first noticed twenty years ago".
A peculiar disease has broken out
among hoises in Wasco comity, Oregon.
The first symptom is the swelling of the
legs, their breaking anil running some
thing like boils, which cover the entire
limb, causing the hair to fall oil', leaving
the flesh raw and the animals very weak.
The disease- bailies the veterinary sur
geons, and is increasing to an alarming
Do not go west with a family unless
you have enough money to make a fair
htart. Do not borrow money to go west
The majority of those we have met in
their western homes who havo failed
have been those who came on borrowed
money, or without enough funds to eu
sure a send-oft. Am. Agriculturist.
John H. Wolfe playfully discharged a
gun at Melinda T. Jacobus at Jersey
City last October, and about two hun
dred grains of shot and portions of her
corset and dress lodged in her side.
Strangely enough, Miss Jacobus recov
ered, but just before she did so Johnny
proposed marriage to her. She declined
to accept him, and her father lately
caused his arrest on a charge of assault
and commenced a civil action against
him, placing damages at $4,000.
The New York Commercial informs an
inquirer that "the word 'dictionary' is
derived from the Saxon names Rich
ard, John, and Harry. It is supposed
that these three persons were the lirstto
put words into collective form and give
to them definitions which nobody but
themselves could understand. Richard,
the first, was, wo believe, an Irishman,
and his name was affectionately abbrev
iated to Dick. John was a Scotch High
lander, who pronounced his name
Shon,' and tho nationality of ''Arry' is
A bear undertook to break into tho
house of a Wisconsin man one night
while the man was out The man's wife
heard the bear, and in tjie darkness
thought it was her husband coming
home late. When the bear got away he
didn't stop running until he'd got nine
miles, ami you couldn't coax him to go
within a thousand miles of that woman
again. And yet, if she'd known it was
a bear, and not her husband, she would
probably have fainted and boon devour
ed, and the old man is awful sorry
it didn't'happen that way. Boston Tod.
Not to be Outdone.
No one oerson is nxnecteil tn tnnw
everything, yet many persons fall into
imitulers ami are lauglieil a, because
they havo not the courage to say, "1
don't know." A young Japanese of
high rank, sent to tlio United States to
be educated, was very unwilling to ad
mit, that all was new to him in this
country." He took great care never to
express surprise, and to gain information
in some other way than by asking direct
Being a guest, one day, at a gentle
man s taule, lie so far forgot himself as
to express bis relish for the mince pie.
""very nice pie." he said, bowing and
smiling; at his hostess. "What's its
name. . .
"Wo call this 'mince pie.' I'm glad
you like it Do you have mince pie in
Japan?" asked the lady.
"Oh yes, thank you; mince pie in my
country," he replied.
'Of what do they make them there?"
asked the lady.
A rrentleman of his rank noeil tint
have blushed to say, "I do not know,"
but he felt bound to keep up tlio honor
of Japan so far as it rested on mince
nies! Acain tastimr the nie slowlv nnJ
with tho air of a critic, his face bright
ened as ho said,
"In Japan minco nies are made of
pears and lish.
The electric light, which Is rapidly
taking the place of gas in air public
places of amusement, turns red into a
ilull, lifeless black, a fact of which any
readers may make a note. LtrUrous
black; as seen in jet, satin and fur, is
very becoming. Soft black, as in velvet
or good velveteen, is eoually so, but the
monotonous, grayish black is a hopeless
tint, ineffective in itself, and most inimi
cal to beauty. In thinking out a costumo
to wear at places of entertainment,
where the eluctrio light is used, thoso
who like to look well, may safely choose
frold color, heliotrope. Nile blue or sheeny
irocades, in which the colors so subtly
intermingle that tho transmutation of
one into a different tint would not ap
preciably destroy tho effect. Enijlish
"What in vnxi tlilnlr nf mv nrtlnlft nn
tho rjolitie.il Hltiintinn?" inmiirml Pun.
flerson. "Everybody I have heard speak
of it," replied Fogg," "pr(sei It very
lilfrhlv." !) tKovli" oiiil FeniliTMiin.
eagerly. 4'Whom have yon heard speak
of It?'' , ''Nobody Nit yourself." said
Fogg, carelessly. " Tendorson says ho
has learned one thing, namely, when he
cet.i a. cnmnlwnent ao-ain he f.Lall htt
satisfied tn fctko it as it is given. Here-
tutor h au not ask xor a uui t par
ttculMrfVJwlv TrantcripL . , v j
A Many-Sided Humorist
"Say, do you want a Joke?" asked 1
man entering tho office.
"If you see tho advertising man yoa
can probably dispose of it."
"Now you are trying to insult mo.
Probably you don't know who I am. I
am a remarkable man in disguise. I am
the author of the Spoopendyke papers,
which you have no doubt seen in tho
"Thought that work was done by
"No, sir. Stanley Huntley Is my worn
dc plume. Wait till I givo you an imi
tation of myself;" and seating himself,
and reflecting for a moment, he began:
" 'My doar.' mild Mr. Spoopendyke. 'wo have
received no Imitation to vlnltat hrlstmsg tree
over lit ColniieH'liiy'x resldenco.' 'Ain't that
Uhi awiM'tP replied Mr. Hpoopcmdvke. 'I al
wity iliil enjoy Chriatmn trepd.wid once when
a girl I wont out Into tho country with my
coiihIm, mill romiied ui-ixiiul tho wimmIh looking
forl.'hrlwtiiiiistreoi.' 'Voilld, did ye? Thought .
that tho dixIgHHttil tlilnirs irrow up find tlo
Rotund present, did ye? Thought that wax
tapers grew like leaves, did yo? All you want
Ik ten eents worth of common tmrk and a
wooded top to lie u grove. Think I'm Kolntf to
Uiko ueh a woman aiming Intelligent people?
All you want I to lace tight to bo a cnmpitlgn
pole. Tnko mo for a dixlifHHtwl, measly birch
"How'U that do? Now.,don't you
think that I wrote those papers?" said
the visitor, with the air of a conqueror.
"You have established your identity,"
answered the scribe.
"Ami that ain't all," continued tho
humorist "I do the humorous writing
for the Detroit Free iVivw."
"Thought that Charles Lewis was tho
Free Press man."
"No' doubt you thought so. Light
minded men are liable to think anything.
Lewis, or M. Quad, is another one of
my noma deplume. I'll illustrate:
"Tho other evfliilng, nn a Woodward Aveniio
car, a sml-far-ed man nt holding an oymer can
liotweeti his knee. 'Cning to have Ml oyster
Mew?" linked a red-oyoil miin sitting lunt oppo
site. 'No.' 'Fry? 'No.' 'Broil?' 'No.' 'What
are you going to have?' Tin going to have the
HvelloHt iilretis with my wlfo wtaen I gut home
you ever saw.' And, closing his right eye, tho
cad-faced man got off tbo car."
"How does that strike you?" asked
tho, humorist, with another expression
suggestive of a vanquisher.
"Another establishment of Identity,"
acknowledged tho scribe.
"I am also Bill Nye."
"William, I am glad to meet you."
"Do not address me as William until
I produce my credentials."
"We do not believe thnt any man has a right
to chw our maiio. Our coiiHtltution forlildi
such fiiinlliurliy. We aresentimental. When
hoie and fear clanro with funtiiMlo tiptoe on
our lirond bosom, tilled with generous throbs,
we do not think that tho moon-eyed editor or
another sheet has a right to slipup and nip out
a mouthful of our ear."
The scribe fell from his chairj but was
lifted to his seat by the kind-hearted hu
morist. "Now you can call mo William."
"William," whispered the scribe, and '
fumbling under a lot of papers, he drew
out a bottle and refreshed himself.
"My name is Alex. Sweet, sir, anil I .
write the humorous stuff for tho Texas ,
"L'nclo Nil" was met on Austin Aveniio yes
terday by Jim Webster, who suld: 'L'nule
Naeo, du tolls tno that yor's got do smartest
th rue-year-old boy In Austin.' 'Do man what
Informed yer stated it faek.' 'What etildence
has yer ob tint fuck? - Why. siih. do mldor day
a chicken cum Into my yard, nn dc boy bogUi
tor cliuse him wld nn Iimtlnck dat show what
a man bo's gwlno ter bo."
"Alex, I am glad to meet you. We
have exchanged sympathy w private
manuscript, and now that we meet, the
occasion is one of excessive joy. Is this
tho extent of your literary wardrobe?"
"No, sir; I am Eugeno Field, tho man
who writes primer for tho Denver Tri
bune. But wait I don't ask any man
to take my word:
"Here Wo Havo a Hoy and a Dog. Tho Don
Has a Dig Mouth, amUUio Hoy's Mouth tor Jum
Isl'orroHpondliigly Lariro. Will tho Hoy Pull I
the Iiog'sTnll? Yes. Ho Will Pull Ills Tall.
Will He PuU.it Twice? No. JIu Will Not Pull
' Who elso aro you?"
"I am numerous others. I am George
W. Childs, of tho Philadelphia Ledger.
'"My dog Isdeml, said Nuney Carey,
Come, wrlto to-day her bltchuary.
Gone to meet old Towsur.' "
A heavy fall attracted tho attention o?
tho porter. When lie came in ho founl
1 he scribe lying ou the floor insensible.
He will not recover. Arkansas (Jazette,
Twenty-three years ago Flora Templet-led
ri lied the world by beating 2:20.
Would it ever be beatc
nr was ti
tion. Since then eighty-four horses
have trotted in 2:20 or better, and quite
a number havo como within a fraction
Tho people of Reno, Nevada, hav
recentlj furnished an example of cool
ness in Utile of danger which tuny well
servo as an example to the subjects of
the effete despotisms of tho Old World.
Had tho unfortunate, spectators who
were burned in Vienna been blessed
with tho same presence of mind, their
lives would probably have been spared.
It seems that while tho population of
Reno was in tho Grand Opera House,
listening to tho strains which are confi
dently believed by Alice Gates to bo
sweet, an alarm was given. Tho pop
ulation of Reno turnecfpale. Tho dread
ed cry of "Fire!" smote upon tlio ear of
Reno. Fair Women shuddered and jrrew
faint. Some "strong man" immediately
gained tho door presumably to keep
tho crowd from getting out and to
preserve untarnished the Reno name for
coolness. At this awful moment a man
arose in tho gallery. Ho is now Reno' a.
demigod, but at thnt time he was a god.
He arose, we say, extended his hand,
and these memorable words fell from
his lips: "Keep cooll Tho fire U, in
Chinatown." At these words all hearts
were gladdened, and grateful glances
from fair eyes shot softly toward him.
His name was Hsgermann. When wo
consider that there were fully one hun
dred and fifty people in tho Reno Grand
Opera House; that it was, therefore,
jammed; that this immense crowd would
probably have required forty-five to lifty
seconds In emerging', that tho loss of iiio
would probably have boen enormous
when we consider all these thinirs. It is
not strange that the name of llajer
maun has been croblAJ-oncid la kor uf
gold upott Ketto' tereUti iz$ff..'